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Rabbit Heart

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Perhaps, for the first time in his existence, Jungkook would actually like to know how it felt to sweat. To feel the tension leaving his body through his pores. 


The thing was – he had no open pores to let substances come out through them. 


According to Namjoon, he had no reason to be nervous at all – it was just feeding, something he has done since the day he was born, his mother had birthed him breastfed him, then, when he turned five, he had a fever and two days later his canines were a little bit sharper than they usually were, his nose more sensitive and the thought of eating rice and ramen made his stomach twist unpleasantly. His father wasn’t happy about it and his younger self didn’t exactly understand why – he would live longer than humans, be faster, stronger, his mind would be able to expand and comprehend so much more than humans would. He didn’t see disadvantages at the reveal of his true self. 


As he grew older, though, he understood why his father didn’t wish him to share that characteristic. First, the prejudice was as hard as feeding itself. For a long time, Jungkook had problems in making friends, his long nose and big teeth didn’t exactly attract people and screamed I’m a nice, soft guy!. Children were often scared he’d be thirsty and wouldn’t be able to control himself, or, in other occasions, they’d be asking Jungkook to show his teeth all the time. He wasn’t allowed to join the tracking team because, well, he was too fast and it wasn’t fair. Most of things did get better as he grew older and his face became sharper, his eyes rounder, lips a little bit fuller, skin like porcelain. That kind of beauty drawn people in. It also helped that he met another vampire during his high school days – they became close in no time, and, until that day, Namjoon was his best and closest friend. 


One thing did not get better, though: his relationship with feeding. 


Since he was a child, Jungkook had a pretty sensitive nose – he never enjoyed strong smells, citric and spicy smells made his nose itch. When he presented himself as a vampire, it got worse because it also affected how blood tasted on his tongue. And, well, he couldn’t be picky – he had to drink to survive. Blood bags were always a good option, he drank enough to feed only once a week – Wednesdays were hell, nothing would make the bad taste go away whenever he got a disgusting bag. But then feeding centers opened and it felt like everything was going to be better – Namjoon had a fixed human to help him, they got along well and Jungkook was certain his friend was in love with the human, given his best friend’s heart eyes when he mentioned he was going to feed – eyes that turned dark whenever Jungkook asked if this Seokjin guy smelled good. He stopped asking when Namjoon growled at him once. 


Jungkook started to book humans to help him with feeding and it had its ups and downs. He had good days when he had appointments with Jisoo. She smelled like flowers and grass, it wasn’t as heavy as Jungkook would like, but it wasn’t awful either. Her blood wasn’t the thickest, either – it was airy and light, just like her smell, and she would remain quiet, breathing slow and even as he drank. Those days were pleasant. In those days, he felt satisfied. But, they moved her to another facility, leaving Jungkook with strangers with all sort of smells. Once he had an appointment with a tall, broad guy – taller than him – and he almost fainted when he entered the room – the sterile, heavy smell almost knocked him out, he couldn’t stand be in the same room as the guy, let alone drink. He spent the week on tasteless pig blood. 


“You know, all you have to do is call and ask for blood samples”, Namjoon told him once. They had just left their morning lectures, Namjoon wanted to grab coffee on a small, cozy shop in campus. It’s not that they can’t drink or eat human food, it’s just that, on the first years after presenting, it just isn’t as appealing as blood. So, sometimes, they’d drink coffee – they tasted the heaviest in their mouths, so both of them enjoyed it. Yoongi, on the other hand, couldn’t even stand the smell of it. He preferred lighter scents and tastes. Go figure. 


Jungkook frowned as he looked both ways before wrapping his hand around Namjoon’s elbow and pulling him closer as they crossed the street. “Is this what you did to the Seokjin guy?”, he asked. 


“Uh”, the elder hesitated, not looking at Jungkook. “Kind of? I did ask for blood samples, but just because Haseul offered them. I drank from other people before picking Seokjin as my favorite, though”, Namjoon smiled as they entered the shop, choosing a table near the cashier. 


Jungkook was eyeing the menu as he mumbled, “feels too judgmental, too pick someone over their scent.” 


The statement actually made Namjoon scoff and roll his eyes, just to throw the younger vampire an accusatory glance right after, “that’s what you do all the time. Seokjin told me the poor guy quit his job at the feeding center after you reaction to his smell. I feel bad for him.”


“But he reeked! ”, Jungkook whined, crossing his arms over his chest. 


Namjoon raised his eyebrows, “to you”, he pointed and then sighed. After their had their beverages in from of them and silence was too uncomfortable, Namjoon sighed again and offered the blood samples thing one more time. 


Jungkook politely declined, “it’s not fair, I’ll call the facility and ask for another appointment. What’s the fun in already knowing what I’m going to get? None.” Namjoon didn’t reply to that, just rolled his eyes and pretend to burn his tongue with his coffee, making Jungkook laugh, pointy teeth on display. 


But as he made his way to the Feeding Center, he couldn’t stop thinking that perhaps Namjoon was right. He should have asked for blood samples, to taste them before setting an appointment. It wouldn’t hurt, would it? But, of course, blood in bags and cups taste completely different then when they come straight out of someone’s veins, with their warmth and smooth skin under Jungkook’s lips; with their scents mixing and becoming too much, making the vampire inside him scream in joy during the feeding. Jungkook knew that his pleasure was also the human’s pleasure, as he could release more and more substances that made the human happy, willing to give as much blood as they could. It made their blood sing, and Jungkook had yet to experience that. 


He just wished he could sweat his nervousness away. 


“Welcome!”, Haseul’s voice greeted him as he made his way inside,  a soft and professional smile on her lips. “How can I help you this evening? Regular feeding?”


Jungkook smiled at her, shy, and nodded. He put his hands in the pockets of his yellow hoodie, waiting as she worked on her computer. The place was empty – he preferred to come late at night, after everyone was asleep. Call it cliché, but nighttime had always been his favorite time, even before his fangs came out. Strangely, he had always found this time of the night peaceful, the quiet and darkness making wonders on his too loud and bright mind. It was, indeed, a nice and necessary contrast. After a few minutes, Haesul had all the paperwork ready for Jungkook to sign up. 


“I personally made sure the blood fit the description you gave me the other day”, she said as Jungkook read the file again, just to make sure everything was correct. “I’d like to apologize in behalf of our institution for not providing a quality service – it was our mistake and we hope to live up to your expectations.” 


Jungkook frowned, troubled. Namjoon was right, the guy smelled bad to him, it didn’t mean he had a bad blood or anything similar to that. Perhaps he should give the man a call and apologize, but not at that moment. “There’s no need, I’m the one who should be apologizing, not you or your facility”, the vampire wanted to make sure that they shouldn’t be worried about his tastes. He wasn’t even paying for that. “I do give you some headaches, don’t I?”


It was an awful joke but it seemed to do the work, as the receptionist giggled softly. “You do”, she nodded, and the sighed, collecting the papers, “but now as much as Yuta, though. You’re fine.”


“Oh, I’ve heard of him”, Jungkook added and then Haseul was smiling at him again, that professional smile, and telling him his appointment would be joining him in room 7 in a few minutes. 


And, again, Jungkook wished he could do something to release his nervousness.


The feeling didn’t go away or diminish as he entered the white, well known room, and sat on the white, comfy, arm chair and waited. He really wished he could file another small complain about the smell these rooms had, the products they used – it was too acid, to abrasive and it burned his nose and tongue. But he never did it because he knew they had to be this way – to remain clean, without the trace of other people’s smells and blood. In Jungkook’s opinion, it reminded him more of a hospital than of somewhere he would go to feed.  


Nothing would have Jungkook prepared for the feeling that hit him when the door swung open. The only thing he could think of was that he was glad he wasn’t able to sweat. At all. And that his face could stay straight even though he was feeling all sort of things inside. 


Jungkook, a young guy, and, above that, a young vampire as he was, had already had his fair share of scents and flavors numbing his senses. He thought he had smelled everything the world had to offer – from the sweetest to the sourest scents, he had smelled and tasted them all, and he never, not even once, he had found one that appealed to him. Some would make him happy, make him excited to spend five to ten minutes with his lips glued to someone’s wrist, tongue lapping at the wound, lips sucking as much blood as he could, teeth sainted  and mouth full of red, warm flavor. But that it was all it was – excitement for the feeding, to have something so good filling his mouth. 


How wrong he had been. 


He couldn’t even see the man walking towards him, his mind was so full of the smell, the saliva and venom filling his mouth, all of his senses numb, his heartbeat so fast he believed anyone inside the facility could hear it.  The scent could not be compared to anything else he had ever smelled before – it was heavy, a tangible and unstoppable presence in the room. He smelled like sun peeking out after a rainy afternoon, like the oldest whisky and the most sinful words he was yet to hear in his life. All mixed up together, laced with so much delicacy that made Jungkook’s head spin around. Lucky him, he was sitting down, but his hands had a firm grip on the soft fabric of the chair, his nails digging small crescent moons on the surface. The human seemed to noticed that. 


“Are you alright?”, he asked, concerned and giving a step back. 


It hurt Jungkook more than he believed a simple action would. He wasn’t dangerous. He could never harm someone who carried such a magnificent smell. 


“Yes”, he managed to whisper as he raised his head to look at the man just to be punched in the gut again. 


Not alone this man had the most delicious scent Jungkook had ever smelled in his entire life, he was also stupidly attractive. As tall as Jungkook himself, the human had strong features, full lips, strong nose, a mole on the tip, eyebrows strong and full for days, face framed by dark silver hair, falling over his eyes a little bit. His eyebrows were pinched together in worry, hands clenched into fists beside him, eyes dark and narrowed, but his lips were turned into a grimace – an attempt to look polite, Jungkook imagined. He was doing a miserable job at it. “I’m alright, sorry, it just has been a while”, he tried to sound put together, but his strained voice wasn’t much of a help. 


“Pig blood?”, the man asked, still studying Jungkook’s face. He tried to relax as much as he could, holding his breath for a few seconds before speaking. 


Jungkook nodded, “not as tasty as human blood”, and perhaps that wasn’t the smartest thing to say because the man frowned and took another step back. “You just-“


The human had his eyes on him, waiting for Jungkook to finish. But he couldn’t. If he opened his mouth, he would for sure say something embarrassing. 


“I just?”, the boy pushed and that was when Jungkook blurted out, in all his shame: 


“You smell good”, and, fortunately, he wasn’t able to blush. 


Jungkook should be ready for surprises, after all, that is what life is about. However, when the human broke in to a boxy grin, eyes disappearing into his pleasure to be said he smelled good, Jungkook couldn’t help but be surprised. He had never said such thing to anyone else in fears they might think it was a weird thing to say. It didn’t seem strange to this man, though, as he kept smiling as he worked on his own paperwork before asking Jungkook to stand up so he could sit on the armchair before they proceed to the feeding. The vampire didn’t know how eager he was to taste the human’s blood until he was reciting all the terms they were supposed to hear and agree with before start their session. It was all too much – the smell was still in Jungkook’s nostrils, warm and heavy, and then there was also the man’s good looks, the way his smile wouldn’t filter after Jungkook’s shy and unappropriated confession. There was the man’s hair falling over his eyes every time he looked at Jungkook or at some paper lying on the table. 


Jungkook was brought back to reality when the human passed him more papers for him to sign and started to recite his terms. “You must keep your hands behind you back. You can drink straight for up until three minutes, no more. After this, you must stop. If you need to drink more, there must be an hour break between the bites. If I tell you to stop you must stop, you cannot touch me unless I say so or in cases of emergency, otherwise, security will be called and the police, and a notification against you will be sent to  the Vampire Department. Not following the rules may have as consequences a fine, suspension, jail or a ban from the city’s Feeding Center. Do you understand and agree all the terms I have listed for you?”


“Yes, I do.”


“Great!”, the human smiled at him before making himself more comfortable on the armchair. “Where would you like to bite? You’re my first appointment for the night, both wrists, forearm and collarbones are available for you”, he listed and Jungkook only paid half mind to what he said, eyes suddenly focused on the boy’s neck. 


But that was out of question. The neck was a sensitive area, one could naively give it to someone they didn’t have full and unbreakable trust. That was exactly why the human hadn’t offered the neck. 


“Wrists are okay”, Jungkook sighed, feeling a little less excited. Wrists were still fine, he tried to convince himself, and it was rather easy when he got a glimpse of the man’s long, big and pretty hands, a silver band decorating his right slim, bony wrist. Beautiful, Jungkook thought and bit his tongue to hold it in. 


The human huffed a laugh as he rolled up his sleeve and offered his wrist to Jungkook. The scent was too strong now, his vision blurring at the edges, control slipping through his fingers. “You sound disappointed”, the human addressed, and the vampire hummed in agreement. 


“You smell good”, he repeated, “I bet you taste good as well. Drinking from the wrist is not…” he was saying nonsense, he knew so, but he was also drunk on the human’s scent and presence and entire.. self. He couldn’t stop now. 


“As exciting?”, the human offered. 


“Yeah, I guess you can put it that way.” It was honestly more than that, but Jungkook didn’t feel like going into the technical terms of being a vampire right now. Maybe some other time. 


The human sighed and pressed his wrist against Jungkook’s lips, making the vampire gasp and close his eyes, drinking in the scent, losing himself in how soft the man’s skin was against his dry lips. “I’m sorry about that”, he said, and Jungkook stuck his tongue out, licking at the skin once, tasting it heavy in this tongue. He had to swallow a moan that tried to escape his lips. “Maybe some other time, you can try somewhere else. Now”, he pushed again, against Jungkook’s flat tongue, “drink up.” 


The vampire didn’t have to be told twice. 


As much eager as he was, he tried to be gentle. He licked the same spot a few times, sucking the skin, keeping it between his lips and teeth without actually biting. He wasn’t allowed to touch the human, but he wanted to. He suck the same spot again before pulling away for a second, “I’m going to bite you now, alright?”, he asked and the human nodded, looking a little breathless and as affected as Jungkook was. Slowly, he let his teeth break the skin, blood quickly filling his mouth – too fast, faster than he wanted to, so he had to quickly glue his lips to the man’s skin. Jungkook drank as if his life depended on it, as if he it was his last feeding. It felt infinite, his whole body hot and shivering, mouth filled with such exquisite flavor, he had to keep remembering they weren’t alone, that moaning and touching this human was wrong, that wanting to bite his neck and thighs was inappropriate. That asking this man to never feed anyone else was not something he could possibly ask. Not of him or anyone else for that matter. And then suddenly, the human’s had was in his hair, softly pushing him away. 


“Your time is over, Jungkook.”


The vampire nodded into the skin, removing his teeth from the skin but keeping his lips glued to the wound, just to suck a little bit more of remaining blood to then run his tongue through it one last time to help in the healing process. When he was done, he sighed, satisfied and drunk. He couldn’t feel his legs or open his eyes. 


“Do I taste as good as I smell?”, the human asked, his voice low and grave. It made Jungkook shiver. 


“Better”, was all he could muster. And it was enough to send the human giggling again, as he stood up and prepare more paperwork. 


“Would you like to schedule your next feeding?”, he asked after a while, Jungkook still drunk and mind airy. 


Jungkook only nodded, not being able to say much. “Would you like to try a new feeder?”


The answer was immediate: “No!” and then Jungkook was shy again for his outburst. He cleared his throat and his mouth with the back of his hand. There was a thin line of blood right between his pinky and ring finger, he fought really hard to not lick it. “No, I would like to set another appointment with you. If that’s alright.” 


The human smiled that boxy smile at him again as he nodded and wrote something on his files, “no problem! All done. All you have to do now is leave this at Haesul’s on your way out.” 


“Thank you”, Jungkook said shyly, holding the paper with both hands. 


The human made his way to the door after organizing everything, leaving Jungkook sitting alone and drunk inside the room. At the door he stopped and turned around, still smiling, “see you next week, Jungkook.”


“Surely”, Jungkook replied, smiling as big as the boy in front of him. 


At home, Jungkook realized two things as he made his way to the shower, his pants to tight, the sight of the human and the taste of his blood lingering on his mind, still fresh in his tongue. First, he had found it. The smell, the taste. He had found it. He still didn’t know if the human’s blood would sing to him, but everything seemed like it. It was the best feeling he had ever felt – the sight of him, the smell and the taste, decorated with the soft, lightly tanned skin. It was everything wrapped into one package, made specially for Jungkook and it made him so excited and yet, so insecure. He didn’t know what any of that meant, he couldn’t think past wanting to feel the skin against his lips again, to have his blood filling his mouth.

The second thing he realized while he was already in the shower, touching himself, fueled by the recent memories he had just made. He thought about having the human riding him, their skins touching – the beautiful contrast of pale and tanned – his scent stronger because of his sweat, filling in every single corner of Jungkook’s small bedroom. He thought about fucking into the human with his lips glued to the man’s neck, his teeth scratching the pulse point but never really breaking the flesh. When Jungkook came, he realized, he didn’t know the boy’s name. He had no name to call, so he just moaned loudly, to himself, and stayed there, with his mouth open under the shower, pretending it was the human’s blood filling his mouth.