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“You saw Professor Lightwood in Professor Bane’s office?”

Simon shrugs and reaches for the scallion cream cheese. Saturday brunch in the dorm is practically tradition. “Yeah, so?”

“So,” Clary gestures with her bagel, nearly knocking Simon’s glasses off. “They hate each other. Everyone knows that. Right Jace?”

Jace looks between his boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend in utter panic. Swiping Clary’s bagel, he scoops up a disgustingly large mound of cream cheese and stuffs the whole thing in his face. His answer is too unintelligible for either of them to make out.

Clary wrinkles her nose. “They hate each other,” she repeats, like she’s imparting the secrets of the universe. “Ever since Bane took what was supposed to be Lightwood’s office when they renovated the Physics wing.”

“That was six years ago.” Simon shakes his head. Old people were so weird. “How do you even know that?”

Clary beams and leans over to kiss Maia on the nose.

“I’m friend’s with Bane’s TA,” Maia says, more than a little smug.



“Don’t forget tomorrow’s lecture is cancelled,” Professor Lightwood reminds them at the end of class. “My husband and I are celebrating our anniversary.”

Simon smiles as he packs his laptop away. For such a hard-ass professor, Lightwood never shut up about his husband, always managing to weave in an anecdote about his mystery man no matter how heavy the course material got. It’s part of what made him such a good lecturer.

Turning towards the library, Simon sends a quick text to Jace. By a happy coincidence, Professor Bane’s class is also cancelled and they have the whole day to themselves.



Mini golf is a perfect idea, even if Jace keeps hitting the balls into the water. Simon's on his way to the front desk to fetch more when he nearly walks right past them.

Professor Lightwood. Kissing a man who is definitely not his husband.

“No.” The words are out of Simon's mouth before he can think. “What about your husband?”

And maybe it was stupid to think that if Professor Lightwood could be so in love then perhaps Simon had a chance, too. Except it’s all a lie.

Lightwood’s face darkens even as Professor Bane bursts into laughter, and oh god, Simon is going to flunk both his physics classes and his mother will be so disappointed. “This isn’t funny.”

“Oh, but it is.” Bane’s entire body shakes, forehead dropping onto Lightwood’s shoulder.

“Simon, listen. No one’s cheating.” Lightwood’s voice is the same soothing tone he uses on panicked freshman.

“It’s your anniversary,” Simon whispers. “How could you?”

“Yes. Our anniversary.” Lightwood rolls his eyes before answering Simon’s unasked question. “We both publish too much to change our names.”

"Oh," Simon gapes like a fish. "Oh!"

Bane picks his head up to peck his husband on the lips. “I told you starting that rumor would be hilarious.”

They laugh and this time Simon joins in. Love is real, and he’s now in possession of the juiciest gossip on campus.