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The idea is first planted in Brienne’s head like a year earlier. Jaime was throwing a party and they were all a little too drunk and a little too loose and playing Never Have I Ever. Sansa, perched in Margaery’s lap, had raised her cup and smugly said, “Never have I ever given someone a blow job.”

Tyrion snickered. Margaery cheersed her girlfriend before taking a swig from her cup. Brienne, ever honorable, took a drink even though the blow job in question had been deeply regrettable. Surely other people in the circle drank.

But what Brienne noticed was the quick look Jaime and Addam shared before they both took a sip. She let out a tiny gasp.

Margaery noticed, too.

“Jaime Lannister and Addam Marbrand,” she said. “Care to share with the class?”

Addam shrugged. Jaime smirked.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” he said.

Yes, Brienne thought. Yes. I would like to know.

Before that night, when she was in bed all alone with her vibrator, she’d thought of Jaime alone, golden and glistening and worshiping her body. But now she thought of them both. Jaime kissing her front while Addam kissed her back. Sucking Jaime off while sitting on Addam’s face. Addam sucking Jaime off while she watches. It’s the best idea she’s ever had, and she always expects it to stay that way — just an idea. A daydream. A dirty secret she’ll never tell.

But then. Three weeks later, she and Jaime are at his apartment, watching Star Wars and arguing over whether Kylo Ren can be redeemed when he pulls her close and kisses her for the first time.

“I’ve wanted to do that for years,” he whispers, his nose rubbing against hers.

“Me too,” she says before kissing him back.

So then they’re dating. Which is exactly like being best friends except they’re always touching and they’re often kissing and Brienne quickly learns that having sex with Jaime is one million times better than she imagined, and not just because he is a wizard with his tongue and his dick is like porn star big. Sometimes it’s all the little things that get her — the weight of his body on hers, the feel of his chest hair, the way his fingertips press into her hips when he’s going down on her. It’s the way he smiles at her first thing in the morning when they wake up in the same bed, the way he’s slowly stealing her favorite tee shirts, the way he licks his bottom lip when he catches her eye when they’re with their friends and he wants her but he can’t do anything about it. She feels so lucky and she knows he feels so lucky because he tells her constantly and when she moves in she can barely believe this is her life.

Addam comes over to hang out with them quite a bit, and if they all start drinking, Brienne realizes that things get... flirty . Addam is flirty with Jaime and Addam is flirty with Brienne and they both are flirty back. And Brienne and Jaime have sex most nights but she feels like they’re always a bit more charged after Addam leaves. And she thinks about that game of Never Have I Ever, and for a month she thinks about a way to stealthily bring it up.

Instead, she drinks a bit too much champagne at Sansa and Margaery’s engagement party and the whole thing makes her so giddy and she can’t stop kissing Jaime as he helps her into their bedroom and out of her dress.

“Jaime,” she says, in her best serious voice (which is terrible because she is drunk). “I have to ask you a very important question.”

“Right now?” he asks, trying to help her out of the very strappy sandals she insisted on wearing (a mean feat for a man with one fully functional hand). 

“Yes,” she replies. “Have you and Addam…” She struggles to find the words. 

“Have I and Addam…” he repeats, finally getting her right shoe off. 

“Before we were together, did you and Addam… Did you and Addam give each other brojobs?”

Jaime releases a shock of laughter. 

“Brojobs? What is a brojob?”

She pushes him away and take her shoe off herself (it takes more effort than she likes).

“When bros give each other blow jobs!” Why is he being so difficult?

“Oh,” he says, rubbing his hand through his beard. “Where did you learn that word?”

“Porn!” she says, finally taking her bra off. She realizes she’s naked and Jaime is fully dressed. And the annoying little brat is laughing at her again. So she explains about how she always wanted to know, ever since they played Never Have I Ever. That’s when he stops laughing. 

“Does that bother you?” he asks carefully. He’s started to undress, finally. “That Addam and I used to be together like that?”

“No,” she says, quickly. “The exact opposite.” He smirks and pulls her to him on the bed. 

“Are you saying you’d like to watch?” She shakes her head. 

“I’m saying I want to be involved.”

Brienne is slightly too drunk to have sex that night, but Jaime demolishes her hangover headache with some incredible cunnilingus work in the morning. Their neighbors give them very dirty looks when they run into them that afternoon.

“Yo Addam, do you want to have a threesome?”

Brienne almost chokes on her beer. She’d been thinking about how to phrase this for weeks and Jaime just says it.

Addam is unphased, thankfully. “With you two or in general?”

“The first one,” Jaime says before continuing to eat his pizza. “It was Brienne’s idea.”

That surprises Addam, at least. Brienne tries to put a normal look on her face. She is not sure what that would be in this situation. 

“Oh yeah?” Addam asks. “What did you have in mind?” He cocks his eyebrow. He didn’t say no. 

“What do you mean?” she asks. Addam sips his beer, like he’s all cool and casual but she thinks she sees his hand shake just a little, which makes her feel better. 

“Well me and Jaime could both touch you, or me and you could both touch Jaime, or we could all touch each other,” he says.

“The last one,” Brienne says and then she needs some beer herself. Jaime narrows his eyes at Addam.

“How many threesomes have you had?” he asks. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Addam says with a wink. He finishes his beer. “Alright, are we doing this now or are we marking a date in our calendars?”

Five minutes later, Brienne is very happy. They’re all kneeling on the bed, naked. Jaime is behind her, kissing her neck and rubbing his erection into her ass. Addam is in front of her, and his hands are on her nipples and his lips are on hers. He’s rougher than Jaime, and faster, too. She could be happy if they just stayed like this all night.

But they don’t have to.

She pulls away from Addam’s mouth. “Kiss each other,” she orders. She doesn’t know if it’s the wrong move — Jaime loves when she bosses him around in bed, but she doesn’t know Addam if will — but then they are kissing each other and it was definitely the right move. 

Addam’s hands are still on her nipples and Jaime is still pressed against her but now they’re making out and Brienne could watch them for hours. And then Addam gives this cute little moan because Jaime has reached out and is stroking his dick and Brienne for a second can’t believe any of this is happening. When she had allowed herself to think about this dream becoming real, she’d sort of been stressed about it, but she feels so safe and comfortable here, sandwiched between Jaime and Addam. 

And then Addam slips a finger inside Brienne and she realizes she’s ridiculously wet. 

“Holy shit,” she says, and Addam and Jaime break apart and and give her twin grins. In silent agreement, they push her back onto the bed. Addam starts kissing up her legs as Jaime takes her right breast into his mouth. She writhes beneath them, a string of expletives pouring forth from her mouth. Adam kisses the inside of her thighs, then licks his tongue everywhere but where she wants it to be. 

“Please,” she moans, and she thinks they hears them both snigger. Motherfuckers.

Addam finally sucks on her clit and she screams so loud that Jaime kisses her to try to keep her even a little quiet. But Addam’s tongue and fingers are in her cunt and Jaime’s mouth is on hers and his hand is twisting her nipple and she’s never felt so good in her whole fucking life. She comes so quickly and so hard that when it’s done all she can do is laugh. The boys — her boys, because they both feel like hers now, even if it’s just for tonight — look so fucking smug and she can’t even tell them not to. 

“I think we’re being ungracious hosts, Jaime,” she says, and a moment later they’re both kneeling at Addam’s feet while they give him a blow job together. He has a hand on each of their heads as they lick him up and down. Jaime pulls Addam’s cock toward him for a moment and deepthroats him like maybe he’s done it 100 times before and maybe he has. Brienne can’t help but touch herself as she watches him and he winks at her because he is the devil and she is a sinner.

He releases Addam with a pop and they lick him together until he comes all over both their chests.

Then Jaime is left. They get him on his back on the bed.

“Do you want a blow job, too?” Brienne asks. He shakes his head.

“I just want to fuck you,” he says. “No offense,” he shoots at Addam, who shrugs. 

“Next time you can fuck me,” Addam says, and woah, Brienne hadn’t even thought of the possibilities. 

But that’s for tomorrow. Instead, she rides Jaime as Addam sits behind her, kissing her neck and rubbing her clit. Jaime pulls himself up so he can kiss her and he digs his fingertips into her hips the way she likes.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” he chants as he comes. Addam picks up the pace of his fingers and she comes again too, tightening around Jaime’s cock. She expects a noise complaint.

Then they collapse in a pile on top of Jaime’s very expensive sheets, which will definitely need to be cleaned like three times. They just lie there, touching each other and leaving light little kisses as they catch their breath.

“We should probably shower,” Brienne says after a long while. Jaime smiles.

“I think it’s big enough for three.”