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Panic before the Calm

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Originally, Bucky had given the test to him as a joke, telling Loki he needed to ‘see if he was moody because he was pregnant’. Being from somewhere other than Midgard, Loki took Buckys ‘advice’ and used the test. What he hadn’t expected was the test to come back positive.

Loki slunk back against the wall of the bathroom, staring down at the pregnancy test in his hands. He bit his lip to hold back sobs, trying his hardest not to get overly emotional. But it wouldn’t last long. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to keep tears back. How had this even happened?

 

It wasn’t like Loki bearing a child was wrong. It was completely plausible, considering the fact he had both ‘parts’. That wasn’t the part that was freaking him out. No, the part that was freaking him out was the fact he was pregnant after only ever being taken by Anthony Stark. The Tony Stark. Genius billionaire playboy philanthropist Tony Stark.

Granted, he had only been taken after they had established a relationship. They had been courting for a while, and they had both found the time right for… you know. That was the night Tony found out about his ‘extra part’. The night that Tony used said ‘extra part’ to the fullest, bringing Loki to orgasm more times than he could remember. That night had been almost five months ago. (But that’s not the point of this story. Maybe you’ll hear that another day. *wink wonk*)

 

Loki's eyes fell to slightly swollen stomach. Five months ago. Five months pregnant. He sighed, the sudden illness he had dealt with in the morning now having valid reasoning. Tony had just blamed it on bad food, even though Loki knew better than that. It just hadn’t crossed his mind that it could be morning sickness. This whole ordeal hadn’t crossed his mind. It hadn’t crossed Tony’s either, leaving Loki to believe that he didn’t want it to be that. That’s when it hit him. Tony would hate him if he knew he was bearing their child. Tony would kick him out of the tower and leave him on the street.

He would have to hide this from Tony. Tony couldn’t ever find out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After an hour of hiding, Loki had finally come out of the bathroom. He kept his eyes glued to the ground, avoiding everyone’s curious gaze as he joined the Avengers in the living room. He sat next to Tony, farther from him than usual. Tony immediately noticed and turned his attention toward the god.

“Lokes, are you okay? You never sit this far away..”

Loki's voice was soft. “I’m fine. Do not worry about me. I’m just not feeling the best at the moment, is all.”

Tony gave him a look. “Loki… what’s wrong?”

“N-nothing. I’m fine..”

Tony furrowed his brows. “You’re lying. And you’re not lying well..”

Loki clenched his fists, then suddenly stood up.

“I need to go..” He barely managed to whisper as he quickly headed out of the room, all eyes watching him closely.

 

“Uh.. Tony? I hate to intrude and tell you what to do but.. I think maybe you should follow him.” Steve turned toward the billionaire, giving him a worried look as a distant door was heard slamming shut. “I.. think he needs you.”

“Y-yeah.. I’ll go do that.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loki had indeed been the one who slammed the door. He quickly locked it, then curled into his bed. It still smelt of Tony, only because he had spent the night with Loki. The god whimpered, pulling one of his blankets to his face. He inhaled the scent, trying to get as much of it as he could. As much as it pained him, the scent of the one he had to hide such a huge secret from calmed him.

He let out a shaky sigh, looking at his stomach. He wouldn’t be able to hide it for long. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if he had properly hidden it. For all he knew, Tony could have made the connection just by looking at him.

Then Loki remembered FRIDAY. The AI was always Tony’s go to when he wanted to find out where someone was or what someone was doing. There was no doubt that the thing had told him what Loki had been doing.

Loki’s eyes filled with tears. Finally, he let out a sob. Tony was sure to have found out by now.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Tony neared the door to Loki’s room, he could hear the sobbing coming from said room. Something was wrong. Really wrong. Loki was never one to be loud when emotional, but something had him so extremely worked up to a point where he could be heard halfway down the hall. Tony inhaled sharply as he arrived at the door and knocked. In return, there was a yelp- as if someone has been startled badly.

“Loki, it’s just me. Please open the door.. I wanna talk.”

“Y-you’re here to kick me out! You don’t want to talk! You k-know and you hate me!”

“What? Lo, What are you talking about? What do I know? What do I hate you for?!”

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know! I’m sure FRIDAY told you!”

“FRIDAY told me what?”

“That there’s a child in me!” Loki shouted. It was immediately followed by more sobbing.

 

The silence consumed the two. Tony stared at the ground. Had he heard that right? Child… in… him? If Loki meant he was pregnant… why hadn’t he told him? Especially if he was the father..

“Loki..?”

The sound of sniffling came from behind the closed door. “W-What..”

“Do you mean that? Are you really pregnant?”

“You think I’d lie about such things… I may be a monster but I would never lie to you.. I assure you, Anthony.. you heard that right.”

“Is it because-“

“Yes. It’s because you used that part of me..”

“And..it’s mine?”

“Anthony, I’ve never done such things with anyone else. Of course it’s yours.. You know I’m not a whore like that… ”

“I know.. sorry. Just felt like something that should be asked..”

“Yes well.. you’ve questioned me. I assume you want to throw me out now..”

 

“....open the door, Loki.”

“I-I… okay…”

 

The door did indeed slowly open via Loki’s magic, allowing Tony to join the emotionally wrecked god in his room. Tony frowned upon seeing him curled in his bed still. His face was red and tear streaked. His face was still half buried in the blanket. Loki refused to look at him, and in all honesty- Tony didn’t blame him.

“Oh hun…” Tony made his way to Loki's side, sitting next to him on the bed. He rubbed Loki’s side, causing the god to make a noise.

“Loki.. why did you think this would be such a big deal? Why do you think I’d kick you out of the tower…?”

Loki sighed. “I’m a monster Anthony.. if anyone finds out you’re having a child with me, you could potentially get hurt..”

“No one in their right mind would try and hurt me because I’ve settled down. And for the thousandth time, being a frost giant doesn’t make you a monster. Odin put some bullshit in your head about that.”

“Doesn’t mean that our child won’t be threatened.. especially being my child. A child of a villain.”

“Loki, no. You’re not a villain. You haven’t been a villain ever. The New York thing wasn’t your fault, and you know that.”

“But midgardians don’t believe that it was mind control! You know that!”

“LOKI.” Tony grabbed Loki by the shoulders and looked him dead in the eyes. “You’re making this worse than it is. Knock it off. Our child will be safe. We’re part of the fucking Avengers for Christ’s sake. Steve and your brother will make sure nothing happens, once we tell them that is. Please.. stop making this seem like it’s bad. It’s not.”

“How can you say that? Aren’t you upset that you’re going to be a parent?”

“Upset? Why on fucking earth would I be upset? This is the best fucking news I’ve heard in my damn life! But that brings me to my next question.. are you afraid or upset about being a parent soon?”

Loki violently shook his head. “No! I’m not upset at all! Afraid yes.. but not upset. I was just.. I was scared you wouldn’t take this well. You.. are a ‘playboy’ or whatever..”

“Babe, I stopped sleeping around when I first laid eyes on you. I’m not a playboy anymore. I’m your boyfriend. No one else in my life matters as much as you. You’re not worth losing just for some meaningless sex.”

“Y-you.. can’t possibly mean that. You can’t love a mon-“ Loki was cut off by a gentle kiss. His eyes widened at the suddenness of it, but he didn’t pull away. This was Tony’s way of shutting him up and proving a point.

“I do mean it, Lolo. Don’t ever think for a goddamn second I don’t love you. And don’t you dare ever think I don’t love the baby growing inside you either. You claim you’re a monster, yet you half the time portray me as one in your head. Tell that brain of yours to knock it off. You’re not a monster. Neither of us are. You’re so very much loved.”

Loki moved close to Tony, resting his head on the billionaires shoulder. “I.. I love you too. I’ve never loved someone as much as you, if I've ever loved anyone at all..”

Tony kissed the top of Loki’s head, pulling him close. “That’s sickenly sweet, babe.”

“I did learn from the best.” Loki laughed softly.

“I know you did. Now.. are you done with the whole ‘Tony won’t accept the baby because my brain is giving invalid reasons’ thing?”

Loki nodded. “I am. I apologize. Should have just told you..”

“Yeah, you should’ve. But it’s okay. I was never upset, just worried about you.” Tony kissed the top of the gods head again. “Next time, try not to go crazy on me, okay? Just tell me. Makes it much easier for me to be excited about stuff.”

Loki made a soft noise. “Okay.. I’m truly sorry..”

“Shush, Lo. There’s no need to apologize so much. I’m not upset, and you don’t need to apologize. You had a technically valid reason to break down like that. Guess that’s what happens when you have a life like yours.”

“Whatever… pretend this never happened. Please.” Loki looked up and gave Tony puppy eyes

“Yeah, okay. We’ll pretend you never had a freak out. But we aren’t pretend that there isn’t a baby in you.” Tony grinned, peppering little kisses all over Loki’s face. Loki pushed at him, chuckling.

“You dare treat your pregnant god boyfriend like this?!” He furrowed his brows, trying his best to be mock angry.

“Of course I’m gonna treat you like this. It’s because I love you.” Tony smiled and kissed the god deeply.

“Yes well… I love you too. More than you’ll ever know, to be in fact.”