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What can go wrong, will go wrong... Murphy's law

Chapter Text

“What happened?” Asked Ron Butterfield running into the office of the secret service. He had a mouth full of cotton and his words were muffled by it.

“Welcome to the time of falls alarms!!!” Answered his second in command with the laugh.

“What happened?” Repeated Ron.

“Ainsley had the Braxton Hicks contractions, but the nurse thought that she needed to go to the hospital. Of course, the other two decided to go with her. We had to take full detail with us. I tried to talk Helen into staying in the White House, but because Sam was on the Hill, Josh and Matt were in the Sit-room, I could not talk her out of it.”

“OK. Since when they all became your friends?” Asked Ron. “When did you drink beer with President and others?”

“Matt asked me to call him by name only.” Answered Mike looking at the floor.

“I do not care if he ordered you to fly to the moon, you will call him and others by their titles or Mr. and Mrs. nothing else. Is it understood?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. So, what’d happen?”

“We got to the hospital and Mrs. Seaborn was taken to the room. Mrs. Santos and Mrs. Lyman were waiting in the waiting room…”


4 hours earlier.

“I cannot believe that children cannot go trick-or-treat around the city.” Helen Santos complained to her friends.

“Helen, we talked about it, there are security concerns.” Answered Donna. “Besides, do you really want to go around the city with a newborn?”

“Of cause not. I will leave a baby with Matt and take the children trick-or-treating.”

“How old would be a baby by then?” Asked Ainsley between putting a piece of the muffing in her mouth and drinking Fresca.

“If everything will go as planned, the baby would be 10 days old, and believe me, Matt is incredible with babies. He knows that I would need a few hours out of the nursery, and he will let me take the children trick-or-treating.”

“OK, let me make a few calls and maybe, just maybe, I would be able to set up something at the Capitol. We let the congress know that kids will be coming up for an hour, they will go from office to office, and maybe the congressmen will have some candies on hand. I will ask Josh to put the fear of the Gods in them to make sure that they have candies for the President’s children.” Said Donna chewing celery dipped in peanut butter.

“Do you think that they will let us do it? I really want the children to have some fun. With the new baby and everything, I do not want them to feel unloved.” Said Helen while she put one more spoon of extra-spicy salsa in her mouth.

“Do not worry, Ron would love to have a secured location, and what is more secure than the Capitol? I will tell Sam too to begin letting everyone know that the kids are coming to trick-or-treat. He is almost every day on the Hill, he can do our bidding too.” Added Ainsley.

“Do you think that I am asking a lot?” Asked Helen with the unsure voice.

“A lot? No, not a lot, considering that none of us had sent any of our husbands to bring us something from the store, that they cannot find at home in at least last three weeks, we can ask them, and I am underlining, all three of them, to make a few calls and make sure that ALL offices have candies for children.” Said Donna.

“Donna, I still cannot believe that I sent Matt to buy the anchovies at 2 am!!! He got to bed only an hour before, and he tried to be sweet and so cuddly considering that he spent in the Sit-room last 3 hours. I sometimes think that I have lost my mind.” Laughed Helen.

“The best part was, that after telling secret service agents that he needs to go to the store to buy anchovies, they let him!!!” Laughed Donna.

“Yes, they drove him to the store, and one of the agents went in and came back with the manager who brought an assortment of anchovies for Matt to choose from. I do not understand, why they could not just send someone to the store? Why they let Mett go?”

“I overheard Ron talking to the agents. He instructed them not to argue with any of our husbands when they are sent to buy something that we want. He ordered them to drive to the store and asked a manager to come to the car. ‘When the necessary product would be selected, go back to the store and buy a case or two, just in case.’ This was the exact instruction that Ron gave to the agents.” Said Ainsley while touching her stomach, and telling the baby to go to sleep.

The women continued to laugh until tears showed in their eyes.

“Oh my God. Now I know why we have two cases of anchovies! I cannot stand them. I wanted them just that night!!! Can I return them?” Asked Helen wiping her eyes.

“Let just give them to Ron as the Birthday gift with two cases of chocolate-covered dried guava.” Added Donna with a mouth full of celery and peanut butter.

“And do not forget a case of 36, sorry 35 cans of root beer with caramel. I cannot stand this thing! I just wanted to test it, just once. I asked Sam to buy me one on his way from the Hill, two hours later the agent showed up with the case and asked if I want anything else.” Hysterically added Ainsley.

“By the time we will give birth, Ron will be hauled away to the nuthouse.” Said Donna.

“Hopefully in 20 days, on October 21 at 3 am I will go in labor and by 3 or 4 pm I will have a baby in my arms and by 7 pm I will be back home.” Said Helen, “Wait, when I began thinking about the White House as home?”

“The day when you find out that you are pregnant and cannot go back to Huston. Am I right?” Asked Donna.

“Probably. But I am not staying in the hospital one minute longer than necessary.” Added Helen.

“You are both so lucky, you know your due dates. I am feeling like I am a floating holiday. My due day is anywhere from 10 to 31. How it is possible not to have a specific date?” Said Ainsley with annoyance petting her stomach.

“Say thank you that you need a due date. With your problems, it is a miracle by itself that you are having a baby.” Pointed Helen.

“You are right, I should not complain. But it is so difficult to plan, I can give birth in nine days, or go all the way to Halloween, and I do not want to have a baby on Halloween. Scarlet had a baby on Halloween, and you know what had happened...” Said Ainsley.

“Are you talking about Scarlet O’Hara? She did not give birth to any of her children on Halloween.” Donna said with surprise written all over her face.

“In the second book she did.”

“What the second book?” Donna and Helen asked in unison.

“I read this book; the name of the book is Scarlett by Alexandra Ripley. It is a sequel to ‘Gone with the Wind’. I never heard the name of the author before. It is not bad, but definitely below the standard of the original.” Explained Ainsley. “In this book, Scarlett gives birth to her umpteenth child on Halloween. I do not want to give birth to a baby on Halloween, no one wanted to play with the baby. I do not want it for my child. I want her to be popular.”

“With our luck, all three of us will give birth on Halloween.” Said Helen.

“You would be 10 days past your due day, and I would be 7 days overdue. I do not think that Josh would be able to handle it.”

“Why are you always worry about Josh and what he can and cannot handle?” Asked Helen.

“Because I want to have him around as long as possible, and I want to be able to blame him for everything.” Said Donna chowing her salary. “I have another question, what are we going to do on Sunday?”

“Oh, God. Donna, please stop talking about Sunday.” Whined Helen.

“Thank God, I can stay home.” Said Ainsley.

“Oh, no, if I have to go, you two will be there with me, I am not going along.” Said Helen.

“You won’t be along; you are hosting the state dinner with your husband. You are the great hostess of the United States. You’re…”

Helen did not let Donna finish the sentons and throw the pillow at her.

“I consider you a friend. Stop being my COS!!! You are on maternity leave!” Laughed Helen. “But seriously, I do not feet in any of the dresses. I asked Matt to postponed the dinner, but he told me that the dinner was postponed twice and they cannot do it again. I asked him what will happen if I go into the labor during the dinner, he said that I will be taken to the hospital and he will come as soon as he can. What is wrong with this dinner? Why it was postponed twice?”

“To be honest, I do not know what happened before, I wasn’t here,” answered Donna. “The only thing that I managed to get from Mrs. Bartlet was that the wife of Prime Minister got sick and they needed to leave a day earlier. The second time, the visit was postponed and no one knows why. This time, everything is set. So, you and I will need to find something to wear and be presentable. I called Tiffany Rose; she’s sending dresses for you to try tomorrow. She offered to donate them, but I told her that if she’ll donate them, you would need to donate it to the charity. But I think that you would like to keep a dress or two.”

“Donna, I never heard about her.”

“She is a fairly new designer; she began her business in 2003. The prices are decent and the styles are great.” Said Ainsley.

“How do you know it?” Asked Donna.

“I tried to find something to wear to my cousin's wedding. I found her on the internet.” Ainsley said putting one more piece of muffing in her mouth.

“Did you buy something from her?” Asked Helen.

“No,” sighed Ainsley. “I told Sam that we are not going to the wedding because I cannot see my feet. He agreed that it would be better for us to stay in DC and just send a gift.” She sighed again, “I really wanted to go…”

“Ainsley, why didn’t you tell Sam that you want to go?” Asked Helen.

“He was so busy. Plus, I sent him to bring a watermelon at night. I felt guilty.” Said Ainsley almost crying.

“Ainsley, just calm down, you will be fine. We all are almost at the finish line. Very soon you will have a baby in your arms, and everything will be forgotten.” Said Helen.

“Ains, Sam loves you. If you tell him that you want to go to your cousin's wedding tonight, he will make it happen.” Added Donna.

“I do know it, but I feel like he no longer can stand me. He does not talk to me. He comes home, we eat and we go to bed. He kisses me goodnight and falls asleep. I do not know what to do.” Cried, Ainsley.

“You are lucking. By the time I get out of the restroom, Josh is asleep on top of the covers. Ains, they are as tired as we are. On top of everything, they have to deal with Kazakhstan.”

“Donna is right, Matt is exhausted too. He told me that he needs a vacation. He said that if Vinick cannot fix the situation by the end of the year, he will fix it with all-out war.” Helen said with the sigh.

“Yeah, it is getting really bad.” Said Donna.

“No kidding. Sam is the only one that deals with the internals, but Matt and Josh have to deal with internal and external politics.” Added Helen. “OK, as fun as our husbands’ problems are, we still need to deal with Sunday’s dinner.”

“As I said before, the dresses will be here tomorrow, we will try them, and see what we can wear. I will buy at least two, I am more than sure that it would not be my last pregnancy.” Said Donna and touched her stomach.

“It’s great. One child is not enough. The kid needs a sibling to play with.” Pointed Helen. “Ainsley, what is wrong?”

“I do not know. I have this nagging pain in my back and stomach. It comes and goes, but I do not think that these are contractions, but they are not going away.” Ainsley said while touching her stomach.

“Why didn't you say something? You need to go to the hospital, just in case. You are past 34 weeks; you can go in labor any day.” Helen said while she was standing up and walking to the phone next to the door.

As soon as Helen stopped talking on the phone, two agents and a nurse entered the room.

The nurse approached Ainsley and began asking questions, “Mrs. Seaborn, what kind of pain do you have? How long do you have pain? Where is the pain?”

Ainsley answered her questions with a smile, but the nurse did not smile.

“Ma’am, it is possible that you have Braxton Hicks, but I would feel better if you will go to the hospital.” Said the nurse and asked the agents to bring the car to the back entrance.

“Where is Ron?” Asked Helen.

One of the agents said that he went to the dentist.

“He went to the dentist? During the day?” Asked Helen with a touch of surprise.

“Yes, ma’am. He had pain for the last two weeks and was postpending his visit to the dentist, but today when he was briefing the President, Mr. Lyman said something about ‘secret plan to protect the President’ and Mr. Butterfield immediately left. He said that he will be back in two hours.” One of the agents answered.

Donna began hysterically laughing. Helen and Ainsley looked at her in total shock.

Donna looked up and said, “What?”

“Why are you laughing? The man went to the dentist.” Asked Helen.

“Because Josh sent him there, by threatening him to go on TV and invent the secret plan to protect the President.” Answered Donna.

“I do not understand.” Said Ainsley.

“This is a long story. Suffice to say that it worked on Ron and he went to the dentist. Now we need to take Ainsley to the hospital. Had Sam come back from the Hill?” Asked Donna

“No, ma’am, but we will let his agent know that he needs to go to GW.”

“Don’t bother, I will call him from the hospital. Let just hope that I am really in labor…” added Ainsley.

“So, we put them in the SUV and drove to the GW. The doctor put Mrs. Seaborn on the monitor and 20 minutes later the contractions stopped. Meanwhile, Mr. Seaborn got to the hospital, following by the President and Mr. Lyman. All of them assumed that all three women went into labor. We had to shut done the hospital and move all non-critical passions to other hospitals.” Mike continued his explanation. “Doctor assured me that for the next 3-4 weeks it would be an almost daily occurrence. The director of the hospital asked me not to bring the President to the hospital every day. He worries that they will lose their insurance coverage or something.”

“OK. I will talk to him. We will see what can be done.” Said Ron with a thoughtful voice.

“What are you going to do when the babies will be born and they decide to go to 'mommy and me' classes?” Asked Mike.

“I thought about it. Do you know how many babies are going to be born around the same time in the West and East Wings?”

“I am not sure. Why?”

“I talked to the legal department they said that we could have a school/nursery in White House if we have more than 7 babies.” Explained Ron.

“You are kidding?”

“No. I talked to the principle of the school where the President’s kids go, and she told me that I can make a detached classroom from her school in the White House. She added, that the teaches would be on her payroll, but work in the White House. She actually would like if they were not in the school until first grade. Too many problems with the parents about security procedures.” Added Ron. “And it would be easier on the detail. Kids will be in the White House all the time; we just would need to deal with some outings. What do you think?”

“You know, it could work. Do you want me to check how many babies we are having?” Asked Mike.

“Yes. Tell them that we could have the nursery here. We need a minimum of 7 kids of the same age.” Said Ron, and sighed. “I am going to talk to the President.”

“I do not envy you.”

“Yeah. I do not envy me too.” Smiled Ron.