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he sees the tears in my eyes (i see the fear on his lips)

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seonghwa loved his job, of course he did — but he isn’t talking about his regular boring ceo job that everyone praises him for — he’s talking about his side “job”. the side job where he’s teamed up with other messed up heroes turned anti to do the dirty work the real “heroes” never wanted to do in fear of being seen as the bad guys; seonghwa’s the anti-hero all of korea has mixed feelings for. 

 

can you really call someone a villain for killing the bad guys? but does killing someone really make them a hero? seonghwa’s never cared for how the media portrayed him, he was doing his country a favor. if seonghwa had more than ten fingers he’d finally be able to count the amount of criminals that’s escaped prison after a hero “took care of them”. sure he’s also threatened, injured, and sometimes even killed those with power (who weren’t necessarily the biggest threats to korea) but money is money. 

 

the only reason seonghwa hasn’t completely turned to just killing people to get a rise from the good guys was all for his fiancé yeosang. his cute, tiny (not the tiniest but still tiny), shy, but sassy fiancé who makes sure to always keep seonghwa in check after a messy mission. yeosang, who works as a kindergarten teacher and has to come back home to seonghwa bleeding out with crushed roses from his commute back from whatever fight he got himself involved in.

 

on those days yeosang would go through a full panic attack before remembering his fiancé is pretty much immortal from the serum seonghwa’s odd but caring father had injected into him in hopes that it would keep his son safe — well mr. park, let’s just say it did a lot more than just protect him. seonghwa’s powers first started to develop at sixteen when a kid tried to punch him after a petty argument, leaving the young teen unfazed and uninjured, the bruise barely present; the other kid’s knuckles couldn’t say the same. 

 

at seventeen seonghwa’s body suddenly started to develop muscle even though the boy had never bothered to exercise in his life, but the sudden rush of exhilaration gave seonghwa the ability to run and exercise for hours while barely breaking a sweat; it boosted his energy and even heightened his senses. seonghwa’s father thought the side effects would finally end there, but when seonghwa was finally able to beat him in a round of mathematics and other school related test questions, it was safe to say seonghwa developed super smarts too. 

 

yeosang, who’s been friends with the anti-hero since their early childhood years and dated him since the beginning of high-school, also noticed the changes, but he’d be lying if he said seventeen year old seonghwa with biceps twice the size they used to be and a brain twice the size it used to be wasn’t hot. 

 

he just wishes seonghwa were more careful, immortal or not. maybe then he wouldn’t have to deal with a whiney seonghwa whenever he had to clean his wounds. “stay still,” yeosang commanded softly as he tried to clean the semi-deep cut on his cheek. “it’s going to leave an ugly scar if you keep trying to run away from cleaning them.” 

 

seonghwa whined again with yeosang sat pliantly on his lap to ensure that he didn’t move or run away while he cleaned the aftermath of a fight. “this is just a scratch,” seonghwa complained again, arms circled around yeosang’s waist to comfort his worrywart of a fiancé. “it’ll heal normally soon, don’t waste your time doing this.” yeosang’s hands stilled before dropping them in defeat. 

 

he placed the swabs back on the table behind him and leaned himself against his fiancé, a sigh leaving his lips. “you could at least pretend i’m helping you,” yeosang said sadly. “i don’t care how many gunshots, car crashes, or fires you can survive from, i just want to take care of you. this is the least i can do to calm myself down.” seonghwa smiled softly and carded his fingers through the back of yeosang’s head, fingers gliding effortlessly through his pink hair. 

 

“you staying with me is enough,” seonghwa told his fiancé. “i’m doing this to protect you and that stupid kindergarten you take care of.” yeosang pulled away from him to slap at his chest in anger. 

 

“you love the kids there!” yeosang said with an angry pout, to which seonghwa laughed and nodded his head. “yeah i love those demons.” and he really does. he visited the class whenever he could and let the children circle around him as he stepped into the room, they’ve always been nothing but respectful; seonghwa said it was because their teacher was the most beautiful and kindest man on earth, to which yeosang would turn red and hide his face at the compliment. seonghwa still remembers the day he decided to visit for the first time, walking in to hug yeosang from behind and greet him but getting blocked by a wall of tiny scared kids telling him to back away from their teacher. 

 

it took a while for them to stop circling around yeosang and clinging onto him whenever seonghwa got too close, but he felt a certain warmth fill his body at the thought of other people wanting to protect yeosang from harm too, even if the “harm” was the one protecting their precious teacher in the first place (and really, what could a bunch of kids do, seonghwa is obviously the number one protector), but seeing the kids flock around yeosang like baby chicks had to be the second cutest thing on earth, the first being yeosang of course. if seonghwa wasn’t walking around with danger trailing behind him, they probably would’ve thought of adopting a kid in the future.

 

when seonghwa opened up about his dream one night, yeosang’s eyes lit up at the thought before finally facing the harsh reality. “i would love to but,” yeosang stops to trace the healing cuts on seonghwa’s face to further prove his point. “we can’t let a kid into our lives, not when this is happening.” and seonghwa understood that, he really did, but the hopeful yet sad glint in yeosang’s eyes made him want to adopt no matter what situation they were in, but he knew that was selfish of him. 

 

so the children in yeosang’s class who had no problem in calling them their second parents would suffice, the hole in their hearts filled. yeosang still cries at the thought of watching them all grow older and move on from his class and seonghwa still teases yeosang about the day he cried in front of his students when they talked about their future after kindergarten, in which they all panicked before starting to cry themselves — the scene ended with them all racing towards his fiancé to create a group hug, promising their teacher in between sobs that they’ll never grow older. 

 

seonghwa saved that day as his phone’s lockscreen to remind himself why he’s putting himself in danger. as much as seonghwa knows he isn’t the best person, yeosang makes him feel more of a human than just a threat. there are the dark times that he’d rather not talk about. times where he would lay in bed, unmoving. being the antagonist in everyone’s story can really lead someone to dark thoughts.

 

days and nights where seonghwa’s mind goes further into the darkness and begging for him to snap. they want him to chase down every hero that’s caused harm to the country and break them apart, find every person that has hurt his loved ones and make them feel the same pain, times where he’s wanted nothing more than to hear people cry and beg in agony. he still regrets the day he let his emotions take over him. 

 

he was racing back home with a grim expression on his face, trying to control the shaking of his hands and his twitch. he still remembers the way yeosang jumped in his seat when he slammed the door open and shut, not sparing a glance at his terrified fiancé. seonghwa just needed to be alone. he needed to stare in the mirror for hours and tell himself to calm the fuck down, you’re going to scare him. his plan failed miserably when yeosang’s shaky hands reached out to grab ahold of his arm, turning the anti-hero around gently to face him. 

 

“seongie what’s wrong?” and just from those three words seonghwa felt himself come back down to earth. “what happened?” seonghwa decided to pull yeosang in a hug instead of answer the question, not really knowing the answer himself, but the way yeosang looked at him the same way other people would look at him — in fear — seonghwa felt the resolve to hurt someone disappear. 

 

“i’m sorry,” seonghwa whispered anxiously, not wanting to feel afraid anymore. “i’m sorry.” and yeosang would patiently wait for him to calm down before leading him to their bedroom and distracting seonghwa from the dark thoughts by asking him random questions or pulling out seonghwa’s favorite snacks that he hides in random places to feed him. 

 

that day, the same day yeosang’s ever felt scared around him, was the same day seonghwa stopped letting his emotions get the best of him. the dark thoughts coming and going with a snap. every time he relapsed, seonghwa would find something that reminded him of yeosang to remind himself that he’s doing this to protect others, not scare them. 

 

without yeosang, seonghwa doesn’t know what he’d be doing now.