They sat together in (Y/N)’s room. It was 5 o'clock in the evening, and they were having a chat, telling each other about their April break exploits.
(Y/N) had fucked all of the guys. She had a lot of fun and even tried acid with Syd Barret. She couldn’t tell if she had hallucinated half of the night's events, or if they had been real.
“I had a crazy trip. At one point I was screwing Syd and Jimmy came into the room, and I confessed to him while Syd and I were doing it. Just like, right in front of him! He didn’t even care.” When she said it out loud, she found herself seeing how ridiculous the story was. There was absolutely no was that it happened. It must have been the drugs.
“That’s absolutely insane,(Y/N). I don’t really remember a lot from that night! But what I do know is that David and I are through. That guy was a total douche.” They both laughed.
“So what are you planning on doing? Don’t you want Jimmy to be your boyfriend?” (F/N) asked.
“Well… I definitely feel something. But it’s not as strong as it used to be, y’know? I don’t think I’m ready for a serious relationship yet. Not to mention I have to figure out what to do with John and Roger. Oh, and Krist is in the picture too. And Jim. Oh god, it’s too much.” She slumped in her seat.
“Well, it’s good that summer is just around the corner! The boys are going into the city for some record deal meetings, and they invited me to come with! I’m so excited.”(F/N) grinned.
“Oh wow! That sounds like a lot of fun. Just getting away from town for a while would be amazing.”(Y/N) leaned back and sighed.
“Do you want to come with us? It’ll be like a little vacation!”(F/N) suggested.
“Sure! When do we leave?”(Y/N) said with excitement.
“Road Trip!” (F/N) yelled out the window, from the passenger seat of Kurt’s Scooby-Doo van. The sun was setting, creating a warm glow on the summer sky as the gang of misfits sped down the road into the city. There was a buzz of excitement around the group.
“Turn up Lou Reed!!” She screamed as Kurt slapped her hand away from the radio.
“If it’s any louder, it’ll blow out my speakers! I just got them fixed, asshole!” He yelled over Lou Reed’s soft voice. (F/N) smiled at him endearingly.
While it was a party up in front, it was business in the back. (Y/N) was sitting between Dave and Krist, staring intently at a large map and chewing the cap of her highlighter. She was marking up the route but unfortunately had gotten a bit mixed up and couldn’t figure out what they had to do next. Krist was grumbling about having to sit in the back and staring out the window. Dave was looking over (Y/N)’s shoulder, looking very confused. Maps weren’t his strong suit, I guess.
“I think you go onto the next exit, Kurt.” (Y/N) peeked over the large map into the rearview mirror.
“Yes, ma’am.” He immediately changed lanes.
“Um, Kurt?” (Y/N) looked nervous. “I’m not sure where we are even going. Like this map doesn’t even make sense? I think I marked something wrong somewhere.”
“Let me see!” (F/N) grabbed the map, Kurt peeping at it occasionally.
“That’s weird… Is this in a different language?” (F/N) squinted.
“You’re holding it upside-down, (F/N).” (Y/N) snatched it back. Kurt snorted.
“Let’s just keep doing what you think is the right way, we’ll get there eventually!” Dave smiled at (Y/N).
“At least you have faith in me,” (Y/N) mumbled under her breath.
“I want the passenger seat!” Krist whined.
“I already called shotgun! You know how it works.” (F/N) stuck her tongue out at him. Krist looked very offended.
The van sped faster down highways and dusty roads, getting closer to the big city. Soon the sun was completely gone, and the only light came from the headlights of the cars around them. Dave had fallen asleep in his seat, snoring softly. Lou Reed was still playing full blast, though it had been a few hours. Kurt was on his seventh five-hour-energy, and Krist was still Kristing. So basically everything was the same.
The highway tapered off into what looked to be a small town. It looked strange, seeing barely any cars on the road after the many busy highways they had been on that day.
Kurt rapidly slowed the van to just above the 40mph speed limit. Suddenly, red and blue lights appeared as a police car darted out of a hiding spot at a nearby narrow street.
“Fucking asshole! What the hell?!” Kurt cursed as he pulled over, heat radiating off him. Dave jerked awake with a loud snore and mumbled sleepily.
“Okay guys, whatever you do, DON’T say that we have weed anywhere in this car. Or alcohol. Or anything else. In fact, there’s nothing in this car, it’s a void.” Kurt whispered to the occupants of the backseat. “The car is a construct.”
“You could pretend to be our mom? Driving us home from a soccer game?” Dave sleepily offered.
“No, it’s okay guys! I got this one!” (F/N) smiled.
“You’re going to ‘get this one’ by not speaking, because if you open your mouth you will for sure fuck it up somehow.” Krist narrowed his eyes.
“You’d get one hell of a fine if I wasn’t here, Krusty!” (F/N) sighed. Looking through the rearview, she tore off her shirt quickly. Everyone in the car instantly began screaming.
“WHOA WHOA WHOA, PUT IT BACK ON!” Dave reeled back in his seat.
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?@!” Krist screamed.
“(F/N)...” (Y/N) held her head in her hands.
“Trust me you guys, I’ve seen this all the time! If you show an officer your boobs and cry he’ll let you off the hook.” She said, shimmying her pants off.
“DON’T KEEP GOING, WHAT THE HELL?!” Krist tried desperately to throw his body further into the van, but his body was just too large.
“Quick, Kurt, switch places with me!” She whispered frantically.
“No, you nutcase. I’m taking this one.”
The officer approached the van and tapped the window.
“License and registration, please.” He said in a gruff voice. It was a large, beefy man with a handlebar mustache.
“Yessir.” Kurt handed him the documents. The policeman looked through them and nodded.
“Where are you guys headed off to in such a hurry?”
“Mommy’s driving us home from soccer!” Dave yelled.
“God, Dave! Shut the up! You’re fucking everything up!” A very emotional Krist said from under the seat.
“You think this is fun and games, do you? You think this is funny?” The officer said sternly.
“No, no. I’m sorry, sir. He just woke up. We’re headed to the big city. We’ve got a show to play.” Kurt reasoned with the officer.
“I’m just screwin’ with you son. I see the likes of you drivin’ through here quite a bit. Usually drunk as a skunk. You lot seem pretty level-headed to me.” He crossed his hairy arms.
“What might your name be, pretty lady?” The policeman glanced further into the car. Kurt had been shielding that area with his body up until this point.
“(F/N)!” She smiled.
“You best put some clothes on, missy! Aren’t you cold?” He asked.
“Uh oh… Maybe a little.” She frowned. The man laughed.
“There ya have it! How much?” He smiled. (F/N) thought for a moment.
“Um… Thirty dollars?-”
“ZERO. She means ZERO because she is not a hooker, isn’t that right?” Kurt strained through clenched teeth.
“My mistake, fellas. Anyway, better get back on duty. Catchin’ crime, you know how it goes.” He tipped his hat. “Have a good night, y’all.”
As the officer walked back, Kurt stared at (F/N) with a grimace on his face.
“What? I was just trying to help!” She crossed her arms.
“See what I mean?! She opens her mouth and fucks it up!” Krist flung his arms up.
The sleepy gang kept on driving through the night. Eventually, Kurt’s hourly Five-Hour-Energy was having no effect and they had to stop. With a strained effort, they were able to find a shitty motel with a few other cars.
“Let’s see… It says walk-ins welcome… And it looks dingy…Perfect. let’s do it!” Kurt rubbed his eyes as he parked.
Krist hopped out of the car to get a room while everyone else got settled in.
“Wait!” He turned around to see (Y/N) running after him. “I’ll come with you! What if you get mugged?”
The twiggy old owner, Donald, happily gave them a room key. He looked to be in his late sixties, with cowboy boots, a tucked-in plaid shirt, and blue jeans pulled up to just about his armpits by suspenders.
“So glad you kids aren’t trying to make it to the big city at this hour. Driving while so tired is horrible! My brother’s kid got into an accident that way. He’s not dead, just got into an accident.” Donald was happy to talk.
“Yeah, we’re glad we aren’t driving either. We have a show to play tomorrow, so we have to stay alive until then at least.” Krist said.
“Oh, that’s wonderful! You know, my grandson’s playing somewhere tomorrow, too!” Donald said cheerfully.
“Nice! What’s his name? We’ll say hello.” Krist feigned interest.
“His name is Sid! Well, his full is John Ritchie. We just call him Sid!” Donald smiled. “He’s got a really smooth stage persona, you’ll recognize him right away! He goes by Sid Vicious when he’s with his band.” He laughed.
“My grandson’s just the coolest, huh?”
Donald took out his wallet and proudly showed Krist and (Y/N) a little photograph. Donald’s grandson was playing his guitar fiercely on a dimly-lit stage. He looked absolutely demonic. It made (Y/N) wonder how such a scary boy could be related to such a bright and happy old man.
“We’ll be sure to say hello if we see him, Donald. He looks like quite the little punker.” (Y/N) smiled.
“Actually, while you’re here,” Donald scuttled around in his office, looking for something.
“I’m quite glad I ran into you lot! I have something I need to give Sid. I’m just so swamped with the motel lately, that I haven’t had the time to drive up and hand it to him in person. I’m afraid it could get stolen too. Could you please hand this over to him?” Donald held a box towards the pair. Krist and (Y/N) eyed each other.
“It would mean the world to me! I love my Sid. He’ll be playing at the Ghostbar tomorrow, I’m pretty sure. Would you be able to do me this favor?” Donald looked hopeful.
“Wait, Ghostbar? That’s on 31 East Street, right?” Krist asked.
“I believe so!” Donald replied.
“Well, we’d be happy to give your grandson this package. We’re playing at the same show tomorrow.” Krist smiled back. (Y/N) had never seen an old man look so happy.
Krist and (Y/N) returned to their room, absolutely glowing. They had just made someone's night! No, Day! Or even week! Donald had even told them that they could use the pool, which seemed to be usually closed at this time of night.
“Sweet!” Kurt immediately stripped down to his boxers and sprinted out the door. Realizing he didn’t actually know where the pool was, he popped back into the room.
“Come on, let’s all go.” (Y/N) led the way.
The pool was a beautiful, crystal blue. Water evaporated from it quickly in thick waves of steam, adding some sort of magical element to it. Kurt scooped up (F/N), who had been unsuspectingly looking at the starlit sky, and tossed her into the pool. She screamed and he jumped in after. Dave followed, laughing hysterically.
Krist sat down on a lawn chair in the corner, looking at the sky. He looked a little upset. (Y/N) knew what she had to do.
“Hey, is everything okay? I noticed you were a little grumpy in the car today. You’re not your usual self!” (Y/N) sat down next to him.
“Yeah, I’m okay. I guess I'm just… Nervous? Which doesn’t make sense because usually, I don’t get stressed about gigs. But this one… I don’t know. I’m not making sense.” He looked down.
“That’s not true! I understand. Krist, this is a big deal! You guys are finally playing in the city, and your band is a step closer to being recognized professionally. You guys aren’t just a high school band anymore. This transition means a lot to your guys’ music.” (Y/N) put a hand on Krist’s shoulder.
“And we’re all rooting for you. We all want to support you guys.” she looked over at the pool, where Kurt and (F/N) were making out like a fucking meteorite was going to hit the earth and they were all going to die. Dave was in the corner looking very scared. She gagged.
“Some… more than others. But you get my point.” Krist smiled.
“Oh, you’re right. Fuck it.” Krist stood up and stretched. Suddenly, a loud yell erupted from his body and he charged at the pool, doing a massive cannonball into the water. He completely soaked Kurt and (F/N) in the process. Soon the pool devolved into a splash fight that even (Y/N) couldn’t resist hopping in for.
What was ironic, was that one of the best memories was made that night without any weed, coke or alcohol. Who knew?
BONUS SCENE FOR US CLOWNS!
“Remember to shower, guys!” (F/N) said as she pushed open the door to their little motel room. “You know, to wash the chlorine off.”
A bunch of tired and soaked teens stumbled in after her. Krist flopped onto the bed. Next to the window.
“Krist, no! You’re getting the bed wet, get off!” (F/N) gasped.
“S’free cunsh… S’not your bed…” He mumbled sleepily.
(Y/N) looked around and yawned. There was a couch, which Dave was taking up entirely with his body and snoring loudly. There were only two beds, however. She tried to do the math in her head.
“So what could we possibly do here… We could have Krist be in the wet bed, Kurt in the other and (F/N) and I on the floor. Or, we could do Krist on the floor, me in the wet bed, Kurt and (F/N) together in the other one. We could also do me and (F/N) in the normal bed and have Krist and Kurt share the wet bed and be miserable. OR, one of them could sleep on the floor. Then there’s another possibility of (F/N) being in the wet bed, Krist and Kurt in the dry bed and me on the floor. Or also, Krist and I in the wet bed, Kurt and (F/N) in the dry bed, so no one is on the floor.” She muttered.
Kurt came out of the bathroom, looking just as greasy as he did when he walked in.
“Hey greaseball, your on bed duty. You get to decide where you sleep.” (Y/N) pointed at him while grabbing her toothbrush and heading off to the bathroom.
“Floor?” he asked.
“No, absolutely not. You’re either with Krist, who smells like chlorinated wet dog, or (F/N) who doesn’t but you guys probably won’t get much sleep. Pick your poison, I guess.”
“Okay cool, love dogs but I like coochie more.” Kurt rolled onto the dry bed. Krist let out a loud fart in protest.
When (Y/N) emerged from the bathroon (bathroom made to look like a saloon), everyone had settled in and there was peace. She walked over to Krist, who had dried a bit.
“Come on, roll over you big dummy.”
“Y” He said, scooching over a tiny amount.
(Y/N) sighed heavily, laying down next to him.
“You’re lil’ spoon now!” He giggled.
“Yeah, captain obvious. Now be a good big spoon and sleep. You have a show to play tomorrow!” She said, closing her eyes.
Krist snarfed or something??? And they both went into a peaceful slumber.