“Tae, angel, please get up.”
Taehyung rolled over and shoved his face into a pillow. “No,” he mumbled, whimpering.
Jungkook sighed. “Please?” he tried again.
“Nooo,” Taehyung whined, his voice muffled.
“Ugh, Kook. You know he’s never gonna wake up like that.” Yoongi brushed past Jungkook, who had a hand placed gently on Taehyung’s shoulder, and pulled the blankets off of the six year old.
Taehyung shot upright, eyes wide. “Heyy!” he whined. He pouted accusingly at Jungkook, who was still standing behind Yoongi.
“Daddy asked you nicely to get up and you didn't listen, so Appa had to take over,” Yoongi said calmly. “Next time, you'll get up when one of us tells you to and none of this will be a problem.”
Taehyung’s lower lip jutted out. “Sorry, Appa,” he mumbled, looking down.
Yoongi rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and chucking the adorable six year old on the chin. “Don’t look at me like that. I'm not mad, okay?”
Taehyung smiled a little. Yoongi gave him a small smile in return and ruffled his hair, before straightening up and turning to look at Jungkook.
“Thanks,” his husband sighed. “Do you need help waking Jimin?”
Yoongi snorted. “I don’t think so.”
Jungkook’s eyes narrowed. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Yoongi merely glanced at Taehyung, who was in the middle of tossing his huge collection of stuffed animals onto the floor and giggling gleefully. “It means one of our kids is a lot more...spirited, than the other.”
Jungkook gasped. “We said when we adopted twins we wouldn’t play favorites!”
“I’m not playing favorites,” Yoongi responded dryly. “I hate both of them equally.”
Jungkook rolled his eyes in response and turned around, opening his arms wide. “Taetae, come on. Time to wash up.”
Taehyung bounded eagerly into his arms, wrapping his legs around Jungkook’s waist and linking his arms tightly around his neck.
“Daddy, maybe we can skip washing today?” he asked innocently. “I'm still clean from last night’s bath.”
Jungkook chuckled lowly as they began walking out of the room. “Not how it works, kiddo.”
Yoongi shook his head as he made his way over to Jimin’s bed. The two six year olds shared a room, and Jimin, god bless, was a heavy enough sleeper to sleep through his brother’s chaotic scenes almost every morning.
“Jimin,” Yoongi said, shaking his shoulder gently. “Time to get up.”
It took a few more soft shakes before the black-haired boy rolled over, sleepily opening his eyes. He looked up at Yoongi with an unfocused gaze, still half-asleep.
“Hm?” he asked sleepily.
Yoongi’s chest warmed. “Time to get up,” he repeated, brushing the hair out of his eyes.
The six year old yawned widely. “Oh...okay…” He remained in bed however, his eyes slowly slipping back shut.
Yoongi rolled his eyes. Adorable or not, he didn't have time for this.
“Okay, up you go,” he grunted, tossing Jimin’s blanket aside and hoisting him over his shoulder.
“Appa!” Jimin squealed, his eyes flying open. “Put me down!”
“I will,” Yoongi said easily, kicking open the door and making his way down the hall. “Once we get to the bathroom.”
Taehyung was already naked when they entered. He was standing up in the tub, the water barely reaching his ankles, with Jungkook crouched on the bathmat in front of him.
“We’re going to have to speed this up,” Yoongi grunted, lowering Jimin into the bath beside his twin. “We still have to dress them and get to breakfast.”
Jungkook hummed in agreement.
Taehyung giggled, splashing a spray of water in his brother’s face. Jimin let out a surprised sound, wide eyes blinking.
“Tae, ‘m still wearing my clothes!”
“That’s not my fault!”
Jimin turned towards Yoongi with a pout. “Appa!”
Yoongi sighed. “Is it just me, or this harder than usual this morning?”
Jungkook seemed to agree, judging by the way he was rubbing his temples. “You guys, please.
“Tae, no splashing,” Yoongi sighed. “Jiminie, take your clothes off.”
Jimin grumbled under his breath but obeyed. He struggled a little to take his shirt off, and Yoongi ended up reaching over to help him.
Once they were both naked and the tub was full, Yoongi and Jungkook got to work.
“Guys,” Jungkook sang, “do you remember what today is?”
He was rubbing shampoo into Taehyung’s hair, and he paused with his hands in the air when he was done. Jimin scooted forward, ducking his head to allow Jungkook to shampoo him next. Meanwhile, Taehyung plopped down in front of Yoongi, who washed him carefully with a sudsy cloth.
“Birthday?” Taehyung guessed.
“A holiday,” Jimin supplied. He rubbed at his eyes as some of the shampoo dripped down his forehead, wincing painfully. “A-ah— soap .”
“Shit. Sorry, baby,” Jungkook said, frowning. He held the corner of a damp washcloth to the younger’s eye. “Better?”
Jimin pouted, one hand lifting to hold the cloth in place. “It stings.”
The water splashed around them as Taehyung moved forward, looking concerned. “Lemme see!”
Jimin moved the cloth away carefully, and Taehyung’s eyes widened. “It’s red!” He turned towards Yoongi and Jungkook. “We need to blow in it!”
“Tae, it’s okay,” Yoongi said gently. “That happens when you get soap in your eyes. Just leave it alone for a little while and it’ll—”
“I’ll blow in it,” the six year old said firmly. “Minnie, look here!”
Yoongi and Jungkook watched as Jimin turned to look at his twin brother, and Taehyung leaned forward to blow air gently in his eye.
Jimin pulled away after a moment, blinking. “It feels a little better. Thanks, Tae.”
“Let me wash your hair,” his brother said firmly. Taehyung inched forward in the tub until the two were practically on top of each other, and Jimin ducked his head down to allow him to wash the rest of the shampoo out.
“My entire heart,” Jungkook sniffed, “is going to rip out of my chest.”
Yoongi sighed. “We’re never going to leave the house at this rate.”
“Our sons are adorable, who gives a damn when we leave the house?” Jungkook huffed. “Look at them, Yoongi. My heart . It’s—”
“—Going to rip out of your chest, I heard you the first time,” Yoongi grumbled. “Guys, we’re supposed to go shopping for your costumes today,” he said, hoping the announcement might speed things along. “Remember? Halloween is this Friday.”
Taehyung gasped, his hands stilling in Jimin’s hair. “Oh, oh! Can I be a vampire?”
Jimin pulled away as if he’d been burned, expression horrified. “Huh? No! We said cowboys!”
It was Taehyung’s turn to make a face. “But I don’t wanna be a cowboy. I wanna be scary.”
Jungkook hummed, lifting his hands with his palms cupped full of water. “Jiminie, baby, come here. Let me finish washing the shampoo out.”
Jimin ignored him, wide-eyed gaze focused on his brother.
“What about the cowboys?” he repeated, voice tiny.
Taehyung rolled his eyes. “Cowboys are dumb , Jimin.”
“But—but you said .” The surprise had left Jimin’s voice, leaving the six year old sounding strangely sad. His shoulders sagged, water dripping from his hair as he sniffed. “You said we were gonna be cowboys.”
“I don’t care what I said. I wanna be scary,” Taehyung muttered petulantly, no longer looking his brother in the eye.
Jimin’s throat moved as he swallowed, and the water splashed around them as he scooted away slightly. Jungkook and Yoongi exchanged a look.
The rest of bath time passed in awkward silence.
The tub was drained and the twins dried off separately. They were usually able to get dressed by themselves, which left about five minutes for Yoongi and Jungkook to get breakfast together while they left to get changed into their clothes for the day.
“We have to make sure they agree on something before we leave for the costume store,” Jungkook insisted the minute they were alone in the kitchen. “Or else they’ll throw a tantrum and start fighting when we get there.”
“Yeah,” Yoongi agreed, setting down four plates on the table. “But they don’t want to be the same thing. We can’t really do anything about that.”
Jungkook scoffed, slicing the apple on the cutting board in front of him with a little more force than was necessary. “We can and we will.”
Yoongi sighed. He leaned back against the counter before taking a sip of his coffee. “This is what I get for marrying one of those do-gooder determined types. Can’t we just let them fight it out? That’s healthy, right?”
“I’m not going to let you fuck me tonight if you don’t take my side on this and help me fix it,” Jungkook said flatly.
Yoongi lowered his mug. “That’s cheating.”
“But it worked,” Jungkook said cheerfully.
Yoongi grimaced. “I married a hypnotist. With a really great ass.”
“I’m taking both of those as compliments. Pass me the milk.”
When the twins returned to the kitchen, it was separately and silently. It was almost unnerving watching the two of them climb into their chairs at the table.
Jimin looked glum, pushing his eggs around with his fork aimlessly.
Yoongi frowned, uncomfortable at the sight of the usually rowdy boys being so eerily quiet. “Anyone want juice?”
Taehyung started to raise his hand, before seeming to realize Jimin hadn’t. He slowly lowered his arm, a pout forming.
“No,” he mumbled, returning to his pancakes with a sigh.
Someone kicked Yoongi under the table. He hissed through his teeth, glaring at Jungkook. His husband mouthed something at him that made no sense at all, and Yoongi just rolled his eyes. He wasn’t going to say anything yet.
A moment of silence passed before Jungkook spoke.
“Taehyungie,” he said carefully. “If you and Jimin already agreed on a costume, don’t you think you should keep your promise to your brother?”
Jimin glanced up at his father’s words, eyes shining hopefully.
Taehyung glared down at his pancakes. “No. I wanna be scary and Jimin never wants to be scary. We always do what he wants.”
Jimin’s shoulders fell. He turned back to his plate.
Jungkook frowned. Yoongi felt another kick under the table, and he gritted his teeth, taking a deep breath to level his voice.
“But didn’t you decide what you guys got to be last year?” Yoongi said. “Power Rangers were your idea.”
“Yeah, but only ‘cause he said no to being ghosts,” Taehyung explained exasperatedly. “He never wants to be scary. He’s such a baby.”
The sound of a fork clattering loudly onto a plate rang out. Yoongi and Jungkook both turned to see Jimin pushing his chair out, blinking rapidly. He had his head ducked, but he couldn’t hide the way his cheeks had flushed or the fact that his chin was trembling.
“I’m not hungry,” he mumbled.
Jungkook waited until he heard the sound of the bedroom door slamming shut before he turned towards Taehyung, eyes ablaze.
“You are in serious trouble, mister,” he said flatly. “Is that any way to talk to your brother?”
Taehyung sank lower into his chair, crossing his arms. “He is , though,” he muttered.
Jungkook pinched the bridge of his nose. “Go apologize to him. Now.”
Taehyung pressed his lips together. “I don’t wanna.”
Yoongi winced at the way Jungkook’s expression darkened. The younger male looked like he was going to snap.
“Kim Taehyung,” he said lowly. “If you don’t march in there and apologize right now, I have half a mind to—”
“Kook,” Yoongi interrupted.
His husband turned to look at him angrily, clearly upset at having been interrupted. “What?”
Yoongi placed a hand over Jungkook’s on the table. A signal to calm down.
Jungkook stared at him for a moment longer before nodding slightly. He let out a breath, turning back to face Taehyung.
It was Yoongi who spoke up this time.
“Taehyungie,” he said slowly. “Do you remember when you used to be scared of the dark?”
Taehyung made a face at the memory. “Yeah.”
Yoongi leaned forward across the table, trying to meet his son’s eyes. “Jimin kept all the lights on in the room until you fell asleep, even though he can’t sleep unless it’s dark. You remember that?”
The six year old’s throat moved as he swallowed. He gave a small shrug, frowning down at the table.
“Or when you had soccer practice after school. Who waited for you even though it was hot? Even though he could have come home an hour and a half early?”
Taehyung sniffed, remaining silent.
Yoongi pressed his lips together. “And when you hurt your arm? Jimin carried your backpack for you in school, didn’t he?”
Taehyung finally looked at them then, and the six year old’s eyes were damp. “I don’t wanna play this game anymore,” he said, voice tiny.
Jungkook got out of his chair, crossing the table to lift Taehyung onto his lap.
He brushed the hair out of the younger’s eyes. “Tae, baby. Listen to me,” he said gently. “You and Jimin don’t have to wear the same costume. Just because you’re brothers or twins doesn’t mean you need to be identical all the time.”
Taehyung sniffed, nodding.
“But it does mean you need to be nice to each other,” Jungkook continued firmly. “You’re brothers. Has Jimin ever called you a mean name, even once?”
Taehyung was looking up at him with large, watery eyes. “No,” he whispered.
Jungkook pouted, squeezing his cheeks gently. “Aw, don’t make that face. That’s cheating.”
“I’m sorry,” Taehyung whimpered. He hugged Jungkook tightly, burying his face into his chest. “I’m a bad brother.”
“Hey, no,” Jungkook said, eyebrows furrowing. He hugged him back tightly, glancing at Yoongi.
“You’re a good brother, Taehyungie,” Yoongi reassured him gently. “But you know what you have to go do now, right?”
His son nodded firmly.
He slid off of Jungkook’s lap then, and the sound of tiny feet padding down the hall could be heard. They heard knocking, muffled voices, and the sound of a door closing.
Yoongi and Jungkook waited a moment before relaxing.
“Should we go put our ear to the door?” Jungkook whispered.
“Are you insane? No,” Yoongi hissed. “They’re making up, okay? We both know perfectly well they can’t stay mad at each other for longer than five minutes, anyway.”
Jungkook nodded. He grinned at Yoongi then, eyes twinkling.
“For someone who wanted to let them fight it out, you sure were helpful,” he teased.
Yoongi scowled. “I’m telling you, I was hypnotized. You’re a danger to society, Jeon Jungkook.”
Jungkook giggled, already coming over to slide onto his lap. “And?” he hummed, nose brushing Yoongi’s as he pressed their foreheads together.
“And you have a great ass,” Yoongi said reluctantly, but he couldn’t stop the smile that tugged at his lips.
Jungkook grinned triumphantly. “Is that all?”
Yoongi hummed, grabbing the backs of the younger’s thighs and hitching him higher up onto his lap. “And—” He kissed him, pulling apart only when he felt Jungkook’s shoulders vibrating with laughter. “—and I love you.”
Jungkook’s eyes softened.
“Cheesy,” he said, but he was smiling too, eyes glittering. “I thought you hated us all equally.”
“Hate you a little less than the kids,” Yoongi murmured against his lips.
Jungkook giggled. “You love those kids.”
“Unfortunately,” Yoongi sighed, finally pulling away. “It’s the reason I hate them. They’ve forced me to love them.”
“How poetic,” Jungkook said, rolling his eyes. “Come on.”
“Kook, just give them a few minutes—”
“Not that . We have to get changed, too! Costume shopping, remember?”
Yoongi sighed. “How could I forget?”
Halloween rolled around on a Friday, and Yoongi and Jungkook stood outside the twins’ bedroom patiently with their cameras as they did every year.
They could hear giggling and what sounded like muffled talking behind the closed door. Yoongi rolled his eyes.
“Guys, come on,” he called out. “Hobi hyung is going to be here soon. Are you ready?”
Jungkook nudged him. “Shut up. Don’t rush them, let them put the finishing touches on.”
Yoongi narrowed his eyes at him. “You say that as if we don’t already know exactly what they look like. We bought the outfits with them.”
Jungkook put his hands on his hips, the camera propped against one of them as he glared at his husband.
“You will act surprised when they come out or so help me Min Yoongi—”
At that moment, the door opened and the twins jumped out, and Jungkook and Yoongi both gasped loudly.
Yoongi wasn’t even acting for Jungkook’s sake. He was genuinely shocked at the sight of the costumes the twins were wearing. At the store, they had both picked out a set of ninja outfits. Taehyung had added plastic nunchucks to his, and Jimin was satisfied with his the way it was. It was the perfect compromise.
Or so they thought. Now, Taehyung stood in front of them dressed in a Frankenstein costume, complete with fake nails glued to his fake green forehead and plastic wounds glued all over his small body. Next to him, Jimin was wearing a long white shirt with a stethoscope around his neck.
“When did you…” Jungkook’s eyes darted back and forth between the two, shocked. “What happened to the ninja costumes?”
“We changed our minds!” Jimin said excitedly.
Yoongi could only shake his head, eyebrows furrowed. “Where did you buy these?”
“Jin hyung made them!” Taehyung explained eagerly. “When he came to babysit!”
“TaeTae wanted to be scary,” Jimin said, shrugging with a smile. “And I didn’t, so now he’s Frankenstein and I’m the doctor!”
“The doctor made Frankenstein,” Taehyung supplied helpfully.
Jimin nodded seriously.
Jungkook’s lips were twitching with a smile, and Yoongi could feel himself fighting off the action as well.
“Wow. What a compromise,” Jungkook said. “Who’s idea was this?”
The twins looked at each other in surprise.
“It was yours!” Jimin said, eyebrows furrowing. “You said I should be the doctor, ‘cause I didn’t wanna be scary!”
“Nuh uh!” Taehyung glared at him. “You said I should be the monster, ‘cause you wanted me to be happy!”
“You said you wanted me to be happy!”
“What have we raised,” Yoongi groaned quietly. “They’re so selfless and caring. This is all your fault.”
Jungkook hummed, wrapping his arms around Yoongi’s waist and resting his chin on the elder’s shoulder.
“They actually get that from you, but nice try,” he murmured, gaze warm and smile soft as he gazed at the two brothers.
Yoongi looked at them, too, retort ready. But he only ended up humming in agreement. “I guess.”
Jungkook grinned, straightening up with a peck to his shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get a few pictures in before Hobi gets here.”
They managed to get a total of about two hundred before their babysitter showed up. Hobi had an agreement with several of the parents at the twins’ school, and he took a group of the boys’ friends trick or treating every year.
The door closed behind an excited Taehyung and Jimin, and Jungkook pushed Yoongi back onto the couch immediately.
“We are such good parents,” he said between kisses, breaths coming out rushed as he mouthed at Yoongi’s neck.
“Is that a turn on for you?” Yoongi mumbled. His hands came up to pull the younger higher up onto his lap until Jungkook was straddling him.
“Are you kidding?” His husband’s eyes sparkled when he pulled back, grinning. “We’re raising angels. Yes, that’s a turn on. I’m a good parent. How does that not give you a boner?”
“There’s so much wrong with you,” Yoongi muttered, closing the gap between their mouths. “Wish I fucking cared.”
Jungkook giggled into the kiss. They fell back onto the couch, Jungkook grinding down onto Yoongi as they kissed breathlessly.
Yoongi tugged on his shirt, stripping the younger. His eyes slid down his chiseled chest before lifting to Jungkook’s warm gaze, and something flip-flopped in his chest.
“Okay, fine,” he muttered, lips drifting down his abs. “Maybe you being a good parent turns me on.”
Jungkook shivered, hands coming up to tangle his fingers into the hair at the back of Yoongi’s head. “You’re a good parent, too.”
“This is amazing dirty talk,” Yoongi laughed, letting out a breath through his nose. “Seriously. I think I’m coming.”
“Shut up,” Jungkook groaned. “Fuck. Go lower.”
Yoongi hooked his finger into the waistband of the younger’s pants. He popped the button open, just about to slip them down, when the door was thrown open.
“Daddy! We forgot—”
Jimin stopped mid-sentence, eyes wide at the sight of the two of them tangled on the couch. Next to him, Taehyung looked equally as surprised.
Jungkook scrambled off of Yoongi’s lap. “G-guys. What are you—where’s Hobi hyung?”
“Downstairs.” Jimin pushed his lips out, eyes narrowed. “Were you hurting Appa?”
“What?” Jungkook gaped at Yoongi, who looked like he was trying not to laugh. “No. What the heck? I wasn’t hurting him. W-we were—” He blushed. “We were, um...h-hugging.”
Taehyung crossed his arms, not looking satisfied with the explanation. “But you were on top of him, Daddy. What if he couldn’t breathe?”
Yoongi snickered, and Jungkook shot him a glare.
Jimin crossed the room towards them, and he climbed onto the couch and put his hands on Yoongi’s shoulders.
“Appa, was Daddy hurting you?”
Jungkook made a choking sound.
Yoongi had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling. “No, baby,” he said. “I promise he wasn’t hurting me.”
Jimin didn’t look convinced. “Pinky promise?”
Yoongi kissed his forehead, ruffling his hair before picking him up and setting him back on the floor. “Pinky promise. Now why did you two come back up here? What’d you forget?”
“Our pillowcases!” Taehyung had clearly been looking for the misplaced items while his brother was busy, and he emerged from their bedroom triumphant with them in hand.
Jimin took one, glancing back at the couch once more.
“Appa, we’ll be back quick,” he promised firmly.
Taehyung nodded seriously. “Super duper quick.”
Jungkook looked horrified. “I’m not going to hurt him, guys!”
The twins merely shook their heads, already making their exit, and Jungkook jumped up as the door closed behind them.
“Wait, guys? Guys! We were just hugging, I swear! Wait up !”
The door slammed shut behind them all, leaving Yoongi alone in the living room. He leaned back on the couch and stretched, closing his eyes with a small, satisfied smile stretching his lips.
He definitely, with absolute certainty, hated them all equally.
Hated them so much it hurt.