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i will only hurt you if i let you

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“Clary, come back.”

They are teetering on the edge of thick forest and frosted ground, boots digging into the dirt. The world is ash.

“Clarissa,” Isabelle says. Blood is caked on her face and hands and neck and still she pleads.

“Clarissa, do not go.”

The air is thick with tension and silence and everything unspoken.

Her heart clenches in her chest and her inky black hair flies with the wind.

Clary is focused, centered on the ground in a lost daze. Magic leaks off, sweeping off her runes like a fading star.

She stands tall and fierce like Athena come to life. Beautiful and unseemly.

Her eyes are demonic black, wide wings unfurled like an avenging angel. The Clave lies, Isabelle wants to scream. None of this is her fault, she wants to say. Please Clary. Come back.

The Rune on Clary’s chest is angry and pulsing and she knows the connection between Jonathan and her are long gone.

Something lingers.

It runs in the family, she refuses to think.

Clarissa is a Morgernstern but she’s also a Fairchild, a Fray, mundane and Shadowhunter and god at once.

Isabelle is not the Clave and she does not turn her back on the people she loves.

A darkness, a lurking madness, something Isabelle can’t describe -

and she needs.

She needs Clary to come back.

Isabelle once said she did not fear Clary and her capabilities and powers.

The truth remains.

Glorious is scattered like ash and the Morgernstern sword is lost among the jagged edges of the cliff.

There’s no more weapons.

There’s no more to be done.

Come back, Clary.

Alicante burns in the background.

It is done and over and yet -

Isabelle is afraid.

Clary is consumed and lost and Isabelle can’t.

I can’t lose her, Isabelle vows fiercely.

Blood covers the ground and the scent of decay is strong in the air. Alicante is a faraway, hazy post-war battlefield and there’s so much destruction remaining.

She’s not concerned about any of that regardless of how selfish it is.

Her priority is Clary.


Clary, come back.

do not go where i can’t follow.

“I am burning up,” Clary says at last.

There’s a hallow tinge in her voice.

Isabelle steps closer and closer like a lurking phantom but Clary steps backwards.

“Isabelle, no.”


Isabelle refuses.

“Clarissa, it’s not too late.” It’s never too late, she wants to say.

Clary slowly circles to face her and her eyes remain pitch black.

“What do you think will happen?” She laughs bitterly, a remnant in one. “There’s no where to go.” we can go anywhere in the world, Isabelle once said.

She stares piercingly. she remembers clary laughing in a distant memory. isabelle had kissed her. she remembers the urge to asking clary to be her parabatai. the dream is gone now. Reality is bleak, Maryse once said to her. And isn’t that the nature of Shadowhunters? we burn in blazes of glory. Isabelle doesn’t want to watch Clary burn. Clary, come back.

“I know you, Isabelle. There’s no where for us to run.”

Isabelle stares back, unflinchingly. She’s not afraid. She could never be afraid of Clary.

“I know you,” Clary punctuates again.

you will always have me, Isabelle wants to say. I promised you. I made a vow to you. you have me and that’s not going to change.

Isabelle keeps her promises.

Clary shakes her head, red hair spilling forth.

Her wings are large and Isabelle aches to them once but keeps the urge buried. It’s not important.

Clary is.

“Then you should know I am not going to give up,” Isabelle says.

Clary lets out a heartbreaking smile. “I am not going to last, Isabelle and they are coming for me. There’s repercussions for actions.”

Isabelle says nothing, grips her snake bracelet with frozen hands for a steady anchor.

I can’t let you go.

I don’t want to let you go.

I love you, Isabelle wants to scream.

“Alicante burns. The Heavens are angry and I have lost it all. There’s nothing left for me, Isabelle.”

“You have me.”

Clary steps towards her and gently tucks a strand of Isabelle’s hair away from her face among the decaying atmosphere.

I did this to you when we met.

Clary’s smile is sorrowful and in a sudden lurch, kisses Isabelle like her life depends upon it.

It’s quick and all-consuming and Isabelle kisses back desperately.

Clary’s lips are hot and she can feel the raw energy radiating off her.

Her wings cover Isabelle in a protective embrace and her demonic eyes have slowly begun to fade. Clary pulls back, presses her forehead against Isabelle’s.

“I did this, Isabelle.”

“I do not care.”

“I know you don’t.”

“I did this,” Clary murmurs again. There’s a manic undercurrent in her tone.

“It burns at me. The urge, the power. I can’t control it and it’s consuming me and there’s no where to go but down.”

Clary laughs bitterly again and steps away.

“There’s no coming back from this.”

You have me, Isabelle wants to say.

There’s so much to say.

Her mouth is ash.

The demonic eyes are back and Clary steps back, back, back.


Clary smiles sadly.

“Clary, please.”

Clary steps back.

I love you, Isabelle wants to say.

Her lips form the words but nothing comes out.

There’s a large crack and the smell of smoke is putrid and Isabelle head whirls around at the sudden onslaught of noise.

The fire is growing fiercer and she can hear distant screams.

It’s reaching them.

It’s an ending.

The destruction goes on and Alicante burns and the Clave plans in a last-ditched effort.

Isabelle knows this. She does not know this.

She knows nothing except for Clary.

“Clarissa,” She pleads.

Clary shakes her head and shoots sunlight in her direction. The air whirls and a Portal opens up quickly, pushing Isabelle back, back, back.


Don’t do this to me.

Clarissa lets go and Isabelle’s last sight is Clary falling into a world of bright sunshine and pure energy and

she screams.

Come back,


Do not go where I cannot follow.

Clary, Clary, CLARY!

The world is ash.