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Skull watched intently as you set up the Ouija board.  It looked like you’d finally figured out that there was something weird about the house, and were actually trying to talk to them.  That was better than most of the past humans. They either ignored them until they couldn’t anymore, or hired an Exorcist or something.  Jerks.

The other poltergeists were trying to decide who would get to talk to you, by angrily shouting at each other.  It sure was a good thing you couldn’t hear them. Skull rolled his eye light as he watched their verbal battle.

“why should you get to talk to her first, huh?  you don’t even like her!” Red argued.

“because i’m not gonna try and flirt with her via ouija board, dumbass,” Sans countered.

“hey, i can take things seriously!  sometimes…”

Skull huffed as easily separated the two.  “rock paper scissors,” he suggested. The other two stared at him, like they were shocked that they hadn’t thought of that.

Um, hi there.  I’m Y/N. Is anyone here?” your voice broke the silence.

“okay, skull and red go and then i’ll play the winner,” Sans offered.

“why do you get to play the winner?” Red whined.

“just do it,” Skull rumbled.

They started the battle.  They both played scissors first.  The second round, Red threw out scissors again, while Skull played rock.  Red grumbled but accepted his fate.

Skull started playing Sans.  Skull played scissors again, but paused when he saw what Sans had done.


“no one said we couldn’t,” Sans taunted, showing off his finger gun that he’d made.

Having to follow the sacred rules of rock paper scissors, it looked like Sans was the one to talk to you.  You were starting to look bored with the lack of response you’d gotten, until Sans started to move the planchette to “NO.”  All three of the ghosts chuckled, Sans a lot more smugly than the others.

“...So, there’s nobody here.  Nobody moved the planchette. You think you’re some kind of wise guy?”  Sans snorted and moved it to “YES,” earning another fit of giggles from the three stooges.

You seemed to think it was pretty funny too, judging from the cute little snort you let out.  “Alright, well, is there anything you want to tell me?” you asked.

“ooh, ooh, let me answer this one!” Red begged, trying to yank the planchette away from Sans.

“no way, I won fair and square,” Sans countered, trying to regain control.

“no you didn’t,” Skull muttered.

“come on, it’s important!” Red tried again to pull the planchette away from Sans.  The two fought for a few seconds more until Red was victorious.

“ha!  sucker!” Red gloated as he started to spell out his message.  To no one’s surprise, his message was “N-I-C-E-A-S-S.”

Sans face palmed as Red cackled.  Skull paused for a moment as he spelled it out in his mind.  Then he gave a little chuckle.

“’re right.”

“thank you.  see, someone else has taste around here,” Red said pointedly at Sans.

You blushed a little.  “Nice ass? What? Are you saying you have a nice ass?” you asked.

Red snorted again as he moved the planchette to “NO.”

“Are you saying I have a nice ass?” you questioned, face lighting up a little more.

Red cheered and circled the word “YES.”

You were practically a tomato now.  “Um, thanks, I guess. That’s nice of you to say.”  You cleared your throat, obviously trying to get things back on track.  “I had a reason for talking to you though, not to flirt. I was wondering if it’s okay that I live here.  I know you’re probably the one who made the previous owners leave, and I’d rather not have to pack everything back up, ha.  It’s a real pain, you know?”

Skull couldn’t wait anymore.  You were such a sweet human, freeing them from the attic, putting the band-aid on his doll’s head, helping that little girl earlier, asking if you could stay rather than just assuming.  He needed to tell you right now.  That and the others got their turn, it was his turn to make you laugh and blush.

He pulled the planchette away from Red in one fell swoop, with only minimal argument.  He started to spell out a word, slowly and methodically, like how he spoke. “A-N-G-E-L.”

You seemed a little confused.  “Angel? Is that your name or something?  Are you an angel?” Silly human, he was the opposite, too tainted to be anything like you.

“NO.  U-R-A-N-G-E-L,” he spelled.  No need to waste time on pointless letters.

That adorable blush of yours returned.  Skull smiled softly. That was such a cute expression on you.  He wanted to see it more often. “You think I’m an angel? That’s very sweet, but I’m just a human.  Nothing special,” you argued. Skull couldn’t have that.

He circled the “NO,” getting faster as he grew more confident.  He was amazed that the others hadn’t tried to take the planchette back.  “U-H-E-L-P-E-D-M-E. H-E-L-P-O-T-H-E-R-S,” he pointed out. In all his unearthly life, no one had been as kind to him as you had been.

You seemed to be getting even more flustered, to Skull’s immense satisfaction.  “Um, thanks,” you laughed awkwardly. “But for real though,” back to business, “is it okay if I stay here?  You aren’t going to try to kick me out are you?”

Skull looked at the other two poltergeists for their verdict.  He already knew that Red wanted you to stay, if only so he could ogle you longer.  So really, the final decision was on Sans.

Sans looked back and forth between Skull and Red.  Finally, he sighed, knowing he was outvoted. “fine, she can stay.”

Red cheered and Skull grinned.  He eagerly moved the planchette to say, “YES. S-T-A-Y.”

You seemed as happy as Red and Skull were.  You laughed happily, the most beautiful smile Skull had ever seen gracing your features.  “Thank you so much!” You seemed to remember something. “Oh yeah! If we’re going to be living together, oh wait, is that rude?  Shoot, I guess you’re not living, wow, I feel so insensitive.” This earned a hearty round of laughter from all three of them. They didn’t care if you used the word “lived,” but it was nice of you to care.  Anyway, if we’re...sharing the house, I should probably know your name. Can you tell me?”

That was sweet of you to ask, Skull thought.  He knew you were perfect. He started spelling his name until the other two started fighting over it too.  They wrestled the planchette away from each other, making it land on random letters. You watched the planchette with rapt, yet confused attention, doing your best to make a name out of their fight.

“Uh, shit, okay, your name is Srkujeidual.  Is that right?” That made all of the skeletons stop in their tracks.  They looked at each other in silence for a moment. Then they all burst into laughter.  How did you even say that out loud?

Skull decided to take pity on you and clear some stuff up.  He took control of the planchette again, spelling out, “M-O-R-E-T-H-A-N-1.”

You started to look nervous.  “More than one? There’s more than one of you?”


You swallowed.  “How many are there?”

“make her guess, it’ll be funny!” Red jeered.  Skull pointedly ignored him. He answered honestly, with “3.”

You sighed happily, looking incredibly relieved.    “Thank god. I was scared there was, like, a thousand of you.  Three’s not too bad. Can you each spell out your names? If you’re all here?”

“okay, okay, let’s take turns i guess,” Sans suggested.  Skull nodded, then answered yes and spelled out his name, followed by Red and Sans.

Your beautiful face crinkled in confusion.  “Skull, Sans, and Red, huh? Why does that sound so familiar…”

“i have an idea,” Sans said.  “trust me on this, everything’s gonna be fine, just tell her to turn around.”  Then he vanished.

Skull decided to just do as Sans said.  Sans’s plans usually turned out well. He slowly told you to turn around, watching as Sans stumbled down the stairs, possessing his doll.  So that was his plan.  Sans positioned himself behind you, looking up at you with eager eye lights.

You read the message that Skull had spelled, your eyes growing wide with horror.  You shivered in fear, and Skull didn’t blame you. That was a freaky message for anyone to read coming from a Ouija board.

Slowly, you turned your head.  Nothing happened for a moment until you looked down, freezing in horror as you spotted Sans.  The two of you stared at each other for a moment, your jaw looking like a stiff breeze could knock it off.

Sans grinned awkwardly.  “hey.”