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Come Home To My Heart

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He smiled awkwardly as soon as the guy handled him the white bracelet and thanked him before making his way to the main area of the club. It was as crowded as he expected it to be because it was the beginning of the weekend but he tried not to let all those people intimidate him, knowing there was no better place to find what - or more likely who - he was looking for. The barman was an acquaintance of his so he spent a couple of minutes making small talk before realizing he was holding him back from his job and downed the only glass of wine he was allowed to have. He wanted to move to one of the private rooms.

 

He knew he was easy to spot because he was dressed casually, unlike most people who were there. There was no leather, no collar, just an oversized dark grey hoodie, a pair of skinny jeans and a bright white plastic bracelet that was indicating that he was one of the available subs. The light was dimmed in the first room he stepped in and that could only mean that the scene already began so he sneaked to the first row, trying to ignore the people having their own fun in the backseats. It was hard not to stare because there were quite some submissives by their dominants’ feet, their mouths or their fingers being busy to satisfy so he settled on one of the chairs, his eyes widening as they took in what was happening on the stage.

 

Jeongguk didn’t have a lot of experience with BDSM but it was not because he was lacking interest but more likely because he has never found someone willing to offer him what he was craving. The community was vast but people around Seoul seemed to gravitate around the same interests and they weren’t necessarily eager to experiment new things. He always felt like everyone just wanted to follow stereotypes that were created beforehand. Maybe that was the exact reason why he hasn’t been able to find himself a partner for so long, because he wasn’t willing to give in. He tried to refrain from thoughts as such. He arched his neck so he could see everything that was happening on the small stage better and bit hard on the softness of his lower lip.

 

The centre of the stage was taken by two boys - both equally gorgeous - and he felt his saliva thickening inside his mouth as soon as the shorter one ran his fingers through silver locks. The submissive was kneeling on hard wood, his eyes glued on the man who was walking calmly around him like a feline would around its prey. It was clear that he was sunk deeply because the pace of his breathing would change whenever the pretty blond would take a bigger or a smaller step and Jeongguk felt fascinating by the aura the couple was emanating, his fingers grasping the edge of his chair.

 

“Good boy, puppy. You’re being so sweet for me.” The dominant’s voice was melodic, almost unfitting for the role he was supposed to play so the student found himself gasp, his mouth hanging open at the same time as the sub’s, as if it was welcoming searching fingers. Puppy moaned instead of replying and removed the rest of his clothing as soon as he has been told to do so, his only concern being to satisfy the man beside him. “Such a beautiful pup.” The man hummed and pointed towards a tall table. “Bend over there and let me take care of you.”

 

Nothing really happened but Jeongguk found himself being worked up, the soft cotton of his underwear suddenly feeling like a restrain. He knew what caused the arousal so he resumed watching as he shifted in his place, just in time to catch the submissive’s nipples being teased by gentle fingertips. His body looked very much like his so it was easy for the boy to imagine he was taking the other’s place, drinking in every little movement, every compliment the blond was whispering.

 

The praising never ceased to surprise him. You’re perfect. My pretty boy. I’m proud of you. Those were not things you could necessarily hear during one public scene but the intimacy of them had him adjust the front of his pants at least a couple of times. He felt his cheeks heating up when the dominant looked his way, intimidated by the knowing little smile and by the burning stare. The shorter man knew what he was doing, he was there to impress.

 

“Come on, pup. I want you to fill me up.” The words were spoken to the submissive as the other was getting ready to sit on his lap but hooded eyes never showed the intention to move away from Jeongguk’s face. Tempting pillowy lips formed a perfect “o” as the blond was filled to the brink and he threw his head back slightly, relieving into the feeling of the stretch. Beautiful - that was the only word the student could think of as he tried to imprint the image into his brain. He tried to shush the little voice inside his brain that was trying to make him jealous and did his best to forget that he wasn’t directly involved into the scene because it didn’t feel like it. The Dom’s burning gaze was still on him, no matter how fast or how slow he was moving his hips and Jeongguk almost came when loud moans and whimpers filled the room, his thighs pressing together as if they were pulled by invisible strings, his heartbeat deafening.

 

Before the submissive was allowed to cum, doe eyes searched his whole body, trying to absorb every little detail of it. He was coming to the conclusion that both of them were the embodiment of perfection when he spotted a white plastic bracelet that was very much like his and his heartbeat increased in pace. Puppy did not have an owner. The realization hit him like a train but he tried not to overthink what was going on - after all, it was not his business.

 

“Good job, angel.” The dominant whispered as they came back from the heights, his small hands running all over every patch of uncovered skin they could reach. It was sweet and when he leaned to kiss the other’s lips gently, something pulled Jeongguk’s insides. Anyone could hear the affection coating those words. “You’ve been so good for me.” It looked like a gentle wake-up call, it was supposed to pull the sub gently out of the headspace he entered and the student could swear he never saw anything like it before.

 

He left the room before anyone else moved but decided not to let the ugly green-eyed monster ruin the only night he was spending in the club. He tried to socialize but ended up by the bar once again, this time having a fruity virgin cocktail and seriously considering leaving once and for all. There must have been something wrong with his looks that had people not wanting to start a conversation with him; someone once told him that he didn’t have the looks and the attitude that inspired a submissive but he preferred to ignore those kind of comments and hope that there was someone out there who would like someone like him.

 

The inside of his right cheek ended up being mauled by the time someone sat beside him and once that happened he didn’t turn around, too busy to play with the little blue umbrella that was decorating his drink.

 

“A glass of gin tonic, please.” The voice sounded terribly familiar and when Jeongguk realized why so he froze on his spot, his back arched in an unnatural position.

 

“You had your share, Jimin.”

 

“But I’ve just finished my scene, there is no way I’m playing again tonight.” The man sighed. “Come on -“ The pleading voice had the barman give in worryingly easily and Jeongguk heard some shuffling before something gently brushed against his knee. The corner of his eye caught the sight of thick thighs covered by black denim and he felt the tips of his ears heating when he heard a small “sorry”.

 

“You’re fine.” He replied almost too hurriedly and was almost able to hear the grin that covered the other’s face.

 

“Are you new here?” Truth to be told, he was expecting to hear something like that. He wasn’t new, his anxiety just didn’t allow him to frequent the playrooms as much as he might have wanted. He felt like a failure whenever the nights would end and he would walk back home, the white bracelet still loose around his wrist like a curse.

 

“No, actually.” He straightened his back and turned slightly towards the one beside him, trying not to let his looks intimidate him. Jimin might have been the most beautiful man he had the opportunity to breathe next to. He found himself staring at those plump, perfect lips and snapped out of it only when a pink tongue came out to wet them and a little smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

 

“Well, I’m sure I would have remembered you if I would have seen you before.”

 

“How come?”

 

“You have the prettiest eyes.” A cute little finger rose to touch his cheek briefly and Jeongguk blinked a couple of times, not sure if he heard correctly.“Round and sparkly.” The man sounded so satisfied with the description that the student found himself chuckling, all the tension suddenly leaving his body. He almost couldn’t believe he was having this conversation with a man he just watched in one of the most intimate positions a human being could experience.

 

“Thanks.” He smiled before continuing. “I’m Jeongguk, nice to meet you.”

 

“Jimin.” The dominant looked expensive, a plain turtleneck underlining the fine jaw he was possessing, silver jewelry decorating his pierced ears and his fingers. The way he dressed made his small body seem imposing - how thick were his shoes’ soles? “Did you enjoy the show?”

 

His tone was wicked and the younger suspected it was because he knew what the answer was; Thankfully, his erection died down before he reached the place he was currently in but in reality he was aware of the fact that he wasn’t going to forget those minutes anytime soon.

 

“You know I did.” He replied softly and felt his body growing hotter as brown eyes moved towards his neck and the curve of his shoulder.

 

Jimin hummed and pushed his blond hair back before sipping on his drink. His legs were still orientated towards the other, hinting that the conversation was far from being over. It was clear that the white bracelet hasn’t been left unnoticed because the dominant didn’t flinch at the sight of it.

 

“Can I buy you another drink? This guy -“ He pointed towards the barman. “- can’t resist me.” The latter offered him the middle finger and his first reaction has been to burst into laughter so Jeongguk understood the offer still stood.

 

“I’m not a huge fan of alcohol, actually.”

 

“Oh?” The student smiled sheepishly and shrugged. “Good boy.” It was clearly intended to be a joke but the familiar fluttering in his lower belly was present, reminding him who he was talking to. Less than an hour before, Jimin was taking care of another sub.

 

“I’d like some white wine, now that I’m thinking about it.” The blond raised his brows and as soon as his brain processed the request he burst into chuckles, surprised by the obvious attempt of misbehaving.

 

“Someone is being a brat, I see.” The words made Jeongguk feel giddy and soon enough he was enjoying his beverage, his fingers wrapped tightly around the tall glass. “So why are you here? Just to have a little fun or -”  He left the question unfinished so the student arched his brows.

 

“Or?”

 

“Or are you looking for something serious?” The brown-haired boy tried not to overthink but his heart was already ready to jump out of his ribcage by the time he reminded himself that Jimin was probably simply asking this out of curiosity.

 

“I’d like a long term agreement. I don’t know if I could do casual.” He was not the type who could be involved in a scene in front of tens of people and then go home by himself. He knew how “used” that made him feel because he has tried to a couple of times and nothing good came out of it.

 

“And what kind of submissive are you? What are you looking for in a dom?” The question obviously took Jeongguk by surprise and as soon as his lips parted, Jimin smiled and grabbed his glass. “I’m sorry, am I too inquisitive?”

 

“No -“ He hurried to say and gulped, unsure of how to continue. He wanted to know if there were any hidden intentions behind these curiosities so he would know how much he should reveal about himself.

 

“I’m looking for the same thing as you do.” It was implied that Jeongguk was a potential sub in the equation so his eyes widened, all the air being kicked out of his lungs. “But I need to know more about your preferences before agreeing to anything - that if you will have me, of course.” The blond looked over his shoulder and saw that there was no one who could overhear their conversation, a little voice inside his head whispering to him that the boy in front of him was not a fan of exposing his likings.

 

“I’ll have you.” Jeongguk managed to answer and sipped on his drink while the other propped his head on his right elbow, eyes burning holes into the student’s clothes.

 

“So what do you like, pretty boy?”

 

“A little bit of everything.” He knew that was an evasive question but he had no idea how to put into words the fact that he wanted the exact same dynamic as the one he saw on stage. Maybe Puppy was special for Jimin and he could never achieve that type of closeness.

 

“I’m twenty-six, how old are you?”

 

“Twenty-one.”

 

“So would you like hyung to be rough with you?” Jimin’s voice was teasing but something was telling him rough could be really rough when it came to the blond. Maybe it was his self-controlled aura that convinced him that he was capable of everything available on the BDSM stage. He enjoyed a certain type of roughness but most dominants had a different definition of that word and it usually involved a lot of sadism and of humiliation and that was nowhere near to what he wanted. “Or would you like hyung to take care of you?” The sweetness coating the words had him flinching.

 

Their eyes met for a few burning seconds and Jimin smiled widely, his eyes turning into crescents.

 

“It’s the last option, isn’t it?”

 

Jeongguk nodded.

 

“It’s weird, right?” His words were barely audible and the dominant’s smile faded before he leaned closer as if he was trying to encourage the other to look him in the eye. He was twenty-one years old, he was supposed to act like a man, not to want to be babied.

 

“It’s not weird if it makes you feel good. Pinky promise.” He curled his pinky tempting enough for the younger to curl his own around it and to burst into laughter, aware that they must have looked really out of that place while doing that. “We can try it out and if it’s not what you want then we can simply stop, no obligations.”

 

“I’d like that.”

 

Their conversation has been interrupted by the elder’s phone vibrating on the bar, startling the both of them and Jeongguk tried his best to hide his disappointment when he has been informed that Jimin had to leave. He needed to go and look after Puppy who apparently was in some sort of trouble. It took every ounce of courage for him to write his phone number on a napkin and offer it to the other but it was worth it the huge smile he received as an answer.

 

“I’ll call you tomorrow.” The blond’s words were still spinning inside his head by the time he called for a cab to take him home.

 

His apartment was too quiet, like always, so he dragged his feet towards the bedroom, deciding he wasn’t going to clean up the omnipresent mess. He didn’t like the sound of silence so he put on some music before settling for a game of Overwatch that had him sleeping the minimum of hours that night. It was alright, he couldn’t sleep anyway because he kept going over the whole night’s events over and over again. He felt like it was too good to be true so he tried to prepare himself in case something bad would happen. Jimin didn’t need someone like him, he could have any other submissive he longed for - more experienced, more talented.

 

He had only one class the following day but it was in the morning so he chose another simple hoodie to keep him warm and grabbed his backpack before heading towards the main building, his fingers wrapped safely around his phone. He would run his fingers over the cracks of its screen from time to time while the teacher was speaking and he realized he paid little to no attention to the whole chapter they were discussing when he felt the device buzzing. His heart began to flutter fast and he immediately tapped on the notification.

 

It was from an unknown number. Hi, Jeongguk, it’s Jimin. Would you like to go out for coffee with me today? I am done with work after four.

 

Yes - he would more than like. He was surprised when he was told to choose a place so he suggested one coffee shop that was near his campus, knowing a familiar place would make him feel more comfortable. Five o’clock couldn’t come fast enough.

 

He spent the rest of his day in the library, studying the history of arts because he couldn’t afford failing that exam one more time. With each passing minute he felt more inadequate - his hair was too messy, he shouldn’t have dressed so casually - and the thought only worsened when they actually met because Jimin looked absolutely stunning dressed in a long brownish coat, a pair of round glasses placed on top of his button nose.

 

“Hello.” Jeongguk sounded like a scared mouse so the blond chuckled before replying just the same. “This is one of my favorite places so I hope you’ll like it.”

 

The best thing about that particular cafe was that they had a lot of books, magazines and comics you were allowed to take off the shelves as you were enjoying your coffee and normally, Jeongguk would have gone straight to the Superheroes section but now he had company and the nervousness was eating him alive. Jimin gasped surprised as he looked around and couldn’t help himself from touching some of the books before deciding on a table and encouraging the other to sit down.

Jeongguk already knew he was going to have a latte so he didn’t even look at the menu, instead following long silver earrings dangling from the other’s perfect ears. He couldn’t find a fault in the man’s appearance - he was attracted to everything, from the little mole placed on the left side of his forehead to the way his lips were almost unnoticeably twitching as he was studying the list of caffeinated drinks.

 

The younger offered to place their order and got shy when he came back because cinnamon eyes were following his every step with tender curiosity.

 

“Are you done with school for today?” He nodded. “What are you studying?”

 

They made small talk for a while - about Jeongguk’s major in arts, about Jimin’s job which was (surprisingly) being a high school literature teacher and the more subjects they would open, the more the student would relax on the chair, his interest intertwining with enthusiasm.

 

“I have to come back to this cafe.” The blond said dramatically after taking one gulp of his hot drink and the other rolled his eyes playfully before his signature grin was put on display. “You look like a cute little bunny when you smile.”

 

He had no idea how to accept the compliment but his face heated and Jimin smiled too.

 

“I thought you wanted us to talk about other things too.” It was a daring affirmation so he bit on his lower lip as soon as it was out of his mouth, his long fingers playing with a white napkin he didn’t have the chance to use.

 

“Do you mean our possible arrangement?” Their eyes locked for a few seconds and the younger nodded. “Good boy.” Jimin licked his lips and looked through a huge black bag he brought along until he found what he was looking for - a thick, grey notebook and a pen. Jeongguk wondered how explicit the things they were going to talk about were gonna be because the place was pretty crowded but he hoped no one was going to pay attention to what they were doing. “Would you like to start?”

 

“No, you go ahead.”

 

“Okay. I actually have a few questions already written.” He was curious to see how many dominants Jeongguk had before him and he was surprised when he found out that none of the people who played with him made things official, he wanted to know the tolerance of pain, the days in which they could meet, what kind of dynamic he would like them to have. Was it gonna be 24/7 or just inside the bedroom? “I don’t need a contract if you don’t want to sign one.”

 

“Do you want us to be exclusive?”

 

“I usually am not.” Jimin confessed and watched Jeongguk flinch.

 

“Then I have to refuse your proposal.” He sounded and looked rather sad, his expression betraying some kind of deep wound and Jimin’s first instinct was to lean closer. He was surprised by how categorical the boy was, how he didn’t leave place for negotiations. He found a hand that was resting on the table with his own and squeezed the elegant fingers reassuringly.

 

“No, I will try it.” The blond had no idea what took over him - normally, he wouldn’t have jumped to such a big decision. “Taehyung won’t like it but I will try it.”

 

“Taehyung?”

 

“My best friend.” Jimin grinned. “Puppy. You must remember him.” He did and it suddenly made sense: the chemistry, the familiarity of the choices, they have both been there because it wasn’t a singular scene that took place.

 

“I do.”

 

The man hummed and looked over one yellow page that was filled with scribbles.

 

“So are you a top or a bottom?” It was adorable to see the student turning into all shades of pink and he didn’t hold back from cooing at the sight, his hand still on top of a warmer one.

 

“I can do both.” He has never tried bottoming before but he was going to keep that information for himself until it came the case to be revealed. He truly wanted to try all types of things and he was sure he just needed the right person to guide him through his curiosities. BDSM was truly vast.

 

The notebook was soon offered to him so he answered to all the questions that were written on paper, feeling a sort of arousal whenever he would see something that was turning him on. He confessed he hated the concept of humiliation and exhaled loudly when Jimin didn’t react. Jeongguk looked almost scared while reading his words so the man moved his chair closer, enough to have their bodies almost brushing. He would have wanted to run his fingers through what looked like very soft locks but they didn’t settle the limits.

 

By the time he was done more than an hour passed.

 

“So are you telling me that you won’t date other boys while you’re seeing me?” Jimin’s voice was borderline teasing but the chestnut-haired boy nodded seriously. “You’re so cute, bunny.”

 

He felt his insides melting as soon as he heard the pet name and shifted on his chair.

 

“I’m going to have so much fun with you, I just know it.” Jeongguk was scared to disappoint but when a hand rested on his thigh reassuringly he realized that his feelings were not hard to figure at all. “Thank you for agreeing to meet me.”

 

Just like him, Jimin was not falling into the “usual dom” category and the idea was comforting because it gave him hope that maybe, just maybe, they would fit together. He loved the softness of his voice, the kindness in his eyes, he looked like an actual angel and God knows he always had a soft spot for beautiful men.

 

The man offered to walk with him back to the dorm, knowing that he looked young enough for the guardian not to ask questions and when the time came to part ways the brown-haired boy felt disappointed. He expected something more than just talking - maybe it was because of Jimin’s hypnotizing lips but all he could think about was that he wanted to feel them against his. He wondered how the dom kissed, was he going to be harsh and intimidating? That was how the previous dominants he interacted with have been.

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing.” He lied but still didn’t enter the building he was living in so Jimin sighed almost dramatically.

 

“This is not going to work.” Jeongguk’s full body went rigid, his anxiety spiking. “You can’t lie to me, bun. You have to be honest with the both of us and tell me what you want.”

 

The apples of his cheeks were burning and they both knew it wasn’t because of the breeze that characterized early autumn days. He looked at his worn out black sneakers and mumbled his words so Jimin stepped closer, ready to ask him to say it again.

 

“I want to kiss you.” Jeongguk said before he could open his mouth, their eyes locking as the tips of his ears started to burn. He sounded very sure of himself and it was almost funny how it took only seconds for his confidence to deflate, his eyes seeming even bigger and rounder. The blond covered his mouth with his hand in order to stifle a giggle (it came out squeaky anyway) and before the boy could protest he raised on his tiptoes in order to crush their mouths together.

 

It was the softest kiss Jeongguk ever experienced, pink lips gliding against his carefully, fingers finding the nape of his neck and pulling gently at the brown strands resting there. He could hear his heartbeat inside his ear and he was borderline scared that his heart was ready to fly out of his body any second. When the dom pulled back, he chased the kiss instinctively, brushing their noses together playfully and causing for Jimin to smile against his lips.

 

He looked satisfied with his accomplishment so the blond shook his head, trying to mimic disapproval but failing miserably.

 

“Aish, you’re a brat.”

 

The student bit on his lower lip only to stop himself from protesting and earned another peck on the tip of his nose before the man actually stepped back.

 

“See you soon, Jeonggukie.”

 

“See you soon.” He agreed and almost fled through the open door, feeling already too flustered to function.

 

Everything was moving fast and he was expecting some anxiety to knock the air out of his lungs but realized later that day, when he was brushing his teeth, that he was feeling excitement instead. They sent texts back and forth until his bedtime came but he couldn’t close his eyes, a smile playing on his lips. He felt like a fool but he couldn’t stop the nameless creatures fluttering inside his stomach every time his mind was flying to Jimin.

 

He grabbed the phone resting on his nightstand and re-read all the messages he received from the other, as if he wanted to make sure it was really happening. He fell asleep a little before dawn but he had happy happy dreams.