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dumpster guest

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“Ah, a fine fall night”, Michelangelo pondered, “with the moonlight catching the broken glass of the alleyway, and me being freezing cold and wading in garbage again.” It wasn’t like he wasn’t going to go dumpster diving. Technically it was supposed to be a team effort, but Leo called dibs on surveillance and Raph called dibs on making snide comments at everyone. Truly, both very important jobs. Where would they be without Raphie’s pessimism? Actually getting something done?

Before Mike could internally harass Raph even more though, his Finely Tuned Ninja Senses™  picked up something small…. something pacing around the pavement. Considering Leo hadn’t thrown a smoke bomb or beheaded someone, it was probably just a raccoon. But he had to check. Safety first, right? 

It was. A dog. Well, it looked like a dog. They were spindly like a newborn fawn, if a fawn could fit in your arms. The head looked like a bike seat, with two bulging eyes and a droopy tongue, because, well, they had no teeth. To top everything off, the dog was sporting a long bony tail that was firmly between their legs. Despite all of this, Mikey cooed, “oh, who are you?” and held out his hand for the dog to sniff. The dog sniffed, then licked Michelangelo’s hand, bony tail wagging madly between their legs. 

“Wanna be my dumpster diving buddy, lil pal?” he asked, knowing the dog’s fate was already settled. New pet! They didn’t have a collar, and anyway, why would someone leave such a hairless dog outside in the fall? It was going to snow tomorrow!

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“Guys!” Mikey happily yelled, “I found a dog!”

Raph groaned, “I don’t want to take care of another pet, Mikey.”

“I trade chores with you ONE time so that you’d have to clean Klunk’s litter box-”

“I practically clean it twice a week!”

“Yeah, and I do it the other five times!”

“More like three,” Don chimed in, arising from the dumpster to watch the impending fight, “that looks like a gremlin more than a dog, Mikey.”

“He’s just aesthetically challenged!”

Before anything progressed, Leo jumped in, asking, “are we stopping for the night?” completely clueless about the dog. 

“Look what I found, Leo!” Mikey was determined. He dialed up his charm to the max, determined to show that this dog was going to come home with them tonight. “Can we keep them??? Pleaseeeeee??????”

Leo rubbed his chin, deep in thought. He held out his hand, which the dog licked excitedly. Leo smiled. Raph groaned, complaining about how it was inevitably going to be all of their jobs to take care of them, not just Mikey. Don went back to digging in the garbage. 

“Well… what if he’s mine?” Leo was still smiling. 

“But I found him!”

“I mean, you already have Klunk, Mikey.”

“But I found him!”

“Y’know, if Leo’s the one caring for him I’m fine with bringing him home. He won’t make us do anything,” Raph said. 

Poor Michelangelo was truly at an impasse. All he could say was, “well! Then you’re paying for all his vet bills!” as he pouted.“Obviously,” Leo replied, taking his new child dog, “I think I’ll name him Zippy.”