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5. The monkey primly turned a page in his book, nodding at Mahandra. Her engines are revved by your brother. Jaye laughed and laughed and laughed... and nearly melted the monkey down for metal when she found out he was right.

4. Girl needs a waxing, the lion said, raising his eyebrows, if you know what I mean. Sharon pulled her socks up and left in a huff when Jaye explained.

3. Girl doesn't need another cookie, the bear-shaped cookie jar told her. She scoffed, ate them all to prove it wrong, and landed herself in the hospital with Salmonella. How the hell was she supposed to know that last one hadn't been fully baked? Everything kinda tasted the same after twenty beers. Honestly. Cheeky little bear.

2. Pour me one? The glass toucan said, looking forlornly at her shot. She mocked the toucan and finished off the vodka on her own, and again had to go to the hospital, this time to get her stomach pumped.

1. "What?" Eric said, lifting his head and resting his chin on her stomach. "Did I do something funny?"

"No no no no no," she said, still stifling laughter. "It's nothing, really. Please." She waved her hands around her hips. "Proceed with the oral sex."

He looked at her oddly, shrugged, and proceeded.

Give him a medal, the wax lion said, winking at her. She flipped him the finger but couldn't stop grinning.