Merlin knew that marrying Arthur Pendragon is not always of butterflies and daisies. But the sex part of it, oh yes he knew he definitely married a sex god.
It's been a year since he tied himself up with this prat and so far they still never had a serious argument. Well minus the endless bickering and calling each other names for old times' sake. It really is the foundation of their relationship in the first place. That's true and all. Until now.
It was just a lazy Saturday morning after a lazy Saturday morning sex and enjoying the weekend by themselves when his prat of a husband suddenly decided to talk about the thing he's been trying to avoid for a year. Seriously, it did not come to his mind Arthur has been considering it all this time. It is the dreaded baby talk.
"Merlin, I want a kid. I want little Arthurs and Merlins running around the house."
Merlin automatically jolted away from their spooning and seated right up looking for his pajamas which was again roughly discarded by his clotpole of a husband earlier.
"Are you serious? Are we really talking about this right now?" Merlin hurriedly put his daisy patterned pajamas back and he was suddenly in need to go to the bathroom for a barf. Seriously, he was taken aback with Arthur's let's be daddies now talk early this morning.
Okay you might be wondering or even judging Merlin by now that he was just overreacting. Isn't it natural for a married couple to start planning for kids and actually start their own family? Yes of course. But for Merlin, he knew from his centuries worth of experience he would never be a good parent. Of what happened with Aithusa. The guilt of the wayward dragon still haunts him. And Arthur was still completely oblivious of the past and destiny they share. To be honest, Merlin would like to keep it that way. It would be difficult to make Arthur understand why he doesn't want the idea of having kids at all.
So Merlin sworn to himself that he'll never have kids of his own. And to have kids with Arthur? Definitely not. He doesn't want to fail the little Merlins and Arthurs. The huge responsibility he had as dragonlord was enough already. Being a father, being a parent to a human , Merlin could not just see it in him.
Arthur scrunched his nose totally unexpecting Merlin's dismissing reaction about the matter.
"Why, darling? We've been married for a year! I think it's just about time we pack this house up," Arthur slid his arms on Merlin and tried to coax him back to bed. He kissed the back of Merlin's neck which he knew send shivers to Merlin's spine.
And it worked indeed. Merlin faced him the trace of annoyance still evident but Arthur noticed that there were also tears in his eyes.
"You still stench of sex, Arthur. And the baby talk comes out in your mouth."
"Why? Isn't it what they do? Couples have sex to have babies?", Arthur laughed and teased Merlin which in return of course earned him a horseplay smack on his abs.
"Well I don't know, Arthur. If you haven't noticed we are both men in this marriage and none of us could conceive a child through sex."
"I don't know either, Merlin! Ever heard of the word adoption? I'm definitely pertaining about adoption. We could raise one or two or even more like they truly are our own."
It pains Merlin, really. He knew Arthur would be an amazing father. Even before. If only Arthur and Gwen had been given the chance to have kids on their own. No doubt they would be the best parents of the future of Camelot.
"Sorry, Arthur. I just—" Merlin took a deep breath. The past and present were overlapping once again and all the memories and baby talks were overwhelming him.
"You know I love you, right? I'm just not prepared to be a parent. I honestly do not see myself as a father, Arthur. I don't know if I have that in me," tears completely rolled down on Merlin's cheeks and Arthur was quick to wipe them.
"Okay, darling. Okay," Arthur gently kissed Merlin on the cheeks and brushed Merlin's hair away from his eyes. He cupped his face and said, "I believe you will be an amazing father, Merlin. But if you're still not ready to take this big step in our marriage, I understand. And I know you love me and you know I love you too, idiot . So I respect your decision right now."
"Sorry, Arthur. I want to make you happy, I really do."
"Don't be sorry, love. And don't be an idiot . You putting up with me for 10 years and finally tying the knot with me? You made me the happiest man alive."
"You're so cheesy sometimes you know that, right?" Merlin laughed and buried his face on Arthur's neck. For more than ten years this clotpole still makes him blush and feel giddy all over. Gods he love this man so much.
"And you love me for it! Now, now. I would like to make you some breakfast. We've been lazing around enough already," Arthur gave Merlin a last kiss on the forehead and went on search for his robes.
"What do you want for breakfast, by the way?"
"Uhm, some eggs and sausages would be good."
Arthur chuckled, "Didn't you just had that early this morning?"
"Shut up, Arthur!"
A flying pillow passed above Arthur's head before he lightheartedly left the bedroom.
Merlin was contentedly eating his sausages and eggs when the words suddenly came out of Arthur, again .
"What about a dog, Merlin?", Arthur asked him carefully and softly this time. "A pet would be better for now, don't you think?"
I think my dogs catch better than you, Merlin. Possibly because you treat them better.
Merlin could not stop himself and guffawed because of the memory. He did not admit it of course, but walking Arthur's dogs before was one of his favorite works as His Royal Pratness' manservant. He even made nicknames for each dog and Arthur would have definitely killed him if he knew how soft they were for his hunting dogs.
But it was obvious the mutts loved Merlin more compared to their master. He remembered seeing Arthur after training went to visit the dogs and they all growled at him when he tried to pat them on their heads. The dogs obviously did not respect the crown. Arthur returned to his chambers more prattish than usual that day although Merlin really found Arthur's mutty predicament hilarious.
Arthur gave him a confused look. "What's funny, Merlin? Should I be really worried with you now?"
Merlin pushed back the centuries old memories once again and composed himself. "No, clotpole. Sorry I just remembered something. But a dog? You know you're allergic."
"Erm, yes I am. But I see you playing with old Joe's dog almost every day after you come home from work and I thought it would be a better start than you know, human babies."
Who knew Arthur Pendragon could be this sweet and thoughtful. "I would like that, darling. But no I don't want to see you sneezing and coughing around everyday just because we forced a dog in the house." Quick to his mind Merlin suggested, "What about fish instead? We can buy an aquarium and—"
Arthur interjected right away, "I don't think that's a good idea. I remember my dad bought me a goldfish when I was 9. It died."
Merlin laughed once again and shook his head, "See! How could we even take care of a dog, which is obviously bigger than a goldfish, if you're allergic to it and killed your first pet!"
Merlin really is the smarter one in this relationship . "Okay you're right. You're always reasonable. And its dung! Who would pick that up?"
"Definitely not your royal ass, love. I'm the one who would clearly suffer so no."
"Dogs and goldfish scratched out from the list then. "
Merlin continued eating his sausages and eggs while Arthur contemplated once again and watched his husband carelessly bit his tongue and cursed. A good thing Arthur had things in mind to remedy that sore tongue.