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Inspire Me Again

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Rey blinks at the sunrise.

It is so pretty to her... wouldn’t it be nice to watch it crawl from behind vast  mountain ranges or sparkling across massive oceans?

She thinks so.

Maybe it would be if she wasn’t so afraid to leave her room... her house. Talk to real people beyond a computer screen or her cell phone. See living people.

But even that thought makes her chest tighten. 

She takes a mild shower. It can’t be too hot or too cold.

She eats what her caregiver left on her nightstand.

It smells so good. She drips sticky honey across her toast to dip in her strawberry decorated oatmeal. Sips her pulpy orange juice.

She finishes and grabs her laptop, laying across her bed. She signs in and delves.

So much braver here... among these creators and wordsmiths.

She reads the latest chapter added by her favorite writer. She knows he lives in the United States too, and that it’s a guy... but nothing else. 

But he makes her want to.

His latest story is a vampire fic mixed in medieval times. Action packed and full of sexual depravity.

His female characters are so strong and dominant. The main guy described in a way that makes her quiver and mouth water. Though, if faced by such a specimen she would likely freeze... faint.

She loved his version of how Alec Star responded to Lira Conley in his space story last month. He uses their likeness like so many do, devoted fans of the movie series... or the actors themselves... but his words always hit her just right. With the new movie being released soon, fanfiction about them or using their names has gone crazy. 

Rey sees all of it online. 

Has read every book... article...

She’s obsessed with how broken and raw the two main leads come across... despite her innocence... despite his flaws...

Darkness meets light in a battle to control the universe... to rule. But Alec is so drawn to Lira. Weak to her hope. Rey feels connected to that hope Lira shows... her emotion. 

It makes her heart break.

This KyloRenRulz always rips her heart out with his depictions...

She likes his newest story, giving it a kind kudo and a comment of ‘how sad Alec is in these first chapters, so hopeless without Lira’.

He doesn’t get tons of hits, but she is devoted to following him.

She subscribed dutifully after stumbling on his 4th story years ago. Had gone back and bookmarked the first 3... read them quickly. Thriving on each unique journey.

She feels sad when he goes weeks or months not adding anything. Hurts for him when he has writer’s block.

She reads many others too... all loyal fans of the ship, but they are out, living outside too... not just reading about living.

At 18 she should be out there... 

Rey did all her schooling online, testing above and beyond. Labeled genius level smart, but she would be doing college online as well... she had her doctors... her caregiver... 

They gave her a wide berth. Money will do that. 

Rey clicked to skim her tumblr before exercising. Yoga was her newest delight.

She wondered how old he was. 

Rey smiles imagining how he might be. Halloween was over... Thanksgiving and Christmas coming. She hoped he found inspiration.

 

Chapter Text

He hates it.

Late at night after food, shower, and a cold beer he should be fucking primed and ready to outline and flesh out this idea that craves to be realized. 

But...

He is also tired.

Alderaan has the kind of wierd weather that allows him to work construction gigs all year... mostly. It is very physical. Has made his body a temple, but still sore nightly. He likes being able to see the ocean when he wants and still avoid the influxes of tourists. He can retreat to the woods hours away anytime he wants. 

His mother rags him for not putting a ring on Evelyn’s hand yet, but... she isn’t forever he thinks. Evelyn isn’t overly materialistic, but needy she is. Her receptionist job is so easy and low impact. She bitches at how worn out he gets. She especially bitches about him writing... ever. Anything that takes his attention away is the enemy.

He glances through his notifications.

He sees some new kudos and comments.

It warms his heart to see older stories get hits, comments. The early ones were so open and an exploration of himself. He doesn’t like seeing himself as vulnerable, but under your pseudo name you’re safe, hidden. 

Sometimes you need thick skin though.

But, then there’s the sweet ones. Who always encourage him, criticizing constructively, and inspire him.

He loves that. 

It feeds his fragile ego.

He’s tall,  broad, and muscular... but inside he’s a scared little boy with mommy issues and insecurities a mile long. He questions any female attention he gets, confidence issues are a bitch.

He sees one of his favorite followers... she always comments, always brightens his day. 

ReyofLight

She’s nice.

He wonders sometimes who she is, like a lot of the chatters who comment a lot.

He has a close circle of friends in his writing den, but he is selective on who he trusts. They all have different styles and feed off each other’s creativity. They’ve all experienced harassment or verbal abuse online, or the positive side encouraging and gifting to show thanks.

He doesn’t get invited to a lot of the exchanges, but he writes because he loves it.

Needs the outlet. 

It helps disperse his aggression... fight off his depressive tendencies.

Alec is so broken, but finds such strength in Lira’s softness... her patience to see the last flickers of light in him.

His phone buzzes.

 

-hey, you’re late. I thought you were coming over. -E😩

 

-oh, fuck! Sorry... got distracted. Let me throw on some clothes...-Ben

-be over in 30.-Ben

 

 

Ben responds to a few comments before he heads out. Smiling at her last message. He thinks ReyofLight will like his newest chapter, she gave him a great idea.

 

Chapter Text

Lira saw in him the last shred...

The final piece before his soul would be lost...

Immortality couldn’t compare to her touch... her warmth... the feeling of her in his arms... at his mercy...

But...

Could he take this precious life?

Drink her down like any other?

Alec felt the ache before he registered his deed, sinking his fangs into her neck. Covered in so much blood already ...His own damned soul burned now as her blood entered his veins. 

No...

She can’t...

Lira screamed in agony... in pleasure... as she pierced his spine with her noble blade.

Alec released her. Staggering.

”You...” he mouthed out disbelief caressing his features.

She gathered herself, as crimson trickled down from her wound to her heaving breast. “I... Alec don’t fight it...”

She gently touched his face as his own contorted.

They were surrounded by the corpses of his enemies, yet she stayed still so close... even after his sin!

Alec gazed into her eyes. Begging.

 

 

Rey squealed with delight. 

Alec was being reformed by her love! After all the battles and hunting for her... thinking himself a slave to his vampiric hunger!

Rey was tickled. 

KyloRenRulz had listened to her suggestions. As she continued reading the rest of his newest chapter, she felt honored. This one might get that HEA she prayed for. His didn’t always...

Not that she knew diddly squat about romance and sexual aches... but craving human contact... to feel some connection deeper within to another being?

...that she understood. And it terrified her.

Alec was a ruthless vampire yes, but also just a guy wanting a girl. Wanting love?

She quickly added a 🥰 and kudos to the end. Telling him how delighted she was to see how he’d interwoven her suggestions. 

She trotted off to her kitchen. She dug out Oreos and peanut butter. Plopped up to sit on the wide counter. A kitchen who 10 could easily cook in. Dipping a spoon in and slathering one cookie at a time to devour. She added a huge glass of milk, sipping between bites.

What does he munch?

How old is he?

What is his job?

Is he young or old?

Married?

Gay?

He seems so angry within his stories sometimes, always destroying some overbearing male character or a parental one... the love aspects vary from blushingly detailed sexual endeavors to seeking...but never winning Lira’s heart.

Desperate longing...

Misunderstood and loneliness...

But Lira understands Alec... they complete each other. Dark and light.

Rey glanced around. The house is always too stoic and still. So clean like it isn’t really lived in. Her messes take care of themselves...

She wonders if her doctors and caregiver worry a lot. 

She’s lucky she supposes, her mother left her so well taken care of. Well, who she called mother. There are photographs on the walls of her holding Rey as a baby. She had found her abandoned somewhere... Rey shook the thought away...

There was a trust that paid off this house, for her education, for her care... 

The doctors and caregiver followed her rules to keep her from panic attacks. 

They never spoke directly to her. She wore a blindfold when her doctors came. If she couldn’t see them she could pretend. She’d take her medication and it was usually over quickly. They seemed satisfied she was healthyish and went about their routines outside of her home.

Her educators had always done the same. Through her computer they taught her, tested her. Her degree hung on the wall by her bed. Her college classes were no different. Money always aided in smoothness.

She checked the front door mail crate slot. 

Instead of a small slit there was a low door the delivery person would set her mail and packages. No need to venture out to seek her items.

Amazon was her favored searching ground, and her food had always been delivered... even before grocery pickup became a big thing. The closest Walmart and Kroger knew of her from long before, and took extra good care. Her mother paid them well as far back as she could remember. The financial books in the office showed where every cent went. 

Rey missed her a little.

Her mother understood her fears and catered her life around those needs. Kept her safe.

When she died, everyone just kept the routine. If anyone new took part, someone must explain because nothing ever changed.

Rey opened her new parcel. 

The new art book from the current film sat in her lap all shiny. She happily flipped through the pages. 

A lot of the fanart she’s seen mimicked these pictures. Capturing the raw chemistry and emotional links obvious to any fan between Alec and Lira. Such beautiful devastating detail to the eyes. Pain and hope... haunting.

Rey hugged the new addition to her chest. 

She needed to get to work. Her French homework wouldn’t do itself.

She found it so pretty.

But, she already mastered Italian, German, Chinese, Japanese, Spanish, and binary. A scattering of many other old languages just for fun. Learning a new one never took long. 

Rey skipped to her room to add her new treasure to the overfilled shelves, then sat back at her computer to start her lesson. 

 

Chapter Text

They were horribly behind schedule. The bad weather two days straight had royally fucked  them and now Mr. Stick Up His Ass was pissy... never fun for them.

Ben did not want to exit the truck.

”Solo! Come here now!” Mr. Chandler was ready to reemphasize how important time usage was ...again. But usually that involved insults and spittling out as he screamed at them.

Ben joined his buddies and others for this lovely experience.

Eric droned on and on for what felt like ever. His volume going up and down. The little vein popped out in his forehead was a particularly entertaining treat.

Ben tuned him out.

A lifetime of his mother and father taught him well...

Overtime was Eric’s answer, working through the weekend. Ben knew it was for the bonus he got if they met the deadline more than anything else. But, at least he was willing to pay the overtime.

 

 

Ben drank his third beer, he could hear Jessie flirting up the waitress. Leroy and Chuck laughing about it beside him.

Jessie had no game, but he made up for it with pure stubbornness. The boy never gave up.

When he finally came back to join Ben and the others, he held a slip of paper proudly. Stating that he was leaving with her when her shift ended.

Ben wondered why the little shit always got his way.

He never left alone. 

Ben felt like his past 22 year old self would want  to punch Jessie’s now 22 year old self for his successes. At 30, he could vividly remember how awkward he’d been as a teenager and half his 20’s. 

Evelyn texted him at least 7 times and called twice while he sat there nursing his beer.

Fucking persistent. 

He motioned at Leroy, “hey... man I got to jet, Evelyn has been blowing up my phone...”

”Ug, she’s always wound so tight man, hope she’s nicer in other ways.” Leroy teased.

Ben told them all bye and thought to himself how nice that would be if she was kind at all. She’d been a one stand stand that grew on him, but morphed into a bitchy harpy. She was gorgeous... he was horny and lonely... he kept seeing her. Despite red flags galore that she was kinda nuts. Now, his mom liked her... he hadn’t really looked for anyone new... so they kept dating. The sex was not too bad anyway.

Getting laid on the regular was a good initiative. Plus, he tuned her out when she really got going... or went down on her... it always shut her up.

He didn’t have it in him tonight though.

Not one cell.

He rubbed his hand over his face.

Glared at her latest messege.

”no... definitely not...” he turned his phone completely off and shoved it in his pocket.

He sang along to the radio on the way home.

He was pretty drained, but he could at least check his emails before he passed out. 

He grinned.

He had new kudos and comments for his latest chapter for his vampire story. People liked Alec’s fall into Lira’s arms after biting her. They weren’t too mad about Lira defeating him with her blade.  They liked him finally being at her mercy. 

Ben, swelling with pride, decided maybe he wasn’t so exhausted that he couldn’t answer a few more comments. Well, if his computer allowed. 

His computer wasn’t the best or newest and had a tendency to act up. He’d lost countless chapters because it froze up and when it unfroze they were gone. 

But, he didn’t want to buy a new one, he did a lot of his writing on his phone anyway. 

 

 

He smiled at ReyofLight’s replies. 

Her profile didn’t say much. Just how long she’d been a member, that she was yes a girl, and lived in the United States.

But who was she? 

She only seemed to read the stories not create her own. 

She was always supportive.

Positive.

Even when he killed off Alec or Lira she sadly applauded his risky moves. Detailing how much their angst and triumph over grief or pain hit her heart. Instead of calling him an array of explicatives and reaming him for not supplying a HEA.

Sad endings weren’t popular. Even if Alec was being a cruel prick, people still wanted him to stay with Lira. 

Ben was inclined to agree. 

Though, the darker the story went sometimes he couldn’t finish reading, he didn’t like Alec hurting Lira too much... his own darker fantasies only went so far.

He called it a night.

He needed sleep. 

 

 

He would deal with Evelyn’s wrath tomorrow. She was definitely not his Lira... he doubted he would ever find... that.