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Safe distance

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What do you want from me, Chuuya?”

Dazai is looking at him with challenge and expectation painted in his eyes, and Chuuya realizes too late that he has taken one step too much. They're suddenly too close, out of their comfort zone, out in uncharted territories he has only dared to wander in with mind a couple of times - and in that moment his brain, his heart, his everything , stops.

He could take another step, stand on the verge of the precipice, and then he could take another, and let himself fall.

He could kiss Dazai right then and there, show him exactly what he wants and how he wants it, and take him down with him.

He could.

He hates this, hates him. C huuya hates that he wants this, hates that he wants it from no one else but Dazai. He hates that he knows all too well that Dazai can't give it to him. Not yet. Maybe sometimes, maybe never. Chuuya hates that he is willing to wait.

So he doesn't take another step forward.

Instead, he steps back. And now they both can breathe more easily, even with the taste of regret that's tainting Chuuya's mouth.

Another step back, and they're again at a safe distance from each other.

"Nothing. Whatever", Chuuya lies, and when he turns and walks away, Dazai doesn't stop him.