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Sea Lion Caves In The Dark

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Sweating, Jim awoke from his dream. It seemed to be in the middle of the night still and the sheets under him were sticking unpleasantly to his back. He felt the other boy's body on his own side, sticky and slippery with sweat. A hand laid on his racing heart.

"Jim?" Doyler whispered in his ear and he could feel five fingers caressing his skin. "Did you dream about your brother?" Doyler asked, but Jim still felt frozen. He barely managed to shake his head. Doyler's tired eyes scanned over his face, a slightly distressed expression in them. He opened his mouth to say something else, but without Jim being able to prevent it, a sob erupted from his throat, hushing Doyler.

The tears burned hot on Jim's cheek, running down and over his lower lip. He had not noticed that he had straightened himself and was now leaning forward, embracing his knees. Breathing was harder than expected. The panic attack shook through him. He realised that Doyler must have sat up as well, for the weight of his muscular arm was heavy on his shoulders and held him tight. His temple was touched by fingers that slid down over his tear-wet cheeks to his chin, gently guiding him to lift his head. Left and right a palm and one thumb under his burning eyes. Wet lips on his mouth. He gasped. He gripped Doyler's upper arms and snuggled his trembling shoulders against his upper body.

The dream subsided, the echo of the shots in his ears, the blood under his hands as it spilled out from the other's breast beneath him, Doyler's lifeless body in his arms, and his closed eyes... It shook Jim even more as he saw the other‘s black eyes through the veil of tears, alive and so close to his face. A dream, it had been just a dream. Just a dream, he tried to convince himself. Or was Doyler saying it? His hands had found Doyler's face and they stroked it, caressing his features, over and over again, feeling Doyler's mouth and eyebrows twist in confusion. Liveliness. He was alive. Jim had only dreamed. He lived. Overwhelmed with relief, Jim wrapped his arms around Doyler and they fell back onto the pillows.

When he was calm and Doyler was stroking his sensitive eyelids, he said, "I dreamed of you."

Beside him, he felt Doyler's shoulders tense. Jim took a deep breath.

"Or, of us. I dreamed I stole your uniform and became a volunteer in the citizen’s army. You and MacEmm followed me when you found out, and there were shooters in the windows, they were opening fire on us and you jumped in front of me and, and—" Jim swallowed and bit his lip. "You died," he continued softly. "You died in my place and I didn’t get it, I didn’t want to understand it, even when they pushed you into the hall of the fallen and closed your eyes. Oh, Doyler—"

Again, a strong shiver shook through him and he turned his face into the hollow between Doyler's chin and collarbone.

"How could I be so stupid and let you die," he sniffled. He felt Doyler's hand on the back of his neck. He still hadn’t said anything, but his fingers drew small circles between Jim's shoulder blades. Then Doyler exhaled heavily.

"I would, y’know. Take a bullet for you. I would not let you die."

Jim propped himself up on his elbows in a jerky motion and stared at him. "How can you say that? How could I want that, Doyler, when I want to be with you?"

"You wouldn’t be with me if you die on me," Doyler replied simply. Jim felt teased, but he knew that Doyler was serious. Trembling, he grabbed his friend’s shoulders and curved forward until his forehead was resting on Doyler's chest.

"But you didn’t die, Jim, and neither did I. You were dreaming, and I'm not going anywhere you aren’t," Doyler's voice in his eardrum guided Jim's hands between his armpits, ribs and down his sides. The hot skin under his fingertips and the vibrant pulse assured him again. Alive. Doyler was alive and in his arms. They were still in Doyler's bed at the MacMurrough’s. Jim had never gone to the citizen’s army, had never stolen Doyler's uniform. Even the familiar stickiness between their legs, though now dried down, was undeniably still there. The afternoon and Doyler's tongue on his cock just a few hours away. Despite his recent panic attack, he felt blood rush to his cheeks and his mouth filled with saliva. His fingers fumbled forward, slowly but surely, until they reached Doyler’s nipples. Carefully, he took the small round knobs between his thumbs and fingers, pinching them for test purposes while he simultaneously lowered his open mouth onto Doyler's chest.

Almost immediately he felt Doyler's hands reach underneath his own upper arms and pull him up so that they were face to face. The black pupils carried a fire. Doyler opened his mouth, but Jim hushed him once more.

"I didn’t— don't want you to die, Doyler. I want to be with you, I want to go to Dublin with you, become a teacher with you. I want us to live in an apartment and you'll be able to kiss me whenever you want. We'll buy a lamp and we'll go to the sea and swim and—" His voice began failing him so he stopped. Doyler grabbed his ears and pulled his mouth to his.

"Jim, my Jim, old pal o’ me heart," whispered Doyler by his lips. His black eyebrows closed in disappointment as Jim turned his head away and straightened up again. With his thumb, he stroked Doyler's lower lip. "I should have done this much sooner," he reassured him. "Back then at the Forty Foot, when you put your hand on my knee, I wanted to kiss you and pull you to me, so afterwards I regretted not having done it." His thumb following the curve of his full lips, Doyler's features had softened. "Do it now then," he whispered. His mouth opened willingly for Jim's finger. He leaned forward and ran the tip of his tongue over the corner of Doyler’s mouth, and when the other's pink muscle came to meet him, he closed his lips around him and sucked it into his own mouth.

As they kissed, he snuggled up close to the other’s body, whose hands found their way to his bottom and pulled him fully on top, leaving Jim hovering above Doyler. He sucked on Doyler's upper lip as the experienced fingers slid in-between his buttocks, stroking him there. When Jim sighed contentedly, Doyler's mouth twisted into a smile. Jim felt his finger writhe in him, almost playful, not fully serious about his business. Doyler's tongue, soft and hot and alive, pressed against his own, circled it, nestled down with care. It only took a few seconds for Jim to decide. Gently, he kissed from Doyler's mouth to his earlobe, leaving lines of salvia on from his collarbone to his chest. Doyler's fingers pulled his hair as he wrapped his lips around his right nipple, sucking on it. Small sighs searched their way out of Doyler’s throat and the fist in his blond strands held on tight.

Several times he heard Doyler mumble his name. He played with Doyler's left nipple, while the one in his mouth hardened with sensitivity. He felt Doyler's erection on his stomach, rubbing hard against his skin. His mouth parted from the battered skin with a lewd sound. "Jim," Doyler began, but before he could form the words, Jim's teeth had closed around his left nipple, starting to gently nibble on it. "Jim, Jim, Jim," Doyler breathed. And Jim knew what he wanted.

He carefully detached his mouth from Doyler's chest, but covered the irritated skin with many small kisses before continuing to push himself down the quivering body. Spit gathered in his mouth as he slid his tongue into the small dark hollow of Doyler's navel and ran his fingers through the fluff of black hair beneath him. Below, Doyler's black pubic hair tickled his chin, his stiff cock twitching proudly and impatiently in front of his face. With one hand he grabbed his member while his other wandered down to stroke Doyler's balls. Doyler ended up sitting up halfway, with a slightly open mouth, glancing down at Jim with glassy eyes. Although they had already slept together twice, and Jim was starting to know Doyler's naked body inside out, he realised that despite all that, he could’t help blushing heavily, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks and ears. He heard Doyler softly laugh, felt fingers on his earlobe, and when his gaze searched for his eyes, he got surprised with a flushed face, looking down at him with an expression filled with such love, he could no longer control himself.

He lowered his head and without further ado he closed his open lips around the sensitive tip. Then he caressed him from all sides. His tongue left damp tracks where he let her walk. Doyler's grip on his hair tightened as he brushed his hand against the inside of Doyler's thigh and pumped his cock in rhythm. Two or three times licked the already dripping excitement from the flushed sex until Doyler groaned through clenched teeth, and warned him with a hard pull on his hair how close he was. But instead of retracting his head in time, Jim opened his mouth as far as he could and took his pal’s cock all the way into his mouth. Doyler made a startled sound that sounded more like a sob due to his vocal chords trembling with excitement, his fingers clinging to Jim's locks.

Doyler drew in a sharp breath as Jim pulled his mouth back briefly to push his own fingers, two of them, into his moist mouth, sucking on them until they were dribbling with spit, then moving them purposefully past Doyler's balls between his buttocks. He lowered his mouth on Doyler's cock again as he touched and opened the tight muscle with his index finger. He decided not to wait much longer, but pushed the second finger in right after, knowing that Doyler could take him in without much pain. The entrance widened and he could feel Doyler's thighs trembling, spreading his legs wider, moaning, pushing his hips towards his fingers. He had begun to make small uncontrolled sounds. Through the strands of hair in his face, Jim watched as Doyler turned bright red, pinching his eyes before losing himself in his orgasm. Moaning Jim's name, he grabbed at the sheets around them in frantic motion. His ejaculation did not come as a surprise, and yet Jim almost choked on it. Deliberately, he breathed deeply through his nose several times to relax his throat‘s muscle and allowed Doyler's hips to thrust forward once or twice. The salty liquid’s taste wasn‘t entirely new on his tongue, but still bitter as he swallowed, his checks flush, sighing with pleasure as he withdrew his mouth.

Carefully he kissed the tip of Doyler's now flaccid penis, fondling the skin between his pubic hair. He felt lazy fingers brushing his damp hair away from his forehead and he raised his head to see Doyler smiling down on him with sex tired eyes.

"Don’t go to sleep yet," Jim said. Doyler smirked his quiet hoarse laugh. "How would I dare when he pokes so hard against me calf?" That also made Jim smile. He pulled his fingers back, wiping them off on the blanket and pushed himself up until his chest rested on Doylers, skin to skin, the slightly quickened heartbeat against his own. Doyler turned his head for a kiss, and Jim closed his eyes as his face was held by two hands once more, his mouth covered with warm, full lips. They kissed long and slow, eager to enjoy the lingering endorphins of Doyler's orgasm, taking their time to taste, feel and discover each other. Doyler's hand caressed over Jim's clavicle, between his shoulder blades and down his ribs. Wherever he let his fingers rest, Jim felt hot and cold chills run through his skin. Almost whiny sighs escaped his mouth. Ashamed of his own hypersensitivity, a blush rose to his face and he buried the burning cheeks in Doyler's black hair. Doyler made a satisfied sound, and Jim guessed he was grinning his typical Doyler smirk once more. When Doyler's hand reached down to his hip, skilfully sliding between his and Doyler's pelvis, he was no longer able to hold his voice back.

Suddenly he was yanked around so that two strong hands pressed his back into the pillows, one on one shoulder each. Blushing, he met the other’s eyes. By now it was around time for the sunrise, because he could almost completely recognise Doyler's features in the morning light. He looked so incredibly handsome that it it stripped him from all worry, the heat leaving his cheeks and going straight downward between his legs. As if Doyler had known, he moved his finger to Jim’s cock, slowly stroking up and down. Jim dug his fingers into Doyler's shoulder blades, groaning softly as he loosened his grip to let his fingers wander to the tip and stroke it. "Please," Jim gasped and Doyler kissed his auricle, enclosing his heat in a firm grip. Jim could now sense something inside him, like lava in a volcano wanting to break out of him, like an avalanche threatening to roll over him. It was much too fast and he bit his lower lip. Meanwhile, Doyler nibbled his collarbone. The hand on his cock had resumed to a fast rhythm and Jim knew that he couldn’t hold it much longer.

"Doyler— Doyler," he sobbed as hot waves sloshed over him. Every part of his skin was tingling. He threw his head back, dug his heels into the mattress, and wrapped his arms around Doyler's back. Doyler's tongue bathed his neck, kissing him there and sucking on his skin. It was as if thousands of raging storms swept him away, Doyler's heartbeat was all around him, just like his lips, fingers, body and heat was filling him, Jim, with warmth. And then: Euphoria. He couldn’t think of anything. His mind blank, cheeks wet with salt water. Somewhere, in a hidden place of his consciousness, he felt Doyler's hand stroke his hard belly.

Tickling fingers touched the tip of his nose, his temples. Lazily, Jim opened his eyelids. To no one’s surprise, ever-black eyes returned his gaze. He was still lying on his back, Doyler's bare chest on his, heartbeat to heartbeat. Sunlight glittered through the heavy curtains and was it birds he heard twittering? It was a good day to go down to Forty Foot for a swim.

Doyler's face slid into his field of vision completely then, his teeth sparkling between his lips in a warm smile. Alive, Jim thought, hot feelings in his heart spilling over, burning in his eyes. His arms were limp at his sides so he lifted them and embraced Doyler.

"Doyler," he whispered on his lips. "I love you." Please don’t leave me, he wanted to say. But it remained unspoken.

"I love you, Jim," Doyler answered, intertwining their fingers. And then, "Straight as a rush," they laughed with one voice.