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Peculiar Portfolios

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Steven DeMayo


  • He's 14 in this fic.
  • He looks a lot older than he does in canon, Due to being raised by his father, instead of the gems.
  • Steven has a odd condition, that causes him to gain more weight than is natural. Because of this, Steven doesn't eat much, and exercises daily. 
  • Steven retains a cheerful personality, yet he understands that the real world isn't always perfect. Basically he's a bit more grounded.
  • Steven has a lot of knowledge on vehicles and mechanics, because he's lived in a van for all of his life. He's also learning how to drive.
  • During his days before meeting the Sisters of The Night by Steven helped his father clean the van, search for knickknacks on the beach, and with housework.
  • He doesn't know much about his father, except for the fact that her name was Rosa Alucard, and that she died when he was an infant. 
  • Steven is excited about living in a new house, meeting new people, getting to know his spooky vampire roommates. 
  • He now considers the "Sisters" to be part of his new family.
  • He meets the neighbours' child Connie, and they quickly become friends.


Gregory DeMayo


  • He prefers to be called Greg.
  • He cares deeply for his son Steven. 
  • Greg was an amateur musician, fresh out of college and struggling with rent and student loans, when he met Rosa. They soon fell in love and had a child. When Steven was a year old, Rosa suddenly died of a mysterious illness.
  • Greg is slightly more reluctant to be around the vampires
  • Amethyst and Greg like to go to the TV room to watch old sitcoms
  • The vampires like to startle Greg at times, due to his panicked reactions.
  • He has a cousin named Andy, who is famous in Beach City for his shock-jock radio show. His "protege" is a young conspiracy theorist named Ronaldo Fryman.




  • She's sort of the nervous mom of the group.
  • Has a neurotic, and anxious side. Other times she's more confident, and constantly flirts with her wife Bismuth.  
  • She can be very extra and hammy at times. 
  • She likes to go birdwatching at times. She used to have a parakeet named DeeDee
  • Pearl took a liking to Connie, after Steven introduced them to each other. She now teaches Connie how to duel. 
  • On occasion, she likes to play spooky tunes on the organ. Sometimes, she plays sad songs when she is brooding about Pink.
  • A few years ago, Pearl fell in love with Pink Diamond, who was the leader of the Sisters of the Night. When Pink gave up her immortality for a mystery man and left the group, it hit Pearl the hardest. Thankfully, Pearl is doing much better now, as she's had the company of her life-long friends and her wife.




  • She's the cool mom, and also the mom that doesn't take any shit.
  • Likes to listen to Pearl play her music
  • Her and Jasper like to have sparring sessions, Bismuth joins in at times
  • Sometimes she hangs upside down on the ceiling. 
  • You know that lady from the Addams Family?, she's sort of like that. 
  • Her parents are two lovely moms named Ruby and Sapphire.
  • She has a little black cat named Estelle
  • Garnet is eternally grateful to her friends and clan, as they were the only place that she was accepted. Besides her family of course. 




  • She's kinda like a older sister to Steven, she's also like a wild aunt.
  • Loves to wrestle, party, and generally have a good time.
  • Has a special whip, for times of trouble.
  • Jasper is her twin sister. Even though she's a lot taller and buffer than Amethyst.
  • One of her favorite things to do now, is watching old TV shows with Greg.
  • She also likes to eat. She has really vibrant taste buds.
  • Spinel and Amethyst have prank wars.
  • She sometimes squabbles with Pearl about cleanliness. Pearl just wants her to tidy her room.
  • Sometimes she has moments of self-loathing, but she's always trying to improve and adapt to situations. 



  • Bismuth is the heart and soul.
  • Her wife is Pearl. They're pretty cute and spoopy together
  • She likes watching 80's anime. Stuff like Lonely Blade.
  • Bismuth's speciality is making weapons. In olden days, she worked as a blacksmith for humans.
  • Pearl and Bismuth are constantly engaging in flirt wars. Lapis and Peridot happen to do the same thing.
  • Their wedding was a dual wedding with Lapis and Peridot.
  • Bismuth's favorite meal besides blood is square pizza.
  • Loves giving people "cape hugs". Especially Pearl
  • Bismuth didn't always agree with Pink on her methods of feeding. She felt as though Pink was too soft on other vampire clans. Still, she respected and admired Pink for giving her a chance to be herself.





  • The elegant, smooth-talking, romantic aunt of the group.
  • She loves her wife Peri, a lot.
  • Lapis is a very elegant and refined individual. She always likes to carry an air of grace, and a hint of creepiness
  • Her favorite book is Dracula. Sometimes she tries to act like the Count. She's also a master of hypnotism.
  • She keeps a nail-file on standby
  • A huge fan of water, Lapis will often blow off steam by spending time in the swimming pool.
  • Steven brings out a more child-like side of her. As does Peri.
  • She happens to be very protective of her wife and family.
  • At times, Lapis will extend her cloak, in order to make it look like she is floating. She also uses it to give "Cape hugs" to Peridot. 





  • The nerdiest nerd of all nerds in the history of nerd.
  • Though many consider her to be cute, there are times where Peridot can be assertive and in her own words. "I'm not cute, I'm sexy!"
  • When she's not in her lab, She's watching Camp Pining Hearts, being with her wife Lapis, her friends, or feeding.
  • She only wears footwear when she has to, she feels that shoes are useless.
  • She keeps a tablet and tape recorder at all times.
  • Amethyst and Peridot always keep up with the latest tech.




  • She's Amethyst's twin sister.
  • Though she appears as a menacing figure, she's really a big softie
  • She loves to lurk in the shadows
  • She also likes the bar. Sometimes her and Amethyst will get completely plastered. Pearl joins them at times.
  • Very protective of her friends and family.
  • Has a lust for certain types of blood.
  • Goes to the house gymnasium constantly with Bismuth. Buff girls gotta stay buff
  • Sometimes Jasper goes to local lesbian bars, and Bismuth and Amethyst act as her wingmen




  • The clown of the gang
  • She loves jazz music and electro-swing
  • Basically she just loves the 1930's. That was her favorite time to be alive
  • She's got books and books of jokes that she's written over the years
  • Out of all of the gang, Spinel is the one who transforms into a bat the most often
  • Loves to play pranks on guests and housemates
  • Spinel doesn't like to be alone. So she often hangs out with the bats when the others are busy




  • Steven's neighbour. She's 14 years old as well. 
  • She's a very bookish girl. Connie hadn't had any friends before meeting Steven.
  • She's extremely interested in vampires, and is delighted to meet the Sisters of the Night.
  • After meeting Pearl, Connie becomes her apprentice in swordfighting.
  • Plans on going to College to graduate with a degree in literature
  • Top of her class back in 7th grade
  • Wants a more exciting life


The Sisters of Night


  • A group of vampires. The group consists of Pearl, Amethyst, Garnet, Lapis, Peridot, Jasper, Bismuth, and Spinel
  • They feed on blood every Saturday
  • All of the members are 24. They met as infants in daycare
  • They have a rule, they musn't kill their prey. It would cause a media frenzy, and it would be morally wrong and unfair
  • 50 years for humans is 1 year for vampires
  • Pink Diamond was the original leader of the clan, until she gave up her immortality, and left to experience the human world.



Chapter Text

(It was a dark and ominous evening, and in a dark and mysterious mansion, 8 vampires sat in the planning room. The two human inhabitants, A boy named Steven and his father Greg, were out in the city, blissfully unaware of the magnificent feast that these monsters had planned. Pearl was cleaning her sword. Spinel was bouncing up and down in her chair. Jasper sat still, a determined look on her face. Garnet stroked Estelle, her black cat, and hummed a soothing tune. Peridot anxiously fiddled with her bow tie, while Lapis read a copy of Dracula , a sly smile on her face. Finally, Bismuth was staring at the clock, a curious look on her face. They all were facing towards a map of Beach City.)


Pearl: Sisters, it is time for us to feed!.


(The other members began to hiss, whispering in anticipation about their dinners)


Jasper: Yes, But first we must make a plan. I say that we mark out our territories. For instance, I shall attack on the beaches. What about you, Lapis?


(At the mention of her name, The blue haired woman let out a low ominous laugh. She closed the book and stood up. Most of her body was hidden by her cloak, it encompassed her like a mantle. Her fangs had extended, and her eyes had become more slitted, almost like a snake)


Lapis: I shall hide in the shadows. Lurking in the alleyways and hidden corners of the city. As I follow my prey, I shall taunt them, they will hear my laughter, but every time they turn around, I'll be gone. They may not see me, but I'll always see them.


(As she continued, Lapis grabbed the edges of her cape, and moved her arms to the side, giving the illusion of bat-wings. In fact, it almost seemed like Lapis was looming over the other members)


Lapis: And then... when the time is right. The human will be shrouded in darkness!. Leaving me to feast on their delicious... succulent... blood.


(Everyone stared at Lapis with looks of shock. That is, except for Peridot, who had a look of pure bliss on her face. The little vampire giggled, feeling extremely attracted to her wife's plan.)


Bismuth: I'm gonna head to the restauraunts, gas stations, those sorta places. There's got to be people getting a late night snack. Which is good for me.


(Her fangs extended. And she let out a deep chuckle.)


Amethyst: Peri and I are gonna chill at the arcade. And just in case there's any slayers..


(She pulled out a black whip with a spike at the end. Peridot in turn grabbed the futuristic looking gun that sat next to her. )


Amethyst: We came prepared.


Peridot: Plus, not only will we get to feed, but we shall be able to take part in the youthful tradition of "video games " as they call it. I do so love those little primitive machines!.


Spinel: I'll be close. You guys will probably see me at the amusement park nearby. If you hear someone screaming about a clown with fangs...


(Her face contorted into a twisted grin)


Spinel: Then they're talkin about their new best friend Spinel!. 


(She gave a demented giggle.)


Garnet: Guess it's my turn. I'll keep it simple. I'm gonna stay close to the house. That way, I can get my dinner, and we won't have to deal with trespassers.


Pearl: Do you mind if I join you?. I'd like to help, just in case there's any slayers around.


Garnet: Sure, I'm always grateful for company.


(Estelle made a grumpy meowling sound. Garnet put her down, and the cat curled up in a ball, trying to sleep.)


Jasper: Sisters... let us begin... a wondrous feast!


(At first, the laughter of the 8 women was low and quiet, before it became full on maniacal cackling. They immediately stopped when they heard a voice from the entrance to the room.)


Steven: You guys okay?


(The vampires looked embarrassed that they had been caught scheming.)


Pearl: Steven!. W-what are you doing here?


Steven: We came back early. What are you guys laughing about?.


Peridot: N-nothing!, Spinel just told a funny joke. That's all!.


Spinel: I did!, It's the one about the vampire who walked into the bar...


Steven: Guys, it's fine. If you're feeding then you don't have to lie about it. As long as you don't kill anyone, then I'm cool.


Bismuth: We would never!


Lapis: Certainly not!. It would be immoral!.


Steven: Alright then. See you guys tomorrow. 


(And with that, Steven went to his room.)


Amethyst: Alright then. Let's get to work!


(They all transformed into bats, and left the house, the sound of their laughter echoing around the rooms.)



Chapter Text

(The lights revealed a news studio, as a anchorman with a nice suit, combed hair, and a blazing smolder took a swig of coffee from his mug.)


Brock: Welcome back to the Evening Report. I'm Brock Summers. Before we end the show, I'd like to present the story of a single father and his teenage son, who were spending their days in a small van, until they received a mysterious letter from a group of people who referred to them selves as... what did you say that it was Mr DeMayo?


(Brock was looking at a TV screen, which showed Steven and Greg looking back at the reporter. They seemed to be sitting outside of a dark and shadowy mansion.)


Greg: They called themselves the Sisters of the Night, I think.


Brock: I see, and am I correct in saying that you are now living in 1897 Stoker Lane?


Steven: Yep!. I think it's like.. 40 minutes from your studio.


Brock: And have you gentlemen heard about the rumor of the owners of that house being.. vampires?


Greg: Pssh!, Please. That's just a load of-


(A black bat had quietly landed on Greg's bald-spot)


Steven: Dad?, You got a bat on you.


Greg: What?. Damn it!. Why does that keep happening to me!.


Brock: Pardon me interrupting sir. But this seems pretty suspicious to me. 


(In the blink of an eye, two women appeared out of nowhere. It happened to be Lapis and Garnet.)


Lapis: Good eveeening Steven....


Garnet: Is this man bothering you?.


Steven: Not really. They were just asking about you guys!


Garnet: Were they?


Lapis: I hope that you haven't told them our secret.


Brock: Don't worry ladies. I haven't found out yet.


Garnet: And you never will.


Brock: Excuse me?


(Lapis's eyes began to glow a bright shade of blue, Garnet took off her sunglasses, revealing deep purple eyes that shone in the darkness. The two vampires began to hypnotize the viewers.)


Lapis: Citizens of Beach City, you will forget that this meeting has ever happened.


Garnet: In fact. You will forget that Steven, Greg, and anyone else in this house even exists. 


Lapis: There is no house on 1897 Stoker Lane. And there is no such thing as The Sisters of the Night. 


Garnet: You will snap out of your trance in 5..4..3..2


(Greg hurriedly turned off the newscam. Lapis and Garnet had disappeared. When Brock came back to his senses, he looked at the teleprompter.)


Brock: W...where were we, Paul.


Paul: I think that we were wrapping up the show.


Brock: Oh, right. Anyway. This has been the Evening Point. I'm Brock Summers and I'm saying goodnight to Beach City!.



Chapter Text

(Steven decided to ask the Sisters of the Night about some of their favorite things. He would log their answers in his notebook.)


Steven: Hey guys. Thanks for agreeing to this.


Garnet: Anytime, Steven.


Steven: Alright. First question. What's your favorite thing with vampires. Stuff like movies, art, books. That sort of thing.


Pearl: Lestat.


Jasper: Vlad The Impaler


Amethyst: The Lost Boys.


Garnet: The Addams Family.


Peridot: I don't recall there being any vampires in The Addams Family


Garnet: I know.


Lapis: My favorite is Dracula. The book and the 1931 movie


Spinel: Count Chocula!


(The 7 other vampires stared in confusion at the pink haired girl.)


Spinel: What?, he never said it had to be something serious.


Peridot: Anyway, I'm a fan of Buffy.


Bismuth: I'm kind of nervous to say what my favorite is. I don't want anyone laughing at me. 


Steven: Don't worry, Bismuth. No one will judge you.


Bismuth: Alright then... 


(She lowered her voice)


Bismuth: I like Twilight.


(Amethyst let out a snort of laughter, but stopped abruptly when she saw Pearl's death stare. It seemed to say "Don't you dare laugh at my wife".)


Bismuth: Look. I know that it's trash. But it's my trash. I mean look at Lapis and Peridot. They watch that Camp Pining Hearts stuff.


Peridot: Objection!. That is only your opinion!. And it's a dumb opinion at that!


Bismuth: The point is that I like the Twilight Movies


Spinel: Even the last one?


Bismuth: Even the last one. Can we get to the next question?


Steven: Of course. So how old are you guys?


Pearl: We're all 24 in vampire years. You see, a year for us is 50 for humans. That would make us 1200 in human years.


Steven: Wow!. That's so old!


Jasper: You bet. We've been through a lot of history.


Peridot: Here's an interesting fact. Vampires are actually humans from another dimension. 


Steven: What?.


Peridot: Our ancestors came from a dying version of Earth. This type of humanity had formed from alien bats. 


Garnet: It sounds ridiculous, but its true. Our parents came to your dimension during the early 900's. That's the time that we were born. But that's a story for another time. 


Steven: That leads me to a question. What your favorite decade to live in?.


Pearl: The 1700's and the 1800's. Everything was so much more elegant and refined.


Lapis: I agree. That was when humans started to have similar fashion to vampires. Where do you think they got the idea of gothic fashion?


Garnet: The 70s. I liked the music.


Jasper: Vikings. I remember sneaking into a viking warship as a child. Good times!


Bismuth: Medieval England, baby!. Those guys knew how to make swords!


Spinel: Gee!, I just loved the 1930's. People started talkin like me!. That was just the bees knees!


Amethyst: Dunno. 80's were pretty sweet.


Peridot: Uh, obviously I've loved this decade. Humans are finally starting to catch up to vampires, at least when it comes to technology. It's still a bit primitive, but they're trying!


Steven: Alright. Thanks for sitting down with me. Just wanted to get to know you guys a little better. 


Bismuth: Understood. It's cool that you're curious.


Steven: Well I'll see you guys soon.



Chapter Text

Hey guys. Just wanted to let you know that I'm gonna be in Cape Cod for Saturday and some of Sunday. I'm leaving in like an hour I think. So just wanted to let you know that I won't be able to post stuff or reply to comments. You can still critique the chapters if you want, I'm cool with that. Criticism is always welcome. I'll be back soon!.


From TKL19



Chapter Text

Got back a few hours ago from Cape Cod. 


Just wanted to say that. 

Also thought I would share some of my ideas for chapters of Peculiar Arrangement. 


None of them are set in stone, just ideas.


  • Connie starts training with Pearl. After getting fed up with Pearl’s constant patronizing comments about humans, Connie decides to talk with her about it.
  • Lapis is skeptical about the new neighbours.
  • Peridot and Lapis deal with feelings of grief after the loss of Pumpkin.
  • Amethyst and Spinel go on a pranking spree around the house.
  • Amethyst convinces her sister Jasper to open the house bar to the public. She decides to have Steven help with the service.
  • Bismuth decides to take Steven and Connie, and take them to the forge. This is where Bismuth makes her weapons.
  • Greg has a heart attack after being scared too many times by the 8 vampires. 
  • After searching for some cat food for Estelle, Garnet is confronted some hooligans 



Chapter Text

Last chapter, I talked specfically, about ideas for A Peculiar Arrangement, which is the main fic. This time, I have some ideas for the sidefic, Peculiar Portfolios


Remember, I'm not saying that all of these ideas will be made, their just concepts. 


Here we go.


A non-canon alternate one-shot, where Connie is a vampire. Specifically, She's Pearl's apprentice. Connie's mission is to find a soulmate (Sorry Steven) to feast on. 


Chapters that show the Sisters as babies/children/teens. I just find the idea of them all meeting as little babu's to be adorable AF.


A chapter where Bismuth goes with Pearl to visit Pearl's parents. Pearl tries to stop her sisters from flirting with Bismuth. 


Some entries from Pinka/Rosa's journals and video entries. 


A chapter with cute lesbian moms, Ruby and Sapphire.


That's about it. 


Just for some info.


Blue Diamond is Lapis's mother. Lapis had two identical twin sisters. They are very different from Lapis.


Yellow is Peridot's mom.


The Diamonds aren't related.


White is dead.


Just wanted to let people know. More info on parents and stuff will be revealed soon. 


Chapter Text

I've decided to do a chapter where I ask you guys for ideas. 


Thought it'd be fun to hear from you guys.


If you are reading this right now, then feel free to write down some ideas.


If you're a newcomer, feel free to check out some of the other chapters where I talk about the character's personalities.


There's a few rules.


1. Canon characters only. OC's can be briefly mentioned as a cameo.


2. Nothing discriminatory. So no sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, abelist, classist, xenophobic shit.


3. Since I'm 17, I do not accept 18+ stuff. I want to wait until I'm 18 and/or in my own place.


Also. I want to say that Chapters for this and Peculiar Arrangement may take some time, as I have schoolwork and personal shit, nothing too bad, it's just that anxiety/depression is a fucking asshole. 


Before I go, here's a list of characters you can use. Bolded letters mean that the character is a vampire.


  1. Steven
  2. Connie
  3. Greg
  4. Big Donut Workers. (Lars and Sadie.)
  5. Pearl
  6. Amethyst
  7. Garnet
  8. Bismuth
  9. Spinel
  10. Lapis
  11. Jasper
  12. Peridot
  13. Blue Diamond (She happens to be Lapis's mom in this.)
  14. Yellow Diamond (Peridot's mom in this. None of the Diamonds are related.)
  15. Pink, Yellow, and Blue Pearl. (They happen to be Pearl's sisters in this fic.)
  16. The Cool Kids.
  17. Jamie.
  18. Basically any of the Beach City people.
  19. Pumpkin.


So that's it. 


Hope you guys enjoy!


Chapter Text

Pearl's design comes from Lauren Zuke.


Garnet's design comes From dp-illustrations.

Amethyst's design comes from zenox-furry-man. (Amethyst is the only design that is canon in this fic.)

Bismuth and Jasper's designs come from Moe's Art Blog

Lapis's design comes from PrincessHarumi. (I added a cloak to her outfit in the fic, to give it a more Draculaesque feel.)

Peridot's design comes from Treker402

Spinel's design comes from LupisPone. (I removed the cape and added pinstripes to the pants. The gloves were removed.)

Chapter Text

Canon Steven (Steven circa-Season 1. Just for information.)

  • Starts the series out, at the age of 13.
  • Looks young for his age, since he was raised by the Gems.
  • Innocent, Naive, Compassionate. Eventually matures, and learns to not have a black and white sense of morality.
  • Skilled in many instruments. Especially ukulele. 
  • Wears a red shirt with a star, blue jeans, and sandals.
  • Short curly black hair, has a bit of a big belly.
  • Goes by Steven Universe. 
  • Has magical space rock powers. (Bubbles, Healing Spit, all that jazz)
  • Generally looks for the best in everything.
  • Delayed puberty.


Peculiar Steven


  • 14 at the start of the fic, Connie is also 14.
  • Goes by Steven DeMayo, (DeMayo is his actual name in the show, but he just goes by Universe in the official show.)
  • Looks older, due to being raised by his father.
  • Is right smack dab in the middle of the awkward nightmare that is PUBERTY!. Suffers from voice cracks, pimples, and conflicting emotions. The whole "my mom was a vampire thing" isn't exactly soothing for hormones.
  • Has long shaggy hair, like his father had when he was a kid.
  • Slightly sunburnt, and slightly darker skin, more of a light olive-ish complexion with a bit of a stache (kind of like peach fuzz).
  • Hormones and leftover baby fat, cause Steven to have unintentionally gained weight. This means that despite the fact that he exercises every day, he still has a bit of a gut. As he gets older, the weight begins to fall off.
  • Was very poor and raised in a van for most of his life, so he isn't used to eating much. As such, Steven feels very weary about food consumption, preferring to eat once or twice a day. He worries that any amount of food more than that will cause health problems.
  • He's still a happy and caring person, but he has a little more experience in the real world, he has a drive and goal to succeed in life, and to thrive in his surroundings. He also a little more hesitant and calm. 

Chapter Text

(Of all the rooms in the castle, like the TV Room, the dining room, the ballroom, the pool, etc, The lab was Peridot’s favorite place to be. It was like a second home to her. The little blonde had spent half of her life looking through microscopes, messing with test tubes and beakers. She had spent centuries of human years creating fantastical new inventions, and innovating new ways to complete ordinary tasks. On this particular day, she was trying to upgrade one of her little drones, so that it could pick up extra satellite signals. Her work was interrupted when she heard a sultry, and husky voice whisper something into her ear.)


Lapis: Enjoying your work?


(Peridot could tell by the voice that her wife Lapis had entered the room. From the tone, it sounded as though she were peckish, but certainly not for blood.)


Peridot: Lazuli.. What brings you to my laboratory?


(Lapis smiled sweetly, and she put on an act of innocence.)


Lapis: I just want to see my Periwinkle busy with science. Is that so wrong?


(Peridot could notice the twinkle in Lapis’s eyes, but refused to fall for Lapis’s act.)


Peridot: You want something. What is it?


(The blue haired woman’s mouth twisted into a sly smile, her eyes began to glow, as she advanced on the scientist.)


Lapis: I want you .


(Peridot smiled, realizing what Lapis was implying.)


Peridot; But of course. I’m happy to oblige.


(Lapis let out a deep chuckle, and sat on Peridot’s table.)


Lapis: Excellent. Now… I want you to talk nerdy to me.


(Peridot giggled nervously and started to blush. She composed herself, and fiddled with her bow tie.)


Peridot: That can be arranged.


(Lapis jumped off the table and stroked Peri’s hair.)


Peridot: Well, I was previously installing a new battery for my scientific assistant drone, before I heard the voice of my marital spouse, whispering into my left earlobe. It sounded, husky and slightly playful. I could tell that she was looking for attention from me.


(Lapis giggled and began to blush.)


Peridot: It was at the moment of turning around, that I noticed her radiance, her natural beauty, and her hungry eyes. Her appearance was stunning. My heart started to thump in a rhythm, I experienced rapid perspiration, and at this point, I realized that I had become extremely aroused.


(While talking, Peridot took off her coat, throwing it behind her. Lapis slowly unbuckled the clasp on her cloak, letting it fall to the ground.)


Lapis: Oh? and… what happened next?


Peridot: If my calculations are correct, and if I remember past experiences, I concur that we shall engage in affairs that aren’t exactly… “innocent”.


Lapis: Yes… I love it when you talk like that… Come here, my love.


(They began to kiss passionately, nothing else on their minds except staying as close as they could to each other.)


(A few minutes later, Greg had been heading to the lab, hoping to ask Peridot if she had any tools to help upgrade his van. The door was open, and a sign said “Come in!”. Greg assumed that it was okay for him to enter. He was shocked to find Lapis and Peridot naked from the waist down, lips locked as they snuggled on the floor.)


Greg: Gah!. I’m sorry!


Peridot: Don’t you knock?


Lapis: How uncivilized!


(Greg immediately closed the door, Blushing as he left the room. A few hours later, Greg asked Lapis and Peridot to sit down with him in the dining room. Steven happened to be near them, listening to some music, oddly enough, the headphones weren’t plugged in to the phone.)


Greg: Look, I wanted to talk to you guys about your flirting.


Peridot: What’s the problem?


Greg: Just a few hours ago, I walked in on you guys making out. That’s not what bothered me. The issue is that you two didn’t have any type of clothing below your waist.


Lapis: Well you should have knocked before entering.


Greg: The door was open!. And there was a sign that literally said “Come In!”.


Peridot: Ah, but you see. If you had squinted closely, you would’ve seen that the sign also said “but make sure to knock first.” It happened to be written in invisible ink.




Lapis: It amused us. 


Greg: Look, what if Steven had walked through that door?. He’s only 14, he shouldn’t be seeing stuff like that. 


Steven: Honestly, I’m fine Dad.


Greg: Steven?. You heard that?.


Steven: Yeah. My headphones aren’t even plugged in.


Greg: Well it’s important that you hear this then.


Lapis: Look Greg, Me and Peri like to flirt. Is that so bad?.


Greg: It depends on the words you use when you flirt. Sometimes it can get really intense.


Peridot: When have we ever gotten intense?


(Greg handed a list of words that Lapis and Peridot used to flirt with each other. Such phrases included, “Nice pants, I’d like to see what’s inside them.”, “I’m hungry for some blueberry pie”, and “ I’m ready for some Dippin Dots”. Those were the relatively appropriate ones. The other quotes were too explicit to describe. Let’s just say it included bedsheets, and a can of mayonnaise)


Lapis: But Pearl and Bismuth flirt as well!.


Greg: Yes!. But they keep it pretty clean around Steven.


Steven: I’m not that innocent Dad. I read that “Passions of Xanxor” book when I was like 12.


Greg: What!. That was adult stuff!.


Steven: It was near my bunk. There wasn’t much to do in the van, so I just read it. 


(Greg sighed, internally crying over the loss of his child’s innocence.)


Lapis; Greg. Steven is not a child, he’s an adolescent. It’s better than he learn about more suggestive and mature things at this age, so he’s prepared for the real world.


Greg: Fine. Could you just tone it down a bit?.


(Peridot sighed)


Peridot: I suppose we could try to be more appropriate around Steven.


Greg: That’s all I wanted.


(Greg left to get a drink from the fridge.)


Steven: Hey, If it’s any help. I think you guys are adorable.


Lapis: But of course, unlike your father, you have a brain.


(Lapis and Peridot left the dining room. They decided that in order to talk dirty without Greg noticing, they would change the language when they did it.


Lapis: Mă îndoiesc că înțeleg limba română. (I doubt that he understands Romanian,)


Peridot: Îți faci griji pentru asta mai târziu. Hai să lovim patul. (You worry about that later. Let’s hit the bed.)


Lapis: Hai, tocilar (Come on, nerd)


(The End)

Chapter Text

Just wanted to explain when this fic takes place. The first two chapters of Peculiar Arrangement take place on the same day, and It's late november. Chapters 3-5 are the day after. Chapter 6 will take place the day after that, it takes place on December 1st. And then the events will get further apart. Chapters can take place on the same day, a week later, or a month later, it depends on the situation.


Chapters of Portfolios, like the Interview, and the Flirting, and the Meeting about feasting and stuff, take place during the first few weeks of Steven living with the Sisters of The Night.


Also wanted to say that I'm working on another requested episode from MasterArchfiend for Portfolios. It's a anniversary episode for Bismuth and Pearl. It adds a bit of lore to the story. But it's mainly a fluff chapter. I'm hoping to release it before Christmas.


Speaking of Christmas. Let me know if you guys have any ideas in the comments for a Christmas mini chapter!


As always. Canon characters only. 


Also, I'm taking a break for roleplaying. It's not that fun for me, and I mainly like comments about the chapters. Criticism is always welcome.


See you soon!

Chapter Text

(It was Christmas Day and decorations filled the castle. A giant tree was in the living room and a menorah sat beside the tree. The Sisters of the Night sat with Connie, Steven, and Greg. They all wore ugly Christmas sweaters. A)


Pearl: Greetings, Citizens of the Archive!


Jasper: We wanted to wish a happy holidays for everyone who has read these stories.


Bismuth: We also wish a happy day for people who celebrating Hanukkah, Kwanza, and any other holiday y'all are celebrating.


Spinel: So stay classy, Internet. And make sure to save the date for New Year's cuz that's when we're coming back.


Connie: See you soon!

Chapter Text

Happy 2020, everybody.


Just wanted to say thanks for a wonderful 2019, I also have some good news about the Peculiarverse.


Episode 7 was released on Peculiar Arrangement and it's about Connie's first sword fighting lesson with Pearl. 


Also, I will be releasing the second of MasterArchFiend's request either today or tomorrow. It's a BisPearl chapter where Steven and Connie try to do something for their anniversary.


As always, feel free to comment, but I will not be answering RP stuff. 


I love you 3000 guys, and here's to a wonderful 2020.



The Weird Schmuck Known As TrueKindaLove19


Chapter Text

(It took some time, but Greg was finally getting used to living in the Stoker Residence. The Sisters had welcomed him and his son, with open arms. He only thought it fair that he showed his gratitude by interacting with his roommates. Greg entered the TV room to find Amethyst lounging on the sofa, eyes half closed, a lazy grin on her face. Her top-hat was on the floor. What interested Greg, was that she wasn’t using the huge 4K flat screen, but instead was watching something on the smaller, more ancient, black and white TV.)


Greg: Hey, Amethyst.


Amethyst: Greg!, What’s up, man? You wanna watch something with me?


Greg: Well… if you don’t mind.


Amethyst: Sure, dude! Have a seat!


(Amethyst scooched over on the couch, letting Greg sit down. A short man popped up on the screen. He had balding white hair and a huge mustache. A light-hearted tune played in the background, and Greg began to smile, as he recognized the song.)


Greg: Is this Li’l Butler ?


Amethyst: You bet! Are you a fan?


Greg: I used to watch it all the time when I was a kid! It was, like, my favorite thing to do on a Saturday night!


Amethyst: Sweet! I thought I was the only one in this place that was a Butler fan. Garnet and Pearl think that it’s “mindless garbage”, Lapis and Peridot mainly watch that “Pining Hearts” crap, and Spinel just watches old cartoons. Sometimes I join Bismuth and Jasper to watch Lonely Blade . The only time we all get together in this room is to watch some movies. And even then, the film has to be unanimously approved. But it’s cool that you like Li'l Butler .


Greg: Do you have a favorite season?


Amethyst: In my opinion, Season 3 is when it starts getting good. Speaking of which, I think the TV happens to be playing my favorite episode as we speak.


Greg: The one where they introduced the uptight neighbours. The Richardsons, I think?


Amethyst: That’s the one!


(They spent the next 30 minutes, laughing at the butler’s antics, sharing trivia about the show, and quoting the show’s memorable catch phrases. As the credits were rolling, Greg could notice Amethyst’s eyes beginning to water.)


Greg: Hey.. are you okay?


Amethyst: Whuh!, uh… yeah… just remembering.


Greg: Remembering?


Amethyst: Yeah… this episode was playing.. the last time I hung out with Pinka, or Rose, or whatever.


Greg: R-really?


Amethyst: Pinka was visiting us. Every 20 human years or so, she’d come to stay with us for a day or two. It was 1997, June I think. That was the last time I saw her in the flesh. She’d done the usual routine of catching up with the gang, sparring with Jasper and Bismuth, observing Peridot’s weird… science stuff, all that jazz. But we noticed something during her visit. Pinka was getting weaker. She was still in top shape, but her brain was starting to get worse. Nothing too harmful, but there were signs. She always seemed to have this… weird look in her eyes. She’d zone out, and she’d constantly forget what she was going to say. We were getting worried. Before she left, Pinka decided to watch something with me, so we decided on Li’l Butler. It was halfway through this episode, when she paused the TV, and turned to me. “Amethyst”, she said, “you’re amazing, you know that? I know you feel insecure about yourself at times, but I just needed to let you know that you’re more than you think you are.” I was surprised. “Thanks… is something going on?” I said. “I just wanted to get that off my chest, before I left.” she said. She had this sad smile, like she knew something that I didn’t. Then she gave me a hug, and that was it. She said goodbye to me and the others, and just...left.


(Tears were coming down her face, her eyes and cheeks were red.)


Amethyst: I.. I’m sorry man. We should’ve helped you guys sooner. We just didn’t want to do it at the wrong time. I don’t know why Pinka wanted us to wait so long, but she must’ve had a reason. God, I wish she was here.


(Greg put a hand on her shoulder.)


Greg: So do I. But I feel like she kinda is. Maybe not physically, but I like to think that if there’s a heaven, then Rose is there. And she’s still in our hearts, and that’s the next best thing.


(Amethyst blushed and smiled, wiping her eyes and composing herself.)


Amethyst: I’m just glad that I met you and Steven. You and your son are able to keep her legacy alive. God, listen to me. I sound like Pearl!


(Greg and Amethyst started to laugh, mainly out of a feeling of awkward relief.)


Greg: How about we watch something that’s a little less nostalgic. 


Amethyst: I DVR’d some episodes of Cheesecake Wars if you wanna check it out.


Greg: Sounds “gouda” to me!


Amethyst: Aw man! Cheese puns?


Greg: “Aura” you okay with that?


Amethyst: Heh!, j-just.. just stop, man.


(They switched over to the flat screen TV, sat on a different sofa, and began to watch their show.)


(The End)

Chapter Text

Do you ever feel like everything you do is wrong?


I'm not trying to come off as mean or uncaring, but like, I feel like I'm barely getting comments. I don't care if it's praising, or criticizing, or even trolling!. I just want to know that people have thoughts on my writing. I don't think that I'm fucking Shakespeare, but I want to know that what I make on this site matters. When I started these stories, I got a bunch of reviews and opinions. Booniverse was popular, but it's not coming back. Ok? I'm not bringing it back because I find it to be cringy. It's a predecessor to Peculiar Verse. And I've had much more time to work on Peculiar Arrangement and Portfolios. I'm so sorry, I'm just recovering from an anxiety attack, my throat feels like shit, and I have an english essay due in a few days. My zits are awful and I feel like everything I do is awful. There's a bad voice in my head and it's telling me, horrible things. I'm not fishing for compliments. I'm just telling you the truth. I care about your opinions, your thoughts, your words. It takes time to make these chapters, and I always hope to please you guys. 


If you do comment, then here are some rules.


No asking about bringing back old shit. The Symbioverse and Booniverse are fucking dead. They're not coming back.


No roleplaying. I can give you ideas for stuff, but I'm not gonna RP with you.


That's about it.


I just need some time to get in a safe place. Mental health's a fucking piece of work.


I love you all.




Chapter Text

(On a normal day, The Stoker Residence would be a noisy place, full of hustle and bustle, music, and conversation. But not today. The other Sisters were away on a visit to Transylvania, and wouldn’t be back until tomorrow. Bismuth and Pearl had the entire home to themselves. Pearl woke up to the darkness of her coffin, and noticed that Bismuth wasn’t there. Figuring she had gone off to feed the bats., Pearl got out of the coffin, and stayed in her nightgown. After combing back her hair, she looked at the calendar on the wall. It was the 29th of December. Pearl smiled, as it was the day that her and Bismuth celebrated their 2nd wedding anniversary. To clarify, A human century had passed since they had gotten married. A year for a vampire is 50 for a human. Pearl took a moment to remember the day that Bismuth proposed.)


(1919. It was a year that Pearl remembered well. The death of Theodore Roosevelt, A freak molasses accident in Boston, A fixed World Series, and a future German dictator who decided to join a worker’s party. For Pearl, the year was a mixed bag. She was a senior at Alucard University, got high grades, and was four years into a beautiful relationship with Bismuth, who she had known since infancy. However, she was dealing with a case of depression after Pinka left the group. She was glad to have her lifelong friends by her side.) 


(It was on a cold day in October. Pearl had just finished writing an essay on the dangers of sunscreen that wasn’t approved by the Vampiric Government, when she heard a knock on the door. She opened it to find Bismuth, looking nervous, with a shaky smile on her face. Her student shirt was unbuttoned, and she was barefoot. The dreadlocked girl was clearly hiding something in her pocket.)


Pearl: Bismuth?, What’s the matter? Is something wrong?


(Bismuth took a quick breath before speaking.)


Bismuth: Pearl, You. Are. Amazing. You know that? From the moment we met in daycare, I knew that you were special to me. Garnet, Lapis, Peridot, Amethyst, Jasper and Spinel are like family to me, but you are something different. You have always been the light of my life. When I got hurt in a fight, you were there for me, whenever I argued with Pinka, you were there for me. It hurts to see you feeling so broken, I know how much Pinka meant to you. I know that you don’t feel that confident about yourself. But you are one of the bravest, kindest, smartest, passionate people I’ve ever met. 


(Outside the door, The 6 other members listened.)


Amethyst: Come on!. Just pull the ring out already!


Garnet: Shh! Keep your voice down!.


(The group brings their volume down to a whisper)


Spinel: You think that Pearly’s gonna say yes?


Peridot: Of course! There is a 99.9% chance of a wedding.


Jasper: Damn right. Bismuth’s one smooth girl, there’s no way that this will fail.


Garnet: Let’s wait and be quiet, alright?


(Bismuth reached for the mysterious item in her pocket.)


Bismuth: Which is why I wanna take our relationship to the next level.


(She got on her knees, and pulled out a small box. Inside the box was a small ring with a little pearl on top.)


Bismuth: Pearl… will you marry me?


(Pearl felt her cheeks getting warm, her eyes began to water, and she put her hands over her mouth. She rushed to give Bismuth a warm hug, the sounds of her happy sobs were muffled by the large woman’s shirt.)


Bismuth: I’m hoping that that’s a yes?


(Pearl nodded and sniffed.)


Pearl: Y-yes! Of course! Bismuth, this ring is.. beautiful!


Bismuth: A pearl for my Pearl. It seemed fitting.


Pearl: When should we tell the others.


Bismuth: Heh! Something tells me that they already know.


(It was at this moment that the two heard the faint sounds of cheering from outside.)


Pearl: Honestly! Some people are so nosy!


Bismuth: Eh, they do it out of love. Oh! I almost forgot! I needed your help with something.


Pearl: Of, of course! What do you need?


Bismuth: Could you give me some pointers writing a conclusion for a paper? I’m a little stuck.


Pearl: I’d love to. Sit down with me.


(And with that, The girls began to work. The memory faded in Pearl’s mind, as she mentally returned to the present. Leaving her room, she went downstairs to find Bismuth in her pajamas, frying something in the kitchen.)


Bismuth: Mornin’ hon!. Hope you had a good night’s sleep.


Pearl: What time is it?


Bismuth: 10 AM on the dot. Good for me though, gave me more than enough time to make a damn good breakfast. Scrambled eggs, bacon, served with a small glass of red wine.


Pearl: Sounds delightful. 


(After breakfast, Pearl joined Bismuth in the living room. They sat on a velvet blue sofa.)


Pearl: Sorry I couldn’t wake up earlier and help you.


Bismuth: You needed your beauty sleep. It’s fine. Besides, since it’s a special day, I thought I’d get you something. Think of it as my late Christmas present.


(Under the sofa, she pulled out a long sabre with a golden hilt.)


Pearl: Is that.. an Allard sabre?!


Bismuth: Yep!. Or at least, a pretty good replica. I made it in the forge.


Pearl: Oh Bismuth, you shouldn’t have!


Bismuth: I thought I’d give you an upgrade.


Pearl: Well I appreciate that. And I got you something as well. Stay right there!


(She left the room, and returned a minute later with a box with Blu-Rays.)




Pearl: Happy Anniversary, Sweetie.


Bismuth: You are the best person in the history of ever!

Pearl: You’re welcome, honey.


(Greg walked into the living room, drawn by the commotion.)


Greg: Everything okay?


Pearl: Of course Greg, we were just celebrating our anniversary. Bismuth enjoyed my gift.


(Bismuth was seen cradling the boxset in her arms.)


Greg: Oh yeah!. Steven left about an hour ago to do some shopping. Said he wanted to cook something special for your anniversary.


Bismuth: Awwww!, That’s sweet of him. 


Pearl: Can Steven cook? I don’t mean to be rude, I just hope he knows what he’s doing.


(Steven happened to be on his way home at that very moment, he struggled under the weight of carrying two big shopping bags. Still he trudged on, determined to make a good meal for Bismuth and Pearl. At that moment, his neighbour and best friend, Connie, was shoveling snow on her front yard.)


Connie: Hi, Steven! You need help with those bags?


Steven: N-... actually, yeah. That’d be great. It’s pretty heavy.


(Connie took one of the bags, and together, the kids put the bags inside the Stoker Residence.)


Connie: Doing some shopping for the week?


Steven: Kinda. One of the bags is for the week days, the other bag has ingredients for a meal I’m making. It’s for Pearl and Bismuth’s second wedding anniversary.


Connie: That sounds important! Is it alright if I help. Pearl’s my teacher, if there’s anyway I can thank her for her lessons, then I’ll do it.


Steven: That’d be perfect! We could totally surprise them! Do you happen to know… how to cook? I mean, I know how to cook fish and stuff by using a campfire, but I don’t really know how to handle an oven.


Connie: I took a cooking class back in 7th grade, but we just made basic stuff, like pizza and mac & cheese.


Steven: Do enchiladas count as basic?


Connie: Yeah, that works for me. Just let me tell my parents that I’m hanging out with you.


(After Connie got the okay from her parents, She followed Steven into the kitchen. Bismuth and Pearl pretended not to notice, preferring to act like they didn’t expect Steven’s meal.)


(Connie put the ingredients on the kitchen table, and looked at the recipe that Steven had written down. They began following the recipe’s instructions as well as they could. Every now and then, Connie could swear that she heard a rustling sound. Figuring that it was her imagination, she ignored it. After cooking the chicken and stirring it lightly, they needed to add some more ingredients.)


Connie: Next we need to stir in the salt, oregano, onion, and the pepper.


Steven: I think there’s some salt in one of the cupboards.


(Connie opened the cupboard and found a small creature growling at her. It had the skin of a watermelon, and fingerless hands and seeds for eyes. When it roared, watermelon chunks came out of its mouth. The monster jumped on Connie, attempting to bite her. The roar caused Steven to turn around.)


Steven: CONNIE!


(Connie threw the watermelon across the room, grabbing a knife and a wooden spoon. She tossed the spoon to Steven.)


Connie: Keep cooking. I’ll be fine! Have you finished stirring those ingredients?


Steven: Just about to finish. 


Connie: Good!, Now spread some of the sauce in the baking dish!


Steven: What about y-




Steven: Uh yes, ma’am!


(The creature got up, and ran at Connie. With a steely glare, Connie grabbed the melon man, and repeatedly stabbed it in the chest. When she was finished, her apron was covered in watermelon chunks.)


Steven: Y-you okay?


Connie: Yeah… that felt satisfying. Is that weird? I feel like that’s weird?


Steven: Vampires exist, and there are dogs made out of pumpkins. Nothing is weird to me, anymore. 


Connie: What was that thing?


Steven: Dunno. Was that a watermelon.. Person.. Thingy?


Connie: I think it was… I don’t think I’ll ever eat a melon again.


Steven: Not even cantaloupes?


Connie: Not even cantaloupes.


(After the melon debacle, the teens continued their cooking. After finishing the recipe, and letting it cool, they went to the dining room and put the enchiladas on the table. Steven organized the utensils, while Connie gathered the plates.)


Steven: Alright, let’s get Bismuth and Pearl!


(Bismuth and Pearl had been relaxing on the couch, looking at an old photo book.)


Bismuth: Aw look!, Here’s one of the senior year dance!


(The picture in question was from high school, and it showed Bismuth in a suit with white stains, and Pearl wearing a garish puke yellow and green dress, with a flower behind her ear.)


Pearl: Oh stars! Did I really wear that? It’s hideous!


Bismuth: I think you looked great. It’s not your fault that you didn’t rock your attire like I did.


Pearl: You had oyster stains on your suit!


Bismuth: In my defense, those were some good oysters.


(The next picture was from elementary school. It was a group picture of the Sisters, back when they were 3rd graders. Jasper was giving Amethyst a noogie, Peridot wore huge thick glasses, and was holding a green book, Garnet stood motionless, a small smile on her face, as she gave a thumbs up. Spinel was standing on her head and sticking her tongue out. Lapis was rolling her eyes, as Bismuth was giving her bunny ears. Pearl was prim and proper as always, starting right at the camera. Finally, there was Pinka. The only one of the group that was in high school at the time. She sat in the middle, her eyes closed in contemplation, hands behind her back.)


Bismuth: The whole gang’s here… even Pinka…


Pearl: She really was an excellent leader. If only she could be here.


Bismuth: I know how much you loved her. Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve you.


Pearl: I did love her. But it was one-sided. Bismuth, I chose you. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I loved you in the past, I love you now, and I will love you in the future. I’m so glad that I get to sit here with my big beautiful wife.


(She gave Bismuth a soft kiss on the cheek. The dreadlocked vampire started to blush, a lump formed in her throat.)


Bismuth: Aw come on, Pearl! Don’t get me goin.


(Steven and Connie entered the living room.)


Steven: Do you guys mind heading to the dining room?


Connie: We’ve got a surprise for you!


Pearl: Ooooh!, Sounds intriguing!


Bismuth: Lead the way, guys!


(Bismuth and Pearl followed the kids to the dining room. When they got there, they were surprised to find two chicken enchiladas on one of the smaller dinner tables.)


Steven and Connie: Happy Anniversary!


Bismuth: You guys!, you didn’t have to do this! This is wonderful!


Connie: It’s pretty basic, but we wanted to make something special for today.


Pearl: I didn’t know you two could cook.


Steven: I helped stir some of the ingredients, but you should really be thanking Connie. She has a lot more cooking skills than I do.


Connie: I just took some cooking classes, last year. Nothing huge. But we tried.


Pearl: Pardon my interruption, but is that.. Watermelon on your apron?


Connie: Oh, heh! That! The weirdest thing happened! While I was in the kitchen, this weird.. Melon-human thing, attacked me! I was able to kill it, so everything’s fine now.


(Bismuth sighed and shook her head.)


Bismuth: Damn it, Peridot.


Steven: Peridot? What does she have to do with it?


Pearl: Connie must have discovered one of Peridot’s rejected experiments. You see, before she made Pumpkin, Peridot had a lot of failed prototypes. It’s taken ages to find and trap them all, hopefully this melon monster is the last one.


Bismuth: Never mind that, right now. Let’s dig in!


(The vampires began to eat lunch. Connie and Steven smiled nervously, hoping for the couple’s approval The spicy flavor of the enchilada caused Pearl’s eyes to water and her face noticeably reddened.)


Bismuth: Mmm-mmm! This one’s got some spiciness in it!, Are you sure you can handle it, hon?


Pearl: Of-of course. Slightly burnt, but overall, a decent meal.


Bismuth: Pearl and I are just happy that you guys did this for us. 


Pearl: A surprise to be sure. But a welcome one!


(After finishing the meal, and thanking the kids for their efforts, Bismuth and Pearl spent the rest of the afternoon together. After binge watching a new season of Under The Knife , They went up to their bedroom.)


Bismuth: Today was perfect, baby


Pearl: I needed this, you know. Just a day alone, with you.


(They smiled and sat in silence for a bit. Lying on the bed, and thinking, of things that used to be.)


(The End)

Chapter Text


After feeding, A vampire needs to use hypnotism to wipe the victim's mind of the event.


  • Very hammy and extra about it
  • Hypnotizes her victims by singing a lullaby she learned from her mother
  • Very clean and precise.


  • Doesn't care about theatrics, just fucking bites people
  • Some of the cleaner members of the gang feel like her methods are gross
  • Sometimes eats deer and bunnies, instead of humans


  • Often drinks her blood from a wine glass
  • Uses Sapphire's powers of paralysis and hypnotism and Ruby's martial arts skills
  • Goes to bars for her blood


  • Bear hugs people before biting
  • Prefers to be out in the open
  • Favorite type of blood is negative b


  • Loves to psychologically scar her victims
  • She lurks in the shadows, laughing in the ears of her prey. Covers victim in cloak, then bites them
  • If friends or loved ones (Peridot) are in danger, Lapis will shapeshift into a demon batlike version of herself


  • Because of diminutive stature and academic prowess, she uses gadgets to help her gain blood
  • Her wife (Lapis) will help her at times. Peri usually hunts with Amethyst
  • Loves hunting at arcade


  • Hides in the alleyways and dark corners of Beach City
  • Uses her height and voice to intimidate potential victims
  • Used to team up with her twin sister Amethyst, when they were kids


  • You know Pennywise?, She's kinda like that, but non-lethal
  • Taunts people like Lapis, but also does weird clown illusions
  • Sometimes she transforms into her bat-form, and then bites someone


Favorite Music


Amethyst - Voltaire, 70s rock, and heavy metal

Peridot - Dubstep, 80's synth, ELO

Jasper - Old sea shanties, Viking war cries

Pearl - Classical music, Favorites are Bach, Mozart, and Chopin

Lapis - Pipe organ music, and strangely enough, 90s rock. (She just relates to it, I suppose.)

Bismuth - Russian communist music, 60s soul and folk

Garnet - 70s funk, chill lo-fi beats

Spinel - 20s and 30s music, jazz, electro-swing


Dark Secret

Amethyst - Has a job as an amateur wrestler. Her stage name is the Purple Puma. (The others know, but prefer to humour her.)

Pearl - Really likes screamo tunes. (Has an Ipod full of edgy rock shit, that Ipod is currently in a safe.)

Garnet - Forgets her friends last names. (and occasionally their first names. So she resorts to saying, "girl" and "you". She's working on it.)

Spinel - When they were 15, Spinel switched Garnet's shampoo to a cotton-candy hair dye. Garnet didn't really care, so the prank failed.

Lapis - Has an anonymous page on Wattpad, where she writes Camp Pining Hearts fanfiction. She's not as comfortable as Peri, when it comes to making fanfiction that is.

Bismuth - Wanted to be a pirate for a little bit. She even bought an eye-patch!

Peridot - Ordered an airstrike on an abandoned glitter factory. She has connections on the internet.

Jasper - Is a fan of Crying Breakfast Friends. (Lapis and Peridot will find out in a future chapter.)


That's all the facts for now. As always, let me know if you have any ideas for upcoming chapters!



Chapter Text

(Pumpkin opened her beady yellow eyes to the sight of Small Mama, tinkering in her lab. Pumpkin never understood why Small Mama spent so much time looking at glass and doing sciency things, but she didn't care. Small was her creator, the first face that Pumpkin saw. Besides her was Tall Mama. Tall was snuggling Small, they both seemed happy.)


Peridot: After 2 human years, I've finally done it! I've made a second creature!


(Deciding to get their attention, The orange dog let out a bark.)


Pumpkin: (Hello Mamas!)


Lapis: Oh good!. She's awake.


Peridot: Pumpkin! We want you to meet your new brother! We call him... Watermelon!


(A green melon dog clumsily fell onto the floor. It bounced up and toddled its way to Pumpkin.)


Watermelon: (Oh, greeting and salutations. As my mother of diminutive stature has said, my name is Watermelon.)


Pumpkin: (You use a lot of fancy words!, Are you my brother?)


Watermelon: (Well, I believe so. Is that alright with you?)


Pumpkin: (Yeah!, I'd love a bro. Want me to show you where I live?)


Watermelon: (Jolly good!)


(Pumpkin looked up at Tall Mama, with pleading eyes.)


Pumpkin: (Mama, Can I show my room to Melon?)


Peridot: Something tells me that these babies want to go to Pumpkin's room.


Lapis: Fine, just as long as they don't get into trouble.


Pumpkin: (Great!, Come on, bro!)


(The pets went to the bedroom, Pumpkin and Watermelon sat on a doggie bed, Pumpkin was glad to also have a new roommate. She found a photo book on Tall Mama's side of the bed. She showed it to Watermelon. The first picture was of Pearl.)


Pumpkin: (Here's the pointy one. She doesn't really like dogs, but she's nice.)


Watermelon: (Should I lick her face then?.)


Pumpkin: (She wouldn't let you. Trust me, I tried.)


(The next photo was of Amethyst.)


Watermelon: (Who's that?)


Pumpkin: (That's the one with the hat!. I like hanging out with her, sometimes she gives me treats that Tall Mama and Small Mama don't allow.)


Watermelon: (Tall Mama and Small Mama? What are you talking about?)


Pumpkin: (Small Mama's the one with the yellow hair. She made you! Just like she made me! Tall mama's the one that's always with her. She's got blue hair!


Watermelon: (So you recognize our parental figures by their height?)


Pumpkin: (Uh...sure!)


(They found a picture of Garnet and Jasper.)


Pumpkin: (The one on the left is the Cool One, the one on the right is Cheeto!)


Watermelon: (Are they nice?)


Pumpkin: (Cheeto doesn't like it when I try to sniff her. Cool One is nice, but I don't like Estelle.)


Watermelon: (Estelle?)


Pumpkin: (That's the name of her cat. Estelle is always acting superior to me, since she wasn't created in a lab.)


Watermelon: (Well that's not very kind, now is it?)


(They found pictures of Bismuth and Spinel, 


Pumpkin: (Nope! Anyway. The rainbow one taught me how to fetch, and the squeaky one likes to prank me!)


Watermelon: (Oh no! That doesn't sound good at all!)


Pumpkin: (Don't worry. It's nothing harmful. She just likes pulling jokes on me.)


Watermelon: (Forgive me, sister. But I feel.. what's the word... bored. Do you mind if we do something else?)


Pumpkin: (Oooh! We could chase our tails?)


Watermelon: (But why. Is it not useless to attempt? Our bodies are too stiff. We'd never be able to catch them!)


Pumpkin: (That's why it's fun, silly! Just try it, you'll like it.)


(Pumpkin started chasing her tail, with Watermelon soon joining in. He began to pant happily, barking with joy.)


Watermelon: (I say, this is riveting! What a delight!)


Pumpkin: (See? Told ya it was fun!)


(After their short burst of merriment, Pumpkin and Watermelon went back to the lab, ignoring the questions from their parents. They started sleeping, stacked on top of eachother, both dogs were happy about their new circumstance.)


(The End)




Chapter Text

TKL19 reporting in.


As I've been writing the Peculiar stories, I've had to realize something.


This wouldn't work in canon. 


Like it really strays from the show.


Ignoring the fact that the gems are now vampires, there's also the fact that the homeworld gems are perfectly okay hanging out with the CG's.


I know that they didn't actually meet as babies in the show, and that gems were never babies. 


Then the personalities come in.


I know that Lapis would probably be a bit more moody, and yeah it would've been easier to just make her a modern vampire like Edward or some shit, but damn it, this is better. I love me some cultured Dracula-esque vampires!


Bismuth and Spinel have issues with Pink Diamond/Rose, to say the least. Bismuth still had some problems with Rose in this fic, but nothing major.


This isn't really meant to be accurate to the series, it's just a fun romp with gay vampires, that occasionally deals with angst and shit. 


Also stay tuned for Episode 9 of Arrangement, coming out whenever I feel like finishing it.


P.S No roleplaying comments or OC stuff. Sry


Other than that, Have a great day, my peeps.