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High School Romances are Stupid as Shit

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It was about a month after Eijirou and I started dating that the topic of sex finally came up. We’d kissed plenty of times during study sessions, held hands when no one else was around, and by the third week even moved on to making out. It was during one of those make-out sessions on Eijirou’s bed, on a lazy Sunday afternoon, that the topic finally came up, and it didn’t start off so great.

We were both sitting on Eijirou’s bed, mouths moving against each other. I was sitting next to him, technically, but I’d slumped over across his chest, my arms around his shoulders, and his hands were clutching my hips, kneading at them. I groaned into the kiss, his touch doing wonders for knots in my muscles that I hadn’t even known were there. He gasped in response, and I took to opportunity to lick up behind his upper teeth, where I knew he was sensitive. He pulled me towards him and I let him lead, readjusting as I went so I ended up straddling his lap.

Which is when I felt a distinct, hard bump beneath me.

My breath shuddered in my lungs, and I felt frozen, my throat suddenly tight and my stomach filled with fucking butterflies or some shit. My arms were still around Eijirou’s neck, but I pulled away from the kiss, looking down between us with widened eyes. His hands stopped kneading my sides, now only resting lightly against my hips.

I swallowed.

“… Katsuki?” His voice was quiet, sounding nervous, and I whipped my face back up to meet his eyes. There was a small furrow between his brows, and he was biting his lip. “Ummm… Are you… Is everything ok?”

I looked at him for a moment before closing my eyes and hiding my face in his shoulder, squeezing my arms tightly around his broad shoulders.

“I- I’m not ready for- for… for-” Words were escaping me, and I felt a bit panicked. And Gods, but I hated when I got this way. Stupid, and panicky, and unsure what to do. But around Eijirou, my walls were always down, so he could sometimes see me at times like this, times when I felt like I was falling apart at the seams. And this time, it was over something as stupidly small as my boyfriend getting an erection while we’d been making out, what the fuck.

Eijirou’s warm hands started smoothing up and down my back, from my hips to my shoulders and back down again, over and over and over, until I finally started to calm down. I let out a large exhale, relaxing into his hold. I noticed vaguely that the bump I felt was smaller now, not as hard.

“… Do you… want to talk about it?” Eijirou asked, “Because I- I’d kinda like to talk about it, bro.”

I breathed deep again. In, and out.

I steeled myself, and pulled back out of his lap, so that I was sitting in front of him, legs crossed in a pose mirroring his own. Eijirou still looked nervous, afraid, even. Guilt crawled through my insides, because I’d been the one to put that expression on his face.

“If you don’t quit biting your lips you’re going to start bleeding soon.”

He pulled off immediately, chuckling nervously as he ran a hand through his hair. “Right,” he murmured, voice still too soft.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, taking even myself by surprise. No wonder Eijirou’s eyes bugged out in response.

“… What?” He gaped, before shaking his head, “No, hold up, you don’t need to- I’m the one that should be sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong!”

“… Neither did you,” I insisted, “It was me, I just- I fucking- I don’t know, I just froze, I-”

Katsuki,” he cut in, “It’s all ok. Just… breathe, yeah? Take your time.” Eijirou extended his left hand hand towards me, placing it on my right knee before giving it a small squeeze. He was smiling again, at least, though there were still traces of nerves in the tense set of his shoulders and the tightness around his eyes. But his smile was encouraging, patient.

I closed my eyes, taking another breath in, before releasing it. I opened my eyes again slowly, deliberately relaxing my shoulders.

“I- I don’t know why it shocked me so much.”

His mouth ticked up a bit on one side. “… That I got hard?”

I huffed out a small laugh. “Yeah.” A moment. “I mean, I know you’re attracted to me, and we were making out, and like, I know it’s normal, but I just…” I shrugged, not really knowing what to say.

“Katsuki, do you want to have sex?”

It was my turn to have my eyes bug out of my head, apparently. “Huh?!

Eijirou’s other hand came to rest on my other knee, and the weight of both of them felt grounding, somehow. He aimed a small, nervous smile at me.

“Because, I mean, I do. You’re mad sexy, bro,” he grinned, before his expression turned more serious again. “But, I also know that in all the time we’ve dated – Hell, all the time we’ve known each other – you’ve never really talked about sex. You’ve never joined in on Denki’s jokes, or really reacted to Mina’s weirdly explicit romance novel live-readings, or talked to me about how, or even if you were interested in having sex. For all I know, you might even be ace…” He said the last part as if it was a dawning realization, something that had only just now occurred to him. He looked like he might be about to start apologizing, so I intervened before that thought process could go any further.

“I’m not ace, Eijirou,” I told him, hoping my voice was solid enough to convey surety in that, but not heated enough to make it seem like I was overcompensating or in denial.

He nodded, relief on his features. “Right, good. I mean! Not like, good that you’re not ace! I’d love you just the same if you were, it doesn’t matter to me! Just… good that I’m not just now finding out about it, if that had been the case?” Eijirou was grimacing, looking offended at his own jumbled wording.

I smiled. “I’m pansexual, actually,” I began, taking another slow breath. He’s not a fucking mind reader, I have to talk to him. We’ve been working on the whole “communicating with others” bullshit in therapy, it’s time to man up and put it to use.

“And I definitely do have a sex drive. Especially right after a dose of T,” I smirked and wiggled my brows a bit, loving the blush I got in response. Then I sobered again, rubbing the back of my neck with my hand. It was a nervous gesture I’d picked up – most people probably wouldn’t think anything of it, fortunately, but I hated it. When I got really nervous, I sometimes felt like I could still feel Dabi’s fingers around my neck. Fucking PTSD bullshit. “But I… I also have a lot of body dysphoria, you know? I- I want to have what you have, what other guys have, but I don’t. And I likely never will, not completely.”

Eijirou’s brows were furrowed in sympathy, and it looked like he wanted to say something, but I wanted to finish, to get this feelings fuckery over with.

“And also… I- I’m really scared of getting pregnant.” My voice was quiet as I said it, shaking just a little. Eijirou bit his lip again, and his hands squeezed my knees a little, a reminder that he was here, and he wasn’t leaving. He would wait for me to finish. “I- I know there are trans men who are willing to give birth, to have their own children, but that will never be me. I’m going to get top surgery and a hysterectomy for sure, and until then, I’m playing it extra fucking careful. If we’re going to have sex, you need to wear a condom, and I need to be on birth control.” I huffed out a frustrated, bitter laugh, running a hand through my hair. “And I’m not currently on birth control.”

I closed my eyes. “I can’t even begin to describe the dysphoric, anxious shitshow that starts in my brain every time I think about pregnancy. So yeah, if we’re going to have sex, it’ll have to wait until after I get myself a birth control prescription.” I looked back at Eijirou, waiting for him to say something.

He smiled at me, leaning forward a bit. “Katsuki, if you don’t want to have sex, we don’t have to have sex, at all.”

I smiled back a bit, feeling tears prick my eyes, what the FUCK. “I- I want to, though, I think. But just… not yet.”

Eijirou nodded fervently. “Absolutely.” He paused, brows furrowing a bit in an expression I knew meant he was carefully considering something. “If we do get around to sex, eventually, what sort of sex are you open to?”

“Uh… what?” My eyebrows climbed up my forehead, and he blushed.

“I mean… are you open to vaginal, or anal? Uh… oral?” His eyes widened suddenly, and his face was suddenly much more serious. “And what words do you want me to use? What are your boundaries?”

How the fuck did an utter piece of shit like me end up with a guy this fucking good?

“I guess, I’m… open to all of those? For sex, I mean. With words, uh… anatomical terms, I think. Call it my vagina, not my pussy or my cunt. You can call my clit a clit, or a cock. And I guess, try to avoid my chest – you can touch around it if you want, but I don’t want any real attention there, because it’s sensitive, and dysphoria-inducing. And just… straight-up avoid talking about them, too.” I was full-on blushing and I knew it, but so was Eijirou, so it was probably fine.

He nodded along seriously to everything I said.

“Uh… Do you have any boundaries you want me to know about?”

He thought about it for a minute, head tipped to the side and tongue poking out of his mouth. “Not really, I don’t think? Ummmm… I guess, maybe, avoid my feet? I’m really ticklish, so I might end up kicking you or something.”

I snorted with laughter. “Ok, Shitty Hair, I’ll do that,” I told him, rolling my eyes. But then I reached out, taking his hands in my own. “But seriously, if something comes up, just… talk to me, yeah?”

His smile was warm and gentle, like a campfire. “Sure thing, Katsuki. Same to you.”

I leaned forward enough to give him a quick peck on the lips. “Feel up to finishing that English essay now?” He groaned as he flopped back on his bed, and I laughed.


 

Not gonna lie, the whole process of getting a birth control prescription was really fucking nerve-wracking. Because, like, I wasn’t sure how the fuck I was supposed to do that? Was I just supposed to walk into Recovery Girl’s office and alert the woman who is friends and coworkers with both of my adoptive fathers that I wanted the prescription? How the fuck was I supposed to even say that shit?

“Hey, Recovery Girl! So I actually think I want to start having sex with my boyfriend, and that means I need birth control. Could you maybe not tell my two dads that you work with about this?”

Yeah fucking right.

I mean, sure, realistically speaking I’m sure Recovery Girl is able to keep secrets. And there are definitely laws governing privacy where medical matters are concerned. But I’m also under 18, and I’m pretty sure that means my parents have access to my medical records. Hell, teachers at UA can access students’ medical records, so Aizawa and Yamada could definitely find out. Nothing about our interactions thus far indicates that either of them would pitch a fit over it, but it’s still fucking embarrassing to think about.

(Someone somehow managed to talk Aizawa into giving our class sex ed the first year; I’d heard that it was supposed to have been Midnight, but not one of the homeroom teachers for our year were willing to let her do it for their classes, not even Aizawa, the lazy human caterpillar himself. I don’t think I’ll ever find another person who can lecture on such embarrassing subjects, while being awkward as shit and clearly embarrassed themselves, and still maintain a straight face and fucking monotone voice. Truly, an experience I would prefer left unrepeated.)

I spent most of the week going back and forth on talking to Recovery Girl. I didn’t talk about the matter with Eijirou again, not really wanting to bring it up until I had a viable solution to offer. And for once in my fucking life, my classmates actually came in handy.

Since Mineta had been booted (good fucking riddance, that creepy, disgusting motherfucker), the girls had all become a lot more relaxed about hanging out in the common areas, and discussing personal matters while they were there. Since Mineta wasn’t around to ogle and drool over Jirou and Yaoyorozu cuddling, or try to grope Asui and Uraraka if they relaxed and let their guard down, or make gross-ass comments about Mina’s and Hagakure’s trashy romance novels, they all felt freer, and willing to discuss more personal matters even in public.

And that is precisely what happened on Thursday evening. Eijirou had managed to drag me downstairs so that I could tutor not just him, but the rest of the “Katsusquad” (barring Shinsou, of course), as well. I was leaning back against the couch, waiting for the idiots to finish working through a set of math problems, when I overheard a snippet of conversation from behind us, on another set of couches.

Hah, I really hate my birth control, the mood swings are the worst!” I stiffened a bit before relaxing, turning on my phone so I could pretend to be looking at it while I listened.

“You’re on it for period regulation, though, right, Hagakure? Not really much you can do about it…” Uraraka sounded sympathetic, and I could imagine her large eyes and small, pouty frown.

“Yeah, pretty much. I mean, I am interested in… someone, but I haven’t really decided whether or not I’m going to ask them out. It just… makes me really nervous.” I heard Uraraka’s squeal, and readied myself to turn back to the squad and tune them all out, but Yaoyorozu focused on Hagakure’s original concern.

“Have you considered an IUD? They’re easier, since you don’t have to worry about the daily pills, and the hormonal IUD can stop periods altogether.” Now that was interesting. Testosterone also suppressed periods, but it’s not good as birth control.

“Hah, I’ve thought about it, but I’ve heard it can be painful to get implanted, right?”

“Not necessarily! It really depends on the person, but the procedure is generally accompanied by only minimal pain.”

“Hmmm… I guess I might think about it… A little bit of pain could definitely be worth not worrying about the stupid pills all the time.” After that, the conversation was overtaken by Uraraka, who turned it back to persistent questions about who Hagakure was interested in. I turned back to the idiot squad, and put the matter aside.

That night, laying in my bed, I thought about it seriously, and did some research online. Side-effects were different for everyone, so there was no definitive way to predict, but it did seem that high-progestin hormonal IUDs did, in fact, often suppress periods. There was a lot less information on birth control for trans men, but it seemed that the prevailing opinion was that hormonal methods were unlikely to interfere with testosterone’s masculinizing effects. So ok, maybe this could work? And like Yaoyorozu had said, it meant not worrying about daily pills – I’d be good to go for years, no worries.

But the idea of having a doctor, a complete stranger, performing such an invasive procedure… That really set me off. I couldn’t help the old worries, the remnant stupid fears, because normal men don’t have to visit gynecologists, don’t have to take fucking birth control.

I groaned, running my hands through my hair. Fuck, but I really need to talk to someone about this. And if that, in and of itself, didn’t communicate quite clearly how fucked up this whole situation had me. I had quite deliberately avoided even thinking about gynecological visits and birth control before the issue had come up with Eijirou.

But I didn’t want to talk to him about this. No, what I wanted to do was talk to another person with a vagina. I felt a hot flush of shame and embarrassment flood through me. Fucking Hell. I bit my lip angrily as an image of Yaoyorozu’s concerned face floated through my mind. She had been the first of my classmates (outside of fucking Deku, of course) to find out that I was trans. She had been the fucking class mom she always was that night, but had kept my secret and kept her distance afterwards, acting as if nothing had changed, as if she didn’t know something about me that I was so desperate to keep hidden from the rest of the world.

And apparently, she was the person who gave the other girls advice on birth control, on top of everything else.

I took a breath, squeezing my pillow between my arms, before I grabbed my phone and fired off a quick text. No way to back out once I’ve sent it, so let’s man the fuck up.

 

Yaomomo -> Katsuki:

Katsuki: I need to talk to you

Yaomomo: ?????

Yaomomo: Is everything alright? Do you need me to alert the teachers? Or call an ambulance?

Katsuki: JFC, EVERYTHING’S FINE, COOL YOUR GODSDAMN TITS

Katsuki: and don’t you DARE tell anyone about this, Ponytail

Yaomomo: Very well. But if what you are about to ask me concerns the health and safety of you or one of our classmates, I hope you understand that I may be morally obligated to tell Mr. Aizawa.

Katsuki: Seriously, it’s not that type of question

Katsuki: Look, fuck, I don’t want to have this conversation over fucking text, ok?

Katsuki: Just… let me pull you aside during lunch tomorrow, yeah?

Yaomomo: Very well. We can meet outside the school building, in front of the athletic field – it’s generally empty during lunch. Will that work?

Katsuki: Yeah, yeah, whatever

Katsuki: but don’t… tell anyone about this, yeah?

Yaomomo: I understand.

Katsuki: … thanks, I guess

Yaomomo: Of course!

 

{Chat Summary: Katsuki haltingly asks Yaoyorozu if she would have a serious conversation with him, but doesn’t say about what (which definitely makes Yaomomo act like the Concerned Class Mom she is for a few messages). Yaoyorozu of course agrees to talk, and to keep the fact that they are talking a secret. They plan to meet the next day (Friday) during lunch.}

 

I hadn’t really been expecting Yaoyorozu’s quick response, but at least it was fucking settled. I left the classroom immediately after the lunch bell rang, and she met me outside only a few minutes after I got there. She sat down on the bench beside me and tipped her head to the side, clearly waiting for me to start.

Fucking Hell. I took a breath.

“I, uh… I heard you talking with the girls about birth control yesterday.” I knew I was blushing, and I fucking hated it, but I held her gaze anyway.

She squinted for a moment, and I hoped desperately I wasn’t going to have to explain that further. I relaxed incrementally when her eyes widened a little in understanding.

“Were you hoping to get some advice on the matter?”

I swallowed, and looked up at the sky. “… Yeah.”

“Well, there’s plenty of options! There’s the pill, which I think most people are familiar with, the patch, the implant, and the IUD. These tend to be the most common, and generally considered the most effective when utilized correctly, but there are others. Is it birth control you’re interested in, specifically, or contraception, as well?”

I blushed even hotter, and continued to avoid her gaze as I bit out, “Just… just the fucking birth control.” I took a moment to breathe. “I- I wanted to know where I could get an IUD.” I finally turned my face back down to meet her stupidly compassionate, understanding eyes. She was nodding at me encouragingly.

“Well, you’ll need to see a gynecologist to have it inserted. It is an implanted medical device, after all, unlike the pill or the patch, which you can just pick up from a pharmacy with a prescription.” I nodded with a small sigh, having known as much. “There’s a sexual health clinic a couple blocks down from the school that I and a number of the girls go to. UA’s health insurance plan covers students’ visits there.”

“… Would it go on my medical record?”

“I would assume so, yes. It is a medical intervention, after all, and can affect not just your immediate health, but possibly other medical interventions or medications.”

Well, I guess I’m just gonna have to hope Aizawa and Yamada don’t suddenly decide they’re interested in my medical records. It’s not like they’ve pulled them before, after all, at least not as far as I know. I kicked a small rock in front of my feet, before I relaxed my shoulders and stood up, readying to head to the locker rooms and change for the afternoon’s practical heroics exercises.

“You oughta go get some lunch in you, Ponytail,” I turned back towards her, my grin softer, more teasing than usual. She smiled back at me and nodded. I swallowed. “And uh… thanks for, for this.”

Yaoyorozu absolutely beamed. “Of course! Feel free to let me know anytime you want to talk, regardless of the topic!” With that, she give me a small parting wave as she headed back towards the cafeteria to eat, while I headed off to change.

 

It ended up being another 2 weeks before I finally managed to work up the nerves to walk into the clinic on a Saturday afternoon. Eijirou was visiting home this weekend, so he wouldn’t miss my absence. And hopefully no one else would worry about where I’d gone (or better yet, even notice that I’d left), as long as I was only gone for a short while.

I glanced around a couple of times outside, to make sure there was no one else in the vicinity, before I finally squared my shoulders and headed into the clinic. There were 3 other people in the waiting room; two adults sitting very close to each other, and a woman who looked quite heavily pregnant. I kept my footsteps light as I walked up to the front desk, not wanting to attract any attention with my usual stomping. The receptionist looked up at me, a small smile on their face. They had antennae, and butterfly wings – had the clinic deliberately chosen the least intimidating person they could for this job?

“Hello there! How may I help you?”

I swallowed, glancing around quickly, before leaning forward to whisper, “I, uh… I was hoping to see someone?”

“Do you have an appointment?”

“Ah, no.” Shit, was I supposed to schedule one?

“That’s alright, we take walk-ins, but you may have to wait a moment!” They smiled reassuringly, weaving their fingers together in front of them on the desk. “I will have to ask you to fill out a couple forms, as well. Is this your first time here?”

I gave them a curt nod, mouth tight and trembling fists shoved into my pockets to hide them.

“Ah, alright! So then I’ll need you to fill out these 3 pages, they’re clinic entry paperwork, as well as this 1-page document explaining the purpose of your visit today, and finally, this last page with your insurance information. Feel free to take one of these pens, and take all the time you need. Let me know if you have any questions!” They handed me the papers and pen, and I managed to prevent myself from shaking as I took them. I nodded, and sat down to look over them.

Most of it was easy enough. The insurance stuff was straightforward, since UA gives us student insurance cards, and the entry paperwork was mostly stuff about allergies and medications. What tripped me up, what gave me pause, was the stuff that should probably have been the easiest; sex, gender, and the purpose of my visit.

A part of me was relieved to see that the boxes asking for information on sex and gender were separate, which meant this paperwork was at least designed so that trans people wouldn’t have to do some real awkward muddling around and explaining. It still took me a long time to check the box labeled “female” under the category of “Sex,” even though I’d immediately checked “man” and written my pronouns as “he/him/his” under the category of “Gender.” It took me a full-ass 15 minutes of staring at the page before I finally managed to scribble out, under the “Purpose of Today’s Visit” heading,

“I want to get a high-progestin hormonal IUD inserted.”

It took me another 10 minutes before I’d managed to work myself up enough to head back over to the receptionist and hand the paperwork over, all the while refusing to meet their eyes. I heard them shuffling some of the papers around, and plenty of clacking on a keyboard.

“This all seems to be in order, Mr. Aizawa-Yamada. It’ll be about another hour’s wait, is that alright?”

I turned to face them again, swallowing, even as they smiled at me. There was an air of patience and encouragement around them, and I wondered how many other trans men had walked in like this, nervous as all Hell and unable to talk properly to the receptionist about what they wanted, or what they needed. I nodded quickly, and breathed a quiet, “Thank you.”

The receptionist beamed. “No worries!”

And that was that. I spent the next hour getting increasingly antsy. I listened to some music on my phone, and browsed through my social media. Eventually, I turned the music off and just stared at my blank phone screen, too fucking anxious to pay attention to anything anymore. My leg jittered, and I was glad I was the only person left in the waiting room.

“Mr. Aizawa-Yamada Katsuki?” The doctor who walked through the door smiled expectantly at me, and I pushed myself to my feet. “I’m Dr. Kanzaki; I use she/her/hers pronouns.” She extended her hand, but I shook my head.

“Uhhh… my palms secrete nitroglycerin sweat. And I’m… a bit nervous right now,” I muttered, not meeting her gaze, one hand rising to rub the back of my neck.

“Oh! No worries! We’ve all got quirks, after all, and sometimes they’ve got unpleasant side-effects. Thank you for letting me know.”

I looked back to her, and she gestured towards the door. I squared my shoulders, and followed her lead. We walked through the white hallways, passing a couple of nurses as she lead me towards an examination room, where she gestured for me to take a seat on a chair.

“So! Mr. Aizawa-Yamada, I have a few questions to start us off today, is that alright?”

I nodded.

“To begin, how would you like to be addressed? By what name?”

“… Just Katsuki is fine.” Easy enough.

“Very well, Katsuki,” she smiled, purple eyes warm and encouraging. “Based on your paperwork, you are a trans man, yes? A man, but assigned female at birth?”

I nodded again, throat feeling tight.

“And you would like to get a hormonal IUD today.”

Another nod, even as I felt my shoulders beginning to collapse inward, and I desperately wanted to look away.

“Is the IUD for purposes of period control, or contraception?”

“Uhh… both, I guess,” I mused, then blushed, “But more for contraception, because the T also stops periods.”

“Has your period stopped yet from the testosterone?”

“Yes.” And Gods, what a fucking relief that was.

“It is possible that your periods may restart on the hormonal IUD. If this were to occur, it is rather unlikely to be a long-term situation, but the hormonal balance changes might cause such a shift. Would you still prefer a hormonal IUD?”

“I mean,” I grimaced, taking a moment to think, though I didn’t really see any other options. “I need birth control that isn’t going to interfere with my schedule like the pill would, and the copper IUD is supposed to make bleeding a lot worse, I thought.”

Dr Kanzaki nodded, “That is correct. But let’s talk through the options, regardless, just to be sure you make the correct choice.” She gave me a run-down much like Yaoyorozu’s from two weeks earlier, but with a lot more information, and specifics related to how the various methods might affect my daily life, especially considering that I’m trans. She was straightforward, no-nonsense, but still gentle. I couldn’t help but think Dr. Kanzaki reminded me of a 30-years’ younger Recovery Girl, and that helped to put me a little more at ease.

“Very well. Then we’ll insert a high-progestin hormonal IUD, as you initially requested. Before that, just a few more questions.

“First, have you been on birth control before?”

I shook my head, no.

“And have you ever had sexual intercourse, or sexual relations of any kind?”

“Ah, no, that’s… that’s why I want the birth control.”

Dr. Kanzaki nodded. “I understand. Please keep in mind that there can be some discomfort during and following the insertion procedure, and it can take up to a week for the hormones to be properly effective. I therefore recommend you either wait the full week before engaging in intercourse, or utilize another method of contraception during that time, such as a condom.”

I nodded again, taking that in. It was what I’d expected from my research, but I paid attention anyways.

“And finally: Are you comfortable with me being the one to carry out the procedure?” Her eyes were fixed on me, patient and curious.

I took a moment to think, before eventually nodding. “You, uh… You kinda remind me of Recovery Girl a bit, so, yeah, that works.”

Dr. Kanzaki actually blushed. “Oh, goodness! What an honor, being compared to her! You’ve officially made my list of favorite patients, Katsuki!”

I grinned back, and felt some of the tension slide off of me. She had been completely professional until then, and that was definitely a good thing, but it somehow felt like a relief to make her lose that professional distance just a bit. Less cold and medical, more friendly. Not that like, this was something that a “friend” would ever do for me, but it still made it easier, somehow.

The procedure was actually pretty quick, I think, though it did hurt a bit – pretty fucking sure the cervix isn’t really supposed to open normally, and it’s not like I was relaxed enough for my vagina to be anywhere near loose. I was tight, and uncomfortable, so it was kinda painful. Still, not like I haven’t had plenty worse in training. (Or you know, done worse to myself – I could tell Dr. Kanzaki knew about that, too, judging by the way her eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed a bit when she saw my legs, still covered in years of piled up scar tissue. She didn’t say anything about it, though, and I was grateful for that, at least.)

It was still, all in all, a shitty fucking experience. She took samples for a pap smear and STD panel, just in case, since I was already there, so at least I won’t have to fucking worry about that shit again anytime soon. But it still felt horribly uncomfortable, dysphoric, to have a doctor doing the same procedures they would do with a girl, even if she never once used anything but my correct pronouns and name. It didn’t take that long, realistically, but it still fucking felt like it did. And I was Hella uncomfortable, both before and after.

Dr. Kanzaki warned me that there could well be some spotting, and told me I ought to wear liners for a few days, just in case. I grumbled, but nodded along, resigned. She explained the protocols again, told me to notify their office immediately if anything seemed wrong, let me know that I should get the test results via email in about a week or so, and after double- and triple-checking that I had no additional questions, finally let me go.

I sat in the waiting area for another half an hour afterwards, collecting myself. My vagina stung, and I was definitely fucking “uncomfortable.” But I’d had worse, and it would be fine. I could put up with a little pain for Eijirou, for us. I let out a final sigh and stood up, cursing internally at how wobbly my legs felt, still antsy from the excess adrenaline and nerves. I took it slow on the walk back to the dorms to avoid any undue attention, and actually felt mostly normal by the time I’d arrived back. I even stopped at a convenience store along to way, to give myself an excuse for having been out.

A couple of the girls were sitting around the common area when I arrived, where Yaoyorozu appeared to be helping them all with homework. I passed them on my way to the kitchen, where I began to unload the food I’d bought. Thank goodness for the dorm’s food stipend, honestly, because everyone in here eats like they haven’t in years.

As I headed back out of the kitchen towards the elevators, I met Yaoyorozu’s questioning gaze, and gave her a quick nod. She gave me a brief, approving smile before turning back to help Hagakure with a chemistry problem. I headed into the elevator feeling like my fucking face was on fire.


 

In the end, I didn’t actually tell Eijirou about the IUD until Winter Break. I finally, finally, had my provisional license, and I kept wanting to bring it up when we were together, but it also just… never felt like the right time. And since we spent most of Christmas Eve with the class, there wasn’t really an opportunity to do couple-y things that day. (Not that I’d ever actually be willing to admit that was something I might have, possibly, kind of, maybe wanted to do, just a little bit?) I pulled away early, around 10 p.m., subtly signaling at Eijirou for him to follow me up.

He did, appearing at my door just a few minutes later, a bright grin on his face and posture loose. I let him in, shutting the door quickly behind him before pulling him over towards the bed. My shove was perhaps a little overenthusiastic, and Eijirou landed on the bed a little harder than I’d intended, but the idiot took it in stride, still grinning up at me, all sparkling eyes and grabby hands practically begging for me to join him. I straddled him, kissing his chapped, warm lips fervently, bracing my arms up against his wonderfully solid shoulders.

“Merry Christmas, Eijirou,” I murmured, smirking at him as I rolled my hips down against his own. His hands were immediately at my waist, wide eyes staring up at me.

“… Katsuki?”

I frowned, a little put-off by his hesitancy. Is he not in the mood tonight?

“Ummm… are you… I mean, can I-? It’s just, we haven’t really… not since-”

I huffed out a sigh as I settled back on my hunches, straight-up sitting on his stomach as I rolled my eyes towards the ceiling, trying to hide my nerves with exaggerated expressions and arms crossed over my chest. “Fucking spit it out, Eijirou!” Then more gently, looking back down at his blushing face, “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

He sat up quickly, jostling me back a bit so I ended up in his lap, arms instinctively looping around his shoulders to maintain my balance and keep myself upright. “No! I definitely want to! I just- what about… what about what we talked about last time?” He bit his lips as he gazed nervously up into my eyes.

I smirked back down at him, studiously ignoring the blush sitting high across my cheeks. “I got an IUD weeks ago – we’re good to go.” He groaned as he leaned forward, head knocking up against my collarbone, and I huffed a laugh into his ear. “I just… never really found the right time to tell you, I guess. But I’m ready now, if you are.”

Eijirou raised his head, smiling softly at me. “Yeah, Katsuki, I’m ready.” Then he narrowed his eyes in thought for a moment, before looking up at me in amused disbelief. “Wait a minute – you said “Merry Christmas.” Is this supposed to be my Christmas present?

I blushed even harder, letting out a huff as I looked away. “Of course not, fucking Shitty Hair. I got you an actual gift, too, y’know.”

Katsuki…!

The momentum of his tackle/hug bowled us over, and suddenly I was below him, bracketed between solid arms, below a ludicrously well-muscled body. I swallowed, felling those stupid fucking butterflies in my stomach again. But this time, it didn’t make me nauseous – we’d been right to wait, and I didn’t feel worried, anymore, only excited. I grinned up at him.

“You better make it good for me, Shitty Hair,” I huffed out, rolling my eyes in exaggerated mock annoyance. “Because if you don’t, we’re going to have to spend a whole lot of time practicing.”

Eijirou laughed, loud and excited, stupidly over-amused. “Are you trying to incentivize me to make it bad? What’s my reward if I do well?”

I pulled him down for a kiss. “Hmmm… Maybe I’ll let you choose? As long as it’s not too stupid.”

His smile was brilliant and fond, and I relaxed even more at the sight, a smile playing around my own lips, my face gentler than I’d ever admit. He kissed me again, and I melted into the feeling of warm, rough hands sliding across my abs and up my sides, massaging me.

It wasn’t perfect; it was awkward. Sure, we’d made out plenty of times, but sex was different, and this was both of our first times. We were both nervous, though for somewhat different reasons. Eijirou took his time stretching me, all careful, hesitant movements that nearly drove me up the wall. But I couldn’t say anything, because he was trying so hard not to hurt me, to make it feel good. And while I can definitely take a hit, I’ll at least admit to myself that a sex-related injury is definitely not something I want to deal with. Even once he was finally inside me, it took some fumbling before we managed to get the rhythm right. It definitely wasn’t like in the movies, where the emotions make it perfect, and we manage to both orgasm in synch. He came first, before using fumbling, gentle caresses to bring me over the edge after him. He stayed inside of me, kissing me thoroughly as we came back down, and it irritated me just a little how completely bowled over I was by the experience, how I could only hang on to his shoulders as I kissed back desperately. I may not talk about it openly, but I love physical intimacy, and this experience was on a whole different level where that was concerned, our bodies sheathed inside each other, slowly melding together.

For the amount of exercise, it took an embarrassingly long for me to get my breath back, and we both just ended up falling asleep under my covers, which meant there was a whole lot of grumbling (mostly from me) the morning after, and some awkward shuffling as we changed the sheets. We both showered in my bathroom, exchanging languid, unhurried kisses, neither of us particularly tempted to make it sexual again, so soon after our first time together – there would be more opportunities to do so, neither of us was in a rush. I threw some of my clothes at him, and groaned at how tightly the shirt hugged his buff frame, godsdamnit.

But finally, we ended up on the floor of my room, freshly showered, and exchanged presents. He ran back to his room to get mine, and I made sure he picked up some of his own clothes while he was at it – the last fucking thing I need is for one of the nosy assholes in this building to start questioning why, exactly, Eijirou was wearing my clothes instead of his own, and so early in the morning. Eijirou blushed profusely as he handed over a fluffy orange and red scarf, muttering about how our colors sort of worked together, along with an All Might plush that I would definitely need to hide away from the others, because I loved it, but it was way too cute (and way too fan-boy) for my usual rough brand. He nearly cried when I gave him his own gift: a limited-edition Crimson Riot sweatshirt and autographed fanbook set. I wasn’t able to convince him to release me from his hold for nearly 20 minutes, until I finally told him it was about time for us to head downstairs so I could make lunch.

We ate together as a class, both lunch and dinner. Lunch was pretty simple (just some holiday baked goods, warm sandwiches and tea), since we’d started a little late, and dinner was the main production, anyhow. It was the usual kerfuffle in the kitchen wherein Satou baked sweets (pies and cookies and holiday breads fucking galore; seriously how many holiday bread recipes does this dude have?) and I handled the actual meal (miso soup and potato stew, 4 different salads, roast duck, fried chicken, glazed tofurkey, mashed potatoes, pickled and stir-fried vegetables), with Eijirou and Yaoyorozu (“Oh, goodness, Katsuki, shouldn’t you be calling me Momo by now?” – “Whatever, Yaomomo.” – “Well, I suppose that counts as a compromise.”) helping out, all while Jirou (rather effectively, if I’m being honest) fended off the idiots who tried to sneak a couple bites before things were done. (And Gods, but I appreciate Jirou’s Chaotic Lesbian Energy so fucking much, and I’m sure she knows it, even if I won’t actually tell her to her face. Her music taste is the bomb, and somehow it didn’t even bother me the way Eijirou and Yaomomo started swooning when Jirou somehow managed to challenge me to a fucking holiday-themed sing-off. I studiously ignored the rest of the class as we launched into a duet, dancing our way through the kitchen with small, casual steps, so that I could keep my eyes on all the food.) It was warm, and friendly, and familial, and perfect. Aizawa and Yamada even appeared with Eri for dinner (Shinsou probably invited them, the fucking meddler). Aizawa eyed the idiot squad with an unimpressed glare as they got bubblier and ever more chaotic as the evening wore on. (I privately had some suspicions about what might actually have been in the “non-alcoholic” eggnog they kept passing around, and based on the faces Aizawa was making, I probably wasn’t the only one.) Eri managed to convince me to sing again, because I’m not a fucking monster, honestly, who can say no to her pleading face? By the end of dinner even fucking Uraraka and Yaomomo looked like they were stuffed completely full. Deku fell asleep on top of Todoroki on one of the couches, and the dude really didn’t have the heart to wake the nerd up, so he just sat there, awkwardly petting Deku’s head and shoulders. Aoyama unearthed their disco ball costume from fucking somewhere, and I decided to leave dealing with that whole mess to Shinsou and Tokoyami this time around (I’m the one who handled the fucking hair dye incident, it’s their turn now). I felt so fucking relaxed, so fucking happy, and at the end of the day, got to fall asleep cuddled up with the man I love, wearing the stupid red and orange scarf he’d given me even as he adamantly refused to take off the Crimson Riot sweatshirt, despite how sweltering it must have been under the blankets.

Merry Christmas to all, and goodwill to the world, or however the fuck that fucking saying goes, I guess.