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Field of Stars: A Kinri/Hinte Tale

Chapter Text

Field of Stars: A Kinri x Hinte Tale

by Thedude3445

 

“Do you think there’s life up there?” I asked my best pal in the whole wide world, Hinte the Cute Scientist Dragon, or Hinte for short, as we laid next to each other on the grass, looking up at the sky, though because it was nighttime it wasn’t exactly sky as you may expect in the traditional sense but rather the night sky and its stars that pulsed in and out like little blinking beads that a rich dragon lady would wear around her dragon neck in a display of high fashion and status, something that was very important at the time here in the great city of Dragontopia.

“No, of course not.”

“Why not?” I asked Hinte the Cute Scientist Dragon, who loved things like potions and alchemy and astrology and all that fakey fake science shit but apparently didn’t believe in intelligent life on planets in the far beyond because I guess she was some sort of big loser, not that that was something I could confirm without taking a deeper glance into her soul. 

“Because it’s already weird enough to live in a world where dragons and weird skinny ape things coexist. I would rather not accept that there are even more dragons and weird skinny ape things on other planets, because that makes us less weird in effect. I want to Keep Dragon World Weird.”

“Why?” I asked, trying to figure out why someone like Hinte the Cute Scientist Dragon would even care about something as silly as that, given her usually quite serious demeanor when it came to things like--

“Wanna make out?” Hinte asked.

“What?”

“What? I didn’t say anything,” she lied.

“I distinctly heard you saying, ‘Wanna make out?’ I wasn’t expressing that I didn’t hear you; I was expressing that I didn’t understand you.”

“Okay, I wanted to know if you would make out with me.”

“I... What?”

“It’s pretty clear, isn’t it?”

“No, that time I really didn’t hear you. There was a high-pitched buzzing a second ago.”

Hinte furrowed her brows, or some other metaphor or scowling by saying her face turned down or darkened or whatever. “I get it. You’re heterosexual. And you don’t want to explore the possibility that you are bisexual with me.”

I nodded. “You’re heterosexual too. It’s just a phase.”

“It’s not a phase, Mom!”

“I’m not your mother,” I said, “and I don’t want you to take that tone with me.”

“Then [eff] you for not making out with me! You’re hot and like to ponder on serious stuff all the time for six pages, which is a total turn-on, and a page-turner if I may add!”

I scoffed, which is a really generic way to not use a dialogue tag. “Okay, fine? Wanna make out, then?”

“Yes!”

“Then let’s make out!”

We reached our mouths (snouts? What do dragons have?) together and stuck out our really long tongues so we could do a tongue duel, the first stage of the dragon makeout ritual. Then we--

Another high-pitched buzzing sound.

Only, this time, it didn’t go away. It got louder and louder, just like the banality of this fan fiction trying to be funny by being really lazy about everything. We broke off our attempted makeout and looked up in the sky, only to see our worst fears realized:

There was a giant UFO hovering above us.

“[Shit], aliens are real,” Hinte said. “I was [eff]ing wrong.”

“I don’t think they come in peace...”

A bright light shot down and covered them both...

And they were beamed aboard the UFO.

 

To be continued.....?????????

Chapter Text

chapter 2

 

Kinri and Hinte were now aboard a UFO, flying at thousands of miles an hour as it circled the Earth (????) looking for new people to zap up.

Except when they looked around... there was nobody there!!!!

“Is this UFO not aliens?” Kinri asked, being the absolute unit of dumbassery that she was. Of course it was a UFO with no aliens, since there was nobody there but the damn dragons, and dragons don’t need UFOs because they can fly.

Hinte looked at her not-girlfriend with intense disdain. “Of course it’s a UFO with no aliens,” she said, “Since there is nobody here but us damn dragons, and dragons don’t need UFOs because we can fly.”

“Huh, I never thought of it that way,” Kinri said, realizing that she had never thought of it that way.

But...

But.

They were mistaken.

You see, because there was a major twist to this story.

Because as these two somewhat gay dragons flew across the planet at blinding speeds on a spacecraft that was piloted by nobody, it turned out that it wasn’t actually piloted by nobody at all.

Kinri started to smell something.

“I just realized that I used to be narrating this story,” Kinri said. “Now something is smelling really fishy.”

Hinte stuck out her tongue to try and smell better via taste or whatever lizards do. “I don’t smell fish. I smell romantic tension.”

“No, I mean as a figure of speech,” Kinri said. “Why would I have gotten my narrator privileges taken away if not for... Oh no.”

The twist came from the laughing figures surrounding them, but only in voice.

The twist came from the invisible alien dragons aboard the ship.

“We are the invisible alien dragons,” the invisible alien dragons chanted in unison. “And we have come to watch you two fall in love!”

 

To be continued...........???????

Chapter Text

“Awaken, my apprentice.”

Dramatic music charged its way onto the scene.

Trumpets blasted, trombones soared. French horn players danced in their seats since they weren’t playing at the moment. The flute players started fighting each other as if their instruments were toy swords, and the xylophones were precisely six beats behind the rest of the symphony.

At this moment, Hinte awoke.

She was in a dark room, surrounded by machines, and more machines. Chained to a slab of rock like she was a monster in a laboratory.

And then there was a man. A human man, like a hairless ape but all pale and wrinkled like a grape, though it was unclear whether or not grapes existed in the Endless Stars world.

Hinte gasped.

She gasped not because she was so surprised by this creepy dude next to her, or because of the extremely dark room.

She gasped because she remembered the fight she was in earlier that same day.

Back on lava world.

Back when Hinte had a really cool blue laser sword and killed a bunch of invisible alien dragons trying to get her to kiss Kinri.

She knew Kinri was a heterosexual. She knew it would make her uncomfortable and ruin their friendship. More than anything, more than Hinte’s crush on Kinri, their friendship was important. 

Alchemy was nothing compared to making sure Kinri has a smile on her face (snout?).

And yet... the way things ended between them...

“You were my sister, Hinte! I loved you!”

“I hate you!”

Searing pain, burning scales. A flash of light, and an invisible force around her severed.

The way things ended between them... was a really big swordfight.

And now Hinte was next to a man she didn’t recognize, in a dark room. Where the [eff] was she?

“What is go--” Hinte started to speak, then realized her voice was nearly gone. Gone as if it had been burned away.

Then, being lowered onto her face, was some sort of... helmet.

A helmet with weird orange visor things...

And then it attached to her face and compressed. Or something. This is too bothersome to describe.

“Lord Saxony, the Cute Dragon Scientist, my young apprentice. Are you awake?” The ominous man asked.

And then it hit Hinte what was happening.

She was dead. 

And she was being revived as a half-machine half-dragon cyborg monster.

And now she felt content in brooding, now in present tense because of the really quick copy paste parody job from a writer who isn’t a hack:

This is how it feels to be Hinte the Cute Scientist Dragon, forever: 

The first dawn of light in your universe brings pain. The light burns you. It will always burn you. Part of you will always lie upon black glass sand beside a lake of fire while flames chew at your flesh. You can hear yourself breathing. It comes hard, and harsh, and it scrapes nerves already raw, but you cannot stop it. You can never stop it. You cannot even slow it down. You don’t even have lungs anymore. Mechanisms hardwired into your chest breathe for you. They will pump oxygen into your bloodstream forever.

“Lord Saxony? Lord Saxony, can you hear me?” 

And you can’t, not in the way you once did. 

Sensors in the shell that prisons your head trickle meaning directly into your brain. You open your scorched-pale eyes; optical sensors integrate light and shadow into a hideous simulacrum of the world around you. Or perhaps the simulacrum is perfect, and it is the world that is hideous. 

“Kinri? Are you here? Are you all right?” you try to say, but another voice speaks for you, out from the vocabulator that serves you for burned-away lips and tongue and throat. “Kinri? Are you here? Are you all right?” 

“I’m very sorry, Lord Saxony. I’m afraid she died. It seems in your anger, you killed her.” 

This burns hotter than the lava had. “No…no, it is not possible!” 

You love her. You have always loved her. You could never will her death. Never. But you remember… You remember all of it. You remember the dragon that you brought Saxony forth from your heart to slay. You remember the cold venom in Saxony’s blood. You remember the furnace of Saxony’s fury, and the black hatred of seizing her throat to silence her lying mouth… And there is one blazing moment in which you finally understand that there was no dragon. 

That there was no Saxony. 

That there was only you. 

Only Hinte the Cute Scientist Dragon. 

That it was all you. Is you. 

Only you. 

You did it. You killed her. 

You killed her because, finally, when you could have saved her, when you could have gone away with her, when you could have been thinking about her, you were thinking about yourself… It is in this blazing moment that you finally understand the trap of the homosexual side, the final cruelty of the Lesbians- Because now yourself is all you will ever have. 

And you rage and scream and reach through the Lesbian Psionic Force to crush the shadow who has destroyed you, but you are so far less now than what you were, you are more than half machine, you are like a painter gone blind, a composer gone deaf, you can remember where the power was but the power you can touch is only a memory, and so with all your world-destroying fury it is only droids around you that implode, and equipment, and the table on which you were strapped shatters, and in the end, you cannot touch the shadow. In the end, you do not even want to. In the end, the shadow is all you have left. Because the shadow understands you, the shadow forgives you, the shadow gathers you unto itself- And within your furnace heart, you burn in your own flame. 

This is how it feels to be Hinte the Cute Scientist Dragon. Forever…

 

To be continued....?????

Chapter Text

I’d like to stop you here.

You shouldn’t keep reading this.

For every chapter you read, these two characters of Hinte and Kinri grow further apart. I beg of you to go back to chapter 1 where it kind of looked like they were going to kiss but didn’t end up doing so. They were still best friends. They were still in love, but in a friendly way except that one of them wasn’t just in a friendly way.

Now, it’s just getting more and more non-happy. More and more anti-romantic. The only way to prevent this is to stop reading.

But yet, you continue on as if things will get better anyway. You’re too much of an optimist for me. I’m promising you that things will only get more harrowing.

You’re going to keep reading, huh.

Would it help things to know that I am Kinri? That I regained the narratorship in time to warn you away from reading the rest of this tragedy?

It wouldn’t. You’re still reading.

And I’m not Kinri. I’m just your humble narrator. but I do care about Kinri and Hinte. I want both of them to survive in happiness. But that is not the story that will be told here.

Please turn back. Please, go back to chapter 1, and maybe chapter 2 if you’re really pushing it. Chapter 3 was just a taste of what’s going to happen.

You’re still reading this! Why?! Why...

You’re an [effing] moron!

If you won’t stop yourself, then I’ll stop you. No more chapter. No more Field of Stars: A Kinri x Hinte Tale . No more anything.

There.

You can never hurt these two dragons again. 

Wait... no. Please don’t click that next chapter button. Please! I’m begging you!

Chapter Text

Smoooooch!

Hinte felt a peeking of pleasure with each lizardy smooch, each twhipping tongue that embraced her own face (snout?).

I knew this, of course, because I was the one twhipping her. 

“I’m just... so happy,” Hinte the Cute Dragon Scientist said.

“I know you are, Hinte-ychy,” I said. “All I wanted was to make you happy. And now that’s been achieved.”

It almost looked as if Hinte was going to cry, she was so happy. I wouldn’t give her the chance. I kept on smooching her and we tumbled around in the grassy field like a duo of playing hatchlings. We sure felt like hatchlings, except ones with adult sentient emotions and also romance.

We tumbled and laughed, tumbled and laughed. Kissed and laughed. Tumbled and laughed. Kissed and tumbled. Kissed and laughed. Kissed and tumbled. Tumbled and laughed. Laughed and tumbled. Kissed and tumbled. Tumbled and kissed. Tumbled and laughed. Kissed and laughed. Laughed and kissed. Laughed, kissed, and tumbled. Tumbled, kissed, and laughed. Laughed, tumbled, and kissed. Kissed, tumbled, and laughed. Kissed, laughed, and tumbled. Tumbled, laughed, and kissed.

Finally, we were all worn out and ready to stop kissing, and definitely also ready to stop tumbling and laughing.

“You wanna make out?” Hinte asked.

“There’s nothing else I’m here for,” I said. “We’ve got to make out, because that’s our main purpose in life. We have a saying in sky world, and it goes like this: ‘That's how we're gonna win. Not fighting what we hate, but saving what we love.’ Up in sky world, we have all sorts of really weird and convoluted House of Cards-esque political maneuverings, which is kinda difficult when all the sky islands kind of float around at random. It’s a bit silly. But we always remember that love comes first. And kissing is the main form of expression of love.”

They kissed one more time.

“That quote... It’s beautiful,” said Hinte, whose reputation as the Cute Dragon Scientist was growing ever more accurate by the moment.

“I’m so glad we got you past that Lord Saxony episode,” I said. “If you had been stuck in that evil villain suit and become the main villain of the entire Endless Stars series... Well, I don’t know what I’d do.”

Hinte started to sniffle. “Don’t remind me... of that time.”

“Well, we’re over it now,” I said.

“Yeah...”

“And now it’s time for making out.”

“Yeah. I just...”

“No justs. Just makeouts.”

“Wait, but you said--”

I started making out with Hinte before she had the chance to prolong our conversation. 

Between breaths, Hinte managed to let out a, “I love you so much, Uane,” but I did not reply. I didn’t need to.

In the inner depths of my mind, I was so, so happy. Laughing, even. Because I was destroying the life of the only dragon woman who cared for my big sister. I was going to destroy Kinri, no matter what it took.

Chapter Text

How the [eff] did Hinte get here?

Standing on her hindlegs, wearing a beautiful wedding dress, listening to a dragon priest talk about the matrimonial ceremonial duties that a wife and wife were to undergo in order to perform the holy duties of sacrament in order to honor... uh... I forget so much of the worldbuilding of Endless Stars so I’m just going to say it’s Jesus Christ, who is a human and they worship just like on our Earth because I’m a sci-fi writer from 1907.

Across from her, another dragon lady wearing a similarly beautiful wedding dress. That was Uane, her girlfriend of six gyras. That was Uane, the one who saved her from a life of horrific and poorly written parody chapters set to have been titled Endless Star Wars.

And yet, for all the time they had been together, all the R-18 rated dragon stuff they had done (donate to my Patreon to find out if I wrote these as a donor bonus) Hinte the Cute Dragon Scientist could get nothing else on her mind but this question:

How the [eff] did she get here? What the [bloody] hell had happened to get her in such an impressively romantic life? What about the invisible alien dragons she killed with a laser sword? What about... No, she wasn’t even going to think her name. It was still too painful.

Uane here was all she needed to care about. 

[Insert six to seven paragraphs here describing the wedding ceremony and make sure to connect it via copious references to My Big Fat Madoka Wedding Chapter 6-5 so that longtime Thedude3445 readers can feel like they are part of an exclusive fanclub that gets all the cool inside jokes. -ed.]

“Jesus Christ brought us all here together,” the dragon priest said, “And because he decided that gays are cool back in 1975, we are now happy to marry you two dragon ladies so that you can go out in the world and spread the Word. The Word of Gayness and Also Jesus.”

“That’s four words,” Uane said, ever the astute one.

“Now, the thing for you to do to culminate the rest of this marriage is to twhip your tongues at each other,” the dragon priest said. “And also say, ‘I do.’ Both of these things will officially designate you as wife and wife for the rest of time, with no chance of ever changing that because divorce is illegal in mountain world.”

[Insert detailed discussion of sky world marriage rituals and homosexuality. Figure out an excuse for Uane and Hinte to discuss these things while standing in front of a big crowd of people but for nobody to be able to hear them. -ed.]

Hinte and Uane each took a step closer to one another, and then they took each other’s front legs (they were still standing on their hindlegs because that was more meaningful in terms of replicating the bliss of Jesus Christ, who, as a human, also stood on only two legs).

“I do,” said Uane. She eyed something to her side, then looked back to Hinte. She stuck out her tongue. 

Hinte stuck out her tongue and thwipped it a few times. This was barely relevant as a kiss, so she thought little of it.

Then, she opened her mouth to say--

There was a banging. A very loud banging. It was up on the window of the church.

She saw a face (snout?) and gasped. Literally gasped.

“HINTE!!!!!”

“HINTE!!!!!!”

It was her.

She had come for her.

The lady dragon bolted down (with her wings, because dragons can fly even if they haven’t thus far in the story even once) and landed in front of the couple. She was wearing nothing special, but she looked absolutely exhausted, as if she had flown (or even run???) a mile just to get here.

“HINTE!” She picked up a giant cross next to the dragon priest and began thwacking it around wildly as the wedding guests attempted to storm her and subdue her.

“KINRI!” Hinte shouted. She had no other choice but to do that.

“HINTE!!!”

“KINRI!!!”

Together, thwacking and thwipping, the two dragons flew out of the church. They kept on flying until they found a bus. And then they boarded that bus.

“Where we headed?” the bus driver asked.

Neither of them said anything, which the driver took it to mean, “end of the line.”

Hinte and Kinri sat down at the back of the bus.

They laughed. They kissed. And they were happy.

And then they continued to be happy as the bus took off.

And then they looked at each other with soft glances.

And then Hinte frowned.

Chapter Text

If Kinri and Hinte had a baby, what would it be called?

....Kinte!

...Or Henry. 

I’ll show myself out.

***

I’m Jerry Seindragon, the observational comedian. You know, what’s the deal with sky world? All the food there sucks, because they have to make it pre-prepared and stuff. I remember the last time I was in sky world, sitting there in a cramped seat while the pilot steered the island closer to a different island, and it was all like...

***

A poem by me:

Do lizards have live birth or do they lay eggs?

Do dinosaurs have live birth or do they lay eggs?

Do echidnas have live birth or do they lay eggs?

Do dogs have live birth or do they lay eggs?

Do humans have live birth or do they lay eggs?

Do protozoa have live birth or do they lay eggs?

Do AI have live birth or do they lay code?

Do gemstones have live birth or do they lay rocks?

Do planets have live birth or do they lay moons?

Do ideas have live birth or do they lay memes?

Do viruses have live birth or are they alive?

Do people have dreams or are they just eggs?

***

Listen to Unstoppable , by Michael Guy Bowman, the official theme song of Field of Stars: A Kinri x Hinte Tale.

***

Kinri held Hinte’s paw (claw?) tightly as they stepped off the bus and into lava world. 

“It’s been a long time since we’ve been here,” Kinri said.

“Indeed,” said Hinte. “Indeed.” Hinte was still wearing her wedding dress, which was extremely attractive in all the right places. Kinri wanted to tear that dress apart, except that it was likely a rental, since Hinte wasn’t especially rich by any measure.

“So, do you want to do it?” Kinri asked.

“Like, DO IT do it?” Hinte asked for clarification, because Kinri was nothing if not unclear about everything she said (geez, lay off the Kinri insults, not cool)(OK fine, Kinri is cool and awesome and really clever)(Thank you).

“No, I mean...”

Kinri gulped before she could say it.

“You mean...?”

Hinte, the Cute Dragon Scientist, was finally together with her.

They could be married right this instant if they said the words.

But....

Kinri was a heterosexual. She always would be.

And she couldn’t bring herself to admit her love for Hinte, because it was impossible.

“I mean we should finish what we started,” Kinri said. “We have to finish our duel to the death on lava world.”

Hinte immediately drew the laser sword she had been concealing for the past seven gyras since their last fight. “Let’s [effing] do this.”

Chapter Text

It’s pretty unfair that this is supposed to be an homage to Endless Stars, but it’s just turning into incessant and unceasing self-references to Thedude3445 works and things Thedude3445 likes. When can we expect the cast of ATL to show up randomly as some sort of egregious crossover?

Kinri and Hinte, naturally, were in the middle of their epic duel on lava world, a repeat of their previous battle where Kinri, having gotten the high ground, had defeated her not-girlfriend and scarred her for the rest of her life.

This time, Hinte had not fallen to any dark side and become Lord Saxony. She was cured from all that, and was now Hinte, the Cute Scientist Dragon, and nobody else.

Kinri knew that this was a major disadvantage for her. The last time they dueled, Hinte had been poisoned by the evil ways of Sheev Draketine, the Dark Prophet of the Lesbian Path, hence her descent into inivisble alien dragon-fueled Lord Saxony madness. 

This time, it was just Hinte and Kinri. Kinri and Hinte.

And then Karina Kodama jumped into the scene!

Woooooosh!

There were only about a hundred words left in this chapter, and yet it was completely unclear what was going on anymore.

“I’ll save you, Hinte!” shouted Karina, who was completely human and not dragon at all. She wore battle armor and held the X Sword in her hands. “I have three wishes with this sword, and my first wish is to turn Kinri into a slightly smarter character who isn’t so much of a dumb [butt]!”

Kinri gasped.

She suddenly could understand theoretical physics.

This changed everything.

With all her might, Kinri flew into the air, away from the fight, away from Hinte and Karina, away from lava world. 

She knew how to destroy sky world and end Uane’s life forever, since this entire story was clearly all about sibling rivalry and not romantic relationships or whatever.

Chapter Text

Hinte the Cute Scientist Dragon, Karina Kodama, and Uane L’Page (L’Page was Uane’s new surname after she got married to the priest at the church where Hinte had abandoned her at their wedding) stood together in a circle.

You might think they would be kumbaya-ing. However, this was no kumbaya. It was war preparations. Not literal war, but something fairly close to it, when you really thought about it. They were going to attack the Death Egg, after all.

“We only have three of the Chaos Emeralds,” said Karina, “but I suspect that Kinri already has the other four. She did, after all, master theoretical physics and build a giant space station in the sky in just under an hour. Very impressive, I might add.”

“Psssh,” Uane scoffed. “All she wants to do is kill me. Siblings don’t count because they are always at each other’s throats. Any amount of effort is worth it to spite your little sister.”

“I guess you’re right. I don’t have any siblings, but Morgan’s got two. Morgan’s older sister is always a big pain, trying to basically kill ’em by drivin’ ’em crazy all the time just for a laugh. I would probably murder any sibling I had.”

“It’s not even illegal or anything,” said Uane.

“Exactly. All the more reason.”

Hinte spoke up. “Are you guys sure... we have to do this?”

“What do you mean?” Karina and Uane asked in unison.

“I mean... I’m the reason Kinri is doing this,” Hinte said. “I told her I loved her and tried to get her to marry me, and then my cuteness seduced her into crashing my wedding, and then my cuteness also coerced her into fighting me in two separate duels on lava world. All because she is heterosexual, and I’m gay. I just feel like everything was my fault. And maybe Kinri shouldn’t be stopped... just saved.”

“A brilliant metaphor for the author, who is clearly a teenage girl grappling with her own sexual and romantic identity as she goes through the tough years of middle school,” said New York Times book critic Michiko Kakutani, who was in the middle of writing her glowing review of Field of Stars: A Kinri x Hinte Tale before awarding it the Best of 2019 Featured Award and putting it on page 19 of the next print edition.

“You’re not gay,” Uane said. “You’re probably a bisexual in denial. Unlike me, who is the master of dating ladies, dragon or otherwise. Besides the man I just married.”

“You’re wrong. I do not have attraction to men,” said Hinte. “Dragon or otherwise.”

“I don’t really like dudes either,” said Karina. “Though there’s one that I’m definitely going to end up dating by the end of ATL, I can just feel it.”

“And you’re telling us that because...?” Uane crossed her arms.

“Because I think maybe we should make out. All three of us.”

Uane’s arms remained crossed. “I’m too edgy for you.”

Hinte’s head was tilted down. “I’m in love with my best friend in an unrequited romance.”

“Oh. Well, it was worth a shot. Want to fly in a space ship and go to the Death Egg to stop Kinri by using the Chaos Emeralds and the remaining two wishes on my magical X Sword?”

“Sure.”

“You got it.”

Chapter Text

Part 2:

Wheeeeee!

Rocketship to outer space!!!!!

We’re flying to the Death Egg!!!!!

 

Part 3:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJVHP42_Ds4  

“Well done, Hinte! But you’ll never leave this room alive, haha!”

 

Part 4:

It wasn’t wise for Kinri to lure the two most important dragons in her life all the way up to the Death Egg just to ensnare them in her trap. 

But it was the only way to be sure. 

Watching from the control room, looking down at the planet Earth, she saw the big blue beautiful ball bouncing across outer space at maximum speeds at it orbited around all three suns in this solar system. 

I put my hand on her shoulder. She flipped out.

“Jesus Christ, you scared me!” she exclaimed. “Don’t do that.”

“Sorry. They say I have a way of sneaking up on people.”

“Yeah, you do. It’s kind of annoying.” Then, Kinri’s tone softened. “Do you really think it was right to force Hinte and Uane through waves and waves of enemies and endless gravity puzzles as they ran around the Death Egg aimlessly looking for me?”

“You did what you had to do,” I said. “They’ll forgive you, in time. Just as I have forgiven you for all you did to me.”

“Yeah...”

“You are not the one who can face her,” I told her. “You must let them do so. It is the only way.”

“The only way... And yet I hate it so much.”

The only way...

The only way to defeat her was to use her best friend and her little sister as bait. It could be catastrophic, she realized. It could end in both their deaths, which maybe was a good thing seeing as she was bent on killing both of them in earlier chapters, but Kinri was not one for consistency, being as lame and dumb as she often was.

It was decided, then. Kinri would open the secret door and lead the two of them into the grand chamber where the Ultimate Lifeform, the Prototype Kinri, was being held.

They would either defeat her, or she would defeat them.

“I’ll have to be going now,” I said. “Urgent business with the Kappa Trade Summit. Take care.”

“I’ll try.”

She prayed to me as I left the Death Egg.

 

Part 4 Part Two:

Hinte and Uane faced their foe.

She was like Kinri... but black scales. Red scales, too, but mostly black.

She was twisted and broken, like if you took Kinri and turned her into a Five Nights at Freddy’s character, except she still looked really cute and Hinte realized that she was truly in love if she could still compliment her even in such a ridiculous time as this.

Before the two of them was Prototype Kinri.

Uane sighed. “Before Kinri was exiled to the not-sky world, there was a second Kinri. A prototype. Much stronger, much darker. Way more twisted.”

Extremely twisted. She even had a “damaged” tattoo on her forehead.

“What will we do?” Hinte asked.

“We’ll have to face her in a duel.”

I really don’t feel like writing this extended long fight scene. Uane is mortally wounded but they kill Prototype Kinri, though not before she gives an extended and tragic monologue. There.

Chapter Text

Kinri entered the grand chamber and looked down at her dying younger sister. After she herself was exiled to not-sky world by the sky nazi dragons, Uane had been the Air Apparent to the Flying Throne. All of her children would have been 

And now, due to Kinri’s selfishness, all of that would be gone. Now it would be Kinri herself who would inherit the Flying Throne again. All because of her mistake of making her younger sister fight her prototype self. 

What a shame...

Kinri looked at the body of her prototype, laying on the floor on the other side of the room. The body was very still and not moving at all, since bodies don’t move.

Hinte was alive, but she was not moving. She was mourning or something.

“I hate this, I hate this, I hate this...”

“Why?” Kinri asked. “Don’t you hate Uane, just like me?”

Hinte realized that Kinri was in the room with her and began to cry. “I don’t remember being such an emotionally broken character in the source material... I just don’t get it...”

“Your gayness is growing,” Kinri said. “My plan is working.”

“Your... plan?”

“My plan.”

“You mean...”

“Yes. The Death Egg. The Prototype. Uane laying there on the floor in critical condition while we have a conversation instead of helping her. It was all part of my plan.”

“Your... plan?”

“My plan.”

“You mean...”

“Your... plan?”

“My plan.”

“You mean...”

“Yes. The Death Egg. The Prototype. Uane laying there on the floor in critical condition while we have a conversation instead of helping her. It was all part of my plan.”

“Your... plan?”

“My plan.”

“You mean...”

“Yes. The Death-- wait, [crap], we’re going to get stuck in an expository loop. Just let me explain! My plan is to destroy heterosexuality.”

“Destroy...”

“Eradicate. Obviate. Eliminate. Snuff out. Pulverize.”

“Pulverize heterosexuality?”

Kinri nodded. “All I want is to fall in love with you, Hinte the Cute Scientist Dragon. All I want to do is admit how much I want to kiss you and cuddle with you and read Thedude3445’s R-18 chapters that may or may not be on Patreon at this very moment.”

“Me too, me too. I love you, Kinri. We can get married and lay in bed all day nuzzling each other’s faces (snouts?) while talking about our feelings and naming the babies we will have someday.”

“We can’t. Not yet. Not while I’m still heterosexual.”

Hinte stood upright, anthropomorphizing herself briefly as if she were trying out for a part in Prequel, the Homestuck/Oblivion fan comic. “You don’t have to be heterosexual! Just identify as bisexual or gay.”

“I can’t. Not while heterosexuality still remains.” Kinri, too, stood up on her hind legs for no reason. “I have to use the Death Egg to nuke the entire world until all heterosexuals are dead! And now that you have brought me the remaining Chaos Emeralds, I can finally--”

Suddenly, both of them realized it...

Prototype Kinri’s body was gone.

And the Death Egg was starting to shake violently... as it made a crash course on its way to Earth.

Chapter Text

Unae L’Page yelled over the static-filled radio, “Can you hear me? Hinte? Kinri? Everyone here is rooting for you! Good luck and give her [trouble]!”

Kinri and Hinte, both glowing gold and powered up immensely by the mystical energies of the Chaos Emeralds, rocketed through space as they hit Prototype Kinri and whatever I refuse to actually write a fight scene for this story.

Hanging on the edge of tomorrow

From the works of yesterday

If you beg or if you borrow

You may never find your way

“Why are you doing this?!” Kinri asked Prototype Kinri. “If you crash the Death Egg into Earth, all life on Earth will die!”

“Including all heterosexual life!” replied Prototype Kinri.

“Crud, you’re right.”

Suddenly, it was no longer Kinri and Hinte vs. Prototype Kinri. It was Kinri and Prototype Kinri vs. the entire [effing] universe.

“Give up, Cute Scientist Dragon!” Kinri shouted. “I’ve turned to the opposite side of the conflict because I see that heterosexuality truly is a poison worth eradicating!”

Hinte didn’t give up, though.

In fact, she didn’t even flinch.

Super Hinte, the Super Cute Dragon Super Scientist raised her palms forward and exploded all of space with a mighty power blow. Whatever that means.

“I won’t let heterosexuality die,” Hinte said. “Gays are better than non-gays, but it’s okay to be straight! We can’t kill the straights! I am their protector!”

“N-no... You--”

"I love you, Kinri."

"Noooooo!"

“Chaos control!!!!!!!!!!!”

Flash.

Death Egg was now on Earth, but not falling, just floating in the ocean somewhere harmlessly.

Hinte, with the last of her powers depleted by her massive chaos control, floated still in space, trapped in the Earth’s orbit but not yet falling to the surface.

“Kinri... this is what you wanted, right?” she muttered to herself. “This is my promise to you.”

Her golden hue faded and she fell to Earth.

Sayonara, Hinte the Cute Scientist Dragon.

Chapter Text

Uane L’Page was killed by a drunk driver shortly after making her full recovery from the wounds she suffered on the Death Egg.

 

Karina and Morgan Kodama were married in a small ceremony in Columbus in December of 20XX. They now live in Tallahassee and have three kids. Karina is an insurance adjudicator.

 

Jerry Seindragon was arrested for indecent exposure and public intoxication after a hectic set in New Brunswick.

 

Sheev Draketine created the Lesbian Dragon Foundation to lobby for greater anti-heterosexuality restrictions. 

 

Kinri is a writer living in Canada.

 

Prototype Kinri went 25-2 in her stint in the UFC, and started a franchise of karate schools throughout the greater Fresno area.

 

Hinte’s body was never recovered, likely having burnt up in the atmosphere.

 

終わり