Thor is all by himself in one of the many common rooms of Stark Tower. There's nothing particularly interesting about this one specifically, it just so happens to be the last place the god had wandered in his daily explorations.
He likes these little moments he has to himself, where he can take in the ins and outs of Midgard without his friends' good-natured scrutiny. The living room is quiet and the windows that give way to the city have a decorative rail for odd things.
Thor looks out of the window at the clear blue skies. When his gaze wanders down to the rail and its oddities he encounters a potted plant, dead from lack of care. He brushes his fingers on top of the crusty leaves. He bends down slightly for better access to the little thing and give it an assessing look. He takes in air and let's go a breath on top of the plant.
The brown leaves shudder and from within them, the color green spreads outward to the very tips of the plant. It fattens a healthy amount and rights itself up like a happy, well watered and sunbathed plant would after a good few weeks of care.
Thor smirks to himself at the results but snaps upright at an intake of air.
"You did not, just do that."
Clint Barton is standing at the entrance of the room, mouth all but hanging open at what he's just witnessed.
A light blush colors the god's cheeks, but he smiles. "Just one of my given attributes." He explains, but the shock on the archer' face does not leave him.
"Oh my god, Tony and Bruce are gonna lose it." He whispers quickly.
Thor should probably feel a little more apprehension than he does at his friends' wide-eyed expression.
"So explain this to me again, like I'm stupid, okay?" Tony asks as he plays around with a baseball. "You're actually, not kidding, when you say you're the god of fertility?"
Thor laughs heartily at that. The Avengers are gathered around the top floor's living room with the little plant Thor had revived on the coffee table as Tony plays a holographic video of Thor breathing literal life into it.
"I'm calling it, this is a hoax." He still says unhappily.
"Think what you want." Bruce says, eyeing the plant from every angle and examining the lush green leaves with wonder. "This is incredible, and if you're not seeing the possibilities it's because your scientific pride got hurt."
"Oh, burn!" Clint snaps with a hard laugh as Tony scoffs in indignation.
"I'm not buying it-" he says, but is promptly interrupted.
"Admit it Stark, it's magic." Natasha pushes at his buttons with a smirk. "Not everything can be explained." She all but sing songs.
"I call bull!" He shouts and joins Bruce by the plant.
"I will unbull that then." Clint jumps up from the couch and heads out of the room.
"Fertility then?" The doctor turns to Thor, who leans back comfortably on one of the couches.
"In so little words, yes," he concedes. "In my youth I used to help farmer's crops when I journeyed to Earth. The soils at home weren't as prone to give poor harvest as the ones here. That's how I got a better understanding of my power's reaches."
"Got it!" Clint shouts as he hops into the room again, a dead plant in his hands. "Thor." He bows as he offers the ceramic pot.
The God laughs as the archer looks Tony dead in the eye and smirks.
"I call bull on your bull." He looks at Thor and gives another exaggerated bow "Your Majesty, please grace us with the wonders of your innate magical abilities." He stresses.
"It's a trick people, open your eyes!" Tony proclaims out loud but can't help the smile that wants to escape him.
"Well, seeing as you're all so eager." The blond stands up and looks at the burnt out greenery. He takes in a breath and blows gently over the leaves- and it happens. A beautiful transformation of dead browns and dull greys turn to a healthy green, the color popping so much it's one step from unnatural looking.
"Wow…" Tony and Bruce both breathe out with a sense of wonder.
The S.H.I.E.L.D. agents look just as star struck; it's truly a beautiful happening.
"Okay, I admit it, it's pretty magical." Tony says.
"It's amazing Thor," Natasha tells him, her eyes just a little brighter than before.
"It is nothing my friends, truly." He brushes off their reactions almost a little shyly. "In all honesty, it's not something I take too much pride in. After all, it is no skill of worth for a warrior."
"Now that really I bullshit." Clint calls him out on it and Thor laughs.
"I know better now, do not worry my friend," the god concedes.
"Hey Thor," Bruce calls as he scrolls on his StarkPad. "I was reading more on your powers according to mythology. How much of an embellishment is the bit where your fertility powers extend to the physiology of people.
Every Avenger shuts up and looks at Thor as he smirks.
"There is no embellishment Dr. Banner." There are several astonished sounds across the living room as he continues. "Fertility is fertility, however you might look at it."
"Wait, wait, wait, wait." Tony crosses the space between them and takes the blonds shoulders. "How does that even work? Can you make people more virile?"
"Ladies and gentlemen, might I present to you Tony Stark, who has his head in fact, always in the gutter." Natasha says jokingly and they all laugh.
"Well, I am no God of love or passion, so I do not think it would quite work if I attempted to." He grins wildly. "Why? Do you desire children Anthony? Because that could be arranged."
"So in theory," Clint reasons "if you wanted to you could make Tony so fertile any woman he slept with would end up pregnant?"
"Oh, it is no theory I can assure you of that." Thor says raising his chin slightly, sure of his abilities.
"Please don't," the mechanic says rapidly. "Pepper would kill me."
They laugh again and sit comfortably in the couches as they discus their brand new topic.
"But really Thor, what can you do with it? What are the limits? Are there even any?" Bruce leans forward, curiosity bursting from his inquisitive eyes.
"And why didn't you ever told us about it?" Adds Clint.
"For the same reasons that I don't often display these sort of things I suppose," the god says as he brushes the plant he most recently revived. "Doesn't really help while in battle now, does it?"
"So?" Bruce insists and the rest of them quiet to listen.
Thor leans back on the couch and sighs as he thinks.
"Well, I bless newly wed couples back in Asgard when they're eager to conceive and it works wonders for them. Sometimes women who have lost their fertility with time- though it happens rarely. But the Aesir have such control of their biology that it's hardly necessary. As I said, the extent of my abilities was not truly discovered until I landed on Midgard and helped occasionally. With their pregnancies so children would grow strong and survive harsh weathers. And the land so it would be plenty fruitful."
"Wow, all those dark age women getting it on with the God of Thunder, that must've been a treat. To be blessed by the gods, bet they lived very unhappy lives after you left, all that frustration must've driven them mad!" Tony jokes in a mock-serious voice.
"Oh, do not be jealous my friend. You can have children of your own if you so desire it," Thor says just as jokingly.
"Um, what do you mean?" The mechanic asks, the grin leaving his face as he looks at the god weirdly.
"Now, how do I explain this?" Thor rubs his hands, looking up briefly as he thinks. "There are sometimes men on Asgard who wish they were given the gift of life at their birth, and sometimes women who wish it hadn't been given to them. While I could help with these women's problems, it is as easily fixable to pay an enchantress to cast a spell for that. It is much harder to conceive a child if one was born a man. That I can help with." He finishes with a big grin, slapping his hands on his legs as they all stare at him wide eyed.
"That is so freaky man, what the hell?" Tony says still trying to process.
"As I said my friend, no need to be jealous of the fairer sex." The god rounds back again to the topic. "You only need to ask it of me." He extends his open palm to Tony's belly.
"What are you doing?" The mechanic jumps off the couch and backs away, eyeing the hand like it has rabies.
"Well, it seems quite obvious to me that you resent the fact that you cannot have children of your own," he walks closer to Tony as he backs away. "Of course the noble thing to do here would be to offer what help I may, as a good friend would."
"No. Back off!" Tony jumps away as the blond mock launches at him.
The Avenger laugh as the two run around the living room, the raven-haired placing all manner of objects between them to avoid the extended arm and attached hand.
"It's not too painful, I swear on my honor." Thor grins widely and the other skitters away, passing over the couch and throwing a pillow at the blond.
They're all having the laugh of their lives, holding their stomachs' at the sheer absurdity of the situation and Tony's absolute mortification.
They are so engrossed in the situation that not one person notices the blank look on Natasha's face.
All she can think about is waking up on the cold of the slab, and the pain that spreads all the way from her lower abdomen to her stomach and tights.
"I swear to God if you don't back off, I'm going to find away to blast you into the next life!" Tony shouts.
The redhead snaps out of it and assesses her situation. She plasters a porcelain smile on her face so perfect not even Clint would be able to tell it's the grandest bullshit she's pulled in months now.
There, in her lower abdomen, throbs the phantom pain of surgical procedures unwanted. And Natasha ponders…