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The Glasses Make the Man

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"...Are those glasses?" Tony sighs.

"Yes Steve, these are glasses. Surely you know what these are. You aren't that old. Hand me that coffee please." Steve holds out the cup of coffee without breaking eye contact with Tony. He raises his eyebrow at Steve and takes the cup.

"I didn't know you have glasses." Tony sighs again.

"No one knows I have glasses. Pepper took it upon herself to not order me a new pair of contacts due to the fact that she thinks I look cute with glasses on." The two fall silent, so Tony takes a large sip of his coffee. Sweet, sweet cof-

"She's right." Tony clutches his chest and makes an awful noise as he coughs up his coffee onto the floor. He wipes away the tears in his eyes to see that Steve had escaped while he was dying and was replaced by Clint, who was standing in the doorway with a disgusted look on his face.

"Oh man, that was real attractive."

"Shut the fuck up Clint."


A day after the choking incident, the Avengers were sitting at the table in the kitchen after a particularly tedious fight against yet another one of Loki's attempts at making everyone kneel.

"At this point I don't even think Loki wants to take over the world," Bruce mumbles, sitting shirtless at the head of the table with his head in his hands. "I just think he's trying to fuck with us."

"Yes, my brother is indeed quite the burden to deal with," Thor agrees over a mouthful of poptart. Natasha shakes her head sullenly then pushes herself up from the table.

"I'm going to go take a shower, try to wash all this ash out of my hair." She turns and walks away after giving Clint a pointed look. He scrambles to get out of his chair and runs after her.

"God, he's just like a puppy. It looks like they aren't even trying to hide it anymore." Tony clicks his tongue in shame and Thor cocks his head to the side, also reminding Tony of a puppy.

"Hide what?"

"Sex, Thor. They're having sex." Thor's eyes widen as a large grin spreads across his face and practically lights up the whole room. Why is he so beautiful?

"Does this mean that the hawk and the spider will be participating in a ceremony of their love?" Steve, Tony, and Bruce sit in silence as they try to process what Thor just asked.

"..Are you asking if Clint and Natasha are going to get married?" Thor nods enthusiastically and Bruce and Steve both cover their mouths to stifle their laughter.

"Thor, buddy. Just because they're fucking doesn't mean that they're going to get married."

"I was taught to believe the appropriate term is the act of lovemaking."

"That's if they're in love."

"So they are in love!"

"THOR." Bruce snorts and Steve busts out into obnoxious laughter.


Steve was sitting on his bed drawing when Tony burst into his room. He screams and throws his sketch pad across the room. Tony raises his hands in mock defeat.

"Woah there, Capper Dapper. No need to freak. I just wanted to talk to you about some changes I want to make to your suit. What did you just throw?"

"Nothing. It's nothing. Not important. What changes?"

"Now you've peaked my interest, Rogers. I gotta see what it is." Tony slowly started making his way towards the assaulted sketchbook.

"Tony don't you dare."

"Dare what? I'm just looking at your room. It's pretty nice. A little plain, needs some decoration, but nice." He edges closer and closer to the sketchbook, once he was in arms reach he snatches it up and runs to the other side of the room. Steve shoots up out of his bed and tackles Tony onto the floor. He rips the sketchbook from his hands and clutches it to his chest.

"What the hell, Tony!"

"Oh no, Captain Morals cursed!"

"Shut up!" Tony grabs the sketchbook, pushes Steve off of him and to the ground, then straddles his chest while pinning his hands under his knees. They're both red faced and breathing heavily.

"Now..let's see what all this fuss was about." Tony flips through the first couple of pages. "Trees, a sunset, some buildings. What's the big deal Rog-...oh." He had stopped on the last page that had been drawn on. It was a picture of him, smiling, and with the glasses on. "Steve..this is amazing. Why were you trying to hide this from me?" Steve finally snaps and stands up after he pushes Tony off of him.

"Get out."

"What, why? I didn't mean to upset you I just-"

"Please. Just leave." Steve walks over to his door, opens it, and stands threr, staring at Tony with a stern look. Tony pushes himself up off the floor and stands in front of Steve, looking into his eyes.

"Steve, I-" Steve cuts him off yet again by pushing him through the door and shuts it. Tony hears the faint click of the lock and stares at the door for a couple of seconds before realizing Steve forgot to take his sketchbook back.


"Yes, Mister Stark?"

"Do we have any picture frames?"


It was nearly five thirty in the morning and Steve was standing outside of Tony's door, debating on if he should knock or not.

"Captain Rogers." Steve jumps at the sound of JARVIS' voice.

"Uhm, hi. JARVIS."

"I believe that Mister Stark is awake. If you so happened to knock, he would most likely answer."

"Oh. Uh. Thank you, JARVIS."

"My pleasure, Captain Rogers." Steve hesitantly holds out his fist and taps lightly on the door.

"Doors open." Steve slowly pushes the door open and slides inside the room. Tony puts the tablet he was messing with down and crosses his arms over his chest.

"To what do I owe this pleasant five A.M. visit?" Tony asks, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Tony, I, uh, just wanted to apologize for earlier. I shouldn't have gotten angry, it was a stupid reason. I also shouldn't have pushed you out, that was uncalled for." Steve walks over to Tony's bed and sits down on the edge. He glances around the room and stops at a spot above Tony's bed. Hanging right in the middle of the wall is the picture he drew, but framed. "I..did you frame that?" Tony snorts.


"Why?" Tony uncrosses his arms from his chest and looks down. Steve swears he can see a small red tint to his cheeks.

"I told you, it's amazing. I figured you wouldn't care if I tore it out and hung it up."

"No, I'm honored. Really!" Steve reaches over and places his hand on Tony's knee reassuringly. Tony's cheek tint increases by twenty percent.

"Why did you draw me? In the glasses no less."

"I told you," Steve mocks Tony with a small smile on his face. "You look cute in them." Tony hesitantly takes his hand and places it on top of Steve's and the two fall silent. They both look up at the same time and look each other in the eyes. Tony slowly starts to lean in. Steve coughs and pulls his hand away.

"I should go. I'm late for my morning run. Thanks for uhm, letting me in. I'll see you later." He gets up and runs out of the room, shutting the door behind him.


"Dude I think Steve has a glasses kink." Tony and Clint were sitting on the couch watching crappy movies and drinking way too many beers.

"What do you mean?"

"Ever since I started wearing these stupid things he's totally been telling me I'm cute. Man, yesterday I was going through his sketchbook and there was this like totally detailed picture of me with the glasses on." Clint snickers.

"Dude. Man. Bro. I don't think he has a glasses kink. I think he has a you kink." Tony groans and gulps down the rest of his beer.

"You want another?"

"Toooootalllyyy man." Tony grunts as he gets up and wobbily walks over to the fridge and grabs two more beers. He tosses Clint one and wobbles back over to the couch.


"To what?"

"Our inability to maintain normal romantic relationships." They clink their beers together and chug.

"Dude. Natasha' great. She's just. So awesome. And pretty. She has that hair that's all. Wow. And a smile that'" A goofy smile spreads across Clint's face.

"Shut up Clint, you're drunk."

"I'm not drunk you're drunk."

"Nice comeback."

"Thanks." Tony snorts and finishes off his beer.

"What is going on with you and Natasha though man?" Clint sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.

"We have sex. A lot. I don't think she realizes this, but I want something more. I want to take her out and buy her stuff and hold her hand and cuddle with her while watching stupid romance movies an-"

"Clint. Dude. Man. Bro. Chill. I get it, you're in love with her. I...are you crying?" Clint sniffles, shakes his head, and tries to discreetly wipe a tear away.

"I'm not crying you're crying." Tony pats his shoulder and nods reassuringly. Clint sniffs again, clears his throat, then straightens up his shoulders.

"So how do you feel about Steve? I mean obviously you've had a crush on him since he joined this team, everyone knows it."

"Back when he first joined he hated me. It wasn't until earlier this week that he gave any inclination that he didn't hate me. Or that he wasn't straight. Every time he's around I feel like there's a thousand moths in my stomach."

"You mean butterflies?"

"Shut up."

"Wrongly worded metaphor aside, I understand. If you're for sure he's hitting on you now, why don't you pursue a relationship?"

"We all know I'm bad at those. My longest was with Pepper and you saw how badly that crashed and burned."

"But you two are still good friends. If you fuck up things with Steve, you would still be friends. Come on man, we're gonna get you an all American boyfriend."


"So you got this, you know the game plan?"

"Clint, I'm fine. I know what to do." Clint fake sniffles.

"My baby's growing up."

"Oh shut up."

"Go over the plan one more time."

"Okay, Jesus. I go to my room, take a long shower, think of a non dorky speech, brush my teeth a lot, put on nice clothes, run to Steve's room, and kiss him into oblivion. "I'm so proud. Go get 'em tiger."


Steve was sitting on his bed trying to work one of the Stark tablets when Tony burst into his room, again. Steve screamed and threw the tablet on the floor. "Shit, Tony!"

Tony ignored him and ran to sit beside him on the bed. "Steve, listen. I'm just gonna be completely honest here and say I've had something for you since I first saw you. I'm awful at relationships, Pepper can tell you that much. But you make me feel some sort of stupid way and I really want to make something work between us. If you don't want to I under-" Steve cuts tony off by pressing their lips together in a quick peck then pulls away. "..Oh."

"I'd love to make something work between us Tony. I've been dropping hints all week. Also I'm sorry about your tablet. It's probably broken."

"It's okay I can give you another one. Let's kiss some more."

"Okay." Steve smiles, raises his hand to rest it on Tony's cheek, and they both lean in and press their lips together.

Tony and Steve were sitting on the couch, watching crappy movies and cuddling. Bruce was sitting on the couch opposite of them, and giving them congradulatory smiles. Thor was beside him. beaming at them and giving them thumbs up. Why is he so beautiful.

"Mister Stark, you have a package." JARVIS' voice echoes through the room. Tony gives Steve a deep kiss and Clint whoops from an unknown place. He's probably spying on everyone from the air vents again. What an asshole.

"I'll be right back, honey bunch."

"I told you not to call me that."

"And I didn't listen." Tony walks over to Dummy, who is rolling towards him with a package in his claw. He takes it from him and rips it open to reveal a new pair of contacts. He scoffs then tosses them in the trashcan and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Clint whoops again and Tony holds up his middle finger.