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Our Stupid Fucks

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From : Roose Bolton
To : Balon Greyjoy
No object

Good morning, Balon.

We need to discuss certain things urgently. It has something to do with our sons. I think that, not only they are having sex regularly, but they are also a little too much obssessed with each other. Well, Ramsay is anyway. They are in a romantic relationship as well, I believe.
When I said we needed to cooperate against the Starks, I was not imagining that, although it can be a way to reach our enemy more easily. Theon is quite close to the Stark boy, I only need to make my son jealous if he isn't already, and soon, all of these stupid wolves will be dead. We will be free to run the market as we wish. You know how Ramsay is, it will work. It could be of real use this time. In the end, this thing they have rather is a good surprise.

Call me whenever you can,

Roose Bolton.


Baby Theon. 11:00. Ramsay.
Baby Theon. 11:01. Omg. Ram. Ram !!
Baby Theon. 11:01. Im in trouble !!!
Baby Theon. 11:02. U have to help me. Please. i dunno what to do.

<3Ramsay. 11:05. Theon, calm down. You know I'll do. What happened ?

Baby Theon. 11:06. He knows about us Ram my dad knows im with a man!! i dunno how but he knows and he kicked me out i dont have a house anymore and he prevented me from TAKING ALL OF MY CLOTHES WITH ME I ONLY HAVE FIVE DIFFERENT OUTFITS AND A BIT OF LINGERY ITS KILLING ME RN

<3Ramsay. 11:08. Don't be a drama queen we'll collect your other clothes later, dumbass. What you really need is a house right now, don't you ? Don't go to your stupid Robb, come to my house.

Baby Theon. 11:11. Ur mansion u mean

<3Ramsay. 11:11. We don't care if it's a house or a mansion, Theon, you need a home. I'll wait for you.

Baby Theon. 11:12. but your dads ok with that ?

<3Ramsay. 11:13. He will, he doesn't have the choice.


From: Roose Bolton
To: Balon Greyjoy
No object.

I know you were not brilliant, Balon, but your foolishness without any limit is really disappointing. I thought we had a deal, and you decided to listen to your stupid homophobia rather than your reason, rather than me. I could have helped with our Stark problem, but from now on, you are my enemy too. Manipulating Ramsay and your son is quite easy, you will soon be dead, and the wolves with you.
You have raised Theon well by the way, I do not understand why you kicked him out really. He is so grateful he would do anything to make me happy with his presence. I am quite pleased with that. He obeys me. I think he might fear me. Well, you should be afraid, and he should not. You know, Ramsay is still mad at you. You hurt his precious boyfriend...

Have a nice day.
Roose Bolton.


"Good morning, Ramsay. You are already awake..."

Ramsay usually prefered to get up late, lazy as he was. Surprisingly, he had already finished making breakfast, and was eating greasy bacon messily, with his fingers, which were already glowing with fat. What a disguting sight he created, and those chewing sounds annoyed Roose already. Bad blood, bad manners, of course. Still, the breakfast was actually a welcomed gesture. Since Theon lived here, his son has changed for the better, and his father found it rather pleasing.

"Hello, father."

However, something was wrong. Someone was missing. And that someone was usually the one cooking breakfast for them.

"Where is Theon ?" Roose asked, suspicious.

"Oh, still sleeping. I kept him awake all night, he is too tired to get up. I will bring him some eggs later."

Ah yes, that. They had fucked during a very long time yesterday, and Roose surely had heard Theon screaming his own son's name when he was reading in his private library, peacefully. He had to move into his bedroom in order to find some quietness, and before the walls begin to shake because of their mess.
Rolling his eyes, he sat in front of his son, legs under the long, crimson tablecloth, still perplexed. No matter how tired he was, Theon always tried to be polite; always awake early, always making breakfast, always looking polished and smelling parfume. Besides, there was something off with Ramsay's grin.

"Are you sure he is feeling well, Ramsay ? It is the first time since he was here that he-"

"Hm he's fine, dad, I only fuuucked him hard, very hard."

"Watch your tongue, Ramsay." Roose warned.

He decided to be quiet, not wanting the discussion to go on and to hear anything else from his son, who looked very satisfied with his idiocies.
Perhaps he should have left him with his mother, instead of accepting him as his son.

"Try the bacon. He is as deliciouuus as Theon. You know, last night, he did something amazing with his t-"

"Don't make me repeat myself, Ramsay. I don't want to hear about it, is it understood, or do you need me to make you understand ?"

The cold tone made Ramsay shut up, and his smile slowly faded, his lips disappearing behind his white, sharp teeth, sinking into the pink flesh of his mouth. Ramsay would find something to piss him off later, but for now, he only felt, without any doubt, intimidated. Too intimidated to talk about his penis in Theon again, or about Theon's tongue doing something incredible. And if he dared to open his mouth one more time, he will just have to suffer the consequences. Maybe he should just take Theon away from him for a day or two, sending the boy to his sister or to a friend, even this stupid Robb Stark. Roose was well aware Theon would obey him anyway, he would not want to lose a home for the second time in one week.

A groan almost made Roose jump, who was to focused on his new idea for Ramsay's future punishment, although he didn't actually jump, because he always kept his composure. A second groan followed shortly, and Roose raised an eyebrow, confused by the way his stupid son looked. His eyes were shut, and he kept on grunting, as if he had inadvertently hit the chair with his toes. For a moment, Roose really thought Ramsay was suffering, but a particular sigh that couldn't be mistaken for anything but a sigh of pleasure proved him wrong. He immediatly began to believe that his son was fooling around, trying to make him angry or to mock him.

"Ramsay what are you doing ? Are you alright ?"

A hint of threat floated in his words. He could as well have commanded him to stop this joke, it would have been the same thing.

"But father, he is sooo good..."

"Are you out of your mind, boy ? Make him stop right now. Or I punish you both, and you won't like it, Ramsay..."

Of course they would do something like that someday. They were both sick, as crazy as the other, and there was actually nothing Roose could do to make them stop. Indeed, Ramsay has acted so much better since Theon was in his life that Roose prefered it this way. He could not prevent them for seeing each other, or else his son will be worse than Satan. Besides, he still needed them for his plan with the Starks. At least, Walda was hopefully at her father this week-end, and she didn't see this horrible scene.

"Come on baby, daddy wants to see you." Ramsay said, a sinister smile on his face, his mocking tone almost unbearable.

Theon emerged from under the table, like a mermaid from the sea, his auburn hair wet from his recent shower, water running down his spine, stark naked, his chest still tanned by the sun, looking perfect, like a marble statue. He seemed proud, his big, lagoon green eyes turning toward Roose.

"You are disgusting, both of you. You will stay in your bedroom today, and I don't want to see anything like that again. You are lucky Walda was not here, you could have killed her."

If Ramsay only chuckled at that, Theon had the decency to blush.

"I am really sorry, Mr. Bolton, I won't do it again", he apologied, almost bowing. "It was your son's idea. Please, don't kick me out."

"Theon, you slut !! You accepted right away ! We just wanted to actually do it before dad-"

"In your room. Both of you. Now. I don't want to hear about it." Roose warned, his voice low and menacing.

Theon stood-up before Ramsay, who slapped his round bottom as soon as he could, taking great pleasure in his revenge.

"Yes, that's it, in our room, so I can punish you for your bad words, bitch."

Roose sighed, watching them climbing the stairs clumsily, Ramsay trying to put his hands everywhere on Theon's body, touching his skin whenever he could. They were going to make him crazy.


From: Roose Bolton
To: Walda Bolton
Ramsay and Theon

Good evening my dear,
I hope your are doing well. I had a little problem this morning. Theon was blowing Ramsay under the table during breakfast, it was absolutely disguting. Maybe I shouldn't have "adopted" Theon...



From: Walda Bolton
To: Roose Bolton
RE: Ramsay and Theon

Hello darling !
I'm having a great time really ! My sister is jealous I get to live with Theon Greyjoy in my house ! I must say that he is indeed charming; I personaly am very happy with the adoption, as you called it. I will tell you everything tomorrow I promise ! Have a good night, honey, and please don't be so serious. They are young and dumb, that's all, this is harmless for once. You shouldn't regret anything ! You should laugh !
I love you! See you tomorrow !

Your Walda.


Ramsay. 17:54. Guys ! Something hilarious happened today !

Damon. 18:01. what happened rams ?

Ramsay. 18:02. Theon sucked my dick under the table while my dad was eating breakfast it was priceless !!!

Skinner. 18:09. OMG XD

Ben.18:10. Congratulations ?



Theon. 18:40. Robb, Yara... I hate my life...