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Too Lazy to Poison You

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It wasn’t very often that the Commander was spotted within the Black Citadel. And even if it weren’t a strange occurrence to see her there, she stuck out like a sore thumb. With her small size and gentle features it looked as though anyone within the city could snap her like a twig.

today wasn’t like other days she would visit the Citadel. In fact, she wasn’t here to see the Charr at all. No, she was here for a human, ironically enough.

Or was he human? The matter of his being was rather up in the air at the moment, what with him technically being dead. But also, not dead? Gods, the inner workings of the Mists were so confusing. See this is why she didn’t join the Priory.

The small Sylvan commander adjusted the large bag she had on her shoulder so that it was held in place by her pouldrons, huffing at how heavy it was. Why had she packed so much again?

Right, starved human, ghost, vampire, thing...

After the first encounter Bynksi had with the self proclaimed ‘Bloody Prince’, she couldn’t get the ghoul out of her head. How long had the poor soul been trapped within that box? How long had he been forgotten?

Well, it wasn’t for much longer if she had any say in it. She had already spoken with her dear friend Faramir, a member of the Durmond Priory, and had him looking through their records for any evidence of a Prince Thorn. Hopefully they would be able to gather enough to be able to place him correctly within human history.

While the man may have been driven mad by his father, Mad King Thorn, and his seemingly endless isolation, that didn’t mean he deserved to be forgotten.

Bynksi strode through the ancient ruins Prince Edrick was held captive in, never crossing the path of anyone else. After the discovery of what lay within the tunnels the area had been made inaccessible to anyone but those with clearance.

And Bynksi has come to learn early on in her career as Commander that she always had clearance.

Stopping just before she entered the chamber containing the infamous Box, Bynksi peered carefully around the cavern. Nothing seemed out of place...

Holding the strap of her bag with both hands, the small Sylvari tiptoed her way into the chamber. She cringed at every echo her steps made, not much wanting to awaken the ghost Prince before she was ready. The last experience hadn’t been too nice.

Had anyone been watching her they would have seen the comedic faces she made as she came to a stop in front of The Box and slowly lowered herself and her precious cargo to the cold stone floor. Hoisting the strap over her shoulder armour she placed the large canvas bag down, quietly unbuckling the flap and opening the pouch.

A heavenly aroma filled the air as she pulled a whole fresh roast dinner out carefully, placing it dish by dish in front of the chained prison.

Remind her to thank Trahearne for those food preservation charms later...

When the final dish was set, a lovely freshly baked bowl of Yorkshire pudding, Bynksi struggled to her feet with another slew of unattractive expressions.

The small teal Sylvari speed walked backwards, arms swinging to keep her balance. When she believed herself to be far enough away from the danger zone she knelt down and picked up a palm sized stone.

With an exaggerated ‘war cry’, Bynksi chucked the rock full force at the Box containing Edrick Thorn, before dropping to the ground behind some cover.

The reaction was immediate.

With a mighty explosion of necrotic magic the Box burst open violently, shaking the whole chamber.

Bynksi couldn’t stop a stray thought from crossing her mind.

‘I hope he didn’t get any dust in the cranberry sauce’


To say Edrick was frustrated at the sudden disturbance would be a gross understatement.

Hadn’t he just told these people to shove it!? Looks like he’d just have to make perfectly clear.

Eyes burning with barely contained power, Prince Thorn snarled. He whipped his head this way and that, hair swaying with his sharp movements as he searched for the worm who dare disturb him so soon after the last occurrence.

The Prince couldn’t help pausing in mild confusion when his search came up empty handed. Was he mistaken, somehow? Could it have just been a stone knocked loose from the cavern ceiling?

No... couldn’t have been, it hit his dreaded prison with far too much force...


His couldn’t stop his posture from relaxing slowly, arms falling to hang limply at his sides as he gazed back and forth around his chamber. His hands came up to rest on his hips as he twisted to look behind him as well, face falling as he still came up with nothing. He took a deep breath and he turned back around, and felt his jaw drop at the sudden smell he was assaulted with.

By the Gods it... it was... Heavenly!

His mouth began to water as his gaze zeroed in on the source of the aroma, glowing golden eyes widening as they landed on just about the most delectable full spread meal he’d ever seen!

“Wha-... how...?...I-“ forcing himself to stop stuttering and close his jaw, Edrick knelt down to get closer to the offending dishes. Could it be real...? It has just been so long since he’d even seen food other then that disgusting candy corn his father had stuffed him with...

“It’s all freshly made...” a voice whispered almost inaudibly.

His gaze snapped up to meet equally glowing eyes peaking timidly over a large stone, small gloves hands resting on either side.

He sharpened his eyes into a glare and gave a dangerous growl, flashing his now sharp teeth at the hiding figure.

He tiny head sunk lower behind the rock, eyes now barely visible and easily twice as wide.

“... I made it for you...” they said.

Edrick looked to the food and back, face twisting in confusion.

“...Why?” He hissed, putting has much venom as he could in his tongue.

The head lifted from its hiding spot, and Edrick was able to quickly identify it as one of the fools who disturbed him last time. It sounded like a girl, but it was unlike any creature he’d seen before.

Teal skin, glowing light dusted pink in the darkness, and soft pink ‘hair’ on its head. He said hair, but it looked more like some kind of leaves from a plant of some kind. Absolutely bizarre, if one were to ask him.

Gentle lips parted as it blinked it’s large glowing eyes at him doefully, “... you said last time that... that you had nothing but candy corn for hundreds of years. That you died of starvation... so I thought, ‘hey, you’re a pretty alright cook’ and... I made you this...”

The small creature was obviously intimidated, the thing spoke so quietly Edrick had to strain his ears to hear it. His face screwed up and he couldn’t help leaning forward in an attempt to hear it better.

“You are that strange creature from before,” he stated, raising a hand to point at her, “the one who yells meaningless babble constantly...”

The glowing creature rose fully from behind the stone, clearly offended.

“I know, but hey!” It cried, voice suddenly carrying easily now that it’s timidness had vanished.

Edrick felt his lips curl sideways into a sharp smirk. So it didn’t like being called out on it’s strange habits. How amusing.

“Look, are you gonna eat the food I made you, or do I have to leave.” It stated hotly.

The young prince gave her a firm glare before looking back down at the delectable meal spread in front of him. It smelled amazing, but that meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. Last he had seen this slim creature he had attacked it rather viciously, he wouldn’t put it past the odd thing to try and poison him.

“Oh my god, do you actually think I poisoned it?” It asked incredulously, seemingly reading his mind, “look, bud, I am far too lazy to put in that kind of effort after making all the stuff, okay?”

Gods, he hoped it was telling the truth.

Reaching down slowly, taking care never to take his eyes off the being across from him, he grabbed hold of one of the perfectly roasted potatoes and raised it towards his mouth.

The creature seemed to lean forward in anticipation, a smile spreading across its teal coloured face.

Edrick pushed the potato into his mouth with a plop.

It was like a supernova was going off in his head.

“Holy shit” he said frankly, looking away from the other and back to the food.

Abandoning all reason and doubt, he started shovelling as much as he could into his mouth with both hands, trying to eat as much and as fast as he could.


Bynksi couldn’t help but give a delighted laugh as she watch the ghoul literally dig into her home cooked meal, clapping her hands.

Yay! He likes it!

Well, she’s pretty sure he’d like anything she has placed in front of him as long as it wasn’t candy corn.

She stepped out from behind her cover and walked carefully towards him, taking slow measured steps as not to frighten him off. She felt like she was dealing with a frightened animal, but if she made it at all obvious that’s how she was viewing the situation said animal would kick her tiny twig ass.

Edrick gave her a side eye as she approached, never pausing in his assault on his meal, but chose to ignore her for the most part. That did her just fine, she was just happy he was eating. The man was all skin and bones.

When she got within about three feet of him she lowered herself back to the stone floor, sitting delicately in front of him. He didn’t react other than to shift himself from his awkward squat to actually sitting.

She watches quietly as he seemingly inhaled everything she had placed out for him, from the Yorkshire pudding, to the thankfully dustless cranberry sauce. She actually felt rather proud of herself, she had managed to cook enough to feed her entire High Command all on her own! That’s quite the accomplishment if she did say so herself.

Edrick finished the last crumbs of the meal he so viciously devoured, licking the last of the salted butter off his finger tips, before he began to silently stare at the Commander.

Mildly intimidated but refusing to back down, Bynksi stared right on back, eyes widening comically and lips pursing.

She grew increasingly uncomfortable as the silence seemed to drag on, and she swore she would end up having to blurt something out to fill the void of sound, when the prince finally spoke.

“...that was... adequate”

She blinked.


Edrick didn’t answer right away, narrowing his eyes slightly as though trying to solve a conundrum.

“Yes, adequate. You’re meal didn’t taste like sewer rats”

Well alright then. Seems to be as close as she’ll get to a ‘thank you’.

She smiled at him either way.

“I’m glad you liked it!” She said, tilting her head to the side, “I had hoped you would”

The prince fell quiet again, staring at her intensely. Bynksi worked very hard to keep any unease out of her expression.

“What are you meant to be, then?” He asked rather rudely.

Bynksi payed it no mind, as it wasn’t the first time she had been asked that question, and it was surely not the last.

“I am Sylvari. We’re rather new to Tyria, I’m afraid. We’ve only been awake for, oh, twenty six? Twenty seven years?” She said, looking up in thought as she tried to remember the correct number. She was sure that one of her brothers had told her...

“You’re glowing” he stated rudely again.

Wow, it would seem that several hundred years in a box erased whatever social skills the man had.

“Yeah, we tend to do that in the dark”

Silence fell over the two once again as they simply stared at one another, filthy dishes the only thing separating them.

“... are you leaving yet?!” The prince snapped suddenly.

Bynksi took a sharp breath and stood up haphazardly, stumbling slightly at the head rush she received.

“Yup! I’ll be back tomorrow with more food!”

With that she turned on her heal and skipped towards the exit.

“Wait- come back? Hey- no- don’t do that!” Cried the Prince, his painted face twisting in annoyance and confusion.

“Imma do it!”


Bynksi paused for only a moment to turn a look at Prince Edrick one last time, a mischievous grin overtaking her face.

“I’ll try and bring something more to your taste, my Prince. Adequate simply won’t do.”

With that she gave a sharp exaggerated laugh and bounded out of the chamber.

Prince Thorn stared at where she had previously stood in mild shock, unsure what to make of what had just taken place.

He shook his head and grumbled quietly to himself, hoisting himself to his feet.

“What an odd little creature...” he mumbled.

He never truly expected her to return the next day, or the day after that.

He never expected her to keep coming back over and over again, until Prince Thorn was no longer suspicious of her intentions.

They certainly didn’t expect to slowly but surely become friends over countless shared home cooked meals, deep within a dank cavern in the far corner of the Black Citadel.