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i killed god

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richie: one day i will take a video of me pissing all over my mic and you will all be forced to not only watch but listen.

bev: sounds hot

bill: hey

bill: pissing on feet >

eddie: come to ur house for ur piss

ben: come to my house for fuit gummy

mike: come to my house and eat my dogs and cat

richie: come to my house to drink my fresh piss i know u wanna

stan: Next person to say piss is out.

richie: he is awoken!!!!!!!!!

stan: I’ve been awake. I’ve just been ignoring you guys

richie: :^(((((

richie: hey stan!!!!!

richie: stanley

richie: stanley stanley stanley

stan: What

richie: please just say it

richie: stannnnnn

richie: staniell!!!!!!

stan: I won’t.

bev: PLEASE stan

bev: ben convince him w ur sweet cherub powers

ben: 😳😭❤️ ily bev!!!!!!

ben: ok here goes!

ben: stan...???

ben: stan!!!! please do it :((

mike: stan do it man!!!!!

mike: dude it’d be hilarious if you did

eddie: stanny.....

eddie: :•((((

stan: Fine.

stan: Come to my house at 29 Neibolt Street. Come and find me.

richie: wooo wooo!!!!!!!!!! house party ;^))))))


bill: hell yeah!!! let’s get fcukni SMASHED

richie: fcukni

bev: fcukni

eddie: fcukni

stan: Fcukni

bill: shut UP bro

bill: god even u too stan?????

stan: Who is god?????

richie: i killed god

stan: Why? Because you’re Jewish??

richie: bitch no

richie: that’s anti semitic

stan: I’m Jewish too, fucknut

richie: shut the fuck up

bev: 👀

eddie: [presidential alert: the twinks are fightinggggg.jpg]

richie: oh you’re calling ME the twink huh

eddie: fuck is that supposed to mean

richie: i just KNOW i would top u

eddie: good thing we’ll never be in a relationship then bc i am not a bottom

bev: 👀

mike: doubt

eddie: please never talk to me again

richie: bet

richie: STAN

stan: WHAT, Richie

richie: so i didn’t kill god because i’m jewish

stan: That’s a first.

richie: i actually met him in a 7/11

bev: lit

richie: ikr

richie: we fucked

bev: who was the top

eddie: richie was 100% the bottom

stan: Obviously.

richie: i will admit that i was the bottom

richie: HOWEVER immediately after we fought to the death and i won

stan: Sounds thrilling.

bev: it’s true i saw it with my own eyes

richie: yea after i killed god, i saw bev

richie: she was fapping to us

richie: she has a big dick guys

bev: thanks rich xx 😘😘😘

eddie: bev can i suck ur dick

bev: you already have but ok

bev: what about richie??? who’s gonna suck HIS dick??

eddie: idc richie can perish

richie: my dick is already being vacuumed by mrs k don’t worry about me sweet cheeks

eddie: shut the fuck up

eddie: richie give me admin rights so i can remove you

richie: lmao bitch u thought

mike: never once in his entire life has eddie ever thought

bill: yea well i thought for the first time in my whole life yesterday

eddie: shut the Fuck Up, mike

eddie: also omg congrats bull 😍🤩

mike: bill is the first man ever

bill: and u wanna know what /i/ thought???

ben: what did u think bill?? :0

bev: ur so cute ben,,,, anyways yea what did u think bill

ben: ( ❤️❤️❤️ )

bill: i thought that the people in this chat would quit wearing fucking khakis

bill: i wished we wo

bill: no

bill: i PRAYED we wouldn’t

richie: bro the only one in this chat who still wears khakis is stan

bill: that’s a hate crime against me

mike: literally how??? bill ur a white christian cis man how can someone commit a hate crime against u

bill: i’m gay bitch

richie: understandable have a nice day

stan: Bill shut up I like my khakis.

bev: fashion icon

ben: honestly???? what a legend

stan: God, Ben too????

stan: Listen, my khakis are not only fresh as hell, but also practical!!!!

mike: sure, jan

bill: stan listen i think ur khakis look great

richie: but they would look better on your floor?

bill: richie stop flirting w stan for me i have a gf

eddie: oh shit wait deadass?????

richie: big bill.... ur only just now telling us

bill: fuck

bill: i mean

bill: yea

mike: who!!!!

ben: it’s not bev, is it?

bev: not as far as i know

bill: no it’s audra

bill: she’s a junior

richie: weak sauce

bill: anyways yea stop implying that i like stan that’s som twink shit 😡😡😡

stan: How is that twink shit

bill: bc you obviously aren’t a bottom

richie: bill your gaydar is fucking off the walls you’re so incredibly wrong

bev: i mean stan is badass as hell

richie: that doesn’t mean he’s a top though :^//

richie: wanna know what it does mean though

richie: we were too badass to fight nickledumb’s headass

stan: I’m-

eddie: [rdj pointing to himself saying me? in top text bottom text format.jpg]

bev: hell yea we were but where is this coming from

richie: ok well u remember when pennywise was like “i fucking love boymeat” or whatever

mike: i don’t think that’s what he said but go on

bev: lmao “i fucking love boymeat”

bev: someone make that their instagram bio

eddie: no we’re already called f*gs

stan: Figs.

bill: yeah ok stan

ben: why are we called figs?????

eddie: oh my god

bev: ben sweetie we aren’t it’s the first letter of the alphabet where the asterisk is

ben: huh

ben: oh

ben: sorry lads lol

bev: richie that isn’t a complete thought

richie: ok well it’s boymeat not littlebitchmeat

richie: so we shouldn’t have more little bitches in the fight

richie: i propose bowers

stan: Bowers.

eddie: hockstetter



mike: now i remember why i’m friends w y’all

stan: Were you having trouble finding a reason, Mike?

mike: maybe so, what’s the problem

stan: I mean, me too

ben: understandable have a nice day

eddie: excuse me

eddie: this is homophobia

richie: how is it homophobia if you aren’t gay

bev: i

bev: ok..

mike: are y’all deadass

ben: ouch you guys really are oblivious

stan: What is this shit?

eddie: richie are u fr rn

richie: yes

eddie: you didn’t know i was gay??????

richie: no

richie: i thought you were mine 🥺😭

eddie: fuck off

stan: Stop being gay

bev: what are u a cop

stan: No, but I’ll call them.

richie: ok bitch call the cops i’ll have sex with them

eddie: wait no have sex with me

[eddie has deleted a message]




eddie: bye i’m leaving derry forever