At the time, Steve had thought it was one of those things long-time married couple did. They had their own languages, in-jokes and whatever the equivalent was for insults, that only they understood. Steve had brushed it off as just one of those things -- and had, deep down in the very back of his mind, dared to think that someday he might have something like that with Danny, too.
Only it turned out that when she'd called Danny a cat she'd meant it literally. Steve stood in his living room, staring down at the small sandy-white cat that was sitting there, looking around disdainfully. Steve frowned. It wasn't like he never vacuumed, no matter what Danny had to say about it when he was, you know, human and had the right sort of vocal chords for speaking English.
The cat turned its -- his, his because it was Danny and Steve had watched him change and there was no denying that this was Danny, only small and furry and still apparently annoyed with Steve. Danny blinked up at him and lifted one paw in a fashion that Steve would never, ever, out loud call 'dainty' where Danny could overhear him.
The cat narrowed his eyes -- Danny, Danny narrowed his eyes and Steve didn't think he was really catching up quickly enough with recent revelations. Steve shrugged. "What?" he demanded, falling back on old stand-by counter-arguments for dealing with his partner: deny everything until you figure out what he's yelling about.
Danny shook his head and tip-toed through the pile of his clothing then leapt up onto the couch where he laid down. He glared at Steve again, who thought this was pretty unfair.
"It isn't like I did this," Steve waved a hand, because he had no clue about a lot of things involving people who suddenly turned into cats. But Rachel had said Danny turned into a small house cat and while Steve hadn't realised she meant really, she also hadn't warned him about not doing certain things to trigger it.
Unless it was triggered by an offer of a blow job in the middle of the day, and Rachel simply hadn't thought there was any point in telling him. Only Steve was pretty sure Rachel knew how Steve felt before Danny ever did, so probably it was just not what triggered the transformation.
Steve rubbed his head, feeling the beginnings of a slight headache. Maybe he should call Rachel and find out what he should do. But Danny had said Rachel and Stan were going to England -- Steve had had to endure Danny's bitching about not seeing Grace for three weeks and do what he could to distract his partner, which had led to what was supposed to be sex in the middle of the afternoon.
But now he wondered if Grace turned into a cat as well, or if she hadn't inherited the tendency from her father. Which begged the question of whether this was genetic or an acquired condition.
Which begged the question of how the fuck does this even happen and Steve knew that asking that very question was going to be his number one priority as soon as Danny could talk again.
Steve went over and sat on the couch -- getting a quick glare from Danny that made Steve flinch. "Oh, sorry," Steve said as Danny whipped his tail out from underneath Steve's leg. "I was never a cat person. I mean, like normal--" Another glare, and Steve tried again. "We didn't have pets when I was a kid."
There, that made the glare settle down a bit. Nothing like a hinted reference to his poor neglected childhood, Steve had found, to soften his partner's rants and distract him from whatever Steve had done to deserve being yelled at. Not that Steve would stoop to doing anything like that on purpose -- most of the time -- but he figured that today of all days he was allowed a little slack from being considerate and thoughtful.
He looked at Danny who seemed to be comfortable enough, if still looking rather annoyed. Steve reached over and petted Danny's head.
Danny's head whipped up, eyes wide in disbelief, expression changing into outrage before he just shifted slightly away -- as far as he could without actually getting up -- and settled his head back down on his front paws. He closed his eyes again, the tip of his tail twitching.
Steve waited a moment for Danny to get comfortable, watching as his muscles relaxed and he fell into a doze, then Steve reached over and petted him again. He laughed as Danny's eyes snapped open again. "Sorry, can't help it. You're small and furry -- not that that's really different from usual," Steve added, and while Danny did have claws at the moment he didn't really think Danny would use them on him.
Danny gave him a scathing glare and shifted again, actually moving his body away from Steve before resting his head back on his paws and closing his eyes. He left one paw outstretched and flexed his claws meaningfully.
He wasn't really sure why Danny was just laying down for a nap after unexpectedly changing into a cat in the middle of Steve's living room. For all Steve knew Danny had been expecting it and was just waiting for it to be over. Perhaps it was involuntary, Steve realised, like an epileptic having a seizure. Nothing to do but wait it out.
He glanced back down at Danny and decided he really couldn't resist, and besides which, he shouldn't have to. He reached over and rubbed Danny's exposed belly, all soft fur and warm skin, and Steve got almost two full-length rubs in before four paws closed around his wrist and Danny's sharp teeth were poking into his hand.
Steve scooped Danny up and tucked him into his arms, Danny on his back, like he'd seen Catherine do with a neighbor's cat. That cat hadn't enjoyed it much either, but Catherine had cooed over it and Danny -- well, Danny deserved every indignity he could get.
Served him right for not warning Steve this sort of thing would happen.
Steve rubbed Danny's stomach and avoided the swipes of claws and fangs, until Danny flipped himself over in Steve's arms and shot across the room, disappearing into the kitchen.
Steve leaned back and waited. Rachel had made it sound like these spells didn't last long, only a few hours, and Danny was acting like nothing special needed to be done to reverse it. Which meant Steve had plenty of time to pester his partner into a complete outrage before he'd change back and take his aggression out on Steve in the manner he'd been angling for all morning.