Chapter 1: Prologue
Dressed only in some butterfly print boxer shorts and holding his long red hair to one side, Kami stared at himself in the mirror, trying to see the bulge on his back better but struggling to find the right angle. It was a few days before his thirteenth birthday and the large vertical swelling around his spine was a sign he was going to change. Change into what, he couldn’t say as the possibilities were almost endless. He shuddered at the thought of becoming one of those things, hoping he was just in need of spinal surgery or something equally more mundane. The growth was painful, it was possible it was just a medical condition. He could still hope. Anything was better than becoming a monster.
“Ukyou!” His mother called up to him, the second time this morning. “If you don’t come down for breakfast, you’re going to school hungry!”
“Five minutes!” Kami pleaded, rushing to get dressed as fast as he could. He’d been staring at the growth too long and it wasn’t like it was going anywhere. He’d had the thing for weeks already.
He hurried downstairs in his school uniform, just a kid like any other. The only remarkable thing about him was the length of his hair, which went down past his hips. This was the crucial year, every creature revealed itself around their thirteenth birthday. He wasn’t one of them, he wasn’t. Why then was he so scared to see a doctor?
Breakfast was eaten in a hurry but he left on time to catch the train to school. He stood up for the journey, pretending he was leaving spaces for the more vulnerable when asked by his friends, though really his back ached whenever he leant against the bugle. It was getting worse by the day. Soon he would transform.
Feeling nauseas Kami wondered what the bulge could be. Wings were his first thought, he had always longed to fly, but knowing his luck it was scales or something just as grotesque. He shuddered at the thought, reassuring his concerned friend that there was nothing wrong. Everything was falling apart, his happy childhood dissolving into a tragic future. His parents would be devastated, he hoped he would be given the chance to say goodbye. How much longer did he have left anyway?
As it turned out it was only a few hours before he let out a scream in class, the bulge in his back feeling like it was ripping open. He fainted from the pain, unsure of what happened next but someone must have helped him to the nurse’s office, for this was where he woke up feeling alone and confused.
He sat up, finding the pain was gone now. He felt as light as a feather, as if he really could fly now, or perhaps he had simply died and this was the weight of his soul without a body? Across the room was his classmate, now sporting a pair of beautiful crimson wings. She looked as lost and scared as he felt and that was when he remembered her birthday was only the day before his own. Almost thirteen, just like himself.
“They think your transformation triggered mine, seeing as we’re Kin.” She explained to him. It was then he thought to look in a mirror, gasping as the sapphire blue and black wings he now wore. No, not wore, had grown. He was Other-Kin, no longer human, no longer a young boy with many friends.
“Ukyou! You’re awake!” His mother gasped as she entered the room. She rushed to his side, trying to hug him but struggling with the wings. “I was so worried. Are you feeling all right?”
“I’m a monster!” Kami gasped as he began to cry in his mother’s arms. He sobbed long and hard, clinging on to what he felt were his last moments of maternal affection. He had been a lucky one, his mother had bothered to come and see him. Perhaps his mother was more sympathetic than most, she had a brother just like him. As sympathetic as she was, he had been sent to a boarding school filled with Other-Kin, some even just like him. His parents had kept in contact, his mother visiting from time to time but never with his father. He was a monster but at least he was a relatively attractive one. In the coming years he’d meet many who’s forms were it worse than his own.
Chapter 2: Chapter 1: What a Stallion!
The university campus was lit up with jack-o-lanterns and other spooky things, the dorms filled with sights meant to scare. Kami always loved Halloween, the one day of the year when he felt being the freak he had become was preferable to being just a normal boy.
Hovering above the cold floor, his open backed top just adding to the chill as his hair did it’s best to cover him, he made his way to the sports hall where a party was in full swing. Every year this university hosted a Halloween party for the Other-Kin that resided in the halls. As a first-year student this would be his first time to attend.
“Kami! You made it!” A Dragonfly-Kin greeted him. He smiled at his friend, the pair fluttering towards a small group of winged Insect-Kin. He felt normal with these friends, two butterflies, a moth, three ladybirds and his dragonfly friend. He’d learned in his time here that it was your personality that triggered what you would come. He had adored butterflies all his life, now he had become like one.
“I see this is where the fairies gather.” A loud-mouthed jock type mocked them. He was Bull-Kin and acted just as hard he appeared. It was an attack on him, this bull had been teasing him for months now, ever since he had asked the other to go for a dinner date, only to find the bull had only ever been leading him on from the start. His lip quivered, he cried easily and was highly sensitive to the fact his sexuality was just another reason why he stood out.
“What’s the matter, jealous that you’re not beautiful? That you can’t fly?” One of his friends challenged. It was enough for the bull to leave them alone, but his words had already been enough to dampen what could have been a wonderful night.
“Isn’t it true though?” Kami asked, “We look like fairies...”
“Kami, we’re the inspiration for fairies!” His friend interrupted. Perhaps that was true but it didn’t change Kami’s fears. As pretty as they were, fairies could be spiteful and cruel creatures. He was a monster, no matter how much those around him complimented his wings.
Pushing the thoughts aside, Kami tried his best to enjoy the party but soon found himself standing by the buffet as his friends had one by one gone off to dance or mingle. He was too shy for loud crowds and wasn’t having any fun at all. Perhaps he should go back to his dorm and play that game everyone was talking about.
Half decided to leave and already focused on the door, he noticed the two Horse-Kin enter the room and could only stare in wide eyed surprise. Both men were beautiful, with long hair and an even longer horse tail that was exposed through a hole in their modified clothes. One blond, one black haired, but both in trousers so tight he could see the definition of the bulge Horse-Kin were legendary for. He couldn’t keep his eyes away from the dark-haired man, he was so well endowed and did nothing to hide the fact.
The two men moved towards him, going straight to get a drink. As Kami watched, the blond took a flask from his jacket pocket and poured a clear liquid into both of their glasses. The blond caught his eye, so Kami turned away quickly. He wasn’t going to report these men, they were hardly the first to sneak alcohol into the gym.
When he looked back, the two men had moved to one side where they shared a very intimate kiss. Just his luck that the man he had been admiring was gay but taken. He wouldn’t deny that he was attracted to him. Like the bull, he was handsome and strong and it appealed to Kami, who believed himself to be feminine and soft.
“Kami! You came?” His roommate Yu~ki exclaimed. “You could have told me!”
“Sorry!” Kami apologised. “I wasn’t going to but Daisuke made me.”
“Whatever,” Yu~ki said, “I’m not mad.”
“Didn’t you have swim practice anyway? I thought the swim team were having their own party?”
“I got bored.” Yu~ki answered. As Seal-Kin he was a strong swimmer, his flipper like arms giving mastery over the water. He was less human than quite a few of the students here, his whiskers and flippers giving him a more monstrous look, yet he seemed completely unphased by the changes to his body. Some of the students here didn’t seem to care that they were no longer human, but for Kami he just couldn’t accept what he was. As much as he loved butterflies, he had never wanted to be one.
“You and me both.” Kami began, jumping slightly as a hand rested on his shoulder. He turned to find the black horse smiling at him, his teeth perfectly white and straight. So human, though the front teeth were twice as thick as his own. Not quite the teeth of a herbivore, but not entirely human anymore.
“Did you want to dance?” the horse asked. Helplessly Kami looked at Yu~ki for help, but the other only encouraged him to go.
“I guess so?” Kami said, allowing the horse to lead him into the centre of the room. He glanced at the blond, who gave him a smile and a nod. He was fine with his boyfriend dancing with another man in front of him? Perhaps this was nothing but a sympathy dance? He knew the horse had caught him staring, he was embarrassed just thinking about it.
“You’re worried about You?” The horse asked. “Don’t be, a stallion has a herd of mares, does he not?”
“You think of me as a woman?” Kami found himself teasing, surprised by his own confidence. Where had that come from?
“If I saw you as a woman, we wouldn’t be dancing,” his partner replied. “I’m Gackt.”
“Kami.” He said, the answer seeming to please Gackt.
“It suits you,” Gackt complimented him, placing his hands on Kami’s hips and pulling him closer until their bodies were pressed tightly together. Scared of becoming aroused, Kami tried to move back but Gackt wasn’t allowing it. “Don’t be scared, we’re just dancing.”
“People are staring,” Kami protested. “Your boyfriend is staring.”
“They’re staring because we’re the most beautiful couple in the room.” Gackt reassured him, sounding like he meant it. Kami was sure that wasn’t why people had been staring at Gackt, though he truly was handsome. Perhaps even the most handsome man in the room. Nervously Kami moved against Gackt, resting his head on the other’s shoulder to hide his face. Perhaps it was best to just enjoy this moment, the strange sensation of being wanted. Soon Gackt would move on and he’d go home with this nice memory of the night.
“Are you smelling my hair?” Kami suddenly asked. He didn’t mind, perhaps it was a horse thing, it was just different.
“It smells good,” Gackt answered, “You smell good. Is that women’s perfume?”
“Uni-sex.” Kami corrected, blushing now. He felt entirely dominated by Gackt, at his mercy, yet he didn’t mind at all. The song ended and another started, still Gackt clung onto him and he moved his head away from Gackt’s chest so that he could take in his expression. Gackt looked entirely infatuated by him, for the first time Kami realised this dance wasn’t out of pity at all. The other truly wanted him and with another glance at You, he knew nothing was stopping him making a move.
Gackt’s hands began to slid to his ass, pushing the other as close as he could go. Surprised Kami accepted the touch, perhaps so desperate for affection that even lustful groping was acceptable. This was a meeting of bodies, not minds, but Kami found that this was all he needed that night.
“Camui-san!” One of the professors called out, approaching the couple with an annoyed expression. They were all adults here, it wasn’t supposed to be a chaperoned dance, but this professor didn’t seem to understand that. He scolded Gackt, putting all the blame on the horse. Nervously Kami wondered if he should speak up, he had done nothing to discourage the other.
“Fine then, we’ll leave.” Gackt declared, taking Kami by the hand and leading him outside. It was even colder now than before and his bare back and wings felt like they may just freeze. He folded his wings together behind him, hiding their bright colours as he attempted to keep himself warm.
“Winter doesn’t suit you, does it?” Gackt said sympathetically. “Don’t worry, my dorm is just over there.”
“I can handle it.” Kami promised, allowing himself to be led across campus. He hadn’t expected to go home with a man tonight and was shocked that he was just happily going along. Perhaps he was too horny to think straight? Gackt really was beautiful.
“Did it hurt?” Kami asked, “When that tail grew?”
“It was uncomfortable to sit while the tail bone grew, but it’s mainly hair,” Gackt explained. “I got used to it. Those wings hurt you, didn’t they?”
“Yes,” Kami confessed. “I fainted from the pain. It was the worst day of my life. Ever since, I couldn’t lean against my back at all. They’re so fragile, I’m terrified that they may rip, though they haven’t so far.”
“I date a Swan-Kin on and off, he has similar problems with his wings. To me he looks like an angel but I think your patterns are even better. Between the two of us, I just love a man with wings.” Gackt confessed. So, it had been his wings that had attracted the other? He’d read about male butterflies that used their colourful wings to attract females, it seemed without trying he had done just that, only instead of a woman he had brought a man to his side.
“Am I a fetish to you?” Kami asked, though he was smiling, he didn’t mind at all if he was.
“You ask that, when the moment you saw me you couldn’t pry your gaze away from my crotch?” Gackt asked without judgement. He was smiling just as Kami had been. “It’s true what they say about Horse-Kin genitalia.”
“I can see that.” Kami answered, blushing now. He was totally not himself tonight. Something about Gackt stripped away his worries and concerns, leaving him flirtatious and relaxed. With that thought in mind, he pulled out his phone and sent a message to Yu~ki so that he wouldn’t worry when he didn’t return that night.
They entered the dorm, heading up two flights of stairs and into a private room that Kami’s own family hadn’t been able to afford. This was the luxury block, every student getting a living area, bedroom and bathroom all to themselves.
“My family pay to keep me away.” Gackt said, as Kami commented on the room.
“Same,” Kami admitted. “It was boarding school before here. My mother visits perhaps once a year, but she messages me still.”
“One day society will know we’re not monsters, just different.” Gackt said firmly, pulling a couple of drinks from a mini-fridge and handing one to Kami. It was a beer, Kami realised, but he opened it and took a sip anyway. Not monsters, that was the first time he had ever heard anyone say that so confidentially.
“I’m not so sure of that,” Kami confessed. “But I would like to live in your world, if that’s true.”
“Consider this dorm my world then,” Gackt ordered, placing a warm hand on Kami’s exposed lower back. “You’re freezing, I’ll give you a massage to warm you up.”
“I’ll be fine.” Kami protested, but he lay face down on the sofa all the same and let Gackt rub some warmth into him. It was relaxing being here, drinking the beer and just talking about whatever came to mind. He was well aware of Gackt’s attentions, the other had been all over him, but it seemed the stallion beside him was making the efforts to seduce him.
His top was secured by a halter neck and thin strip around the waist, both tied behind him but he let Gackt pull the bows loose, the fabric laying beneath him as the other continued his massage. Soon he was warm again, his wings unfolding as they no longer needed to trap heat between them.
“Like a flower coming to bloom,” Gackt remarked. “It’s a shame I can’t collect a feather.”
“You do that with your swan?” Kami asked, making Gackt pause before addressing the question.
“Yes,” Gackt admitted. “But let’s not talk about others. I only want to think of you tonight.”
“Sorry.” Kami apologised, relieved he hadn’t ruined the mood. He didn’t really understand polyamory at all, simply grateful that he could have this night even if Gackt did have others. He didn’t feel like a conquest, Gackt wanted him in a similar way that he wanted Gackt in return. This was about desire and affection, nothing more.
Gackt leant towards his neck, his long hair falling to one side to truly resemble a horse’s main. Other-kin, not monsters, just different, Kami remembered Gackt’s words. A gentle kiss was laid on his exposed neck, an excuse for Gackt to sniff him again. Different, not wrong, Kami thought as Gackt’s mouth lay a trail off kisses across his shoulder.
“I thought being smelled would be creepy, you make it erotic.” Kami accused, to which Gackt grinned like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar but allowed the cookie all the same.
“Well that’s better than being told I’m weird,” Gackt answered, “Which I am. I’m well aware that I’m different. I just embrace it.”
“I like your differences.” Kami said flirtatiously. Gackt went silent for a moment, studying him thoughtfully.
“You can’t lie on your back,” He finally commented, but if you stand with me behind you, I could massage your chest too?”
“I guess that would be ok,” Kami said, worried for his wings. “But please be careful.”
“I promise I will.” Gackt said, smiling as Kami stood, his top remaining on the sofa where he had lay. As promised, he moved behind Kami, leaning against him without force as his arms moved beneath the wings and onto his chest. It was strange having anything touch his wings, even Kami avoided touching them, and they were incredibly sensitive to the other’s touch. He realised to his surprise that it was a huge turn on to be held like this, but perhaps that was more to do with the way Gackt’s hips were rubbing slowly against him.
Gackt’s hands moved up, forgetting all pretence of a massage as he began to stroke Kami’s hardened nipples. With a murmur of contentment, he pulled away from Gackt’s embrace. It was all so fast, he’d only ever kissed a man before and that had been as a joke. Still, when Gackt opened his arms for him, he stepped in and began to kiss Gackt without any regrets. He trusted Gackt, who had been honest from the start. Better to be worshipped by a god of a man for a night, than be lonely Kami thought as he began to unbutton Gackt’s shirt.
Curiosity and lust controlled his movements now, as he carefully brought down the zip on Gackt’s tight trousers. It was bigger than he had thought, Kami realised as he helped Gackt out of his clothes, the shirt falling in the pile of fabric on the floor. Like the clothes, Kami fell to his knees and took the heavy weight in his hand. Shyly he smiled up at Gackt, before running his tongue along the harden flesh.
He began to stroke the erection as he would his own, licking at the flesh but not having the confidence to take another man fully in his mouth. Perhaps it was more erotic to play with him like this? Gackt certainly seemed pleasantly surprised by his actions. How could he ignore this organ though? He’d been entranced by the thoughts of this from the moment he had first met the man.
Forgetting himself and the other’s judgement, even that he was in the room, Kami continued to appreciate what the stallion had on show. He loved male genitalia, always had, though it was puberty that had taught him just how much.
He traced the veins with his tongue, cupping balls in one hand as he stroked Gackt with another. He was fixated on this flesh, no longer feeling shyness or uncertainty. It wasn’t until Gackt began to moan that he remembered this organ he worshipped was attached to a living man. He looked up, smiling nervously at the other, who’s admiration of him was written all over his face.
Kami froze in place, embarrassed now by what he had been doing. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t suck on another man’s length but surely that would be the next step? Nervously he took in the tip but pulled back. It was just to intimate, too soon.
“I can’t do this,” Kami apologised. “Not with my mouth. It just feels…”
“Don’t push yourself,” Gackt reassured him, kneeling down in front of Kami to awkwardly hold him. The wings were always in the way, Kami thought begrudgingly. “Is this your limit?”
“No,” Kami realised. “I can go further, it’s just this one act I can’t do.”
“If I took you to my bedroom, would you undress and give yourself to me?” Gackt asked. It was obvious that he expected the answer to be no, yet Kami realised that he was more than happy to try this.
“I’ve never done anything like this,” Kami admitted. “Would it hurt? You’re so big.”
“I know how to please you,” Gackt promised. “You just need to trust me.”
“I do.” Kami said, standing up and removing his jeans and underwear before Gackt’s watchful eyes. The stallion smiled up at him, moving his mouth down over hardened flesh without a second’s thought. What had been so hard to Kami, was easy for this man. Feeling a little guilty but mostly horny, Kami watched as Gackt moved his mouth over him, soft lips engulfing his arousal in a wet heat.
He stepped back away from this pleasure, he wouldn’t accept something he couldn’t return, and headed to the bedroom before he could have second thoughts. He hadn’t imagined losing his virginity to a one-night stand, but the time was right.
He’d thought about this before, how he would be able to submit to another with his wings preventing him lying on his back. It felt wrong to face his partner and he didn’t have the confidence to take control anyway. Doing what felt right, he crawled onto the bed, burying his head against the sheets as his ass was kept up for Gackt’s use. He could sense the other watching him, so fluttered his wings to catch his attention.
Instantly Gackt was beside him, retrieving lube and condoms from the bedside table before he moved behind Kami. Condoms, Kami hadn’t even thought about them but was glad that Gackt had prepared. Nervously he accepted a lube coated finger into his body, finding it felt no different to when he had tried this on himself. Gackt however found his prostrate with ease, something Kami had never done, and the pleasure was almost overwhelming.
“There!” Kami gasped, pleased when Gackt began to brush the spot lightly. This was what he had read about, the pleasure brought by submitting to a man. He’d known that being gay meant he would be doing this, had never considered being dominant in any way.
The second finger inside him heightened the sensations, leaving Kami gasping and moaning into the sheets. He was doing this! Finally, he was becoming a man and what a man to claim him! His wings fluttered in delight, not enough to lift his body but enough to make Gackt comment on just how arousing it was. His wings, that had caused him so much trouble, were the catalyst to this night and Kami found he no longer resented their present. He wasn’t a monster, not in this moment, he was a beacon for Gackt’s lust.
“Take me,” Kami begged. “I want to feel your impressive manhood deep inside.”
“Patience, I promised you no pain.” Gackt reminded him. Adding a third finger inside the butterfly before him. He was probably right, this finger was tight inside him, stretching him, making him want to tense even as Gackt told him to relax. Soon his body accepted the intrusion, relaxing was easy as the pleasure flew through him. He wanted this! He wanted this badly.
A fourth finger entered him, stretching him to his limits. He bit the sheets to hide the painful moan, not wanting Gackt to know his discomfort. He could take this length! He knew he could! There, the pain had only been brief, easy to overcome and now he was ready.
Gackt’s cock replaced the fingers, sliding slowly as his body opened up. He could tell the other’s body was tense, eager to thrust but scared of causing him pain and Kami knew he had to be selfish. He could take this but they had to be careful. Gackt was just so big! Inch by inch the other filled him and it felt good! As his body relaxed, his wings stilled, spread wide open, displaying their colourful designs to the man who was going to use his body for pleasure. Slowly Gackt pulled back, thrusting gently into him with slow deliberate movements. He was getting used to this, the intrusion becoming something he could enjoy and not just endure.
Slowly Gackt began to increase his speed, thrusting into him with a steady pace. His body screamed for more as he moaned uncontrollably into the sheets. Almost too big but he could take him, that was all that mattered. Shaking in pleasure, Kami clung on to the bed, trying to meet Gackt’s forward thrusts, not wanting to be just submissive to the other though it was hard to do anything at all.
His wings began to spasm out of control, lifting his torso from the bed a few inches. He hovered there as Gackt took him, crying out the other’s name over and over again. This wasn’t the position he had planned, but like facing away felt right, so did this.
A hand snaked beneath him, wrapping around his cock and stroking him as hard and fast as the thrusts into him had become. Lost in pleasure Kami let the orgasm sweep over him, no longer sure if he was in control of his body at all. Spent he fell back against the bed, his ass high in the air as Gackt finished inside him, a condom protecting him from being filled with cum.
He felt vulnerable now, stripped naked and used as he had been. He moved to his side, curling up on himself as Gackt moved to lay beside him on the bed. What had he done? Now the moment was over he couldn’t stand that he had lost his virginity to this man. Where was the romantic love story? This hadn’t been what he had imagined. Not even close.
Gackt kissed him and he kissed the other back, knowing that the stallion was concerned. He pushed his sudden fear aside and embraced the other, allowing the other to sniff his hair as they lay exhausted on the bed.
When Gackt fell asleep, he slipped away. Dressing quickly as he hurried to get home. He couldn’t stay, Gackt had a boyfriend and he was just a one-night fling. People would talk about them in the morning, the couple who had been kicked out of the Halloween dance. He hated the very idea, they’d know Gackt had cheated on his boyfriend. Even if You didn’t mind, Kami did.
He made his way into his bedroom, finding Yu~ki was yet to return. Perhaps that was for the best. The other would only ask questions. It wasn’t even that late. Could he pretend nothing had happened? Did he want to lie to his friend?
A text message broke his thoughts and he froze when he saw it was from Gackt. He’d forgotten he’d given the other his number on the walk to the dorm. Nervously he opened it, feeling guilty when he saw Gackt’s concerned message that he had done something wrong. Reassuring Gackt that he hadn’t, that he had enjoyed himself, he wondered if perhaps he shouldn’t have run away so quickly.
Gackt’s next text stopped his thoughts cold. It couldn’t be, this wasn’t what the night had been about but here was the offer to meet up again. It took only a moment before Kami had text back that he would be happy to see the other. Perhaps there was room for romance after all, though not the romance he had originally planned. He would be one of Gackt’s lovers, part of his herd of mares as Gackt put it. What Gackt did with other’s didn’t need to reflect on him, perhaps that was the point of polyamory? To experience many types of romance at the same time? He doubted he would find another but that was fine, he was happy to share his lover with the world. Just as long as he got his time with the gorgeous stallion that was sure to fill his dreams that night.
Chapter 3: Chapter 2: Romance at the Riverside
Kami woke to the sounds of his roommate entering the room and sat up to give him a dirty look. He was about to say something about the noise, before noticing that it was already past ten. Had he slept so long? He supposed the excitement from the night before had kept him awake well into the early hours of the morning.
“Oh, your home,” Yu~ki said, giving Kami a curious look. “Everyone says you left with Gackt after getting kicked out of the dance! He was drinking you know?”
“We may have got kicked out.” Kami said blushing.
“He’s an idiot for sneaking alcohol in.” Yu~ki agreed, starting his rant about the evils of alcohol. Remembering the beer he had drunk, Kami remained quiet and let his friend run out of steam.
“Think what you want,” Kami replied. “Gackt is a great guy. He wasn’t even drunk.”
“So, the other rumour is true?” Yu~ki asked. “He was groping you on the dance floor?”
“Well…” Kami said, blushing bright red. “There may have been a professor who got upset.”
“Kami!” Yu~ki exclaimed. “Tell me everything? Did he take you to his dorm? I got your message saying you weren’t coming home.”
“I went to his dorm.” Kami confessed, Yu~ki would find out the truth if he lied, might as well just tell him.
“And?” Yu~ki pressed.
“My back was cold from the walk, so he massaged warmth back into my body.” Kami explained, not needing to say anymore. Yu~ki had already figured it out.
“You gave him your virginity?” Yu~ki demanded. “You hardly know him!”
“I don’t regret it.” Kami answered, far from him, he was more than excited by the idea of meeting up with Gackt again.
“He has a boyfriend.” Yu~ki said gently.
“I know,” Kami replied. “His boyfriend, You, didn’t mind. He and Gackt just seem to do as they please and I’m all right sharing him.” In all honesty, perhaps spending too much time with Gackt would be overwhelming. The man was certainly a force to be reckoned with.
“I get it,” Yu~ki said. “You’re desperate for affection and took it from the first man who offered it you. This relationship won’t last. It’s not you. You’re the romantic type! Not a man-whore who sleeps with whatever pretty thing catches his eye!”
“If this had been a woman, you’d be congratulating me right now. Encouraging me to do just what you’re now protesting!” Kami exclaimed. He’d never stood up to You before but found he was strangely defensive of this new relationship he was developing with his stallion.
“I would not!” Yu~ki answered. “Look, men like us, we’re going to stand out and be ridiculed. We should avoid acting out further. We’re monsters and…”
“No, we’re not!” Kami exclaimed. “Not at all! Gackt say’s we’re just different and when I’m with him, I believe it. He makes me have confidence in myself and yes, he does bring the affection I crave but the connection between us is far deeper than just physical need!” It was the first time he had raised his voice to Yu~ki but he hadn’t been able to stop himself. What right did his roommate have to come in here and try and ruin his good mood?
“Just different?” Yu~ki repeated. “You can use that to justify a lot but I’ll trust your judgement. Tell me about this Gackt. What does he like, what’s he’s studying, is he in any clubs?” It hadn’t been a trick question, Yu~ki was trying to make peace, but Kami found himself struggling to answer. He didn’t know anything that the other was asking and the knowing smile made it clear that Yu~ki had won this battle.
“He likes music,” Kami replied, drawing on what he had seen in Gackt’s dorm. “A variety of bands from X Japan to the classics.”
“Does he play an instrument?” Yu~ki asked. Again, Kami couldn’t answer.
“Fine, I get your point,” Kami said with a sigh. “I should have gotten to know him better. Is that what you want me to say?”
“I suppose it won’t be so bad, if you learn more about him now you’ve given him everything,” Yu~ki relented. “He better not be ghosting you!”
“Ghosting?” Kami repeated.
“Ignoring your messages and calls.” Yu~ki explained.
“Oh no!” Kami said, glad that he at least had this to share. “Quite the opposite. He contacted me first, after I ran away from his dorm. Don’t look at me like that, I panicked OK? I didn’t know how to handle the morning, so I snuck off while he slept but he must have woken up. Anyway, I’m seeing him Sunday afternoon.”
“You snuck out?” Yu~ki asked, wearing a huge grin. It seemed their disagreement was already forgotten, now all that remained was to keep the truly private parts from his prying friend.
Kami sat on top of a wall, his wings absorbing the heat of the autumn sun as he waited for Gackt to arrive. He was early but hadn’t been able to wait much longer to meet Gackt here. To his surprise it was Gackt’s friend You who arrived first, waving at Kami who flew off the wall to join the Horse-Kin on the floor below. There were some similarities between the two Horse-Kin, both had the slightly wider front teeth and a strong confident present but that was about where the similarities stopped. You’s hair was as blond as Gackt’s had been black, cut shorter and his tail ended around his knees, where Gackt’s wasn’t far from the floor. You was an untamed stallion, wild and free, Gackt was a show horse, bred to perfection, graceful and sleek. Had You been human, Kami would have considered him dangerous. No, had You not seemed pleased to see him he would be afraid right now. At least he could fly, it was all he could do if the other showed aggression.
“You fly to me, and away from Gackt?” You asked, startling Kami. Had Gackt shared that he had run away? “Don’t look so surprised, you think nobody in the dorm saw you leave?”
“The red-haired man.” Kami remembered, he’d been coming in the door as he left and had to be the one who had told.
“I don’t know who saw you, just that someone did,” You answered. “It’s made you famous. Nobody has run away from Gackt before.”
“The news has got around,” Kami relented, his smile failing. “People are saying horrible things now. They think Gackt cheated on you with me.”
“If they think that they’re stupid, most are just jealous.” You corrected. “Still, perhaps you might need to hear it from me that you did nothing wrong?”
“It helps.” Kami admitted. He’d been starting to believe the things been said about him, wondering if Gackt might have lied.
“I thought so,” You said, “Gackt didn’t want me to talk to you but I found out about your date and he’s always late so I thought I’d keep you company.”
“He was late to the party,” Kami remembered. “That’s typical of him?”
“Uh huh,” You said. “So before he comes, is there anything you want me to ask?”
“How do you do it?” Kami asked. “Not get jealous that your boyfriend takes home other guys, supports him even?”
“Because I behave the same way,” You answered. “I understand what it’s like to need multiple lovers in your life. How what you have with one man isn’t the same as with another, so why limit yourself? A lot of male animals take on multiple partners, a herd of horses led by a stallion, a pride of lions led by a male or sometimes two. We Other-Kin need to accept the animal part of us, for Gackt and I, polyamory is part of who we are.”
“Swans mate for life though.” Kami commented, remembering Gackt mentioning his other partner.
“He told you about Hyde?” You asked shocked. “Already?”
“He mentioned a Swan-Kin, nothing more.” Kami answered.
“He comes and goes,” You said, after a long moment when it was like he wasn’t going to explain anything. “His soulmate, his words, is a woman that he adores. Mated for life, as you suggested he would, except he’s bisexual and that other lust he has, it’s directed exclusively at Gackt. So he is mated for life, one man, one woman. Though he pretends the part of him that wants Gackt doesn’t exist. He’s flighty, messes with Gackt’s heart and I hate him for it. If you want to call Gackt his, don’t play games. That’s what will make me angry.”
“I don’t even know what this is,” Kami said, “I can’t promise I won’t break his heart, or that he won’t break mine.”
“There’s a difference between a relationship that doesn’t work, and playing with someone’s emotions,” You reassured him. “Just be honest with him and if you can’t handle polyamory, walk away.”
“And if I can?” Kami asked. “If Gackt and I fall in love and he wants to spend just as much time with myself as you?”
“Then we’ll all be happy. Unless you steal my Friday nights with him, that’s my time. He’s the only one who can drink as much as me and still be able to function. I swear, in another life he would have been a Host.” You answered, his smile fading. They both knew that Other-Kin would never have such a career. They were accepted just as long as they kept their heads down, stayed in their special schools, lived in their own towns, integrating with normal humans as little as possible. They were freaks, not normal, monsters. No, not monsters, just different; Gackt’s words had power behind them, a message that he had needed to hear.
“You can have Friday.” Kami reassured the other, turning as he wondered what You had been looking at.
“Can he?” Gackt asked, giving You a look that made it clear what he felt about his two partners meeting. “You, what are you doing here?”
“Putting Kami’s mind at rest,” You answered, giving Gackt a kiss on the cheek. “Well, I’ve got to go.”
“You!” Gackt called after him, sighing and turning to Kami. “Everything Ok?”
“Yeah,” Kami replied, “Honestly, I’m glad I got to see him.”
“Oh?” Gackt said. Nodding Kami began to share the harassment he had received, the nasty words and just how relieved he was that You hadn’t been anything but kind. Gackt listened, shocked that people had been so cruel. “Do you regret what we did?”
“No,” Kami said, shaking his head firmly. “Not at all. I just… I guess I just didn’t know what to do, what anything meant and…. I ran away?”
“You ran away,” Gackt confirmed. “You had me so scared I’d done something to hurt you! Perhaps I should keep you on a lead, like you’re Dog-Kin or something. I know this one guy, that’s his kink you know.”
“You did nothing of the sort,” Kami promised. “Before I met you, I though we were all nothing but monsters, you have me doubting that. Even if it was just one night, I think that alone would make it worthwhile.”
“Nothing but monsters,” Gackt repeated. “You know, they do try to make us believe that. So many Other-Kin are full of self-hate but I refuse to accept it. Come on, I have something I want to show you.”
“You do?” Kami asked, gasping as Gackt began to lead them towards the campus gates. “You mean out there? In the human world? Are we even allowed to leave?”
“The gate isn’t locked, is it?” Gackt said, grinning as he took Kami’s hand. “And I won’t let you run away this time.”
“I won’t run!” Kami reassured him, his heart pounding as they approached the invisible barrier that had kept him in these walls. He was going to leave the university! Just wait until Yu~ki found out! What would the Seal-Kin think when he told him? Probably that he had gone mad, Kami couldn’t blame him. He was starting to believe that he was mad himself. Why else would he sleep with a guy he hardly met and follow him out of the safety of the campus walls?
The second surprise had been that Gackt owned a motorbike, a beast of a machine that had Kami nervous at sight alone. As he watched, Gackt got on, moving his tail between his legs so that it was out of the way.
“Does it hurt, to sit on your tail?” Kami asked, as he accepted the helmet and got on behind the other.
“Like lying on an arm, uncomfortable after awhile but not painful,” Gackt explained. “And only at the part that had a bone beneath. The rest is like sitting on hair.”
“I hope my wings don’t catch an uplift,” Kami worried, keeping his wings strictly pressed together as he wrapped his arms tightly around Gackt. “I may just fly away!”
“No fast roads, I promise.” Gackt said, kicking the kickstand up on the bike and taking off. It wasn’t fast, Kami gave him that, but it felt like they were travelling a million miles an hour. He was free! That’s what it felt like as they left the university behind them. He hadn’t even felt like he was trapped there before he had left. He was an adult who had never left his home alone, even as a normal kid, his friends joined him on the way to school. He silently promised himself he would no longer stay in the university all the time. He would leave those gates whenever he got a chance, just to walk in the outside world. That would be enough.
Perhaps fifteen minutes later, Gackt was parking his motorbike in a carpark and they both dismounted with ease. Stretching his wings, Kami noticed they were being watched by a couple of human men, though they said nothing. Perhaps this town was used to university students visiting? Gackt could hardly be the only one.
“The shops are this way.” Gackt explained, leading Kami down a footpath that sure enough led to a large village shopping centre. Kami, who had only ever bought things online for himself, gasped as he saw the items on display. He remembered this, it felt like another lifetime.
“Do the people not mind that we’re here?” Kami asked, noticing two Otter-Kin down the street.
“Yes and no,” Gackt answered. “Those who care tend to stay away. A few shops welcome us, we’re customers after all, others lock their doors when we approach. It’s a risk, I know, but I think if you could meet just one human who was kind to you…”
“It would help me see myself as just different?” Kami finished. Even as he said it, the sweet shop door was locked as they approached. It really was a gamble, but Gackt seemed to know where they could go. They entered a book shop first, where Gackt was greeted politely by the owner. Not friendly, not hostile, it was already more than Kami had hoped. He wandered aimlessly, not sure what he was looking for but enjoying being here.
Once done, he found Gackt looking through some books full off sheet music for a variety of musical stage shows, he seemed to have picked one out already, the music for a show named Wicked.
“I saw this and thought of you.” Gackt teased quietly. Kami gave him a look that was part amused and part horrified.
“The green skin would suit you more!” Kami protested, glad that Gackt choose to laugh at the insult. He really didn’t know this man, did he? Perhaps today was about finding out.
“Who’s ever heard of a green horse?” Gackt asked, leaving Kami to go and pay for the book before they left. It was so normal to be shopping like this, yet so alien to Kami who could hardly remember shopping with the young boys who had once been his friends. He wondered what they were doing, but pushed the thoughts aside. It didn’t matter. He was Other-Kin and they were not.
They moved along the shops, entering a couple before finally making their way to the river side where the Otter-Kin had been before. There were no signs of them now, just the gentle sounds of the river and birds singing. Silently Kami walked by Gackt’s side, remembering what Yu~ki had said to him. He didn’t know Gackt, even today he hadn’t tried to find out a single thing about him.
“You play an instrument, don’t you?” Kami asked, it was a stupid question after Gackt had bought the book but it broke the silence.
“Most of them,” Gackt answered, not boasting, just being honest. “But it’s the piano that I play mostly.”
“Is that your what you’re studying?” Kami asked.
“No, I’m studying English, it’s pretty easy for Other-Kin to get jobs as translators and I enjoy learning languages.” Gackt answered. “You?”
“Japanese history,” Kami answered. “Uesugi Kenshin, Takeda Shingen, Oda Nobunaga, all the big names. I just love samurai. I have no idea what I’m going to do after I get my degree.”
“I’m sure you’ll find a use for it,” Gackt replied. “Historical dramas are always popular and there’s jobs as fact checkers or script writers, things like that.”
“It’s an idea,” Kami agreed. He hadn’t considered getting into the entertainment industry, though now the idea had been offered to him it reminded him of the stories he used to write as a child. “Are you in any clubs?”
“What is this?” Gackt asked. “Why all of these questions?”
“My roommate, Yu~ki, was asking me these things and I couldn’t answer…” Kami tried to explain, realising Gackt didn’t like this answer. “But it’s not like I didn’t want to know for myself! I barely know you, I just thought…”
“These kinds of things don’t tell you anything about me,” Gackt retorted. “They’re mundane things, you know someone by spending time with them. Learning how to react to different situations, watching what makes them smile, what makes them laugh.”
“What makes them angry?” Kami suggested, Gackt seemed so annoyed.
“I’m not angry,” Gackt reassured him. “It’s just, if we’re to talk I want to have a real conversation.”
“Fine,” Kami said. “Let’s have a real conversation then!”
“Sure.” Gackt said, but neither having anything of note to say they remained quiet, walking silently beside the river until Gackt reached for a strand of Kami’s hair. With a grin he showed his treasure to its owner, who in return reached for Gackt’s tail. The hair here was thicker than that on someone’s head, but it was still soft.
“Hey!” Gackt protested, letting go of Kami’s hair to protect his own. Laughing the couple began to claim each other’s hair, escaping and coming back for more again and again. It was stupid and childish but Kami began to see what Gackt had meant. This was a better way to learn about the other than any questions.
“The butterfly came back?” A surprised voice asked, startling the couple who looked over at the pair of Other-Kin who had just stepped on the path from a nearby picnic spot. He hadn’t even realised they weren’t alone. He recognised this man, it was the red-haired cat who he had rushed past the night he had spent with Gackt. Up close, he could see that the bright red hair was dyed as black and ginger roots were beginning to show. His cat ears were the same ginger and black as his natural hair and like Yu~ki he had whiskers. Behind him was a tail in the same colouration. His friend or partner, it wasn’t clear, had bright orange-red scales on his upper arms, the same colour as the hair that grew on his head, when he blinked his eye lids moved horizontally in a rather off-putting fashion. A Lizard-Kin of some sort, he was truly creepy to Kami, it was something in the way he so openly stared.
“Of course he did,” Gackt retorted, “Kami, this is my friend Közi and his friend Ash.”
“Hi.” Kami said nervously. The cat, Közi, smiled at him, though Ash remained staring at him.
“Hey!” Közi greeted him. Exchanging a few pleasantries, the pair left the couple in peace, though Ash hadn’t said a single word.
“Ash isn’t your friend, is he?” Kami asked. “You introduced him as Közi’s?”
“He’s creepy,” Gackt answered. “And I’m not easily creeped out.”
“It’s the way he stares!” Kami exclaimed. “Can he talk?”
“Yeah, he does sometimes. I think the colder air is making him sleepy,” Gackt replied. “You’re not cold, are you? I forget that your back is always exposed.”
“It’s warm enough today,” Kami replied, following Gackt into the picnic area where they sat on one of the picnic tables. “You know, thanks to you and your motorbike my hair is a right mess.”
“Well so is my tail and that can be a nightmare to brush!” Gackt retorted. “You’re not so innocent.”
“Whoever said I was?” Kami teased, giving Gackt a tender kiss before he pulled back to make sure nobody had seen. As he did, his attention was captured by a ladybird that had landed not far from where they sat. Gently he got the ladybird on his finger, placing it in the bushes and turning to find Gackt was staring at him. Unlike Ash this wasn’t a piercing stare that set his nerves on edge. It was a look of pure admiration and love. He felt naked before Gackt’s gaze, as if being basked by the sun itself. What had he done to deserve such tender affection?
“You are simply the most adorable man I have ever met,” Gackt said, his tone deadly serious. “Truly, you are beautiful inside and out.”
“I’m a mons-, Other-Kin!” Kami exclaimed. “I can’t be beautiful!”
“No,” Gackt corrected. “You are. Those stunning wings, that kind smile, your tender heart. All of it is beautiful. I would very much like to keep you in my life, but I’m not sure a man like me deserves you. I’d never be yours alone, you understand that, right?”
“I understand,” Kami reassured him. “And you’re quite wrong. I should be asking what I’ve done to deserve you! You’re confident and always know the right thing to say! I’m just a shy guy trying to make it through, you seem to have it all figured out. Wise beyond your years.”
“I’m an obnoxious, arrogant, rebel,” Gackt corrected, as Kami shook his head. Perhaps Gackt was a rebel with an ego but he certainly wasn’t obnoxious. He kissed Gackt again, wrapping his arms around the other as they embraced.
“Get out of here, you freaks!” A man’s voice called out, startling the couple. He carried a gun, much to Kami’s horror. He’d never seen a gun in real life before and it was far scarier than he realised the weapon could be. Did this man mean to shoot them?
“We’re leaving,” Gackt said firmly to the man, silently walking beside Kami to the river path. The whole time he kept his body so that Kami was further away from the man, shielding him from potential harm. Neither man relaxed until they had reached the carpark, where several people were around. “I’m sorry, I knew it was a gamble taking you here. I never imagined something like that would happen though.”
“He probably didn’t mean to shoot.” Kami said, surely the man knew they were human, or at very least had human emotions?
“Probably. I guess this hasn’t changed your mind about what you are?” Gackt said, sounding defeated. Once again, Gackt was wrong.
“No,” Kami corrected, remembering the look Gackt had given him before. “You’ve changed my mind, just a little.”
“A little?” Gackt repeated. “Well then, I have a long way to go. I guess that means you need to be my boyfriend? I can’t have you leaving before I’ve finished teaching you how wonderful you are!”
“I’d like that,” Kami said shyly. “Just one thing; Friday evenings belong to You.”
“So, he thinks.” Gackt joked, but they both knew that with this one request, You would unquestionably be getting his own way.
Chapter 4: Chapter 3: Coming to an Agreement
Stepping back into the university campus felt a little like stepping back into a trap. He was a butterfly who had spent his whole life in a butterfly house, only to have now tasted freedom. Still, he pushed the thoughts of freedom aside as he followed Gackt to his dorm. The other had promised him dinner, what he got was a handful of menus to choose from.
“If you wanted to seduce me, you should cook.” Kami scolded, faking disappointment.
“Trust me, that wouldn’t seduce you,” Gackt answered, “But your cooking may seduce me.”
“No need, my wings did the work,” Kami corrected, “Let’s order from here.”
“Pizza? You, little butterfly, are nothing but predictable,” Gackt replied, pulling out his phone. “What do you want?”
“We’re pretty much the same height!” Kami protested, his eye’s narrowing. “Unless you’re referring to something else?”
“Something else,” Gackt replied. “Ego! Don’t look so mad!”
“It wasn’t ego,” Kami answered, giving Gackt a disapproving look. He was sure Gackt hadn’t meant anything at all by calling him little, but it was fun to watch his reaction to his words. “You’re going to mock me again.”
“Pepperoni pizza it is.” Gackt replied, dialling the number and leaving Kami to entertain himself. He’d been here before of course, but this time he took his time to truly look around at Gackt’s possessions. He stopped at a framed photo on the bookshelf, it was the only photo in the dorm and to Kami’s surprise it was a human woman that Gackt had his arm around.
“Your sister?” Kami asked, as Gackt hung up the phone. “She’s beautiful.”
“Truly she is,” Gackt replied. “Like you, her beauty comes from inside.”
“There’s no photos here of you with anyone else?” Kami questioned.
“I suppose it’s time for the talk,” Gackt said, leading Kami to the sofa. “The truth is, I compartmentalise my relationships. When I’m with You, he’s all I think about, the same can be said about you and…”
“Hyde.” Kami finished, if Gackt was surprised he knew the name, he didn’t show it.
“I was going to say, that’s why there are no photos. I don’t like to ruin the special time I share with those I care for.” Gackt corrected.
“I get that,” Kami replied. As much as Gackt clearly loved You, he appreciated that the other’s name was mentioned in their conversations together. “You split your time. Is that why you’re so keen to make the moments matter?”
“I don’t know, I’ve never thought about it,” Gackt answered. “But it’s true, a lack of time and jealousy are what can so often rip apart a polyamorous relationship.”
“And money can be an issue too.” Kami added, “What? I googled it!”
“I’m paid to stay away, money isn’t a concern,” Gackt reassured him. Perhaps not, but if Kami found a second partner then things would certainly change. Well it wasn’t like he was going to start dating two men! Just Gackt was enough, even if he was a part time boyfriend. “I’ll spoil you.”
“I can believe that,” Kami agreed, turning a dining chair sideways so that he could sit down without damaging his wings. “But you’ll just leave me wanting to spoil you. I’m sure that can get expensive.”
“I told you, you just need to cook for me!” Gackt retorted, making Kami laugh. Gackt was serious and it wasn’t a bad idea but he’d still want to buy the other gifts. The horse sat down on the sofa, one leg crossed over the other to shift his weight to one side. Was this how he preferred to sit? It seemed to release weight from his tail.
“You just want a mother> Someone to cook and clean up after you?” Kami retorted, “In that case, let me brush your tail!”
“You really want to?” Gackt asked, but Kami was already heading to the bedroom to find a hair brush. The other didn’t protest when he was ordered to stand up, so Kami dropped to his knees and began to untangle the long hairs. It was nice to care for another like this, but more than wanting to do a favour, he wanted to get used to this part of Gackt that wasn’t human. As he brushed, he allowed his hand to run along the bone that was inside the top quarter of the tail. It was narrow and thin, covered in flesh and fur but obviously there. Intrigued he ran his finger near the base of the length, brushing Gackt’s exposed skin where his trousers opened to allow the tail to fall free. There was a button at the top, if he undid it….
“The pizza is coming,” Gackt reminded him, gently stepped away. “As much as I want to know where this tail brushing was going, now probably isn’t the time.”
“Perhaps not.” Kami agreed, moving the brush to Gackt’s hair, so that he could work through the tangles there. They stayed like this until the food arrived, Gackt taking a turn to brush Kami’s hair as they talked about silly little things. He was beginning to understand Gackt now, how far he could tease, how childish he could be, what topics to avoid. It was like they had lived a thousand lifetimes together, that was how comfortable he felt with the stallion by his side.
The knock on the door broke the mood and rather reluctantly Gackt let the delivery man into the room. Kami recognised him from one of his lectures, a friendly Rabbit-Kin who greeted him warmly the moment he was recognised. It was only as he was leaving that Kami understand why the Rabbit had been so nice, he was almost certainly in some kind of polyamorous relationship himself.
“You know him?” Gackt asked.
“Kind of, he’s studying Japanese history too,” Kami explained. “His names Daigo, I think.”
“Daigo, huh?” Gackt repeated. “I’ve seen him around here before.”
“Well we do all go to the same university.” Kami answered, helping himself to a slice of his favourite pizza as Gackt once again went to his mini-fridge, this time the drink that was offered wasn’t alcoholic and he accepted it happily. He wasn’t scared of drinking alcohol underaged, but perhaps now wasn’t the time?
“That’s true,” Gackt answered, though when Kami glanced at him, he seemed deep in thought. For a moment Kami worried the other might be interested in Daigo but he pushed the thought aside, Gackt hadn’t shown any signs of attraction and so what if he did? The other had made it clear he wouldn’t be the only one, he just selfishly wished that it was just You who shared him. And Hyde? “It must be tough, studying and working a job.”
“Lots of people do it,” Kami reminded him, “There’s been times when I thought I might have to as well.”
“Doesn’t make it any easier,” Gackt said, “You are Ok right, financially?”
“My Dad got a promotion at work, it’s fine.” Kami reassured him, embarrassed to admit how his family struggled. They hadn’t really had a choice but to send him away, the suburban community he had grown up in simply would not have accepted him. It was for his own good, he couldn’t deny that, and his mother still cared for him as her son. He was an expense on his parents though, just another reason why his father had grown to resent him. The whole family had to watch every yen because he had become a monster.
“Are you sure?” Gackt asked, he must have noticed Kami’s sadness.
“Yes,” Kami answered firmly. “It’s just… my family would be a lot better off without a monstrous son.”
“You have a brother?” Gackt asked. “Because you certainly can’t be saying that about yourself!”
“You know what I meant,” Kami answered. “What other’s say about people like us. That we’re immoral, grotesque, not fit to be around normal humans. Since I met you, I’ve begun to doubt what I’ve been told but still, to my father I’m a monster who drains the family resources by simply existing.”
“Well that’s your father’s problem,” Gackt said firmly. “Your parents choose to have a child, knowing that at thirteen there was a chance you would be different. They can’t just turn around and blame their children for not conforming to what they want!”
“You’ve been hurt to,” Kami said, resting a comforting hand on Gackt’s arms. “I’m sorry, for bringing up this subject.”
“You know what the most frustrating part is?” Gackt asked, “My parents actually accept that I’m Horse-Kin. When I was thirteen and changed, they were nothing but compassionate. I had a private tutor, lived at home, had a bodyguard when I went into town. Then at fifteen I met another boy around my own age, he was beautiful and so funny but he was human and his parents hated me. It made it hard, I thought my parents would be more accepting but the moment my father learnt I had feelings for someone of the same gender I was sent away. At first I thought he was keeping the boys parent’s happy, not to cause a scene as it were, but my parents never talk to me. I get a monthly allowance from them, my education fully paid for and silence. If I ask for something, I get it, but only if it’s something that can be bought.”
“Gackt…” Kami began, but what could he say to make things better?
“It sucks, I know,” Gackt reassured him. “But I don’t need sympathy. The majority of the students here are in a similar situation, though it’s the way they look that broke family ties. I have You to love me, but now I wonder if one day I’d also have you?”
“You have my affection,” Kami promised. “I don’t care that you’re Other-Kin, or that you like men, in fact the second part is more than beneficial for me.”
“It certainly is,” Gackt said, giving Kami his devilish smile. “You have no idea just how beneficial my sexuality is to you.”
Flirting with Gackt was easy, just a step up from teasing each other, and Kami had no reservations about accepting Gackt’s advances. When the pizza was finished and Gackt led him into the bedroom Kami thought nothing of allowing Gackt to remove his shirt. He wanted this as much as Gackt did, which was why he was surprised when Gackt’s request came of so innocently.
“You want to touch my wings?” Kami asked. His instincts screamed at him to say no, but Gackt has asked so nicely, with promises to be careful.
“I have a theory I’d like to test.” Gackt said, it explained nothing. Reaching out, Gackt gently ran a finger over the top of one of his wings. It didn’t hurt, quite the opposite in fact. Nervously Kami let his wings unfold, allowing Gackt to gently trace the patterns that decorated them.
“And do you have your answer?” Kami asked.
“Yes, it’s as I thought,” Gackt said. “Your wings are highly sensitive, which means if I touch them just right, I can bring you a whole world of pleasure. Can I? I’ll make it worth your while.”
“You let me brush your tail.” Kami relented. Pleased with the answer, Gackt continued to trace the wings patterns. More than the pleasure, it was Gackt’s focus that made Kami feel so aroused. That intense stare of unfiltered admiration, the lustful smile that played on Gackt’s lips, once again Kami felt like he was truly been looked at by a man who appreciated everything he had to show.
Wordlessly Gackt moved to stand in front of him, kissing Kami desperately before dropping to his knees like a man worshiping a deity. Kami blushed despite himself, unable to see why Gackt saw him in such a positive light but not wanting to do anything that could change his mind.
“What are you doing?” Kami nervously asked, as the other began to undress him. It was a stupid question, he knew exactly what was happening, he was just surprised that it was.
“Making it worth your while.” Gackt reminded him. This was an act Kami hadn’t been able to do, but Gackt seemed to have no hesitation as he wrapped his mouth around Kami’s hard length. The stallion had done this on purpose! Turned him on so that he could show off his oral skills. Kami wondered if this was a manipulation tactic, so that he would feel like he needed to return the favour but he pushed the thought aside. Gackt was doing this because he wanted to, that much was clear, and neither of them were the type to just do something they didn’t want to because they were asked. It was the one thing that they had in common, a trait that they admired in each other.
His wings fluttered and he focused on holding them still so as not to fly away from the source of this bliss. His focus helped him hold on, to not cum to fast, a serious risk considering how great Gackt was at this! He was practised and Kami found that he didn’t mind the idea. He didn’t mind what Gackt did with others, as long as they could have moments like this. Shutting his eyes, he lost himself to the pleasure, trapped in the world of Gackt’s oral embrace.
He came harder that they both had expected, Gackt carefully washing his mouth with water so as not to swallow. That surprised Kami, as he had been so keen to do this, but Gackt didn’t seem disgusted by the taste.
“You were a virgin that first night?” Gackt asked, making Kami blush. “And there’s been no others?”
“I…” Kami began nervously. Was he being judged? Had he done something wrong?
“I should have used a condom, even for this. I need to know if I’m the only man you’ve been with.” Gackt explained. So, it was about safety? Of course there would be a far higher risk of infection if you lived Gackt’s lifestyle.
“I should be clean,” Kami reassured him. Gackt nodded, looking relieved by the news. “Could you tell?”
“At the time, no,” Gackt answered. “But then I began to wonder. You were just so innocent? There was something about you anyway. Perhaps it was just the image I wanted in my mind?”
“Too dirty someone who is pure?” Kami teased, kissing Gackt eagerly but surprised when the other refused to allow him to continue further.
“Not now, this was about your pleasure, not mine.” Gackt gently scolded him.
“But I want to make you feel as good as you made me feel!” Kami protested.
“Save it,” Gackt encouraged. “My sister owns a cabin not far from here and You is going to be busy next weekend. Let’s go there together? Then you can make me feel as good as you just promised.”
“A weekend away?” Kami asked, smiling at the idea. “I won’t object to that.”
“Then it’s agreed.” Gackt declared, kissing Kami to seal the deal.
“Butterfly Boy!” A man called as he made to leave the dorms where Gackt lived. Turning Kami found Gackt’s friend Közi rushing to join him. At least this time he was alone, he didn’t know how he would face Közi if Ash was with him, Közi was dressed creepily enough by himself.
“Yes?” Kami asked, as they walked out of the building together.
“You’re perfect!” Közi declared. “How do you fancy being a model?”
“A model?” Kami repeated, stunned. “You may have noticed, I’m not human.”
“Really?” Közi asked. “I have to say, that news has blown me away. The man with huge butterfly wings isn’t human? Next you’d be saying I was an Asian Leopard cat!”
“Of course, I wouldn’t say such crazy things,” Kami said, finally understanding why Közi didn’t behave like the other Cat-Kin he knew. He was no tame pet. “But that doesn’t answer why you think I can be a model.”
“You’re beautiful enough to catch the sights of this dorm’s prized stallion,” Közi reminded him. “Rich, handsome, eccentric… you’ve certainly caught yourself a good ride.”
“A good ride?” Kami asked, growing embarrassed by what Közi meant by that. “Are you mocking me?”
“No, quite the opposite,” Közi reassured him. “Let me explain, my roommate Mana needs models for the clothes he’s designing. He’s studying fashion or something, I forgot to pay attention when he told me originally.”
“You don’t live in this dorm?” Kami asked.
“No way!” Közi answered. “I’m more likely to live in a car than with these rich men! Anyway, will you do it?”
“I don’t know,” Kami said. “Are you sure that Mana would want me?”
“Yes!” Közi exclaimed. “Look, he’s really shy and doesn’t talk to just anyone so he may not say a word to you, but he asked me to find models for him. He makes clothes for those of us who are different and he’ll let you keep the clothes as payment when he’d done with this part of his course. I think he needs to hold onto the clothes for a little while. Come on! Please? You’ll be helping another student with his education.”
“I guess if it’s just part of a student’s project and nothing too serious I could.” Kami relented, warming to Közi now. The other may look creepy but his personality seemed genuine and kind.
“Awesome!” Közi declared. Taking Kami’s phone number so that Mana could message him when he was ready to meet. They parted ways quickly, the evening air growing colder by the minute which didn’t suit Kami at all. He just wanted to get home to his warm dorm, where he could tell Yu~ki all about the day he just had. Yu~ki would hardly believe that he was going to be a model!
“Well obviously they’d ask you,” Yu~ki responded to Kami’s news. “Why are you so surprised?”
“What do you mean, they’d obviously ask me?” Kami asked. “Do you think this is a trap and I look like an easy target?”
“You have a handsome face and pretty wings,” Yu~ki answered. “The right clothes, make-up and a photographer who knows what they’re doing…. Yes, you could easily be a model for clothes designed for Other-Kin.”
“Everyone is complimenting me on my looks today,” Kami said, taking a seat on his bed. “I swear, this is more compliments than I’ve ever had in my life!”
“People probably just assumed that you already knew. I mean, we do own a mirror.” Yu~ki reminded him.
“Did you want to model? I could ask…” Kami began.
“No!” Yu~ki corrected. “Just no, I really don’t think that’s a good idea. This Közi choose you, let’s leave it at that.”
“If you’re sure.” Kami answered, just as a text from an unknown number came through. Mana. He read the text, sending the requested photo of himself as Yu~ki excitedly encouraged him to be more revealing. Having agreed to meet Mana the next day, after his last lecture, Kami put down his phone.
“So, how does your horse feel about this?” Yu~ki asked. It was clear he didn’t like Gackt, but Kami ignored the other’s attitude.
“He doesn’t know, I was asked as I was leaving,” Kami explained. “I’ll tell him later. By the way I know what he’s studying now.”
“That was first date stuff!” Yu~ki complained. “This was second date, has he begun to open up to you about his past?”
“Yes,” Kami declared, surprising Yu~ki. “He’s told me lots of things, personal things even that I won’t share. This is a real relationship, even if you don’t think so.”
“The guy has two boyfriends at once,” Yu~ki reminded Kami. “Forgive me if I don’t like that…”
“You don’t have to like him, but you need to accept I care for him.” Kami interrupted. With a sigh Yu~ki agreed to be kinder towards the Horse-Kin, though it was still obvious that Yu~ki thought very little of Gackt.
As Közi had warned, Mana hadn’t said a word to him besides the text messages that had been sent between them. It made him relieved that Közi was in the room, pretending to mind his own business but frequently making comments and jokes. Several times Mana had whispered things to Közi to tell Kami, which Kami found rather charming. He was usually the one intimidated in the presence by others, it was strange to be in the reverse situations.
“Mana wants to try one of his designs on you.” Közi explained, as Mana appeared with some garment made out of a warm fleece. Agreeably Kami removed his top, allowing Mana to place the fabric in the right position to be tied behind his back. The other’s skin was warm to the touch, the fabric soft against his skin. It was nice to have a man care for him like this, Kami thought as he pulled his hair out of the way. The Gazelle-Kin was elegant and graceful in everything he did, possessing a quiet authority as if his very presence demanded to be observed. It was no wonder he had gotten into fashion; Mana seemed the type to not mind watchful eyes. Yet he was so shy, it was a strange contradiction but somehow, when it was Mana, it made sense.
To his surprise he realised that he was warm, the fleece material had been wrapped around his back in such a way that only the wings were exposed. He hadn’t felt his back covered in over five years, the sensation was strange but not unwanted.
Looking at his creation, Mana shook his head and went to pick up a drawing pad and frantically began to draw. He wasn’t happy with his creation, though Kami saw nothing wrong with what he was wearing. Eventually Mana showed him the image he had just drawn, it was Kami in a similar garment but one that was far more flattering. Beneath it was a request for him to return once these new clothes were made.
“Yeah, of course.” Kami agreed, it was the first time Mana had smiled. A quick upturn of the lips before his stoic expression returned. This man was an enigma, his personality almost impossible to read. It made Kami curious, though it was clear now that Mana was done with him. Nervously he asked if he could keep the top, the designer giving him a quick nod of his horned head before seeming to forget Kami was there at all. He’d been dismissed then? The visit was shorter than he had expected but he certainly had things to discuss with Yu~ki, though part of him didn’t feel like telling his roommate anything anymore. He was still annoyed that Yu~ki felt he could judge his relationship with Gackt so cruelly. Gackt, who had been nothing but loving and supportive towards him. Gackt, who refused to see Other-Kin as monsters. Gackt, who made him feel so very much alive. Lost in thoughts of his lover, Kami decided to take a walk outside the campus grounds. He now had a lovely fleece top to keep him warm, this winter was going to be the best one he had ever had and it was all thanks to the new men in his life.
Chapter 5: Chapter 4: The Cabin in the Woods
“Kamimura, can you stay to talk for a little while?” The professor asked as Kami was leaving the lecture. Not too surprised, Kami agreed to stay. This professor had called him aside to encourage him to take part in extra curricular activities before, so he assumed it was something like that.
“Another idea for the Christmas festival?” Kami asked, surprised to see the professor wasn’t smiling.
“Not quite,” The professor answered. “It’s just that I noticed you leaving the campus the other day?”
“That’s not forbidden, the gates aren’t even closed.” Kami replied. If he was in trouble, he was going to play the innocent, he was good at that.
“Not it’s not,” The professor said carefully, “Only, you were with Camui?”
“We’re friends…” Kami said carefully, surprised that his teacher didn’t even like that answer.
“Camui and his friends are trouble, all of them. I wouldn’t like a nice kid like you getting involved.” The professor explained. Alarmed, as he did trust the professor, Kami decided to listen to his words.
“Trouble?” He repeated. “Gackt and his friends have never been nothing but nice to me.”
“They’re rebels who flaunt the rules just enough that we can’t actually do anything about it,” the professor explained. “I wouldn’t like you to be involved. Especially if they decide to ask you to join their night activities.”
“Night activities?” Kami repeated, beginig to worry about what the professor was going to tell him. What did bad kids do at night? Drugs perhaps?
“They have sexual relations with multiple people at once,” The professor answered, “They have some fancy word for it, poly-something? They don’t stick to their own kind, which is disturbing enough, but they seem to care nothing for gender either.”
“I see,” Kami replied. Gackt’s parents had been more concerned about his homosexuality that anything else too. “I don’t think that love is bad, no matter who it’s with. Well not children, but adults…”
“Love has rules,” The professor corrected. “A flying insect like you needs to find a girl with the same affliction. That’s how things have always worked between our kind. I know a man like you wouldn’t fall for their attempts at seduction but really you don’t want to be associated with that group. I’ve been told about the dance as well, I am shocked Kamimura. You always were such a good student.”
“Professor,” Kami said, surprised to hear his own anger in the way he spoke. “You have no right to tell me who I can and can’t be friends with. As it is, this butterfly has chosen a stallion and as it’s not illegal or against school rules, there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“I can..” The professor began.
“Alter my grades? Make me fail?” Kami asked. “I’ll have you fired for unfair treatment. I should report you for saying this to me!”
“Kamimura!” The professor exclaimed, but Kami was already storming out. How could the teacher be so cruel? So ignorant? So hateful! His anger carried him down the corridor but he began to shake as it faded away. What if the professor truly tried to fail him for being in a relationship with Gackt?
“Kami?” A man’s voice asked as he approached. “Are you ok?”
“Mana?” Kami said, surprised to see the Gazelle-Kin join him. The other hadn’t spoken before, but clearly seeing him so upset had given Mana confidence. He didn’t say anything else, simply leading Kami to a nearby seat so that Kami could explain what’s wrong. “I have a boyfriend and my professor has told me I shouldn’t be dating him.”
“Love is love,” Mana answered. “Unless he has a valid reason, he needs to stay away.”
“That’s pretty much what I told him,” Kami reassured Mana. “You don’t seem surprised to learn I’m gay?”
“It’s obvious,” Mana said bemused. “Besides, I’m sure you can tell I have the same preferences. Affliction is what my parents call it, but I’m not sure if that has to do with my sexuality.”
“Why is it that every student here has had a parent give up on them?” Kami said with a sigh.
“Because we’re not like them, we’re Other-Kin which means we’ll always be different to them. On top of that, we’re attracted to the same gender and on top of that I’m…”
“On top of that?” Kami asked. “It’s ok, you can tell me. I won’t judge.”
“I’m not sure what gender I am,” Mana said quietly. “Sometimes I think I’m a woman, sometimes it’s both. This body of mine, it’s wrong in so many ways….”
“Mana,” Kami said gently, “It’s ok not to know. Take your time and figure it out. Express both genders until you know which one fits. Even if it has to be in private. It seems this place is full of ignorant fools.”
“You’re not appalled?” Mana asked.
“No, why would I be?” Kami asked. This time Mana’s smile lasted more than a moment and he found himself smiling back. In this world there were people who judged and people who accepted, he vowed he would remain the second until the day he died.
As Mana had to go to his lecture, Kami headed to the library to study for a few hours. He still felt a little shaken by his professor but he tried his best to push the thought aside. The professor was out of line and he could request a different one if things really went bad. With this plan in mind, he found the textbook he wanted and went to sit down. There he spotted Gackt, in casual clothes and wearing glasses, reading a text book. Gackt was so handsome like this, perhaps even more so than when he made an effort.
He wondered what he should do. Was he supposed to talk to Gackt outside their dates? Deciding not to risk it, he went to sit at another table, sure he had made the right decision when he saw You approaching Gackt. It was their time together, should he leave the library? It was a public place though and he did need to study.
He opened the text book and retrieved a notepad, only to hear the sounds of someone joining him at the table. He glanced up and saw You and Gackt had both joined him here. Had he made a mistake? He should have left.
“You can say hello you know,” Gackt teased him. “Even if you know You and I are on a date, you don’t have to pretend there’s nothing between us.”
“I didn’t know.” Kami said, feeling bad now. Gackt was right, he could have said hello.
“Gackt sucks at explaining things, he thinks everything is obvious,” You explained. “Think of it this way. When you’ve arranged time with Gackt, he’s your boyfriend, the rest of the time think of him as your friend. Come over and say hi, judge the moment.”
“So right now I’m a friend?” Kami asked. “But how do I know I’m not intruding…”
“Because I’m studying,” Gackt retorted. “This isn’t a date, you just need to read the room.”
“It’s not always so easy!” Kami protested, but Gackt was giving him a mocking smile and he knew his words weren’t being heard. It seemed Gackt was serious about wanting to study, so he settled into his own work and did his best to focus on the text. He was reading about samurai having relationship with other men he realised, quickly turning the page. He didn’t need to read about that right now, it was hardly new information anyway.
“Kami, are you all right?” You asked a few minutes later. “You’re crying?”
“I’m fine.” Kami said, but neither man believed it. Nervously he shared what the professor had said to him, how scared he was that it might affect his grades. Like Mana, the two men with him were nothing but sympathetic and supportive.
“There is one concern I have,” Gackt said once Kami had calmed down. “This won’t be the first time someone is going to judge you for being with me. It’s not easy being in a polyamorous relationship at times, society at large doesn’t understand. Not even here, in a campus full of Other-Kin who secretly want what we have. Are you sure you can handle this?”
“Yes,” Kami said stubbornly. “Really, it’s just because he’s my professor that I’m so concerned.”
“That professor can go to hell!” You said angrily. “He can eat the dirt there and…”
“Keep your voice down,” Gackt scolded. “Though You is right, you should request another professor before he tries anything to hurt you. Do you want me to come with you?”
“Guys it’s ok,” Kami reassured them. “I’ll see how things go. There’s no need to worry.”
“I do.” Gackt said simply but he let the matter drop and returned to his books, taking the hint Kami and You did the same.
“How were things with the professor?” Gackt asked, as he fastened Kami’s travel bag to his motorbike. It would be a tight fit but the bike seemed to be enough to take them to the cabin.
“He acted normal enough, I think he’s worried I really will put in a complaint,” Kami explained. “He told my parents though but my mother seemed to already know. Not that I was dating, just that it would be a man I ended up with. I lied to her and told her this was a normal monogamous relationship, so she’s ok with everything. Father doesn’t talk to me anyway, so it doesn’t really matter what he thinks.”
“I suppose a white-lie won’t hurt her,” Gackt decided. “But I’d rather you were honest.”
“I am, just not with her,” Kami protested. “You know how fragile a parent’s relationship can be when their child is a monst…. Other-Kin.”
“Different.” Gackt said firmly, carefully getting on the bike and waiting for Kami to do the same before they rode away from the campus. This was what normal students do, Kami thought as they made their way to the cabin, had dates without concerns where they would laugh and joke with each other. Have I become normal? As crazy as the idea was, he was a butterfly dating a horse who had at least two others he cared for, he realised that he did feel normal. Or perhaps the word he was looking for was happy?
He leant closer to Gackt, pressed between his bag and his boyfriend as he was, allowing his arms to rest on the other’s spread thighs. It was almost tempting to tease Gackt, from this position he really could move his hands up, but the idea of an accident froze his intimate touch where it was.
The farms and small villages he was used to seeing changed into steep slopes as they made their way up a mountain. As a kid he’d been on beach holidays or camping in the woods, he’d never been somewhere as wild as this mountain forest. Eventually they passed through a small village and along a single lane dirt road for what felt like forever, before that ended at the secluded cabin.
With legs half cramped from the long ride, Kami got off the bike and removed his helmet. With wonder he stared at the natural sights around him, marvelling at how delicate the flowers were when compared to the huge trees. This cabin was beautiful, more a luxury mansion than the simple wooden lodge he’d been expecting.
He jumped when he felt a single finger trace up his back along the exposed skin between his wings. He’d almost forgotten that Gackt was here, though of course the stallion was the reason that he had come.
“You’re a tease, Kami,” Gackt scolded him. “Holding me the way you did, without even a kiss when we arrive?”
“Maybe you don’t deserve a kiss?” Kami said, taking flight when Gackt tried to claim his lips for his own. He hovered a few feet in the air before landing and giving Gackt the passionate kiss he had tried to claim. “Maybe I am a tease, but I’m also yours.”
“Mine?” Gackt repeated. “You’re entirely your own, I can’t control you anymore than a wild butterfly and that’s the way things should be.”
“Your boyfriend then.” Kami corrected, no longer surprised that Gackt took issue with things most people had no reason to object to.
“The thorn in my side?” Gackt suggested as he placed his hands on Kami’s hips and pulled him into a tender kiss. “I despise you.”
“Then I’ll leave.” Kami suggested, not getting the chance as Gackt pulled him closer to kiss again.
“How?” Gackt asked. “Out here you’re at my mercy.”
“I’ll fly away and...”
“You’ll come back.” Gackt finished for him. He was right, no matter what he would always fly back to this man. Tenderly Kami held him, his hands moving down to rest in Gackt’s tail. He began to shiver, not from desire but from the cold. He’d stolen Gackt’s heat on the bike, pressed against him so closely it had been easy to stay warm, but now a wind had kicked up.
“It’s cold up here.” Kami explained when Gackt expressed concern.
“Grab your bag then and we’ll go in.” Gackt ordered, helping Kami release his bag from the bike before lifting up the seat and retrieving a bag of his own. Happy to go inside, Kami made his way to the front door and welcomed the warmth as he entered the beautiful home. He was going to ask what Gackt’s sister did for a living but his thought was pushed aside when Gackt claimed his lips again. Perhaps his touch on the bike had been a little too intimate? It seemed that Gackt’s desire was becoming an untamed beast. He could stop the other, he knew that Gackt cared enough to do as he wished without complaint, but he wouldn’t say no. His own will was to allow the other access to his most intimate of areas, so he dropped his bag in the hallway and stripped naked as he made his way to the large patio windows that gave a perfect view of the lake.
“Here?” Gackt asked needlessly.
“Well it’s not like anyone can see us.” Kami declared, glancing around the room before he spotted a sofa that would give the perfect view as his body was taken for the other’s pleasure. He knelt upon it, facing away from the room as he rested his arms against the backrest and positioned himself in such a way that Gackt wouldn’t struggle to bring the pleasure they both craved. A pair of horny teenagers with nothing to stop them doing as they pleased, the very idea thrilled Kami to the core.
“Whatever happened to you being shy?” Gackt asked, grinning as he reached into his pocket. The smile faltered as whatever he was looking for wasn’t there. “One minute, I need to go upstairs. I have some things up there and….”
“Front pocket of my bag, if it’s condom and lube you’ve forgotten,” Kami said, unable to stop laughing when Gackt went to retrieve the items he had listed. “What happened to the most important rule being to protect our own health?”
“I had some upstairs.” Gackt said, as if he hadn’t forgotten anything at all. To question him would kill the mood, so Kami just smiled to himself and waited eagerly for the other to begin preparing his body. Gackt had been so romantic that first night, but romance wasn’t what either of them wanted right now. He needed to get the edge off, he had deliberately reframed from touching himself all week for this weekend and now he was desperate for the other’s touch. The fingers entering his body were a much welcomed intrusion and he found himself pushing back against them, taking the two digits in further, delighted by the sensations brought to him by the other. He had been hollow without his lover inside him, a shell waiting to be filled by the other’s release. Only they couldn’t do that, could they? Gackt’s lifestyle meant he would never consent to this without protection. He supposed it was a small price to pay, he certainly wasn’t left wanting more when the other pleasured him the way he did.
A third finger entered him and he let out a quite moan of contentment. It was so good, so very much what his body needed. He could barely focus on what Gackt was saying but when he did he blushed at the erotic compliments. He wanted to respond in kind, truly he did, but he wasn’t good at dirty talk and that fourth finger entering him had swept all rational thoughts away. He clung to the back of the sofa, not caring what Gackt thought of the way he moaned.
“Please, my body is yours…” Kami whimpered when Gackt’s fingers moved out at him and the other joked that he was bored with him.
“Is it?” Gackt asked with a smirk. He seemed to enjoy having his partner so helplessly begging for him.
“Please...” Kami begged again, relieved when Gackt began to push his hard length deep inside. This was it, what his body had been crying out for and his loud moan echoed his relief. When had he become such a slut for cock? Just recently he’d been a virgin but now he knew what this was like, had a partner who respected him despite the teasing, he knew he couldn’t go back to his more innocent days.
His body thrust back against Gackt’s, too horny to feel anything close to embarrassment. He needed this man right now and by the way Gackt’s pace was growing faster he knew the other was just as desperate. The pace quickened further, becoming a rough rush to release and Kami cried out in pure delight. Everyone had always been so gentle with him, it was a nice change to have the other’s nails digging into his hips as he was taken with so much force.
“Don’t cum on the sofa.” Gackt warned, an impossible request but Kami managed to hold back his own orgasm even when he felt the other cum inside the latex barrier that separated them. He gasped as the other left him, his lust not spent, his arousal achingly hard.
Taken by the hand, they opened the patio doors and went back outside. Here Gackt dropped to his knees and smiled up at Kami as he slid a condom over his leaking length. The other was so keen to use his mouth on him, Kami thought as warm lips surrounded his hardened length. He loved the sight of Gackt before him, his long hair brushing against Kami’s thighs as his head bobbed quickly along the length. He was so desperate to cum but part of him didn’t want to. To be lost in this pleasure forever, that was heaven. Still, with a gasp he came and Gackt pulled away from him to give him a lingering and affection kiss. With the lust gone, there was nothing left but admiration and affection, the moment felt like perfection.
“Will you be mine forever?” Gackt asked, half serious and half teasing. “My horny little fairy.” Kami froze at the word, the name that had been used to taunt him since he was thirteen years old. Even though Gackt said it with such affection, he couldn’t help but feel slandered. The moment was ruined, and worse, Gackt knew it.
“Gackt…” Kami got out, but the other was already wrapping him in a tight embrace.
“I’m sorry, I should have known that word had been used to hurt you,” Gackt apologised. “I’m an idiot. I’m so sorry.”
“You didn’t mean to hurt me, it’s fine.” Kami said.
“No, it’s no,” Gackt corrected. “I shouldn’t have said that, I got carried away and forgot to think.”
“Let’s pretend it never happened?” Kami suggested. “Really, I don’t want to make a scene out of this.”
“Of course,” Gackt promised, giving Kami a gentle kiss. “Will you be mine forever? My beautiful butterfly?”
“Forever is a long time,” Kami answered, “But I’m willing to try.”
“Ok, I think I have it.” Gackt said, finally fastening the top Mana had given Kami around his wings. They’d agreed to go on an afternoon walk, but Kami’s outfit seemed to have other ideas. At least now he was warm and relatively comfortable, if he ignored the slight soreness between his legs. They had really gone hard with each other earlier, but it had certainly been worth it.
“I really should speak to Mana about how hard this is to put on.” Kami said, surprised by Gackt’s reaction.
“Mana?” Gackt repeated, “Is that the fashion designer you’re going to model for?”
“Yes, do you know him?” Kami asked.
“I’ve met him,” Gackt said, his tone suggesting it hadn’t been a good meeting. “Well it seems he’s good at making clothes.”
“It’ll be nice to have a fashion designer for us Other-Kin,” Kami answered, deciding to ignore Gackt’s reluctance to compliment Mana. He had no issues with the man and wanted to avoid causing their happiness to fade away with conversations of why Gackt didn’t get on with him. “No more having to wear human clothes that we alter ourselves.”
“When it’s you, it’s best you don’t wear clothes at all.” Gackt replied. Always the flirt, Kami thought as he ignored the comment and left the bedroom. Taking flight, he flew over the bannister and landed in the hallway downstairs.
“Come on!” He called up to Gackt, “What’s taking you so long to get downstairs?”
“A fear of what gravity would do to me?” Gackt suggested, hurrying down the stairs and taking Kami by the hand. “No flying off on me!”
“What’s the point of these wings, if I never fly?” Kami asked. It was true he didn’t fly much, the fatigue was the main deterrent, but he did enjoy to fly every now and again.
“You can fly towards me, never away.” Gackt decided after a moment’s thought. Smiling Kami led him outside, waiting for only long enough for Gackt to lock the door before they headed into the woods and onto the path.
“Where does this road go?” Kami asked.
“Right is to the village, the people here are pretty hostile to our kind,” Gackt admitted. “To the left is a lake. Sometimes there are ducks, but I think they may have left for the winter.”
“Left it is then.” Kami decided, the couple walking quietly for a little way before Gackt began to flirt with him all over again. It was so nice to be with someone who saw him as nothing but beautiful and kind and so Kami basked in the attention. He flirted back, stopping to kiss twice, before they found the lake.
There was a family there, a child who stared in surprise to see them, parents who shot them dirty looks before trying to encourage their child away. Without a word, Gackt led Kami around the lake away from the family where they rested on a bench to watch a couple of geese that swam before them.
“Well, they didn’t cause a scene,” Kami said quietly. “That’s something.”
“Don’t you hate it though?” Gackt asked. “People being so cruel just because we’re different? I tried so hard to show you that humans aren’t all like that but…”
“Just showing me one kind human was enough,” Kami reassured him. “You showed me several that time in the town.”
“Still, it sucks.” Gackt said. Kami couldn’t argue, it truly did. His attention fell on the child, who had placed a remote controlled boat on the lake. He’d been a child like that once, so innocent and free. Would this boy grow up like them? What then would his parents do?
“Oh! A fish!” Kami exclaimed, as he saw silver scales beneath the water.
“This is a fishing lake,” Gackt confirmed. “Full of salmon mainly. You need a license to fish here though.”
“To avoid overfishing?” Kami asked, just as the child’s cry could be heard across the water. He looked up to see the boat had somehow fallen on its side, no longer responding to the remote controls in the child’s hands. It looked like an expensive toy and there was no way the parents could get the boat without getting wet. Taking pity on the child, Kami flew across the water and rescued the boat before landing by the family who watched in shocked surprise.
“Thank you!” The kid cried out, wrapping Kami in an awkward hug. His parents were too stunned to say a word, perhaps not expecting to have seen kindness in a man such as himself.
“Don’t sail it out so far, ok?” Kami said to the child. “I won’t be around next time to save it.”
“I won’t!” The child promised. With a smile Kami flew back to Gackt, who gave him a questioning look.
“Why would you help that family, who don’t even want us here?”
“Because,” Kami said, “That child was crying and it wasn’t like they’d done anything bad. Perhaps seeing that Other-Kin can be kind may sway the parent’s minds?”
“I doubt that,” Gackt answered. “But perhaps if that boy grows up to be not human, they’ll remember your kindness and not cast him aside?”
“That would be something at least.” Kami confirmed with a smile. He accepted Gackt’s kiss, but as he glanced over the lake, he saw the parents were leaving the lake in disgust. He hadn’t changed anything, but he knew that rescuing the boat had still been the right thing to do.
Chapter 6: Chapter 5: Asserting Dominance
He’d never been a morning person but as he woke up to Gackt’s presence beside him, it wasn’t so bad. Gackt was awake, reading a book as he stretched naked on the bed. He’d insisted on sleeping without clothes, claiming he was only comfortable this way. Kami hadn’t complained, he quite enjoyed the view if he was to be honest.
He moved closer to Gackt, surprising the other with a kiss before he untangled himself from the bedsheets and made his way to the bathroom. Just a lazy morning without plans, truly these were the best. By the time he was done in the bathroom, Gackt had put down his book and put on some clothes before working a hairbrush through his hair. He’d taken the time to tie it up before he slept, but Kami knew from experience that didn’t stop all the tangles.
“Can I plait your tail?” Kami asked nervously. He wasn’t sure why he wanted to do so, just that he knew he did. Maybe it was a reason to be close to Gackt, that was more caring than sexual? Perhaps it was just his love of messing with hairstyles in his own hair, transitioning onto Gackt’s tail? Whatever the reason, Gackt agreed to allow him to do so and handed over the hairbrush. Happily Kami retrieved the purple ribbon he had bought and began to expertly plait it into Gackt’s tail. He took his time, scolding Gackt whenever he encouraged him to hurry up. This was his time, Gackt would just have to wait.
Once finished, he admired his handywork before picking up the hairbrush to hand back to Gackt. It was then that he noticed it, a long strand of blond hair too thick to be anything but a tail hair. You had used this brush. Gackt wasn’t his, he shared him with another and the hair was a stark reminder. Even here, You was part of their relationship. Hesitantly Kami pulled the hair away from the bristles, knowing Gackt was watching but unable to do anything but hold the hair for a long moment.
“Kami?” Gackt said, unsure which wasn’t like him at all.
“It’s nothing,” Kami reassured him. Tossing the hair in the bin and handing the brush back to Gackt. “I don’t mind that he’s used this brush.”
“I’ll make us some breakfast whilst you get dressed.” Gackt announced, heading downstairs to give Kami chance to think. It was true that he wasn’t upset by the hair, it’d just taken him by surprise to find it. Gackt did separate his time with his lovers, right now it was just the two of them, but he was starting to realise that to Gackt it would never just be him. What would happen in the future, would Gackt move in with him? Both of them? Neither? What happened at parties or special events? He’d barely thought about this relationship in those terms, the hair had made him realise that he probably should.
He joined Gackt in the kitchen, setting the table whilst Gackt finished preparing the food. It was only when they sat down that he got up the nerve to ask him. Once the thought was in his head, he couldn’t let it go.
“Gackt,” He began hesitantly, “How to you handle having two boyfriends when it comes to things like your birthday?”
“Well that depends,” Gackt said. “I think that because you get on with You, I’d have a party as always and invite you both as friends. Maybe celebrate as a date the day before and the day after? I think that may be the easiest solution.”
“That sounds fair,” Kami relented. He could handle sharing Gackt in such a manner. “And what about in the future, when you want to settle into your home. Would you invite one of us, both?”
“Who knows?” Gackt said with a shrug. “We’d find an arrangement should that time come. I have a private dorm for now with no intention to ask anyone to move in.”
“Can I ask one more question?” Kami asked, sensing that Gackt wasn’t in the mood to be questioned. “Do you ever wish to have both of us in your bed at once?”
“Why would I?” Gackt asked. “How could I possibly show either of you enough affection when I’m making you share me? Do you want a threesome?”
“No,” Kami said, pleased with Gackt’s answer. “I don’t think I could handle anyone else seeing me like that. When we have sex….”
“You become very demanding,” Gackt finished for him. “And I love that you love it so much. When you moan, I know that I’m doing everything just right.”
“I forget myself,” Kami corrected. “And that’s ok, because I trust you. You don’t laugh or judge.”
“Oh, I judge,” Gackt said with a smirk. “But believe me, it’s nothing but a perfect score.”
“You’re such a flirt!” Kami complained but all his protest did was encourage Gackt to come around the table to kiss him. “Pervert! Taking me away like this, to use for your desires!”
“You love it!” Gackt retorted. “Don’t lie to me.”
“Do you even have any other plans for the day?” Kami asked. He’d give Gackt what he wanted, but not right now. He wanted to enjoy the day with him first.
“Well it’s raining,” Gackt said as he glanced out of the window. “But there’s a pool table in the other room. We could play a few games? I think there’s darts to. Maybe some board games?”
“How quaint.” Kami said, but he was grinning. It sounded like the perfect opportunity to enjoy some wholesome time with the other.
Gackt was competitive, that was what Kami had learnt as they spent the morning in the games room. He sulked when he lost, had laser focus when he played any game at all. It was rather intense to watch him lose at darts, but whilst he wasn’t happy, he never once took it out on him.
The rain stopped around lunchtime, so they prepared a picnic and went to eat it at the lake. This time only a couple of fishermen were around, who acted like they weren’t even there but at least it was better than them picking up a fuss.
“Those men are probably wondering why I have purple ribbons in my tail,” Gackt informed Kami. “You’ve made me look so gay!”
“Not as gay as when you kiss me,” Kami said, thinking about all the other things Gackt had done that were decidedly more gay. To give another man a blow-job, it truly was the most intimate of acts and yet Gackt never acted like it was. He glanced at Gackt, debating if he could, if he should. “That’s pretty gay you know.”
“Says the man who allows another into their ass!” Gackt teased. “That’s not gay in your mind?”
“We’re not talking about me.” Kami said stubbornly.
“Why not?” Gackt asked. “You know, if these men weren’t over there, I’d bend you over this bench and show you just how gay you were.”
“Well it’s decided,” Kami announced. “We both hate those men over there for ruining that lesson.”
“Something like that.” Gackt said, giving Kami a surprised luck. Perhaps he hadn’t expected him to admit it? Kami was almost embarrassed by his own words, but he pushed the embarrassment back. With Gackt he didn’t need to be ashamed. With that thought in mind, he decided that he would have the courage to do what he thought he could not.
Waiting to finish the picnic, he lead Gackt away from the lake and off the path. They walked for a good five minutes before Kami decided that they were no longer at risk of being caught. Here was the right spot, there was even a tree that had fallen in such a way that it formed the perfect spot for Gackt to sit.
“Here?” Gackt asked, as Kami began to fondle his lover’s crotch.
“Whilst I have the nerve.” Kami explained, though it was more than that. Having sex out in the open seemed to fuel on his lust and desire. It wasn’t so much the risk of getting caught, that would humiliate him, it was simply being in touch with nature. He silently thanked Mana for providing him with the top that kept him warm, this trip wouldn’t be nearly as much fun without it.
“There’s no need to force yourself.” Gackt said gently, clearly he’d picked up on how unsure Kami was when it came to using his mouth. “Just stop if you can’t do this.”
“I can do it.” Kami said stubbornly, helping Gackt to full hardness before pulling the flavoured condom from his pocket. He’d bought these especially for this act, though at the time he hadn’t been sure if he’d end up in this position. It was easier because he could stand, he thought, it made him feel a lot less vulnerable.
The condom was slid on easily enough and he slowly moved his lips towards the latex covered flesh. His heart pounded in his chest but he wrapped his lips around the tip and pulled back quickly. It was embarrassing! How could anyone do this?
“Use your hand,” Gackt encouraged. “Stoke me and if you want, lick the tip of my cock.”
“I’m sorry.” Kami apologised, though he didn’t have to. Carefully he did as Gackt suggested, working up a good pace at the base of the hard flesh before moving his tongue along the tip. The sweet flavour of the condom was pleasant enough, so he focused on that as he licked at the other. This was silly! Loads of people did this act, he’d gone far further. He opened his mouth and began to swallow, pulling back as he felt he was going to gag.
“I’m big, I know, it’s not always a good thing.” Gackt reassured him. “Focus on the tip.”
“I can do this!” Kami snapped at him, moving his mouth back around the other’s length. He didn’t take in as much this time, filling only his mouth as he began to suck. He let his hand do most of the work, taking his time with his tongue to explore the flesh in his mouth. It tasted good, well the condom did anyway, and he certainly enjoyed the way Gackt was beginning to moan. He took in more, but had to pull away to gasp for breath. This was his limit then, his gag reflex was too strong. Nervously he looked at Gackt, with eyes closed and moaning softly it was clear he had no objections to Kami’s rather amateur blow-job. Fine, he’ll carry on like this then!
He moved his lips around the tip again, pushing the tip against his cheek as he took in more without brushing the back of his throat. This was it! He was beginning to enjoy himself, finally understanding how others could do this. He moved his mouth away, sucking along the length as his hand frantically rubbed at the base. He moved his mouth further down, his tongue licking over Gackt’s balls which he kissed several times before making his way back up to that tip that he could now take in his mouth without reservations.
“Don’t push yourself.” Gackt got out between gasps, as Kami once again tried to take in more than he should. Coughing Kami recovered quickly and returned his mouth to the other’s flesh. This was it, he could do this. Slowly he worked his mouth down the other’s shaft, tilting his head slightly. See, he could take in more, but even as he thought it, he had to pull back to breath.
Giving up on taking in more, he focused on licking and sucking along the shaft instead, savouring the entire length this way. He was never going to be the best at this, but at least he could get another man to cum using his mouth beside his hand.
“I’m coming!” Gackt warned, encouraging Kami to take the head back in his mouth. He sucked hard now, feeling cum fill the condom. He pulled back, shyly wiping the drool away from his mouth. He was ashamed now, not of what he had done but how badly he had done it. “That was amazing.”
“What?” Kami said, stunned by Gackt’s reaction. He wanted to accuse the other of lying, but it was clear Gackt meant every word.
“Truly, you were so affectionate, so passionate and eager to please. It was a total turn on.” Gackt explained.
“I couldn’t even take you in my mouth!” Kami exclaimed.
“So?” Gackt said. “Trust me, that’s not what makes a good blow-job. You did great Kami, you wanted me in your mouth and it showed. Hey! Don’t blush, it’s not a bad thing. Not when it’s us.”
“Really, I didn’t suck?” Kami asked, blushing a deeper red when he heard what he had just said. “I mean, suck in a none sexual way?”
“You sucked just right.” Gackt said with a wink, glancing down at Kami’s crotch but saying nothing when he saw the other wasn’t hard at all. They both knew that Kami had been too nervous to become aroused, but perhaps that nervous enthusiasm was what had led to Gackt having such a good time?
There was one other thing that Kami wanted to do to Gackt, but for that he knew the forest wasn’t the right place. With no rush, they explored the forest before returning to the cabin to relax. They cooked dinner together, laughing and joking as they shared many kisses. It was so easy to be with Gackt, the time seemed to fly away from them but Kami refused to think about that.
As the food cooked, Kami returned to the living room where he looked through the books. He paused when he saw several sex guides, realising in horror that these were for S&M! Gackt surely… no, this was his sister’s place. These weren’t Gackt’s books. It felt strange though that she’d leave them here where her brother could see. Perhaps she’d forgotten that they were there?
Gackt had gone upstairs to make a phone call, presumably to You as he had been so vague, so Kami pulled one of the books out and glanced through it. He certainly wasn’t into the pain aspect but seeing a man so hopelessly in chains was sexy enough. He placed the book back as Gackt came downstairs, giving the other a smile as they talked until the food was done.
Gackt retrieved an expensive looking red wine to have with the dinner, which Kami accepted to calm his nerves. He was going to push through another barrier tonight, the alcohol would help him relax though he certainly didn’t want to be drunk.
“Gackt, please slow down!” Kami complained as Gackt poured a second drink. “I don’t want you to get drunk.”
“Why not?” Gackt asked. “It’s fun and…”
“And you can’t consent if you’re drunk!” Kami exclaimed. The other laughed at him before sobering up when he saw Kami was serious.
“I’ll consent now then,” Gackt promised. “And this will be my last glass. Happy?”
“Yes.” Kami replied. It remained unspoken that You let Gackt get drunk, encouraged it even, but on this Kami wasn’t going to back down. Not tonight, not when he had plans for the other.
After that, dinner went smoothly and once finished Gackt decided that there was a TV show he wanted to watch. It wasn’t Kami’s plan at all but he joined Gackt in the living room where he waited impatiently for the show to end. The moment it did, he grabbed the remote to turn off the TV and encouraged Gackt upstairs ignoring the other’s teasing. He’d waited hours for this and besides, he hadn’t had any fun in the forest the way Gackt had!
Perhaps encouraged by Kami’s eagerness to get upstairs, Gackt gave Kami a passionate kiss the moment they reached the bedroom. He was taking charge, as he always did, and Kami allowed it for the time being. He would submit to Gackt, he would be the other’s plaything for a little while.
Clothes fell to the floor, naked bodies pressed against each other and still they kissed. The lube covered finger took Kami by surprised but again, this was all part of his plan. He needed to be ready so he leant against the other as one by one fingers stretched and teased him. Their hard arousals brushed against one another and he began to rub his body against Gackt’s. How he’d gone from no sex at all, to needing it so much, Kami wasn’t so sure but it didn’t matter anyway. He wanted Gackt inside him, it was what his body was crying out for.
“Go bend over the bed.” Gackt ordered, once he was sure Kami was ready for him.
“No, you lie down,” Kami replied. “Don’t look at me like that! Do as I say!”
“Wow!” Gackt said, half shocked and half impressed as he did as told. He kept his legs together, making it clear that he wasn’t going to part them for anyone. It didn’t surprise Kami at all, he’d expected as much.
Taking flight, he moved to the bed and straddled Gackt as he carefully landed over the other. The arousal slid inside him easily, the condom Gackt wore already dripping with lube. He’d never seen Gackt’s expression whilst they did this before, his lust filled gaze was intense and almost intimidating. There was a reason why he liked to look away, but Kami pushed his shyness aside as he fluttered his wings enough to rise his body up the other’s shaft. Like this he rode the other, moaning softly and then louder as the other’s hand wrapped around his length. It was nice to have this power, to share the moment as intimately as this.
His wings began to ache after a while of lifting him up and down, so he used his body to ride the other instead, leaning forward so they could kiss. He felt Gackt thrust up into him now, their bodies finding a rhythm that pleased them both. He came against the other’s chest and still his body was abused by the other. The cock so large, the thrusts into him so strong. He gasped and moaned, feeling the other cling to him with arms and legs as he became a toy to Gackt’s lust. He was so tired, hips and wings aching in protest at having to go for so long. He’d had his pleasure and yet his body kept going back for more.
When Gackt came, Kami fell away with both relief and disappointment. He’d enjoyed being wrapped up so tightly, being so close, but his own body was screaming enough! His ass ached from taking such a large erection for so long, so soon after their last session.
“Come back to me.” Gackt begged, and Kami obeyed. Lying on his side beside the other he allowed Gackt to wrap his body against him, used now to the way Gackt liked to smell his hair and neck after sex. It was just Gackt’s thing, a habit he almost certainly had because he was part horse. No that wasn’t quite right, it was because he was Gackt and that was what Gackt liked to do.
It was almost a tragedy when they returned to the university campus and he had to share Gackt once more. He didn’t mind that You had his turns, he’d just got used to spending every waking moment by the other’s side. Still, he soon slipped back into their usual routine and returned his focus to his studies and the multiple photoshoots Mana had arranged for him. Everything was going well, even the kids who had used to mock and tease him began to back off when they realised Kami was no longer affected by their cruel words and that he had the protection of Gackt’s circle of friends to watch over him.
It was a lazy Sunday when he found the white feather behind Gackt’s pillow. It was such a shock that he found himself pulling away from Gackt’s touch to hold it in horror instead. Was two lovers not enough for him? Did he need a third? He remembered the swan that had broken Gackt’s heart so many times, was this his?
“Who’s is this?” Kami demanded, unable to keep the hurt from his voice. “Hyde’s? Why would you go back to him?”
“He came to me,” Gackt said, giving Kami a wary look. “You know I’m polyamorous, that I have multiple partners. Why are you suddenly so upset?”
“Because, he hurts you!” Kami exclaimed, unable to voice his real reasons. He’d never thought that Gackt would want a third man in his life and the realisation that he had taken one, even a man he had known about, felt like he’d just hit by a bullet train. “I know all about him, You told me! How he has a wife and yet because he’s bi, he keeps coming back to you. He can’t be your lover! You only end up hurt!”
“What I have with Hyde, has nothing to do with you,” Gackt said coldly. “If I want three lovers, then I have three. Perhaps if you got a second boyfriend you’d understand!”
“Maybe I will then!” Kami said stubbornly.
“You should!” Gackt confirmed. He was serious, he truly wanted Kami to find love elsewhere.
“There’s a man with a crush on me…” Kami began, at least he was pretty sure that there was.
“Ask him out then!” Gackt exclaimed. “Because if you want to be happy in a polyamorous lover, you need to live that lifestyle yourself. It concerns me that you don’t.”
“Why does it matter to you?” Kami asked. His anger and hurt had calmed now. He had been irrational, Gackt had done nothing that they hadn’t already agreed to. It wasn’t like Gackt was spending less time with him, still he couldn’t help but be annoyed that Gackt had gone back to Hyde. Perhaps it truly was because of what You had said. But then, was it really any of his business?
“If you have two lovers, you won’t want to spend all your time with just me,” Gackt explained. “You’ll be happy and get to explore things you can’t in this relationship. Perhaps you want to be dominant with a new lover? Maybe he shares your love of samurai? Perhaps you want a boy toy or a sugar daddy? I give you the freedom to find out, just take it!”
“Fine, I’ll ask him out,” Kami agreed, shocked at what he was agreeing with his boyfriend. This really wasn’t a normal relationship, he needed to stop treating it like one. “Only, if Hyde does hurt you again, you have been warned.”
“Leave Hyde to me.” Gackt said, taking the feather from Kami’s hand and placing it to one side. It seemed their argument was over, though Kami’s emotions had hardly changed. He hated the idea that the swan was back in Gackt’s life, was hurt by the very idea but knew he was getting no sympathy and no apologies. This was Gackt, just as much a part of him as the tail and his relationship with You. He had to accept the parts of Gackt he didn’t like, that was just what this relationship was all about.
He’s shyer than me! Kami realised as Mana quietly joined him by the campus gates. The fashion designer had agreed to go on a walk with him but he had barely made eye contact as he arrived. Taking Mana’s hand, Kami lead him into the outside world and began to wonder if this date was a good idea. He knew Mana liked him but wasn’t so sure he’d be able to give Mana his heart. Perhaps his body then? A sexual partnership between friends? He suspected Gackt would be just as happy for him to have that kind of relationship.
“You have a boyfriend, as do I,” Mana eventually said. “Is Gackt really ok with this?”
“Yes,” Kami reassured him. Mana nodded. “And yours?”
“His name is Klaha, he’s a teddy bear,” Mana said, with a blank expression but affection in his tone of voice. Kami remembered meeting a Bear-Kin a few times when he visited Mana, but had never known his name. Surely that was who Mana was referring too. “He adores me so much that he didn’t even try to stop me seeing you. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I was honest with him so I guess he’s ok with it.”
“Probably,” Kami agreed. “But I think you should check before we do anything together.”
“I’ll talk to him.” Mana replied. Kami suspected that by talk, Mana actually meant he’d write an email, but as long as Klaha was aware and not stopping these meetings he was sure that starting this relationship was ok. They walked quietly a little longer before Mana began to open up to him, by the end of their date he found that Mana was comfortable in his presence, though Kami wasn’t so sure where he wanted this relationship to go. It was true that Mana liked him and he did find the other attractive and surprisingly smart, but he couldn’t brush aside the idea that he was cheating on Gackt. The other wanted him to date but Kami wondered if he really was capable of polyamory.
He gave Mana a lingering kiss before they parted ways, with a promise that they could see each other again once he had spoken to Klaha. Heading back to his dorm, he began to realise that despite how nervous they had both been, he truly had enjoyed his day with Mana. Not only that, he was looking forward to seeing the other man again. He wouldn’t be happy if Klaha didn’t agree to Mana seeing him and in that moment, it finally clicked what it meant to be polyamorous. He could like two men at once, he could have two boyfriends! The time with each man was so different, he could compartmentalise the relationships just like Gackt did! In fact, when it came to Mana he knew that he could be the one to feel another’s tight heat around his cock. Dirty thoughts began to fill his mind, every one centring around the shy man he had just left. Yes, he wanted to do this and Klaha was the only person, besides Mana of course, who was able to stop him doing what he craved.
Chapter 7: Chapter 6: Consequences of the Past
Kami’s phone was ringing before he even got back to his dorm and with a sense of unease, he answered Gackt’s call hoping it was just a friendly chat. It wasn’t like Gackt to call so late, was something wrong?
“We need to talk, I’ll meet you at the café to your left.” Gackt ordered, his tone harsh and not giving Kami a chance to object.
“Is something wrong?” Kami asked, but the call had already been cut off. Gackt had sounded upset with him but what had he done? Other than kiss another man, he realised, but Gackt had told him to find another boyfriend! He thought back, wondering how Gackt had known exactly where he was. Közi! He suddenly realised. Mana’s roommate was Gackt’s friend, could he have been the one who had told?
He didn’t have to wait for Gackt long, the other wearing a face of thunder as he joined Kami at the table. He was somewhere between angry and upset, Kami realised as he greeted the other. Gackt just gave him a piercing look in return.
“Mana?” Gackt asked. “He’s the one who has a crush on you?”
“You told me to ask him out!” Kami protested. “Encouraged it even!”
“Not with him!” Gackt exclaimed, the way he said ‘him’ made it sound like the dirtiest of insults. “I ignored your friendship but not this! Did you seek him out just to hurt me? Is this how you punish me for my time with Hyde?”
“You hate him so much?” Kami asked, he knew Mana struggled to make friends but to elicit such hate? It hardly seemed possible that the quiet man could have enemies. “You think I’d date him to hurt you? He likes me Gackt and I thought that maybe…”
“You know I don’t like him!” Gackt said, his emotions a little calmer now but still visibly upset. “That it would make things awkward for us.”
“No I didn’t!” Kami exclaimed. “I thought that maybe you had a point, perhaps I should try to live the way you do.”
“With him!” Gackt repeated. “Seriously, Mana?”
“What’s so bad?” Kami asked. “If he did something I should know about…”
“Does it matter what he did?” Gackt asked. “Just know I don’t like it and I don’t give you permission to date that man.”
“Maybe I don’t need your permission?” Kami suggested, growing angry now. “Maybe this isn’t a relationship where you do as you wish and I do as you say! Perhaps I like Mana and seeing as you can’t give me a valid reason not to, I’m going to date him!”
“If you date him, then we’re not lovers anymore.” Gackt threatened. Angrily Kami glared the other down.
“Well then, I guess we’re not lovers anymore.” He declared, leaving the stunned stallion in the café as he headed home. He expected Gackt to run after him, to apologise and then they could make things right, but there were no footsteps behind him. By the time he got home, he was crying openly as he wondered where things had gone so wrong.
Perhaps he shouldn’t have insisted on dating Mana? It wasn’t like he was sure he even had feelings for the other but Gackt forbidding him from doing so was a step too far. If there had been a reason….
There were no reasons. Gackt was trying to control him and he wouldn’t allow it. Things had been so good between them but now he saw the cracks. Perhaps he had escaped a relationship that could have ended up extremely badly? He’d never thought that Gackt was manipulating him before, now he wasn’t so sure. Filled with doubts he lay facedown on his bed, allowing his tears to fall as he came to terms that he had just lost the light in his life. He’d never felt so alone.
The weekend had been lonely without Gackt’s presence but Kami got through it, feeling calmer now that the dust had settled. His first love had been bound to end in tears, it was only natural. Besides, what was a man like him doing dating two men anyway? He hadn’t even told Yu~ki what was going on, the other would only judge him and blame him for dating Gackt in the first place. Best to keep quiet.
Meeting Mana again one evening was the highlight of his week. Klaha was perfectly happy with their relationship and Kami planned to make the most of it. He wouldn’t let Gackt control him. Not when they were dating, not now, not ever.
“Shall we go for a drink?” Mana asked as he let Kami in. “There’s a café near here…”
“Not that one,” Kami said firmly. He’d gone the long way around to avoid even looking at it. “How about the one by the gym? It’ll be nice to have a walk.”
“In the bitter cold?” Mana asked, “It’s horrid out. I’ll make you a drink here if you don’t want to go out.”
“Might be for the best,” Kami said, taking a seat at the edge of Mana’s bed as the other went to the communal kitchen downstairs to make some hot chocolate. He wondered if Közi was still spying on him but pushed the thought aside. He doubted Közi had meant harm telling Gackt, probably just sharing gossip without any idea of the consequences.
Mana returned quickly, handing Kami his drink before joining him on the bed. Carefully Mana pulled the fabric of his long skirt away from Kami, as it really was threatening to overtake the bed.
“You look good in that dress,” Kami complimented him. “Beautiful even.”
“I’m glad you think so.” Mana said simply. He was a man of little words but Kami was beginning to read through the hidden meanings. Mana was expressing the woman he could have been if just one chromosome was different. Elegant, graceful and so very feminine. Kami had always thought he was strictly into men but with Mana, gender no longer mattered. “It hides my tail, but these horns. Nothing can hide them.”
“Try hiding wings.” Kami replied. It was something he had considered once before realising it was impossible. He could never look normal, not ever.
“Why would you ever want to?” Mana asked, once again with added meaning behind his words. He was looking at Kami now with astonishment, as if the very idea he may not like them was the rantings of a fool.
“If I could hide my wings,” Kami said, “I could have stayed at home with my family. Gone to a normal school and my parents wouldn’t have had to pay for boarding school. If I was normal, things would be different. Some nights I thought the only good thing was being able to fly but I’m starting to appreciate them more.”
“And these horns? I’m supposed to appreciate them?” Mana asked. “This body I hate so very much, I’m supposed to love it?”
“Not knowing if you’re a man or a woman?” Kami finished for him. “You’d feel this body dysphoria as a human, wouldn’t you? So why hate the horns? If anything, they’ve taught you how to be different.”
“I think I’m both,” Mana said after a long moment of silence. “I wish I could morph between male and female at will. As it is, I only have clothes.”
“Well there you go, you know exactly what you are.” Kami told him, surprised when Mana simply gave him a nod. A PlayStation controller was passed to him as Mana turned on the console, a clear indicator he’d had enough of talking. Even so, one way or another they had made some progress together. This wasn’t the crazy romance he had with Gackt, it was simpler, safer. Less about passion and more about being in one another’s company. With Mana he could be happy but there still was a large Gackt shaped hole in his heart.
Another day without Gackt passed and he missed him all the more. He was irreplaceable, entirely unique with thoughts and ideas that were entirely his own. Twice Kami almost called him but remembering the way Gackt had tried to control him, he had placed the phone down. So lost in his melancholic thoughts of Gackt, and loving ones of Mana, that he entirely forgot the agreement he had with You. That was until the say he found the blond stallion waiting for him outside his lecture hall.
“You weren’t supposed to break his heart,” You commented, if looks could kill the one he gave Kami would have had him dead in an instance. “Do you want to have this out here, or come with me somewhere quieter?”
“Not here.” Kami said, not liking the idea of somewhere quiet either. You looked dangerous, far from the friendly man he had once known. Nervously he followed the other down the corridor, settling at the far side of a seating area away from anyone else.
“The story I heard,” You began, “Was you refused to let Gackt date Hyde. Is that true?”
“No!” Kami exclaimed. “I told him I thought it was a bad idea, but not that he couldn’t.”
“And then went to date Mana to punish him.” You added.
“Because I like Mana! It has nothing to do with Gackt!” Kami exclaimed. “If he had given me a good reason to stop, I would have. Instead he just forbade it. I won’t date a man who tries to control me like that. If he can see Hyde, I can see Mana.”
“But he won’t see Hyde when he’s with you,” You corrected. “He called it off, before you ran off to Mana you know.”
“Well that was his decision, I never asked him to do it.” Kami said stubbornly. You gave him a strange look as his anger seemed to wash away.
“I get it, you’re both stubborn idiots,” You decided. “Whatever happened to communication being the most important thing? Do you two even talk at all?”
“He told me to date another man, then got angry because I did,” Kami answered. “What’s so bad about Mana anyway?”
“He’s weird,” You confessed. “I don’t like the way he just stares at people without saying a word. But more than that, when we were sixteen the three of us went to the same school: Mana, Gackt and I. Gackt and I were dating then, on and off as we both cheated over and over. That’s how we ended up as we are now, there was no other option. Mana mocked us both for the way we were, Gackt especially. Now he wants to be polyamorous? He’s such a hypocrite! Then there was art coemption which Gackt swears he cheated to win. But then….. I guess it’s just a rivalry they’ve always had?”
“So that’s it?” Kami asked. “He cheated, somehow, in art and argues with Gackt over things? Like kids who just don’t get on?”
“When you put it like that…” You began.
“And this is enough for him to forbid me from seeing a man I like?” Kami asked. “Despite Gackt telling me it’s good for me to have another lover?”
“Well…” You began. “To be fair, you did get upset first, because you found a feather from a man you knew Gackt had feelings for. Getting jealous in a polyamorous relationship? Perhaps you should have a more conventual boyfriend. Which of course wouldn’t be the freak.”
“Don’t call him names!” Kami snapped. “Do you have any idea how hurtful that word is? Our kind get called it all the time. How dare you?”
“Sorry.” You said simply, humble and sincere. “Will you call Gackt? Apologise? He’d take you back.”
“I told you,” Kami said as he got up to leave. “I refuse to be in a relationship with someone who tries to control who my friends are! Gackt should apologise to me.”
“He won’t though,” You said with a sigh. “He’s too stubborn. More of a donkey than a horse at times. He knows he’s wrong and I’m sure you’ll get an apology, but you have to forgive him first.”
“No,” Kami said stubbornly. “It doesn’t work like that.”
“So now I’m forced to be the one to wipe away his tears yet again?” You asked. Surprised Kami found himself sitting back down.
“I don’t think Gackt is the type to cry…”
“Trust me, he is,” You answered, dialling a number in his phone. He showed Kami the name on the screen before pushing it into Kami’s hand. “Speak to him.”
“Kami?” Gackt guessed, perhaps he had known You was here but more likely he had heard You pass the phone over. His voice made Kami want to cry and beg for his forgiveness, but he held onto his anger. This man would use his emotions to control him, if he wasn’t careful.
“Is it true?” Kami asked. “That you stopped seeing Hyde for me?”
“It’s not like you gave me a choice.” Gackt said, his tone held anger but also regret.
“You told me you would keep seeing him, so I should see other people,” Kami reminded him. “Then you freak out because I do? You told me that this is all about cheating in an art competition?”
“Far more than that!” Gackt exclaimed. “Did You tell you about the time that…. You know what, never mind. I get your point. Perhaps I don’t have a valid reason to stop you seeing him.”
Had Gackt just admitted he was wrong? It was so unlike him and yet Kami was sure that was exactly what he had done. Gackt must truly miss him, as much as he missed him in return. For a moment Kami went as silent as Mana before finally making up his mind.
“Could we try again?” He asked nervously. “With you seeing Hyde and in return I still see Mana?”
“What do you even see in him?” Gackt said, with a sigh he agreed to the new terms of the relationship and arranged to meet Kami later that evening. Relieved Kami handed You back his phone not even sure how his relationship with Gackt was going to recover from all this. He didn’t want Gackt with Hyde, any more than Gackt wanted him with Mana, but somehow they needed to find a way. One thing was for sure, neither of them was about to back down.
Kami had never felt so nervous meeting Gackt before. Despite their brief conversation he wasn’t entirely convinced they had actually made up. Wasn’t convinced that Gackt hadn’t been manipulating him the whole time. What if this meeting was the official ending to their relationship? Over so quickly, like the life of a butterfly it was just a blink of an eye.
“Kami?” Gackt called softly as he entered the café. He was on time for once, uncharacteristically hesitating before he went to join Kami. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”
“I had to, didn’t I?” Kami asked. “How else would I know where we may end up? I don’t want to live with regrets.”
“Have you ordered?” Gackt asked, changing the subject quickly. When Kami confirmed he hadn’t, Gackt was summoning a waiter over to take their order. A distraction tactic, or perhaps a means to ensure that Kami wouldn’t walk out on him.
“I think I may have misunderstood, when it came to Hyde,” Kami confessed. “I thought he was cruelly playing with your heart, like a toy. I didn’t know anything about his situation, how hard things are for the two of you to be truly together. I’m sorry.”
“He thinks being with me is cheating,” Gackt explained, echoing what You had told him. “But on the next breath he calls me his soulmate. A swan is meant to have one love, that’s what his wife believes. What Hyde believes. Yet he has two. When he wants me, I let him in, knowing it will hurt when his guilt pulls him away. It’s a mess. You were right to be concerned.”
“I shouldn’t have gotten involved.” Kami corrected. That was the problem, wasn’t it? They had both gotten so wrapped up in each other that they had forgotten that there would be others involved. Men that they may not truly want their partner seeing.
“I should have told you, instead You had to,” Gackt continued. “The same with Mana. I should have told you why I don’t like him.”
“Is there a valid reason, why Mana and I shouldn’t date?” Kami asked.
“Yes, but I can’t give you a solid example of why I think you’re better without him,” Gackt answered. “Are you sure you want to be with him?”
“It’s the same thing, all over again,” Kami complained. “You still think you can decide who I can and can’t date. What’s the point of this meeting? You just want to manipulate me into doing what you want!”
“Kami, no!” Gackt begged, grabbing the other’s arm as he tried to leave. “Please, don’t leave me.”
“You’re not the boss of me,” Kami snapped, trying to free his arm before he noticed Gackt’s expression. The other was crying, openly sobbing as he clung to his arm as if letting go would end his life. “Gackt, don’t cry!” He exclaimed, finding tears running down his own cheeks. He moved to cling to Gackt, locked up in a tight embrace as they silently tried to find a way to overcome their differences.
“Date him, just stay with me. Please?” Gackt begged. He was desperate, Kami thought in surprise. He hadn’t realised how much he meant to the stallion until that moment. This wasn’t a man who had been trying to control him out of selfish desire, Gackt had merely meant to protect him from someone he believed to be spiteful and perhaps even cruel.
“Mana is nice to me you know, even though he knows I’m dating you,” Kami explained, wishing that the other patrons of the café weren’t staring so openly. “He’s quiet and shy but so clever and kind beneath. I don’t need you to like him, or even allow me to date him, I need you to understand that he’s good for me.”
“It’s like you’re describing an entirely different person.” Gackt said, pulling away as the waiter politely coughed near him. The couple sat down but held hands across the table as they observed the other’s desperation to be together.
Kami picked up his drink with his free hand, taking a long sip before placing it back down on the table. He felt exhausted, entirely drained. As if he had just accomplished a tedious task and now the pressure was gone but he didn’t have the strength to enjoy it.
“Mana doesn’t enjoy parties, or crowds,” Kami broke the silence. “So I figure for events like Christmas or my birthday, we could have the evening and I spend the morning and lunch with him. That way you both get what you want without having to tolerate each other’s presence. There will be no comments made by either of you about the other. Like you, I think it is best to compartmentalise my relationships. Finally, Sunday afternoon is just as much mine, as Friday night is You’s. Hyde better not be going into my time.”
“Those are your terms?” Gackt asked, there was a hint of his usual teasing tone but mostly he just sounded hopeful.
“Yes,” Kami said, this was it then. If Gackt refused to behave then it was all over. Still, he couldn’t help adding one more. “And I want you to cook dinner for me sometime.”
“That’s a hard bargain,” Gackt said with a reluctant sigh. “I don’t think I can agree to all of that. Cook? Me?”
“Forget that one,” Kami said, grinning now as he could already tell what Gackt’s answer would be. “From the sounds of it I’d just end up with food poisoning anyway.”
“I’m not…” Gackt began to defend himself, stopping confused mid-sentence. Was he trying to say his cooking was bad or good? It didn’t even matter, it wasn’t the point of their conversation. “I agree to your terms. All of them.”
“Really?” Kami asked shocked. Had Gackt just agreed to cook for him? Out of everything he had asked, he was certain that had probably been the hardest. He’d only ever made simple food before, or had Kami to help.
“You put down a hard bargain, I’m a hopeless fool with no choice but to agree,” Gackt said with a sigh. “And now I’m stuck with you again? What cruel hand fate has dealt tonight.”
“I could still leave?” Kami teased, but Gackt of course wouldn’t allow it and moments later he had moved to Kami’s side to give him a tender kiss.
“I’ll never allow it,” Gackt scolded him. “Not ever.”
“I think you need to sit down, before we get kicked out.” Kami warned, noticing the waiter didn’t seem impressed by their antics.
“Like our first night together?” Gackt suggested. Shaking his head Kami pushed the other away.
“I want my cake!” Kami explained. “If you let me eat it then…”
“No need to finish that sentence,” Gackt stopped him. “I think it may be best left to the imagination. For a long moment he sat silently, watching Kami enjoying his cake. “I don’t think you will ever realise how much I’ve missed you.”
“Well I missed you too.” Kami said, surprised to find the other was watching him with an intense gaze. It was like when they were by the river, the time Gackt had described him as the most beautiful man he had ever seen. This time Gackt remained silent but Kami could see that there were unspoken words in the way Gackt was admiring him. ‘I love you’ Gackt was saying silently and with a smile Kami silently responded ‘I love you too’.
Gackt refused to sleep with him that night, choosing instead to lie on the bed and simply hold his lover. Kami happily moved into the comfort of Gackt’s arms, allowing the other to smell his hair as he so very much liked to do. He’d found his way home and whilst he knew that it would take time for them to adjust their expectations of each other to fit the extra men in each other’s lives, this time he knew that they would make it.
Chapter 8: Chapter 7: Final Acceptance
Finding time alone with Mana had been difficult. They both shared their rooms and they were never sure when their roommate may return. Luckily there came a day when the swim team were competing at another university, so Kami would have his room alone. Of course he invited Mana, as spending time with Gackt was far easier to arrange. They both knew what this meeting would mean and yet he was still stunned when Mana removed his coat to reveal what he had been wearing beneath.
He’d dressed as a woman that day, which Kami had learnt to accept just meant Mana felt more feminine. He was used to seeing the other in a dress, but this was something else. It started with a black corset, tight and hinting at a chest that didn’t really exist and Kami had little interest in. At least he had thought he hadn’t, until he struggled to move his eyes lower. The corset was attached by two thin strips of material to a tiny black skirt beneath. They were very much like what you might find on garters, the same garters that were around Mana’s upper thighs. The garters held up the fabric of the thigh high boots that Mana wore, with heels so high that Kami wondered how the other could walk. He was a gay man and Mana could entirely pass as a woman right now, but he found himself more than seduced.
“Is this ok?” Mana asked nervously. It was a stupid question, one that didn’t require an answer. Eagerly Kami wrapped his arms around the other, kissing his partner with a passion he didn’t realise he was capable of. He was submissive around Gackt, even when he took control, with Mana his instincts demanded that he dominated the man. “Perhaps I’ve been naughty?”
“Good girls dress much more modestly,” Kami agreed. Mana had already confessed he was turned on by spanking and whilst Kami didn’t want to cause pain, he didn’t mind playing along just a little. “You’re very bad.”
Mana remained quiet but he smiled when Kami took him to the bed, where he sat with the other lying over his legs. He could feel the other’s crotch against his thigh, breaking the feminine illusion which perhaps was for the best. He did like men for a reason. Perhaps he really should punish Mana, making him question his own sexuality was cruel.
He pulled up the skirt, revealing the lacey underwear beneath. Nothing more than a thong, the other’s ass cheeks were entirely exposed and even bruised. It seemed Klaha may have been a little rougher than he ever could be. He brought his hand down with some force, appreciating the way the other moved against him. Getting into this, he slapped Mana’s ass again, not aiming to hurt but wanting the other to feel where his hand had landed against him exposed skin.
He moved his hand up, brushing up along the small tail that Mana often hid beneath his clothes. He was gentle when he touched the other now, not to be kind but to add contrast for when he spanked the other again. This time Mana let out a gasp as he landed his hits, his ass coming up for more so Kami hit him again.
“Are you enjoying this?” Kami asked, knowing perfectly well Mana was. “You really are naughty.”
“Yes,” Mana confessed. “I need to be punished.”
“That you do.” Kami confirmed, spanking Mana several more times. “Get on hands and knees on the bed.”
“Please, show me how bad I’ve been.” Mana begged as he obeyed Kami’s orders. Getting into the role now, Kami spanked Mana a few times before retrieving the lube he had got ready. He coated a finger and slid it into the other, experimenting as he went until Mana let out a quiet moan.
“You’re not meant to enjoy this.” Kami reminded him, thought they both knew this was the point. He removed his hand and spanked Mana several times for his bad behaviour before working on preparing the other again. He teased Mana’s prostrate, or at least the point that had brought Mana to moan. He ignored the other’s quiet gasps but whenever the moans started, he pulled his hand away to spank the other. Three times Mana was punished, before Kami slid in a second finger beside the first. This time Mana couldn’t hold back the moans at all, so instead of punishing him Kami continued to stretch the other until a third finger could slide beside the other two. He began to move his fingers quickly inside the other, watching as Mana moaned before him unable to remain quiet. He hadn’t expected Mana to be so vocal in the bedroom, he was usually so quiet, but it seemed Mana was sensitive or just liked to let his voice be heard. Satisfied that Mana was fully prepared, he moved his hand away and spanked Mana a few more times, stopping when he saw how red the other had become. He wondered if he had gone too far, but Mana didn’t seem to mind what was being done to him.
“Please, let me suck your cock.” Mana begged. Giving his consent, Kami undressed and put on a condom, watched nervously as Mana’s horned head approached his hard length. Those horns looked sharp and so as Mana moved his lips around him, he held onto them to keep them away from his skin. Mana was trapped in his grip but he allowed the other enough movement to do as he had previously requested. As Mana sucked at him, his long hair moved back revealing his furry pointed ears. It seemed Mana was good at hiding what made him different, though the horns Kami held would always give him away.
“Do you want to undress me?” Mana offered, as he pulled back, denying Kami the orgasm that had been so very close. Kami let go off him, allowing Mana to stand before he began to untie the laces that went down the front of the corset. The fabric revealed a toned chest, with erect nipples he couldn’t help but embrace with his mouth. He kissed them in turn, running his tongue around each one before kissing Mana’s lips tenderly. At first he had dated Mana because he wanted to know if he could, then he had all the drama with Gackt to go through, but now he could finally acknowledge that he really did like this man. They had a connection that they were taking their time to explore, but it was certainly there.
He moved his hands down Mana’s sides, resting on the others hips for a moment before he found the zip to remove the skirt. It fell to the floor, exposing the man beneath the feminine façade. Mana was all man now, hard and erect just for him. It was almost like unwrapping a gift, Kami thought as he help Mana remove the garters and long boots that fell off quickly without support. Once naked, Mana returned to his position on the bed and without a word Kami eagerly filled the other’s body with his own hard length. He’d never done this before, never felt such a tight heat around him like this, it had been worth waiting for. He took Mana hard, knowing that despite his gentle nature Mana had confessed he liked sex to be a little bit rough. Encouraged by the other’s moans, he reached for Mana’s horns again, forcing the other’s head up as he took Mana for all he was worth.
He came hard, surprised by just how much he had enjoyed that. The very idea of doing this to Gackt felt wrong but with Mana he was convinced the other was getting just as much pleasure as he was.
He helped Mana cum, before straddling the other and kissing him tenderly until the other began to fall asleep on him. Carefully he moved himself from the other, pulling the blanket over the Gazelle-Kim before slipping away to shower. He felt energised by what they had just done but most of all he felt happy. He had proven to himself that he was able of dating two men. Gackt had been right, it was easier to understand polyamory if you indulged in it yourself. He finally understood that Gackt taking Hyde back was not an insult. He was exploring his options and wasn’t that the whole point?
Gackt and Kami were in a heated debate over the film they had just seen as the stallion walked him back to his dorm. It was nice they could argue like this, a mutual agreement that they couldn’t expect each other to always conform to their ideas. It was the next stage of the relationship Kami supposed, he found that he quite enjoyed it. He did however stop when he noticed the man inside the entrance to his dorms.
He was older than the students, well into his fifties with red hair touched with grey that had been cut relatively short but still had a little length to it. His wings were as blue as Kami’s own, a perfect match, just like his smile. In fact, this man looked so very much like Kami that there was no denying that they were related.
“Uncle!” Kami exclaimed as he excitedly hurried to the other man. His mother’s brother was just like him and since he had turned thirteen the other had frequently come to visit him. The visits had begun to slow as Kami got older but he still kept in touch and thought of the man as like a second father. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”
“I didn’t know myself,” The man said, giving Gackt a curious look. “Is this your boyfriend?”
“Did Mum tell you?” Kami asked, having not shared his sexuality with his uncle. He’d been worried the older man would judge him, but his uncle didn’t seem to mind at all. “This is Gackt.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” The older man greeted the stallion. He gave Gackt another curious look before politely asking him to leave so that he could talk to Kami alone. Unoffended, Gackt did as requested though it was clear he secretly wanted to stay. “Will your roommate be in?”
“No,” Kami answered. “He’s supposed to be at a birthday party for one of his friends.”
“Then we will go to your dorm to talk.” His uncle declared. It wasn’t like him to want such privacy and Kami began to grow worried. He led the other to his room, surprised when his uncle didn’t even look at the collection of samurai models he had on his shelf. His uncle loved Japanese history as much as he did, it wasn’t like him not to show interest.
“Is something wrong?” Kami asked nervously.
“Your mother sent me here,” His uncle explained. “She’s heard things from your lecturer that has her concerned. I promised I’d check on things. Is everything ok?”
“Everything is good,” Kami reassured him. “I think I know which lecturer she means. He has a problem with Gackt, says he’s trouble but he really isn’t!”
“You really like him?” His uncle asked. “Of course you do. We Butterfly-Kin are heartbreakers after all. We fall in love, give everything to our partners but then want to experience romance all over again. I fluttered from woman to woman when I was your age, it can’t be helped. It’s out nature to want to experience love over and over again.”
“You think Gackt and I are doomed to fail?” Kami asked. “That it will be my fault?”
“Is it not true that you have a second man?” His uncle asked.
“It’s called polyamory.” Kami began nervously. What was his uncle going to make of this? Still, he couldn’t lie, the older man saw right through him. He truly was just an older version of himself. As he talked, he gained confidence as his uncle nodded along. He realised that perhaps his uncle had settled into a similar lifestyle, he never had married.
“It seems my visit wasn’t needed,” his uncle finally answered. “If this is making you happy, then live your life as you wish. We’re already different, no need to try and conform to what is considered normal. That route would only lead to misery.”
“You have several girlfriends, don’t you?” Kami guessed. “That’s why you’re not even surprised.”
“A butterfly needs to experience as much love as possible in his lifetime.” His uncle confirmed, finally getting up to look at the samurai models. With his back to Kami, the long raised scars on his back came visibly. He’d hacked off his own wings as a boy, only to have them to grow right back. Other-Kin could never change what they were, no matter what surgery or methods they tried. He commented on a few of the models, before nervously turning to Kami. “There’s one other thing. Your mother isn’t very well, which is why she sent me. I thought it best to tell you in person.”
“Shouldn’t you have started with that?” Kami demanded. “Is it serious?”
“They don’t know yet,” His uncle explained. “She’s had a few dizzy spells so they’re running tests. I wouldn’t worry, the doctors will figure it out I’m sure.”
“How can I not worry?” Kami demanded. Shocked he sat on his bed and wondered what he could possibly do. His uncle tried to reassure him that everything was fine, but his mother sending his brother to tell him told him otherwise. He only had two family members who accepted the way he was, he couldn’t lose either of them.
Kami approached his family’s home with a racing heart. He was terrified, not of the judgment of the watching neighbours or the thought of meeting his father, but of the condition his mother might be in. Despite his uncle telling him not to worry, he had asked Gackt to take him straight to the house.
The doorbell rang inside the home, alerting the family of his presence. He glanced back at Gackt, who was waiting by his bike, about to call the other over. Perhaps it was best for Gackt to be with him? The door opened suddenly, to reveal a dark-haired man with two very young children behind him. His brother and sister? He hadn’t even known they existed. What else had his mother being keeping from him?
“Kami?” The man, his father, said stunned. “You look just like your uncle.”
“I need to see her.” Kami said stubbornly, his father nodded and stepped out of his way. He directed Kami to the living room, where his mother sat looking a little pale but otherwise well. She was as stunned to see her son as her husband, but she accepted Kami’s embrace warmly.
“Ukyou,” she said gently as she held onto him. “And this is Gackt?”
“Yes.” Kami said, turning to find Gackt in the doorway. Perhaps his father had asked him inside, probably not wanting a Horse-Kin visibly loitering in the front garden. “Uncle said you were sick?”
“Just fatigue and some fainting spells.” His mother said, as if it was perfectly normal for a person to just faint. It did nothing to relieve Kami’s concerns but he was glad to see she was still in good spirits. He wanted to bring up his siblings, to demand why he hadn’t even known they existed, but his father was ordering him into the dining room. Nervously he left his mother to face his father, expecting the other to scold him for turning up here.
“She’s putting on a brave front,” His father said quietly, “We don’t know what it is yet I’m afraid.”
“I feel so helpless.” Kami admitted. He hadn’t spoken to this man since he was a child, he’d once respected and admired him but now he just saw a broken man who’s only concern was for the wellbeing of his wife.
“That would be my fault,” His father said, surprising Kami as he wrapped his arms awkwardly around him. “I sent you away. Blamed you for what is so obviously not your fault. When I had money trouble, I blamed you for that too. I forgot that you were my son but seeing you now, looking so very much like your mother’s child, I realise how very wrong I have been.”
“Father?” Kami said, entirely taken back. He’d been prepared for angry words, demands to leave, not this.
“I should have visited you. Watched you grew into such a fine young man,” his father continued. “I failed you.”
“I have a brother and sister, nobody bothered to tell me.” Kami accused, hurt rather than angry. Once again his father apologised and whilst it wasn’t enough to forgive what had been done, at very least it was a sign that going forward he was going to try and make amends. They talked for a good hour, sharing stories and getting to know each other all over again. When he returned to the living room he found his mother had excused herself to bed and Gackt was entertaining the two young kids. His siblings, it was strange to think of them like that but that was exactly what they were.
“You know, they may be Butterfly-Kin too.” He told his father quietly. His father nodded, it was clear he had once worried about just that.
“If they grow up like you, then they’ve grown up well.” His father declared. With that, he went over to formally greet Gackt as Kami went to join his mother once more. They were a family again, Kami realised, just as long as his mother pulled through.
The next few days were difficult. He had returned to the university but every night he called his parents to see how his mother was doing. The results from the mother’s tests were a welcome relieve, it was just low blood pressure and easily treated. She was going to be all right! Delighted Kami rushed to Gackt’s dorm, knowing the other liked to study on a Thursday night but needing to share his news in person.
If Gackt was concerned that he had been disturbed, he didn’t show it. Welcoming Kami in and sharing the other’s joy that his mother was going to be well. It was a weight of his shoulders and with it gone Kami could hardly contain his happiness. Enthusiastically he wrapped his arms around Gackt, kissing him passionately as his wings fluttered behind him. When they broke for breath, Gackt tried to tease him but before the words were out Kami was kissing the other again.
This wasn’t his time with Gackt but the rules weren’t set in stone. He wanted to celebrate and he knew Gackt didn’t mind being spontaneous. He helped Gackt out of his shirt, before falling to his knees and running his hand over the bulge before him. So large even when not erect. He smiled seductively at the other, as it occurred to him Gackt may not be in the mood. It was clear that wasn’t the case, Gackt was more than happy to let him play, even handing him one of the flavoured condoms he had begun to love. He helped Gackt to arousal before freeing the hard length and placing the condom over it. He still hadn’t mastered the blow-job, even when trying with Mana’s, but he had mastered how to please a man with his mouth without taking in the full length. He sucked at the tip, using both hands to stroke the base and balls, loving every inch of flesh and feeling Gackt’s pleasure almost as if it was his own.
“We need to give you good news more often.” Gackt got out before he gave a soft moan of contentment. Kami ran his tongue from base to tip before he replied, loving the way his touch was affecting the other.
“Perhaps I should let you study?” Kami suggested. “I mean, it’s not fair for me to just turn up here and expect you to put up with me.”
“Well studying is important.” Gackt agreed, with one hand gently guiding Kami’s head back towards his crotch. The message was clear, he no longer had no intention to study anything but their mutual affection. Excitedly Kami returned to pleasuring the other, using hands, lips, mouth and tongue to savour the length before him. He helped Gackt cum, smiling as he took in his stallion’s expression.
He used his wings to help him stand, undressing himself as Gackt carefully disposed of the condom. They’d only just begun, that was the warm up act, a quick release of pleasure before they got going. It was Gackt’s turn to drop to his knees now, to place the condom over his length and slowly engulf his arousal until Gackt’s lips were pressed against his balls. He didn’t know how Gackt could deep throat like that, even the advice the other gave him didn’t help. Clearly there was some biological difference at play but Gackt didn’t seem to care that he couldn’t do this. If anything, he seemed to enjoy the way Kami carried out the favour in his own way.
Kami moaned as Gackt sucked his length, gasping as a finger entered him, preparing him for what was to come. He watched as Gackt engulfed him, as eager as Kami had been to give this pleasure. His wings fluttered and he hovered a little from the ground, it’d become a running joke between them that one day he may just float away but it wasn’t like Kami could really control it. When he got excited, he began to fly. Gackt’s left hand wrapped around the hair near his waist, his right still stretching him in such delightful ways and that mouth, it was a mouth of the god of pleasure. Or so Kami was beginning to believe.
He had to focus on his wings now, for if they fluttered too fast he felt the pull of Gackt’s grip on his hair. The slight pain did nothing to stop the pleasure, if anything it enhanced it and he moaned all the more. He came with a gasp, unable to hold out any longer and not wanting to hold back pleasure anyway.
“You want to fly, you can fly.” Gackt ordered, placing a new condom on his hard arousal and giving Kami a seductive smile. For a moment Kami wondered what he meant but then shyly he raised himself up and wrapped his arms and legs around Gackt’s torso. His wings stilled as Gackt entered him but then he fluttered them slightly to rise and fall. It was easy enough, his grip on Gackt helped, and the couple enjoyed the intimate embrace. He kissed Gackt multiple times, the position a little awkward for pleasure but certainly fun to try.
With that thought, Kami let go and made his way to the bed, where he moved onto hands and knees to wait for his lover. This was his favourite position, the one that suited both of them. Sure enough, Gackt came to them, their bodies joining like two pieces of a jigsaw. Gackt was deeper inside him now, with far more control but that was always how their relationship had been.
Gackt’s pace was slow, as he focused on running his fingers along Kami’s wings. He trusted the other completely and the sensations were the most arousing when they were like this. He began to cry out, needing more than was offered but at the same time not wanting Gackt to stop what he was doing right now. It was a strange sort of paradox but as Gackt increased the pace he knew there was no contradiction at all. The only thing he wanted was Gackt.
He fluttered his wings again, lifting his arms from the bed as he hovered in the perfect position. He was getting good at this, his flight skills had really had to improve as he incorporated them into their sex lives. The couple were both moaning now, locked together in pure delight. This never got old, never got boring, always Kami would submit to Gackt’s will and it seemed the other gave into his desires just as quickly.
By the time they both came, Kami fell exhausted against the bed. It burned so much energy to fly, why he didn’t go more than a short distance, but it had been worth it for tonight. Especially because Gackt had such an obsession with his wings.
“Are you going to just lie facedown in the middle of the bed?” Gackt teased. It was exactly what he was going to do. The thought of moving now was too much.
“Sleepy.” He muttered. He felt a hand tracing over his ass and then Gackt was gone, the sounds of the shower turning on suggesting he hadn’t gone too far. Happily, Kami snuggled into the sheets, smelling the lingering scent left there by Gackt as he drifted into a meditative state that was not quite sleep but not quite awake either. He was aware of Gackt returning, finding the strength now to role over onto his side. When he opened his eyes, he watched Gackt lay beside him and accept the kiss from the other. They were two, bound together against the world, though they both knew that there would be many other lovers to come. His uncle was right, he did enjoy the thrill of a new love and would want to experience it over and over again but Gackt wasn’t going to be a partner he would ever get bored of and cast aside. Gackt was his one, the man he had formed an unbreakable link with and a relationship like that could only ever be forever.
“What are you thinking about?” Gackt asked, as he traced a finger up Kami’s arm.
“Nothing,” Kami lied. “Except that perhaps I should leave soon. Friday is You’s day after all.”
“He’s coming for breakfast,” Gackt remembered. “But I’m sure he won’t mind you joining us.”
“I won’t impose,” Kami promised. “But I’m so tired. I’ll leave in the morning.”
“Well wait for me to wake up,” Gackt teased, “You know how I feel about you running off when I sleep.”
“I only did it once!” Kami protested but he found himself promising to stay until Gackt had woken up. That time was already one time too many to run away from a man like the one beside him. He wasn’t going to make that mistake again, or the mistake of not expressing his feelings completely. Communication, trust and empathy, that was all they needed to make polyamory work and with Gackt they now had all three in abundance. Truly, he wasn’t like the others, he had found acceptance of what he was. More than acceptance, when it came to being Butterfly-Kin, he was beginning to feel proud and it was all thanks to the stallion beside him. They weren’t monsters, just different.