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Not Your Sam

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Disclaimer: Don’t own them.

Chapter 1

Sam closed his eyes as he fell further away from where he could hear his brother screaming for him, a few tears falling. He would never see Dean again never be called Bitch affectionately or have Dean dump cold water on him when he tried to sleep in. It hurt so much, more than when Dean had died since he had always held out hope for Dean getting out. But there was no way out for him, not without breaking the Seals again and freeing Lucifer. He could feel the angel beginning to regain control and didn’t even bother to fight him, what was the point? It would probably be better having him in control in hell after all. He could feel Michael falling somewhere nearby and felt a little bad for Adam but he had said yes, had wanted to fight. But he could feel something else…Lucifer was doing something, building power. And then the world dissolved in pain and heat.

Sam gasped and writhed as his lungs struggled to pull in air. He coughed and rolled onto his side, curling into a ball as he whimpered in pain. Everything hurt….even his hair! He lay there, shaking and trying to breathe normally. It seemed to take forever but finally the pain began to fade and he forced his eyes open to find himself in a familiar graveyard. He uncurled and pushed himself into a sitting position only to find he was totally naked except for an intricate and rather delicate golden chain around his neck. He pulled it up to stare at a rather interesting vial, one that looked scarily like the one Anna had been looking for. He closed his eyes and found he couldn’t hear or feel Lucifer and yet he still felt…different. The vial only pulsed very dimly, as if there was only the tiniest amount of Grace within. But how had it appeared in the first place. He tried to remove it but it would not come off. He sighed and looked down to find his tattoo still in place at least. He staggered to his feet and looked around, there was nothing to suggest a battle for humanity had ever taken place or any sign of how he had somehow been brought back. He took a deep breath, seeing it mist in the air and frowned, if it was that cold he should be shivering and yet he didn’t feel cold. Nevertheless he needed clothes and fast, the thing he needed was to be taken in for public nudity. And then he stared down in shock as he found himself fully dressed though still unarmed.

How was this possible? He swallowed in fear and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath even as he searched within himself. Surely only an angel could do that but he still couldn’t find a trace of Lucifer’s presence. So how had he done that? He swallowed and fought to remain calm. Dean, he had to find Dean but was that safe? What if he had come back wrong or something? Okay so no Dean…Bobby; he would go to Bobby’s. He would be able to test him and figure it out. He’d had the books on angels after Dean came back after all. Getting to Bobby’s would require a car which he didn’t have so he would have to hotwire one, that was always more Dean’s thing than his but he could do it.

Sam pulled into the familiar scrapyard and stopped the car, staring around in confusion. What the hell had happened? Where were all the wrecks? He and Dean used to play in those when their Dad left them with the hunter but now the yard was clear except for the old shed. How long had he been gone? He felt a thrill of fear, what if it had been decades or more? No, he couldn’t think like that. He got out of the car and took a deep breath before heading for the house. Someone was home and he smiled as he spotted Bobby’s car, hopefully that meant it was still him living there. Sam hesitated before finally moving to knock on the door, heart pounding in his chest. He strained to hear any movement and was surprised to find he could…feel someone moving around inside. Soon that presence reached the door and Sam steeled himself for the worst but was utterly relieved when Bobby was revealed behind the door. “Hey Bobby.” He managed a shaky smile for the older hunter only for a shotgun to come up in his face. He backpedalled, hands up in surrender. “Bobby…”

“You damn monster! How dare you look like him.” Bobby snarled.

“Bobby no, it’s me. It’s Sam.” He told him, he wasn’t sure what a shotgun would do to him now and wasn’t all that eager to find out. “Do any test you want but it’s me. I know I should be dead but I’m not.”

“Sam Winchester is dead you bastard.” Bobby denied.

“Soak me in holy water, cut me with silver, anything. Please, give me a chance. I don’t know what’s going on.” He pleaded and saw the slight hesitation in Bobby’s eyes. “Please Uncle Bobby.” He hadn’t called the man that since he was about twelve. That made the gun waiver slightly.

Bobby stared at the being on his doorstep. He wanted to believe this was Sam somehow returned to them but that was impossible. The dead didn’t just suddenly rise without something like a demon deal or worse. But looking into those familiar hazel eyes he couldn’t deny that he acted like Sam. Every instinct he had said to shoot but his heart said no. He took a deep breath; it was offering to undergo testing but was that just a way to get close? “Don’t move.” He ordered and it nodded, lowering its arms to hang by its sides. Bobby edged back inside and grabbed a flask of Holy Water, tossing it over him. He closed his eyes to avoid getting water in them but other than that didn’t react. “Walk inside slowly and get in the there.” Bobby indicated the trap and it slowly moved inside.

“You want me to show I’m not trapped or just stay in here for now?”

“Stay.” He ordered, going to silver and some other things. He had it extend an arm and gave the skin a shallow cut, watching as human red blood seeped out. Then he went to work with the really in depth testing only for all to show the same result, human. “Step out of the circle.” He finally said and watched as it did so.

“Any other tests?” Sam asked, feeling a little achy from everything. Obviously something about him had reacted a little too at least one of them but not enough to show him as more than human.

“This is…..Sam?” Bobby asked and Sam nodded.

“It’s me Bobby.” Sam smiled at him and then cautiously took a step towards him. Bobby watched him warily, tensing slightly but then Sam hugged him, shaking slightly. Bobby waited for something bad to happen and when it didn’t he hugged back.

“This is….you died Sam, I saw you die in Dean’s arms. How is this possible?” Bobby asked as he stepped back and Sam frowned.

“Dean’s arms? Bobby what do you mean? I jumped.”

“Jumped where? That bastard Jake killed you!” Bobby snapped and Sam’s eyes went wide even as he stumbled back.

“What? No that was years ago. I jumped to stop Lucifer killing Dean. Bobby what year is it? Where’s Dean?” Sam demanded in fear.


Chapter Text

Disclaimer: Not mine

Chapter 2

Sam stared at Bobby and confusion, this just didn’t make sense. He was talking like Sam had been dead since Jake had killed him that that wasn’t right. So what the hell was going on? The look of suspicion on Bobby’s face didn’t make things better. Sam moved to sit on the couch and closed his eyes in thought. “Bobby when you say Jake…you mean Cold Oak?”

“Well where else would I mean?” The hunter demanded.

“But Dean brought me back Bobby, he made the deal.”

“What deal?” Bobby demanded and Sam just stared at him in confusion.

“What do you remember happening?” He tried.

“You vanished. Dean somehow got a vision of where you were and we headed for Cold Oak. Got there in time to catch the end of your fight with Jake and Dean yelled for you. The bastard got up and…Dean caught you and I went after Jake but…there was nothing we could do. We buried you three days later; Dean wouldn’t do the right thing and burn your….body. That was three years ago.” Bobby forced himself to stay unemotional as he retold what had happened to Sam. Losing the boy had hurt so much and now seeing him……had dying messed with his memories? He stared at him, seeing the confusion in his eyes. “Don’t you remember what happened Sam? What do you remember?” He asked more gently and Sam swallowed, leaning back into his old couch. “Sam?”

“I…this is……” Sam let his head fall into his hands.

“Sam?” Bobby called, getting worried.

“This doesn’t make sense.” He muttered and then looked up at Bobby. “All up to Jake killing me is what I remember but the rest…it didn’t happen like that. Dean sold his soul to bring my back and got a year to live. We tried but in the end…I watched my brother ripped to shreds by hellhounds.” Sam paused, still able to hear Dean’s screams as claws ripped into his vulnerable flesh. “Four months later Dean was pulled from hell by an angel but it was too late, he…he’d broken the First Seal. We spent a year rushing around trying to stop them but in the end sixty six seal broke, freeing Lucifer. We spent another year trying to fix things, even got a trip to Heaven courtesy of some angels in an effort to make us toe the party line.”

“Party line?”

“Angels are like demons in that on earth they have to possess a human body. The difference if the vessel has to say yes. And they have ‘true vessels’, humans whose bodies can handle their power without falling apart. Dean was Michaels Sword, his vessel and I…I was Lucifer’s. And neither of them played fair but we kept saying no. In the end they brought Adam back for Michael.”


“Our half-brother. He died about eight months after Dean came back. Turns out Dad had been in the town hunting ghouls and ended up with his nurse after he was hurt. But the ghoul had kids and they….they killed her and Adam before we ever got to meet him. The ghouls called Dad looking to kill him and got us instead. So the Angels brought him back and promised to bring his mom back if he let Michael use him. We found a way to lock Lucifer back up but…it meant I had to say yes. But I wasn’t strong enough to hold him, not at first. Not till….Dean wouldn’t leave so Lucifer….I managed to stop before killing Dean and I opened the Cage and I jumped. I knew it’d mean being trapped forever but I had to, I didn’t want to.” Sam choked.

“If that happened then how could you be here?”

“I don’t know. I stopped fighting as we were falling and Lucifer took control. He was doing something but I don’t know what. There was pain and then I was back in the graveyard where I’d opened the cage and I couldn’t feel Lucifer anymore. I didn’t know how long it’d been so I came here. But something’s wrong…how can we remember different events? What the hell was Lucifer trying to do?” He groaned and then swallowed. “If you remember me being…Dean, Bobby where is he?”

“Not here. And until we work this out I won’t be calling him.” The hunter stated calmly. There was no way he was going to try and contact Dean until he was sure about this Sam. And with what they knew not adding up he was starting to get worried. He believed Sam was human and unpossessed but maybe whatever had brought him back had done something to him. He would not put Dean through that emotional rollercoaster. It was bad enough that he may eventually have to kill Sam himself depending on what they figured out.

It hurt to hear that but Sam nodded, he understood Bobby’s reasoning. “Is he okay?”

“He’s alive and hunting.” He could at least give him that much.

Sam relaxed at the knowledge his brother was still alive. “Hey Bobby, what happened to your yard?”

“What do you mean?”

“All the wrecks are gone.”

“The wrecks? I stopped being a mechanic years ago, before you boys ever came here.”

“Dean and I used to play in the wrecks when Dad would leave us here.” Sam argued, this was just getting stranger and stranger.

Bobby shook his head. “They were long gone by the time your Daddy brought you here. You were six the first time and Dean would always argue he was too old to play.”

“So what the hell is going on?” Sam groaned.

“You are human as far as I can tell. But that’s no proof you are actually Sam.”

Sam looked at him in shock. “What? Bobby it’s me.”

“You look like Sam but as just proved your memories don’t fully match up with events. Sam’s body was buried, could be something gave it life without bringing the soul back which might explain messed up memories. Or you have a soul, just not Sam’s so memories were implanted….”

“Or whatever Lucifer was trying to do went seriously wrong…no, no way.” Sam shook his head in denial. It just wasn’t possible, was it? If that was the case….


“I think he messed up, big time. Instead of keeping us out of the cage he sent us….sideways I guess you could say. I am Sam Winchester, just….not your Sam Winchester.” He whispered in shock. That would explain why Lucifer was gone and why it’d hurt so much. He slumped on the couch, he didn’t want this. He wanted his family. Obviously things had happened differently here, from some major events to even some minor things. “I…I should go. I don’t belong here.” He stood up shakily.

Bobby stood and grabbed his arm. “Sit your ass down boy and explain what’s going on in your head.”

“This isn’t...don’t you get it? This isn’t my world! I’m not the Sam you lost! And you aren’t the Bobby I saw stab himself to get rid of the demon riding around in you. You’ve never been stuck in a wheelchair.” Sam pulled away from him, it hurt so much. For a short time he had thought, had hoped, but this wasn’t his world. And without Lucifer he had no way home.


Chapter Text

Disclaimer: Still don’t own them

Chapter 3

Bobby just stared at him in confusion. Not his world? “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Alternate realities, dimensions, whatever you want to call it. This isn’t my world. I don’t belong here.”

“There’s no such thing.” He denied and Sam laughed.

“Yeah right, after being tossed around by The Trickster also known as Loki who was actually the Archangel Gabriel I can say definitely that they do exist. And it explains why it seems Lucifer burnt himself out.”

“So you’re saying you are Sam Winchester, just not the Sam we know?”

“Yeah.” Sam took a deep breath and moved away from Bobby to stare out the window. This wasn’t his world so what did he do now? If an Archangel killed himself to get him here then getting home would take more power than he could possible access. But was Lucifer actually dead and gone for good? After all he had that strange vial around his neck. Sam sighed and rested his head against the wall. “I’m sorry Bobby, I wish I was your Sam back but I’m not. Don’t tell Dean, I don’t want to hurt him with this.” Sam whispered and then he left the house.

“Sam! Get back here!” Bobby yelled, running after him only to watch the fading lights of the car Sam must have stolen. This was not good.

Sam drove as long as he could which was a surprisingly long time before he had to stop and find a motel. Of course to pay for it he ended up swiping a stranger’s wallet for his cash. He collapsed into bed, curling into a tight ball as he fought the urge to cry. He wanted his brother! He missed him so much and it hurt so badly. He just prayed Dean survived the beating he had received at Lucifer’s hands, his hands. He should never have suggested that stupid plan but it had seemed like the only way to stop Lucifer. But had there been another way? They’d never know now.

Bobby stared at the phone, weighing up all of the options and everything he knew. In the end there was no other choice. The odds of them running into each other were astronomical but these were Winchester’s so the odds didn’t always work the right way. Picking up the phone he dialled a familiar number and prayed the boy would actually answer for once. But his prayers went unanswered as the call went to voicemail. “Dean it’s Bobby. You need to call me as soon as you get this. It’s…it’s about Sam.” He hung up and sighed. That was all he could do, he had no way to track either of them down. He just hoped Dean answered him before managing to run into Sam and that Sam managed to stay away from any hunters that may recognise him.

Dean banged on the door angrily. He was more than a little pissed at Bobby. How dare he bring up Sam after so long. A few seconds later the door opened and Dean pushed inside. “How dare you.”

“Shut up and sit down Dean.” Bobby growled before tossing him a flask of holy water which Dean drank from. “You think I’d bring him up without a very good reason boy? The two of you were family!”

Dean took a deep breath and sat down. Bobby was right; Dean had seen him grieving for Sam. “Sorry.” He muttered and Bobby nodded. “So why?”

“Because he showed up on my doorstep a week ago.”

“That isn’t funny.”

“No, it isn’t but he did. I did every test I could think of, even made a few up. All the results said human.”

“Sam’s been dead for three years, nothing could bring him back.”

“I know. I…I went to his grave and dug it up after.”

“You what?” Dean went white, in anger or fear he didn’t know.

“It’s not empty.” Bobby said before he could ask. He wouldn’t tell Dean what his brother’s body looked like after so long, he didn’t need the nightmares.

“But you said…”

“I know. He is Sam but not Sam.” Bobby slumped into a seat. “He even called me Uncle Bobby like…the way he put it is that he is Sam Winchester, just not our Sam Winchester. He remembers several events differently, like you making a deal after he died to bring him back.”

“I….I nearly did. I came so close but I knew Sammy would kill me if I did. He wouldn’t have wanted me condemning myself to hell.” Dean choked out.

“Well this Sam watched you torn to shreds by hellhounds.”

“But how?” Dean growled.

“Not entirely sure, he said something about angels and alternate dimensions.”

“There’s no such thing as angels!”

“I don’t know Dean. All I know is that every test I ran says he is human and….you didn’t see him Dean. He honestly believes he is Sam Winchester.”

“So where the hell is he?”

“Gone. He ran out of here after he worked that out. I’ve tried finding him but it’s a big country and he’s laying low.”

“Damn it!” Dean swore and got up to pace. “There has to be a way to find him.”


“To get answers!” Dean snapped.

“He asked about you, all I told him was you were alive and hunting. That was before we realised things didn’t add up.”

“I’ll find him.” Dean got up to leave and Bobby groaned.

“Be careful.” All Bobby could do was pray things would work out.

Sam stood in an empty field and took a deep breath. “Castiel!” He yelled, putting all his knowledge of the angel and what power he could feel inside himself behind the call. If anyone could give him answers it would be an angel, he hoped. He waited calmly for a response; he had the necessary equipment to summon him if Castiel didn’t respond. He figured he would need time to find a vessel before answering so was content to wait. When he’d waited for nearly six hours he began setting things up for the summoning. Once done he did the ritual and then settled in to wait again.

“Samuel Winchester is dead. Who are you?” A familiar voice asked and Sam turned to find Castiel standing there in a younger Jimmy and without his trademark trench coat.


Chapter Text

Disclaimer: Not mine

Chapter 4

Sam stared at the angel he had once called friend, taking in the difference to the Castiel he knew. This one had never laid siege to Hell, had never died or lost his connection to Heaven and so he had no reason to doubt what Heaven did. “The Samuel Winchester of this reality or dimension is yes. But if you take a closer look at me you will realise that I am Sam Winchester, just not this one.”

Castiel stared at the young man before him. Such things were not possible and yet…he searched the man and found that he truly was Samuel Winchester. But such travel was considered impossible by any other than an Archangel. And then he felt the lingering Grace within the mortal….tainted, dark Grace. “What are you?” He asked in confusion.

Sam sighed and shrugged. “I don’t know anymore. I was Lucifer’s Vessel but I can’t feel him anymore, not since shortly after throwing us back into the Cage anyway.”

“I can feel his tainted Grace lingering within you as well as the blood of demons. Explain.” Castiel demanded and Sam sighed but did so. Castiel was shocked by what he heard; he had been killed and then cut off from Heaven? How could he have done so for two humans? “Why did you call me?”

“Because I was hoping you might know how to get me home or be able to tell me what I am now and what this means.” Sam indicated the vial.

Dean slumped down on the bed; he had tried everything to find this other Sam but nothing. He had to find him, see him for himself. He bowed his head, staring at the carpet even as a few tears fall. He missed his Sammy so much, missed hunting side by side and then curling together in bed to sleep or have fun. Holding Sam in his arms as the life drained from his body…it would haunt him until he died. He got up and dug out his Dad’s journal, slipping the photo out of it, staring at the last picture he had of him and Sam together. It had been taken four days before Sam had been taken to Cold Oak. A sudden knock at his door startled him and he quickly put the photo and journal away before grabbing a gun and going to the door. He opened it a crack and froze.

“Can I come in?” Sam asked and Dean swallowed before opening the door and backing away to see if he could cross the wards. Sam walked inside and looked around, seeing only one bed and Dean’s things scattered around.

“Sa……I….” Dean didn’t know what to say or do and Sam gave him a sad smile.

“I’m not your Sam just like you’re not my Dean. But I…I missed you.” Sam whispered.

Dean stared at him, taking in the difference that time had made in his baby brother. His hair was longer, shaggy, his body more muscled and his hazel eyes were dimmer somehow, like he’d seen and done far more than his Sam ever had. Dean took a deep breath and then reached out to touch him. He was definitely real. “But you are Sam.”


“So what happens now?” Dean asked, sitting back on the bed even as Sam sat at the small table under the window.

Sam shrugged. “Well it looks like I’m stuck here permanently. So the question is do you want me around?”

“I want to say yes.” Dean admitted. “But…”

“But I remind you of him, your Sam.” He finished for him. He took out a card and put it on the table. “My contact details. You can call me or not whenever you want.” He offered and Dean nodded. Sam got up and put his hands in his pockets looking awkward even as he moved towards the door.

“Sammy.” Dean called and Sam turned back to him. “Be careful.”

Sam flashed him a grin. “Always.” He moved towards Dean and hugged him briefly before leaving.

Sam collapsed on his bed. Seeing this Dean hurt. Physically he seemed almost identical to his Dean, other than the scar on his cheek. He dressed the same, even down to the amulet Sam had given him as a child. The question was would he ever call him? Not to mention the fact that this Dean had no clue over Sam’s…odd blood make up. Or the both of them being angelic vessels, not that it mattered here with Sam being dead. No one able to kill Lilith to undo the Final Seal. It was nice to know he wouldn’t have to deal with the Apocalypse here at least. Most of the big threats appeared to either be dead or not causing any problems at the moment. So now he was a bit lost as what to do. He could track down Lilith, maybe even Crowley and make sure they would never be a threat to Dean but would that stir up more problems for Dean and Bobby? He groaned and closed his eyes. Why couldn’t life be easy?

“I met him Bobby.” Dean admitted before taking a drink from his beer bottle.

“You found him?”

“No, he tracked me down to meet.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing much. Made an idiot out of myself and he left his number so I can call if I want.”

“Will you?”

“I….I don’t know. Seeing him, who Sammy could have been, it hurts Bobby.” He admitted softly.

“I know son. The question is will it hurt more not having him in your life?”

Dean stared at his phone and the card before slowly dialling the number and putting it to his ear.


“Sam.” Dean licked suddenly dry lips.

“Is something wrong?”

“No. I just…are you okay? Got everything you need?”

On the other end of the phone Sam smiled softly at the question. “I’m fine Dean. Had to uh, pick some pockets for money at first, stole a car. But I’m getting there. Even managed to get some id.”

“Good, that’s good.”

“So are you on a hunt?”

“Just finished.” Dean answered, wincing as his stitches pulled.

“Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine.”

“How bad is it?” Sam asked, able to tell from what Dean said and how.

Dean sighed. “Just a few stitches.”


“Are you hunting?” Dean asked and Sam chuckled.

“Of course. Gotta keep up the family business.”

“I’ve got a hunt in Seattle, we could, I mean if you’re interested…we could do it together?” Dean offered awkwardly.

“You want to hunt together? Really?”

“Yes.” Dean stated firmly.

“Okay. So I guess I’ll meet you there.”

“Yeah. I better get some sleep.”

“I’ll see you soon Dean. Look after yourself.”

“You too.” Dean hung up and put the phone down, hoping he had done the right thing.


Chapter Text

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter 5

Dean leant against the Impala as he waited for Sam to arrive. He hadn’t even checked into the motel, unsure what to do. With his Sam he would have known and have gotten them a room with one bed. But this wasn’t his Sam. Maybe this Sam and his Dean had slept in different rooms’ altogether! He didn’t want to do something to make him leave. He knew this wasn’t his brother but he also was and he didn’t want to lose anything of Sam again. Was this what his Sam would have become had he lived long enough? He had seen in his eyes that this Sam was harder than his, had been through so much more than his little brother had. But that made sense since he had lived several years more than his Sam had. Dean shook his head and ran a hand through his hair, trying to think of something else even as an older model car pulled in and parked beside him. He couldn’t help tensing slightly in anticipation as the driver’s door opened. Sure enough Sam Winchester stood from the car and smiled at him making Dean’s heart pound, he knew that smile so well. “Hey.” Sam greeted and Dean nodded.

“Hey. I uh…haven’t checked in yet. Wasn’t sure what you wanted to do about sleeping arrangements.”

Sam cocked his head to the side, remembering the sole bed in the room where they’d met. Dean was obviously used to sleeping alone now but did he miss sharing a room? “It’d be easier and probably safer to get one room.” Sam offered and Dean nodded. He went into the office and soon emerged with a room key. They both grabbed their bags and went inside to find the standard two bedroom room. Sam automatically put his bag on the one farthest from the door and then sat down. “So what’s the hunt?” He asked as Dean slowly put his own bag down to dig through it before handing some newspaper clippings to him. Sam flipped through them curiously.

“Looks like a sprit to me.” Dean stated, watching him to see what he thought. He had no idea how good a hunter this Sam was.

“Maybe. But some of this doesn’t add up to spirit. The deaths are too spread out unless it’s tied to an object maybe?” Sam thought out loud and Dean couldn’t help feeling a flash of pride and also sadness. “With this many deaths why hasn’t someone already handled it?”

“Bobby passed it on and insisted I not come along…but I uh, chose to call you for it. He didn’t suggest that bit. Apparently a hunter did come but nothing’s been heard from him since.”

“Do you know who?” Sam asked, wondering if it was someone he knew.

“An old acquaintance of Bobby’s, Rufus I think.”

Sam was shocked. There was no way a simple spirit could take that old man down. It had to be something more.

“You know him? Er….”


“Yeah, we aren’t…weren’t friends or anything but he was a good hunter, very good. For him to go missing like this…”

“So much for a simple hunt to get to know each other huh?” Dean winced, he had wanted something simple to try and get to know this new Sam. But when did his plans ever work?

“It’ll be okay Dean; we’ll watch each other’s backs. Rufus was alone.” Sam pointed out even as he moved to get out something to sleep in. “You want the bathroom first?”

“You go ahead.” Dean flopped down on his bed and Sam nodded, hesitating beside his bed for a second before putting his hand on his shoulder.

“We can do this.” He assured him before going to clean up.

Dean woke suddenly, fighting back tears and cries of grief even as he forced his breathing to slow. He sat up and looked around in confusion before his eyes locked on the second bed and the figure sleeping in it. For a brief second he could fool himself into thinking it was his Sammy, that his brother had never died, but only for a second. After all if he was his Sam there would only be one bed.

“You okay?” A sleepy voice called and he felt a flash of guilt for waking the younger man. He saw him sit up in the dim light and then the lamp flickered on. “Dean?” Sam called in alarm as he saw the tears on Dean’s face. In a second he was seated beside him and gently checking him for illness or injury. “What’s wrong?” He asked gently and Dean swallowed hard at seeing so much concern on his face. No one had cared so much for him in so long that he couldn’t help what happened next. He slumped against Sam, shoulders shaking and then he felt Sam’s arms wrap around him. “It’s okay let it out, I’ve got you.” He whispered.

It didn’t take a genius to work out that his presence had triggered this and Sam felt guilty for bringing Dean’s grief back like this. Maybe it would have been better if he had never made contact. But then again maybe his presence would help Dean heal from his Sam’s death. Eventually he felt Dean go limp in his hold and gently settled him back on the pillow, tenderly wiping the reaming tears away. He had seen his Dean cry before but never like that, it had been a shock to see. He stayed by Dean’s side for another hour before going back to his own bed, they needed to be well rested before going out in the morning. Something about this had a pool of dread forming in his stomach. With his strange status he was probably harder to kill now but Dean was vulnerable to whatever was out there. He didn’t want Dean to know he wasn’t fully human anymore but if it came down to it he would do what he had to in order to keep Dean alive.


Chapter Text

Disclaimer: Not mine

Chapter 6

Dean woke up the next morning feeling groggy and with a headache but couldn’t work out why. He spotted the second bed, neatly made with a bag beside it and then he remembered, Sam. He flushed slightly in embarrassment at having cried all over him. He hadn’t cried in front of anyone since Sam had died in his arms and that had been Bobby. Great way to make an impression on this Sam. He swallowed as the bathroom door opened and Sam walked out with a towel around his waist and his hair still dripping a little. His little brother had definitely bulked up! Or had this Sam always been so built?

Sam glanced over and smiled when he saw Dean was awake. “Morning sleepy. Bathroom’s yours if you want it.” Sam slipped his underwear on under the towel and then let it drop before yanking his jeans on. He picked the towel up and used it to dry his hair more before pulling on a t-shirt.

"Thanks.” Dean mumbled and scrambled up, grabbing some clean clothes on the way while praying Sam wouldn’t look down and see evidence that he had been staring at his mostly naked body. So far Sam had done nothing to indicate their relationship had been anything more than that of siblings in his reality. He ran a cold shower, hoping to calm down. He hadn’t been with anyone since Sam had died so it wasn’t surprising he was reacting to this Sam. He took deep breaths and leant his arms and head against the shower wall. He hadn’t expected this at all.

Dean fought the urge to throw up even as Sam knelt down and looked the body over. How could he stand the sight and smell so easily. “It is…was Rufus.” He confirmed before standing up and looking at Dean. “You okay?”

"Fine." Dean answered, not looking at the body. “We need to call Bobby, let him know his friend is dead.”

“Well we know it definitely isn’t a spirit.” Sam commented as he quickly set about dealing with the remains.

"Yeah." Dean agreed as he moved away to look for clues. There wasn’t much to find though.

“Come on, let’s get out of here.” Sam gently pulled him away and back to the Impala. It was great being back in her, he had simply left his at the motel, he may have teased Dean about his obsession with the car but it was the closest thing to home he could remember. Dean’s hands were shaking slightly so Sam gently pushed him into the passenger seat and then got in the driver’s seat himself. He stopped at a bar and parked. “I think you need a drink, come on.” He urged and Dean nodded, getting out and following him inside the thankfully not too busy establishment. Sam ordered them each a beer and they grabbed a table. “You sure you’re okay?”

“ can you just shrug that off? I thought I’d seen the worst it could be but…”

“Dean….in my reality we were right in the middle of a war between Heaven and Hell. I saw you ripped apart by Hellhounds. So yes, there is worse than even that and I’ve seen most of it. I’d say you’ll get used to it but I hope you don’t see enough like that to do so.” He admitted. Dean nodded and took a big swallow from his bottle.

Sam fought back the urge to swear as he saw the little girl, he could feel the demonic evil inside her and he knew who it was. This was the same child they had tracked down the day Dean’s deal came due. And the poor thing was possessed by Lilith in the reality too. So much for none of the big threats being on the move, though technically he supposed Lilith was on ‘vacation’ again. But it did explain what was going on. Since Azazel’s plan for an army had failed when Bobby had apparently killed Jake for killing Sam the demon army had never been released. This meant hunters weren’t as used to dealing with demons in this world. That fact made it easier for demons to kill hunters, not a good thing. Well he was going to have to do something about that but dealing with Lilith came first. After all with her dead even if they managed to get someone righteous down there and make them spill blood they still wouldn’t be able to break the final Seal.

Sam took a deep breath and closed his eyes, reaching into the tainted Grace that lingered within his body. To his surprise it felt…less dark then when he first felt it but he brushed it off. Castiel had theorised that if Sam could harness the Grace then he would be able to use some Angelic abilities. It was about time he put that theory to the test. Dean was safely asleep in the motel and protected by every ward Sam knew. He felt the power fill him and it felt strange, even hurt a little but he ignored that in order to do what needed to be done. He suddenly vanished and reappeared in front of the child, placing a hand on her head. She hissed at him, eyes white. “You can’t!”

“Watch me.” Sam snarled even as he slammed that power into her. She cried out in agony as she was consumed and Sam gently caught the child’s body, desperately searching for a pulse. Glassy blue eyes flickered open and stared up at him fearfully. “It’s alright, you’re free now.” He whispered and she smiled before passing out again. Sam quickly made an anonymous 911 call and then stayed in the shadows until help arrived. He turned to leave and stumbled, suddenly exhausted and he ached all over. It appeared that using Lucifer’s Grace came with a price.

Dean woke up and then rolled out of bed, frowning when he saw Sam collapsed on the other bed fully dressed. But he had gone to bed last night. Had he snuck out? He moved closer and found Sam to be very deeply asleep. He sighed and gently pulled Sam’s shoes off. He hesitated before carefully undoing Sam’s jeans and tugging them off, the same with his jacket. Once he was in his shirt and underwear he covered him with a blanket and left to shower and then head out to get breakfast. Maybe Sam had simply been unable to sleep last night, he had noticed that Sam didn’t seem to sleep a lot. So maybe crashing like this was normal for him after several days of not really sleeping. Since the hunt seemed to be going nowhere it wouldn’t hurt to let him sleep so he got things for breakfast that could be left for a while without going cold or gross. He was almost glad the hunt was stalled since it gave him more time with Sam. Would Sam want to do more hunts together? Or would he want to strike out on his own again? There was no way to know and he didn’t know what he wanted either. So at least he had time.


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Disclaimer: Not mine

Chapter 7

Sam woke to find the motel room flooded with daylight. He groaned and rolled over but then sat up and ran a hand through his hair. He felt better than he had when he went to bed but he still felt a bit off. Obviously using what was left of Lucifer’s Grace like that was only to be done in emergencies. Looking around he spotted the cup of coffee and grinned getting up and taking a sip, exactly how he liked it. There was a note beside it from Dean, he’d gone to the local library to research. He went to the kitchenette and grabbed some food, forcing it down despite feeling a little queasy. Spotting their Dad’s journal he picked it up and flipped through it to see if anything else was different between the realities. A photo slipped out and he caught it only to stare in shocked confusion. It was of him, well the other him, and Dean leaning against the Impala. The confusing part was that Sam had his arms around Dean’s waist, leaning in to whisper something or….kiss him? What the hell? Sure they’d always been close and some people had accused them of that but what he was seeing….it did explain a bit about Dean’s reactions though. Question was what was he going to do with this knowledge?

He had never thought of Dean in that way. Yes he could admit his brother was highly attractive but he was just that, his brother. What could have happened in this world to push them towards that? Surely John hadn’t known, the man would have never accepted that. So had it been a fairly new thing when Sam had died or had they managed to hide it from their dad? The door opened and Sam froze, the picture still in his hand.

Dean walked into the motel room, happy to see Sam was up only to freeze as he saw what the younger man was holding. Where had he found that? He hadn’t wanted this Sam to see it, he had given no indication of ever having been so close in his dimension. Part of him wanted to run and avoid facing the questions he knew Sam had to have but he was frozen in place.

Sam saw the flash of feat in Dean’s eyes and that enabled him to move. He carefully put the photo back and then took a step towards his brother. “Dean?” He called softly and Dean started. “It’s okay. I…we were never that close but if you two were that’s okay. I can’t imagine how much more painful it must have made losing him and I wish I was him so you could have that back but I’m not. I honestly never even considered such a thing.” He admitted even as he gently guided Dean to a chair. Sam knelt beside it and stared up at Dean, hoping he wouldn’t throw him out for finding the photo or not feeling like that.

“You….you never?”

Sam shook his head. “I was with Jess and then after she died it took me a long time to even consider dating again and by that time we were trying to break your deal and then you were dead and Ruby was there which was a massive mistake. And you….there was Cassie, I think, while I was at College and Lisa as well. I begged you to go back to her once I was gone, I hope my Dean has so he can be happy and give up hunting.”

“You kissed me six months after Jess… together after another three months.” Dean whispered. “Don’t know who Ruby or Lisa are.”

“Lisa was a girl from just after I left for College, she had a kid so much like you that we were both positive she lied when she said she wasn’t yours. Ruby….we met her just after you made the deal. She helped us out against the demons released by Jake when he opened the gate. Eventually found out she was a demon but one that was apparently on humanities side. She kept saying I could save you but you wouldn’t let me try her way and in the end you were right. After you died….I spent most of my time drunk and then she showed up promising revenge. You can guess what happened after right?” He asked, not wanting to tell him. Dean shuddered and nodded, how could anyone knowingly sleep with a demon? “In the end it turned out she wasn’t on our side and she led me right to killing Lilith and releasing Lucifer. You came in and killed her before trying to get us out.”

So he wasn’t the only one that had retreated to a bottle for a while which was nice to know. It was weird to think that other Dean might have a kid, he’d never really wanted kids. He got on great with them but it had always been Sam that wanted the wife and kids, not him. “Are you disgusted?”

“By what? You and your Sam? No. Being with your brother is nowhere near as bad as sleeping with a demon. That picture….he really loved you, beyond anything brotherly. I’m just glad you had some happiness.” Sam assured him, reaching up to gently brush some hair further from Dean’s face. It was obvious that over the years this Dean had stopped sticking so strictly to Dad’s rules on things like hair. His Dean had always had such short hair but now it was almost as long as Sam’s had been in college! “No matter what Dean, we’re family.” He promised softly. He should tell Dean everything but something held him back.


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Disclaimer: Not mine

Chapter 8

Dean drove down the highway, fighting not to look at Sam. It was good in a way to have his suspicions confirmed that this Sam had never been with his Dean but it also hurt to realise he had no chance, not with how Sam had spoken about Jess. It had been weird hearing about the women he had been with in that world too. Sam said he was fine with it but was he really? He didn’t want to lose him, he wanted Sam with him forever even if only as brothers. He’d lived without Sam for years, it was not something he wanted to do again even if this Sam was different. This Sam was mature and confident in a way his Sam had never had the chance to become. He doubted his Sam wold have been so calm in his place when finding out they had been together if he had been as straight as this Sam apparently was.

“Everything okay?”

Dean started but looked over to find Sam watching him in concern and nodded. “Yeah, just thinking.”

“So where are we headed?”


Sam winced slightly, unsure about seeing the man again after he had bolted. He hadn’t contacted Bobby since and felt a bit bad about that since the man had been a favoured Uncle for years. “Kay.”

“It’ll be fine Sam, he’s not mad at you or anything.”

Bobby watched Sam as the young man sat on his porch absently sipping a beer. Their meeting had been a bit awkward but things had settled since then. Seeing him was hard, a reminder of the boy they had lost but it also felt good to know that somewhere Sam had survived and grown into a man. He’d been only twenty-three when he died, still working out who he was after the continual blows the Supernatural had thrown at him. His relationship with Dean after returning to hunting had helped him settle and grow but he’d still had more to do. This Sam had grown and seemed totally comfortable with himself, for the most part. And he was holding back from them, even Dean, but he couldn’t figure out what. Then again the poor kid had been ripped away from his world so who could blame him for not spilling everything.

Sam sat back and watched as Dean decimated the others players. It was a comforting, familiar sight and it felt good. It seemed that no matter what dimension Dean was an excellent player. Sam was a good player but nowhere near his brothers’ level which was why it had always been Dean who played for money. It was the least illegal way they used to generate money. Sam had never liked credit card scams but it wasn’t like hunting paid. He did have a few vague ideas on how they might begin to generate some more legitimate income but it would take a lot more thinking and planning to make it workable. He grinned slightly, who knew he would be considering following Chuck’s example. He had already checked Chuck Shirley wasn’t an author here, he was an accountant. Which meant no one had written the Supernatural books and with him writing they would really be fiction since things had happened differently. Hopefully he was a better writer than Chuck but it wasn’t his only idea so if it failed it wouldn’t be too bad. Of course he would write under a false name, he would never live it down if Dean knew.

Sam stared in shock at the book before him, oh he’d known they’d gone into publication and some had sold but it was still a shock to find the book he had written sitting before him on the shelves of the ‘Paranormal’ fiction section. Unlike Chuck he’d changed the names of the people involved, the dates and a few other things to make sure no one could complain or make the connection. But still…. wow! He was a published author! Well Michael Moore was. Things were going better than he could have hoped. He and Dean were comfortable with each other now and had fallen into an easy rhythm which was amazing. Things with Bobby were good too and there had been no sign of Angels popping in to kill him or try to start the apocalypse. And now they would have some legal income. But he knew better than to dwell on how well it was going, because that was always when something went wrong, so he would settle on feeling content.


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I know this is not what anyone wants to read but the time has come. I am sorry for this but I don't have as much time these days and I have really lost interest in Supernatural and Buffy. So a lot of fics are going up for adoption here and on Archive of Our Own.

Only two from Scififan33 – Croatian World

Not Your Sam

Kirallie – Baby Mine


Dawning Power

Double Trouble

Family Secrets Don't Always Stay in the Past

Heavenly Demon

I'll Always Save You

In the Arms of An Angel

Into the Darkness

Magic School

Naruto No Eating my Students!


Psychic Slave

To Save a Life

Please let me know if you adopt so I can send out the word and multiple people adopting the same story is fine, it means two different looks at the same idea.