Work Header

The Prince of Shark Week

Work Text:

The Prince of Shark Week
by duointherain


disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing

Note: Intersex Duo, Preventer’s setting, 1x2x5, mean and discriminatory Une


Heero sighed. “Why did you remove the product from the restroom? No Preventer funds were used in their acquisition.”

Une squinted, eyeing Heero with annoyance. “I’m not okay with any of my agents being ‘transgender’. The civilian world can deal with such people. I don’t want them here.”

No emotion passed over Heero’s face, at least not unless you knew how to read it. If you knew how to read it then you might have taken time to increase your life insurance. “Anti-discrimination applies to this organization as well.”

“‘They’ are welcome to sue, if they have the nerve. Are you going to cry, Yuy? Are you the trannie? What do you care?”

Wufei stepped up next to them, a box of old files held in his arms, a bit of dust across his dark hair. “What’s going on?”

“Commander Une had the box of tampons in the men’s room removed.”

“Oh,” Wufei said, face dropping. “Put them back. I’ll do it.”

“I have another box in my desk.”

“What is it?” Une hissed. “Is Maxwell the trannie among us?”

The office wasn’t that large. There were only about twenty agents and they all worked from the same office. Someday Preventers might be a larger organization. Someday the sun would eat the Earth, but that wasn’t this day.

“Commander,” Heero said softly, at least at first, but his voice rose as he spoke. “I understand that you are familiar with being able to make all the rules, but this organization is governed by the rules of the Earthsphere, including anti-discrimination. Gender identity does not impact a person’s ability to successfully complete missions. Your behavior will be harmful to this team.”

“Do you think a person’s sex is something they can just change like a new spring wardrobe? Don’t be ridiculous. There’s nothing wrong with being a woman. If a person bleeds out of a vagina, they’re a woman.”

“No,” Heero said, “a person’s gender identity is inherent. It’s just not something external to them can determine. Every person on our team is here because they excel. Even you have your skills that the team needs. You need to update your understanding on gender, commander.”

“Or what? Maxwell the Gay Boi is going to throw glitter on me? It is ‘him’ isn’t it?”

An analyst, middle-aged, with caramel skin and close trimmed hair, went pale behind Une and Heero understood why Duo had demanded they put tampons in the bathroom. “Look, your personal opinions on this issue are irrelevant. If you practice discrimination in this agency, we’ll leave.”

“You wouldn’t dare. Where else do you think you’re going to go? You’re seventeen, Yuy. You’re good at exactly one thing and that’s doing what you’re told.”

“Don’t speak to him that way,” Wufei hissed. “We are here to help because we want to be, not because we have to be. You are a skilled leader, but I will not support discriminatory policies.”

“It’s just a fact, men don’t bleed that way. If an agent wants a tampon,” she sneered, “She can go into the women’s room and get one.”

Heero tilted his head. “So you think Duo should use the Women’s room?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she snapped. “I understand he’s gay. He’s not a woman. He doesn’t have a period.”

“Maxwell is one of the strongest men I have ever known,” Wufei said, eyes furiously narrow. “I would never violate his privacy, but I am telling you, as a kindness, you’re going to want to reconsider.”

“Never! Biology is biology.”

Wufei and Heero looked at each other like they were both writing their resignation letters while trying to figure out how to take cover for whatever was coming next.

The double doors that lead out of the large rented office space clanged against the walls. All eyes turned to look at Duo, who stood there with his arms up to catch the rebounding doors. He’d had a growth spurt and was taller than both of his lovers. He typically did undercover work and wore civilian clothes. His jeans were a faded blue denim, with a hole in his left knee (which Heero found oddly sexy). His tee-shirt had been his favorite since the end of the war and it was almost too small, but certainly clung to well-defined pecs, a narrow hard waist. Grinning like some kind of demon, he winced, his belly tightening, and then the red flared just below the end of zipper, spreading rather rapidly.

Une stood there, as Heero and Wufei stepped to the side. The nervous analyst crept closer to see around them.

Duo winked at Heero, gave Wufei a sweet smile, then crossed to them, letting his hips sway in an exaggerated way. Blood trickled down his leg, leaving a red line showing against pale skin, darkening the slight pale tangles of frazzled blue jean.

“Hey Une,” Duo said, hands on his hips, blood now down far enough to be running over the side of his trainer and into the thin rental carpet. “Heero, Wu,” he said with clear affection, “Alexander.”

“You’re bleeding,” Une accused.

“Yeah,” Duo said, making a show of the word. “It’s too bad there weren’t any fucking tampons. I’m gonna guess that’s your fault.”

“Why are you bleeding?”

“I’m having my period. It happens every so often. I’m intersexed. OH? I didn’t tell you,” Duo snarled, leaning close, eyes a dark murder purple, “OH! That’s right. It’s none of your fucking business.”

“Why,” she started, waving her fingers in the general direction of his abdomen, “Don’t you get it removed!”

Duo made a mocking face, nose wrinkling up. “I like my body, but your brain is having some shit troubles. I’m not ashamed of my body. You’re gonna need to get the carpet cleaned, you sexist bitch. ” Duo walked away then, without the exaggerated hip sway, pistol holstered at the small of his back with his badge. “Just fuck you!”

“He had a hard morning,” Heero said.

“You deserved his ire,” Wufei said. “Are you going to stop being discriminatory or are we quitting?”

“Fine! I don’t care! Do your work!” She pulled the confiscated box of tampons from her pocket and threw them at Duo’s head. She missed, but tampons rained down along the path of his red footprints.

Heero bumped his shoulder to Wufei’s and they nearly teleported to Duo’s desk. Their desks were near his and they sat down, happy to be near him, to work. After a minute or so, Wufei gracefully slid a tampon across to Duo’s side of the desk.

Without looking, Duo reached out to rest his hand on Wufei’s hand Heero reached out too and Duo laid a hand on Heero’s. “I do okay?”

“Yes,” Heero said.

“You are a magnificent cardinal of destruction,” Wufei said adoringly.