if yoongi knew how to control it he would.
but the forces of the avatar state are more complicated that anyone could understand. it's not just the ability to enter the state, but to be conscious and aware of what he is doing and who he is doing it to. there are stories of former avatars losing control, losing sight of what is right and wrong and overwhelmed with emotion, essentially wiping out everything in their path.
the avatar state is where yoongi is at his most powerful, combining the abilities and strengths of all former avatars into one body at a moments notice. that much power is unstoppable, but it can become overwhelming for the host and their control can slip, sending the greatest powers of the world into chaos and panic.
yoongi never wants to be the cause of destruction, never wants to be the reason people are suffering.
he has only been in the avatar state a few times, the spiritual state being brought on by long meditation cycles or intense focus. it's strange- to be aware of where he is, but not having the awareness or experience to be fully conscious in those moments. the first few times he had entered it were short and uneventful; it was like his body and mind were confused and scared, too unsure to make anything happen. yoongi has never voluntarily left the avatar state, always having someone pull him out before the anxiety shows itself in dangerous ways.
the last time yoongi entered the avatar state was his worst nightmare come to life.
"UGH!" another fire blast hits the rock, illuminating the cove and scorching the stone a deep black. "I don't understand why I can't get this?!" yoongi's chest heaved, body hunched over with his hands on his knees.
"you're putting too much power into it," yoongi looked over to where jimin was standing. "fire is spontaneous and bright, but air is subtle in nature and is often unnoticed." the sand moves in between jimin's toes as he glides across the small shore towards the rock they have been using as a target.
still out of breath, yoongi straightens up to observe jimin's movements. he was careful with how he lines up his feet and arranges his hands beside one another in front of him. one large breath in and jimin's right arm swivels behind him, dragging a gust of wind with his fingers; his hands reconnect sending a strong blast of air towards the rock, strong enough to strip the black mark yoongi's hit left behind.
"it sounds cleshé, but the power comes from how much you center yourself." jimin's eyes linger to the left of yoongi's shoulder, his hands lowering to fully complete the technique he just demonstrated. "why don't you try again?"
"try again?" yoongi's brows pinch together and he scoffs. "I don't think trying again is going to fix the fact that i can't get the move correct." his hands are on his hips and he's sweaty. they have been training for hours now; jimin constantly fixing and tweaking yoongi's stance and movements, insisting that yoongi do the same move over and over again. saying that he's completing the movements, but they aren't 'enough' or 'too much'. "you've been nitpicking everything i try today, i'm not up for more scolding."
"yoongi," jimin sighs, his shoulders slumping. "i'm not nitpicking anything! I wouldn't have you redo everything, if you could just let go of what you think you know about bending and just listen to what i'm saying." he boosts himself over onto a nearby patch of grass and sits down.
"im listening!" his hands flew into the air in frustration, "im trying to listen. I don't know what i'm doing is any different than what you are." the sand is sticking to his ankles and despite the shade the cove is giving, the setting sun is now beating on his back. yoongi is tired, he just wants to stop for today and go take a nap, do something else for the last few hours of daylight.
the last few days have been so long. every waking hour, yoongi has been training. yesterday was hoseok showing him how to move sand like a solid piece of earth, where yoongi's attempt ending in just moving the beach three feet to the left. two days before that, namjoon wanted him to learn how to make air bubbles to breathe underwater, but by sunset all yoongi had accomplished was almost drowning. the day after the water debacle, jimin tried to show yoongi how to make mini tornadoes and yoongi ended up scattering their campsite, along with a sleeping seokjin, across the valley.
"just try, okay?" jimin dug his toes into the grass and sent a little gust of wind into yoongi's face, clearing his bangs away from his eyes. yoongi scowled towards him and grumbled as he righted his feet and brought his hands up. he could see jimin sticking his tongue out from the corner of his eye.
"move your shoulder back quickly, straighten your fingers-,"
yoongi takes a deep breath, willing his body to cooperate and just bend the damn air.
"and just push the air as hard as you can."
he pulls his shoulders back, raking the sid of his hand through the air behind him, pulling the gust back towards his hands, both back to his chest and again out in front of him as fast as possible. he can feel the residual air flow past his ears and watches as the sand below the rock scutter away. its barely thirty seconds before jimin speaks again.
"you shoulders are good," yoongi looks to the side to watch his bending teacher. "but your hands could use more work."
the scowl is back on yoongi's face. he can feel his palm warm next to his thighs. nothing he does is good enough. it seemed like every little thing yoongi tried was destined to fail. every move, every technique, every stupid element hated him and he couldn't figure out a way to control anything. the more he tried to practice, the worse he would get. yoongi was tired and frustrated, he just wants to stop- stop training, stop bending, maybe even stop this whole avatar thing.
"is nothing i do good enough?" his hands twist into fists, with the conscious choice to ignore the steam wafting off them. "every little thing I do is ridiculed: "oh you foot landed weird,” “your hands aren't together,” “don't think too much about it." whats wrong with my hands now? they're not 'pushy' enough for you, huh?" yoongi js leaning forward a bit now, glaring at jimin. just daring the boy to have somebody to say back.
"actually," jimin moves his eyes to look right at yoongi's face, his normal calm gray irises now almost a stormy black. "they came apart on your forward thrust. if you paid any attention to what im telling you, then you would have noticed that." jimin looks away when he's done speaking. yoongi notices his fingers are twisted in his shawl, visibly annoyed at what yoongi said.
"oh you don't think I'd notice it?" yoongi rolls his eyes and looks up at the sky. "you hear that everyone? I can't pay attention to something going on two feet in front of me, isn't that great?" the sarcasm is dripping from his mouth, covering his words. he looks back at jimin, who is refusing to look at him.
"just pile that problem on top of the other fifty things I can't do." yoongi starts listing them on his fingers. "I can't bend earth, treat sand like water, can't keep water from my damn lungs, can't stop a puny gust of wind from launching my friend half a mile across a field, and NOW-"
jimin flinches at his last word, yoongi now right in front of him. the water in the sand evaporating under yoongi's feet.
"I can't keep my hands together!"
the sun is making the water shimmer, but it's gone still with silence. the birds from earlier in the session aren't chirping anymore. everything's stop.
it doesn't seem like jimin's going to say anything. with yoongi a few inches from his face, his breath is hot against yoongi's chin, his eyes still stormy and his hands gripping his thighs. yoongi searches the boys face for anything, anything that would contradict what yoongi believes jimins thinks of him, what everyone else thinks of him.
he comes up with nothing.
as yoongi resigns himself to a failed session, a failed week of training, and starts to step away, he feels the anger start to taper into something else. something more like disappointment, but hotter, more throthy, somewhere in the bottom of his chest.
a faint grunt come from behind him.
"I thought princes were taught better manners," yoongi swivels back towards jimin, his steely eyes almost searing holes in the grass yoongi was just standing in. "or did you give up before they could teach you that part?" he tilts his head to the side, jimin's voice turning almost mocking in a way.
"excuse me?" yoongi is astonished. he doesn't talk about his past with any of their group, only saying little details here. most of the group gets that yoongi doesn't like to talk about it, leaving his royal status out of conversation. "I didn't give up, jimin," he squares his shoulders. "and even if i did, i don't have to explain myself to you."
yoongi's past the point of being overwhelmed, past the point of trying to be civil. he knows he's not perfect, knows that he can't get everything right. his childhood spent as prince of the fire nation having ingrained the thought that if he wasn't perfect, that if he didnt bend perfectly, that he wasn't fit to bend at all.
the past week has just reinforced that mindset for yoongi. everything he tried went wrong, so why try at all. but he didn't give up. if he gave up, then he wouldn't even be arguing with jimin in the first place, would have let his parents hide his avatar status, so they could have a proper heir to the throne. so they could have a normal son with normal duties, who could be controlled by them. yoongi doesn't give up.
"well with the amount of arrogance you just spat my way, i say you do." jimin is standing now, stomping up to yoongi. "im trying to help you and all you do is ridicule the way I teach."
yoongi's hands are back in fists. steam is wafting around them now, as yoongi's energy is amping the temperature around them.
"from the way i look at it," jimin puts his hands on his hips, "you are too stuck in your poor princy ways, that if you can't see past the fog in your brain to listen to anyone around here!"
he can't think of anything to fire back with, its like yoongi's brain is being boiled. every thought being whisked away before he can actually act on it. his arms are trembling, the sand under their feet is shifting, getting hot to the touch.
"I know how you got namjoon to be your bending master." jimin twirls around, his shawl following a second behind, and starts pacing. "you didn't think a healer could know more about water bending than you already did. taehyung told me-"
"leave taehyung out of this, jimin" if yoongi was calmer, he would notice small sparks under his feet. little holes appearing at the bottom on his pants.
"taehyung told me that he had to beg namjoon to teach you." jimin stops in front of yoongi and roughly pokes yoongi's bare chest. "he had to beg namjoon. had to beg his father to let him take you to the north pole too."
"jimin, shut up. you don't know what you're talking about-"
"seems like you had given up then too." jimin crosses his arms over his chest. "just a sad prince that doesn't know how to control his hands or his mouth," the ground under yoongi's feet was ablaze now, but neither noticed. "always needing someone to fix the shit he breaks, huh?"
if jimin could see, he would have noticed yoongi's eye flickering. the heat by his feet could have gone unnoticed, but the white glow flickering across yoongi's eyes would have been unmistakable.
he didn't know how to feel, didn't know what he was already feeling, but yoongi was mad. angry at himself, because he knows that what jimin is saying is false, rationally he knows that he asked taehyung to take him to the north pole, rationally he knows that what he said to namjoon was wrong and that they had made up. but he's too overwhelmed right now to tell his mind that.
"you don't know anything about me." he sounds distorted to his own ears but he doesn't seem to care, too confused and angry and scared at what's happening to him.
yoongi hates what's coming out of jimins mouth, wants to burn the words, wants to drown them in the lake, want to bury them under their campsite, wants to watch as they split apart by the force of the wind. he's having a hard time controlling his hands, stopping them from shoot balls of fire at jimin, just to stop him from saying anymore.
"sure I do!" jimin throws his hands in the air. "your yoongi, prince of the fire nation." he points across the small gap between them. "the boy who can't control his temper-"
the wind starts picking up, stronger than it should be in the cove, whipping yoongi's bangs into his eyes and around his ears.
"quit it." he growls the words. yoongi's voice cracks and groans, starting to layer. his eyes now more white than their once deep brown.
"can't control his bending-"
the once still water a few feet away is now rough with high waves, slowly creeping towards their ankles. the water that splashes near yoongi evaporates before it can touch him.
"and can't help himself or anyone around him,"
the rock that yoongi scorched earlier is now cracking, splintering down the middle and falling into the sparse grass below.
"stop it, jimin." he doesn't sound like himself, his voice now deep and frayed, his own voice buried under a hundred other. steam is now thick around yoongi's face, every breath he lets out contributing to the fog.
"and now you can't even keep your hands together."
"I SAID STOP IT." if yoongi was conscious, he would have noticed the tears slip past his eyes as his hands lift to blast jimin off his feet. he sends the boy rolling onto his back, the air being forced out of his chest with a gasp.
the wind is harsh now, circling yoongi like his own cyclone. his hands are ablaze now, fire engulfing his hands and travelling up his arms. yoongi is breathing hard as he bends the broken rock to sand, what's left being swept up into the wind around them.
jimin is shocked, confused at what just happened. he doesn't know how to react. he's never been around yoongi like this, doesn't understand why yoongi attacked him. he closes his eyes, feeling the particles of sand scratch at his face.
he feels something burst hot next to his hip and can only assume yoongi had sent a fire blast his way.
he hears a voice, deep and broken, like ten people are speaking at once- he hears a voice but he doesn't know what it's saying. can only guess that it's yoongi, can only guess that along with the voice that yoongi has slipped into losing control of his bending.
jimin shuffles back when he feels the sand move in front of him. can feel the once light steps yoongi takes turn heavy as the avatar walks towards him. he manages to get to his feet before yoongi can reach him, turns towards the rock and struggles to propel himself from rock to rock.
he can feel the heat behind him as yoongi shoots fire from his feet to chase after him. the flames from yoongi's hands lick jimin's feet and he yells out in pain. his heels feel like they were dunked in ice, almost numb when they hit the next rock. the wind is displaced now, no longer trapped in the small coves now that yoongi has followed jimin out.
"seokjin!" jimin screams at the top of his lungs, while he struggles to run back to camp. "help, please-!" he doesn't want to turn back, doesn't want to feel yoongi's fire or have sand in his face again.
he trips over the small dips in the land and cries out with every step. the grass feels like glass against his feet. jimin can't tell how close he is to camp, not with this much adrenaline in his system. he keeps screaming for help, for seokjin or taehyung or even namjoon to come help him.
"-min?" he hears a faint call of his name and it just urges him faster.
yoongi is following him, slowly now, like he's just walking. but jimin can still feel the heat from the flames against his neck. it's scaring him, more frightening than anything he's experienced. he can't breathe, he can't feel his feet, and he can't tell where he is.
"-min! jimin!" he trips once more, falling forward, but is caught against a body. "holy crap, jimin what's happening? what's wrong?"
it was seokjin, jimin could tell my his voice. he sounds scared, almost, and if not, more than jimin already felt. he leaned against seokjin's shoulder while the man searched him for any injuries.
he couldn't catch his breath. jimin felt like he had run a mile, his feet hurt and his knees are starting to bruise from tripping on his scramble to camp.
"are you hurt?"
he can still feel the residual heat from yoongi, against the sides of his face and down is back. his head is spinning.
"why are your feet blistering?!"
"something happened during-,"
jimin doesn't know where yoongi is, but he can hear the crackling of fire and the snapping of branches. they are getting faint.
"seokjin!" jimin managed to capture seokjin's hands, stopping him from touching his feet or searching his shawl for other injuries. the worried man abruptly went silent. "something happened during training- I don't know how, but yoongi and i started fighting-" jimin can hear more quick steps in front of him.
"seokjin! jimin?" its hoseok who speaks. jimin doesn't answer him, still holding seokjin's hands.
"i couldn't- I mean yoongi, he was-" jimin's face scrunched up as pain shot up his legs, the soles of his feet numb but pulsating nonetheless. "I shouldn't have- oh god," he started to tear up, the memories of his words making him feel sick to his stomach. "seokjin I said such awful things-"
"jimin, slow down." namjoon was by his hip. "what happened?"
he took one deep breath. and turned slightly to the right.
"yoongi's in the avatar state."
it's quiet for a few seconds. jimin can't hear yoongi anymore, it makes him incredibly worried. even with all the things jimin yelled at him, yoongi is still learning and he's vulnerable in the avatar state.
"what do you mean "he's in the avatar state ``?''
jimins heart breaks. yoongi and taehyung are so close, had spent years upon years together, telling secrets. he wishes he would have just shut up so taehyung didn't have to see his best friend in so much pain.
"i-" jimin hesitates, doesn't want to admit that he is the cause of this. "something happened during training, I should have been paying attention. it just happened."
there's a scream, somewhere in the valley. they all turn to the patch of trees. the small group can see treetops ablaze, birds are fleeting from the commotion. the sun had set, the valley is now illuminated by the blinding red and orange flames leading a trail to the small village across the way.
jimin can feel seokjin take his hands away, moving jimin so his feet are in front of him. he winces when the soft grass brushes the blistered skin. he can hear seokjin tell hoseok to go get jungkook from the river, then his presence moves away. the scene in the cove keeps repeating in jimin's head. he-he called yoongi spoiled, told him how he "gave up", made him feel guilty for nothing, and now yoongi is out of control, fueled by emotion and adrenaline. he knows that his guilt won't leave any time soon.
a burst of cool water on his feet makes jimin startle. it's only namjoon though, so he calms his racing heart. he focuses on the tingling feeling on his skin, rather than the faint screams and the rumbling of the ground.
"seokjin," namjoon moves his hands up to jimin's knees. "we have to go stop yoongi, try to get him out of the avatar state. take hoseok and jungkook with you, I'll join you as soon as jimin is settled."
seokjin nods, eyes flickering to jimin in worry. that was his boy. a few seconds later, hoseok and jungkook come running up. they spend a few seconds going over a sliver of a plan and then seokjin is leading the way into the brush towards what they can only assume is yoongi.
namjoon turns towards taehyung, the boy having not looked away from the horrific scene across the valley. "taehyung-"
"should I get my sword?" his eyes are pleading, glossy; namjoon can see his hands shake.
"stay here with jimin when I leave." namjoon looks away. he knows what yoongi is to taehyung, knows how much they both care about each other. they shouldn't have to see each other like this.
"but namjoon-!" the fire nation boy drops down on the other side of jimin, watches namjoons face while he works. his brows are creased in confusion. "I can help. hoseok has been showing me some things and-"
"taehyung." namjoons eyes squeezed shut, his white hair falls into his face. it almost glows in the fire light. he hears the roar of fire as the other three reach yoongi. the ground shakes as hoseok and jungkook try to distract yoongi away from the village yoongi was on the verge of destroying. "you have to stay here."
water is now completely covering jimin's feet, its glowing bright white. namjoon is trying to work fast, but yoongi must have been incredibly close to make this much damage. he knows that the avatar state isn't really yoongi, that the power of the avatar takes over his body and mind, but it's so, so hard to believe that even with no control that yoongi could do all this.
he peers up at taehyung. the boy has his hand clutching jimins, intertwining their fingers. he doesn't seem like he is going to fight anymore, but the twist of his lips lets namjoon know that he isn't happy. namjoon wishes this wasn't happening. for yoongi's sake and taehyungs.
the sounds of the fight is getting closer, the wind is picking up. namjoon can hear the snapping of branches and the yells of his friends.
"namjoon." its quite, but namjoon turns towards jimin to see the boys checks wet, shining bright from the light of his healing. "please go help them," he squeezes taehyung's hand. "we will be fine here."
the healing process isn't done, there are still a few layers of skin that are burnt, the nerves raw. his eyes shift from jimin to taehyung, who gives a curt nod, and then he turns his head towards the burning trees. he can see yoongi's attacks through the light trees. the two earth benders are trying to get a hold of yoongi's feet, get him immobilized. seokjin seems to be in the trees, high above yoongi, creating vortexes around parts of yoongi's arms to snuff out the flames.
its not working. yoongi is shooting fire into the air, aiming for seokjin, barely missing him. his arms aren't extinguishing, but rather only getting bigger from all the excess oxygen. the pillars of rock the boys are shooting up at him are just crumbing as soon as yoongi notices them, rock raining down on the earth benders.
namjoon's hands stop their work when a slab of stone lands against jungkook's shoulder. the boy screams, clutching the now bleeding joint and leans against a tree. hoseok hesitates a second too long and the grass around him ignites in flame from a strong ring of fire yoongi sends his way.
"namjoon please!" jimin is clutching namjoons tunic, pushing the man towards the sounds of carnage. "help them!"
namjoon is stunned at the burning inferno in front of him and scrambles to the tree line, trying to figure out how to help others and stop yoongi from getting closer to taehyung and jimin. he looks at the lush plants near the edge of the clearing and at the long grass around his feet. spreading his hands out to his sides and completing a quick three sixty while crouching low to the ground, namjoon gathers as much water from the plants around him. the water trickles up his arms and around his shoulders. namjoon begins towards the fight.
the two boys are alone in the clearing. jimin is clutching taehyung's hand and trying not to sob at the terror in his heart. he isn't scared of yoongi, but scared that they won't be able to stop him and the avatar will have to wear himself out before any of the destruction ends. he did this, he dragged yoongi to the cliff and then pushed him over; jimin will never be able to get yoongi's voice out of his head. the cracking, deep, monstrous voice that came out of his friend will always be there. jimin can't stop shaking.
beside him, taehyung is stiff, clutching jimin's hand; the only thing that's stopping him from running towards yoongi. he wasn't afraid, he wasn't, but his heart won't stop beating. his eyes are flitting from jungkook's bleeding shoulder, to hoseok doubling over coughing in the fire, to seokjin missing a branch and falling to land on his back on another a few feet down. namjoon is just a few feet way, running towards yoongi.
taehyung has never seen his friend like this, this out of control. yoongi was always open with him, always willing to let out everything before it got bottled up. but now his eyes are blowing, like two searchlights in the dark of night. he bellows out a grunt with every column of fire he sends out. his booming voice makes taehyung ears pop, making his bones vibrate and his stomach drop even lower than that yell.
it's all too much; his friends are losing, breaking, jimin is out for the count, and taehyung can't bend, can't do squat while his friends are in pain. all the while the person he thought of as a brother is the one who is hurting them. yoongi is the one to smash jungkook's shoulder, to suffocate hoseok, and to break seokjin.
taehyung can do anything.
and that's terrifying.
the fire won't go out. namjoon is trying to help, but the fire won't go out. hoseok now unconscious in the small circle of grass, the fire growing higher and thicker. jungkook is on the ground, his arm now streaked dark red, he can't bend. seokjin is grunting, shifting and slipping off of the branch he landed on.
the hurricane that is yoongi heads towards the air nomad, ready to seal the deal. namjoon sends a quick whip of water across yoongi's thigh. the blue eyes snapped around like an owl, staring daggers into namjoon. a lick of fear slides down his spine and for a split second namjoon is petrified.
the wind shifts, the trees bend, and namjoon stares into yoongi's eyes. they are hollow, empty, flat; too much energy to make out the real yoongi behind the blinding light. too much anger to see where the avatar ends and where yoongi begins.
a ball of fire is shot at namjoons head and he ducks, the bush behind him explodes into a scorching fire. namjoons watches as the leaves shrivel and die instantly. he whipps back around when he hears another deep grunt and a strong wind knocks him off his feet.
namjoons ears ring from the impact in his head makes against a tree trunk.
thats when taehyung moves.
his eyes are foggy and his hair is a mess in front of his eyes, white strands sweaty and in clumps. he can see a tall silhouette at the edge of the trees. the roar of fire and the howl of wind, and the constant ringing stuffing his ears drowns out the screams from jimin and taehyung. yoongi's back faces him, three other of their friends forgotten behind them.
there's nothing he can do, there's nothing any of them can do to help. yoongi is too much for them to handle. he's too out of control. there's nothing namjoon can do that stops yoongi, helps his friends, and doesn't hurt yoongi in the process. namjoon watches as yoongi gets closer to the silhouette, the fire up his arms growing larger, bright, hotter. everything is foggy, but namjoon brushes his hair out of his eyes and begins to make out who yoongi has his eyes set on.
taehyung is standing firmly at the tree line, sword in hand and his hair flying around in yoongi's cyclone. he's yelling something, but namjoon can hear him. but he can see the tears streaking down taehyung's face. the boy is sobbing through his standoff, disobeying namjoon and facing yoongi with nothing but a sword and his fists. it won't help, but taehyung doesn't care.
"-op this, please! I know you aren't this!"
yoongi is getting closer to his friend. embers from the fire are swirling around yoongi, flecks of light landing and lifting form every surface. the avatar doesn't stop moving forward, locking eyes with his best friend, gearing up to attack.
namjoon cant watch his happen. he can't. these are his friends. the open he's chosen to spend months with, kids who should still be with their families, boys who only want to help people. namjoon can watch everything fall apart.
a thought trickles into his head and his heart stops.
its evil, wrong. not worth another breath spent thinking about it. but- but seokjin is screaming at taehyung to run, to just go back to jimin and take them both far away. he can hear jimin sobbing, seeing his friends crumble against each other. yoongi wont. stop. they all know he can't stop, he's not in control.
and namjoon could help, with one awful, despicable thought, namjoon could help.
he pushes himself off the moss covered ground. taehyung keeps taking steps back, away from yoongi. yoongi keeps drifting forward. namjoon reaches out his hands, closes his eyes.
takes one large, painful breath, and bends all he has left.
it's like the air stops. but seconds later, it actully does. the harsh wind slows to nothing in an instant. the fire is bright behind his eyes, but namjoon knows what's happening.
he can feel the natural fight that the blood has, the resistance of free will is hard to break. seokjin has stopped screaming, taehyung is silent, just deep breaths and the roaring fire. then-
a deep guttural scream arrupts from yoongi, his eyes flicker shut and the fire up his arms dwindle as namjoon twists his wrists.
"what are you doing.." namjoons arms shake as he listens to taehyung's confused voice. "namjoon, no-" yoongi's body twists in defiance of namjoons will, flailing in pain and confusion. "namjoon, stop it," taehyung's voice is hurt, small, full of fear. it cracks out into a full sob as he watches yoongi's body move involuntarily. "stop it namjoon!"
namjoon moves to neal, slowly shifting his arms down and bringing yoongi's body with him. his eyes open, taehyungs and yoongi's shared agony is all he can see. the avatar is still screaming, but the fire is completely out, yoongi's bending snuffed by namjoons. taehyung has crumbled to the ground, his sword tossed to the side, his nails digging into the scorched dirt.
he's horrified that this comes so natural to him, that it’s almost like second nature to blood bend yoongi's body into submission. after this is all over, namjoons never wants to feel this power again.
"namjoon! please-" its almost over, the light of yoongi's eyes is dimming rapidly. just a little more and then it's all over. "please please, stop it- you're hurting him! can't you see that?"
yoongi's body goes limp, namjoon can sense his body give into namjoons bending. he watches as his closest friend drops a few feet to the ground as he falls unconscious from the force of leaving the avatar state. no more glowing, no more fire, no more bending.
namjoon falls forward as taehyung surges to gather yoongi in his arms. the fire nation prince, loose limbed and limp as his brother scoops him into his arms. taehyung is crying, sobbing into yoongi's shoulder. yoongi's torso is covered in soot, hot to the touch, but taehyung doesn’t care. he looked so in pain, in agony while being controlled. taehyung could see the pain in his face as his body twisted and contorted into strange shapes. he was caught off guard, thrown into the will of yet another person and his body just couldn’t handle it.
it feels like his body is on fire. every cell is screaming and aching, burning him alive he feels hollow, empty, disgusting. that was so wrong, so wrong on so many levels. that technique was ancient, written and cataloged in history books. the only way namjoon found out about it is from studying. he never, never thought that he would ever use it. he feels like his body is turning inside out, yelling at him, telling him he’s a bastard for what he did. the sobs from taehyung that reach his ears don’t make his feel at all better.
he stays like that, curled into himself for what feels like hours. he hears seokjin safely land near hoseok, clearing his airways. hoseok's coughs are raspy, they sound like they are tearing his throat apart. the harsh crunch of leaves as seokjin makes his way to jungkook is unbearable. taehyung still hasn’t stopped crying.
he hears jimin questioning shouts. pleading for someone, anyone, to tell him what happened. are they save? is yoongi okay? what happened to seokjin, please seokjin answer him. there are tears joining the scorched leaves under namjoon. soft trails make way down his cheeks and drip from his chin; his shoulders won’t stop shaking.
“...namjoon…” its soft by his ear, a hand is at is lower back. “namjoon, he’s fine.” seokjin is always so forgiving. always so quick to make up and solve problems. they all rely on him in some way, all connect with him in someway. but namjoon doesn’t think seokjin gets it right now. namjoon, he- he controlled someone; made their body morph and crack, he made his best friend scream in pain, bended his blood because he couldn’t think of anything better. you don’t come back from that.
his breath came out shaking, short bursts as he willed his lungs to not collapse in on themselves. he slowly moved to sit up, never raising his head. seokjin’s hand moved to tangle into the course knots of hair at the back of his neck. the air was stale, thick. namjoon felt suffocated.
“please,” he couldn’t speak, too choked up to form words. “please tell me i didn’t kill him.” seokjin's face fell at that, namjoon could feel his fingers tightened in his hair. but namjoon needed to know, he needed to know that the worst didn't happen. his hand moved to grasp seokjin's knee, squeezing. “just tell me.”
“you,” hesitation, “you didn’t namjoon, you could never.” namjoon heard more footsteps. a few yells back and forth between jungkook and jimin, but below everything was taehyung's soft murmuring. the soft nothings being whispering into yoongi’s chest.