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Moments to cherish- Jake and Amy

Chapter Text

She shouldn’t feel like this. This was the right thing! They killed a man for gods sake! She stands up and brushes the tears away from her face. She combs her hair with her fingers and hopes she doesn’t look too bad.

She takes three deep breathes in and out and prepares herself. ‘Let’s hope this won’t be too awkward’. She pushes the doors of the evidence locker open and makes her way to the bull pin.

Terry sees her as he heads into the briefing room. “Santiago there you are! We have a meeting in the briefing room.”. She just nods and slips through the door Terry holds open for her. Jake sits in the last row staring at his hands.

Charles next to him desperately tries to have a conversation with his best friend but he fails as he only gets short one-word answers. Amy bites her lip und quickly takes the seat next to Rosa who sits in the first row. Terry enters and takes his place in the front. “Okay, 99. We have a tough few days behind us. What happened today was clearly horrible, but no one’s fault!” he clearly looks at Amy and Jake at this sentence.

“We now have to stick together and work more in a team than ever before. We must face what happens and prepare for everything. Now, our new captain will probably arrive tomorrow, and we need to make a very good impression, okay?” Everyone nods and Terry takes the word again “Now, Diaz, Boyle, you will go and check out that contact which was given on the drug case. Peralta, Santiago: I want the reports of your undercover from yesterday on my desk before you leave. Dismissed!”

Terry leaves the room first, following are Charles and Rosa already discussing how to move on with their new contact. Amy stands up and so does Jake behind her. They walk to their significant desks in an awkward silence.

Jake takes the files on his messy desk and immediately starts typing. Amy sighs, her question from the evidence locker is answered. Who knows how long it will take until she gets her best friend and partner back?

“Hey Jake, guess what! Just found a voucher for this Italian place two blocks from you! Expires today, want to come?” Charles asks excitedly. “Sure, why not.” Jake answers to his friend rather plain. Charles beams and leaves with Rosa. Both, Jake and Amy type in silence until their hours end. Charles and Rosa come in shortly before Amy leaves. “Made a reservation for us at nine so we still have time.”. “‘k. Let’s go to my place.” Jake exclaims still not full of cheerfulness like usually.

Amy finishes the last bit of her report and then leaves too. Her whole being still trying to wrap it’s head around the events of the day. In her car she doesn’t turn on her music like usually. She drives to her flat in silence and as soon as she reached her building she enters completely numb and unaware of her surroundings. She drops her keys in the box next to the door and gets herself a beer.

‘Okay, Santiago. Let’s go over the facts. You lost your captain, your mentor, a good friend because he will definitely not be happy with you breaking you and his best friend up, you lost your boyfriend. The one who is always there for you.’ She takes a huge gulp of her beer ‘You are completely alone.’. She presses her hands on her eyes, to prevent the salty tears from spilling. She thinks about who she could talk to. Who she wants to talk to.

She shots up, spilling her beer on the floor. “Jake!”. ‘Why the heck am I so stupid?’. She grabs her coat and her keys and hurries to the elevator. ‘Wonderful irony. The one person I want to talk to, I just pushed away from me for silly reasons (maybe not completely since we fricking killed someone).’ She runs to her car hoping she will catch him before he leaves for the restaurant, since knowing herself, she will spiral if she has more time to think. She honks at every single driver that even tried to squeeze himself before her. She constantly has the feeling of having forgotten something in her plan.

Finally, she reaches his building. She runs up the stairs until she reaches the 5th floor. She makes her way to apartment number 508. She wants to knock but she freezes. What if he says no? What if he came to the realisation of her being right? What if he had enough of her now? She wants to lower her hand and leave before she regrets it but the door flies open just in that moment.


“Sorry! Sorry!”.
She screams as Jake opens the door. “It’s okay…” he answers rather startled but with a smile. “I…was home and I really wanted to talk to someone about us and Dozerman and Holt being gone…and then I realised that…the only person I want to talk to about that stuff is you! So…screw just being colleagues, and screw light and breezy, right?” she ends her monologue with tears building in her eyes. Jake smiles at her and sighs in relief “Definitely!”

They just look each other in the eyes, happy smiles on their faces. Then Charles scoops in and places himself in the middle of both. “Guys, we did! We really did it!”. That’s what she forgot! “Oh…Charles is here!” she said feeling dumb about having forgotten that small detail. “Big time!” Jake smiles at her. “I will add a seat to our table for you Amy!” Charles adds excitedly.

“Euhhh…buddy could you ask Gina to go with you? For a bit…quality sibling Time?” Jake asks him never taking his attention fully of the Latina woman standing in his doorway. Jake looks at him in question than it clicks “Oh! You and Amy want to shampoo and tangle your bod-“ “THAT’S enough Charles!” Jake interrupts Charles way to graphic description.

After Charles leaves, Jake pulls Amy in a tight embrace and after a nod of her he kisses her softly. Even though they’ve only been together for a day and apart for half a day, it feels like coming home after an awfully long trip.

Amy puts her arms around Jakes neck, pulling him even closer. Jake runs his hands over her wonderful back placing them on her hips. The kiss heats up even more and Amy clings to Jake with her legs around his waist. Jake and Amy have a mutual feeling of relief and happiness pumping through their bodies.

Because of the need of air, she breaks the kiss, but her forehead remains on Jakes. “I’m sorry you missed your dinner…” she says with a smile. “I was going to miss it anyway.” She looks at him inquiring. “I was about to go to your apartment to held a romantic speech to get you back.”

She smirks “Looks like a won!” she states cheekily. He raises an eyebrow and starts carrying her towards his bed “We’ll see about that” he murmurs in her ear before he drops her on the covers.

Chapter Text

Terry reappears with his phone in the hand and a worried look on his face. He talks quickly and hastily and he doesn’t even say good-bye to whoever he is talking to. Amy walks toward him and on her way glances over his shoulder to look for her husband. No Jake. “What’s wrong, Serge?” Rosa behind her asks. Terry looks horrified and as soon as his eyes find Amys his eyes show deep sorrow. “Terry, where is Jake?” she asks him. “He…he is the room. There’s a woman with a bomb in it. Threatening to blow it up.”
Amy feels like she is going to pass out. Her chest tightens and her breath hitches. Jake, the love of her life, her husband, her soulmate, could die! All blood flees from her face and she becomes completely pale. This can’t be happening! Not on their anniversary! Not after only one year of marriage! Not at all!

“Santiago?”. Terrys concerned voice doesn’t reach her ear. Amy stares blankly into the air. “Amy? Say something!” Rosa calls out to her. “Diaz, I have to handle the bomb situation, can you take care of Santiago?” Terry asks still looking concerned towards the frozen Amy. Rosa only nods and very gently, lays an arm around the shivering Amy to steer her away from the corridor.
Officers from the NYPD and the SWAT team clear the corridors to secure the patients and the nurses from the threat. ‘And who protects my husband?’ rushes through Amys brain. ‘No one is there for him!’. As Rosa sits her down on a chair several corridors away, a horrifying and terrible realisation hits her. She breaks down in sobs and Rosa is by her side immediately. “Amy? What happened? Amy!” as Rosa is touching her shoulder, Amy flinches. “I…I am a horrible person!” she screams hysterically. Rosa tilts her head and raises her eyebrow. Not what she expected. “If…if Jake…dies…my-… my last words I said to him will be about me…wanting to start with someone else!” she screams sobbing heavily.
Why did she say that? Why did she give him the idea she wants a divorce, if he doesn’t want kids?! Of course, she, at the moment, wants nothing more than kids of her own but why did he tell him, that she wants to start over? It came out of her mouth before she was able to stop it and now…those words maybe were her last towards her husband.
She looks at her wedding ring. She can’t imagine anyone else having the significant other to that ring, then Jake. Her sobs remain echoing through the hallway. Her ears listening for an explosion, for the sound that would separate her and the love of her life forever.

Even if he makes it out of the situation, will he forgive her for saying such horrible things?

Rosa keeps having her arm around Amy and eventually her sobs calm down, but the silent tears keep flowing over her cheeks. The ‘What ifs’ still flying through her head.
Hurried footsteps come towards them “Sergeant Santiago? Sergeant Jeffords sends me, the situation is clear!” an officer reports. Amy jumps out of her seat and wipes the tears on the way. She sprints down the corridor and fights her way through the turmoil of nurses, SWAT team and police men to then, finally see him.

She let’s out a sigh of relief when she realises that he is completely fine and runs towards him. “You okay?” she asks him as she hugs him tight. “Yeah I’m okay!” he answers, happy to hold her in his arms.

They walk home with Amy clinging to Jakes arm as if he is her Anker holding her down on the ground. By the time the couple reaches the car Jakes face shows a worried frown “Are you okay, Ames?” he asks and runs his fingers through Amys shining hair. She just nods and looks down, not wanting her husband to see the tear streaks. “Ames?” he asks one more time. “I…I was so worried! I was so afraid that something would happen to you! I…I was so afraid that my last words to you were about wanting to-…wanting to start over!” Amy exclaims with her tears flowing freely again. Jakes worried expression softens as he looks at his wife’s crying face.

He pulls her into a strong embrace soothing her hair and slowly drawing circles on her back with his back. “I can’t lose you!” she mumbles into his shirt. He hugs her tighter and her crying slowly decreases. “I can’t lose you either, my love.” He whispers into her ear. “Let’s get you home than, we can talk.” He adds and walks, his arm around her waist, to the other side of the car and opens the door for her. She slides in and closes the door. Jake sits down on the other side and squeezes her hand before driving towards their home.

Sitting on their sofa, eating Thai food, Amy cuddles into the side of her husband. Jake kisses the top oh her head and smiles into her hair, wondering what he ever did to deserve this wonderful and pure human being. “I love you.” He murmurs into her dark hair. “I love you too. And I could never replace you!”. His grin widens. He definitely got lucky in terms of spouse. And both of them got lucky that very night….

Chapter Text

It was cold and dark outside, and Amy Santiago sat at her desk filing the paperwork as her boyfriend, for two months now, exited the elevator, late as always. She was about to make a sassy comment towards him, when she saw his condition.

His nose was red, his face completely pale and he had heavy bags under his bloodshot eyes. In conclusion: he looked like the dead come to life. She watched him with a worried expression as he approached his desk.

He didn’t even look at her but immediately sat down and put down his head on his hands. “Jake, are you okay?” she asked him. He looked up with a frown “Of course! Why wouldn’t I be?”. His voice was raspy, and he ended with a cough.

“Babe, you look like a corpse!” Amy exclaimed sceptically while tilting her head. “What? No! I’m fine!” he sat up straight and Sie sand he cleared his throat. Jake looked at his computer screen, obviously trying to avoid the conversation.

"Jake, you're not okay! You are sick! Everyone can see that, babe! Jake looked at her and gave her an annoyed look. "Ames, just let it go. I'm completely healthy and in a wonderful state." Amy pulled up an eyebrow and shook her head over her stubborn boyfriend.

She started sorting the files again but kept looking sideways at Jake. It was obvious that he was torturing himself. He coughed over and over again and Amy's worries rose. Innocent as a deer, she stood up and walked past Jake. He just looked after her for a moment and then went back to work. Amy used the moment to sneak up on him from behind and put her flat hand on his forehead. Jake flinched and tried to push her away, but he was too weak to escape the female detective's grip.

"Jake! You are completely hot!” Jake grinned slightly, "Well, thanks babe! I can only give it back". "Jake, I'm serious! You have a fever and are obviously sick! Go home!"

Amy sat on Jake's desk right in front of him. She took his cold hands in her warm ones and made eye contact with him. He looked to the side so Amy gently put her hand on his chin and turned his face to her. "Please, Jake. Go. Home!".

Before Jake could answer, Captain Holt's voice spoke, "Peralta, do what Santiago says and go home! We need you in good health! You are forbidden to enter this building until you are healthy! Santiago, you have that to say about this situation. Get him out of here. Both of you, dismissed! Amy nodded and stood from Jake's desk on "Absolutely, sir! I'll make sure Jake gets home and then I'll get back here right away".

"No, Santiago! You won't be coming today. You go with Peralta! You also need a break. If you already come here on the weekend! Dismissed".

Captain Holt returned to his office and Amy stood there in bewilderment. Only when Jake coughed again was she pulled out of her trance. She grabbed her coat and patted Jake on the shoulder. "He annoyed her before he too took his coat and shouldered his bag. Amy rolled her eyes and reached for Jake's hand to pull him with her.

The two entered the elevator and Jake sneezed heavily, whereupon Amy searched her bag for a handkerchief. Not that she had to search long because her bag was sorted alphabetically. Jake took it nagging, still mumbling, not sick. Amy gave him a sceptical sideways glance and sighed. Why was he so stubborn?

She pulled him to her car and literally shoved him into the passenger seat. She slammed the door shut and got in on the other side. The traffic was heavy with it being late in the evening and everyone either going out or returning from work. She drove to his apartment and looked at him at every traffic light.

The second she started the car, he had fallen asleep. She smiled slightly at the sight and felt guilty as she had to pull him out of his peaceful state. She shook his shoulder slightly to wake him up. "Jake, babe, we're at your apartment." He opened his red eyes and got out sluggishly. Afterwards, she took his hand and slowly led him up the stairs.
She looked for her key to his apartment and unlocked it. Amy immediately took him to his bed and sat him down.

Carefully, she took his jacket and shoes from him and placed them neatly next to the front door. She walked towards him again and pushed him into the pillows. She pulled his badge over his neck and removed the gun from his hip. Gently she pulled the blanket over him and stroked him gently over his hair.

Amy started making tea and while the water was boiling, she went to the bathroom where she knew she would find cold medicine. She searched the cabinet and got out a few tablets. She took a glass of water, a fever thermometer and brought the medicine to her sick boyfriend.

He lay in his bed with his eyes closed and still pale as a corpse. She put the medicine and the glass on his bedside table and drove him through his hair "Honey, you have to sit up. I have to measure your temperature”. He grumbled and sat up carefully.

Amy took the thermometer and her voice becomes childish "Okay, now open your mouth all the way!” He gave her an annoyed look but opens his mouth. "Good boy" Amy said playfully and stroked his head. She read the temperature. “39.8°C! Jake, you have to stay in bed!”. She quickly gave him the glass and he gulped down the medicine. Amy hurried to get him some pyjamas out of his wardrobe and tried to help him putting them on.

“Ames, I can dress myself!” he complained with a low and raspy voice. “You can barely keep your Eyes open!” She helped him in his pyjamas and got him his tea. He swallowed the hot drink quickly and then lay down again.

Amy stroked his cheek and gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead. Not wanting to disturb his rest, she got herself a blanket and a pillow to sleep on his sofa having changed into one of his shirts and sweatpants.

She was about to lie down when he heard a murmur from Jake. “You don’t have to sleep on the couch… or is it because of the germs that you are disgusted by my presents”. She smiled lightly and walked over to him. “I could never be disgusted by you. I just didn’t want to wake you.” Amy explained soothingly.

Jake pulled back the covers on his left side and Amy climbed in. She kissed his cheek and lay down beside him. “Have I told you how sexy your nursing is?” he asked quietly into her hair. She felt herself blushing and turned towards him. “Well, maybe you’ll get that as a reward for being good and getting well again” she whispered into his ear. He smiled “Help me to get cured, nurse Santiago!”.

She just laughed goofily at that wonderful man besides her and slowly closed her eyes.

Chapter Text

Allison Leah Peralta was born on 17.06.1978. She was a wonderful young girl with the brown eyes of her mother and wild light brown curls.

She was three years old when her mother gave birth to her brother Jake. He was a funny, cheeky and happy little boy and the outward similarities between Allison and Jake were strong. Inside, however, a little less. Allison was a free spirit. She never wanted to stay in one place and she was very gullible. She was rather dreamy.

Her brother was intelligent but a joker. He took every little move in his environment. When Allison was ten and Jake seven years old, Roger Peralta left the family. He disappeared. However, he did not know that seven months later, Karen Peralta again gave birth to a child.

Eliza Jemma Peralta looked like a mini version of her sister. The hair, however, was rather wavy and she was slightly smaller than Allison. Her personality showed very quickly. She was cheeky, confident and definitely not intimidated by her big siblings.

From the age of five, she demanded to be called Liza and her mother respected that.

At the age of eighteen, Allison left home to study photography. She had never lost her will to go out into the world.

Jake left the house and went to a police academy. A few years later he came to the 99 precinct. He loved his work as a detective.

Liza followed his example and she also went to the police academy. Over the years she had developed a great talent for gymnastics. She was fast, flexible and agile.

Jake had developed a reputation over the last three years at the 99. He and Amy Santiago regularly fought for the title of best detective. They had developed a bet. Then, in 2013, their captain joined the group saying he needs to make an announcement "99, I'm standing in front of you to tell you that I'm leaving the precinct and retiring".

Jake looked at him in horror. He always let the group do what they wanted. But Amy had to suppress a smile. She had never liked him. He was too loose, too lazy and he didn't care.
Sergeant Terry Jeffords stepped forward after the ex-captain had left the room. "We will be able to welcome our new captain at the end of this week. Until then, I'm in command here! Another thing: Tomorrow we will welcome a new detective to our ranks. Be nice! Dismissed!"

The next day Jake didn't go to work alone. He went over the plan several times. "You stay in the elevator! Hide! I'll push the button at exactly nine o'clock and then you come out!" He only got one eye roll as an answer.

He left the elevator and clapped his hands on "Dearest colleagues! I have the honor to introduce our wonderful new detective! She is 27 years old, brilliant and has the prettiest, smartest, best detective and the best brother in the world: My little sister detective Eliza Jemma Peralta" he finished his far too extravagant speech and pushed the button of the elevator. Liza resigned and was greeted by a grinning Jake and her clapping new colleagues.

"A second Peralta? We already have this idiot! Will we survive?" Amy asked mischievously, looking at Jake, "Shut up Santiago," Jake demanded.

Liza turned to Jake with an equally mischievous expression: "Oh, I agree with her, Jay! You are too much for this world". Jake looked at her in horror, "I thought you had my back! Traitor!". Everyone laughed.

Gina went to Liza and said, "Hey, squirt! People don't worry, Liza is literally the coolest person on this planet! After me, of course," Gina announced as she hugged Liza tightly.
"Do we now have two detectives Peralta? This is going to be confusing," Terry admitted, "Don't worry, Serge! Liza and I took care of it." Jake calmed down his sergeant. "You took care of something?" Amy questioned. "Seriously, Santiago?! Yes, we took care of it. I stay detective Peralta, Liza is detective LJ. Do you understand? LJ, Liza Jemma" explained Jake. Everyone in the group agreed.

After Liza got the desk next to Charles, she was officially welcomed in the 99. The following week the others also found out that Liza was very talented.

She was quicker and faster than everyone else. But she was also too confident and very impulsive. She was a talented detective but the others often had to hold her back.
then, at the end of the week, the new captain came. He asked Terry about each detective and when he came to Liza he nodded while he said "Detective Liza Peralta. Jake's sister. She is new and impulsive but incredibly fast and athletic. Don't underestimate her".

She befriended Amy very fast as both of them quite enjoyed teasing Jake. Over weeks Amy and Liza became best friends.

Liza was there and watched her big brother fall in love with Amy. She sat at her desk for six months waiting for his return from the Mafia. She hugged him tightly and watched as he tried to suppress his feelings for Amy. She helped the team with the Halloween Heist and watched her big brother embarrass himself. She sat with him and Allison, who had come from Africa, on the carpet in her childhood home unpacking gifts.

She was there when Roger Peralta came to the station. She had last seen him when she was 22 years old. She also had slight abandoning issues but she hadn't known her father for the first seven years of her life.

When Roger visited the family for the first time, Allison and Jake were already 17 and 14. Roger had noticed that Karren had given birth to another daughter, but he still hadn't visited the family. Jake saw his father as a hero who was too busy to take care of him.

The Peralta sisters, however, showed great contempt for their father. Allison was almost eleven when her father fled, so she understood what was going on and she also understood that her father was not loyal to her mother. Liza had grown up completely without him.

So when Jake made a solemn announcement to greet Roger, she stayed at her desk. Allison had stayed in Brazil. "Son, tell me, where are your sisters?" Roger asked during his greeting. "Liza is over there, Ally is in Rio." Jake explained still grinning.

Roger ran over to Liza's desk and Amy, who was sitting on the edge, quickly moved away. "Liza! Honey, why don't you greet your father," Roger asked with a false indignation.
Liza looked up at him with an icy look, "It's Eliza for you. And no idea why I'm not happy. Maybe because I have seen you 13 times in my whole life? Because you cheated on my mother? Didn't lift a finger when Mum told you she was pregnant again? I really don't know what could make me angry, Roger! She gave him one last angry look and looked back at her computer.

When she then found about him playing Jake, she was furious. As was everyone else in the precinct. She continued observing her brother and her best friend falling into a relationship. She rooted for them.

Then, one day, she got an Email from Jake.

“Allison, Liza! I need you to! I don’t care if you’re in LA taking photos, Ally! Mum invited Amy and me for dinner!” she read the Mail confused.

“What’s wrong with that?” she wrote transferring the Mail into a chat chain since that was way easier.

“Yeah, Jay…what’s the problem? You finally found someone who can stand you longer than a month…and your upset because Mum wants to meet her?” Ally had sent the text directly after Liza.

The three dots on the left side showed that Jake was typing “Very Funny, Al! Can you please come to lift the tension? Liza, Ames is your best friend you KNOW that she is freaking out!”.

Liza sighed and quickly replied defeated “FINE! But just remember: I’m doing this for Ames not you, Jay!”.

After Allison agreed too, mainly because she never met Amy before and was really curious. So when the evening came and Allison arrived at her younger sister's apartment, the two of them got ready not knowing what disaster would await them.

Allison decided to drive since Liza wasn’t the most considerate and careful driver. They reached the quarter where they’re childhood home was and exited the car. Since both of them are Peraltas, entering the Peralta household, the entrance had to be big. Allison hasn’t been in the state since last Christmas. Liza through the front door open, not looking into the room before.

That was a mistake!

She put on a dramatic voice and announced “Dear Peralta household! Long was she thought to be missing. Was thought to never return to her dearest, mourning Family. BUT NOW! Here she is! Having been in Paris, Cologne, London, Rio and LA within the last two months: The ONE, the ONLY… ALLISON LEAH PERALTA!” she made jazz hands towards the door when Ally entered.

Both sisters had yet to notice that there was someone in the room who wasn’t supposed to be there. “Ally!” Jake exclaimed forgetting the moment they’ve been in before. He hugged his older sister tight and turned to reach out to Amy.

“That’s Amy!” he introduced encouraging the woman to step forward. Allison put on a big smile “Hi! So great to finally meet you!”.

“Likewise! I’ve heard so much about you!” greeted Amy “Great entrance by the way!” she added. Both sisters chuckled. But Liza’s face froze.

“What the fuck, are YOU doing here?!” she asked her tone matching the one of a snake. Now, Ally too looked at the direction and her face too went dark.

“Eliza! Language!” scolded Karen strict, even though she was clearly uncomfortable.

After a heated argument, the three siblings found themselves in Jake's old bedroom with Amy clearly enjoying seeing his old style.

“I can't believe them!”.

At the end of the evening, Karen talked to Ally, Liza, and Jake while Amy was already in the car. After figuring out that Amy can lipread, Ally and Karen looked clearly surprised while Jake and Liza just smirked.

The following years were messy. Jake being in Witness Protection, Jake being in prison and the bomb at the wedding. Allison and Liza who were lucky enough to witness the ceremony, the latter by now with a boyfriend.

They were clearly happy for their brother.

Chapter Text

It has been three years.

Three years since he and Amy couldn’t do it anymore and they broke up.

After a week of awkwardness at the precinct Amy got a Job offer from the 79 on the other end of Brooklyn.

Her dream came true and she became the youngest Sergeant working with detectives.

The goodbye was brief. They didn’t hug. They didn’t shake hands. They didn’t even talk. She only half-heartedly waved at him and then took her box and left.

He regrets it.

Oh, how he regrets that!

They didn’t talk in three years and only see each other at big conventions.

But Amy is always surrounded by her Squad who love her.

He is too much of a coward to dare and talk to her.

Jake misses her every single day since then.

The others from the 99 tried to set him up with random people they know. Even Rosa tries her best to get her friend in a good mood.

The only one who actively hears from Amy is Captain Holt. But he only gives a short summary of how she is doing. Jake remembers the day of the argument so well.

“Jake, please understand my point! I love you but the relationship is holding me back! I haven’t developed in the last years and maybe that’s because I have to look after you all the time!” she screamed in his face.

“So what your saying is, that this is completely my fault and that I am like a dumb child you have to babysit?” He yells unbelieving.

“YES! You have so many problems! Always saying how smart you are! You are like a damn child! I wanted a boyfriend not a son! You always talk about Die Hard, Toys and your damn Dad. Just shut up we all know about your dad!” the words slip out of her mouth.

He looks like he’s been slapped.

The atmosphere is thick and when Amy opens her mouth again, he expects her to apologise. But she just closes her mouth and leaves, taking her bag with her.

He breaks down afterwards.

This argument caused him to change.

The toys disappeared from his desk. He never talked about ‘Die Hard’ and his only focus was his work.

No one was able to recognise Jake.

Till today no one knows what happened between him and Amy. Jake believed that he is never going to talk to her again.

Why would he? She obviously hates him and according to her Instagram (he may or may not stalk her and her colleagues with a fake account) her life is great.

She smiles on every picture and is surrounded by her friends.

And he? He changed completely, is moping around and more than once thought about suicide. Not only because of Amy though.

When she broke up with him, he realised how much of a screw up he was.

He was not able to catch a perp and ended up in witness protection.

He couldn’t prove his innocence and ended up in jail.

He tried to help hostages in a store, he ended up as one.

Every single time he only got out with the help of the others.

Without them he would be dead.

Without him the 99 would have less problems.

Over the last three years they took care of him.

He gave his parents a hard time because he isn’t over his stupid daddy issues.

He simply is a screw up and the only thing that kept him sane and alive were his memories.

The memories of the woman that once loved him.

Almost every night, he gets a key and unlocks a drawer in his closet. In it were multiple items Amy forgot.

Everything her wonderful hands ever touched.

Except the ring. He always has it with him. He wanted to propose the night she broke up with him.

One morning then he went to work as usual.

He went into the briefing room and sat down as usual.

Now, The captain starts his speech as usual “99. We’ve been working on a murder case the last weeks. Now we have a lead. The murders are similar to the murders of another precinct. We have strong evidence that these murders are linked so we will work together on them. We will work here since we have found more evidence as well as we had more murders. Their sergeant chose his best detectives and they will arrive within the next 30 minutes.” He finishes.

“Which other precinct?”

“Do we know the sergeant?” are questions that fly through the room.

Terry and Holt look at each other and Terry swallows thickly.

Holt clears his throat and speaks up “That is what we are worried about. The other precinct is the 79”

Jake freezes. The 79. That cant be true! Please no! Maybe she changed Precincts.

But his weak hopes are smashed by Holt “We will be working tightly with Sergeant Santiago and her detectives, so I hope you will be keeping it professional. I know it will be hard, but we have to solve this case!” he keeps his gaze towards Jake.

Everyone does. Amy is coming. She will be working with them. Jake is the leading detective in the case. He will be forced to talk to her. Will she notice his changes? Will she even care?


Amy Santiago takes a deep breath as she exits her car.

She looks up to the building in front of her.

She hasn’t been here in three years. Hasn’t talked to anyone except Holt in three years.

Hasn’t talked to him in three years. Not since she… said what she said.

She regrets every single word of it.

She beats herself up about it every night.

He looked so hurt. So broken. In the week that had followed that crucial event, he hasn’t said more than he had to.

He didn’t talk to her.

When she waved goodbye, he just looked at her with empty eyes.

She started smoking again.

Not being able to forget what she did.

She was upset that day. She didn’t get the job at major crimes neither did she solve the case.

She and her family had an argument and all of her files got destroyed by Charles presenting the voice command on Jakes new robot.

The robot walked around on the desk, pushed over Jakes old coffee which than spilled on her desk. At home then, she had wanted to talk to him, but he was watching Die Hard and talking about how he wished someone like Bruce Willis was his father.

She snapped and out of an argument came a breakup.

She had broken down crying the second she left the room.

She wanted to talk to him but couldn’t bring herself to do so.

He definitely hated her, she had hurt him so bad.

Then she was offered the job at the 79 and she just took it.

She ran away instead of facing the problem.

And now? Now she was supposed to solve a case with him.

She can’t lie, she looked forward to hearing his jokes and seeing his goofiness again ever since she was told that she would be working with him.

The arrival of her Detectives pulled her out of her thoughts

. She took Kingston, Walters and Morris. Kingston and Walters were two guys who’ve been working at the 79 for ten years. They were smart and really nice.

Amber Morris was a rather young, and new detective. But she was smart she saw connections where no one else saw them. And she was incredible undercover.

Even though she was 28, she looked like a 17-year-old. She was small and slim with wild red curls and freckles.

Everyone underestimated her.

Amy takes in one last breath and then leads her squad towards the elevator.

She presses the familiar button and the doors close.

The moment she leaves she immediately glances over to Jakes desk, expecting the usual mess and toys.

But there is no mess.

There are no toys.

The desk is clean!

Not Amy-clean but definitely not Jake-Messy!

For a moment she thinks that he changed desks but no, that is his bag, his handwriting.

She has a bad thought in the back of her head. She clears her throat and slowly walks towards the briefing room.

“Ah, they arrived!” she hears Holts familiar voice.

She enters with her squad behind her.

The room is silent.

She looks over the crowd.

Everyone looks the same. Everyone except Jake.

He sits on the left side in the first row and easy to say, everything His hair is not in his messy curls nor does he sit slumped.

He isn’t wearing some old pair of sneakers, he wears a clean white pair.

He isn’t wearing his hoodie, with a shirt underneath a tie and his badge around his neck.

He is wearing a clean blue dress shirt and a blue tie, his badge on his hip.

He isn’t smiling goofy with shining eyes.

His eyes are empty, and his lips shut tight.

The bad thought turns into a horrible feeling in her gut. Please, don’t let her be the cause of this. Please, please, please!

“Welcome Sargent Santiago and welcome to you detectives. We are happy to have you. Please, sit!” announced the captain and Amy sat down in the first row on the right side with Morris taking the place next to her.

“So, Santiago, I would recommend you informing the others in the murder cases from your precinct. Peralta will give you the files to ours.” He said.

Both, Amy and Jake, nod and Amy takes the stand. She explains all about the murder cases and watches as Jake just writes down everything she says.

Jake Peralta never writes down anything!

After she finishes, Holt takes over again. “Now, thank you Santiago! I know you all haven’t seen each other in a long time, so I give you 45 minutes to catch up. Not one second more! Dismissed!”

Everyone stands up and everyone from the 99 comes over to hug Amy.

Well, not everyone.

Jake left the room the second he was dismissed and sat down at his desk to work.

The Jake Peralta she knows- well, knew- would never miss an opportunity to miss work.

“You’re wondering what happened to him, don’t you?” says Charles voice behind her.

She quickly turns “Yes! I mean…what happened?”.

Charles clearly is uncomfortable “You know…I will let Rosa tell you!”.

Amy is confused “Why her?”

“Because Rosa simply has no emotions…well she has no problem with telling the truth! ROSA! Come here for a second!” he calls her.

“What’s up, Boyle?” Rosa asks with her usual tone.

“Tell Amy what happened to Jake please! Bye!” he runs off.

“Well, after you left, he became like this. One day we came to work, and his desk was clean. No toys, no food. Since then no jokes, no roleplay, no games, no mess, no die hard and no Dad talk. In conclusion: we lost Jake three years ago and no one knows why.”

She summarises. ‘So, it is my fault. Him being that way is because of what I said! I destroyed him!’ her breathing becomes shallow and flat.

“Santiago? You okay?” Rosa asks her.

“This is my fault. This is all my fault!” she whispers.

“Why?” Charles asks from behind.

“I said terrible things to him. Because of my bad mood I was horrible to him…” Amy explains, still in shock.

“Have you tried…talking to him?” Terry asks from her right side.

She just slowly shakes her head.

But in that moment, she decides, that now is the time for doing exactly that.

She pushes her way through the detectives and slowly makes her way over to Jake.

Her heart beats to her throat.

One step.

Two steps.

Three steps.

Six steps

. Nine steps.

She reaches his desk. “Hey” she says hesitantly.

Jake doesn’t look up. But his lips form a greeting “Hello, sergeant.”.

Amy’s heart clenches in her chest. Not even her name. But the worst part? She deserves it.

“Can…can we talk?” she asks him very quietly.

“What about?” he asks still having wall of defence up.

“In private?” she adds.

He sighs and stands up, still not looking at her, and walks into the evidence lockup.

She quickly follows him watching him from behind.

Somewhere in this empty shell, must be the Jake she loved…the Jake she still loves.

He doesn’t look at her. “What is it you want to talk about? The case or-“

she interrupts him rather quick “Jake, you know that that’s not what I want to talk about!”.

“If not the case, what do we have to talk about?!” he asks her with his back towards her.


“Tell me then, what is it?” he asks again.

“Jake please! Please look at me!”.

It is the quivering and the desperate tone in her voice that made him turn towards her.

He froze when he saw that she was crying. Tears rolled over her cheeks.

He hates that he still cares for her.

He hates that his heart clenches by the sight of her crying. “Please stop crying! Please!” he begs and walks towards her with a concerned look in his eyes.

Amy can’t hold herself and throws her arms around his neck.

For a moment, the old Jake had returned.

She holds herself close to him. He is startled and doesn’t know what to do.

When she feels him freeze underneath her, she quickly let’s go of him. Amy begins to blush and steps back. “Sorry about that…” she says quietly.

He clears his throat and looks to the floor.

“So…what did you want to talk about?” he asks.

Amy straightens “Yes…. Jake, what happened to you?”.

Jake clearly turns uncomfortable.

“What to you mean?” he clears his throat.

“Jake stop pretending! You completely changed! You’re not anything like the Jake I know!”.

“The Jake you knew! The Jake you knew changed when you broke up with him!” he almost yells.

Even though she already knew that, Amy flinches and looks to the floor.

“He changed when you told him too!”.

He is on top of his voice.

Amy backs away from him “I didn’t mean it…I I was-“

“I don’t care! Three years ago, you broke my heart and me!”

“I didn’t mean too! I was angry and emotional!” Amy now yells too.

“If you didn’t mean too, then why didn’t you say something?” he yelled, a desperate tone in his voice.

“I didn’t know how! I was scared! Scared of rejection, scared of you hating me, scared of you telling me it was a good idea!” tears stream out of her eyes. She feels weak.

“As if I would have done any of that! That evening I wanted to fucking propose!” he screams. His face red because of anger.

Amy looks like she was just slapped.

Her face pale, her eyes wide. “What?” she asks, her voice quiet and calm.

Jakes anger is still high, so he pulls out the box with the ring and throws it at her. He stomps out of the room leaving a stunned Amy behind.

She picks up the box and slowly opens it.

The ring in it takes her breath away. It was a silver band with three different sized diamonds in it.

It was beautiful and unique without being big and impractical.

A tear escapes her eye.

She could’ve been married by now.

Married to the man she loves maybe having a family.

She slides down the wall clutching the ring in her palm.

This future won’t be hers and its her fault.


Jake walks to the roof collecting his thoughts.

Did he really just do that?

Did he really just throw the engagement ring at her?

He feels bad. Her expression was so full of hurt. But he was the first one to be hurt.

He glances at his watch.

Still 20 minutes of catching up time.

He renters the bullpen just to see that Amy was not back yet.

Jake quickly takes his place at his desk.

Every now and then someone would ask in the room where Amy was.

2 minutes left for catching up.

Amy still isn’t there.

He worries and slowly makes his way to the evidence lockup.

He slowly opens the door and the sight breaks heart.

He comes to the realisation that he is not the only broken person in this precinct.

There on the floor sits Amy, crying, sobbing, clutching the ring.

Under her sobs pieces of phrases like “my fault” “I screwed up” and “he hates me” come to his ears.

Seeing the strongest woman, he knows in broken pieces like that, stole his breath.

He makes his way over to her and kneels beside her.

He awkwardly soothes her hair but after a few seconds he becomes more confident and pulls her into a hug.

Amy restrains herself though and shakes her head.

Jakes heart clenches at the thought believing his yelling was the cause of it.

“I don’t deserve this” she murmurs “I don’t deserve you. I screwed up. I made you change yourself.” She murmurs into her hands.

“Amy…that is not-“

“Yes, it is true Jake. I’m a coward. I don’t deserve you…and” she pulls out the ring “I don’t deserve this.”

Jakes eyes go wide as she takes his hand and places the ring in it.

She intends to stand up but Jake snaps out of his trance and pulls her back.

“Ames, not one thing you said was true! You Amy Santiago, deserve the world!” she gives up the fighting and leans into his side. “You were right about the ring, though.”

Her head snaps up in fear. “You don’t deserve me throwing it at you, you deserve a proper proposal. „He says softly into her ear.

“So…what now?” she asks hesitantly.

“Ames, I love you and I never stopped. But I think we should take it slow. We both need to find ourselves again. But I Definitely never want to lose you again.” He says clutching her to his side.

“Neither do I. You’re right. Let’s do it slow.” She agrees.

“Let’s do it slow, title of your sextape.” Comes sheepishly from him.

Amy beams relieved “Never been so glad to hear that before. I love you!"

She giggles running through his combed hair, messing it up to its usual curls.

“Come on we have a murderer to catch!” she smiles into his hair.

He captures her lips in a soft kiss and it feels like coming home.

They are healing.

They will be okay.