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Less Than Ideal

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A hand caressed its way down his back as prosthetic fingers brushed down the valley of his spine and Sam closed his eyes in ecstasy. It had been a while since they’d had the time to take their time like this and enjoy one another. Sam pressed warm, open mouth kisses along Bucky neck and shoulder as he sat astride the other’s lap in the man’s bed. Bucky felt his chest tighten having Sam in his arm like this again. Smelling Sam’s scent, the taste of his mouth and skin had Bucky weak and he’d been dying to drink his fill of the man for a while.

“Been missing you,” Bucky breathed touching all of the naked skin on Sam at the moment.

Sam closed his eyes and tried not to cry at hearing Bucky’s words. While their moments were brief, they were bright spots lately against what felt like relentlessly, dark days for Sam. With all that Sam had going on, being in Bucky’s arms, in his bed, brought back feeling to parts of Sam’s heart he was sure had been damaged.

Sam looked into Bucky’s eyes and moved to place a tender kiss on his lips. To thank him, to give something back in that moment to let the other know he heard him and felt the same.

Bucky laid Sam down on the bed and made love to him slowly. He grasped at Sam’s hips, his thighs as he thrust, taking his time to draw out delicate moans and sighs from deep within Sam’s chest as the other wound his fingers in his hair. He held Sam tight as he once again felt swept up in the feeling of Sam’s body around him, the perfection that was all him.

“Oh my god, Bucky, oh my god yes ,” Sam begged under his breath as he felt the pleasure begin to rob him of breath and sense. Sweat had begun to break on his brow as Sam felt himself falling under, these moments were everything. He could feel again. He was alive, he was whole, he felt wanted and loved in the arms holding him and Sam wanted to live in those seconds forever.

When Bucky thrust roughly, one good time, Sam dragged his nails down his back and set Bucky over the edge gasping into Sam’s skin. Sam tumbled down along with him into blissful release as he hugged Bucky close to his chest and held on.

 

When Bucky roused, he opened his eyes to find it was almost 4:30pm. He glanced over and saw Sam up already getting dressed. He admired the rich brown skin of the man’s back and remembered placing kiss after kissed all over that expanse when he first brought Sam to his bed hours ago.

“So soon?” he asked brushing his fingers against Sam’s lower back before Sam slipped on his shirt.

Sam turned around and laid down on the bed to rest face to face with him. He rested his forehead against Bucky’s and closed his eyes.

“I’d stay here if I could, you know that,” Sam whispered. “I have to pick up Dani from soccer practice.”

Bucky nodded in understanding. He knew Sam couldn’t be late picking Dani up.

“Want me to come along?” Bucky offered. He just wanted a few more hours in Sam’s presence.

Sam opened his eyes and looked into the blue ones staring back caringly into his own.

“It’s okay. I got it,” Sam breathed softly. “It’s your day off. You should rest.”

“Kind of late for that,” Bucky said suggestively in mention of what they just got finished doing.

“Maybe so,” Sam said smiling softly as he sat up. “Get some rest.”

Bucky sat up following Sam and pulled him into a sweet goodbye kiss. “I’ll call you later,” he said softly touching Sam’s cheek. “Okay?”

Sam touched his hand nodded. “Okay,” he breathed before getting up to grab his keys and see himself out of the house.  

On the drive to the park Sam worked on ordering his thoughts and switching gears; from being a lover to getting into parent mode. He started planning dinner and thought about any other things he needed to do before tomorrow.

   


Upon arriving at the park, Sam stepped out of his car into the crisp autumn air and locked the car behind him. He crossed through the grass for the walking path through the local park and headed over to where the kids and the other parents were gathered watching the practice game. With the new school year Dani wanted to sign up for soccer with his friends. Sam wasn’t too sure if he really wanted to play or just spend more time with his friends but Sam was pleasantly surprised when his son applied himself to learning and playing soccer with his teammates twice a week.

Sam stepped up along the sidelines and looked out onto the field for Dani, number 5, in his white and blue uniform kicking the ball. Sam felt a smile come to his lips watching his son gleefully play and wondered when he’d last felt this genuinely happy.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Sam heard from behind him. He didn’t turn around and stared straight ahead. He didn’t have to turn around to know who it was.

“Why are you here?” Sam asked in monotone. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with the bullshit today. Not after he’d had such a wonderful afternoon. “Today is my day.”

“Oh come on now,” Steve said softly. “We could be more civil to each other Sam, we are still married.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Like that means anything to you Steven,” Sam said not wanting to get into it with Steve again, especially not in public.

“Being married to you is everything to me Sam,” Steve said with sincerity, he just wanted Sam to believe him for once.

Sam looked at Steve. He searched within his eyes for the truth. “Was that before or after you fucked that other guy?” Sam asked bluntly not really caring for an answer.

Before Steve could utter a word in response they heard the coach blow the whistle signaling the end of practice. Sam stuffed his hands in his coat pockets and walked out on the field to greet their son.

“Dad! Dad!” Dani yelled happily as he ran up to Sam with his duffle bag on his shoulder.

Sam knelt down to hug his son. He hadn’t seen the little one in two days and was so happy to have him back in his arms.

“I missed you buddy,” Sam said softly looking into the little boy’s brown eyes.

“I missed you too,” he said softly. Sam could hear the sadness between his words.

“Want spaghetti for dinner tonight?” Sam asked, hoping that would lift his spirits.

“Yeah,” Dani said softly with a smile as he nodded his head.

“Cool. Let’s get going so you can get cleaned up, get your homework done and then we can eat,” Sam said taking his hand.

“Okay,” Dani said.

“How was school?” Sam asked, looking around for where Steve was, hoping the other wouldn’t stop them before leaving. Sam glanced around and saw the other was nowhere to be seen anymore.

“It was okay. A friend of mine was embarrassed at lunch because she snorted milk out of her nose when someone told a joke,” Dani said smiling thinking back on it.

Sam shook his head and felt his heart lighten a bit at hearing that. Childhood was a wondrous time, despite what he was going through with Steve, Sam was happy to know their turmoil had only mildly disrupted their son’s life and the little boy could still find laughter and joy in the world around him.