Work Header

Two People Talking - Teal'c and Marvin the Martian

Work Text:

Two People Talking...

"I am Very Displeased!"

The SGC's resident alien stared down at their newest - and, even in the very competitive field they were accustomed to, weirdest - acquaintance, and lifted an interrogative eyebrow.


The eyebrow lifted a touch further.

"Someone has stolen my Illudium Q-36 explosive space modulator! After two thousand years - twice - it has been stolen by an Earth creature. Again!!!"

Both eyebrows came down in a frown of steely suspicion of this small and... unusual alien, and rather more suspicion that the 'someone' alluded to was his own team leader... who may have mistaken it for dynamite. If so, his team leader was in danger of blowing up himself, the rest of the team, and most of the planet, it seemed. Which - while it would effectively save Earth from the same fate for at least another two thousand years - was still not a plan Teal'c could approve of.

"This makes me very cross, even very angry! And when I am very angry, there tends to be kabooms."

The eyebrows lifted again, this time in guarded enquiry. This sounded even less worthy of his approval.

"Kabooms!" the small alien repeated loudly. "Indeed! Many many earth-shattering kabooms!! At least, there would be if someone had not stolen the space modulator and nearly all of my Martians!"

One eyebrow only quirked in mild, wary enquiry. Teal'c could not recall seeing any... Martians. For that matter, Teal'c did not have any idea what the Martians in question would look like, but was reasonably sure he would have noticed them being stolen.

"I brought three cartons of Martians!"

Teal'c did not recall seeing any cartons, either.

The little alien pulled out a small box. "And this is all I have left. Oh dear, if the creature who has stolen them gets them wet, it will be most inconvenient! Don't they know how much havoc three thousand wet Martians can cause?"

The eyebrows shot up in astonishment. Teal'c had to admit - to himself - that he had no idea how much havoc, and was only mildly interested in finding out.

Perhaps these... Martians would be useful in the fight against their enemies.

"And if there is to be havoc caused, it should be in a good cause, don't you think? Such as blowing up the Earth, or capturing and disintegrating Earth creatures with sticky fingers! Stealing my forces of evil is not very nice, not very nice at all!"

And perhaps not. The frown returned, in force, and Teal'c opened his mouth to crush the little alien with a single -

"Drat these Earth creatures, they always make me very cross, indeed!"

- "Indee..." Teal'c stopped, cocking his head, and feeling oddly... verbose.

- the end -