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Welcome to Be More Chill: A Group Chat Fic No One Asked For

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October 12th (6:28 PM)
Jenna: If he’s dead, how did he upload the video

Jake: Illuminati confirmed

Rich: Pick 1-9

Christine: 7

Rich: I fuckin knew it got damnit

Brooke: I was gonna say 7

Jeremy: Is 7 you guys’ favorite number?

Michael: It’s y fa single digit

Jeremy: Stroke?

Michael: Also yt is covering some of y keyboard
I literally cannot oe it

Jake: Stroke.

Michael: I’m free from my curse
7 is my favorite single digit number

Brooke: 5 is mine haha. And then my double digit is 12

Michael: Idk if I was a double digit fav, but I’m between two with triple digit

Rich: 666

Michael: I forgot about that one.

Chloe: Hahaha

Jake: Now ur between 3

(8:39 PM)
Brooke: Okay, but Niall Horans new song

Michael: My mind blanked and I almost asked Who?

Chloe: I would have punched you
Cuz I knew u we’re going to

Michael: I exist through the decades
This is not one I’m familiar with

Chloe: Yeah
I kinda thought so

Jenna: He was the blonde one in One Direction
Naturally a brunette but dyed his hair blonde

Jeremy: I am quite aware, my brother was a fan

Jake: Broooooooo 1D was my shittttttttttttttttt

Rich: Oh yeah!
I bought you like a bobble head for Christmas!

Jake: I actually think u did
It might have been Niall too

Brooke: I remember I have 3 of them. Harry, Niall, and Liam

Jake: Or it was Harry

Rich: Probably

*2 pictures sent by Chloe*

Chloe: Idk but that’s Niall. Then and Now

Michael: What the fuck
He’s fucking scary now

Brooke: No he’s not!

Chloe: He’s sexy *5 winky face emojis*
I think everyone is sexy
Don’t take my opinion too seriously
Even tho most r sexy

Jenna: That is true

*Picture of a random meme sent by Rich*

Jeremy: My dad just said to me: Jeremy, watch this, I’m going to try it again
And then I looked up
And he just tossed a balled up paper towel up in the air
And caught it
Saying whoops
Before actually doing the thing he meant to
Which was tossing behind him into the trash

Jake: Did he make it in the trash

Jeremy: Nope

Rich: Aw man

Jeremy: He almost did earlier
But the trash was full and it just so happened that there were 2 plates at a slope that it just rolled off of

Michael: Aw man! Hahah that’s really sucks

*Jenna took a screenshot of chat*

(9:29 PM)
*Jenna sent a photo of a youtuber named Jeremy*

Brooke: My daddyyyyy I love himmmmm *4 crying emojis*

Jake: What did you screenshot tho

Jenna: Don’t worry about it
Look at daddy

Jeremy: I feel violated
And I don’t know why

Brooke: I wish I was being violated
By him and his body
Cuz got damn
I’ll take him anyway
I meant anyway, but I’ll take him in any way too
I’m disgusted with myself

Michael: Jesus Christ my tumblr feed is more pg than you

Brooke: You know you love me b *weird heart kissy emoji*

*Brooke took a screenshot*

*Brooke sends a picture of the chat with instagram notification*

Brooke: Speak of the daddy

(10:16 PM)
Michael: I’ve been trying hard all week to write my paper but I keep watching YouTube

Jeremy: Don’t make me disconnect your WiFi

Michael: Do it
You won’t

Jeremy: I will
Give me one of your moms phone y

Michael: Neither of my moms know how to disconnect the WiFi

Rich: Bit they can take your phone and force you to write

Michael: I’ve actually given one of them my phone before so I could focus but I still have the internet on the computer

Jeremy: They can take that and you’ll have to write it old school style

Michael: Then how am I supposed to look at my resources

Jake: Print it or save it as a PDF

Michael: But if one of my moms takes it, saving it would be pointless
And printing and writing it on paper would waste paper

Rich: Turn off your router
And who cares we have plenty of trees

Michael: Me apparently
And no
That’s not how that works

Jeremy: I know someone who would care

Rich: Yes

Jeremy: It’s not me

Rich: Paper is made from tree juice

Chloe: I don’t care

Jake: Maple syrup

Michael: What the fuck
Isn’t that sap?
Sap is not paper from my knowledge

Rich: No that’s tree spit

Christine: They take trees and grind them up and add water and pressure

Michael: That’s not juice that’s bones

Rich: It’s juice

Michael: Juice is wet. Bones you can grind

Jenna: What the fuck r we talking about

Christine: Good question!
I don’t know! :)

Rich: Well apple juice is just ground up apples plus their juice

Brooke: I kinda thought apples were squeezed like lemons?

Jeremy: No
You can’t squeeze an apple

Michael: Not with that attitude

Jake: I can squeeze apple
I is strong
I drink milk

Rich: I poured a cup of milk yesterday because I thought I wanted a glass but when I started drinking I realized I just wanted cold water

Jake: I thought u didn’t like milk?

Rich: Sometimes

Brooke: I love milk

Rich: Like with cereal

Jeremy: I only like it with cookies or cereal
Otherwise I don’t like it

Michael: Same
That’s one reason I drink lemonade with breakfast

Jenna: Wait what the fuck

Rich: I don’t eat breakfast

Jeremy: I eat breakfast cuz I was forced to so now I have to eat it or I’ll be hungry

Michael: I eat it on the weekends
I have a muffin or poptart with a cup of lemonade

Rich: I have popcorn if I work. If not I starve

Michael: I need to start eating breakfast because I walk alot at school
Is it a lot or alot

Christine: A lot

Michael: I thought alot was also a word
At least autocorrect isn’t correcting it
Fuck autocorrect
Just googled it
A lot*

Michael: My moms observed my habits yesterday
Excuse me, one of my habits
Which of course is turning on all the lights
Which is odd because I’ve been doing it for years
Because the dark is spooky and we have like 3 ghosts

Rich: Speaking of which!
Slept with my light on one night this week because I was about to fall asleep when I heard demonic child giggles!
So I had to turn off Welcome to Night Vale (too paranoid at that point even for Cecil’s voice to put me at ease) and turned on a random Barbie movie

Jake: Okay
I’m gonna day this one more time

Rich: Nah

Michael: Lights on! Demons gone!

Jake: When we move in together, the getting our house blessed bro not kidding

Rich: Live with my ghosts or die with my ghosts, bro

Jake: Fuck to the no
The house is getting blessed
It’s happening whether u want it or not

Rich: Watch me be a demon

Jake: I’m taking the cross that has been out over my door and gonna put it over my door at our house

Rich: House arrest for me then

*Jake sent a picture of cross over doorway*

Jake: For proof

Rich: I believed you

Jeremy: My house has been blessed before
I like how none of u questioned my house being blessed

Michael: You’ve told me before

Jeremy: Have I?

Michael: Everytime I mention my ghosts

Jeremy: Whoops sorry I’m being annoying haha

Michael: No? Idk if you told anyone else but I’ve known?
To be fair. I wished my friend a Happy Birthday (two days late too I was so embarrassed)
And she responded with: You already told me?
Which was absolutely confusing
But she’s the same friend who saw me in the halls the friday I didn’t come to school at all

Jeremy: If I miss someone’s birthday, I probably won’t wish them a happy birthday at all due to embarassment

Rich: Coward

Jeremy: That I am
I already knew that

Michael: We’re all cowards tho?
Nothing to be ashamed of

Jeremy: It’s okay. I know I’m most cowardly

Michael: No!

Jeremy: I get anxiety over raising my hand in class
Like major
I have to spend the rest of class calming down

Michael: That’s why I don’t do it
Or talk

Rich: Antisocial
Sorry for the vague one words I am tired

Jake: U need to sleep more

Rich: Sleep is for the weak!
And I’m not weak!
It’s not a sore throat!

Jake: Get some rest!

Rich: I will! Just have to do the dishes first!

Jake: Good