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Let it Out

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Dean is thrown up against the wall. The fang is holding him, he’s big and strong and ugly. Hair wild. Eyes crazed. He’s bit Dean, weakened him. And now he’s shoving his own torn wrist into Dean’s mouth. Pressing the evil blood into Dean’s face, forcing it between Dean’s lips, down his throat. Changing his brother into a monster. A thing. Killing him.
 
And Sam is standing there. Still. Watching like a voyeur at a depraved sex act. Frozen and mute. And smiling.
 
Jared curves his lips up. Inside he is screaming. Because this isn’t right. That’s Dean. That’s his brother. And Sam’s soul is screaming somewhere at how evil this is. How depraved. It hurts. And Jensen is screaming, shaking, vibrating against the vamp. And Jared knows it’s not real. Knows how good Jensen is that he can make Jared feel every second of this. Every tremor reverberates in Jared’s body. He wants to run and pull the thing off Dean … off Jensen. Make him stop. But he can’t. He has to enjoy it. And part of him feels like he’s dying inside.
 
“Cut. And print. Looking good. Outstanding, Jared.” The director looks back at Jensen and their guest star. “Jensen, Joe. Great work.”
 
Jared doesn’t react to the praise. He’s breathing hard as if he’d been running. His heart can’t stop racing and even though he sees Jensen pat their guest star on the shoulder before the other man shuffles away it still fucking hurts.
 
“Jay?”
 
He shakes the hand away. He’s too wound up. Too wired. He can’t …
 
“Jared. Talk to me.”
 
Head down, he sucks in air. Tries to slow the flow into his lungs. Breathes in and then out. Deep and steady. Usually that’s all it takes. Usually, that’s enough. Not this time. He’s so tense he thinks if he says a single word, he’ll start shouting and never stop.
 
Jensen very carefully touches his arm. It almost burns upon contact. His skin is sensitized. Like he’s made of exposed wires.
 
“Let’s go to your trailer.”
 
Still not looking at Jensen he makes his feet move. He knows Jensen is walking with him. Knows he’s beside him but he can’t shake it yet. The anger. The self-loathing. The absolute betrayal.
 
They make it inside and Jensen disappears into the bathroom where he washes off most of the mess. He comes out and waits a moment. Jared allows himself a glance and sees the tiny remnants of the fake blood on Jensen’s mouth, trailing down his neck. That stuff is a bitch to wash off. Jared must make a sound, or grimace or something because Jensen reacts immediately.
 
Hands reach around him, drawing him down. “Jared. Let it go, don’t hold it in.”
 
Jared wants to say no. Wants to tell Jensen they can’t … not here. It’s too public … to close to things … usually this waits until they get home.
 
“You’re a mess and you’re not done. You have another call. Jay, you gotta get these feelings out or you won’t be able to work. Sam is not reacting right now. He’s like a fucking robot. Look at you … this won’t work. Gotta let it out, man.”
 
“I … can’t. I’m too … I’ll … “ He can’t even say the words.
 
“No. You won’t. I can take it. C’mere … “ And Jensen pulls Jared down to him. At first taste of the fake, sweet blood Jared feels ravenous. Feels the need to claim and take and make it clear what’s his. He pushes his tongue inside Jensen’s mouth and twists it around before sucking down hard on Jensen’s. His teeth latch on to that plump lower lip and this time the taste isn’t sweet but sharp and metallic.
 
Jensen gives a sexy groan and bites back at Jared’s mouth. Giving as good as he’s getting, teeth grazing along Jared’s neck, licking and nipping and sucking the skin hotly into his mouth. It’s slippery and wet and Jared knows the taste of Jensen is his forever addiction. Better than candy. Better than breathing. Lips grating against each other’s and tongues dueling for possession, they work their way staggeringly toward the bed.
 
“Fuck,” Jared groans as he feels Jensen’s hard cock press against his own.
 
“That’s the idea,” Jensen teases back before pushing away to strip quickly.
 
Jared leans back and watches Dean’s jeans slip down Jensen’s slim hips. Watches his lover kick them off. Jared’s eyes grow huge.
 
“You did not just film that scene commando!” The shock of this almost overwhelms the sheer hotness of Jensen standing still and naked in front of him.
 
Jensen smirks. “Any other time I’d keep you going.” He approaches Jared and palms his cheeks. “No. I stripped off my boxers in the bathroom before. I had a feeling I wouldn’t be needing them.” He puts his forehead against Jared’s. “You’re still fucking vibrating.”
 
“That guy … took you. An’ I hadda … hadda just watch.”
 
Jensen pulls away and meets his eyes. “Take me back.”
 
Jared swallows and fights the heat in his veins. No. Not here. “I can’t. Not here. Later. At home, maybe.”
 
“You need it now.” Jensen’s normally warm eyes harden. “What’s the matter? You don’t care that he had his hands all over me. Forced me against that wall? Bit my neck. You know, he really put his teeth on me, Jay.”
 
Jared feels his blood tremor under his skin. What? No. That can’t be …
 
“Yeah. Guy’s a bit of a creep. Super method. Said he needed it real. Was like that on the other scenes we filmed together, too. Didn’t want to say anything be—“
 
And that’s fucking it. Nobody touches Jensen except Jared. He pulls Jensen onto the bed and flips them over until he’s straddling Jensen before the other man can even blink. One-handed he works his pants and briefs off and practically rips his shirt from his body. His hands are roving faster than his head can even wrap around. He wants to feel every part of Jensen. Wants to bite his nipples, squeeze his pecs, run his hands over those bow legged thighs. Wants to taste his cock, eat out his ass. Wants …
 
Jensen is writhing beneath him. Mouth moving over any area of Jared that he can reach. “Yeah,” he utters. “Need you. Now.”
 
Jared wants to fuck Jensen. Wants it more than he remembers wanting anything. But the anger is still pulsing and the thought of hurting Jensen overrides even his blood lust. “Stop … “ Jared pulls back. “Too much. Too rough. Will hurt you.”

“You won’t. You can’t. That was Sam. It’s not you.” Jared stares down. “Fuck me.”
 
Jared bends down and runs his lips over Jensen’s chest. Licks his way down until he reaches Jen’s leaking cock and runs his tongue up its length. He laves over the thick vein running underneath and sucks just the crown into his mouth. Jensen shudders at this, murmuring obscenities. Jared keeps working his lips up and down Jensen’s shaft, letting it touch the back of his throat before moving up and slowly letting it slide back down. Jensen’s hand is in his hair now, pushing and tugging and trying to control it, but Jared pushes his hands off. “Over your head.”
 
Jensen whimpers but obeys. And that gets Jared hotter than he thought possible. Jared reaches for the duffel on the floor and rummages inside frantically. They hardly ever do this on set but it has come up before and Jared’s Boy Scout ways are clearly paying off.
 
Jensen returns Jared’s triumphant grin when he waves the small bottle in the air. He slicks his fingers quick and brings them down. Jensen’s body drinks him in hungrily. He wastes little time before inserting another finger, working them sideways because he needs to get inside Jensen like now.
 
Jensen is pushing back against his fingers, fucking himself on them. Jared’s cock is rubbing against Jen’s thigh and really this is about to end before it starts unless something happens right the fuck now. “Jen … gonna fuck you now.”
 
Jared waits long enough to see Jensen nod and then he’s pushing his cock inside. He knows it’s too soon and hears Jensen’s breath catch but he needs this so much. How dare that guy touch what’s his? The scene explodes in his mind. Dean fighting. Desperate. Scared. Every hard stroke brings an image of curly hair and cruel eyes. Dirty fingers holding Dean’s … Jensen’s face. Forcing himself into his mouth. Against his lips.
 
“He fucking made you … “ Jared is fucking into Jensen so hard that the bed is shaking. Every pounding stroke vibrates through his hips, through his back, he feels it … feels Jensen’s ass clench around his dick, tight and hot. Beneath him he hears a moan and Jared trembles, stares. Jensen’s eyes shut and he can see his face shadow in what looks like …
 
“Oh god. Oh god … I hurt you.”
 
Hands grip his shoulder. “No. It was just … I’m good … need this … need you to let it out. That wasn’t you. Sam let his brother get hurt. You wouldn’t do that. You didn’t do that … “ Jensen’s voice fades as Jared grips his cock, coaxing it back to full hardness.
 
“Never … “ Jared whispers, hips slowing into a slower roll. He hits Jensen’s sweet spot and grinds against it, watching Jensen’s eyes roll backward and his breath hitch. His cock is granite hard against Jared’s palm, thrusting upward to meet Jared’s grip. “Would never hurt you. Never let anyone hurt you. Rather die.”
 
Jensen tenses, a shuddering tremble running up his spine before he spills into Jared’s hand, in hot pulses. Jared leans in and captures his lips and murmurs, “I love you.” He feels the release flush through him, from his toes to the top of his head. He comes for what feels like ages, filling Jensen’s ass until it spills out around his softening cock. He doesn’t know how long he stays there, connected. Despite how heavy he knows he is, Jensen doesn’t complain. Just holds on.
 
Eventually, Jared does pull up and roll over. This is more than has ever happened between them before. Not the fucking. They’ve done that plenty. But Jared’s never felt like this before. Has never said the words before. And now the cool air is chilling his body. He feels odd.
 
Jensen gets up. “Imma going to clean up. Just. Wait. Okay?”
 
The water sounds and less than five minutes later Jensen emerges from the small washroom. He’s clean and naked. Jared takes in the pale skin and the smattering of golden freckles. He doesn’t see Dean. This. Is all Jensen.
 
“Jen.”
 
“Right here.”
 
Jared scoots up and they are sitting, naked, just looking at each other. Jared runs a hand through his hair. His breath feels choppy. “I … I didn’t mean … “
 
Jensen smiles. The kind that crinkles his eyes. The kind that lights up Jared’s world. “Yeah. Well, too bad … ‘cause I did.”
 
Jared reaches forward and cups Jensen’s cheek, letting Jensen lean into it before he pulls back. He’s overly aware of where they are and how little time they have and how he has to wash up and dress and be that Sam again. He smiles and says softly, “So, we’re on the same page?”
 
“Absolutely.”
 
Jensen is staring at him now, green eyes twinkling in a way that make Jared see everything. “Joe never really got pushy with you, did he?”
 
Jared had spent some time with their guest star, Joseph (call me Joe). Now that he can think straight again … he realizes the guy was soft spoken and kinda shy and there is no way what Jensen said is true. Jensen moves closer, takes Jared’s hand in his. “No. He’s a cool guy. You were so wound up … I just wanted to find a way to help you let it out.” 

Jared frowns. “By fucking it out of me?” Jared is not amused by Jensen’s sly grin. “I could have hurt you!”
 
Jensen grows serious. He squeezes Jared’s hand tighter. “No. You couldn’t have.”
 
Jared lets that sink inside, fill him. He thinks it’s what he needs to finish this stretch of storyline with soulless Sam. Needs his own wall separating him from Sam, because Jared can’t fathom hurting Jensen any more than Sam could handle hurting Dean.
 
Finally, Jensen rises to dress. He flinches as he pulls his boxers on. Jared can’t help but smirk. “Good thing you’re done for the day, cowboy.”
 
Jensen throws him a wry look. “Just wait till later, Padalecki. Your ass is mine.”
 
Jared laughs. He’s already looking forward to it. Everything he does with Jensen feels amazing. All of me is yours, he thinks but doesn’t say. Too girly.
 
A short time later they are both dressed and ready to head back out. Jared has to get back to the alley set and Jensen’s ready to head home. At the door Jensen turns and asks, “You gonna be okay?”
 
Jared takes a deep breath and hopes for the best. “Yeah. I think so.”
 
He has his hand on the door handle when Jensen reaches out and touches his shoulder. He feels a hot puff against his ear. “I love you, too.”
 
Jared looks down surprised, but Jensen has already opened the door and is walking down the steps without looking back. Smiling, Jared tells himself that perhaps that’s exactly what Dean would say, too. In his own way. And, yeah, Jared’s gonna be okay. 
 
fin