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Here Comes The Bride

Chapter Text

It wasn't long that the team was able to relax after saving the world. Barry went back to his college courses and living in his abandoned warehouse despite Bruce and Clark's many attempts to offer him a place to stay while he finished his studies. Diana went to her home in Paris every weekend to run her mysterious antique business before reappearing with a joke on her tongue and a bright light in her eyes and Arthur was soon back in the ocean- Bruce and Alfred were always amused when stories of garbage being thrown at litterers were mentioned on the television because who else would be so cheeky besides the king of the seven seas himself? 

It was rare to have the whole team together after the battle against Steppenwolf's aliens, and Bruce loved being able to catch up, relax and just be Bruce Wayne for at least a little bit. 

"Being Bruce Wayne does not involve listening to police scanners," Alfred reminded him for the millionth time. He was sitting in the living room with Diana and Clark, a game of Monopoly laid out on the glass coffee table. On the other side of the room, Barry had his papers strewn about, a textbook flipped open as he scribbled furiously in a battered notebook. 

"Cut me some slack, Al," Bruce jokingly pleaded, "never know when Dick might call one in."

"Master Dick is a grown man and has a squad working alongside him each time he goes on patrol," Alfred reminded him with a smile, "besides, it's rude to ignore your current guests."

Diana shook her head before Bruce could say anything, "It is quite alright, Alfred," she said with that pretty accent of hers, "Gotham is a dangerous place. What Bruce is doing is a wonderful thing."

"It'd be more wonderful if he would stop listening to police reports and actually going to sleep," Alfred nodded.

Barry laughed from his little study area, making Bruce jump, as he had forgotten the kid was even there, "Yeah, man. Sleep is for the weak. I'm pretty sure if he really focused, Bruce can hear colors."

Bruce rolled his eyes as Arthur chuckled under his breath, giving Barry a high five. Clark was rolling the dice, almost robotically moving his piece along the board. Diana was watching dutifully, eyes calculated as Clark landed on the free parking space. Diana grinned as he scooped up the colorful bills from the middle of the board, biting her lip as she so obviously waited for Bruce to tell him that this was not how the free parking space worked in the game. 

Bruce raised an eyebrow at her as he leaned closer into the crackle of the radio, fiddling with the dial as static broke through on the speakers. He knew Alfred was looking at him disapprovingly, but he ignored his butler in favor of the radio. 

"bbzzzt... CPD.... zzt- Officer taken- zzzt-"

Bruce frowned, exchanging a worried look with Alfred.

"You think it's Dick?" Bruce asked.

"He has a Bat-Signal in his watch should he need help," Alfred reminded him, "and Captain Rorchbarch always keeps an eye on her squad."

Bruce nodded, licking his lips, "Right, right. Dick is an adult, he's in good hands-"

"But what if your son needs you?" Diana asked suddenly, putting her piece down carefully on the board, the game suddenly forgotten, "Should we not see if he's alright?"

"My son knows if he needs me, to call," Bruce said confidently, "let me just fix the signal...." He twisted the dial again, yanking at the antenna until the static had cleared. Even Barry was listening now, closing his books as quietly as possible so as not to break the atmosphere. 

"-GCPD Officer taken hostage, I repeat, GCPD Officer taken hostage, all units dispatch to the Gotham Cathedral on the main road-"

Bruce swallowed roughly as a familiar voice filtered through the radio- Clark had straightened his back, shoulders squared as they listened further.

"Suspect is armed and dangerous, Barbara Kean, recently admitted to Arkham Asylum, do not approach unless otherwise instructed-"

No one said anything, the silence unbearable as they heard none other than Nathaniel Barnes repeat his instructions on the radio, voice harried and worn, and from the corner of his eye, Bruce saw Clark freeze, a hand reaching for his glasses as he cocked his head ever so slightly, jaw clenched. 

"Clark?" Barry's voice was quiet- too quiet, in Bruce's opinion- "Are you okay?"

Clark flashed a quick smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. Diana put a hand on his shoulder, moving to rub his back in soothing circles.

Arthur, after a few minutes of silence, was the first to speak up.

"Not to be rude or anything," he said gruffly, "but if Gotham is the Bats territory, why is the Boy Scout more upset than you?"

"Arthur!" Diana hissed at him.

"Just sayin'," Arthur shrugged, "You have a sweetheart living there?"

Clark managed a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, "Yes, actually. On the GCPD, in fact."

Bruce leaned forward, "We don't know it's Harvey, Clark."

"Shouldn't we go check it out, though?" Barry piped up, "I mean-"

"This is a police matter, Barry," Bruce cut him off, "I know you want to help but we need to let them handle it."

On the radio, the captain was dispatching the officers. Bruce knew of the Gotham Cathedral, had been there many times in facf; once on a school trip with his history class as a kid, another time with Selina on a date. Bruce pursed his lips as he watched Diana talk to Clark under her breath, no doubt trying to reassure him it would be okay.

Bruce realized that Clark could probably hear it. With his powers, he didn't need a dinky little radio, didn't even have to try, and he decided that Barry was right.

Time for the League to try something new. 


Harvey didn't like Barbara Kean that much. 

When he first met her, way back when Jim had first joined the police department, she had walked in with all her fancy clothes and fancy jewelry and her nose turned up at anyone who so much as looked at her funny. Hell, even Ed hadn't deserved the way she snapped at him to leave her alone as she waited for Jim during his lunch break and he didn't even like Ed. 

Then she was kidnapped and went crazy and the rest was history. Really, it cemented his hatred for the woman the more she tried to "get Jim back" as if the wonderful Leslie Thompkins had stolen him from her like a five year old stole crayons from the one hundred color box in kindergarten. 

Even Jim was getting tired of trying to get Barbara to back off- time and time again after Lee had offered her services as a therapist, Barbara insisted she was happy for her and Jim, only for her to turn around and stab the two of them in the back- this time quite literally, as Harvey noticed the sluggishly bleeding stab wound near Lee's shoulder. 

"You okay, Doc?" Harvey dared to lean over and whisper to her, fidgeting with the zipties around his wrists. Lee was trussed up similarly, her white lab coat stained red from her wound. Harvey wasn't much of a doctor, but she didn't look pale or sick, so she was probably okay for now. He could barely hear Jim trying to convince Barbara to not kill anyone, just let them go, but Harvey could hear the exasperation, the heaviness in his friend's voice.

"It's fine," Lee assured him, "I'm more worried about Jim-"

The sound of skin on skin made them both jump, Jim's head snapping to the side as Barbara slapped him across the face. 

"You proposed to me!" she was yelling, "ME, Jim!"

"That was before, Barbara!" Jim was insisting, working his undoubtedly sore jaw, "You're sick, you need help-"

Harvey could feel Lee leaning on him, and he turned to find her twisting in her seat, biting her lip so hard Harvey thought she was going to make herself bleed.

"Churches, right? For a shindig this big, you'd think they'd splurge for cushioned seats," Harvey muttered.

"Very funny, Harvey," Lee shot him a grimaced smile.

"Just trying to lighten the mood," he said, jutting his chin at Barbara, who was pacing angrily in front of the altar. Jim had given up on trying to talk to her, yanking instead at the ropes around his wrists, arms wrenched behind him. Sighing, Harvey looked around- the church was mostly empty, save for himself, Lee, and a few random homeless people Barbara probably pulled off the street. All were cowering in the pews and Harvey didn't blame them: the crazy lady was babbling about happily every after and was currently waving a gun around.

"Damn it!" Lee cursed under her breath, "The zip tie is too tight! I can't reach my phone!"

Harvey rolled his eyes, "Who are we gonna call? Batman? Last I heard he was busy shacking it up with the League-"

"Yeah, well, do you have any other options? The Captain is too much of a goody two shoes to just barge in here already and Barbara is way too close to Jim for my liking!"

Harvey snorted under his breath, "You and me both, sister."

Harvey knew Lee was right too- the kiss in the interrogation room had gone on a little too long for Harvey's liking, considering Barbara was actively trying to kill Lee and not even hide it from Jim. So long as she got Jim back, it didn't matter, right? Hands clasped behind his back, Harvey felt his fingers brush his watch-

"Wait- Lee, I can call Batman!" Harvey hissed excitedly, keeping his voice as low as possible. Lee snorted, shaking her head.

"Yeah, I can!" Harvey insisted, "Look at my watch, there should be a button!"

 Lee's surprised scoff told Harvey she hsd found it, "That's the Superman logo, you doofus!"

Harvey rolled his eyes, "Just press the damn thing!"

So Harvey squirmed and allowed the lovely doctor to reach behind him, the detective resisting the urge to make easy jokes about hands and where they've been until he felt her fingers curl around the watch and press the button.

"There," Lee announced, breathing heavily, "let's hope Superman comes in time."

Harvey didn't say anything, resigning himself to watching a terrified priest help Barbara and Jim recite their vows. 

Chapter Text

The light flashing on Clark's watch spurred the team into action, suiting up in record time (beating the record in Barry's case, but no one was going to start that argument right now) and Bruce was leading them downtown to Gotham Cathedral. Police cars were stationed in the front lot, red and blue lights flashing obnoxiously in the dark. A large man built like a brick shithouse was barking orders into a police talkie, his bald head shining under the lamplights.

"Is that Nathaniel Barnes?" Barry pointed at him, rolling his shoulders as he skidded to a lightning-striked stop on the wet pavement. A laugh, as Barry added "Looks like a boiled egg-"

"Nice," Arthur gave him a fist bump and Bruce found himself regretting even bringing the team along. With a flourish, Bruce threw his cape behind him, stalking forward in his military-grade industrial boots. He could feel gravel and stray bullet shells crunch underfoot as he approached Captain Barnes. 

"Captain Barnes!" Bruce growled, smirking when Barry laughed at the man's jump.

"I swear to god, what is it with this townnand costumed idiots?!" Barnes shot back, bewildered as he took in the heroes standing proudly in front of him. He gestured to Bruce's cowl, "This ain't a Halloween party, jackass, this is police business-"

"We picked up your inbound from our scanner," Bruce glowered, and if he flexed a little harder than necessary to intimidate Barnes, well, no one said anything. 


Nathaniel Barnes could not believe the gall this loon had.

It was late at night, he was tired, his subordinate was currently being held hostage in a psuedo-wedding by his insane ex-fiancee. So of course things are going to go shit and of course that means some idiot and his friends wanted to play vigilante.

He had to admit, these guys did look formidable, with large muscles, kevlar suits and he was fairly certain the woman had an honest to god sword strapped to her back.

Either that or he got a face full of Joker gas and didn't realize it. 

"And who are you supposed to be?" Barnes jutted his chin at the man- his suit looked ridiculous, sleek black leather with weird pointed ears atop his head. The woman was adorned in a blue leather skirt and a red armored corset, silver bands and a gold crown the accessories to go with what looked like a glowing gold rope on her hip. Next to her was a fidgety kid in snazzy red armor and Barnes was fairly certain he was hopped up on.... something. 

"So, Bats!" Barnes jumped as another costumed freak boomed loudly, planting a foot confidently on the hood of one of the police cars and he winced at the screech of metal; the man's weight had crushed the hood of the car. "What's the plan?"

Barnes held up a hand, "First off, I'm gonna need you to put down the pitchfork-"


"Whatever," Barnes brushed it off, "I got a guy in there and this isn't the first time. Either sit down and stay safe or go home."

The man dressed as a bat didn't move, instead, moving to stare longingly at the Cathedral. Barnes frowned, watching as the man and his friends seemed to have an almost silent conversation, full of wide beautiful eyes and pouty lips and longing gazes. The police had faltered, unsure of what to do but Barnes managed to splutter out an order.

"Josie! Take Alpha Strike and move riund the back, take out anything out if the ordianry," Barnes ordered. Josie was quick on the job, the team quick and silent as they darted forth, delving into the shadows.

"Alpha Strike?" the Batman said, "I don't remember that being part of the GCPD at all."

Barnes balked, "And why is the GCPD of concern to a bunch of costumed freaks?"

"First off, I kinda resent that!" the one in red chimed in, "Then again, the only thing I know how to fight are aliens that Diana's evil brother sent after the planet so my judgement might not be the best!"

Okay, okay, that was it. Barnes didn't have time for this! He could hear muffled yelling coming from inside the church, and Barnes knew they couldn't waste anymore time on this- 

"Harvey turned the signal on, Batman," a voice sounded nearby, "We need to get in there fast."

Frowning, Barnes looked around for the source of the voice, gaping as he tried to find the words as a man in blue spandex hovered oh so slowly to the ground, red cape fluttering behind him, dare he say it, majestically. 

"Superman, we can't just go in there lazer eyes blazing-" Batman started.

"Some of us don't even have lazer eyes!" the one in red armor piped up once more.

"Flash, enough," the woman named Diana shushed him.

As Barnes took in this team, these six or seven people bickering amongst themselves, he realized that Gotham was in more shit than he thought.

And then the Batman sent the supposed Flash with this Diana woman to back up his Alpha Strike team, while Superman floated above with a stony glare towards the crumbling brick and shattered stained glass of the Cathedral.

Chapter Text

The tape around Jim's wrists was too tight, his hands turning a sickly pale color as he tried to work at snapping it; he only succeeded in creating more of a sticky, mangled mess. He eyed Barabra, who was staring at the priest with unbridled glee in her eyes, too bright to be sane.

"Barbara, you have to let these people go," Jim pleaded, taking in the tape slapped across the old man's mouth, presumably to keep him quiet until Barbara needed him to speak.

Barbara smirked, smoothing down the skirt of her weddinf dress, "I don't have to do anything, silly."

Jim groaned, "You can't hold these people against their will!"

You can't hold Lee against her will hung silently in the air, an afterthought when he turned his head and saw her and Harvey tied up in the frontmost pew. A few of the people Barbara had picked up off the street were cowering in fear, looking unsure if they could move or not. 

"At our own wedding, Jim?" Barbara huffed, brow furrowed as she planted her hands on her hips. The priest was shaking, and Jim didn't blame him.

"There was never going to be a wedding, Barbara," Jim said through gritted teeth, "Not for you and me."

"Oh, but you'll have a wedding with Lee?" 

Jim paled, opening his mouth to protest, only to clamp it shut when he couldn't fins the words. Jim loved Lee, sure, but the relationship was still new, they were still treading the waters.

Maybe, Jim thought, if I make it out of here Lee won't hate me....

"Don't look so grumpy!" Barbara tapped his nose playfully, "I knew you still loved me when you kissed me in the interrogation room-"

No, he didn't. It was a ploy, because they needed ro know what Galavan was up to. They needed to know how to protect Bruce, how to protect themselves-

"-and nothing will ever come between us!" Barbara said, giddy as she reached into the folds of her dress and whipped out his own standard GCPD-issued gun. Jim watched wide-eyed as she reached forward and ripped the tape off the priest's face, the old man gasping for breath as she unlocked the safety.

"Barbara-" Jim warned, only to find the barrel tucked under his chin, cold steel biting into his skin. 

Beaming, Barbara jutted her chin at the priest, "Start talking before I blow his brains out."

And so the priest opened the book with shaking hands, reading the first lines of the ceremony in a quivering voice, obscured in shadow as he stood in front of the altar just under the stained glass window. 


 "Hey, Supes!" Barry called up to the man hovering a few feet above the Strike Team's position, "Whaddya see in there?"

The Strike Team looked at him uneasily, but Barry didn't blame them; despite being Gotham and seeing weird shit everyday, apparently the one thing they didn't see alongside their precious Batman was a whole team of superpowerd people who, for once, were not out to get them.

Wild, right?

Clark didn't say anything, staring stonily through the window for a few seconds before saying, "She has hostages-"

"The Captain could have told you that," one if the Strike Force members muttered under their breath.

"- about six of the local homeless," Clark ignored the guy, "Harvey Bullock and the morgue doctor are trapped in the pews as well."

Barry counted on his fingers, frowning, "What about the other guy? Jim Gordon?"

"He's in there," Clark said, "Barbara has a gun on him. Some sort of wedding ceremony."

"Ooh, kinky."

"Not the time, Mr. Flash," the one called Josie reprimanded him.

"Shit, right, sorry," Barry apologized, "So what's the plan?"

No one said anything, the Strike Team instead preparing their weapons and having some sort of silent conversation, eyebrowsnand rolling eyes in full swing; Josie made some sort of complicated hand motion and Barry huffed.

"What?" Josie barked, clearly annoyed.

"Okay, so I'm not much of a fighter," Barry said, "but I can get everyone out faster and possibly safer-"

"In this scenario, Mr. Flash," Josie hissed under her breath, "you are the civilian. By law, you should have been escorted from the premises at the beginning to lessen casualties."

Barry opened his mouth to reply, only to clamp it shut at her unnerving glare. Honestly, she had a point, and it was a fair point, but given that his friend's guy love was currently being held against his will (and Clark had so many questions to answer when this was all over), not to mention that the League was way more equipped to handle this than the Strike Team (who all looked bone tired and dead behind the eyes), Barry knew he wasn't really going to listen to the Strike Team.

"Okay, so honestly, the only reason I'm here is because Batman asked us to come," Barry finally said.

"Batman?" Josie said incredulously.

Barry nodded, "Yeah, you know- big, scary, dressed like a bat? Gotham's protector?"

"I like to think the police are doing a good job."

"And now you have multiple hostagess in a church, but what do I know, I only have superspeed," Barry retorted. He glanced up, Clark having gone quiet- he was most likely using that swanky super hearing of his to, well, hear things. 

And then Clark used his laser eyes to blast through the window, colorful glass raining down on them below.

"...Annnnd that's my cue!" Barry chirped, "Adieu!"

From the corner of his eye, he caught the Strike Team's shocked faces as he left in a blur, leaving nothing behind but crackling yellow bolts of lightning.

Inside the church, Barry was able to move around with surprising ease, the pews stationed a good few feet from the altar and between each other. One by one, Barry was able to deposit the homeless personss in front of Captain Barnes, who looked loke he was about to fry from the amount of lightning in his wake, until he skidded to a stop next to the frontmost pew of the church, leaning in next to a bewildered morgue doctor and fellow police chief.

"Holy moley, I do not get paid enough for this," the police officer muttered under his breath.

"Budget cuts, am I right?" Barry joked, "I mean, I don't even get paid!"

The woman shook her head, fidgeting with the zipties on her wrists, arms behind her back, "I'm sorry, who are you?"

Flash beamed, bowing obnoxiously, "Fastest Man Alive, at your service! Although, most people call me The Flash-"

"Listen, compadre!" thr man cut him off, flipping long brown hair out of his eyes, "Get Jim or get out-"

Barry raised his hands defensively, "Slow your rolls, buddy! I've done my part, but Jim is in good hands. Now who's first for me to run outta here?"

They both looked at him like he was a blazing idiot, which, in all honesty, they had every right to do, but Barry didn't mind it. Carefully, he reached under the doctor, slinging her up against him bridal style as careful as he could.

"What are you doing?!" she spluttered, "What about Jim?!"

"I got you," Barry said, "And Supes has Jim."

Vaguely, Barry could hear the old priest reciting the ceremony, Barbara standing proudly with an obviously knocked around Jim slumped on the ground next to her, gun pressed to his head.

"Supes?" the doctor asked curiously. Barry ignored the question, turning to the detective, "You Harvey, by any chance?"

"What's it to ya?" the man shot back.

"Oh, Superman is gonna be in so much trouble when this is over!" Barry crooned, "I mean, why would anyone besides Jim Gordon have a Bat Signal? And he gave you a Superman signal to boot?!"

Harvey looked like a fish out of water as he finally managed to get out, "How do you know he gave me one?"

Barry felt the doctor pressing herself as close to Barry as possible, trying not to slip oit of his grip. Up front, Jim wasn't looking too good, barely responding to Barbara as she jostled him. His shoulders were slumped, head hanging and Barbara wasn't exactly being careful when, with a loud crack, she slugged him across the back of the skull.

He fell with a heavy thud to the wooden floors, and Barry thought he could see a red puddle forming under his head.

"That bitch!" the doctor snapped, adding, "Sorry-"

"Let me get you out of here and Superman-"

The priest had just finished the ceremony, and Barry could hear him say those dreaded words:

"If anyone o-objects to this mar-marriage," the priest stuttered, "speak... now or for-ever hold... hold your peace-"

"Ohhhh how badly I object-" the doctor whispered angrily.

Just as Harvey was going to put in his two cents, as Barbara was screaming at an obviously unconscious Jim to get up and waving her gun around when there was a loud crash, and Superman's red lasers burst into the building.

And then Clark was flying in through the window, in all his Kryptonian glory. Barbara screamed, dragging Jim back with her down the altar as best she could without tripping in her dress. The priest at least had the common sense to run, making his way across the altar to jump through a side door to hide.

"At least someone has some sense," The doctor muttered. Barry nodded, rubbing her back in what he hoped was a reassuring manner. 

 They watched as Clark landed heavily, wood splintering underneath. Red cape billowing grandly, Clark approached the ever-frantic Barbara Kean as she dragged Jim in front of her, the gun pressed to his face once more.

"Step any closer and I shoot!" Barabara screamed at him.

"Okay, that's my cue!" Barry said and before the pretty doctor he was carrying could protest, Barry had her out in (dare he say it) a flash, depositing her in front of a bewildered Captain Barnes and a flash of yellow lightning.

Chapter Text

Harvey wisely didn't say anything as the new guy- The Flash, his mind supplied unhelpfully- whisked Lee away, and he winced at the smell of burning rubber and the electricity hanging in the air. He had a few more important things to worry about, those things being Barbara Kean with a gun, Jim Gordon taking a nap with a head wound and the bug winner: his boyfriend showing up unannounced with his superhero friends and objecting to Barbara and Jim's "marriage."

Barbara had given up on using Jim as a human shield, now holding the gun out with shaking hands. The white skirt was splattered with red and Harvey had to look away to focus on something else, anything else because he really didn't want to think about the fact that his best friend was at the mercy of this psycho yet again. 

"God, I am getting too old for this," Harvey muttered as he rubbed his wrists together. The zip ties were starting to hurt, digging into the skin as he tried to undo them to no avail. In front of him, Superman (he couldn't call him Clark yet, not until they were out) stalked towards Barbara, eyes glowering until he turned to look at Jim, crumpled and bleeding on the floor.

"Hey!" Barbara yelled as Superman leaned down to pick Jim up, cradling him carefully in deliciously muscular arms. "We didn't finish the ceremony!"

"News Flash! There isn't any ceremony!" the words left Harvey's mouth before he even realized he was speaking.

"Jim loves me!" Barbara insisted, and in a whirl of white tulle and lace the gun was trained on him.

"He loves Lee," Harvey said, "you gotta let him go-"

Barbara let out a strangled noise, sounding almost like a cat puking up a hairball as she clicked the safety off her weapon; Clark had taken a step back, Jim in his arms and there was a look on his face, that stoic look Harvey knew he put on for all the papers when donning his Superman get-up with steely eyes and gritted teeth. Not a hair was out of place (as per the norm- Harvey never saw the guy using a comb either and he was starting to think Clark's hair just did that on its own or he wore a wig) but he could see small flecks of glass tangled near the nape of his neck and decorating his hairline.

It wasn't until Harvey noticed that Clark was only a foot away when he realized he was trying to provide cover should Barbara start shooting again. Of course, she wouldn't try to shoot Jim, but everyone else was fair game, right?

"Cl- Superman?" Harvey corrected himself quickly once Clark had the small of his back pressed against the pew; this close, Harvey could feel the warmth of his body radiating from his person, not unlike when the man had shown up to his apartment with a sunburn that made him look like a box of hot tamales and a bone crushing hug that gave Harvey second degree burns just by association.

"Did she hurt you?" Clark asked, tilting his head ever so slightly.

"Nah, nah, I'm pretty good," Harvey resisted the urge to press his forehead into Clark's back and just... breathe him in, because they had more important things to worry about. Stealing a peek from behind Clark, Harvey saw Barbara toss the gun away, letting it clatter loudly against the wood. 

"Those zip ties tell another story.... darlin'," Harvey could practically hear the grin on Clark's face as he said it.

"You know I love it when you talk Southern to me, babe, but let's get outta here first, yeah?" Harvey said just under his breath.

"Agreed." Clark nodded briefly, eyes still on Barbara as she had started pacing, dress bunched in her fists so tight it looked like she would rip it. Her hair had started to come undone from its elaborate updo, blonde strands sticking to her face and neck with sweat and sheer anger. 

"So, how are we gonna get out of this exactly?" Harvey asked, "Your fast friend took care of everything else but he didn't exactly finish the job-"

Clark chuckled, finally turning around to face him and Harvey felt a swell if pride in his chest as Clark winked those pretty blue eyes at him, muscles flexing aa he held Jim as carefully as possible- super strength was no joke, after all- and his hair shined under the church lights, casting soft shadows across Clark's face.

"Just like this," Clark said and with a sharp whistle, yelled, "Diana!"

Glass shattered overhead and Clark's lady friend burst in through yet another window, sliding along the ground to catch Barbara in a sweeping motion with her sword; once the woman was down, Diana shot out with a bright gold lasso, wrapping Barbara up good and well before flicking long black hair out if her eyes.

"Is that the famous Harvey hiding behind you?" Diana asked cheekily as she tightened the rope- Barbara was uncharacteristically quiet, her eyes wide as she tried to comprehend what exactly just happened.

Clark shrugged, not taking his eyes off Harvey, "Perhaps."

"The League wants to meet him properly when this is over," Diana grunted as she ung Barbara over her shoulder like a sack of flour, "Batman's orders."

"Wait-" Harvey started, failing to find the words as Diana waved at him, marching confidently out if the church as Barbara started to gain her bearings and fussing in Diana's hold, her screeching heard from all the way outside. Heaving a sigh, he looked around at the place- broken pews and splintered wood littered the floor and shattered glass twinkled dangerously under the lights.

Barnes was definitely going to blow a gasket when the church sent the GCPD the repair bills. 

Chapter Text

A week later, Harvey found himself sitting in a manor in the upscale part of Gotham, in his best clothes (work clothes, really), while Clark sar next to him, strong arm around the back of the couch. 

Bruce Wayne's couch. 

Batman's couch. Bruce Wayne's couch, motherfucking Bruce Waynr was Batman and it shouldn't have been a surprise considering he knew Jim had a bat signal on his watch just like his own and-

"What's on your mind?" Clark's voice purred in his ear.

Harvey shrugged, "The usual? Best friend gets kidnapped by psychos, I call in my superhero hunk of a boyfriend and he saves the day."

Clark laughed, "Metropolis is much safer."

"Well, yeah? I mean, you guys don't have asylum breakouts every other day."

A strained silence fell over him once the words were actually out of his mouth- honestly, he still couldn't believe this was what his life had culminated to.

If anything, he hoped his mom was proud, bless her soul.

Footsteps sounded from around the corner and a few seconds later, in walked non other than Bruce Wayne. Thr macho man. The top dog. The Batman.

Fuck. He still couldn't wrap his mind around the idea. Bruce Wayne was known as the millionare playboy, and because of all his public appearances, there's no way he'd be Batman of all people, right?

Up close and without the armor, he looked like a man in his late forties, a surprisingly muscular physique stretching under a Calvin Klein shirt and Ralph Lauren slacks that did amazing things to his figure. His hair was parted neatly on the side, black strands peppered with white from stress and his no doubt many nights out as the caped crusader. 

"So," Bruce announced, perching himself on the oak coffee table across from the couch.

Harvey nodded, stealing a glance at Clark.


"Clark hasn't said too much about you," Bruce offered. Harvey shrugged, leather creaking under his knees as he shifted on the couch.

"And Jim didn't say much about you either," Harvey shot back. 

"For good reason," Bruce said, "Why would billionare Bruce Wayne be Batman?"

"I dunno, cuz he's a self righteous idiot?"

A booming laugh sounded and in walked one of their other friends, the tall beefy dude with the artfully tousled long hair and intimidating tattoos. He plopped himself on a chair near the doorframed, picking at something between his teeth before saying, "If I wasn't already with Mera, I'd snatch this guy up, he's a riot."

Clark almost tensed, but Harvey saw the playfull look in his eye as he retorted, "I don't know, Arthur- Mera has you on a pretty tight leash."

"Nah, that's Vulko. Doesn't know when to let me do my own thing but even the king of the ocean can't take a break."

It suddenly clicked in Harvey's mind where he had seen this guy before.

"You're the Aquaman," he said with revered awe, leaning forward in his seat.

 "And you're just as cute as Diana said you were." Arthur winked at him.

Harvey blushed, but didn't say anything, allowing Clark to butt in and throw jokes around with hia buddies. Honestly, aside from the whole vigilante, superhero thing, he found it to be quite normal. Diana ("Wonder Woman! Wooo!" Arthur had cheered when she came in) brought over a game of Monopoly, which Harvey promptly lost after three hours of delegating banking rules with Bruce. She was just as beautiful out of costume, with sleek shiny dark hair piled into an updo, and wearing just as much money as Harvey was currently sitting on.

The zippy kid was back, although he left as soon as he came once someone named Victor called him, and Harvey was surprised at the sheer amount of electricity he left behind- it could cover the lights in the GCPD for probably a few years if they saved it!

"Lightning strike," Bruce explained at the confusion that must have been on his face, "then a coma for nine months and now he's The Flash."

Clark laughed at him as he nearly spat out his drink, "You're telling me that little kid is the Flash?!"

Clark was the first to speak, "You didn't believe I was Superman at first until I twisted that robbers gun up with my bare hands."

Harvey tolled his eyes, "That was a bank robbery and you were in your civilian clothes, there was no reason to suspect your glasses wearing dorky ass of being Superman of all people, okay?"

Clark smiled, "You like this dorky ass."

"I'm gonna punch that dorky ass in the face if I lose another round."

"No you won't."

"I won't, but-"

He was cut off with a quick kiss, and he could vaguely hear Clark's superhero buddies cooing and giggling around them, but he let Clark kiss him a second time before moving his piece a few spaces on the board.

"That doesn't mean I'm not annoyed with you," Harvey said pointedly.

"You two are so cute," Diana said almost wistfully, then to Clark, "You need to bring him around more, Clark."

"We can double date, if you like? You and Lois can stop by my apartment- how does Friday sound?"

"Perfect, I'll let her know," Diana said before getting up, "Well, I must be going but Harvey?"

Harvey turned to look at her, almost regretting it as he stared up into the most angelic face he'd ever seen.the fluorescent lights created a halo around her head, making her skin glow and hair even more shiny.

"My god, you've got the face of a wood nymph and the body of Ryan Gosling," Harvey murmured.

"It was nice to meet you," Diana smiled and damn it, Harvey was practically blindsided by her dazzling white teeth.

And then she was gone, the door slamming loudly behind her.

Arthur was next, making sure to talk loudly to Bruce's pet fish before going, leaving Arthur and Clark sitting on the couch, playing a half abandoned game of Monopoly with Bruce Wayne.

Who was the Batman. 

And friends with Jim Gordon.

God, Harvey was going to rip Jim a new one when he came back to work.