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I didn't just come here to dance

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“You can’t just keep asking me about my sex life Unnie.” Jimin says, stealing one of her fries as Yoonji tries (and fails) to swat her hand away.

Yesterday’s semi-hardened fries aren’t the healthiest breakfast but Yoonji's always been counter-culture like that.

“It’s worked before, it can work again.” Yoonji says, huffing.

“That’s cuz you’ve always been hidden behind a pseudonym,” Jimin says, sitting across from Yoonji on their kitchen counter to steal more fries, which Yoonji grumbles about while shoving the box nearer her friend.

Yoonji groans into the box of fries, when she realizes that Jimin is right. Min Yoonji, up and coming erotic writer of her generation, writer of the rivetting piece The Women who Play with Wolves whose short story was taken up to be developed into a full-length erotic anthology, is, has, and might always be, a sad and horny virgin.

It’s not that there weren’t any offers. Yoonji had gone through enough soft boys and frat boys and fuck boys (wait, is there a difference?) to know that she was desirable. Hell, her body was desirable. Even if she was tiny and titless, her pale skin and cat-like eyes had all the boys swooning.

That and her reputation as the campus’ resident angry feminist (redundant! Hoseok had scoffed. All feminists are angry. You’d be too, if you weren’t benefitting from the patriarchy Yoonji had spit right back), ready to be tamed and conquered by the lucky dick that would make her scream oppa in the sheets.

Long story short, no dick has ever conquered mount Yoonji. And no dick will, because Yoonji isn’t a loser.

That doesn't make for good research, though.

“How are you going to describe the feeling? The emotions? Hell, THE SOUNDS?” Jimin squawks, breaking her out of her daydream.

“Sounds?” Yoonji squeaks.

“Don’t tell me you’ve never heard me and Tae go at it. We’re pretty loud.” Jimin says, using a fry to point at Yoonji. The fry is tempting and Yoonji leans forward to try to take a bite out of the offending piece but Jimin draws her hand back quickly and pops the fry in her mouth.

“But that’s an invasion of privacy.” Yoonji says looking down at the notepad where shes been scribbling her notes own, her face heating up.

“Trust me I think Tae would like it if you listened in. We know we sound hot.” Yoonji crosses out Ask Jimin <3 aggressively. And she's left with.... nothing.  

“That’s pervy!” Yoonji rebuts. To which Jimin replies “We do not kink shame in this house, ye who wrote ‘his massive ship caresses the cavern of my folds.’ I can’t believe miss ‘I promote women’s pleasure and emancipation through my writing’ is embarrassed by the mention of sex sounds.”

Yoonji groans again.

“Like that!” Jimin squeals in glee. “See you’re already halfway there. All you need is someone to make you feel good.”

“My pleasure isn’t dependent on someone else’s cock” Yoonji says huffing.

“Or pussy, or fingers, or tentacles, because sexuality is fluid." Jimin says, as she leans over to pinch Yoonji's cheek with her semi-greasy fingers. "And yet here we are.”

“Why can’t you just tell me about your first time and I'll go from there.” Yoonji huffs at Jimin.

Jimin doesn’t even bother with a reply, as she grabs more fries, dance diet be damned.

"Or do you not remember, cuz it's been so long" Yoonji asks, challenging.

Jimin looks at her evenly, before she replies.  “Your bluff will be called when you’re face-to-face with an actual human being.” 

“Fine I'll get info from my BL and smut collection.” Yoonji says, opening her phone to peruse her collection of manga and erotic stories.

“Or what, like porn? Like Uh-uh oppa right there, I’m so horny, slam your giant dick into me even if I’m obviously not wet enough and there wasn’t any foreplay and … ugh!” Jimin moans. It’s lewd and filthy and…

“Fake.” Yoonji says with a matching eyeball that would put Cher from Clueless to shame.

“Everything in porn is fake. You of all people should know that!”  Jimin says. “And we’re too broke to buy that” Jimin takes a dramatic pause and her tiny hands wave around to form air-quotes “feminist porn so like, we watch normal gross porn for guys and experiment from there.”

“Great now find me a hot guy whose not gonna prioritize my needs in bed and then we’ll talk.” Yoonji replies.

Jimin looks at her evenly, with that look that only Jimin can get. That eye-smile that makes her cheeks puff up and her eyes turn into half-moons, paired with a smirk that’s borderline evil. It’s scary and secretly erotic and if Yoonji wasn’t so into dick (hypothetically), she’d totally have fallen for that cherub-grin-with-a-devil’s-body-thing Jimin had going on.

“ Challenge. Fucking. Accepted” Jimin says. “In the words of our queen and saviour Carly Rae Jepsen, We’ll make it feel like the first time, First time” Jimin croons.

I’m sure that’s not what the lyrics meant. Yoonji wants to say, but saying that would admit that she listens to their queen add savior Carle Rae Jepsen, and Jimin has had enough wins today.

The fries are almost gone, and Jimin daintily licks the tips of her fingers clean, obviously pleased with how the conversation is going.

“I need to go meet the love of my life and soulmate, Taehyungie. We’re trying to seduce her cute classmate who works at the corner store."  Jimin leaves a greasy kiss on Yoonji’s cheek. "We like to feed each other popsicles while wearing low-cut tops.” 

That kid doesn’t stand a chance Yoonji thinks, shaking her head.

“And don’t worry, I’ll make it my mission to find you good dick, preferably attached a hot guy who is woke but not broke, or fauxwoke, in the bad way” Jimin adds before skipping to the door.

Hot guy with big dicks. Well, she did have two weeks until the podcast.

“And don’t forget to take the trash out! Yoonji hears Jimin scream as she exits their apartment.

Whoever said girls were the cleaner gender was definitely wrong.


Yoonji goes out to take her trash, effectively hauling their bundle into the shoot, half of her wishing she could just throw herself in there with it. And all that's left to throw is the box of recyclables by her door. She hears a door open. Just her luck, it’s mister tall, broad, and handsome, leaving his apartment. He’s always in a preppy outfit, cardigans with stripes at the side. Her secret crush. Hoseok’s new roommate whose masculine eyes and feminine lips rest on a small face, which in turn is framed by his runway-length shoulders. She doesn't mean to gawk and gets embarrassed when he turns to her and gives her a smile. And instead of returning the smile like a normal human being, she grabs her recyclables and speedwalks away, her flip-flops making squeaky sounds on their hallway floor.

Oh god she thinks, I’m such a dork.

And just at that moment, the bottom of box she’s carrying decides to break.

And all her sins come spilling out...

In the form of empty Soju bottles and energy drink cans that litter the hallway of her apartment complex.

Yoonji swears and drops to her knees. As if this day couldn’t get any worse.

She scrambles to pick up the bottles in her arms, struggling because who knew soju bottles could be so slippery? She’s doing a good job, when suddenly her hands collide with someone else’s. They’re large firm hands that lift the bottle she’s holding, effectively lifting her own hands up as well.

She jolts, dropping the bottles in her arms back on the floor, rolling away from arm’s reach as if to mock her.

“Oh gosh I’m sorry to have startled you.” Tall broad and handsome says. He goes down to squat next to hear, sheepishly putting a hand behind his head and bowing his head in embarrassment.  Yoonji takes this opportunity to look back at him. Really LOOK at him. God how could someone so cute look so devilishly handsome? It was like he was made to make her sin.

“S’ok, thanks for the help.” Yoonji mumbles shyly. Their eyes meet and Yoonji stares.

And stares.

And stares maybe a bit too long because suddenly his face turns stoic and he looks up and away from her. Well, that’s a mood-killer Yoonji thinks, blushing. She looks down at what she’s wearing, a ratty loose tank top, sleep shorts and house slippers. Was he offended by what she was wearing? She wants to cover herself, but instead, she gets down on all fours and tries to gather as many bottles as she can.

“Here let me get that,” The man says, gathering the rest of the fallen cans in his arms. At least he’s nice, right?

“You’ll dirty your shirt.” Yoonji half-whispers, but he’s already got an armful, more than her definitely. He gets up and offers his arm to her as she reaches out to grasp his forearm, gingerly pick herself up from the floor, hugging the remaining bottles to her chest. She notices how firm his arm feels in her finger and it makes her blush. The contact makes her brazen and she peeks, wondering if she should drop the rest of the bottles and try the bend and snap move Jimin keeps going on about. But he still isn’t looking at her and her heart drops to her stomach.

“Thank you.” She whispers instead, trying to end this interaction as soon as possible, so she can slink back to her hiding place under the bridge like the watertroll she is.

“Seokjin.” The man replies, his voice melodic, a contrast to his large form. “My name’s Seokjin. Or Jin for short”

Yoonji already knew that but he doesn’t need to know that she knows.

“I’m Yoonji” she replies. “From 4-L.” Nice to meet you. She'd move to shake his hand but her arms are full and she tries to smile at him instead. Seokjin smiles but he’s looking above her head. Fiddling with the bottles in his arms. He moves to walk beside her.

Her introvert self tries her best to make conversation, after all, when will a chance like this come, right?

And like the embarrassing mess that she is, she babbles.

“We don’t normally drink this much.” Yoonji says. “But my roommate Jimin and I ended up stockpiling these things and we keep forgetting to throw them out... It was too much for the box” She laughs awkwardly, catching Seokjin’s eye before he quickly looks away, the tips of his ears red.

“I get that.’ Seokjin says, voice filled with sympathy. “But my roommate Hoseok is too much of a neat freak to let these things slide.”

Ah yes, Yoonji's opening. “Hoseok is my roommate’s dance partner,” Yoonji says, keeping her tone light. Hoseok. The same Hoseok that was privy to spilling details about the older man because he just LOVED seeing how flustered the butch-y Yoonji would get at the mention of how Seokjin looked in the morning in nothing but his boxers when he cooked breakfast. Or how hot Seokjin was when he would get back from the gym all sweaty, his dri-fit shirts outlining his dorito-man body. Yoonji knew that Seokjin was a model, and that he was modeling for the issue of TEAM magazine where her next erotic story would be published. Not that she could divulge this information Seokjin without outing her own odd obsession. Maybe the amount of information Yoonji had on Seokjin was semi-stalkerish. But it wasn't her fault Hoseok didn't know when to shut up. Or ignore her when she asked. 

“You know Hoseok?” Seokjin asks. Yoonji mumbles a shy yes which he seems to catch.

“Then we should have dinner once. I haven’t had a chance to make that many friends since moving here, so it would be good to have you over for dinner." Seokjin pause.They’re finally by the recycling room at the end of their hallway, where Yoonji bends down to leave the bottles in the bin.

"Only if you want to..." Seokjin says. Yoonji can feel his eyes on her form but when she looks up, he's inspecting the paint that's chipping on the wall.

"Sure." She replies. But her heart is doing a 360, excited and eager at the prospect of having Seokjin over, despite the internal panic she's swallowing down.  

“Thank you again for… Y’know” She’s motions towards the bottles, arms flapping, obviously blushing and squirming now that she has nothing to hide behind.

“No problem. I’ll be your Jinnie in a bottle, any day.” Seokjin says, giving her a wink. And before Yoonji can process whether the guy was flirting or just being plain awkward, he’s already halfway down the hall.