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These Words We Fight With Our Broken Pieces

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You can't always choose your relatives. Roman understood this, very well. But, you can choose who to call family. And sometimes, that's a beautiful boy with bright blue eyes and the softest golden hair, and a stinky ugly brother that supports you no matter what. (Even if that support is more like the "do a flip" kind of support, and often leads to someone breaking an arm or losing teeth.)
The point is, Roman knows what it's like to have shitty parents and extended family - case and point, every morning his mom still greeted him as 'Anna,' or 'Annabelle.' And his wardrobe was full of just skirts and dresses (which all totally slay, don't get him wrong, but would it be too much to ask for some trousers every now and then? Can't exactly go adventuring when you constantly have to worry about your 60$ chiffon getting caught on passing bushes and tree branches.)
Remus was the only one who ever called him Roman, and told everyone that Roman was his "really dumb and boring twin brother." Though he suspected that this might be more to piss off their parents than for Roman's sake.
So, starting Wednesday, Roman would be going to therapy. "Sweetie, we just want our little girl back, Mr. Sleep is a very good therapist - he'll help you work through your issues and you can stop acting out like this."
(What kind of last name is Sleep? Did the guy just change his last name for shits and giggles? Not gonna lie that's kinda badass-)

Whatever. No one could break him- Roman would just have to piss the guy off so much that he'd never want to have another session with him! That, it wait until his parents gave up and decided it wasn't worth the money.

"Remus, you know those shoes that you made in 9th grade - The ones that make the really annoying and gross squishy sounds and lit up like a disco ball - do you still have them somewhere?"
"Ah, the mayo skechers, a classic! Of course I still have em' couldn't let those babies go to waste! What do ya need em for?"
"....There's not actually mayo in the part where your feet go, right?"
"I think you know the answer to that question, brother Cain."
"Nevermind! Forget I even said anything!"

Well, he didn't need super gross shoes to be annoying - he could just choose to only speak backwards, or in parseltongue- plenty of ways to fight this fight, armed with nothing but his wits and his word! Like a true dashing hero, talking down the beast from wreaking havoc!

Maybe Patton had some ideas? Surely he'd met some fairly unsavory people, working in his family's sandwich shop for years. (They really knew how to make an amazing Italian style sub, bless their souls.) He'd talk to Patton about it tomorrow at school - there was still time before the first appointment!

He could do this - Roman Garcia could do anything he set his mind to, because he was a knight in shining armor!