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Inspire Me Again

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Rey blinks at the sunrise.

It is so pretty to her... wouldn’t it be nice to watch it crawl from behind vast  mountain ranges or sparkling across massive oceans?

She thinks so.

Maybe it would be if she wasn’t so afraid to leave her room... her house. Talk to real people beyond a computer screen or her cell phone. See living people.

But even that thought makes her chest tighten. 

She takes a mild shower. It can’t be too hot or too cold.

She eats what her caregiver left on her nightstand.

It smells so good. She drips sticky honey across her toast to dip in her strawberry decorated oatmeal. Sips her pulpy orange juice.

She finishes and grabs her laptop, laying across her bed. She signs in and delves.

So much braver here... among these creators and wordsmiths.

She reads the latest chapter added by her favorite writer. She knows he lives in the United States too, and that it’s a guy... but nothing else. 

But he makes her want to.

His latest story is a vampire fic mixed in medieval times. Action packed and full of sexual depravity.

His female characters are so strong and dominant. The main guy described in a way that makes her quiver and mouth water. Though, if faced by such a specimen she would likely freeze... faint.

She loved his version of how Alec Star responded to Lira Conley in his space story last month. He uses their likeness like so many do, devoted fans of the movie series... or the actors themselves... but his words always hit her just right. With the new movie being released soon, fanfiction about them or using their names has gone crazy. 

Rey sees all of it online. 

Has read every book... article...

She’s obsessed with how broken and raw the two main leads come across... despite her innocence... despite his flaws...

Darkness meets light in a battle to control the universe... to rule. But Alec is so drawn to Lira. Weak to her hope. Rey feels connected to that hope Lira shows... her emotion. 

It makes her heart break.

This KyloRenRulz always rips her heart out with his depictions...

She likes his newest story, giving it a kind kudo and a comment of ‘how sad Alec is in these first chapters, so hopeless without Lira’.

He doesn’t get tons of hits, but she is devoted to following him.

She subscribed dutifully after stumbling on his 4th story years ago. Had gone back and bookmarked the first 3... read them quickly. Thriving on each unique journey.

She feels sad when he goes weeks or months not adding anything. Hurts for him when he has writer’s block.

She reads many others too... all loyal fans of the ship, but they are out, living outside too... not just reading about living.

At 18 she should be out there... 

Rey did all her schooling online, testing above and beyond. Labeled genius level smart, but she would be doing college online as well... she had her doctors... her caregiver... 

They gave her a wide berth. Money will do that. 

Rey clicked to skim her tumblr before exercising. Yoga was her newest delight.

She wondered how old he was. 

Rey smiles imagining how he might be. Halloween was over... Thanksgiving and Christmas coming. She hoped he found inspiration.