“I swear to God, Tony, sometimes you make it impossible to love you!”
Peter could hear Pepper’s voice through the door, she sounded furious and upset, which was unusual for her. She was always so – put together. Like she had it all figured out. She was classy and elegant, smart, beautiful and polite. She was the perfect woman, the perfect girlfriend. Peter still felt a little embarrassed to think that when he met Tony, almost a year earlier, he actually thought he might stand a chance with him. A few days later, he met Pepper and it dawned on him that the older boy was way, way out of his league.
“Wow, fuck, I’m so sorry it’s such a hardship to be with me! Why the fuck don’t you just go!?”
They met on their first day at MIT. It was the best day of Peter’s life, he’d always dreamed of going there, but he never actually thought he’d get in. And even if he did, he knew he’d never be able to afford it, so when he got the scholarship, it was like a dream come true – May was really proud. He was so nervous about meeting his roommate, he was afraid it would be some stuck-up, rich, little genius who’d make fun of him for his worn-out clothes, beat-up phone and used textbooks.
“That’s because you keep coming after me with your bullshit promises and lies, and I’m an idiot for falling for that!”
Tony was nothing like Peter had dreaded. He was so cool and laid-back, when he walked into the room the younger boy was immediately smitten with him. Peter noticed he wore nice clothes and his bags looked really expensive, but he was so nice to him. He introduced himself, let Peter choose which bed he would like to sleep in, he even took him out for coffee and they explored campus together. Tony was handsome and charming and an absolute flirt, by the end of the day, Peter was helplessly in love with him, he would write songs and poems about the older boy if he had any talent – unfortunately, he didn’t.
“Go on, then, leave, that’s all you ever do anyway. And don’t worry, I won’t call, we’re done for good this time.”
He remembered spending the next few days thinking of ways to ask Tony out. He rehearsed what to say in front of the mirror – it was terrible –; he looked through his clothes to see if he had anything nice enough to wear to a date – he didn’t –; he even went as far as to try and tame his curls the day he was supposed to ask him out – it was hopeless –, but it was all for nothing, because when he got back to their room that evening, with sweaty palms and wobbly knees, he found Tony kissing that gorgeous, cherry blonde vision that was Pepper Potts.
“You’re gonna end up alone, Tony, I mean it. If you don’t learn how to let others in, you’ll be lonely and bitter, and it’s gonna be all your own damn fault!”
And they made perfect sense together, they belonged to the same world. They were high school sweethearts, Pepper went to the same private school as Tony, her family was wealthy, just like his, she was tall and her nose was so fucking straight and perfect, just like her hair, and she had gorgeous blue eyes and she probably had beautiful clothes to go on dates with him, and they could go to expensive restaurants and split the tab and she’d be able to afford her half, and she could probably write poetry about him. They were just perfect together.
“This is bullshit and you know it, Pepper, you fucking know it!”
And still, when they weren’t together, Tony acted like Peter might have a chance. Like something could happen between them. Whenever Pepper dumped him – which had happened at least three times over the course of that year; four, if he counted that current fight – Tony would act different around Peter.
The younger man wasn’t sure if he was just imagining things – probably –, Tony was always sweet and a little flirty with everyone, but when he wasn’t with Pepper, it was – just different. He’d take Peter out on what other people might consider dates, his touches lingered for longer than necessary, he’d hug and kiss him whenever he had an excuse, they’d cuddle in bed to watch movies and eat pizza, it was just – weird. Good weird. Peter wasn’t complaining.
His friends seemed to think Tony saw Peter as a younger brother, Pepper thought so, too, but it wasn’t that, it wasn’t that at all. He noticed the way Tony looked at him sometimes, the way he stared at his ass when he turned around, the way his eyes lingered on his body when he changed into his pajamas at night. Tony wanted him, but for some reason he never made a move. Actually, he made several moves, but he never took the final step. It was like a very cruel, very drawn out foreplay that never led anywhere. Then he and Pepper made up and it was like nothing had ever happened.
“Have a good life, Tony.” Peter raised his head when Pepper’s voice got louder as she opened the door and walked right past him, she didn’t even notice his presence. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor, with his headphones on – although nothing was playing – and his backpack and a few textbooks resting on his legs. He was just coming back from the library when he heard the yelling coming from inside the room, so he decided to wait outside, but that had been over an hour earlier. He was hungry and his back hurt when he finally turned to see Tony walking out of the room right behind Pepper.
“Good fucking riddance!” The older boy yelled at the blonde’s back, but she had already turned the corner. His eyes dropped to where Peter was sitting and he leaned against the doorway, crossing his arms over his naked chest. He looked so good, all fucked out, they were probably having sex before the fight, his hair was such a sexy mess, like someone – Pepper – had run their hands all over it. “How much of that did you hear?” The older boy asked, rubbing at his forehead, and Peter just shrugged with a small smile.
“Not much. Are you okay?” Tony reached down to help him with his backpack and textbooks as Peter got up from the floor, which proved to be a little challenging since his legs had fallen asleep. Tony held him by the waist when he almost stumbled back down, their chests touching. “S-sorry.”
“It’s okay, munchkin. And I’m peachy.” The older boy smiled a little sarcastically, but Peter didn’t mind, he knew it was just a defense mechanism. He had some of his own. “I’m sorry you had to wait outside. Let me buy you a drink?” He still didn’t let go of Peter’s waist and the younger boy realized it was gonna start all over again. All the heavy flirting that made him fall even harder in love with his roommate, that made his heart swell with hope, only to be crushed again when he and Pepper inevitably got back together. Great.
“Yeah, sure. Let me just put this stuff away,” he whispered under his breath, watching a dirty, lopsided smile forming on Tony’s gorgeous lips.
To Peter’s relief – and disappointment –, Tony had invited other people to join them. Rhodey, Thor, Bruce, Clint and Natasha were already at the bar when they arrived and, somehow, they seemed to already know what had happened. Rhodey, Tony’s oldest friend, made jokes about how he and Pepper would eventually get back together for the hundredth time and Tony rolled his eyes and shook his head emphatically.
“I mean it, I’m done with her, it’s just too much drama, I don’t need this shit in my life right now.” Tony’s arm was a heavy, comfortable weight on his shoulders, his side was flush against Peter’s, their thighs pressed together, even though there was more than enough room in the booth for them to sit further apart. If Peter turned his head slightly to the right, his lips would be inches away from Tony’s jaw, the unmistakable smell of his aftershave would get him drunk way faster than the booze. “I’m getting another one, do you want one, too, Pete?”
“Yeah, sure.” The younger boy downed the rest of his beer as Tony got up to get more. Of course he had a fake ID – he was so cool – and it was convincing, too. It helped that Tony looked older than he actually was, he even had to shave everyday. Peter couldn’t grow a hair on his face to save his life and on top of that he had a baby face. The older boy had hooked him up with a fake ID, too, which was how he could get into bars with them, but every time he tried to buy a drink people looked at him suspiciously.
“You should give it a shot,” Peter was startled out of his thoughts by Natasha’s voice in his ear. The other guys were distracted, talking about their plans for the summer, but she was looking straight at him with a smart glint in her eyes. “You know. Stop pining, start acting.”
“Wai – what? I’m – what do you mean?” He giggled nervously, hands sweaty, but Natasha didn’t even pretend to believe his confusion. Peter liked her, but she creeped him out a little, she always acted like she knew what was going on with him and sometimes even he didn’t know what was going on with himself.
“C’mon, Parker, I’m not blind. You’ve been crushing on him forever, it’s cute and a little pathetic.” She shrugged and Peter actually choked on air. He looked around the table to see if anyone had heard her, but the others were still distracted by their own conversations. “It’s okay, they’re clueless.”
“I-I-” Peter didn’t know what to say. Should he deny it? Could he even make it convincing? Should he confess? Play dead? Call the cops?
“You should seize this opportunity, you know. Now that he’s single again.” Natasha rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her beer, and Peter blushed just thinking about doing what she suggested.
“I-I couldn’t, Nat. He loves her. They belong together,” Peter muttered, playing with his empty bottle, when he felt Natasha flick his forehead. “Ouch!”
“If they belonged together, they’d be together, dummy. They love each other, but it just doesn’t work between them. They know it, they’re just too afraid to admit it, they’ve been together so long, they don’t even know what it’s like to be alone anymore. They’re scared.” She downed the rest of her beer and glanced towards the other guys to make sure they were still distracted. “He wants you, Pete. And he knows you want him, too. That’s why he keeps leading you on, he wants to keep you interested, he’s saving you for later, like a snack. Don’t let him. You’re not a snack, you’re a three course, hot meal, a fucking feast. Make sure he knows it.” She leaned forwards, lips brushing against his earlobe, and if there was one single heterosexual bone in his body he would have shivered – but there wasn’t. “You should see how he’s looking at us right now. So jealous.”
Before Peter could say anything or ask what she meant, he felt Tony plopping back down in the booth by his side, one arm quickly reclaiming its spot over his shoulders, pulling him away from Nat, not so subtly.
“Hey, what are you whispering about?” Tony pressed his side to Peter’s, his arm bent so he could run his fingers through Peter’s wild curls. The boy shivered – because, yeah, every single bone in his body was very gay and very attracted to Tony – as he turned to look at Nat, who smirked at the older boy.
“None of your business.” She shrugged, turning away from them to join Clint and Thor’s conversation about climate change. Tony didn’t pay her any mind, he pulled Peter even closer – he was seriously beginning to question impenetrability – and placed a beer in his hand.
“We should do something fun this weekend, just the two of us,” he spoke close to his ear, the bar was crowded and loud, it was a good excuse to lean even closer to him and feel his hot breath brushing his neck.
“Like what?” Peter turned in his direction, their faces were inches apart, Tony made no move to pull away. God, was Natasha right? Did Tony really want him, was he really aware of Peter’s interest? Was he playing a game, trying to keep him close, leading him on? For what? What even was his endgame?
“I don’t know, we could catch a movie, grab a bite, walk around. You know. Just hang out.” Like a date. Peter wished he could say it, but he was a coward, so he just looked into Tony’s beautiful, soft, brown eyes, the eyes that made him fall in love in the first place, and smiled, nodding his head.
“Sounds fun.” The older boy beamed and the hand that had been scratching his scalp slid down his temple and twirled a curl behind his ear. Fucking fuck –
“Your hair is getting long,” Tony mumbled, eyes focused on Peter’s locks, a small smile playing on his lips.
“Yeah, I don’t have the money to get it cut right now, but when I head home for the summer May’s gonna do it.” At first, Peter was a little embarrassed to talk to Tony about his financial situation, he knew the older boy was filthy rich, but he acted so cool about it that Peter sometimes forgot completely.
“I kinda like it, it suits you.” He said, resting his hand back on Peter’s shoulder. “But then again, you’re gorgeous, so I guess any haircut would look great on you.” Peter’s breath hitched, because, yeah – he definitely wasn’t imagining things. Tony was flirting. And not, like, good-naturedly, it was real. Natasha was right.
What if – what if Peter took that final step that Tony refused to take? He was so sure he could make him happy. They wouldn’t fight, Peter would get him. He knew Tony kept crazy hours because he didn’t sleep well, he drank too much coffee and slept in way too often. He knew he didn’t like to talk about his dad or about the company that waited for him back home. He knew he didn’t like to talk about his feelings, but he didn’t need to, because he wore his heart on his sleeve and Peter could read him like a book. He knew he sometimes needed his space, needed to be alone. Sometimes he needed time to study or work on his projects. Peter understood him completely and he loved every single quirk of his. He knew he could make him happy.
Well, he could at least try.
The first time he cuddled with Tony in his bed, his scent enveloping him, his warmth seeping through his clothes and transferring to Peter’s shivering skin, he knew they were right for each other. Peter might not be perfect for him, he wasn’t rich, sophisticated, well-mannered or well-connected; he wasn’t a genius – although he was pretty smart – and he wasn’t the most good-looking guy out there – he wasn’t tall, his eyebrows looked funny and his lips were a little too thin –, so, yeah, he knew he wasn’t perfect for Tony, like Pepper was, but he was right for him. He knew it.
Tony didn’t seem to notice it, though, no matter how many other times they laid in each other’s arms. Like at that moment, lying on the grass by Charles River bike path with his arms and legs spread out like a starfish, with Peter’s head on his shoulder and a timid hand on his stomach. Peter could hardly breathe, but Tony was relaxed, peaceful, star-gazing and sharing trivia about the known universe with the younger boy – most of which he already knew, but it was nice hearing it from Tony’s lips.
“What are you thinking about, munchkin?” Tony interrupted his own rant about the Chandrasekhar limit when he noticed he wasn’t paying attention. Peter blushed, but looked up at the older boy, he was staring down at him with an amused little smile. “Am I boring you?”
“No, sorry, I’m just thinking about home. I miss May.” He shared a half truth, because that was something he was constantly thinking about lately. He hadn’t been able to go home for Christmas, so it had been almost a year since he’d last seen her. He missed Ned and MJ, too, and they’d both be in New York for the break. “Are you going home for the summer?” Peter quickly figured out that Tony hated it home. He never talked about it, never talked about his father and rarely ever talked about his mother, although when he did, it was always nice things about her, but it was easy to understand it wasn’t a subject he was comfortable with.
“I don’t have much choice.” He shrugged, looking back up at the sky. “My mom called, can’t say no to her.” The older boy closed his eyes, sighing, and Peter felt bad for bringing it up.
“You can come stay with me in Queens whenever you want. My bed is really small, though, so we’ll have to snuggle together, I hope you don’t mind,” he said, cheekily, and Tony looked down at him with a grin
“We’d make it work.” He wrapped his arms around Peter, pulling him closer, and only then did the younger boy realize he was freezing. He tucked his cold nose in Tony’s warm neck and he didn’t even flinch. “Hey, you know what, I’m driving back to New York, you should come with me, we could make a road trip out of it.”
“From Boston to New York?” Peter smiled with mirth, looking up at Tony again, and the older boy looked back at him with a frown.
“Yeah, what about it?” He huffed indignantly and Peter giggled, shaking his head.
“That’s not much of a road trip,” he argued, but Tony just shrugged.
“That’s up to us, we can make a road trip out of it.” And that’s how he knew he was right for Tony, because he heard what he didn’t say. He didn’t want to go home, he wanted to postpone his return, and he wanted Peter to keep him company as he got ready to face what waited for him in New York.
“Let’s do it,” He whispered in Tony’s neck and felt him tighten his grip on his waist.
“Cool.” Peter wanted to say something, maybe do something, but at the same time – what if Natasha was wrong? What if Tony really only thought of him as a younger brother, after all, what if all the flirting was only in Peter’s head? But it couldn’t be. Not when Tony placed a kiss on his eyelids, cold fingers gently rubbing his hipbone. Maybe he was waiting for Peter? The younger boy took a deep breath, trying to talk himself into leaning up and kissing him, when he felt the older boy move. “Come on, we should head back, it’s getting late.”
Well. Some other time, then.
Three weeks had passed since Tony’s fight with Pepper, and Peter was pretty sure that was the longest they had gone without talking to each other, at least since he met them. Their fights always lasted around a week, then they would make up – which usually meant Peter had to find somewhere to be while they had loud, make-up sex for hours. It was annoying and heartbreaking, specially because every single time they broke up, Peter got his hopes up.
That time was different. It was, because it had been way more than a week and Tony was acting more and more like maybe he felt the same way as Peter, and he never once mentioned Pepper, and they hung out together everyday, and they laughed together, and they even helped each other with school work, and everything was just so great, it was going somewhere, at least Peter thought so. Maybe Tony was beginning to realize he was a whole meal, after all, not just a snack, whatever the hell Natasha meant by that.
So he made a decision. There was a party at Delta Pi on Saturday, it would be the perfect opportunity to make something – anything – happen. He bought a new pair of skinny jeans he just knew Tony would love – he had seen him staring at his ass countless times not to know – and he had one nice shirt that would go perfect with it. He would drink a few shots and just – be cool. And flirty. And he’d take the final step, if Tony didn’t.
So when Saturday rolled around, he made an excuse about a paper he had to finish and told Tony to go without him, told him that he would meet him at the party. He took a long shower, washed his hair with the sweetest-smelling shampoo he could find at the drugstore, tamed his curls with so much hair product that they actually stayed put when he brushed them to the side, then put on his cheap cologne and his best clothes.
When he looked in the mirror, he liked what he saw. He looked like someone on Tony’s league, someone who could go on a date with him and look the part, someone who could be seen kissing him, walking by his side hand in hand, someone who could make him happy. The perfect boyfriend. It made him smile, imagining all of that.
“You got this, Parker, come on. You can do this,” he talked to himself in the mirror, taking a deep breath and fixing his hair one last time. “Go get him!”
When he arrived at the party, it was already in full swing. A few drunk seniors laid on the grass outside, vomiting or giggling stupidly, and Peter could hear the noise coming from inside the house. It was really loud and really crowded when he walked in and as he made his way through the masses of people, he kept looking for a familiar face. Nat was the first one he found, and she looked at him with wide eyes and a knowing smirk.
“Someone is looking for trouble tonight,” she shouted over the music as soon as he was close enough to hear her. He grinned, accepting the plastic cup she handed him.
“Not trouble, hopefully.” He downed the contents of the cup and it tasted vile. He had no idea what he’d just drunk, but it was alcohol, and he would need to be at least a little tipsy if he wanted to go through with his plan. “Have you seen him?” He shouted back at her, looking around the living room.
“He’s out back by the pool, go get him, tiger!” She beamed, pushing him in the general direction of the backdoor. He took a little detour and stopped at the kitchen to get a beer, and then another, before he headed to the backyard.
It wasn’t as loud outside, but he could still hear the music playing in the living room. People were talking loudly and laughing, someone had jumped in the pool and was trying to convince others to join them. A few girls were taking their tops off and getting ready to jump in.
“Hey, Parker! Over here!” He heard Thor’s booming voice coming from his left and when he turned, he saw a few people sitting in a circle in pool chairs. He recognized Steve – Tony’s best frenemy, they couldn’t seem to decide if they hated or loved each other –, Bucky, Sam, Thor and Bruce, surprisingly sitting on Thor’s lap. Still, no sign of Tony.
“Hey, what’s up.” He approached them, trying to sound cool and chill, but his eyes were wandering.
“Hey, did you just get here?” Bruce smiled, offering him yet another cup filled with something unrecognizable to Peter. He accepted it anyway.
“Yeah, I was finishing a paper, I just –“
“Pete?” Peter turned around quickly, coming face to face with Tony. The older boy looked gorgeous as always, his hair was a floppy mess and he was wearing his signature ripped jeans and a band t-shirt and he still looked like a fucking wet dream. He was gaping at Peter as if he was seeing him for the first time ever and the younger boy, feeling confident and a little tipsy, puffed his chest out and straightened his back.
“Hey, Tones,” he said somewhat shyly, looking at the older boy from under his lashes – he read somewhere online that it was a good flirting technique.
“Hi, I – are you – are you meeting someone?” Tony shook his head, a little confused, blinking a couple of times, and Peter blushed, chuckling and dropping his gaze – this was supposed to make him look charming and cute.
“Just you.” He stared at the older boy head on, and watched nervously as understanding seemed to dawn on him. A slow smile started forming on his lips, confidence growing as he approached, beer in hand. Tony was only a few inches taller than Peter, but the way he carried himself made it seem like feet.
“Well, you found me, munchkin,” he said when he was close enough that Peter could feel his breath on his face.
“Get a room, you two.” Peter vaguely registered Sam’s voice, but didn’t even acknowledge him. Tony, on the other hand, flipped him off, but his eyes never left Peter.
“Suck a dick, Wilson,” he shouted over Peter’s shoulder, before wrapping an arm around his waist, pulling him away from his circle of friends. “I thought you weren’t coming anymore.” He said as he steered Peter somewhere quieter. They walked to the far back of the house, where they could barely hear the music coming from the inside anymore. There were a few other people scattered around there, mostly drunk or too busy making out to notice them. Peter leaned against a tree trunk and Tony rested a hand on the side of his face.
“Sorry, I really needed to finish that paper.” Tony didn’t need to know that he spent almost two hours showering and shaving, then a whole other hour doing his hair and getting dressed and second guessing his outfit. “Did you miss me?” He asked, cheekily, punching his chest weakly and Tony grabbed his hand, holding it to his heart.
“Always.” He grinned, taking one step closer to the younger boy. Peter braced himself for something – anything – but Tony just stood there, way too fucking close to be casual. “I like what you did with your hair, but I miss the curls. You look really gorgeous tonight.”
“Yeah?” Peter breathed, gathering all the courage he had to whisper the next few words. “Are you gonna do something about it?” Apparently, it was all Tony needed to hear.
The older boy crashed his lips against Peter’s and he went to heaven and back in the course of 0.1 seconds. God knew how many times he’d fantasized about their first kiss – where would it be? How would Tony taste? Would it be soft and tender or rough and wild? – but his wildest fantasies couldn’t compare. It didn’t matter where they were when Tony pressed his body flush against Peter’s and he felt every inch of his chest and hips touching his. He tasted like alcohol and his hands were rough where they pulled Peter closer by the waist, but his lips were gentle as he kissed him deep and slow.
It was nothing like Peter had imagined – but then again, he’d imagined flowers, bells, rain, tuxes and an actual white horse, so maybe his dreams weren’t that realistic – but it was better. Real. Peter had kissed his fair share of boys in high school, but Tony was different, he kissed with his whole body, his hands were restless and roamed all over Peter’s heated skin, his hips moving ever so slightly and he was so out of it that he didn’t have it in him to be embarrassed for being hard – Tony was, too.
“Do you wanna go back to our room?” He whispered against his mouth, nipping his bottom lip, and Peter’s heart went wild. He knew what the other boy was suggesting, and it was another thing he couldn’t stop fantasizing about, but – was he even ready for that? He thought he was, he fucking wanted it so bad, he daydreamed about Tony every single day, all the fucking time, whenever he saw a hint of his bare skin, whenever he was close enough to touch. On the other hand, he’d never done it with anyone – he was suddenly reminded of Wade, his boyfriend from high school who broke up with him because Peter wasn’t ready for sex.
“Yeah,” he whispered, breathless, watching a slow smile forming on Tony’s face before he attacked his lips once again.
“Come on, then.”
They made it back to the dormitories in record time, Peter was so nervous he felt like throwing up – but maybe it had something to do with all the alcohol he drank. When they were finally in their room, with the door closed and locked, and Tony looked at him with dark, hungry eyes, approaching slowly, like a predator, he forgot how to breathe for one whole minute.
The room was so quiet Tony’s steps resonated and filled all the empty space, making Peter shiver in anticipation. They stood in the space between their beds, and when Tony finally reached him, his hands cupped Peter’s face, thumbs brushing his jaw as their lips met again.
“Your place or mine?” He asked playfully, indicating their beds with his chin, and Peter didn’t even hesitate.
The thought of losing his virginity in Tony’s bed, lying in his sheets, smelling his scent, was everything Peter could have hoped for. Sure, he hadn’t thought his first time would happen before he even had his first official date with Tony, but then again, maybe his expectations were a bit unrealistic in the first place – it involved candlelit dinner, a ring and a string quartet with blind musicians, so.
Tony kissed him again, his fingers ventured under Peter’s shirt, touching the skin above the waistband of his jeans softly, brushing his calloused thumbs on his sensitive hipbones. Peter whimpered, wrapping his arms around his neck, and let Tony take the lead as he pushed him carefully towards the bed, until the back of his legs touched the mattress. His heart was beating loudly against his rib cage when he fell backwards and Tony carefully climbed on top of him, his weight pressing him down.
“You did it on purpose, didn’t you?” He asked, breathless, as he placed hot, wet kisses across Peter’s jaw, then down the column of his neck, hungrily. The younger boy thought that had to be the most turned on he had ever been in his life, feeling Tony’s teeth against his jugular. “Dressing like that, getting all dolled up just for me?” Peter gasped when Tony placed a leg between his, pressing his thigh against his already rock-hard cock.
“Y-yeah, yes, just for you,” Peter whimpered, feeling dizzy just from the kissing and Tony’s leg rubbing against him. “Kept waiting for you to make a move, but –“ He gasped when Tony sucked the skin where his neck met his collarbone, surely leaving a bruise behind.
“I was trying to be good.” Tony’s quick fingers ventured under his shirt, his palms dragged up Peter’s torso, the boy’s whole body caught on fire from how warm his hands were. He arched his back, giving Tony room to pull his shirt over his head. “Trying really hard not to ruin my sweet, innocent roommate.” Peter almost cried when he felt Tony’s tongue lapping at one of his oversensitive nipples, sucking it into his mouth carefully, gently, like it was the most precious thing. “You made it really fucking hard, Pete. I’m a weak man.”
“Tony,” he moaned when the older boy licked across his chest until he reached his other nipple, and Peter spread his legs, trying to find a position in which he could get more friction from the other boy’s thigh. He was comfortable with all that, it was nothing different from what he had already done with Wade, it didn’t make him nervous or anxious, just really fucking horny. “Fuck.”
“Shhh.” Tony’s lips traveled back to his mouth as his hands slid down Peter’s sides to the waistband of his jeans. “We’ll get there.” He licked his mouth open once again in another hungry kiss, as his fingers worked on undoing his pants. “These fucking jeans, I swear to fuck.” Tony kept pulling back to whisper whatever came to his mind, which Peter found amusing and endearing. “You’re such a fucking tease.”
When Tony was finally able to undo his jeans, he started dragging them down his legs, as his lips traveled down Peter’s chest and stomach, leaving bruises and wet kisses along the way, until he was wearing nothing but his boxers, and that’s when he started feeling anxious. The older boy’s lips were kissing and sucking the skin just above the waistband of his underwear, so fucking close to Peter’s cock he could practically feel the heat of his breath. His cock was so fucking hard it must be purple, he needed something, anything –
Tony mouthed at his left hipbone as his fingers dug into the flesh of Peter’s thighs and his hips buckled, trying to find some kind of relief. He felt the older boy smirking against his skin before he felt his boxers sliding down his legs slowly, and he only registered that he was completely naked when Tony sat back on his haunches at stared openly at him. He blushed and tried to cover himself, but the older boy grabbed his wrists, pinning them to the bed.
“Don’t you dare hide from me,” he whispered under his breath, his face inches away from Peter’s. “You look fucking gorgeous, Pete,” the younger boy whimpered again, accepting the rough, bruising kiss Tony placed on his lips, before he pulled away, taking his Black Sabath t-shirt off. Peter licked his lips, feeling his cock twitch as he admired Tony’s chest and abs; he had an amazing body, which Peter already knew from seeing him shirtless countless times before, but that was different. It was intimate now, Tony was undressing for him, which had a whole other meaning. The younger boy reached out, hands finally allowed to touch the tanned, heated skin and it felt smooth and firm under his fingertips.
Tony let him have his fun for a few seconds before he attacked his lips once again, one of his hands wrapped around Peter’s cock without warning and he honest to God had to hold himself back to avoid coming way, way too soon. Tony tightened his grasp on his shaft and started pumping at the same slow pace as he was kissing him, his other hand mussing Peter’s curls.
Peter tried to reach down to return the favor, but before he could, Tony slid back down where he was earlier and, again, without warning, licked the lip of Peter’s leaking cock and the boy yelped in surprise, eyes flying open. Wade had only ever given him head once and it wasn’t even that good, but the way Tony swallowed him whole, until he felt the head of his cock hitting the back of his throat was a whole different story.
“Oh, God, Tony, Tony, fuck!” He writhed on the tiny bed, the older boy’s fingers dug into his ass cheeks roughly as his head bobbed faster and faster. Peter’s feet were planted on the mattress, knees bent and hands gripping the sheets tightly, trying to keep still instead of thrusting up into the wet heat of Tony’s mouth.
He was half aware of the boy’s finger making its way into his crack and brushing against his hole, but he tried to relax, concentrating on what his mouth was doing. Tony quickened the pace as said finger pressed harder against his hole, testing, and Peter cursed under his breath, trying to relax his muscles to allow Tony entrance when he finally tried to push inside.
Again, he had to hold back not to come on the spot. He had fingered himself before and he couldn’t deny it was something he enjoyed very much, but just the thought that it was Tony’s finger inside him, Tony’s finger trying to get him ready for what was about to come later, fuck, it was really, really fucking hard to hold back.
“Tony, stop, stop, I can’t – gonna –“ He pushed the boy’s head away from his cock, no matter how badly he wanted him to keep going, otherwise it would all be over before Tony even took off his pants. The older boy got up from the bed, quickly undoing his jeans while he headed towards his messy desk. He searched one of his drawers and retrieved a small tube and a packet from there, before making his way back to the bed. He took off his pants, freeing his erection, and Peter stared, mouth watering.
Tony’s cock was fully hard and leaking, it was bigger than Peter’s own and than what he remembered Wade’s to be, which made him a little nervous. The boy climbed back into bed, between Peter’s spread legs, and kissed him slowly.
Again, Peter was only half aware of his hands shuffling and moving somewhere between his thighs, but soon he felt one wet, cold finger breaching him again, sliding in more easily than before. Tony’s finger was longer and thicker than Peter’s own, it reached deep inside him and curled in an angle that made him see stars.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Peter threw his head back and Tony immediately proceeded to suck bruises on his neck, as a second finger made its way to Peter’s crack. He braced himself on Tony’s shoulders as the second finger slid in, eyes shut and mouth hanging open in a silent moan. When both fingers were inside him and Tony’s knuckles brushed the curve of his ass, Peter tried to relax and open up as the older boy scissored his fingers, trying to stretch him.
“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he grunted, drawing out his fingers and then thrusting them in again, fucking him open, trying to set a pace. Peter felt the tips of his fingers brushing his prostate every now and again and it made him forget the burn of the stretch for a few seconds, at least until Tony pulled his fingers away completely, sitting back on the bed.
Peter watched, mesmerized and nervous, as Tony opened the condom packet with his teeth, then proceeded to roll it on his cock, giving it a few pumps once it was on. He spread more lube over the already slick condom and Peter almost drooled, watching such a pornographic scene. He positioned himself back between Peter’s legs and the younger man’s breath hitched. He closed his eyes and grasped Tony’s waist, it gave him a sense of control when the older boy held himself with one hand, guiding his shaft to Peter’s entrance.
Peter let out a painful cry when the tip of Tony’s cock finally breached him, after a bit of a struggle. The older boy stopped immediately, leaning down to kiss his lips apologetically.
“Sorry, I haven’t been with a guy in a while, didn’t mean to hurt you, sorry,” he peppered kisses on his cheeks and the younger boy shook his head, trying to to put on a brave face.
“It’s fine – just – just go slow, please,” he whispered back, holding Tony’s jaw in his hands, pulling him in for a kiss to distract him. Tony held his hips down as he kissed him back, slowly pushing himself more and more inside Peter. It burned like a motherfucker, but it wasn’t an unbearable pain, like he imagined he would feel.
Tony took his cock in one of his hands, the pleasure mixing with the pain, until the older boy’s hipbones were flush against the back of his thighs, cock fully sheathed in Peter’s hole, arms caging him into the tiny bed and his weight pushing him down into the mattress. Peter felt so fucking full and trapped and crushed, and it felt fucking amazing. He wanted to feel like that all the fucking time, crushed under Tony’s body, trapped by his arms and full of his cock.
The older boy stopped for a few minutes, peppering apologetic kisses on his face, and Peter really appreciated it, it gave him time to take a deep breath and get used to the intrusion. He wrapped his legs around his waist a minute later, pulling him closer, and Tony got the message.
The older boy kissed him deeply as he started thrusting into him; slowly at first, then picking up the face as Peter relaxed, his body opening up more easily. It was a weird feeling at first, it burned and hurt a little, but it felt mostly weird. Peter wasn’t sure how he felt about it until Tony brushed something inside him and it made him see fucking stars.
“Oh, my God, Tony!” His eyes widened as he gripped the other boy’s shoulders. He stopped immediately, startled, but Peter pushed against him, desperately. “No, no, keep going, don’t stop, please, right there, right there!” He was aware he was babbling and that he sounded like a slut, but he couldn’t really care, not when Tony buried himself deeper into him and started fucking him with abandon, his mouth leaving bruises on his throat, fingers digging into his ass. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Peter couldn’t even think straight, never knew sex could feel that good, he felt so fucking overwhelmed and – fuck –“I’m gonna – Tony, I’m--”
Tony swallowed his words in a bruising kiss as Peter went fucking blind with pleasure, coming so hard he was afraid he would pass out after. Tony fucked him through it, licking inside his mouth, grunting, thrusts becoming erratic and sloppy until he groaned loudly, buried deep inside Peter’s heat. He collapsed on top of the younger boy’s smaller body, but quickly rolled off, mindful of his weight. He seemed to gather the last of his energy to pull him to his chest, before essentially passing out, followed closely by a blissed out Peter.
When Peter woke up the next day, he was lying in Tony’s tiny bed, with his head resting on his chest and the older boy’s arms wrapped protectively around his waist. He smiled to himself, feeling silly and happy, even if a little sore. He lied awake for almost two hours, basking in the morning sunlight coming through the window before Tony started to stir. He seemed a little confused when he blinked his eyes open and saw Peter there, but then a smile spread across his lips and he placed a kiss on the younger boy’s head.
“Morning, munchkin.” His voice was raspy and rough, but his fingers rubbed his back softly.
“I think it’s afternoon, actually,” Peter replied, cheekily, and Tony just smiled, tugging his hair a little, before placing a soft, chaste kiss on his lips.
Peter was unsure about what was going to happen from then on, but in the end, he didn’t have to worry, he just followed Tony’s lead. Behind the closed door of their dorm room, it felt like their own little world, where nothing could touch them. Peter rushed back everyday, eager to meet the older boy, and he was never disappointed by the reception. Tony always greeted him with a slow, deep kiss and an “I missed you” whispered into the top of his head. He was caring, attentive and so, so sweet. They never slept in separate beds, he woke Peter up with soft kisses on the back of his neck and he always made sure he was well fed and well rested.
And the sex – Peter couldn’t get over how amazing it was and how much better it got each day, specially after Tony found out he had inadvertently taken Peter’s virginity that fateful night. It was two days after the party and Peter was still feeling a bit sore when they were making out in his bed that night. He felt one of Tony’s fingers sliding towards his crack and he tensed a little, bracing himself for the burn that would follow if Tony tried to push inside.
“Hey, are you okay?” He whispered against his lips, frowning. “Don’t you wanna do this?”
“No, I do, I do, sorry, I’m just – I’m still a little sore from Saturday?” He answered sheepishly and Tony’s eyes widened a bit, as he pulled away to take a better look at Peter.
“Still? Fuck, Pete, did I hurt you?” He tried to sit up, but Peter held him by the shoulders, keeping him in bed.
“It’s okay, I looked it up, it’s normal.” He tried to calm the older boy, but he still looked alarmed.
“It’s not normal, it’s been two days, you shouldn’t still be feeling sore.” He retorted, trying to sit up again, so Peter let him, then sat by his side.
“I’m just not used to it, I –“ He took a deep breath, watching the confusion growing on the older boy’s face. “It was my first time.” He finally admitted, feeling his cheeks burning hot as he tried to avoid the Tony’s gaze.
“First time? First time doing what?” He asked, confused, and Peter just remained silent until he heard him gasp in surprise. “Your first time bottoming?”
“Uhm. Yeah. Just first time in general, I guess?” Peter turned to look at him and he would have laughed at Tony’s stunned face if he wasn’t so nervous he could cry.
“Peter, what the fuck!” He threw his arms up in exasperation and the younger boy dropped his gaze, embarrassment, shame and regret mixing in the pit of his stomach.
“It’s not a big deal,” he mumbled, pulling the sheets to cover his naked body. He felt way too vulnerable and exposed as it was.
“It’s kind of a big deal to me!”
“Please, don’t be mad, I didn’t want to say anything because I thought –“ He shut up when he felt Tony’s hand under his chin, forcing him to face him. He still looked a little agitated, but he took a deep breath and cupped Peter’s face with his hands.
“Babe, sorry, I didn’t mean to yell, I’m not mad, I just – I wish you had told me. I wouldn’t have been so forward if I knew, I just assumed – you always talked about your ex, Wade? Weren’t you together for like, two years or something?” Tony frowned, genuinely confused, and Peter licked his lips nervously, nodding his head.
“Yeah, almost.” He looked into Tony’s brown eyes and the older boy narrowed them.
“And you never…?”
“Uhm, we just fooled around, you know. Hand jobs and blow jobs in his car. I was really young, like, I was sixteen when he left for college. And I don’t know, it just never felt right.” Peter shrugged and Tony kept looking at him as if he had given birth to a three headed spider.
“And it felt right with me? God, Pete, did you feel pressured or something? I swear, I never woul –”
“Tony, relax, it felt right, more than right, ok? It was perfect.” It was his time to hold the older boy by his jaw, forcing him to face him. He smiled sweetly at him. “I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t feel it was right. Ok?” Tony looked like he was about to argue, but he swallowed his words and sighed, staring back at Peter intently, before covering his hands with his own. He closed the distance between them and kissed him gently.
“I really wish you would have told me,” he whispered against Peter’s lips, pulling away just enough for their eyes to meet.
“Yeah? What would you have done differently?” Peter smirked, arching one brow, and Tony gave him his trademark, lopsided grin.
“I created a monster.”
It all happened inside their room. Outside, it was as if nothing had changed. They still went to classes and met their friends whenever they could, everybody still seemed to think they were just friends, only Natasha gave him a knowing look when they met for the first time after the party. Peter figured it was sensible, not to tell people yet. Tony had just broken up with Pepper and they were just starting to see each other romantically, they didn’t need other people meddling in their business and making it more complicated.
They had two quiet, peaceful weeks together. Like Peter imagined, they didn’t fight, they respected each other’s time and space, he could sense when Tony needed to be alone and when he needed to cuddle. They spent a lot of time together, but there were no hard feelings if either of them wanted some time apart.
They were having a lazy Sunday morning in bed, kissing slowly as they got down from the high of good morning sex, making plans about their road trip back home in just a couple of weeks. Tony planned all these detours that would get them to New York in three days instead of four hours and Peter really wanted to see May as soon as possible, but he also wanted to be there for Tony, so he just agreed to the crazy itinerary.
Things started heating up again when lazy kisses turned into heated ones, and hands roamed freely underneath the sheets. Peter rolled on top of Tony, straddling his hips, he was still loose from their lovemaking earlier, so he took Tony’s cock in his hand and guided it directly towards his entrance without any prep.
And then, there was a loud knock on the door.
“Tony, open up.” Tony practically threw Peter to the floor when he heard Pepper’s voice. The younger boy was able to avoid falling on his butt by cushioning the fall with his hands, but it sent a sharp pain up his left wrist. “What’s all this noise? Is anyone there with you?”
“Uhm, hold on! It’s just Peter – he’s, uh, changing. Wait a second!” Tony stared at Peter with pleading eyes as he helped him to his feet, but the younger boy was having none of it, he shoved Tony away with one hand, cradling the other close to his chest.
“I can’t fucking believe you,” he whispered, as he looked around for his underwear, feeling hurt by how frantic Tony looked just from hearing Pepper’s voice. He opened the window, probably hoping the smell of sex wouldn’t be too strong, and quickly started to get dressed. Once they were both presentable, Peter sat at his desk and Tony yanked the door open.
“Hey, Pep,” he greeted, leaning against the doorway and Peter scoffed behind him. “What are you doing here?”
“I just, I was – I need to talk to you. Can I come in?” She asked, peeking inside the room, acknowledging Peter’s presence for the first time then. “Hey, Pete. Could you give us a minute, please?”
The younger man looked from Tony to Pepper to Tony again. He expected the older boy to tell him to stay, to say they should all have that conversation together, because he was with Peter now, but Tony just shot him a pleading look and the boy sighed, nodding at Pepper.
“Yeah, sure, I gotta – I’m going,” he gave her a strained smile, as he got up from the chair and brushed past Tony without looking at his face.
As soon as he walked out, Pepper closed the door behind him, and he really, really meant to go somewhere, he even walked a few feet towards the exit, but then went back. What if Tony called him? What if he was gonna tell Pepper, and then he needed him for that conversation? For whatever reason, he sat with his back to the wall, across from their room.
He couldn’t hear them, they weren’t shouting, he wasn’t sure if it was a good or a bad sign, but he preferred not to guess. He just sat there for almost two hours until Pepper emerged, Tony right behind her. Peter got to his feet, getting ready to apologize to Pepper and maybe try to explain things, like how nothing happened while she was still with Tony, so she wasn’t cheated on or anything.
He froze on the spot, though, when she turned around and pecked Tony on the lips and left with a casual wave in his direction, leaving the older boy staring at him from across the hall. Peter remained silent, confused by what he had just seen – maybe he had misunderstood what happened, maybe it was just a friendly goodbye?
“Pete.” Tony drew in a breath, like he was about to say something, but then just fell silent.
“What?” He asked, aware that he sounded a little desperate, a little breathless, but he couldn’t help it, his mind was running wild. “What, Tony?” He insisted when the older boy didn’t say anything. He leaned on the doorway, rubbing his face, looking for words – looking for the right words to let him down easy, Peter realized. “Say it. Just say it.”
“That’s why I didn’t want to–“ he started, but Peter cut him off.
“Don’t be a fucking coward, don’t you dare make excuses, just fucking say it!” He took the few steps that separated them to stand right before Tony and the older boy couldn’t avoid looking at him. He looked devastated and lost, like he didn’t want to say the words that came next, but he did it anyway.
“I’m back with Pepper.” Peter felt like he had been punched in the stomach, he felt breathless and like he was about to throw up. He crossed his arms over his chest, like he could hold himself together to prevent falling apart, but couldn’t help the fat tears that rolled down his cheeks.
“And you’re done with me,” he whispered, taking a few steps back. Tony didn’t follow.
“It’s not like that.” He dropped his gaze, sticking his hands in his pockets.
“What is it like, then, Tony?” He insisted, and he knew he was making a scene, he knew he was drawing it out way longer than Tony probably wanted, but if nothing else, he deserved that. Closure. Answers. “What, nothing? Not even a ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech?’ I’ll take anything, come on.” Predictably, Tony remained silent, eyes cast down. “Did you even tell her about us? Or was I not worth mentioning?”
“I never meant to get you in the middle of this, Pete, which is why I tried so hard not to do anything about – about this uncontrollable pull you have over me, I never meant to hurt you.” He pleaded and there was honesty in his face, in his voice, but still Peter couldn’t believe a word he said.
“Then why are you?”
There was no answer for several minutes, no chase as he walked away.
Pepper said sorry, which was new. Usually, whenever they fought, it was always Tony going after her making promises and asking for forgiveness, not the other way around – which was why he honestly, sincerely, genuinely thought they were done for good that time around, because he really had no intention of calling her. He did not count on her coming after him, crying and saying she was in the wrong.
He looked at her that day and he still thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He still thought she was the most brilliant person he had ever met, the best friend he had ever had, but – something was off. Different. He listened to her talk about how they could change together, how they could be better for each other, and he wanted that for them – for years, and years, and years, he was so sure they would be together forever, Pepper was it for him, but as he heard her speak about the future, his mind wandered.
He tuned her out as he thought about Peter’s eyes. Not sharp, blue eyes – soft, honey-like brown eyes, paired with an equally soft, boyish smile; pretty, pink lips; blushing, freckled cheeks. He thought about his hair. Not straight, impeccable hair – crazy, wild curls that touched the tip of his ears and the nape of his neck when they were tamed, and pointed in every direction on any given morning. As Pepper made plans about their future, he thought about the past few weeks. Getting used to the smell of Peter’s skin on his sheets, to the sight of him walking around in his clothes, to the sound of his giggles when Tony said something stupid.
And then he looked at Pepper. The love of his life. Right? The woman he was supposed be with, the girl who stood by his side through all of his teenage years, through thick and thin, who opened her window for him and let him find refuge in her arms when everywhere else felt suffocating. He remembered what being completely and utterly in love with her felt like. All-consuming and blinding – wasn’t that how love was supposed to be? He wasn’t sure anymore, it wasn’t how he felt about her in a long time, but Peter –
Peter, with his annoyingly cute nose and chirpy, high pitched voice. Tony remembered meeting him for the first time and thinking about all the things he’d do to him if wasn’t with Pepper. He remembered feeling tempted all the fucking time, tempted to reach out and touch him, feel him, fucking smother him with kisses and then pound him into the mattress. But he couldn’t do anything. He saw the way the boy looked at him, it wasn’t just lust for him, he could tell. He knew that look and he couldn’t give him what he wanted.
Until he did. And it felt good and right, but –
But there was Pepper, looking expectantly at him with tears in her eyes, waiting for an answer. And what else could he say to her?
“Of course, love. I’m sorry for what I said, too. I love you.”
Coming out of that room and facing Peter was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life. He saw the exact moment when it dawned on him that Tony was leaving him, and it broke his heart. He wanted to reach out and hold him, console him, but he knew he wouldn’t be welcome, so he just stood there, kept his distance, not knowing what to say to make it better.
Peter was avoiding him. Had been for a week. He left the room early in the morning and only came back late at night, never saying a word to him. Their friends noticed, but they stopped asking when Tony snapped at Bruce, telling him it was none of his goddamned business. Natasha kicked him in the balls two days after he broke up with Peter – was it weird that he was relieved to feel pain? He felt like he finally got what he deserved, even though he couldn’t walk for hours after that.
They were only a week away from the summer break and Tony had hope that maybe a few months apart would be enough to heal some of the wounds. But he just couldn’t help thinking about the summer they wouldn’t have, the road trip they wouldn’t take, the snuggles he wouldn’t get in Peter’s tiny bed in Queens.
Now, more than ever, he dreaded going home.
“Holy fuck, is that Parker?” Someone shouted over the music, the person sounded drunk and amused, the mention of Peter’s name had Tony turning away from the beer-pong match to search the crowd for the familiar face. The party was in full swing, loud and annoying pop music was playing in the background, the lights were off and the only thing illuminating the rooms were the street lights coming in through the open windows and the red lights scattered around the frat house. Tony looked in the general direction of the living room and almost fell on his butt in surprise when he saw that scene.
World class asshole Quentin Beck sat on the couch with a lap full of a clearly drunk Peter, the boy was kissing him sloppily and grinding against him like there was no tomorrow, and Beck kept smirking and running his filthy paws all over his thighs and hips, until finally they grabbed Peter’s ass cheeks and squeezed, pulling him closer.
People were howling and cat-calling, at least two assholes – Flash and Osborne – were filming the whole thing with their phones, Peter seemed completely unaware of what was going on all around him – he’d be mortified if he was sober, he was so shy, he hated drawing attention to himself, he’d never do any of that in front of so many people. So of course Tony had to intervene, no matter how mad the younger boy was at him.
“Get your hands off of him!” He shouted, grabbing Peter by the arm and yanking him away from Beck. For at least ten seconds, everything went silent except for the music, everyone went quiet, watching the scene, as Beck’s face went from confused to pissed off. Before he could say anything, though, Peter beat him to the punch.
“Get your hands off of me, Tony! What do you think you’re doing!?” He yelled, trying to free his thin wrist from his strong grip, but the older boy didn’t let him go. He couldn’t. He couldn’t let Peter go back to that – that disgusting excuse of a man’s arms. He deserved better.
“Shut up, you’re drunk, you’ll thank me tomorrow.” He barely spared him a glance, still holding his wrist tight, then he turned to Beck. “And you stay away from him, you piece of shit.”
“Who the fuck do you think you are, Stark? You’re not his dad, if he wants to ride my dick right here in front of everybody, what is it to you?” He got up from the couch and got all up in Tony’s face, which would be more than enough to make him lose his shit on any given day, but the way he talked about Peter only served to fuel his rage.
He didn’t even think, he pulled his arm back the punched his nose with all of his weight, sending him right back to the couch, blood gushing down his face.
“Motherfucker!” Then all hell broke loose.
Tony wasn’t sure about the particulars of what happened, it happened so fucking fast, one minute he was staring at Beck’s bloody face, the next he was being punched in the gut by one of his friends – Osborne, maybe – as someone held him from behind. Rodhey came to his rescue, pushing the guy who was punching him, then Steve and Bucky showed up to help, Beck got up from the couch and they all started throwing punches and kicks and he was pretty sure he ended up kicking Rogers in the face at some point, but –
“Stop! Fucking stop! What the fuck are you doing!?” Peter got in between him and Beck, pushing both of their chests, and Tony stopped immediately, afraid to hurt him, but Beck didn’t even care, landing a blow on his eye and Peter fell backwards right into Bucky’s arms. Tony was sure he was unconscious, the force of the impact mixed with his drunken state were enough to make him lose conscience. He turned back to Beck even more pissed.
“You’re a dead man, you motherfucker!”
Again, he had no idea how long the whole thing lasted, he was way too pissed and way too drunk to keep track, but at some point they were all kicked out of the house. Beck and his goons scurried away, and Tony kept shouting that next time he saw them he’d fucking murder them.
“Tony, stop, Peter is hurt, we have to take him back to the dorms.” Steve looked worried and Tony quickly turned to look at Bucky, who still had Peter in his arms. He was out could, his damp curls covered his forehead and part of his eyebrows, but he could see a purple bruise forming and swelling on his right eye.
“Fuck, is he okay? Should he be sleeping? Should we take him to the hospital?” He was sure he sounded frantic and desperate, but Rhodey just rolled his eyes.
“He’s fine, Tony, it was just a punch, despite what you believe, Peter is not a delicate flower, he will survive. Come on, he just needs to sleep it off. He’s gonna feel like shit in the morning, though.” Rhodey gestured towards Tony’s sports car and Bucky and Steve headed in that direction with Peter. Before Tony could follow, though, Rhodey held him back. “Tony, what the fuck was that, man?”
“What do you mean? Did you not see what that idiot was doing to Peter?” He looked at his best friend as if he had grown a second head.
“He seemed to be enjoying it just fine, Tony, why the hell did you get in the middle of that?” He was trying to keep it down, but he was clearly agitated.
“He wasn’t enjoying it! He wasn’t – he wouldn’t – he was too fucking drunk to consent! And – and they were mocking him! Filming him, making jokes, and – and –” Tony wasn’t unreasonable, he did the right thing, he would have done it again, no matter what Rhodey said.
“Okay, okay, you don’t need to convince me what you did was completely okay, I’m surprisingly used to your shit, but you will have to convince Pepper and Peter that this shit you pulled wasn’t absolutely ridiculous and uncalled for.” He stabbed a finger in his chest and walked away towards Tony’s car, as the other teen ran his hands through his hair, huffing.
It was way past noon when Peter woke up the next day and Tony winced just to watch him try to open his eyes. He had made sure that the drapes were closed so the room was mostly dark, but Peter’s left eye was swollen shut, his head was most certainly killing him. Tony got up from his bed, grabbed the Advil and the glass of water he’d set aside for the younger man and rushed to his side.
“Hey, Pete, how’s the head?” He whispered, sitting beside him on his bed. The night before, by the time they managed to get back to the dorms, Peter was awake again. He reluctantly let Tony give him a shower to sober up some, but refused vehemently when the offered to sleep in his bed in case he needed anything during the night. They didn’t have a chance to talk, though. They hadn’t talked in over a week, actually.
“I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck,” he muttered, deciding not to open his eyes after all.
“Here, take some Advil.” Tony helped him raise his head a little and placed the pill on his tongue, washing it down with a little of water. Peter rested back against the pillow and fell silent again, the older boy wasn’t sure if he’d fallen back asleep. He watched the angelic face for a minute, the same rage that filled him the day before burned inside him again as he observed the horrible bruise marring his face. He was gonna kill Beck, sure, but he couldn’t help feeling guilty. “How much do you remember about yesterday?” He whispered, in case Peter was sleeping, but the younger man opened his good eye and stared at Tony.
“Everything,” he answered, just as quietly as Tony had spoken. The older boy dropped his gaze, gulping, thinking about new ways to apologize to Peter, it seemed these days he was always trying to apologize and trying to make things better between them. “Why did you do that, Tony?”
“Didn’t you hear the way he talked about you?” Tony frowned, Peter couldn’t be serious.
“I did, and I’m a big boy, I can handle myself, I don’t need you to throw punches to protect my honor,” he whispered, rubbing at his forehead, and Tony was reminded not to raise his voice.
“He was taking advantage of you,” he argued, watching Peter narrow his good eye.
“Did you want to sleep with him?” His voice came out higher and louder than he meant, which made Peter wince.
“Yes, I did,” he answered, staring straight at Tony.
“Okay, fine, then, do what you will.” He got up from Peter’s bed and started pacing the floor, Peter couldn’t be fucking serious, he couldn’t – he was a virgin just a few weeks earlier, now, what, he was willing to fuck any brainless dick who came on to him?
“Yeah, I fucking will, I don’t need your permission, asshole,” he actually raised his voice a little and, fuck, Tony had no fucking right to fucking – Peter wasn’t his.
“Fine, whatever, see if I care.” He stalked to the door, slamming it loudly on his way out.
Pepper didn’t want to drive home, let alone make a road trip out of it, she wanted to be in New York as soon as possible, so she bought a plane ticked for an early fight on the first day of summer break and Tony woke at ass o’clock in the morning to drive her to the airport.
As he got dressed, he watched Peter sleep. He didn’t hear him come in the night before, he hadn’t seen him in a few days, but somehow he was all packed up to go home. Tony begged Natasha to tell him his plans and she reluctantly told him that he would take the 11AM bus back to New York.
He felt like an asshole, couldn’t stop thinking about their last conversation, how he managed to hurt the younger boy even more, he didn’t even think it was possible. He wanted to apologize, but every time he approached him, he walked away, pretended he didn’t even see him. His eye had healed some, it was still blue-ish, but at least it wasn’t swollen anymore.
That morning, the first day of summer break, the day they were supposed to leave for their road trip, he slept peacefully and Tony envied him. He hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in weeks.
He finished getting dressed then went to pick Pepper up. He helped her put her bags in the truck and started driving, as she talked about all she had planned for the summer. Family dinners with the Potts, family dinners with the Starks, galas – for networking purposes, according to her –, a weekend at her parents’ house in the Hamptons and few parties with their old friends from school – Rhodey was coming, too.
Somehow, he wasn’t looking forward to any of that, not even a little bit. He kept thinking how he’d rather spend his days in a tiny bed in Queens, cuddling, eating pizza, building Legos and laughing at nothing in particular.
“Tony, are you listening to me?” When he turned to look at Pepper, he realized they had arrived at the airport, his car was parked and he had been staring into nothing for a few seconds. “I said give me a call when you get home, okay?” She was looking at him a little worriedly, a frown on her forehead, and he didn’t want to call her when he arrived, he didn’t even want to go home, not without Peter.
“I think I don’t love you anymore.” He told her, bluntly, then felt like an asshole when she pulled back like she’d been punched in the face. “I’m so sorry.”
“You think so or you know so?” She asked, and she didn’t look surprised, just – disappointed. Exhausted.
“I know so,” he whispered, watching her sigh as she stared out the windshield. He hated that lately he seemed to be breaking the hearts of everyone he loved. His life was a mess, he was a mess, and no matter how hard he tried to do the right thing, he always seemed to get it wrong.
“I guess I’ve known that for a while. Just didn’t want to believe it was true.” Her face was dry and her voice was steady, but he’d known her for way too long to be be fooled.
“Me neither.” He whispered, gripping the wheel and looking at his lap. It was silent for several minutes, he didn’t know what to say to her, everything sounded wrong and patronizing in his head.
“I have a plane to catch,” she finally said, opening the door, and without thinking, Tony’s hand flew to hold her arm.
“Can we talk? Later?” He pleaded, fucking terrified that her answer would be no. They were friends for so long, he couldn’t bear the thought of not having her in his life. She gave him a sweet, small smile, though.
“Yeah, sure.” Pepper made to get out of the car again, but the older boy stopped her one more time.
“Yeah?” She turned to look at him and he took a deep breath.
“I do love you, you know that right? Just –“
“Yeah, I know. Me too.”
Tony drove back like a madman, heart pounding, thinking of the things he needed to say to Peter, the right words to mend the things that were broken. When he got to their room, though, at around 9AM, it was empty, Peter was nowhere to be found. In his panic, he didn’t even notice that his bags were still by the bed, he thought he’d left already, left without him. He ran his hands through his hair and turned around, ready rush outside and look for Natasha and beg her to tell him where Peter had gone, maybe could still reach him, but when he did, he saw the younger boy standing in the doorway.
“Pete,” he cried in relief, but the brunette was still giving him the cold shoulder, so he didn’t say anything, just headed towards his desk and started gathering some books. “I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.”
“You’ve said that already.” He didn’t even turn to look at Tony, so the older boy walked closer to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“I fucked up.” His hand slid down Peter’s lean, toned bicep, tugging it softly to turn him around. He did, albeit reluctantly.
“Tell me something new.” When he finally looked at Tony, he pretended to be bored, but the older boy could see in his eyes that he was curious.
“I shouldn’t have left you. I made a mistake, I thought –“ Before Tony could go on, Peter started laughing incredulously, eyes wide.
“What, has Pepper dumped you already?! I thought you guys had three months long cycles, at least, this is a new record.” He shook his head, turning back to his desk. “I’m not playing your game anymore, go find somebody else to string along.”
“I don’t want anybody else.” Tony grabbed him again, trying to get him to turn, but Peter yanked his arm away.
“Tough luck, then. I gotta go.” He ignored the rest of the things on the desk and hurried to his bags by the bed.
“Peter, please. I made a mistake.” Tony placed himself in front of the bags with his hands up, trying to buy some more time, and Peter huffed impatiently.
“What happens when you wake up tomorrow and realize I’m the mistake?” He crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at the older boy. “I trusted you, I gave you everything and you took it for granted, you just fucking up and left when Pepper snapped her fingers. Seriously, Tony, do you even know what you’re asking me?”
“That’s not – I’m – Pete, come on. I’m only asking for a second chance. That’s all.” He begged, trying to hold the younger boy’s hands, but he stepped away. Peter was fucking right and if he had any sense of self respect, he would not get back together with Tony, but fuck, he had to try. He had to try, because Peter was right, he was fucking right for him.
“And I’m saying no, Tony. I don’t trust you not to hurt me again.” He shook his head, arms firmly crossed over his chest.
“That’s not what I’m asking.” Tony insisted, trying to get closer to the younger boy, but every step he took forward, Peter took a step back.
“Then what are you asking?” He tilted his head to the side, mouth set in a straight line, and Tony sighed, running his hands through his hair almost desperately. What the fuck was he asking?
“I’m asking you to let me drive you home.” He blurted out, still trying to approach Peter, and he was finally successful when he got trapped between Tony and his desk.
“And then what?” He raised his chin, defiantly, and Tony dared to touch the side of his face gently. Peter didn’t pull away, but he didn’t lean into the touch either.
“And then let me show you that I’m serious about you, that despite the fact that I’m a fucking mess and nothing in my life makes sense or feels right, you do. You do, you fall into place and fit all the empty spaces and you make me feel whole and less of a train wreck. I know I fucked up and I hurt you and I broke the trust you placed in me, and I’m not asking for you to forget what I did and go right back to where we were, I’m just asking for a second chance to start over. I promise I’m not gonna need a third, I fucking swear. Please. Please. Let me drive you home.”
Tony knew he sounded desperate, and that was because he was. That was the most open he had even been about his feelings and he suddenly remembered Pepper’s words from their last fight. “You’re gonna end up alone, Tony, I mean it. If you don’t learn how to let others in, you’ll be lonely and bitter, and it’s gonna be all your own damn fault!” Tony didn’t want to be alone. And he didn’t want to swallow his feelings anymore. He just needed Peter to see that he was willing to try, that he wanted to change.
The younger man looked at him with wide eyes, apparently surprised by Tony’s honesty and the amount of words he had vomited. He bit his bottom lip and averted his gaze. Tony dropped his hand from his face and took a few steps back, sensing his answer, and maybe Peter was doing the right thing for himself, nobody deserved to be caught in the middle of Tony’s fucking mess, no one should have to deal with –
“I get to drive your car at least two hours a day.” The boy muttered, raising his eyes to meet his gaze again, and Tony’s heart raced.
“Yes, of course, as many hours as you want.” He nodded several times, not sure what exactly he was agreeing to.
“We’ll get separate beds at each motel we stop. No funny business until I say so.” Tony thought he might throw up from excitement, he kept nodding like a moron, as he stepped closer, but Peter kept a straight face, although there was a slight, barely there tilt to his lips.
“Obviously, yeah. Sure.” Tony stopped right before the younger boy and he leaned his head back a little to look him in the eyes.
“If you’re staying over with me back home, you’ll have to sleep on the floor, no snuggling in my bed.” He poked his chest with a finger and Tony’s face fell.
“But I –“
“Yes, sir, whatever you want, yes. I’ll sleep on the floor.” He quickly agreed, trying not to push his luck, and that seemed to appease the younger boy, who gave him a satisfied nod. Tony just stood there, right in front of him, and so fucking close he could almost taste his sweet skin on his lips. “Is that all?”
“If you break my heart again, I’m sicking Nat on you.” Again, he poked a finger in his chest and Tony readily grabbed his skinny hand, holding it to his heart.
“Deal, I promise you won’t have to do that, I won’t disappoint you.” He stared right into Peter’s eyes and tried to make him see how much he meant every word. “Can I kiss you now?”
Peter looked at him for a few seconds, before leaning up to kiss him. Tony eagerly closed his eyes, hands falling to his waist to hold him close, when he felt those soft, thin lips touching his cheek, just to the side of his anxious mouth.
“Ask me again in a couple of days.” When Tony opened his eyes again, Peter was grinning as he pulled away and, yeah, Tony could wait his whole fucking life to kiss him again. “C’mon, let’s go, you did promise to take me home.”
As he watched the younger boy gathering his stuff to leave, his heart was filled with a weird feeling, something he wasn’t used too. It took him a while to realize he was happy and fucking excited to go with him. For the first time ever, he didn’t dread going home.
“It’s not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you"
(Maroon 5 – Won’t go home without you)