Warning! It's deep first, but then it gets better. Please tell me how I did.
Depression is a disease. Most people treat depression as a joke, I mean, it’s funny right? Someone feeling so self-loathing or feeling terrified and alone is great! Let’s laugh about it, c’mon, it’s just a joke right?
Not a joke.
Humans are so emotionally constipated we only have three out-lets for our feelings;
Deniyal, Lashing out uncontrollably, and covering things with addictive tendencies. When I was younger I would wear my heart on my sleeve, un-afraid of the consequences. I would look at some-one and say, “No...This is how I feel.” And be able to state my feelings. As the years went by that faded. The constant pressure to feel socially accepted by my peers built up, I kept letting myself get shut-down and ‘put in my place.’ I became so introverted and full of pain. I hated it.
Then I remember turning to the internet. There were people like me, who wanted to disappear. Others like me who felt judged for the way the looked, what they liked and who they liked. I found a community. Anime was something that I had always grown up with, but when I actually started paying attention to the characters and getting a deeper sense of communication, I realized that a fictional character could relate to me more than my family could. It became my escape. But I ended up relying it on too much. So naturally when I got grounded and all my electronics were taken away I panicked. I had become emotionally codependent with Characters from a Manga series. Then the worse thing happened. I was introduced to drugs and alcohol. They quickly filled the hole in my heart and I began to use and use until I forgot about my problems. All the things I did love became everelent. All that was on my mind now was, ‘I could use a smoke’ or ‘I wonder what my Mom will do when she realizes I watered down her whisky. Will she notice?’ All the love for anime went out the window and was replaced by an unhealthy obsession with drugs. As the years went by, I didn’t realize how far gone I was. Everything changed when I overdosed. And when I woke up I was face to face with Someone I thought wasn’t real.
Izuku Midoriya from My Hero Academia.
As angelic as he was, I wasn’t thrilled, but waking up in a fictional character’s room naked was something I really wasn’t in the mood for. And neither was having a scales, wings and a tail. I did what any other person would do in that situation. I sighed deeply, looked around for a cigarette before saying, “Why the hell am I here? And I um...Do you potentially have any alcohol?” Let’s just say The pour boy fainted and I was left naked, hankering for a beer and more than confused. But then the strangest voice spoke softly,
“You need the help. This is only to help.” It was low and familiar, a voice I without a doubt had heard before.
“Fuck your help, I don’t want it. I was just fine on my own.” What I said wasn’t convincing and I didn’t care, I just wanted to be dead. There was a long silence before the voice spoke again sternly,
“These people will help you just like they did in the past. Just open up and let it in.” Without hesitance I spat back,
“I don’t need any-one, I-” My body glowed a silver color making me sleepy.
“You shall thank me later. But for now, you must rest.” And like that I was out. And when I woke up next, I wouldn’t believe my life, but for now I was passed out and generally disappointed with everything. I was angsty and had no space for fun.
“Just remember,” The voice echoed, “This is to save you.”
My only thought was, ‘how can a bunch of anime characters save me when they don’t even exist?’ I thought it was stupid. I didn’t take any of them seriously. But hey, maybe this is one sick trip I got off my drugs? Maybe I could have fun with it?
My mind shut off as I slipped into unconsciousness. I wasn’t in store for what was going to happen next.
Alrighty! I'm going to need a brave volunteer to help fill in a character gaps and If you want to be a volunteer leave a comment!
Please let me know how this is, constructive criticism is good.