What am I supposed to type? Uh anyway. Welcome to my One shot book. Request might not be answered. X reader? I’ll try. Hmmm. Let’s see. No lemons or Smut. Maybe a little NSFW but not too much. Like a Lime or something. Let’s get this party started! Enjoy your stay! Or as Snatcher says.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! YOU BLEW IT! YOU’VE TOTALLY SCREWED YOURSELF!
Chapter 2: La-Lassie?!
The Conductor never like DJ Grooves. But Hat Kid had grown on the old owl. What happens when things get out of hand?
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
L-Lassie?( Yandere!Conductor x Hat Kid x DJ Grooves)( Platonic. EXTREMELY PLATONIC JUST CAUSE HE YAN DOES’T MEAN HE LOVE HER LIKE DAT!)
The conductor couldn’t quite understand it. Why? Why would the young lass choose to spend her time with that…. No good,… Award Stealing,…. FLASHY IDIOTIC…. PECK NECK?! The Conductor always disliked DJ Grooves. It started on a normal Tuesday morning, Hat Kid was dropping by for her normal visit to see the Conductor and DJ Peck Neck- Er…. Grooves. She started towards the Conductor’s side when DJ called her over.
“Hi DJ Grooves!”
“Hello Darling, great to see you bright and early on this looooovely day!”
Hat Kid snickers at his energetic self. She shakes her head. ‘Maybe the Conductor could wait just a little longer….’ She sighs before glancing at the door to see the grumpy Owl-ish creature.
“So darling, would you like to help me in my next, upcoming premier?!” DJ Grooves did a little spin. Hat Kid’s eyes became stars. “ WOULD I?!” She started walking and talking with DJ Grooves about it.
Meanwhile the Conductor taped one of his claws on his arm chair. The lass was supposed to be here 2 minutes ago. He heaves a sigh. ‘Maybe the lassie forgot today? Yea. Yer worrying yerself over Nothin.’ The Conductor sighs to himself and looks up. ‘Or did that … Peck neck DJ Grooves get er? Ugh. Blast that flashy, bird brained Peck.’ Well… no point in mopping around. He’s got a movie to film!
Another 3 hours had past. Where was Hat Kid?! The Conductor sighs and turns around,…… only to see Hat Kid walking with DJ Grooves while holding one of his hands
flippers?. The first thing that crossed his mind was shock and betrayal. How could she? “La-Lassie?” His voice came out soft, and uncertain. Hat Kid turns back to see his heartbroken expression. She came to a halt and looked at him. DJ Grooves turned as well.
“Well nice to see you Conductor darling.” The Conductor gritted his teeth
beak??? Oh how he H A T E D that darn Penguin. First stealing his award, now stealing his star?! Well Conductor seems to think of her more as his kid Hat Kid felt the tension grow in the air, and she knew if she did nothing something was bound to go wrong.
“You..... you GOOD FOR NOTHING BIRD BRAINED PECK NECK! HOW COULD YOU JUST TAKE HER LIKE YOU OWN ER?!” The Conductor was FUMING. Hat Kid thought she knew how angry he could be, but this was a whole new level. Might even be able to rival the Snatcher..... she was snapped out of her thoughts when she had been picked up by the fuming owl
“C-Conductor?! Put me d-down!” She stuttered out. DJ Grooves snatches the poor child back. Hat Kid wasn’t sure of what to make of her predicament, but she knew this wasn’t over. She sighs, knowing she had to choose one of them.
(DJ Grooves Ending)
“Conductor,” she started softly. “You’re a great guy and all, but I like hanging out with DJ Grooves a lot more. I’m sorry-“
The Conductor has had enough. “No, it’s aight lassie. I understand.” Hat Kid stares in disbelief. He was taking this rather well. That’s not a good sign. Next thing she knows is that everything was going black. She heard a muffled sound of DJ Grooves trying to reason while hearing a sinister chuckle of the Conductor.
“She’s Mine lad, the Lassie is M I N E.” DJ Grooves backs away slowly. “Yer not keepen the lass away from me, Grooves.” The Conductor let out a growl. Now this was a whole new level. Grooves knew the Conductor disliked him, but the look in his eyes showed pure hatred.
well if the Conductor had eyes- This clearly was far from good. “I’ll show yer what happens to those that get in me way.” The Conductor raises a knife and in one swift motion, stabs DJ Grooves in the chest. Now it was break time so no one heard this. The Moon Penguin howls in pain. How could this happen to him. “Hehehehehe. I told yer. The Lassie is mine.” The Owl(?) proceeds to grab the poor Penguin by the neck, and throw him into one of the many ditches. Good riddance. The Conductor walks back over, picks up Hat Kid, and walks away. “It’ll be alright now, Lass. I’m here.”
( Conductor Ending)
“DJ Grooves? May you put me down?” The Moon Penguin looks at her surprised, but obeys her wishes none the less. Hat Kid walks slowly over to the Conductor,…… and gives him a hug. The Conductor’s response was immediate. He hugged her tightly. She chuckles softly. “Lassie…. Please don’t ever do that to me again. Yer in for it if it happens again.” Hat Kid stiffens a bit at the small threat. The Conductor chuckles and rubs her back, she relaxes a bit in his arms. DJ had left already. “Aight lassie, let’s head home.”
Well this was a fun one to write. Hoo boy. No this is not supposed to be romantic. It’s platonic. I am fully aware that Hat Kid is a CHILD. And the Conductor was A MARRIED MAN. I AM AWARE. DON’T HARASS ME
Chapter 3: Overprotective Dad To The Rescue!( Yandere! Conductor x Hat Kid x Mustache Girl)
Okay so this is an alternate Timeline to the previous one shot. Same concept except.... we’ll DJ Grooves is alive. Mafia shouldn’t bully the little lass. MU and Hat Kid shall be siblings in this version... so it’s kinda an AU. Okay. Let’s a go.
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Hat Kid and MU crawl back to the red-hooded girls’s hideout. The Mafia really did a number on the two. Hat Kid’s arm was a bit dislocated. MU on the other hand had to get a cast for her leg sooner or later. “Man....... dad is gonna be piiiiissed.” The young hatted child groaned out. “No kidding. Those no good bad guys.” MU responded with a sigh. A sudden yowl of pain escapes the Mustached girl as she moves her right leg. “Darn. It’s broken.” Hat Kid sighs. This is actually the first time the Mafia has broken one of either of the girls bones. “C’mon... we should get home before-“ “Before what, Lassie.” Both girls turn to see their adoptive father, The Conductor. ‘We’re so screwed.’ They thought simultaneously. “H-hey Dad. How- howzit going?” Hat Kid stutters out nervously. The Conductor tilts his head. “Lassie,.... what happened?” MU interjects immediately. “It was the Mafia again! They dislocated Hattie’s arm and broke my leg!” The Conductor twitches. “Aight the lassie’s. Let’s get yer both to the hospital.” And that was that.
About an hour later, the Conductor was back at Mafia town. He casually flips his knife and then throws it, hitting a Mafia goon straight in the chest. More over a coincidence, it was one of the same ones that attacked Hat Kid and Mustache Girl. The Mafia goon winced at the knife going into his chest, before exploding with a satisfying pop. The Conductor chuckles darkly. Casually catching the soul in a jar as well, knowing Hat Kid, she would probably go see the Snatcher later. He sets off to find another unsuspecting Mafia goon. Walking up to him casually, The Conductor takes his knife, and stabs it into the Mafia goon’s back. He heard several satisfying cracks and screams as he drags the knife through the poor Mafia’s back. He moves on in his short killing spree before returning to the hospital to find the girls. Hat Kid was watching TV, all bandaged up, while MU was sleeping silently, with her cast on her broken leg.
Deciding to scare his unsuspecting daughter, the Conductor stealthily walks up to her, and picks her up. “Here’s me favorite daughter!” Hat Kid screamed in complete surprise. “DAD WHY?!” She screeched. The Conductor chuckles. “Sorry lass. Got carried away.” Hat Kid shakes her head. “Dad you’re covered in blood again.” The Conductor looks down at himself. Oops. Oh well
..... Hehehehe. Yep. I like this idea of Conductor being like this. Platonic Yanderes are fun to me.
Chapter 5: ALL STAR (SHITPOST TO KEEP THIS BOOK GOING)
Ashley decides to run around singing All Star
I'M SO SORRY
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Ashley slams the door open with a loud THUD "some- BODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME! I AIN'T THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!" "Sis plz nu." "SHE WAS LOKING KIND OF DUMB WITH HER FINGER AND HER THUMB IN THE SHAPE OF AN "L" ON HER FOREHEAD!" Snatcher puts a claw over the girl's mouth. "KIDDO. S T O P."
I HAVE NO REGRETS THOUGH
Chapter 6: Princess or Mother( Snatcher x Oc x Moonjumper x Hat Kid)
Truthfully.... love comes in many forms. I had an idea where one of my oc’s was immortal and was the royal advisor for Both Snatcher and Vanessa’s families. But uh- ya know. Stuff happens. Probs gonna make a story on it. I BELIEVE IN THE THEORY OF SNATCHER AND MOONJUMPER BEING THE SAME PERSON IN LIFE, BUT SEPARATE IN DEATH. Vanessa isn't here but she hates my OC after assuming Ashley was going to take the prince from her.
Hat Kid= normal
Snatcher and Moonjumper are romantic ship.( with Ashley)
Hat Kid is platonic with Ashley.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Ashley AlphaSaphire was currently helping Hat Kid with counting her Time Pieces. “37. I’m missing 3.” Hat Kid sighs- then remembers that she didn't check ALL of Subbcon. She rushes off to her bedroom, Ashley not far behind. After setting her teleporter to where she wants to go, Hat Kid grabs Ashley's hand and off they go. After a good minute or so, they both land right outside Snatcher's tree. Hat Kid lets go of Ashley and runs inside. "HEY BFF!" She shouted at the slightly surprised Snatcher. Said ghost blinks before going, "Kid, I thought I told you to get out. We're done, finished, I don't have a need for you." Truth be told, he didn't mind the child dropping in- from time to time that is- NOT EVERYDAY! He sighs, Hat Kid's attention was away from him and to the doorway, before giving off a smug face and snatching his book. SHE JUST SNATCHED A BOOK FROM THE SNATCHER. She makes a mad dash for the forest, Ashley following quickly. Ashley was aware of the Snatcher's anger, after all, she and him have a long history together. Snatcher took a good minute to process what just happened, before letting out a furious roar. "OH P E C K" Hat Kid screams and quickly puts on her sprint hat. Ashley doing the same with her cloak. "HATTIE WHY DID YOU TAKE HIS BOOK?!" "I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY!" Hat Kid retaliated to the black haired female. "KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID! WHEN I FIND YOU- YOU'LL WISHED YOU'D HAVE DIED IN OUR BATTLE!" "OH P E C K U S" They haven't stopped running- HOWEVER- their gear does have to cool down every once in a while. Diving into one of the minions houses, they stay there, QUIETLY trying to catch their breath. "Kid. If you come out now, it'll be easier on you." Ashley makes a 'sssshhh' motion. "I'm getting impatient. IF I FIND YOU- IT W O N ' T B E P R E T T Y." Hat Kid begins to shake, she just wanted to do a harmless prank. "I'M GIVING YOU TILL THE COUNT OF THREE!" Ashley gets an idea, grabbing the book from the Hatted child, she jumps out the house and makes a mad dash. Snatcher, not realizing it wasn't Hat Kid, immediately goes after the retreating figure. Hat Kid waits until she can no longer hear him yelling, and runs back to the ship. Meanwhile Ashley makes a sharp turn and quickly climbs a tree. Seeing he over shot the tree she was in, she relaxes just a tad bit. Sitting down, she heaves a sigh. " Well hello." Ashley looks to her side, seeing another old friend of her's. "Oh! Hey Moonjumper. What's up?" "I should be asking you the same thing." "Hattie took Snatcher's book, and now he's furious. I decided to cover for her while she made a run for it, back to the ship." "Sounds pretty motherly of you. Or sister-like." "Pfft yeah. Me. Motherly." Unfortunately Snatcher was coming back and spotted the two. "HEY! MOONBOY! GET AWAY FROM HER!" Ashley AND Moonjumper facepalm. "IS IT THAT HARD TO GET MY/HIS NAME RIGHT?!" The two share a glance, before bursting into a fit of laughter. Snatcher's eye twitches, before grabbing the purple-hood wearing female off the branch. Moonjumper's eye twitches slightly. Ashley luckily had not dropped the book. She sighs with a small blush. This again. Moonjumper hops off the tree. "Now, now Snatcher, my friend. Why go through all this trouble to keep our fair maiden of a friend away from me?'
Probably a stupid question to ask Moonjumper. "Because, MOONBOY. She came in MY FOREST. Therefore she is MY PROPERTY." Ashley was unaware of what to make of this. So, to escape the escalating conversation, she switches to her Time-Stop Cloak, activating it, she gets out of Snatcher's grasp. Placing his book in her place, she quickly dashes of, aware of the cat and mouse game that would soon come into pursuit. When the time stop faded however, this is what rang in her ears as she picked up her pace. "OH PRINCESS~ COME ON BACK HERE~" "OH SHIT." Ashley never thought she could run so fast without her sprint cloak. Unfortunately, she tripped. Only to realize something- or someONE caught her. 'SHIT' She thought silently. Well crap. Being forcefully turned around, her eyes meet two bright yellow sockets. "Caught ya, Ashley." The over probably 5,000 year old female tries to get out of the purple floofy, noodle- like ghost's grip, hardly to any avail. Snatcher let's out a sinister laugh. Suddenly Ashley gets pulled out of his grasp into the teleporter. ONCE AGAIN, HAT KID HAS SNATCHED FROM THE SNATCHER. Hat Kid and Ashley let out a sigh of relief. "Mafia Town? Or Dead Bird Studios?" "Dead Bird." And that's where they went. Ashley sighs. "CONDUCTOR?! COOOOOOONDUUUUCTOOOOOR?!" The Conductor walks out his side of the building. "Well if it isn't the little lass. Howzit goin?" Hat Kid smiles and hugs him, the Conductor chuckles softly. Ashley smiles at the sight of this. Maybe the strange owl man was a good father to this child. The Conductor pats the young hatted child's head, before they break from the hug. "Snatcher is pecking furious with us. Mainly me for-" she pauses, and snorts. "SNATCHING his book, and Ashley out of his hands." The Conductor at first, was about to scold the child, but then he began to howl with laughter. Who is this kid? Ashley sighs.
It was about a week later after Hat Kid visited Subbcon. She decided to go back and apologize to Snatcher for stealing his book. When she got to his tree however, he wasn't there. She heard arguing in the distance. She hops on one foot before hopping down. Keeping her balance, she proceeds to hop from one foot to the other. She peeks out from behind a tree. The little girl hears both Snatcher and Moonjumper arguing over something- or rather someone. "Oh? And you think she'll choose you right off the bat? That woman we knew since our childhood is SO MOTHERLY SHE'D CHOOSE HAT KID over YOU!"
Ouch. Might need some ice for that one Snatcher.... not like you need it anyway. "Right. And she'd pick YOU? FAKE PRINCE WANNABE!" AUGH THAT STINGS. Jeez. This is a WHOLE NEW LEVEL OF SELF LOATHING. "FINE! Whoever wins her heart gets to keep her. F O R E V E R." Hat Kid lets out a silent gasp. Forever. That means she wouldn't see the mother figure she held so deeply to her heart EVER AGAIN. "D E A L" The little girl had to warn Ashley, she had to. Stepping backwards- THE MOST O B V I O U S CLICHE HAPPENS- Hat Kid snaps a twig. The two ghost turn around, fast enough to see the hatted child swapping into her Sprint Hat. Hat Kid, realizing she's been spotted, activates the Hat, and runs to her teleporter. "AAAAAAAAAAND She's gonna tell Ashley." "Damnit" It didn't take long for Hat Kid to locate Ashley. "Mom?MOM WAKE UP!" The child didn't have time to realize what she said, this was too urgent. Ashley opens her eyes and rolls over to look at the frantic child. Hat Kid tries to explain what she heard. "Woah-WOAH. Okay Hattie, sweetheart. Slow down a bit there." The Hatted child takes a deep breath, and repeats everything. Ashley nods and sighs. "Why am I not surprised? It was bound to happen. But.....don't worry Hattie, I'm not gonna leave you." Hat Kid smiles at her mother-like figure. The two headed down to Subbcon, with dread in the pits of their stomachs.
Subbcon seemed oddly more- eerie than usual. As in that there wasn't even a Minion- NOT EVEN A DWELLER- in sight. Ashley treads lightly, making sure to avoid any of Snatcher's traps. Looking around, Hat Kid begins to grow tired, almost falling asleep on Ashley's back. "WHY HEEEEELLLLOOOO THERE! YOU DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT ME, DID YOU?! DON'T TELL ME YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME." "How would I forget you, your majesty?" Ashley inquired, in a rhetorical way. Snatcher eyes lit up in a way that seemed to make him look amused. "So, what's up Sweetheart?"
Well that's totally not out of character. Sweetheart? That's a new one. "HOLD UP YOU POOL NOODLE!" Ashley snorts a bit on accident. Why was that so funny?! "Oh heyyyyyyyy. What's up?!" Snatcher puts an arm around Ashley, really casual. Moonjumper glares and if he still had feet, he would have been tapping his foot on the ground. at the floofy purple ghost. "You tried to do this unfairly." Snatcher scoffs. "Whatever do you mean?" Snatcher tries to make himself look as innocent as possible. Ashley sighs. "Well, Sweetheart. We've been hiding something from you, but assuming Hat Kid told you already.... well... who do you choose?" Ashley looks at them both with uncertainty. Sure she loved them both, but she can't abandon this child that is sleeping on her back. It's unfair to her. "I choose.... I-I choose..."
"I choose......I choose Snatcher." A soft red hue appears on the 5,679 year old's face as she says the name. Moonjumper looks down, and grits his teeth. All that time she spent with him, waiting for him, having fun with him. All for nothing. He tears up before floating off, not without leaving a threat. "M A R K my words Snatcher, when I return from my horizon, I WILL HAVE SUBBCON. Along with EVERYONE LIVING IN IT'S AREA. That includes BOTH ASHLEY A N D HAT KID." Ashley looks at him sadly as he floats off. There could have been a much more peaceful solution to that, couldn't there have been? She wasn't sure what she could have done, but something else was better than letting him go, heartbroken and full of hate. Snatcher however, was completely unfazed by Moonjumper's threat, and instead picks up Ashley and Hat Kid happily. This shadow truly believed he would never love again, but here he is, loving his advisor from when he was alive. He felt some sort of heartbeat. Floating back to his tree, he makes a small makeshift bed for Hat Kid. Sitting back down in his chair, he sets Ashley on an armrest. He looks directly at her as she stares back. Her face had darkened a couple of shades. Catching her a bit off guard, he kisses her forehead softly. Ashley squeaks. "Y-You missed." He raises an eyebrow, unaware of what she meant. Before he knew it, she grabbed both sides of his face, leans in, and full on kisses him. Snatcher's eyes widen before relaxing and kissing back. Of course she had to pull away for air, so he sets in her lap, and cuddles her. "I love you." "Love you too, you pecking jerk." Snatcher laughs. "That was uncalled for." "I know"
"I choose Moonjumper." Snatcher floats off, crushed. That's the last time he's loving ANYONE. He can't believe he could be so STUPID. Ashley holds her arm, in an awkward way. She mutters out a small sorry, soft enough for Snatcher to hear, but not Moonjumper. Snatcher freezes, Ashley looks at him. When he gets back to his tree however, he finds a whole note explaining a whole apology. Maybe.... just maybe he will love again, just not now. Moonjumper however, was ECSTATIC. He hugs her softly, trying not to wake Hat Kid up. "Where in the forest shall we go now? My dear princess." Ashley looks at him. "Lemme do something REEEEAAAAL quick" Just like magic, Moonjumper's shackles fall off. He's free...... HE'S FREE! He tackles Ashley to the ground, thanking her. Luckily Hat Kid didn't't wake up. Ashley chuckles softly at the blue-skinned male. He helps her up, and they wander around. They watch the moon while also star gazing. It was a great night. Ashley led him back to the ship, and then they had a sleepover. "Love you, Princess" "Love ya too, Moonboy" "NOT YOU TOO!" "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
HAT KID ENDING( BAD VERSION) (a.k.a YOU'RE N O T L E A V I N G)
"I choose to go with Hat Kid. I'm sorry guys- but she needs me-" "No. No SHE doesn't. WE need you. I NEED YOU!" What's gotten into him? Snatcher sounded a lot more crazed. Like he lost majority of his sanity. Ashley looks to Moonjumper for SOME help, but he seemed to have that same look Snatcher did. This can't be good. Backing away slowly, Ashley wasn't sure whether or not to run. Snatcher picks her up, while Moonjumper sets Hat Kid at Snatcher's tree. "Oh we'll take good care of you, oh we will. We just can't let you leave. Not again, N O T E V E R." "You're stuck with us now, P R I N C E S S~" OH P E C K
HAT KID ENDING ( GOOD)(A.K.A Till We Meet Again)
"I choose to go with Hat Kid. She's just a child in space. She really needs me-" "Stop." Ashley looks at him, uncertain. "It's okay Princess. I understand." Snatcher nods. They both just smile, although it seems a tad forced. "We'll come back soon guys, I promise." The two ghost look at one another. " So. Truce?" Moonjumper holds out a hand for Snatcher to shake. "Truce" They both shake hands. "Till we meet again?" "Till we meet again!" They all have a small 5 minute hug, before going separate ways. Hat Kid wakes up, slightly groggy. "Are- are we leaving?" Ashley nods. "YAY!" Hat Kid rushes to the telaporter. "Don't worry about the 39 time pieces only thing. I gave one to MU" Ashley nods as the two settle down in Hattie's ship. As they head to Hat Kid's home, Ashley sighs, twirling a familiar purple quil in her hand.
*breathes in**exhales**slams head on desk* THIS TOOK ME A TOTAL OF 16 HOURS TO WRITE!!! S I X T E E N H O U R S! DO YOU KNOW HOW INFURIATING THAT IS?! THE YANDERE CONDUCTOR ONE-SHOTS TOOK ROUGHLY AROUND 6 HOURS.( Mainly several 15 minute work times) ALL TOGETHER! AND THIS THING TOOK ALMOST A DAY ALTOGETHER!!!!!!!! I NEED TO SLEEP! What has my life come to? I dunno. Well. Maybe drop in the comments suggestions for the next one-shot. I currently have a Dadtcher AU one-shot in the making.... that'll be published PECK KNOWS WHEN! This was pretty fun to write while listening to COVERS OF "OTHER FRIENDS" WITH SNATCHER AND "OLD TOWN ROAD" WITH THE CONDUCTOR (God bless the soul of whoever made those covers cause D A M N IT'S FUNNY TO LISTEN TO AND THE IMPRESSION IS PRETTY SPOT ON) Thank you for listening to me rant. Kuddos? Comment? Subscribe? Please and thank you
E D I T: 7 2 H O U R S
E D I T : 8 4 H O U R S. ALL STAR DOES NOT HELP
Fun Fact: The Original set up for the confession idea was going to be Moonjumper starting the confession, before Snatcher jumps in shouting "HOLD UP, M O O N B O Y" reason for it's change cause when I kept forgetting to save my draft, it kept deleting, and I decided to take a new approach, so this happened. Honestly, calling Snatcher a "POOL NOODLE" was much more funny than " M O O N B O Y"