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It Started With a Whisper

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Tasha: ALLIE. ALLIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALLLLLLLIEEEEEEEEE!1!1111!!!11!1!111!!!!!

 

Allie: WTF, Tash, capslock broke much?

 

Allie: Wait

 

Allie: Oh fuck me, Tash, you didn't get into Reade's drugs did you?

 

Allie: FUCK. FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK

 

Allie: STOP SNORTING THAT SHIT RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND

 

Allie: And drink lots of water? I don't know what to tell you here, this isn't exactly where my expertise lies

 

Tasha: BETTER THAN THAT. HE SAID IT, ALS!!!!

 

Tasha: And we're not all going to die a horrible, radioactive death.

 

Tasha: BUT HE SAID IT, ALLIE! HE FINALLY SAID "I LOVE YOU"!!!!

 

Allie: ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

 

Allie: That's great and all, but let's go back to "die a horrible, radioactive death"  ??????

 

Allie: I'mma gonna need some details there, namely – WTF?!?!?!?!?!?

 

Tasha: Don't have time, watch the news tonight.

 

Tasha:  I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF THIS ALS!!!!!!!!!!

 

Allie: Who said ILU to whom? Did Reade tell you that he's in love with you?

 

Allie: If so, DUH

 

Tasha: NO, WELLER!!!!!!!!

 

Allie: WTF HAS KURT BEEN SNORTING READE'S COCK

 

Allie: ROTFLMAO  Autocorrect strikes again! *coke*

 

Allie: What the hell is that ignorant slut doing telling you that he loves you?!?!?!?!?!

 

Allie: WTF DID YOU SAY TASH?

 

Tash: NO. NOT ME. JANE. HE FINALLY TOLD JANE "I LOVE YOU".

 

Allie: Well, that's the DUH of the century, even more so than Reade

 

Allie: WAIT what do you mean "finally"?

 

Allie: OMG THAT IGNORANT SLUT'S NOT SAID IT BEFORE NOW!?!?!?!?

 

Allie: So fucking USELESS

 

Tasha: ASKDLJFALKSDFKJASLJDF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Tasha: OVER OPEN COMMS!!!!!!!

 

Tasha: WE ALL HEARD IT!

 

Tasha: THERE'S MUCHO CELEBRATION GOING ON

 

Tasha: Well, most of 'em are celebrating that whole not dying a horrible death thing and the White House, DC, and East Coast not being obliterated.

 

Tasha: BUT READE, PATTY, AND I KNOW BETTER. HE SAID ILU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Allie: WHAT DID SHE SAY???!?!?!?!? Also – East Coast whut????

 

Allie: I mean, obviously she said "Love you too, boo", but WHAT DID SHE SAY?!?!?!?!

 

Tasha: She didn't. It was more of this frustrated growl followed by a lot of screaming.

 

Tasha: Mostly "WHAT THE HELL, KURT, YOU CAN'T SAY THAT AND PASS OUT ON ME!"

 

Tasha: "Oh my God, don't die! I NEED AN AMBULANCE!"

 

Tasha: "DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE BLEED OUT ON ME!"

 

Tasha: "I'M GOING TO RESURRECT YOU AND THEN KILL YOU AGAIN IF YOU DIE ON ME!"

 

Tasha: Things of that nature.

 

Allie: Jesus. That man – say it with me now – SO FUCKING USELESS

 

Allie: He has a horrible track record of falling asleep at the exact wrong time  

 

Allie: If you know what I mean  

 

Allie: And I think you do  

 

Allie: ( During sex  I always mean sex )

 

Tasha: Ewwww.

 

Tasha: Didn't need to know that. Thanks. Appreciate it.

 

Tasha: In case you missed it, that was massive sarcasm.

 

Tasha: Don't tell me shit like that about my boss! What is wrong with you?!!?!?!?

 

Tasha: Btw, he'll be fine, just some traumatic injury/blood loss.

 

Tasha: The usual sort of Weller nonsense.

 

Tasha:   BUT HE SAID IT!!!!!!!

 

Tasha: JOIN ME IN DOING THE HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY DANCE OF HAPPINESS!!!!!!!!!

 

Allie: You desperately need to get laid. DESPERATELY, do you understand me?

 

Allie: And it looks like we can take Kurt off the list of potential candidates

 

Allie: How's Jane's brother doing?  

 

Tash: Eh, escaped from custody, wanted terrorist.

 

Allie: Exactly the type of man you go for! Do it, Tash!  

 

Tasha: …

 

Tasha: …

 

Tasha: …

 

Tasha: What part of "escaped from custody" as in "not here anymore" did you NOT understand?

 

Tasha: Also NO. Nopity nope nope nope.

 

Tasha: Long story, but I have reason to believe Patty wouldn't appreciate that.

 

Tasha: Sorry, can't talk right now, clean-up efforts, got to go deal with that CIA prick and Weitzhole, but OMG ALLIE HE SAID IT, HE FINALLY SAID IT!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Allie: Either of them single?

 

Allie: Oh, fuck it. I don't care if they're single, you shouldn't care either

 

Allie: Make bad decisions, Tash!

 

Allie: Thanks for saving the East Coast ????

 

Allie: Seriously, call me when you get a chance, I feel like there's a story there I need to hear