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On the Way to Heaven (I'm Not Leaving Unless You Come With Me)

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Local Legends Pod ✔ @locallegendspod @thefakerichietozier @billdenbrough58 Would either of you be interested in an interview with regard to living in Derry, Maine?

Teresa 🌲 @teeersa_100 @locallegendspod public call out omfg

steven with a ph @rikernobeard @thefakerichietozier @billdenbrough58 dont do it they always think its a murdercult

Richie Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier @locallegendspod happy to. (and you didn’t hear it from me but talk to @marshfashions & @benhanscomdesign as well)

Beverly Marsh ✔ @marshfashions @thefakerichietozier I cant believe we’re friends.

😎😎liz😎😎 @lizzieliz fashion icon and total hottie @marshfashions somehow friends with trash raccoon @thefakerichietozier?????

Stanley Uris @stantheman Trash Raccoon. (@thefakerichietozier.)

Eddie Kaspbrak @eddiek @thefakerichietozier trash raccoon

Bill Denbrough ✔ @billdenbrough58 @thefakerichietozier ‘[T]rash raccoon’.

Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier @locallegendspod it was totally a murder cult and @eddiek got STABBED in the FACE for the trouble.

l o v e l y b o n e s @littlecreepiesheebiejeebies @thefakerichietozier BUT DID HE DIE???

I… Am a Librarian @mikehanlon @thefakerichietozier You know you made it sound like you were a PART of the murder cult, as opposed to just being in the same town.

Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier My Time In A Murder Cult: A Memoir by Richard Tozier (forward by Cult Leader @billdenbrough58)

Stanley Uris @stantheman I always knew that Hollywood was full of murder cults. Sad. (@thefakerichietozier.)

Audra Phillips Denbrough ✔ @audraaaden @stantheman omg

Bill Denbrough ✔ @billdenbrough58 @audraaaden ‘omg’.

Audra Phillips Denbrough ✔ @audraaaden @billdenbrough58 b l o c k e d

MARIA @agirlnamedmaria @audraaaden and @billdenbrough58 are relationship goals

Ben Hanscom @benhanscomdesign I’m at a meeting for four hours and I come back to chaos in my timeline.

From Altair 4 @jamesgardener @benhanscomdesign [troywithpizza.gif]

Okay, I give up - where are you?

i’m at the baggage claim.

i’ll stand on a chair for you babe.

Look behind you, asshole.

Losers Club 2.0

[15:46] Richie look whose business is finally on the best coast!!! [eddieinlax.png]

[15:46] Richie 'whose' is correct--fuck you grammar wobble.

[15:47] Bev Why are you licking him?

[15:47] Richie he likes it.

[15:47] Stan Gross.

[15:47] Richie don’t you have a job or something?

[15:47] Stan It is almost 6 P.M., Richie.

[15:47] Stan I am in Atlanta.

[15:47] Stan And shouldn’t you be annoying Eddie? That’s what he’s there for.

[15:47] Eddie Speaking of - shouldn’t you be helping me with my luggage, Rich? :)

[15:47] Eddie :) :) :)

[15:48] Bill Okay, who taught Eddie how to passive-aggressively use emoticons?

[15:48] Eddie Your wife.

[15:48] Richie eds spagheds with a righteous zinger there, billy boy.

[15:48] Richie if you don’t hear anything from me it’s because--

[15:50] Patty RIP Richard Tozier, Killed by Edward Kaspbrak.

[15:50] Stan He lived an okay life, honey, and he wouldn’t want us to mourn him for long.

[15:50] Eddie How to Get Rid of a Dead Body

[15:50] Eddie Wait, this isn’t google.

[15:51] Bev Rest in Peace, Richie.

Eddie Kaspbrak @eddiek Would anyone (esp. @thefakerichietozier) like to explain THIS? [richietoziermoustache2007.jpg]

Beverly Marsh ✔ @marshfashions Very Tom Selleck-ian. @eddiek @thefakerichietozier

Eddie Kaspbrak @eddiek @marshfashions I guess, if you want to make a nice comparison.

Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier would you care to explain why you were looking through a box stuffed in the back of my closet hmmmm @eddiek?

Eddie Kaspbrak @eddiek Also found this [losersphotoboothstrip.jpg] @thefakerichietozier @billdenbrough58 @marshfashions @benhanscomdesign @stantheman @mikehanlon.

Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier oh my GOD look at you with your fanny pack--adorable. @eddiek

TMZ ✔ @TMZ Childhood photo of @billdenbrough58 @marshfashions and @thefakerichietozier CONFIRMED. Derry, Maine; 1990.

lisa 👽 @agentlisascully omg @snohomishjen, i think the redhead is @thefakerichietozier!

who killed laura? @snohomishjen fuckign omg @agentlisascully i die

Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier when you’re not quite famous enough to be included in @TMZ’s commentary. @benhanscomdesign

Beverly Marsh ✔ @marshfashions beep beep @thefakerichietozier.

Eddie Kaspbrak @eddiek Beep Beep @thefakerichietozier.

Bill Denbrough ✔ @billdenbrough58 Beep beep, @thefakerichietozier.

Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier i now know what it feels like to be cyber-bullied, and it is NOT a victimless crime. stop cyber-bulling 2k17.

nice things are nice @tozierfan10101wtf is happening rn

𝆱♢laura♢𝆲 @sflauracalibitch @tozierfan10101 id e k but i am liVINg

TMZ @TMZ @benhanscomdesign is an architect, most well-known for designing the new branch of the @Smithsonian in DC.

Ben Hanscom ✔ @benhanscomdesign Look, I got a checkmark.

Audra Phillips Denbrough ✔ @audraaaden @benhanscomdesign you’re famous now, bb, congrats.

Beverly Marsh ✔ @marshfashions @benhanscomdesign [blowingkiss.gif]

Stanley Uris @stantheman Did you make a .gif of yourself, Bev? (@marshfashions.)

Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier i loathe the way you type @stantheman.

BuzzFeed ✔ @BuzzFeed 21 Celebrities Who You Didn’t Know Knew Each Other

💖Rita Hayworth💖 @dufresneonthebrain @BuzzFeed u forgot to mention the murdercults for @billdenbrough58 @thefakerichietozier

ricky ricky ricardo @laboiiiiiis @BuzzFeed what about the murder cult?

not that lee majors @leemajors1994 @BuzzFeed @locallegsndspod MURDER CULT PLZ

Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier @BuzzFeed you guys forgot to mention @eddiek who’s the only REAL celebrity in my mind.

Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier also forgot about the murder-cult, @BuzzFeed, that i was definitely never part of.

Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier @locallegendspod one murder-cult worshiped a turtle god & the other an alien clown. guess which i was in. (i hate clowns.)

🐢turtle cult🐢 @tozierfan10101 @thefakerichietozier ¡¡¡¡¡¡¡omg turtle cult ftw!!!!!!!

i heard a rumor that bill & audra are going to miami?

do you happen to know anything about this mike?

should we all have a reunion or are they going to finally seduce you?

We can all go to Disney, I’ve never been.


Why would I go by myself when I can convince all of you to come with me?

i am a 41-year-old man with no children.

Okay, but they have Star Tours and that new Avatar Land.

James Cameron can suck my entire dick.

but you got me with Star Tours.

Losers Club 2.0

[20:54] Mike Okay, so who wants to visit me in Florida? Bill, Audra, and Richie are already in and we’re going to Disney World because I’ve never been.

[20:54] Richie wait, i just barely agreed to this.

[20:54] Bev Neither have I, Mike, so I’m totally in.

[20:55] Eddie I just finished unpacking my shit into Rich’s condo and now I have to re-pack for a two week trip to Florida?

[20:55] Eddie Guess I’ll just die.

[20:55] Richie babe i’ll help you pack.

[20:55] Eddie You came to Derry with one change of clothing and no toothbrush.

[20:55] Mike hahahahaha

[20:56] Richie it’s because all i could think about was seeing your cute face again after 27 years.

[20:57] Audra need me a man who talks about me the way richie talks about eddie

[20:57] Patty Same, tbh.

[20:57] Patty As the youth say.

[20:57] Audra ‘the youth’.

[20:58] Richie i cannot believe that i went from zero romantic interests to having an eddie AND two extremely lovely ladies whose husbands died from their severe burns.

[20:58] Richie what a difference a year can make.

[20:59] Richie now this is what i call character progression.

[20:59] Bill It’s called character development, and I know that you know that, Richie.

[20:59] Eddie Bill? I thought you were dead.

[21:00] Ben Wow. I am really feeling the love in this Chili’s tonight.

[21:00] Eddie What?

[21:00] Patty What?

[21:00] Bev What?

[21:00] Mike What?

[21:00] Richie does that make Bev Jim?

[21:01] Richie i mean ‘what’?

[21:01] Stan If we want to have the full experience I’ve already made up a list of Disney resorts that can house the entire group.

[21:01] Bill It’s been five minutes, Stanley.

[21:01] Eddie Nerd.

[21:01] Richie you TOOK my line.

[21:01] Eddie You said it out loud, what was I supposed to do? Let you have it?

[21:02] Eddie I don’t think so, Rich.

[21:02] Mike I love my friends.

[21:02] Bill hahahahaha.

I hope it’s okay that I invited everyone else to Florida as well.

It’s just been awhile, is all.

No, don’t worry - I’m happy you did.

Bill wanted to but didn’t feel it apropos.

Considering we’re technically your guests.

You’re never guests and you know it, Audra.

You made Bill tear up, hahahaha.


You two are going to bully me back into stuttering.

Audra, how do you take a screenshot?

I ripped the heart out of a giant spider alien and all I get in thanks and return is being bullied to death.

What a pathetic way to die, considering.

Never mind, I figured it out.

Eddie Kaspbrak @eddiek Life Advice: Your childhood bully? Murder him.

Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier @eddiek you murder me every night, Eds. little deaths. #ifyouknowhwhatimean

Eddie Kaspbrak @eddiek @thefakerichietozier :(

bro that’s gay @brothatsgay @thefakerichietozier @eddiek bro, that’s gay

Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier @brothatsgay bro, that’s *bi.

lisa 👽 @agentlisascully @thefakerichietozier I C O N I Q U E

Beverly Marsh ✔ @marshfashions For further life advice and more news on the Derry murder cult, follow @eddiek.

Local Legends Pod ✔ @locallegendspod Any chance we could get an interview, @eddiek?

Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier @locallegendspod don’t worry, @eddiek’s coming with me. (which is also what happened last night lolol)

🐢turtle cult🐢 @tozierfan10101 @agentlisascully we stan a legend

Eddie Kaspbrak @eddiek @thefakerichietozier :( :( :(

Eddie Kaspbrak @eddiek @thefakerichietozier Guess who's sleeping on the couch tonight?

Richie “Trash Raccoon” Tozier ✔ @thefakerichietozier @eddiek i know it's me and i don't like it.

lisa 👽 @agentlisascully @tozierfan10101 we really do