Work Header

Kill Gabriel Agreste 2k19

Chapter Text

Nino added Marinette and Alya to the chat.


Nino changed chat name to Kill Gabriel Agreste 2k19


Nino: gabriel is a punk ass bitch, send tweet


Alya: uh, did I miss something???


Nino: gabriel can suck my dick


Nino: but not really


Nino: I’m not into abusive assholes and i have girlfriend


Alya: abusive??? 


Alya: nino s p i l l


Alya: right now or I’m gonna come for you


Nino: y’know how adrien’s dad has always been a bit of an asshat?


Alya: yeah?


Nino: it’s worse than just that


Alya: oh god


Alya: okay, how do you know and what do you mean


Nino: I always suspected his dad was even less friendly than he made it out to be but like… 


Nino: f u c k 


Nino: it’s just a bunch of small shit i’ve recently been thinking about


Nino: then it all just


Nino: got tied together right now in my head


Alya: nino what is going on, stop being vague


Alya: you’re scaring me


Nino: ok


Nino: he keeps him in the house as much as possible


Nino: he barely lets him have friends


Nino: adrien is always overworked


Nino: he barely sees him


Nino: ever


Nino : and if his dad doesn’t care enough about him to even give him a proper fucking birthday present we can assume he’s not even there for adrien at important events


Nino: not like that’d give him a pass


Nino: he can lick my dirty-ass boots


Nino : ‘but nino’ you say ‘surely adrien has some good parental role model in his life’


Nino: and to that i say fuck you metaphorical person


Nino: and gabriel agreste


Nino: and every adult in that household except the gorilla


Nino: bless gorilla, he’s the man


Nino : adrien had to fucking sneak out,,,, to gO TO SCHOOL


Nino: this ray of sunshine was so deprived of experiences and friends that he had to rebel against his dad to go to a place most of us consider h e l l


Nino: and apparently his father uses that as leverage sometimes


Nino: l e v e r a g e


Nino: so maybe some people will see that and go ‘it’s like, okay cool, rough luck buddy.’ but i got some news for you


Nino: this is neglect and emotion abuse and gabriel arrested can catch these hands in his frapachino looking whip-cream ass hair and that stupid candy cane ascot


Nino: ascot’s have been out of style since scooby doo 


Nino : famous fashion designer my a s s


Alya: wow


Alya: I knew it was bad but like


Alya: what the fuck


Alya: imma hunt him down right this second, brb


Marinette: Hey guys, what’s going on and why are we killing Gabriel Agreste???? 


Marinette : He’s a brilliant fashion designer and our friend’s dad , what is going on???


Alya: read everything


Marinette: ????


Marinette: oh


Marinette: OH


Marinette: OH MY GOD


Marinette: Nino are you completely sure about this? Sure Adrien mentions his dad being distant, but he went out of his way to give Adrien that hug on the runway after the Akuma attack? And Adrien never mentioned any of this stuff.


Nino: marinette, i understand the concern, i get it, but i am sure about this. adrien mentions this stuff to me


Nino: he never makes it a big deal so i didn’t


Nino: he always swears up and down his father cares but 


Nino: i felt icky about it today and i actually put everything he said down on paper and 


Nino: yikes


Alya changed chat name to Petition to Murder Gabriel Agreste 


Alya: we ride at dawn


Alya: in the pale sunlight of a weak morning we shall do the deed


Nino: im in


Marinette: no murder, guys


Marinette: but yeah


Marinette: i always looked up to Agreste


Marinette: i wanted to work with him when i got the chance


Marinette: he was my idol and my crush’s father


Marnette : he complimented me on my work and now it feels so wrong


Alya: i get it girl


Marinette: I can’t believe i used to want to be just like him


Nino: it’s not your fault marinate, you had no idea


Alya: all we can do now is murder him


Marinette: we can’t do that to adrien, even if he’d be better off without that smug son of a snow cone


Marinette: god, who wears an entirely white suit and a canadian-looking ascot???


Marinette: i was blinded by his success, i never saw how trash he always looked and was


Alya: roast his ass mari!!!


Alya: drag his toupee through the mud!!!


Nino: so what do we do now guys?


Nino: gabriel is powerful


Nino: and no one believes us kids without proof


Nino: emotional abuse is always harder to prove


Alya: fuck


Alya: you’re right


Alya: gabriel arrested can rot in hell


Marinette: I’ll tell you what we do


Marinette: we be there for adrien


Marinette: and we help him when he asks for it and when he needs it


Marinette: okay?


Alya: okay…


Nino: ok


Alya: I still think we should kill gabriel


Alya: how hard could it be?


Alya: guys?


Alya: guys come on


Alya: fine, no murder


Alya: happy?


Marinette: not really, but it must be done

Nino: we can still murder him in spirit