Jack looked down in annoyance at his (now former) PA dropped dead. This was the sixth or seventh one this month, he had honestly lost track at this point and was fed up with all the imbeciles he was forced to reside over.
This one had lasted slightly longer than the last ones by only a day, he had forgotten Jack's coffee (who knows how) and had shakily given Jack his own, that he had already drunk out of. He was Handsome fucking Jack he was NOT going to have some lowly employees, sugary to the point of instant diabetes, backwash frapmochochino shit concoction. It wasn't even 9 am and he already had a freaking headache.
Now he had to check himself when his meetings where, like a peasant! He was the freaking king of Hyperion, but actions have consequences and whatever other bullshit that saying says. As he grabbed his echo to call the cleaning crew his secretary (Margaret or Abigail he doesn't bother to care) says his next appointment is here.
"Who is it, Rachel?" Jack asked as Brittney sighed
"First off sir its Meg, I've been your secretary for almost a year now. Secondly, it's Hugo Vazquez, the Head of Programming. He needs your approval with some project."
"Don't get snippy with me cupcake I'll airlock you so fast you won't even have time to scream. I guess send him in and call the clean-up crew while you’re at it." He snapped back as he hung up.
He sat down in his golden throne and turned to stare at Elpis as he heard the department heads footstep come closer and closer. He whipped around before he was too close assassination attempts were always around the corner.
He looked down at the new person in his domain as Hugo stared down at the mess on his floor.
"Wallethead!! You’re the Head of Programming good for you princess! I see you got hair implants and I'm gonna be honest they look horrible. Your hair is like a grease ball now. Hahahahahahaha oh man you are always a good laugh Wallethead. Now I’m not in too great a mood I haven’t had my morning coffee thanks to this idiot. So, either start talking or you are going to join him.” Jack snickered as he glared at the slowly cooling coffee and blood leaking from the body.
Hugo’s eyes grow wide as he looks at Jack and his former PA decorating his floor.
“Umm, right sir I came to update you about the new elemental gun you asked us to collaborate with R&D to make by next month.” Hugo’s faux confidence back, annoyingly, he smoothed his over greasy and gelled hair as if his hair would fall out at any second. (Jack wouldn’t be entirely surprised if it did if he had to sit up on Wallethead’s bald skin all day he would pluck himself.)
“Oh yes! Finally, some good news, you said you needed something approved, anything you want. You need some more money for the project to consider it done kitten!” Jack exclaimed, finally something to start this horrible week kind of okay. His train of thought was sadly interrupted however as Wallethead had to open his big stupid mouth.
“Ah well, not exactly sir… you see we need a time extension. One of my employees messed up and they were one of the main on the project and our whole timetable has been thrown off. The R&D people are also not making the elements quick enough and…” A loud inhale and gasp noises soon followed the never-ending rambling of a new (soon to be dead) form of Jack’s problem and aggression.
“See here is the problem kiddo, Hyperion needs to stay on top, that gun was supposed to be our best seller for the next few months. That doesn’t work however if we don’t get to sell it in those months now, does it? Ugh, why am I surrounded by idiots,” He (reluctantly) let go of Wallethead’s throat and drew his pistol from his hip, “first my seventh PA this month now I’m gonna have to get a new head of programming? This is not how I wanted my day to start day pumpkin, but you are going to be an example because I am Handsome Jack, and when Handsome Jack asks you to do something in a certain amount of time then you do it. Capiche?” Jack asked not expecting or needing an answer.
“Wai-wai-wait! Sir, I can help you with the PA problem! Pl-plea-please sir we’ve been working on an AI as a surprise for the last few weeks. He should be ready in a week or two, being a PA should be an easy trial run!” Hugo shrieked out cowering and shaking as he kneeled on the floor at Jack’s feet silently begging as the second ticked on. Seconds turned to minutes as Jack thought of what the coward in front of him has said.
“An AI huh, sounds interesting princess. Tell me more also why you said to him?” Jack went around his desk and sat down gun still drawn just to be safe. He stared at Wallethead as he shakily stood in front of his desk and sat.
“Early on in the development, the AI made it clear that they were to be referred to as he and nothing else, not it or a thing. Trust it is very… persnickety, we are working on trying to get rid of most of the more difficult portions of its ever-developing personality.” Hugo grunted out coughing every once in a while, due to his throats recent abuse.
“Hmmm, well Wallethead looks like you can do a few things right. You get a week and I want the AI, however, it is at that time. I’ll fix it myself if need be,” Hugo's eyes grew wide and nervousness was obvious in his face.
“I don’t care how not done it, … he is I want him by next Monday first thing. You understand, you better be able to keep this deadline, or I’ll scalp you and use your Wallethead as an actual wallet and then airlock you, so I never have to see your ugly mug again. You are dismissed for now cupcake.” Jack threatened and continued his work glancing up as Hugo stood and quickly walked out of his office.
“Wallethead,” Hugo stopped dead in his tracks and turned to look at his murderous boss, “you said he already has a personality,” Hugo nodded, “has he given himself a name?”
Hugo scowled slightly and nodded again.
“Yes, sir he has.” Jack rolled his eyes and groaned loudly, “Well don’t leave me hanging here kiddo what is it?”
“He named himself Rhys sir.” Hugo turned and briskly walked the rest of the way out of the room and closed the door.