He was drifting. Where was he exactly? Who was he? What was he doing? He doesn't understand, but his subconscious tell's him to go with it. To let go. What was he so worried about before? It's peaceful here, relaxing even. Another part of his brain tells him to pay attention, that somethings wrong. Screams at him, yelling to stop drifting away. To remember. Green. Green hair, green eyes, and a soft voice. His mom.
He takes a sharp intake of breath. And immediately regrets it. Yikes.
Coughing up a lung, he shoots out of the bed. Wait, hold up. Bed? Eyes are suddenly a thing, and light envelopes the room. Is this heaven? Well, hello God. Personally, he thought he was going to hell. But beggars can't be choosers huh? Maybe hes a ghost? Hell yeah! I'm going to haunt the fuck outta people! Watch out world! Ghost busters can't stop me, hell, I'll haunt them! Maybe he could finally-
"Hahaha, well Mr. Midoriya I'm glad your awake. You had us worried there for a second. And no, you are indeed not dead," The man-or women no judgement here-stops to laugh bountifully. He(unfortunately) continues, "I'm your doctor Mr. Tetsudau. It seems the medication hasn't worn off, but I'll allow you to have some alone time with your mom."
The man-his doctor- takes his leave, leaving him alone with his mom. Oh goodness me how am I gonna get outta this- wait hold on. I said all that stuff aloud?
"Yes, I'm afraid you did" someone pitches in. Which, super nice of them. Good to know. He glances at such person and-I swear to god-screams. His mother sits there, staring straight into his soul, completely unfazed. Her eyes have unforgiving black lines under them. While her hair isn't faring better, tangled and thrown in a bun. Tear stains and red eyes speak volumes on her well being. He nervously bites his lip trying to think of a way out of this. Expect-he knows- there's no easy way out. He can't lie his way out, lies will only cause more suffering. So he breathes, and he stares right back.
No one says anything, no one needs to. Arms reach out and he accepts the hug. Tears soak the back of his shirt. And before he realizes, tears escape his eyes without his consent. It's a start, the beginning of the end he supposes.
How did he get here?
Izuku kept his eyes downcast as he weaved through students. Aldera Junior High wasn't the most friendliest place. He tightened his grip on his yellow backpack as the whispers escalated.
He's so weird.
I kinda feel bad, he doesn't have any friends.
What a freak.
But Izuku paid them no mind, and decided to pay attention to his red high tops. People bump into him, shove him into lockers, but that's fine right?
Its just boys roughhousing. He's used to it. By the time he finally reached homeroom he's already done with the day. His eyes scan the room, and settle on a certain blond. But he forces his eyes to flicker away before the boy can notice his stare. Izuku rushes to his seat, anxious to get the day over with.
The teacher begins the lesson, and Izuku zones out. He's not really feeling like himself today, a bad day he guesses. His mind drifts but hes suddenly pulled back into the real world when the bell rings. He hurriedly grabbed his stuff and zipped out the door. The rest of his day went relatively fine. The usual. But life just had to flip him off.
"-Oh didn't you want to go to UA too, Midoryia?" The teacher says it as if its nothing, like an afterthought. There's a passing silence before all hell breaks loose.
"Hahaha, Midoryia? You gotta be kidding!" and most of his classmates contribute something along the lines of that. Izuku sinks into his chair and wishes to disappear. He also risks a glance at Kacchan, and boy does he regret it. The blond is practically seething, steam already coming out of his hands.
"Hah? Deku thinks he can make it in UA? You can't study your way in!" Kacchan makes a show of setting off little explosions and glares at him. Izuku weaky tries to verbally defend himself, but overall fails. And soon enough Kacchan is back in his seat with a promise for more later. Izuku can only breathe a sigh of relief. He was safe. For now.
The final bell rings, signaling the end of the day. He wants to go home to write about a hero fight but is stopped by Kacchan and his lackey's. His hero notebook is snatched and sacrificed to the wolves. Izuku sends a quick pray for it.
"H-Hey! Give it b-back! " Izuku protested weakly.
"Huh, 'Hero Analysis For the Future'" Kacchan dangles the book a little, inspecting it. Then he burns it. Izuku can gasp and watch as his dreams are blown into bits.Then, as if bored, Kacchan tosses it outside the window. With wide eyes, Izuku watched his notebook get thrown into a pond. Kacchan isn't done, however.
"Let this be a lesson, Deku," he carves his hands into Izuku's shoulder and steam radiates out of them, "don't apply to UA. You'll always just be a useless Deku." Kacchan heads towards the classroom's exit and looks back.
"If you wanna be a hero that badly, there's a quick way to do it. Believe that you'lll be born with a quirk in your next left and take a swan five off the roof!"
The lackey's protest a little, concerned about how
Kacchan Bakugou causing a suicide would look bad on his record. But Izuku doesn't care. He doesn't care about anything anymore. His feet are already moving before he could realize. He doesn't have much to live for, really. His mother will miss him, but hes only causing her stress and money. His dreams aren't going to magically come true. What could he do anyway? Hes just a useless Deku. He does hope his mom forgives him though.
He reaches the rooftop quicker than he thought, hands pulling open the door. And he just sits there. On the railing, he wonders. He debates whether or not its worth it. He only feels numb. Numb to everything. Time passes and Izuku doesn't know anything anymore. He doesn't know.
"Believe that you'lll be born with a quirk in your next left and take a swan five off the roof!"
A note. He needed a note. So, using his school supplies from the day he crafts his
suicide note. Apologizing to his mom is all it entails. Even in death, he doesn't have much else. He barks a bitter laugh at that. He truly is alone. Oh well. Slipping his shoes off, he placed them gently over his note. Lifting himself over the railing, he lets himself gaze at the clouds.
They were really pretty. Leaning over the ledge, his grip was the only thing keeping him from dropping. He shut his eyes and thought of green. And he let go.
Back to Present- a day after Izuku woke up
His mother is anxiously fidgeting in her seat and Izuku can only sigh. Ever since the day he woke up, things have been tense. Although he only woke up yesterday. They still haven't really talked. His mother treating him like glass was starting to get old fast. This conversation is long overdue, but he can't help but want things to back to before
he took a swan dive off the roof the incident.
"Why didn't you tell me?" His mother cuts through the tense silence. Deciding to take matters in her own hands. Izuku doesn't know a good answer to that. But lying wasn't an option, not anymore. So he rolls the dice and goes for the truth.
"I didn't want you to worry. And after a while I didn't know how to tell you. I-It was just easier, I guess." He ends lamely. His mother didn't seem satisfied with that answer, shaking her head a bit. Honestly he wasn't satisfied either.
"Your not totally to blame for this. I should've noticed, should've asked how you got those bruises. Those cuts." She whispers-which he notices. Their both whispering. As if to not break something, or someone-he guesses.
"This is not your fault, mom. You can't blame yourself!" Quick to correct his mom, he began to yell a little at the end. Deciding that something or someone's already broken.
"Look at you Izuku!" She yells, reaching her boiling point too, "Your covered in bandages! My baby almost died! My baby tired to kill himself!" And just like that, the taboo word was spoken. Like ripping off a band aid, the elephant in the room was shoved in the spotlight. No more tip toeing around the subject, it was to late for that. Tears are streaming down her face, but Izuku is in the same state.
"That wasn't your fault! It's mine, for being too useless! If I could go back in time I would do it again!" and oh no, he went to far. But they need this. His mom just gives him a look of pity, concern, and hurt.
"Izuku, you're not useless." She says it gently, but leaves no room for argument. And Izuku's too shocked to noticed she's traveled across the room and embraced him. She clutches him so tightly that Izuku can't do anything but weakly hug back. It oblivious the conversation isn't over. But, its a step forward. In the right direction, he hopes.
Dr. Tetsudau comes to check on him an hour after the conversation he had with his mother. Both of their eyes are still red as a result. If the doctor notices he doesn't say anything.
"Hello Midoriya's! I'm here to go over Izuku's injury's and such," he was way to cheery in Izukus opinion. After a beat of silence, the man continues, "Well Izuku here, as you know, broke both his legs. This will require surgery in the future but thankfully Izuku will have full function off his legs back." And what a relief that was. Both him and his mother sighed in relief. He would be able to walk again. The Dr. still had more news, "Haha yes, Izuku will be able to walk and even run! But unfortunately, Izuku also broke his spine, so we are concerned about other damage but so far he's doing great. You were very lucky!"
Izuku nods blankly. He doesn't feel lucky, quite the opposite. But he supposes that's fine. He'll be fine.
Izuku deadpans at the piece of paper in his hands. In it the words, "therapy" stare back at him. Mocking him. And, like the mature teen he is, Izuku raised the paper and looked his mother dead in the eyes and said,
"What the fricky frack on a tic tac is this?"