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Jensen Untethered

Chapter Text

 

 

Dear Leslie,

I’m writing to apologize for my bad behavior toward you when you were in Vancouver. I take full responsibility for my bad behavior. I won’t make excuses. Nothing can excuse what I did. I understand now what I did was very hurtful to you and to Jared, and it was also disrespectful. I will not ask you to forgive me because I probably don’t deserve it. I don’t see why you would or should forgive me.

I can try to offer an explanation.

It all comes down to jealousy. I was jealous of your relationship with Jared, and not just your friendship with him, your romantic relationship.

As I write this, I cannot believe it myself, because I was raised in a very traditional way, in a religious home, believing only a man and a woman could be together, that type of thing.

My feelings toward Jared, they were strange to me, different, but I couldn’t identify them or put words to them. It sounds awful to say, but Jared was my best friend, and there were girls for sex, and that seemed to be working for me.

Then Jared met you. I learned only days before meeting you that Jared “preferred men” as he put it.

I’m still not right mentally with the new information I’ve learned and been processing, about myself and stuff.

I don’t think I’m gay, I’m something. I know that I am someone who is in love with Jared. It’s because of you, and my response to you that I woke to it. That horrible and inexcusable response. I guess I should be thanking you but that sounds pathetic and insincere.

Mainly, I want you to know I admit that I was a despicable ass. Jared was so pissed at me, it nearly ended our friendship. He said I disrespected him and you.

Jared said my throwing your stuff in the washing machine with bleach was violent, and I need to learn to express my feelings verbally. All I can say is I’m working on it, and I have a long way to go. I’ve never been good at talking about my feelings.

Apparently, Jared sent replacements for the stuff I ruined with the help of someone named Gina at Nieman Marcus, and he charged it to me. I know it is little solace.

And I owe you an apology for being impolite and rude generally. I’m sorry. I know I acted like a tough guy. The possibility of losing Jared as a friend, and whatever else I would be lucky enough to receive from him in terms of a relationship, is too high a price to pay. I am reforming myself.

I am sincerely sorry for disrespecting you and destroying your stuff. I was jealous and immature.

You were right. We were rivals for Jared’s affection. You said it before I realized it. I wanted Jared’s affection the way he was giving it to you.

I love Jared. He speaks of you in the highest terms. I saw with my own eyes how mature you were, and civil toward me, when I was nothing but rude to you. You’ve modeled behavior that I am trying to learn. I hope one day in the face of distress I can behave with as much level headedness as you have shown. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Jensen Ackles

Chapter Text

 

Jared lay alone in the hospital bed thinking about the predicament he now found himself in…but first he reminded himself to count his blessings.

He felt grateful that he was recovering from the accident with no permanent injuries, and thankful to Leslie for being by his side throughout the whole ordeal of being hit by a car on his bike, and grateful to his brother for traveling from San Antonio to Vancouver to stay by his side in the hospital, and most of all, he was thankful for the miracle of Jensen’s new found affection for him.

Pondering that Leslie’s visit to Vancouver was what catalyzed Jensen to awaken to his feelings for Jared was ironic... Jared took a deep breath, he had unfinished business, breaking it off with Leslie. This was going to be awful

Leslie generously stayed, waiting hours in the hospital, unable to even get into the room to see Jared, and then put up with Jensen’s drama. What a thankless visit to Vancouver it turned out to be for Leslie. Jared shivered reflecting on how painful it was for Leslie to be on the receiving end of Jensen’s jealous wrath; and now Jared would be adding injury to insult by breaking up with Leslie to be with Jensen. Jared felt like a heel and dreaded giving Leslie the news. It was a very uncomfortable spot to be in. On the one hand, Jared was happy to finally be in a budding romance with Jensen, but on the other hand, he had to walk through a valley of pain and discomfort before he could enjoy his time with Jensen. So he stewed on these thoughts, biting his nails anxiously.

He needed to stop stewing and start planning. Jensen was eager and pressing for Jared to get on with it, to get gone with Leslie, as Jensen would say. There was no way through but through.

Jared thought about his summer therapy sessions with Dr. Howell. He entered the summer hiatus depressed, forlorn and pining over Jensen - a man he believed he could never attain, thinking Jensen was strictly hetero - and also feeling ashamed of himself and unworthy. With Dr. Howell’s support, he worked on his feelings, while at the same time, implemented a gym work out a hard, transformational routine, bulking up his body and his self-esteem at the same time, and then, Jared met Leslie.

Jared knew it was impossible to overstate the benefits that he gained from going out with Leslie. Jared needed love so badly. His love tank was empty and while dating Leslie, Jared’s cup runneth over.

But all the while, Jensen never left Jared’s thoughts, hopes and dreams. He continually told himself that it was a waste of time and unhealthy to daydream about Jensen, but his heart beat for Jensen. He just couldn’t curb the feelings he had.

He recalled a conversation with his mother over the summer when she told him, “Jared, my love, you can’t interfere with nature.” Jared had a natural attraction to Jensen that was very strong.  

“So what am I supposed to do then?” he asked his mother.

“Oh Jared, as part of the human race, you will suffer for love. We all do at one time or another. It’s painful and unpleasant, but it’s part of life for everyone. I do not like to see you suffer, but I am happy that if you suffer, it is for love. And I know you will find true love one day because I know you, and I know your heart, and I know how lovable you are.”

“Thank you Mom, I hope you’re right.”

He decided. He would let Leslie know they needed to talk. He knew he had to do it in person, out of respect. He felt he should do it quickly, not keeping Leslie in the dark now that things were developing with Jensen; and make it a clean break, extinguishing any hope for a reconciliation. It was the only fair way to do it.

Jensen arrived at the hospital to see Jared. He stood tall, brightening the doorway with his sparkling eyes and smile. He was having a good hair day, Jared noticed. Jensen was wearing his usual, a faded pair of jeans and boots, and a navy blue Henley shirt. Jared still noticed what Jensen wore even after working together for more than a year. Clothes looked good on him. He didn’t even have to try. He just had a casual beauty on display for the world to enjoy, and he was so unself-conscious about it. That made him all the more attractive. His lack of presence to his own striking good looks, contrasted with the rest of the world's constant notice of them. So striking was he that people stared, their gaze lingered on him, and it wasn’t just Jensen’s face, it was his body too. In the same casual unself-conscious way, he also moved his body, athletic and graceful.

“I brought my guitar.” Jensen smiled entering the room carrying a guitar case. “I can sing and play for you.”

“Now you’re really going to attract the attention of all the nurses who are already in love with you.”

Jensen walked over to Jared’s bed and kissed him hello on his succulent lips.

“mmm,” Jared said, enjoying the portion that was Jensen’s lips, sucking them like a butterscotch candy, not wanting to let them go. Jared pressed his hand to the back of Jensen’s head to hold him in the kiss for a few seconds longer.

“mmm” Jensen replied as he took a breath and smiled, looking into Jared’s eyes.

Jensen pulled a chair over to Jared’s bedside. He placed the guitar case on the floor and began to open it. 

Jared’s romantic fantasies of Jensen were exceeded as Jensen removed his guitar from the case and tightened the strings in preparation to play and sing for Jared in his hospital bed.

“I’m singin’ love, love, love, love, crazy love. I’m singin’ love, love, love, love, crazy love……”

Jared felt his face break out into a huge smile as Jensen sang.

“Better watch it. Singing me love songs, people are going to get ideas about us.”

“I’m just a sensitive actor who likes to sing sentimental songs. I’m not worried. I’ll tell the nurses I am singing it for them”

After a spell, Jensen spoke to Jared in a solemn tone with a serious expression on his face.

“So how did you decide you’re going to break it off with Leslie?”

Jared paused. He felt a flicker of tension in his chest, that was not there a moment ago.

“I’ve been giving it a lot of thought. I plan to do it in person.”  

Jensen looked discomfited by that. “You will have to get on a plane to break it off in person. Are you sure you want to do that?”

“Yes Jensen. I want to give Leslie that respect.”

“You’re still sure you want to break it off with him, aren’t you?” Jensen asked, his voice betraying a not small degree of vulnerability.

Seeing Jensen vulnerable when enquiring of Jared’s feeling for him moved Jared to reassure Jensen.

“Jensen my feelings for you are long and strong. I’ve liked you and wanted to be with you since I first met you. I am going to break up with Leslie. I should have done so sooner. It’s not right that I am in two relationships right now. I mean, until I tell Leslie, it just doesn’t feel right to me. I feel like I’m deceiving Leslie, and I need to let him know right away.”

“Good,” Jensen replied a little too smugly.

“Jensen, Leslie was good to me. He helped me a lot. I was not in a good place at the beginning of the summer.”

“Well do you love him more than you love me?”

“No Jensen. My heart is overflowing with feelings for you. C’mere. Give me your hand." Jensen extended his hand to Jared who held it between his two hands. "Kiss me please,” Jared proposed. 

Jensen kissed Jared on the mouth. They kissed gently and delicately. “I told you I love you. I never told Leslie that.”

Jensen brought Jared’s hand to his lips. He closed his eyes and kissed it tenderly.

“Over the past year, Jensen, I had more than a few therapy sessions to cope with the fact that my gay ass was in love with you. It was so hard for me, keeping my feelings from you, and my sexuality in the closet. I felt very isolated, alienated, alone and depressed.”

Jensen held Jared’s hand tightly, kissing it. “My heart aches to hear that you suffered like that Jared. I feel like I am partly to blame.”

“There’s no blame. If there is any blame, maybe it is on society for not accepting gay people, making me feel like I was a misfit, had a secret, something to hide, so personal, and from a very young age. But I learned in therapy, what’s the point of blaming? Blaming only serves to make me into a powerless victim. I need to start accepting myself for who I am and loving myself.”  

“Jared I am sorry for how you suffered and for your feelings of loneliness and isolation. I hope I can love some of those feelings away.”

“I hope you can too.  It sure will be fun trying. But seriously, I worked really hard on myself over hiatus, my psychological health. I worked out hard at the gym, went to a ton of therapy, got loved on by my family, and decided to look for love. That’s when I met Leslie.”

“Get back to us please Jared!”

“Okay. Jensen, I was just giving you some context around my relationship with Leslie. I want you to understand that he really helped me at a time when I was very needy and down. He was like a boat that got me to the other side of a lake I really needed to cross. Because of that, I need to respectfully end things with him, in person.”

“I can respect that” Jensen offered.

“Until I do end things with Leslie, I don’t want to be unfaithful to him again. I think it’s right for me to wait until I end things with him before you and I start a physical relationship.”

“Wait a minute! What do you mean unfaithful to him? Your not in a relationship with him. It’s already over with him. You left him the minute you asked me to touch you. We began. We are together now. We already fooled around.” Jensen’s patience with this long conversation praising Leslie was growing thin.

“I know Jensen, asking you to touch me like that was wrong. That was a moment of weakness for me. I was in a relationship with Leslie, it was cheating”

“That’s what you’re calling it now? Wrong, a moment of weakness for you? It’s the moment we got together Jared!”

“Jensen, please calm down.”

Jared have you ever been in a situation where you told someone to calm down, and they calmed down?

"I guess not. Jensen, I am here with you, loving you. What I am trying to say is, I need to do the morally right thing. I want our relationship to start out right, with integrity. It’s important to me to officially end my relationship with Leslie before entering one with you. I feel guilty otherwise."

"I am trying to be understanding Jared, but honestly, things are over with Leslie and we are in a relationship. Leslie is just a loose end. And I don’t give a fuck about Leslie, I only care about you. Excuse me for saying so, but I’m not going to lie to you. Leslie is a douchebag who is too old for you, who took advantage of your weakness. I don’t like him. I apologized to Leslie for what I did. But that’s it, Leslie is over as far as I’m concerned. Do what you have to do, but don’t expect me to extend myself for him in any way - and you better believe I am not abstaining from sex because of him!"

“Jensen. It’s not just because of Leslie that I want to wait to have sex. I’m embarrassed for cheating. I mean the first time you touched me, helping with my hospital bath, and I let you jack me off, asked you to…..I can't think about what a slut I was.”

“I like slutty, besides you forget, I’ve known you a year. I don’t think you’re a slut. I’ve always been the one telling you that you need to get laid more!” Jensen, aroused by the talk of slut and Jared in the same sentence, leaned in to scent and kiss Jared’s neck, while placing his hands firmly on Jared’s thighs.

“Careful of my dressings Jensen. Jen, I want you to respect me. I don’t want a one-night stand. And I want you to trust me. Plus, even though we’ve known each other for a year, we just started dating. I like the idea of taking things slowly. It’s more romantic. I mean we haven’t had our first real date yet.”

“I respect and trust you Jared. Okay, how about we plan our first date for when you get out of the hospital? What would you like to do?”

“I want you to plan something, surprise me. Think about what I would enjoy.”

“You know you're a girl today. You were much easier and bossier before this dating stuff. You just told me where we were going, what I needed to wear, and warned me if it was going to be expensive.”

“Yeah, well now, I like when you take the initiative.”

“In all areas?”

“Sometimes, I might initiate.”

“Like you did when I gave you your sponge bath?” Jensen moved his mouth close to Jared’s ear when he asked, breathing his hot breath on Jared’s ear.

“Jensen…it tickles”

“Jared, c’mon,” licking Jared’s ear, “I can put on a show for you again, and you can watch, like the last time.”

“Jensen, when you touched me for the first time, bathed me in the hospital, I couldn’t help myself. Just because I said yes then, doesn’t mean I will say yes again today. I would like our next time to be more romantic, and not in this hospital. I would like to be out of these bandages so I can really participate.”

“I can’t wait” Jensen replied, his frustration bulging in his jeans.

The day arrived when Jared was getting released from the hospital. Shooting for Supernatural would resume for him the following day. The writers put out ten episodes already, but because of Jared's injuries, they made modifications making them heavy Dean and light Sam episodes.

Sam got tied up for most of an episode, and Dean had to go through hell and high water to rescue him. Sam was told he would be unconscious for most of an episode, or even in a hospital bed, or locked in a jail cell, things they did to make it easier on Jared during his initial return to set.

While Jared appreciated that everyone pitched in to make things lighter and easier for him, nobody did more to accommodate him than Jensen. Despite looking exhausted from working 14 hour days, Jensen was a consummate worker. Everyone acknowledged it. 

During any break in shooting, Jensen went to Jared’s trailer to check on how Jared was feeling. Jensen kept his guitar in there, and sang to Jared keeping him company during every free minute he had available.

After Jared’s second day on set, Jared and Jensen piled onto a big black SUV and Cliff, their driver, drove them back to their apartments. Jensen followed Jared inside Jared’s apartment, instead of going to his own apartment down the hall.

“I stayed here a few nights when you were in the hospital. You had a lot of food in the house, so I ate most of it and…and I slept in your bed because I missed you, and I wanted to feel close to you.”

Jared felt warmed by Jensen’s confession, but mostly he felt bone tired and achy.

“Can I make you a cup of tea or get you a glass of water Jared?” Jensen asked solicitously.

“I guess water, it’s nice to have a cup by the bed.” Jared sat on his bed and took off his shoes.

“Jay, I want to sleep next to you tonight.” Jensen sat next to Jared on the bed, his face rubbing up against Jared’s sleeved arm, like a cat, sniffing Jared’s scent, then warming his face against Jared’s cheek. Jensen’s breathing sounded louder and more rapid.

Jared turned toward Jensen kissing the top of his head. “Jensen, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“I’m not pressuring you Jared, just please explain to me, why not?” Jensen’s passion seemed to be rising as he placed kisses on Jared’s neck.

“Because I’m still not healthy. I feel tired, and I’m embarrassed that I still have light wound dressings on some parts of my body.”

“Jared, I helped change those dressings in the hospital.”

“Yeah, wearing gloves. And it’s not the hospital. It’s my bedroom, and it’s not sexy to show bandages.”

“Jared you are sexy to me in a potato sack.”

“Jensen, that’s not the only reason. We haven’t had our first date yet.  It takes time to develop the intimate part of the relationship. I want to wait. I’m looking forward to that.”

“Jared, I know you and Leslie slept together in your bed. And now you’re saying no to me.”

“Not pressuring me?”

“We are grown-ups Jared. There is no reason for false modesty.”

“Do not press me about this Jensen. I was not bandaged when I was in bed with Leslie. I want to have positive memories of our first night in the same bed together, not to feel like your patient. It’s not sexy for me. Plus you know I have to officially break up with Leslie, he thinks we are still a couple.”

“Okay, okay I understand. I don’t want to pressure you or be that guy. I’m just eager is all.”

Jensen put his nose against Jared’s scalp and breathed in his scent. He gently placed his fingers on Jared’s chin, and turned it toward his, and softly kissed Jared’s lips. Jared’s eyes were closed and his lips pursed.

“My sweet girl,” Jensen whispered to Jared, nosing Jared’s neck and taking a deep breath in. “Can I call you my girl? Do you like that?”

“Yes, I like to be yours, and I like the idea of you taking care of me.” Jared smiled looking warmly at Jensen, the new Jensen, the one who wanted to sleep in his bed, and call him girl, and kiss him on the lips.

“I’ll see you in the morning then,” Jensen said pulling himself away.

“Yes Jensen. Thank you.”

Jensen got up and walked to the door.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

 

Chapter Text

 

 

“I’ll see you Sunday then,” Jared said as he ended the call with Leslie.

It was all set. Jared booked himself on a 7:20 a.m. flight from Vancouver to Seattle to meet Leslie for the unenviable task of breaking up with him. The flight from Vancouver to Seattle would only be 55 minutes. Jared was glad he wouldn’t have to go all the way to Texas to do this. As chance would have it, Leslie and his business partner, Brian Stone, were planning to be in Seattle for a business meeting with Amazon.

Jared was in need of a reason to offer Leslie for not making an overnight visit to the nearby city, so he told Leslie that shooting was wrapping late Saturday night and his only option was to visit for the day on Sunday.

Against Jared’s wishes, Jensen insisted on coming along. It just added stress to the whole situation. Jensen planned to check into a room at the Seattle Fairmont Olympic Hotel and wait for Jared to “go through with it.”

Dreading delivering the news to Leslie, Jared bit his nails so badly that they were raw and bleeding.

After a sleepless night, Jared got up before the alarm. He tried to dissuade Jensen from tagging along without success.

Since his accident, Jared was still taking it easy. Not yet back in the gym, his exercise was restricted to physical therapy. The lack of exercise and some lingering pain from hid accident contributed to Jared’s general feeling of malaise. With the pressure of the break-up, something Jared would do just about anything to avoid, Jared found himself feeling a bit depressed.

At 5:30 a.m. Jared set off with Jensen to the Vancouver airport. Jared felt like Jensen was law enforcement ensuring that Jared carried out his sentence. While Jared dreaded the meeting with Leslie, Jensen made it clear that it couldn’t come fast enough for his liking.

“A few hours until you’re mine,” Jensen said.

Jared couldn’t help but smile at that. Jensen was possessive, and perhaps it wasn’t healthy, but nonetheless, Jared was very flattered to feel so wanted by Jensen. Jared relaxed slightly for the rest of the short flight.

The airport in Seattle was quiet, and the hotel was a short cab ride away.  They checked into the Fairmont Olympic Hotel, a 5-star hotel with a pool and a spa and several restaurants where Jared hoped Jensen could happily distract himself eating, watching sports, napping or getting a massage while Jared met with Leslie. There was even a swimming pool in the hotel if Jensen felt so inclined.

Jensen stated that he wanted to come with Jared to meet Leslie to ensure Leslie would not receive so much as a handshake from Jared.

“Jensen give it a rest.”

Jensen was completely unreasonable, and it was impossible to discuss the subject of Leslie rationally with him.

“Jensen just watch a football game on TV until I get back.”

Jared planned to meet Leslie for breakfast at 10 a.m. at the Four Seasons Hotel, where they could talk quietly.

“I’m texting you promptly at 11, and if you’re not done by then, I’m coming after you,” Jensen announced.

“Jensen, I think it will take longer. Better allow 2 hours, until noon.”

“I don’t know Jared, that’s long enough for you two to get a room. Maybe you should meet him at a restaurant.” 

“Jensen, there will be no getting of any room. Just chill. I will text you right before and right after.”

Pacing the room, Jensen kept his eyes on Jared.

“Watch sports or something will you Jensen?” Jared grabbed the remote and turned on Sunday football. “There’s a game on the east coast at this time. That should keep you interested.”

Jensen did get lured in tepidly to the football game displayed on the TV.

“Where is the room service menu?” Food and football made a good pairing. “And don’t offer to be his friend, none of this supporting each other shit.” Jensen seemed to be settling in.

Eyes rolling, Jared went into the bathroom, brushed and flossed his teeth, and put on a tiny drop of cologne. He checked his appearance and prepared to leave.

“Do you have to be so clean for him?”

“God you’re exasperating! I’m doing this for you.”

“For us,” Jensen replied. “For us.”

“See you in two hours or less.”

Jared walked the five blocks to the Four Seasons.  Upon arriving fifteen minutes early, he took the elevator to the rooftop, to the restaurant where brunch was being served. Jared felt nervous and excited at the prospect of seeing Leslie.

The Goldfinch Tavern was a smart, sophisticated restaurant, just like Leslie. In early September, the Seattle summer sun graced the bay and cast bright light across the beautiful blue skies, shining brightly through the floor to ceiling windows.

Jared chose a private table in the corner close to the window. While waiting, Jared wiped his moist palms on his pant legs, and took a few deep breaths, breathing out slowly.

Leslie breezed in looking positively glowing in his pinkish purple, jewel-toned dress shirt and designer shades, a suntan, and summer blond locks. He liked like a fashion model, that’s right he used to be a fashion model.   

Jared stood to greet him. Leslie took off his sunglasses and Jared could then see his pretty blue eyes. He hugged Jared carefully. Jared was still being treated like glass by everyone since his accident, and Leslie was no exception.

“You look great, as always!” Jared offered genuinely.

And he did. Leslie looked fantastic. He took off his sunglasses flashing his pretty blue eyes. His shirt fit his lean, muscular chest, arms, and stomach like wallpaper. Whatever scent he was wearing was so subtle and alluring, Jared felt himself drawn to breathe in his scent when they hugged.

Leslie’s bright blue eyes glimmered as the sun reflected off them, which also reflected off his white teeth.

“You look positively radiant,” Jared commented.

“Just came from working out. I feel like a million bucks.”

“I’m so glad,” Jared meant it.

“Thank you, Jared. How are you healing up?”

“I’m still a bit wilted. I get to sit around a lot on set, moving minimally, and using stunt and body doubles, while everyone else has all the fun.”

“I was so worried about you Jared. I’m glad to see you up and around.”

“I’m getting there. I don’t wear bandages anymore, but I’ve got some pretty ugly scabs on my body in various stages of falling off, and scars. Enough about that, how was your meeting with Amazon?”

“Fantastic really. Amazon invited us up to discuss data and analytics in the luxury goods market. Their partnering with high end brands has been persistently unsuccessful.”

“Do they want to hire your agency?”

“They would like to buy our data, but we don’t sell our customer data. We offered to perform analytics on their data, and help them manage their ad campaigns according to what the data tells us.”

“Did they go for that?”

“No, they want the Nieman Marcus data so they can figure out how to crack the luxury market. We won’t sell it. That would be unethical and a conflict of interest.”

“So, you didn’t get any business out of it?”

“Nieman’s was so rattled by Amazon’s interest in us that they made us an offer to buy 60% of King & Stone Digital Media for $6 million dollars. That’s $3 million for my partner Brian, and $3 million for me. It values the company at a total of $10 million. Plus, we stay in our roles as partial owners.”

“Holy shit, Leslie, that’s fantastic!” Jared was flabbergasted at Leslie’s good fortune. As they spoke, he got the distinct impression that Leslie had not been sitting around pining for him.

“Nieman’s will have the controlling voting power, so they can decide who we take as a client, none of their competitors obviously.”

“Is there anything to think about?”

“No, it’s basically a done deal.”

“My God Leslie, congratulations! It seems we have something to celebrate!”

“It seems we do.”

Leslie ordered a bottle of Dom Perignon Champagne, and eggs Benedict.

Jared ordered steak and eggs.

“Cheers! A toast to you Leslie. You never cease to amaze me with your talent, hard work, intelligence, and quiet success. You’re so modest you never brag. I really admire you for that.”

“Thank you, Jared. It’s a dream come true. I never thought when I started this business that I would sell an interest for millions of dollars, and continue to do what I love as a co-owner.”

“You’re a great talent. What do you plan to do with the money?”

“Don’t know yet, take a few more vacations, I was hoping with you Jared.” Leslie paused. “But somehow an urgent 10 a.m. breakfast meeting, at a hotel neither one of us is staying at, doesn’t send a romantic message.”

“Yeah, I know. Sorry. I know I’ve been quiet for the past few weeks. I have some major news about me, and it impacts our relationship.”

“Let’s hear it then” Leslie was very calm. His tone was surprisingly neutral.

Jared looked down. He worried his right thumb in his left palm as he spoke.

“Well to start, I was not entirely honest with you about my feelings for Jensen. I hid them from you, and from him, from everyone. I’m scarcely out of the closet Leslie, as you know. Anyway, I secretly carried a torch for Jensen last year, which secret I believed was pointless to share anyway, since Jensen always presented as hetero.”

Jared looked up at Leslie’s face, took a breath and continued.   

“I was depressed. I had it pretty bad for him. I was in therapy, still am. That’s when I met you. I cared for you, still care for you.”

Jared looked up at Leslie again. Looking for forgiveness. He continued…

“For some reason, God saw fit for Jensen to realize and declare that he loved me. This was after meeting you, when I was in the hospital. I know you think he is a crazy person, but I love him Leslie, and I want to give a relationship with Jensen a chance.”

Jared looked up at Leslie waiting for him to speak.

“Jared, it was obvious to me, within a short time of meeting Jensen, that he wanted you for himself. It was beyond normal for him to be so hostile toward me. Jensen pretty much ran me out of town. I got his message loud and clear.” 

“Jensen does go a little crazy when he wants something. You seem so unaffected by my news. Were you planning to give me up because of him?”

“I would not return to Canada with that powder keg parked down the hall. I’m too wise to put myself in a position to be a rival suitor of Jensen Ackles. Whether or not he won you, he was determined to eliminate me from the picture.”

“He’s possessive, I know.”

“Ya think? How about he’s a lunatic! He is too unpredictable and volatile of a personality for me to risk being around.”  

“I guess it would be too intense for some people, but the truth is, I’m emotionally needy. I can be high maintenance in a relationship. And Jensen needs to be needed. So, in a way we are well matched.”

“Jared, you’re special, you could have anyone you want. I want to be that person. But you say you love Jensen. In his letter to me, he wrote that he loved you, and wanted a relationship with you. You practically live together. There’s not much room for me.”

“Thank you for understanding, Leslie. I want to say somethings to you, that my relationship with you meant a lot to me. You taught me so much. You affected me in such a positive way. Look, I’m wearing the First-Love-Yourself bracelet you gave me. I wear it all the time when I’m not shooting.”

“I saw it. I hope it reminds you of me, and my fondness for you. We were happy Jared. We shared good times together. I could have gone the distance with you, but we had challenges. I’m a little older. Your career is taking off like a rocket. You’re in Canada. I’m rooted in Austin with my business. I want to settle down. I’m ready for an exclusive, committed relationship with someone looking to settle down too.”

“Obviously the distance is an issue. There is more I want to say to you, to thank you for Leslie. I want to tell you, you taught me about sex, and gave me experiences that I wanted and needed. And I really appreciate it.” It was hard for Jared to say, but he felt he owed a lot to Leslie for helping him through a major rough patch in his life.  A tear trickled down Jared’s cheek as he recalled their lovemaking in Leslie’s bedroom in the loft.

“I know Jared.”

“I was so lonely. You cared for me. You fed me. You gave me love when I really needed it. Our relationship will always mean a great deal to me.”

“You’re not changing your mind now, are you Jared?”

“I’m sorry Leslie. I’m very sorry.”

“I never doubted your sincerity Jared. I doubted our relationship would last, but I never doubted your heart.”

Jared sat through lunch feeling deflated. He really did have a lot to thank Leslie for. He didn’t see the justice in the situation. Leslie made him happy, something he seldom experienced since he had so few romantic relationships in his like. Now Jared would have Jensen. The object of his affection, his heart’s desire. He hoped the reality would live up to the fantasy. Jared knew his tendency for melancholia. And Leslie made him genuinely happy. He hoped it could be the same with Jensen.

Jared walked the five blocks back to the Fairmont Olympic Hotel, reflecting on the conversation with Leslie.

Leslie’s love was a liberating love. Jensen’s love was a constricting love. Jared could see the contrast. He never had options before.

I hope I am doing the right thing.

Jared returned to the Fairmont. Jensen was waiting and eager to hear what happened.

“How did it go?”

At the sight of Jensen, waterworks streamed down Jared’s cheeks. He put his arms around Jensen, resting his head on Jensen’s shoulder.

“Come, sit on the bed.”

Jared took off his shirt, unconcerned right now with the ugly appearance of his scars and scabs. He pulled off his jeans and got down to his boxers.

“I just want to sleep a while. I need to rest after that. I feel drained.”

Jared climbed under the lofty coverlet on the King size bed, and rested his heavy head on the pillow.

Jensen nestled in next to Jared.

“Tell me what’s wrong Jay.”

“I’m tired, I’m so tired. I had to do something mean to someone who was nice to me. It’s weighing heavily on my heart.”

“How did he take it?”

“He took it great. He was very mature about it. He said you ran him off, and he didn’t want to be your rival, and he was never planning on coming back to Canada. Essentially, you already broke us up. He was quite unaffected by the whole thing.”

“What’s got you down Jared?”

“I guess I expected he would be more upset at the loss of me. Yet I feel more loss. I was bereft after season one, really down in the dumps. I was so in love with you to the point of pain. You didn’t know my secret.”

“I’m here now Jared.” Jensen rubbed his open palm over Jared’s bare back.

“I went to so much therapy trying to figure out how to be happy, and then I met Leslie, and he gave me a measure of happiness.”

Jensen rubbed his hand through Jared’s hair.

“I’m here for you now.”

“No one ever loved me before. And I sent him away. It feels mean.”

All Jared’s heartache came out through his eyes in the form of tears.

“I love you Jared. And you said you love me. And I’m here now loving you, right now. We are gonna be okay.”  

Jensen continued to stroke Jared’s hair, and to rub a light hand down Jared’s silky soft, tanned back.

“Please hold me. Can we just sleep for a little while, while you hold me?”

“Yes, Jared. I’m here baby. I’m here for you. I’m right here.”

Chapter Text

 

Jensen feigned patience all week. Patience, patience. Maybe it wasn’t so much faking it as it was actually developing patience he pondered.  

All week, he refrained from pressing Jared to take their relationship to the next level physically. Tonight, finally, Jared suggested they hang out at his place and make out. Just as Jensen hoped, Jared took the lead. A horny 23 year old could only hold out for so long.

Jensen toweled off post shower at his apartment. He brushed and flossed his teeth, and rinsed with mouthwash, wanting to have the freshest kissing breath possible. Jensen changed the blade in his razor, dispensed some shaving cream into his palm, lathered his face, and began the closest shave he could possibly give himself. Soon that cheek would be smoothing against Jared’s baby soft skin.

Everybody’s working for the weekend” Jensen sang.

Down the hall, Jared was shaving his legs and underarms in the shower, happy his scabs were finally gone, and his new skin felt soft as a baby's. He shampooed and conditioned his hair, lathering his arms and legs, smiling, soaping his body, wanting to be clean, soft, smooth and good smelling for Jensen tonight.

Could it be I’m falling in love with you baby, could it be I’m falling in love with you baby, could it be I’m falling in love, with you, with you, with you ooh ooh ooh ooh” Jared sang.

Standing in front of his mirror in his closet, admiring his long-legged body, Jared selected a pair of denim, daisy duke, cut-off shorts. He paired them with a sleeveless, white shirt that buttoned down the front, cropped. The shirt scarcely met the top of Jared’s shorts. Jared was in the mood to be sexy tonight for Jensen.

Jared rubbed body lotion on his arms, hands, elbows and feet, so he would be soft and smooth for Jensen. He dabbed a tiny drop of cologne on the back of his neck, right in the center, to be very subtle. Then he blew his hair out smooth and shiny with the hair dryer.

Jared didn’t bother with shoes. He walked to the kitchen, took out two wine glasses and a bottle of white wine from the fridge.

Then Jared turned on the music playing the erotic/best 100 lovemaking songs playlist he found online. 

The mood is set.

The doorbell rang. Jensen never usually bothered with the doorbell.

Outside the door, Jensen breathed nervously into his palm, checking his breath.....

"Jen! Come in," said Jared, opening the door.

“WOWZA!” Jensen’s eyes popped out, and his jaw dropped at the sight of Jared in a pair of daisy dukes, and a white sleeveless cotton shirt, buttoned down the front, stopping just above the line of his shorts. Walking into the apartment, Jensen muttered, “I think my sister has that shirt”

“Mine too. I get a lot of inspiration from her closet…. Come in, I have white wine”

“Sure,” Jensen followed Jared into the kitchen admiring his ass in those shorts. 

Jared uncorked a bottle of chilled Puligny Montrachet, it had been recommended to him at the wine shop when Jared wanted to pick up a really special bottle for tonight. Jared poured out 2 stemmed wine glasses half full, handing one to Jensen grinning proudly.

Jensen took the glass in his right hand, fingers spreading open to receive the stem between his index and middle fingers, palm up, cupping the bowl of the wine glass in his palm, and touching Jared’s fingers as they receded from the glass. Eyes on Jared’s fingers, Jensen shifted his gaze to Jared’s eyes, intensely staring. Feeling suddenly shy, Jared’s eyes darted away swiftly.

Jensen stepped one foot closer to Jared, moving into his space, not letting up on his eye contact.

“Shall we sit on the sofa?” Jared asked, buying himself a few feet of space as he walked from the kitchen nervously.

“Definitely,” answered Jensen, following in close proximity to Jared to the living room.

"Nice shorts"

"Thank you"

“I didn’t think the weather called for it, but it’s a pleasant surprise in wardrobe choice”

“All for you,” Jared replied flirtatiously eager and afraid at the same time.

Jensen wore his usual casual attire of jeans and a tee shirt, but body fitting. Jensen had a really great chest and nice arms and biceps. He didn’t wear a belt Jared noticed and wondered if that was a choice Jensen made so he would have an easier time getting his pants off in case things went that way.

“Mind if I take off my cowboy boots?” asked Jensen.

"No, of course not, please make yourself at home."

Jensen placed his boots behind the sofa.

Jared sat on the sofa assuming a feminine pose by sitting with his beautiful bare legs crossed daintily, extended partially on the sofa, partially off, but creating a bit of distance so that Jensen had to sit a few feet away from Jared on the sofa to accommodate his length of leg.   

Jared observes as Jensen’s eyes feasted up and down the silky exposed skin of Jared’s legs.

"How’s are you enjoying the wine?" Jared inquired.

"Huh? Oh I didn’t try it yet."

"Take a sip. I selected it especially for tonight. I hope you like it."

"I do like it. It’s lovely Jared, thank you."

"I put out some marcona almonds and mixed olives so we could have a little nibble with our wine. I can put out some cheese and crackers if you would like"

"Thank you, Jared, but I’m not hungry. In fact, food is the last thing on my mind. You on the other hand look delicious, good enough to eat.”

Jared pinked up at the remark, smiling coyly, loving every minute of it, acting demurely.

“I like the music,” Jensen said, sliding a foot closer to Jared on the sofa.

"Thank you, it’s a playlist I found online."

“What’s the name of it?”

“um, erotic playlist,” replied Jared

“Jared, you clever girl” Jensen moved closer to Jared pushing Jared’s legs off the sofa and sitting up against him.

Jared smiled coquettishly as the heat from Jensen’s thigh registered against Jared’s unclothed thigh.

Jensen nosed his neck, inhaling through his nose, inhaling Jared’s scent, discovering layers of scents of shampoo, subtle cologne, and soap, and Jared’s singularly wonderful smell.

“I like the way you smell Jared” Jensen took a deep inhale through his nose with his nose right up against Jared’s scalp smelling right into his hair.

Jensen’s arms encircled Jared. He leaned into Jared’s neck, still inhaling his exclusive scent. He then kissed Jared’s neck,  burrowed into the space between Jared’s chin and shoulder, attended to Jared’s long exposed neck, kissed along Jared’s neck and licked it, his hot tongue traveled to Jared’s ear lobe on which he tugged with his teeth, and covered Jared’s whole ear with mouth, licking it and breathing hot air into it.

Jared squirmed with pleasure under Jensen’s grip. Held in place by Jensen’s strong arms around him, he melted under Jensen’s molten hot breath on his neck and ear. His neck and ear were wet in the most deliciously disgusting way full of Jensen’s saliva. The more Jared squirmed, the tighter Jensen gripped him until Jared capitulated to the torturous licking and kissing and slid down on the sofa into a laying down position.

Jensen opened his mouth and sucked a good size chunk of flesh of Jared’s neck, digging right in where Jared’s neck and shoulder met.

Coming up for air, Jensen looked at Jared’s face, which was flushed with blood, his eye lids heavy, pupils enlarged. Jared’s breaths were heavy.

I’m too hot I need to take my shirt off, okay? Jensen asked.

Okay Jared answered weakly

Jensen wasn’t waiting for a reply and pilled his shirt over his head, barely stopping what he was doing

Jared watched Jensen take his shirt off. It was nothing Jared hadn’t seen before on set, but never in this context. Jared’s eyes drew to the soft flesh below Jensen’s belly button. It was white and not tanned. It looked virgin soft and there was some peach fuzz there. Jared wanted to touch there, but dared not for fear of what this would escalate into.  

Jensen, like a lion from the wild, all instinct, kept his mouth busy, planted his plump, bowed lips squarely on Jared’s soft, pretty, pink lips.

Jared felt the force field between their two bodies grow stronger fed by their body heat and pent up energy, and the sex drive of two twenty something year old boys.

Their fleshy lips met, flattening against each other’s. Breaking, breathing and joining again, another kiss came directly after the first.

On the next breath, Jensen opened his mouth, used his tongue to gain entry into Jared’s mouth. Jared yielded opening his for him, feeling hot tremors throughout his body.

They lay on the couch, Jared, a willing prisoner, pinned against the back of the couch by Jensen’s firm body. Intoxicated by the heat from Jensen’s body and his throbbing cock between his legs, Jared was all senses and no rationality now. He let Jensen lead as he happily complied with the demands of Jensen’s lips.

Jared’s hands gripped Jensen’s upper arms, holding on to his biceps, indulging in the privilege of openly touching Jensen and enjoying his beauty and masculinity.

Jensen held the back of Jared’s head with one hand, while the other coasted, palm flat, along the silky flesh of Jared’s endless legs.

“Your legs are so smooth” Jensen spoke directly to Jared’s eyes, Uuuuhhhh Jensen moaned as he grinded his hard member into Jared’s crotch. Jared could feel Jensen’s hardness rub against his. Jensen persisted, grinding, moaning and hastened his pace.

Jared was awake but transported into a state of blissful arousal in which his only awareness was heat and touching and pressure where Jensen was grinding into him.

“Jared,” Jensen spoke in Jared’s ear.

“Yes Jared answered dreamily”

“Can I take your shirt off?”

“You want to go to second base with me?” Jared asked momentously.

“Yes, Jared, Yes”

Jared felt so wanted. “Okay you can unbutton my shirt.” He replied girlishly, but he wanted nothing more than he wanted to be undressed by Jensen right now.

Jensen, quickly unbuttoned the three buttons on the front of Jared’s shirt, and opened the shirt exposing Jared’s chest and nipples.

Jared saw Jensen’s eyes flash with desire at the site of Jared’s naked mile long chest and torso on display. Jared felt his aroused penis leaking fluid.

Jensen touched Jared’s chest with his open palms, fixing his eyes on Jared’s bare chest, drinking in his beauty. Jared opened his chest to Jensen bashfully, and Jensen licked Jared’s chest relishing this private audience with Jared.  

Jensen, latched his mouth on to Jared’s nipple while drinking the sight of him with his eyes. Thumbing the nipple to hardness and sucking it, Jared’s chest and neck were flushed as was his face, burning red.

Jensen took his fill, sucking both nipples, and feeling up Jared’s chest, his big pectoral muscles like beautiful breasts, stoking Jensen’s desire by never letting any space grow between their bodies.

Jensen turned on his back, pulling Jared on top of him.

“I want to feel your back too.” Jensen fully removed Jared’s blouse and tossed it on the floor.

Jensen widened his legs, slotting Jared in between them, their cocks lined up, and Jensen’s hips undulated unabashedly pressing greedily into Jared’s pelvis and hard cock. Jensen’s large hands, open, covered the terrain of Jared’s back, while their chests communicated flesh to flesh.

Jared was drunk with desire. The months upon months of dreaming and fantasizing about Jensen, his lips, his touch, could never rise to the dizzying reality of Jensen’s hips, searing lips and hot tongue consuming Jared like a buffet.

Jared was rock hard in his shorts, his dick leaking cum. He would spread his legs for Jensen tonight if he asked.

“Not a hair on your body Jared”

“Took it off for you”                   

“That’s my girl,” Jensen said, and Jared really liked hearing it during their sexy time. Jared wanted to embody everything that Jensen desired sexually. It was their intimate secret and only Jensen knew him or could see him this way. It was just theirs.

“Only you can call me that”

“I know,” Jensen chuckled without interrupting what he was doing, as if he could stop if he tried.

Jared felt Jensen grip his butt cheeks hard and low, where the cheeks met the thigh. He squeezed. He slipped his fingers under Jared’s shorts, going in through the bottom, stealing a feel of Jared’s naked ass.

Jensen grunted. He ground himself into Jared and used Jared’s thigh as a lever to pull himself up against.

“Baby, you’re so hot,” he told Jared. He palmed Jared's inner thighs, dangerously close to the bottom of his cut off shorts. 

Ask me, just ask me, Jared silently begged for more.

“Jared second base, right?”

“Yes, like we agreed,” Jared replied, close to begging Jensen to fuck him, and sorry for ever setting that boundary. If Jensen would ask again, Jared would urge him on, but he was embarrassed after making such a big deal about taking their physical relationship slowly.

“You okay with what we’re doing?”

“Yes Jensen” Jared answered out of breath from humping Jensen so hard.

“I want you to come for me okay? I want to see your beautiful face when you come for me? Can you get off this way?”

“Yes,” Jared replied.

Jensen pulled Jared’s hips down against him. Both Jensen’s palms pressed on Jared’s ass, through his shorts. Jensen lined up their cocks up, and rubbed them together, raising his own hips, rubbing his hard cock against Jared’s.

Jared spread his legs so wide so they were outside Jensen’s and he put all his weight into his hips. He rubbed his pelvis against Jensen’s with determination.

“Kiss me,” Jensen commanded.

They sucked each other’s mouths and lips on their ascent. Their hips moved wildly.

Jared moaned on every thrust now.

“I want to see your face,” Jensen said.

Jared seized, his back arched, hips ground against Jensen, face up, head back, eyes closed.

“Ah, Jeeehn-seeeehn” Jared squealed.

Jensen looked up at Jared as Jared trembled from head to toe.

Jared felt hot cum spurt into his shorts in pulses, wetting him, relieving him.

Jensen broke into a huge, proud looking grin, and canted his hips into Jared’s hip bone a few more times. Watching Jared’s expression while he climaxed, Jensen lost it.

Jensen quaked against Jared, as Jared watched him cross over into the realm of utter helplessness, helpless to do anything but succumb to the sublime orgasm shaking his whole body.

“Jared, Jared, my Jared,” he called to him. He wrapped his arms around him, securing Jared on top of him. They drifted off to sleep in a post orgasmic haze.

Chapter Text

J2

 

Jared got the script for the season two episode, Heart, with guest star Emmanuelle Vaugier playing Madison, a werewolf. Jared thought Emmanuelle was the most gorgeous girl they filmed with so far on Supernatural, with bulging eyes, pouty lips, hair, an envious woman would kill for, and an off-the-charts, rockin’ hot body.

Jared went to hair and make-up where they prepped him to look boyishly handsome shaving him of any sign or shadow of whiskers, combing shaggy brown bangs forward into his eyes, and curling the long layers of hair on his crown into little flips and flipping up the hair around his ears. They whitened his teeth to a bright gleam.

Tricia stood proudly back admiring her work. “You are one tall, sexy, drink of water!

Jared proceeded to wardrobe for his costume fitting where he found Jensen and Chrisophe, the costume designer. Jensen looked hot his hair was just cut short on the sides and spiky on top.

“Take off your shirt” Christophe told Jared in a friendly, familiar tone. “I have your first costume, it’s a white T-shirt, brown V neck sweater, and an olive drab jacket with big chest pockets.”

Jared took his shirt off handing it to Christophe feeling all the eyes in the room upon him.

“A gay man’s dream come true,” Christophe spoke without inhibition.

Just then Jared caught Jensen cast a cutting glance at Christophe.

“Before you try that on Jared, see if this shirt fits you - it’s for one of your scenes with Emmanuelle.”

He handed Jared a brown and white striped, long-sleeve shirt with snaps down the front and pockets on the chest.

Jared tried it on.

“I got this” Christophe began fastening the snaps on the front of Jared’s shirt, while gazing into his eyes and smiling. Christophe smoothed the front of Jared’s shirt down with his palm ensuring the chest pockets were snapped and rested flat.

“For God’s sake Christophe, he can fasten his own snaps. Why don’t you keep your hands to yourself?” Jensen remarked with edge.

Oh my God, Jared thought to himself, did that just happen?

Christophe froze and looked up at Jared with a surprised expression seemingly seeking his protection from Jensen’s surprising barb.

“Christophe, give us a minute,” Jared gestered his head toward the door of the trailer, and Christophe showed himself out.

“Seriously Jensen, what the hell? You hurt his feelings”

“I hurt his feelings? His hands were all over you. ‘a gay man’s dream come true’” Jensen mocked repeating Christophe’s words in a mimicking voice. “Fuck him Jared, I can’t believe they pay him to stand around touching you all day. That’s not work for him, he’s getting his jollies.”

“Jensen I have a scene to film with Emmanuelle. We should definitely talk about this later.” With that,  Jared left the wardrobe trailer to go to set, and made a mental note to remember to make things up to Christophe somehow.

***

Jensen stared at Jared, fighting the urge to push Jared’s hair out of his eyes. He sought any excuse to touch him, yet resisted in front of the cast and crew. Jensen’s eyes sought Jared’s or vice versa, hundreds of times per day. Jensen stared longer while Jared abashedly looked away with a shy grin, sharing their little secret, their secret love.

“Doesn’t your hair falling in your eyes bother you?”

“No,” Jared swiped his fingers across his forehead, “I’m used to it. Jeannie told me girls find it sexy, and I’m not allowed to cut it.  She cuts it to my eyebrows, just long enough so that it doesn’t poke me in the eyes.”

“I love your hair, the little curls around your ears, it’s very sexy.” Jensen enjoyed watching Jared blush. It was so easy to make him blush, just give him a compliment especially one that included the word sexy.

“Ummm, thanks,’ Jared answered sheepishly, “it’s supposed to make me look young, like the baby brother.”

“Well baby brother, I can’t wait to rake my fingers through it later when I get you alone, pull your head back by your hair, and kiss you on that sexy mouth of yours,” Jensen leaned in so as not to be overheard.

Jared not only blushed, but froze in place in reaction to Jensen’s suggestive flirtations on set.

“Jensen you take so many risks flirting on set.”

“Ah no I don’t, no one would believe it. They don’t even know you’re gay.” Jensen looked over his shoulder, and when no one was looking he reached out and moved Jared’s bangs out of his eyes, fixed his eyes on Jared’s, and trailed his finger behind Jared’s ear, down his neck, drawing a line down the center of his chest, and continued below the waist and over the fly of Jared’s jeans.

Jared’s body jolted at Jensen’s touch, “Jensen,” Jared whispered urgently, eyes bulging. He looked down at his crotch to see if his arousal could be seen by anyone through his jeans.

“What’cha lookin’ at, huh Jay? Have I got you hot and bothered?”

“Jensen, yes. I’m hard”

“Uh God,” Jensen choked out, “what I want to do to you right now. I’d like to put my hand right on you.” Jensen grazed his palm over Jared’s fly.

“Jensen, cut it out, someone’s gonna see us.”

“That only makes it more exciting.” Whispering hot breath into Jared’s ear, “I want to rub my cock against yours.”

Pulling his collar away from his neck, as if it was suddenly restricting his blood flow, Jared lifted his t-shirt collar and blew air down the front of his shirt. “It’s getting hot in here.”

“I wanna see what’s under those clothes, get you naked, throw you on the bed, and maul you,” Jensen continued.

“Jensen, someone’s gonna hear you, or worse, see me like this.” Jared looked down at his crotch.

“Like how Jared?”

“You know”

“Say it Jared”

“Turned on, okay, I’m turned on, now quit it”

“Only if you promise to come over tonight and make out with me.”

“Okay I promise”

“I want to see that gigantic cock of yours”

“Jensen you said you were stopping,” Jared said while absentmindedly rubbing his cock to go down.

“Don’t do that, that won’t help. Come by tonight, right after shooting your scene with Emmauelle, no matter what time it is.”

“Okay I’ll come over.”

“Good then we have a deal.” Jensen’s eyes bore through Jared like a rabid wolf’s.

***

Jared nervously waited for Emmanuelle in a too cold room. Wardrobe had given him a robe, but once makeup made up his chest to cover any scars from his accident for the sex scenes, he had to keep the robe off. Jared gave himself a pep talk as he was about to do a love scene with a woman. Smile and make eye contact, he coached himself, and breathe.

Jared was relieved that only necessary personnel were allowed on set because of the nudity. He hoped that his homosexuality would not somehow be obvious to anyone or everyone like the camera crew, director, grips, sound technician. He was supposed to be super sexy and super macho. Emmanuelle was ready and joined the set. It was worse for her as Jared saw it. They both got to wear underwear and no top, but topless for a woman was much more revealing. Just as he was feeling like an imposter, Emmanuelle’s eyes met his with a solicitous look.

‘What is it Emmanuelle?”

“You can call me Manny for short, everyone does”

“Okay, Manny it is then.”

“Jared, would you mind just kind of standing in front of me, blocking others’ view of me? I’m pretty modest. I don’t mind if you see my body, but I really don’t want to put on a show for the crew.”

Jared felt so happy and relieved that he now had an important purpose and he could really use it in his acting too. He stood in front of her shielding her from curious eyes. It helped set the intimacy for the scene.

Meanwhile, Jensen really wanted to watch the nude scene, and asked the director, Kim Manners, if he could be on set for it.

“No, Jensen. You know you can’t watch the filming of this scene. Emmanuelle is topless in this scene. The only people allowed on set are those who are strictly necessary.”

“What about Christophe?”

“What about him?”

“Why does wardrobe get to be in there, if the actors aren’t wearing any clothes?”

“Wardrobe is necessary in this situation in case of wardrobe malfunctions for the actress.”

“Well, I think you should have a woman wardrobe specialist in there then,” Jensen replied.

“Christophe is gay Jensen. He doesn’t care about Emmanuelle naked.”

“Maybe he is bisexual. Usually if a woman in the scene is nude, we have a woman doing wardrobe.”

“That is true. Jensen you’re not in the scene, how does this affect you exactly?”

“It affects me because it’s the policy of the show and the network for a woman to be on set if a woman is nude. I insist that we use a female costumer for this scene.”

“Jensen, what’s going on? Did Emmanuelle say something to you?”

“Not in so many words,” Jensen flat out lied letting Kim think Emmanuelle mentioned something to Jensen.

“I don’t think we have a female costumer available Jensen.”

“Get the chick from Smallville. They’re filming one building over on the lot. I don’t think it’s appropriate for Christophe to be sizing Jared for sheer underwear anyway.”

“Did Jared say something to you?”

“Not in so many words,” another lie.

“Jensen, when the star of a show asks for something, we try to make it happen within reason. I would like to have a reason to offer others. I mean you’re not really involved or affected in any way.”

“The reason is that we have too many men on the set of Supernatural, and we want more females to have opportunities to work on set, and this seems like an ideal opportunity to add a female. I mean it is our policy to have a woman in this situation.”

“Okay Jensen. I’m going to do this because you’re pressing the issue, but it affects a person’s career, and we can’t discriminate, so if this is about you being homophobic…”

Jensen knew that Leslie himself was gay, “No, I am not, it’s not that at all.”

“Well if anyone asks why Christophe was replaced, I am going to refer them to you.”

“Thank you Kim”

***

That night after filming Jared went to Jensen’s apartment and knocked on the door.

A shirtless Jensen opened the door.

Whoa, Jared was distracted by Jensen’s taut stomach muscles and the low hang of his jeans. 

“Hey come on in. I been waitin’ for ya,” Jensen said while drying his wet hair with a towel.

Stepping inside Jared asked, “Jensen, what did you do?”

“What?” Jensen replied.

“Christophe was in tears on set tonight, and now we have a new wardrober, Diane from Smallville.”

“I heard about that. If you ask me, it was the right thing to do for Emmanuelle’s nude scene.”

“Jensen, Christophe is a flamer.”

“I think we need more women on set Jared.”

“Having Christophe is like having a woman on set.”

“He’s not a woman Jared, he is, in fact, a man.”

“What is going on here Jensen?”

“’A gay man’s dream come true,’ should not be dressing you Jared!”

“I had no issue with Christophe’s sexuality. He never came on to me.”

“I didn’t want Christophe on set gawking at you naked.”

“Jensen, Christophe is a professional. I did not feel gawked at.”

“Why are you defending him Jared?”

“Defending him? Why are you talking as if we are conducting a criminal trial Jensen?”

“Jared, he is gay and you are gay!”

“Ugh, guilty as charged Jensen…and…so?”

“Jared! First of all, I did not like you giving Christophe a pair of your Saxx underwear so he could fit you for the sheer, nude underwear for tonight’s scene. I don’t want him sniffing your underwear after you take it off, and jerking off thinking about your cock in the underwear.”

“Oh my God, Jensen, you have gone off the deep end!”

“No Jared, I see how Christophe looks at you. I see him altering your trousers, his hand on your ass, his tape measure on your fly.”

“I have a long rise Jensen. All my trousers need alterations.”

“Yeah, to accommodate your long jewels. I am the only man who gets to be on his knees with a hand on your rise Jared.”

Seeing Jensen getting worked up, Jared stepped toward him, opened his arms, “C’mere Jensen,” Jared sad embracing him. “You don’t need to be concerned about Christophe. I’m sorry if something I did caused you to feel jealous or insecure. There’s no reason for it. I only have eyes for you.”

“I didn’t like the way he was so familiar with you in the wardrobe trailer today. He took liberties touching you. I can’t touch you the way he was touching you in public, why should he be able to?”

“Jensen, you know I care for you and Christophe is no threat. You got someone fired today, and it makes you look like a homophobe. Or it makes it look like you’re gay with me, but I don’t think anyone is on to that theory yet.”

“Well you know I am not a homophobe. But I did not want him around you Jared, and I would do it again. You’re my boyfriend Jared, mine. Christophe can fuck off. No other man is going to be pawing your crotch, and sniffing your underwear, not Christophe, not anyone.”

“Oh God Jensen, no one is sniffing my underwear, seriously, chill out!”

“Jared, I feel like you’re not that into us. I want more of you. I’m just not getting enough of you.”

“I’m into us Jensen. I just want to take it slow because this is your first same sex relationship, and I don’t want to dive into an ice-cold pool, finding out three weeks from now that you decided you want to go back to dating women.”

“Jared, I want you, badly.” Jensen kissed Jared on the lips, and pulled Jared’s hips towards his, ground himself against Jared’s pelvis. “Cmon the couch Jared. Let’s lay down side by side. You’re too tall for me standing up. I can’t line myself up with you the way I want to when we’re standing.”

“Jensen I’m bone tired and I have an early call tomorrow to continue the love scenes with Emmanuelle. I’m just going to go back to my apartment and go right to sleep.”

“Unngh, Jared! You are driving me crazy!”

“Gotta go!” Jared kissed Jensen one last time on the lips passionately and quickly slipped out the door, heading down the hall to his own apartment.

 

Chapter Text

 

Operation sleep over, that’s it! It occurred to Jensen while he was tossing and turning in bed. He wanted Jared to sleep over in his bed Saturday night, sex or no sex he at least wanted Jared to share his bed. He decided he would make it happen. Jared wanted a romantic date, Jensen would give him one.

Wednesday morning on set Jensen posed the question, “Jared, will you go out on a date with me this Saturday night?”

“Yes” Jared’s eyes lit up.

“Saturday after shooting breaks, go home, shower and put on something nice to wear, I’m taking you out for a nice dinner. And if you like, we can go listen to a little music afterward.

Jared’s broad smile told Jensen that he was excited for their first official date.

“I will pick you up at 7:30 for an 8:00 dinner reservation.”

Jared’s face indicated his joy, which pleased Jensen.

Jensen was so ready for this date. Finally, a real romantic date with Jared. Nobody else around, just the two of them.

Jensen made reservations at the French restaurant, Le Crocodile. He avoided Italian for obvious reasons, garlic. He planned to do a lot of kissing on this date. He planned to get Jared to his place away from the dogs, where he could create a romantic atmosphere, and enjoy Jared’s full attention, with no distractions. It would be a little getaway for Jared. 

Jensen knew they could both use a little distraction and recreation. They were putting in long hours, working hard on the show, working a grinding schedule, episode after episode, just the two of them as leads, eight days per episode, learning lines, shooting long hours on set. He was aware of how they both looked forward to the weekends, but sometimes they didn’t do much except sleep. Jensen decided he would make this weekend special.

Thinking of Jared, Jensen realized he had to stop treating Jared like one of the guys, taking his companionship for granted, like a buddy. He had to start to think of him like a girlfriend, and start treating him like one. Not that Jared was feminine, because he really wasn’t, but he was sensitive, and a romantic, Jensen was coming to learn. Jensen realized he needed to make an effort to take Jared out on dates, to say romantic things, and to be sensitive to Jared’s needs.

As part of Operation Jared sleeps over, Jensen made an appointment at BARE, a waxing chain started by two gay men in New York City, that specialized in hair removal for men. Jensen noticed how hairless Jared was the last time they were together, and also knew hair and makeup de-haired Jared for his scenes in Heart, so he wanted to get some hair removal too for what he hoped to have this weekend, intimate moments with Jared.

Jensen arrived at reception and approached a young stylish looking male model type. “Hi, I’m Jensen I have an appointment.”

“Good afternoon, what are you here for today?”

“I’ll take the whole package.”

“The whole package?”

“Uh yeah, I mean a want the works. You know like at the car wash. I want the deluxe.”

“Okay then, please follow me to the waxing room to meet your waxing consultant.” Jensen followed the well dressed well coifed male model type to the back of the waxing salon.

“Hello, I am Henri, your waxing consultant,” which he pronounced with a silent H. 

“Hello Henri, I’m Jensen.” Jensen thought Henri was probably gay based on the his mannerisms and the way he looked and talked. It was really interesting to Jensen. He didn’t feel attracted to him, or to any gay man. It didn’t feel the same as being with jared.  Jared didn’t even seem gay to Jensen, just sexy. Jensen felt it was weirdly inexplicable. He just really liked Jared and found him very hot and felt strangly possessive of him.

“What are we doing today Jensen?” Henri asked with a French accent.

“Well I have a date Saturday night, and we might become intimate, so I want to be ready, just in case.”

“Ooh la la, c’est bien! How much do you want off?”

“I want most of it off, but not all because I think that looks too weird not to have any hair at all down there at all.”

“Okay so we take off a good amount, but not all okay, you lay sur la table.”

“Um do I take off my pants?”

“Yes, bien sure.”

“You’re going to stay in the room?”

“Oui, allez, take off your pants.”

“Alright then,” Jensen toed off his sneakers, unfastened his belt, and pulled off his pants. Do I just put them on the chair?”

“Oui, ca va bien, the chair is good, or hang them on the hook on the back of the door, la porte, comme tu prefer.”

Jensen took off his underwear and stuffed them into his jeans pocket. He felt weird just having his underwear on the chair laying out in the open for all to see. The room was a bit cold.

“Okay, commencez, we trim a little with the scissors first, then we wax.” Henri trimmed the hair above Jensen’s penis with a small scissors with a rounded tip. He proceeded to trim the hair on either side of the penis.

Jensen covered his eyes with his forearm as he lay on the table feeling very self-conscious.

“Okay hold your knees to your chest, and spread your legs wide open.”

“What?”

“I’m going to wax your bottom, the sides of your crack, make you nice and smooth.”

“God help me.”

Henri applied the warm wax to Jensen’s butt, let it cool a moment, then tore it off. It was the kind of wax you could rip off without a fabric strip. It just hardened and they pulled the strip of wax right off.  He quickly placed his hand on the waxed skin applying pressure in an effort to make the waxing as painless as possible. 

“See that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“Compared to what? Getting hot wax ripped off my nether regions?”

Henri proceeded to wax the other side, giving Jensen a nice smooth butt.

“Not too hairy, you’re northern European, just cleaning you up down there, smooth for your lover. Now we do your front, right side first. Legs down please.”

Henri applied the wax on Jensen’s soft skin on the right side of his penis.

“Deep breath,” Henri ripped off the wax applying pressure to the area. After waxing both sides, Henri waxed the hair off from the area above Jensen’s penis, but he left a small border on all sides just to give Jensen some feeling of masculinity.

“Next time if you like it, we take off more.”

“Let me get used to this first,” Jensen said looking down at himself. I’m not used to it. I’ve never had so little hair down there. It’s a little weird to me. I will see if my date likes it, if we even get that far.”

“Someone new you’re dating?”

“Yes, and we haven’t really been intimate yet”

“Well you have everything to look forward to then. Let’s look at your chest. Take off your shirt.”

Jensen did as directed.

“Your back is fine, not hairy.”

“Praise God for that!”

“Your chest, what do you want, hair or bare?”

“I don’t know, what do you think?”

“It’s a special treat for your lover to see you bare. Why not go for it? Try it see if your petit chou likes it.”

“Hmm,” Jensen pondered. He really wanted Jared to be turned on. “Okay let’s do it.”

Thirty minutes later Jensen walked out of BARE, feeling excited as his shirt rubbed against his bare chest. He couldn’t wait for Jared to see him naked.

Saturday morning finally arrived. Jensen slept in owing to the fact that shooting ran late…they called it Fraturday, when Friday shooting bled into Saturday morning.

Jensen woke up with purpose. Tonight, was his first real date with Jared and he was looking forward to it. He had a lot to accomplish before the date. Jensen knew he had to clean the apartment. He wanted it clean if Jared slept over. He threw his sheets in the wash hoping they would be soiling them tonight, and headed to the bathroom. He turned on the shower, and while the water heated up, he cleaned the bathroom with Windex and paper towels. Then Jensen stripped off his underwear and jumped in the shower. Jensen shampooed his hair and soaped up with deodorant soap, and quickly emerging from the shower. He was going to the gym anyway, which meant another shower later.

“Alexa, play classic rock.” Bon Jovi started to play.

Jensen moved to the kitchen where there were a few dishes in the sink and a lot of glasses on the kitchen counter. He placed them all in the dishwasher and ran it.

Hmmm breakfast…I’ll grab something at Whole Foods.

Jensen dusted the coffee table and dusted the end table next to the tv. He fluffed the sofa pillows, and wiped down the kitchen counter. The place looked pretty good. He did it all for Jared in preparation for their date. He knew with the chaos of Jared’s dogs that Jared was not a fussy housekeeper, and felt Jared would appreciate a clean apartment for when they would make out after their date….Jensen hoped so.

Jensen could barely wait to be with Jared. He didn’t know where the night would lead, but he knew at least they would go for dinner, then go to a music venue to listen to live music. Then Jensen planned to invite Jared back to his apartment. Jensen was willing to accept whatever physical intimacy Jared was ready for, even if it was just kissing. He knew it would be special. Jensen believed that effort paid off.

Jensen headed off to Whole Foods to pick up some essentials, and grab a coffee and breakfast sandwich. Wine, beer, cheese, crackers, bread, butter, milk, eggs, apples, peanut butter, sausage links, chips, pretzels and guacamole. That should do it for the weeks staples and something to offer Jared tonight if he decides to come over early for a cocktail.

After dropping the groceries back at his apartment, Jensen headed to the gym for a workout for the physical and mental benefits.

Jensen hit the treadmill for 45 minutes and listened to Styx Renegade repeat on his iPhone. They filmed an episode called Nightshifter a few weeks back that featured that song, and Jensen was hooked on listening to it and singing along.

Jensen focused on the upper body machines. He started with seated rows, did some shoulder presses, flys, biceps, triceps, chest press, lat pull downs. Then he went over to the mat area and did sit-ups push-ups and squats. He prepped to be so pumped up for Jared.

In the gym shower, Jensen washed every inch of himself thoroughly with deodorant soap and shampooed his hair.  He wanted to be super clean for Jared. After throwing on some clothes, Jensen drove back to his apartment, it was almost time for his date.

As he drove, he couldn’t help but think about whether tonight would be the night they would go all the way. Jensen wasn’t even sure if Jared was ready to be fully naked with him.

Jensen hoped to have Jared in his bed. He pictured it, the both of them, totally naked for the first time together, lying in bed, kissing, pressing against one another, wanting each other. It made Jensen horny thinking about it. He purposely avoided jacking off for the past 3 days so he could be super horny for Jared tonight.

Jensen climbed out of his car and took the elevator to his apartment. He was bursting with excitement. When he got inside the apartment, he texted Jared, “Want to come over for a drink before we go out to dinner?

“Love to,” came the reply.

Oh Yeah! Jensen thought to himself as he texted Jared, “Say seven?”

“See you then,” came the reply.

Jensen managed to keep it together all day by doing errands, and working out like a maniac, but now he felt nervous. His mouth felt dry, and his stomach felt a little bit like being on the downhill part of a roller coaster.  

Deep breath, he told himself taking a deep inhale.

Shave, I still need to shave, Jensen spoke aloud to himself, and headed off to the bathroom to shave. He used a new razor from the shaving club he belonged to. He took his time, noticed his hand trembling, but he was good nervous he thought, positive stress he called it.

After shaving, Jensen dabbed on some cologne, just a touch.

What to wear. With care, Jensen picked out black underwear. He went with black bikini briefs because his bulge looked bigger. Come and get it Jared.  

He told Jared to dress nicely, so Jensen decided to go with dress slacks, a dress shirt and a sports jacket, specifically, black dress slacks, a white dress shirt, a midnight blue sports jacket, a black belt, and black shoes.

Breathe….as Jensen slipped into his Gucci loafers, he heard a knock at the door. His stomach tensed and he froze at the sound of the knock.

Jensen headed to answer the door. On the way he told Alexa, “play smooth jazz”, setting the mood.

God, Jensen took a deep breath, blew it out slowly, and opened the door.

The sight of Jared towering outside the door elicited a huge grin on Jensen’s face.

Jared stood outside the door just to the left, leaning against the doorframe. Jared’s freshly shaved babyface and white Chiclet teeth, revealed themselves to Jensen through a wide smile.

Jensen enjoyed looking up into Jared’s face. Jared was one of a few humans who was taller than Jensen. Jared looked strikingly handsome, from top to bottom, from his shiny hair, to his lean waist and muscular physique, to his long legs, he was a sight to behold.

And behold Jensen did. His heart grew wings at the sight of Jared dressed so fancy with a crease in his dress pants. Jensen sucked in air through his nose filling his chest and stomach to calm himself, and blew out audibly through his mouth.

“Hi,” Jared offered, smiling.

Jensen remembered to say hello, “Hello Jared, come in.”

Jared’s smile enlarged further as he stepped inside Jensen’s apartment.

Jensen turned to Jared, grabbed his jacket by the lapels, and pulled him in for a kiss.

“You look gorgeous” Jensen kissed Jared’s lips like a hungry child attacked food. “I don’t get to kiss you at work, in public, or often enough.” Jensen kissed Jared a second time on the lips, this time closing his eyes and letting his lips linger on Jared a few seconds longer.

“Mmmm” Jensen hummed after kissing Jared’s soft, delicious lips, while looking into his eyes.

Jared flashed his beaming smile and dimples at the sound of Jensen’s enjoyment.

Jared stood tall, so majestic in height. He wore a pale pink dress shirt, light grey dress slacks, with a blue sport jacket that was a blend of silk and cashmere. It was both soft, because of the cashmere, with a subtle, rich sheen because of the silk thread.

“Very smart looking jacket, Mr. Padalecki.”

“You’re lookin’ pretty good yourself”

“Yeah, I clean up okay. Care for a drink?”

“What have you got?”

“Wine, beer, a cocktail…”

“Beer is a little too filling before dinner, how about a take a finger of bourbon on the rocks?”

“Coming right up”

“Where are we going tonight?”

“Only the best French restaurant in the city, Le Crocodile.”

Jared flashed a smile when he heard Jensen’s choice of restaurant.

“Ah you like that do you?”

“That’s a fancy place, and expensive”

“Only the best for you Jared.”

Between the two of them, the tension was high, they were hyped up like children waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve.

“How was your day Jared? Jensen asked as he poured the bourbon.

“Great, I took the dogs on a long run, shopped, cleaned, slept in a little”

“Sounds a lot like my day.”

“I asked the porter to take the dogs out at 11 tonight, so we don’t have to rush home. We can stay out as late as we want.”

“Great Jared, that’s awesome,” Jensen immediately thought the odds looked good for Jared sleeping over. Yes! thought Jensen.

For two guys who worked together, and knew each other for two years, Jensen found himself uncharacteristically nervous.

Jared stood in the kitchen while Jensen poured the drinks.

“Here you go.” Jensen handed Jared his drink.  

Jared took the glass touching Jensen’s fingers languidly.

“How are you feeling Jared?” Jensen inquired.

“Nervous, excited. I’m looking forward to our evening together, our first real date. Thank you for planning it.” 

“It’s my pleasure Jared. I hope you really enjoy it. I have the feeling we both will. We both deserve a little recreation and rest.  I hope we can get both tonight.”

“I am excited for what’s in store”

“We are going to take Uber tonight, so we can enjoy a cocktail and wine with dinner. I thought if you were up for it, after dinner we could go listen to some live music at Guilt & Company.”

Another broad smile, “That sounds really nice Jensen, I would love that.”

They Ubered to dinner and arrived at Le Crocodile for their 8 pm reservation.

“Right this way Mr. Ackles, your table is ready.”

Once seated at an intimate round table dressed in a fine white linen tablecloth, the waiter welcomed them and gave them large with menus with red leather covers, Jensen advised, “order anything you like Jared. Dinner is on me tonight.”

“Thank you,” Jared gushed, “I like the lavish décor here Jensen, and I appreciate your generosity and thoughtfulness in setting up the evening.”

“It is my pleasure Jared. Your enjoyment of this evening is my heart’s strongest desire.”

When the waiter arrived to tale their order, Jensen deferred to Jared to order first.

“I will have the Grilled Prime Rib with Bordelaise Sauce.”

Jensen ordered, “I would like the Roasted Duck Breast.”

“Very good Messieurs. Will you be having wine with dinner?”

“Yes” Jensen answered, “please bring us a bottle of the Patz and Hall Pinot Noir.”

“Excellent choice Sir” said the waiter as he collected the menus.

Another server brought a wire bread basket to the table with hot French bread and fresh unsalted butter and a ramekin filled with coarse salt.

Shortly after, the Sommelier arrived at the table and presented the wine to Jensen.

“Very nice,” Jensen nodded in approval, and the Sommelier uncorked the wine pouring an ounce of the ruby nectar into Jensen’s glass for tasting.

Jensen held up the glass and swirled the wine in the glass, observing its color and viscosity. He placed his nose in the glass and smelled the wine. Then Jensen sipped the wine, swishing it around in his mouth, and taking in a bit of air in his mouth. Lastly, he swallowed the wine, enjoying the flavor as it washed over the taste buds on the back of his tongue.

“It’s excellent, thank you.”

With that, the Sommelier poured Jensen and Jared each a glass of wine.

“Wow, that was impressive,” Jared leaned in holding up his glass to clink.

“Jared, I would like to propose a toast. I would like to drink to this new phase of our relationship. I can’t wait for what’s to come.” He moved his glass toward Jared to clink.

“To us” Jared chimed as he clinked glasses with Jensen, and took a sip of wine. “It is good. Nice choice Jensen”

“Thank you, Jared.”

Jared took a deep breath, as if to assure himself he was not dreaming, which breath and attitude dis not escape Jensen’s happy observation.

“Have some bread Jared, I know you must be hungry. It’s your usual state of being” Jensen said affectionately.

Jared tore off a piece of the hot baguette, slathered it with butter, sprinkled some coarse salt on it using his thumb and forefinger and popped it in his mouth. “mmmmm” he appreciated.

Jensen also indulged in the bread and butter, “mmmm, I see what you mean.”

Jensen thought the date was going exactly as planned. Jared was enjoying himself on their first formal date. Based on the festive and romantic mood of the evening so far, Jensen felt pretty confident that his designs on Jared, to help him toward his moment  of readiness to spend the night in bed together, could be successful as soon as tonight.  

Jared displayed an ebullient affect. He smiled as if basking in the glow of Jensen’s attentions.

“Are you enjoying yourself Jared?”

“Yes very much so”. You pocked a great restaurant. I’ve never been here. It’s expensive. I’m impressed. Thank you for bringing me here”

“Is it sufficiently romantic for you? You’ve been asking for a romantic first date.”

“Yes, it’s highly romantic,”

“The only thing I would like better is a date that would allow me to sit next to you and put my arm around you. Maybe our next date we can have a romantic picnic, just the two of us, sprawled out on a blanket alone.”

“Sounds like a dream come true.” Jared regarded Jensen, breathed in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“are you nervous Jared?”

“Not nervous just a funny feeling of excitement in my stomach, in a good way.”

“I’m excited too Jared. I am excited for this evening, and for later tonight when we get home because I plan to kiss you from head to toe, if you think you’re ready for that.”

“I’m ready for kissing you. You know that.” Jared’s heart raced into his throat.

“I want to kiss you in places that have never seen daylight  Jared.”

Jared practically started to hyperventilate. “I won’t be able to eat my food if you keep talking like that.”

“you’re absolutely right Jared. Enjoy the meal. This night is all for you. I’ll wait until we finish eating to tell you how much I want to see you naked.”

“Gee that makes me feel much more relaxed,” Jared said with a hint of sarcasm, “and as you know it takes a lot to affect my appetite.”

“Jared you better get used to this feeling. I plan to wine and dine you very often. Now, I insist that you order dessert. They have about 12 desserts on the menu, all irresistible.”

Jared ordered the chocolate crepes with hazelnut mousse filling, warm chocolate, and orange ice cream, and Jensen ordered the crème brulée a l’orange.

“Would les Messieurs care for some cafe?” asked the waiter.

“Yes, a double espresso please” Jensen replied.

“Make it two, thank you,” added Jared.

“Jensen, about later, at your place, can we, um, take it slow?”

“Let’s see, what base are we up to?”

“That would be third base”

“What is third base equivalent to when the sex is between two guys?”

“I suppose it would translate to oral sex probably”

“Well Jared if you want to set a boundary, I will respect it. You know I am eager to take our relationship further physically, but I want you to be ready. It’s no fun for me if I’m forcing you.”

“I appreciate that Jensen. You know I want you as much as you want me. It’s just that I’m irreversibly gay and you may be the reversible kind.

“Ha, ha, ha,” Jensen laughed heartily. “I understand your reservations Jared.  All I can say is time will tell, and I have all the time in the works to wait for you.”

Just then the dessert arrived. “Enjoy your dessert Jared. We can speak of anything you like after the meal. I want nothing to interfere with your enjoyment of it.”

 

 

 

Chapter Text

J2 in suits season 2

 

“C’mon, let’s walk to Guilt & Company, and listen to some music,” Jensen led the way.

A few yards outside the door of the restaurant Jensen pulled Jared into an alleyway between two buildings, “I’ve got to feel you right now after that romantic dinner when I had to keep my hands off you,” Jensen leaned into Jared, pressing Jared’s back against the brick wall.

“mmph,” Jared’s breath pressed out of him with the impact of his back hitting the wall.

One hand slid up Jared’s chest, the other palm slid down Jared’s firm stomach, directly over Jared’s crotch, “oh Jared baby, I want to touch you so badly,  want you so bad Jared.” Jensen kissed Jared with an open mouth.

Jared whimpered at Jensen's touch, his body heat seared an impression into the brick wall as Jensen roused his cock with the friction of his palm.

“Open for me” Jensen said as he covered Jared’s mouth with his, tongue diving inside Jared’s mouth.

 Jared opened his mouth in happy compliance to receive Jensen's kisses.

“That’s right, give me your mouth,” Jensen goaded.

They passionately made out for a long while. Jensen tickled Jared’s balls and palmed his cock through his lightweight dress slacks.

Jared mewed.

Suddenly, Jensen stopped, pulled back, face inches from Jared’s.

“To be continued," jensen said as he pulled his body away. "C'mon, let’s go listen to some music.” Jensen grinned mischievously. “Gotta leave you wanting more.”

Jared’s eyes opened widely in surprise, he gave Jensen a bereft look, as Jensen pulled his body away, taking with it the heat it radiated. Jared cleared his throat, while trying to regain his balance after the stimulating assault on his lips and body.

He accepted the hand Jensen offered to him, and they walked to Guilt and Co. under the dark starry sky to catch the band. 

As soon as they walked a few yards they had to put space between them, thought the night was dark, two men their size holding hands was too conspicuous to any passerby no matter how disinterested, and they couldn't risk being recognized under the light of the intermittent street lamps. 

When they arrived at the music venue, Jensen took the lead walking in first and paid the cover charge for him and Jared.

"Very chivalrous of you," Jared remarked.

They entered the club and found an intimate table for two along the back wall. It was a small round table situated in front of banquet that ran the length of the entire wall, so all people seated in the banquet would be facing the stage. The cocktail waitress came for their order and Jensen offered his credit card to open a bar tab.

"You're seeing to every detail" Jared noted.

Jared ordered a Dizzy Moods from the signature cocktail menu featuring bourbon, and Jensen ordered a Street Fighting Man, featuring scotch.

“Jared, I would like to make a toast. To you. The day I met you was the luckiest day of my life.”

Astonished Jared seemed to lose his words. He shifted in his seat.

"Jensen, you're not usually prone to hyperbole"

"I mean it Jared. I'm not exaggerating. I don't think I've ever cared for anyone in a relationship as much as I care for you."

"You know my love language is verbal affirmation. I like when you say you care for me Jensen."

Jensen squeezed Jared’s leg under the table, and mouthed the words, “I Love You.”

Jensen thought he could see a glimmer of water in Jared's eyes. 

Jared extended his hand under the table and placed it on Jensen’s knee and squeezed hard. He moved closer to Jensen, so their thighs were touching, and leaned his body into Jensen, and he didn’t pull away the entire evening.

Giddy with love, Jensen fussed with his keys to get the apartment door open. Jared entered behind Jensen.

“Hurry open the door.”

“I’m trying the key is sticking. It’s a little difficult to focus with your finger stroking my crack.”

The door sprung open and Jared taped himself to Jensen from behind, bawdily humping himself against Jensen’s ass.

Turning, Jensen grabbed Jared by the lapels and pulled him toward the bedroom, “This way.”

They weren't drunk but were definitely lubricated by the alcohol they drank at the music venue. They managed to arrive at the bedroom, traveling from the front door without allowing an inch of space to grow between them.

Jared ‘s momentum brought him and Jensen onto the bed. Jared fell on top and anchored his arms on either side of Jensen’s upper body, trapping him there.

"I can get used to this," Jensen disclosed between Jared's sequence of kisses to Jensen's lips.

Hovering above Jensen, Jared scraped his hot torpedo against Jensen’s hard hip with purpose. 

Jensen assisted in this endeavor, spreading his legs, lining up his pelvis with Jared’s, lifting his hips, and grinding them against Jared. 

Feeling Jared's hard on and his own hard on rubbing through their pants, Jensen promptly suggested  to Jared,

"Let’s get some of these clothes off.”

To that end, Jensen’s hands began to unfasten Jared’s belt. 

Jared remained in a push up position over Jensen on the bed to give Jensen access to unbelt, unbutton and unzip him. 

Jensen successfully unzipped Jared’s pants, and slid his trousers and Saxx underwear down over Jared’s glorious hips, and released Jared’s cock into the wild.

Jared looked down at himself admiringly when he saw his erect cock and giggled pleased at what he saw.

"You like it too?" Jensen asked rhetorically. "Then it's unanimous. Jared, I want to undress, stand up for me.” Jensen gestured to help Jared to stand.

Jared stood, allowed Jensen to slide off his Jacket. Jensen placed it on the dresser, quickly removed his own jacket and placed it on the dresser too. All the while Jared never released Jensen’s hips.

“Nice jacket Jared, but the rest of this is gonna end up on the floor.”

Jensen unbuttoned Jared’s shirt swiftly, and helped Jared out of it. Jensen steadied Jared as Jared kicked off his shoes, and stepped out of his pants and socks.

Jensen turned them around and sat Jared onto the bed. Jensen began unbuckling his own belt.  Jared pulled Jensen toward him, brushing the right side of his face against Jensen’s cock, through his trousers.

“Gimme a sec, Jared, I’m getting undressed.”

Jared, apparently in a delirium of sexual arousal, offered little help as Jensen undressed himself, shirt, shoes, pants, socks, underwear off, all hitting the floor.

Jared’s muscular upper body on display for Jensen's thorough enjoyment and use, Jared wrapped his muscular arms around Jensen’s torso, lifted him up, turned him around and deposited him on his back on the bed. 

"Way to take charge Jared," Jensen said when he broke Jared's kiss to take in breath.

Jared uncharacteristically dispensed with talking, only emitting sounds or audible breaths, which were heavy and rapid, as his passion escalated and his pursuit of friction against Jensen's body intensified and his kisses smothered Jensen's lips.

From on top, Jared sought his pleasure by rubbing his cock against Jensen’s, covering Jensen like a sheet, with the wide expanse of his arm span. He buried his head into Jensen’s neck and uttered incomprehensible blasphemies.

“Jared baby, I want to touch you. I want to kiss you, please.”

Jensen slipped a hand between them, and grabbed Jared’s ball sack in his right hand, gently squeezing it in his hand.

Jared wailed.

Jensen shifted positions, coaxing Jared onto his back. He straddled Jared’s body, kneeling over him.

“Want to see you, look at you, touch you.”

The head of Jared’s dick was red with fury.

Jensen bent down and took the head in his mouth.

Jared mewled.

Jensen closed his eyes to experience Jared using all his senses. He tasted the salty, sticky texture of his pre come. He felt Jared's heat against his tongue. He enjoyed the different textures of Jared's head and shaft in his mouth, licking the large bulbous head of Jared’s cock and letting it fill his mouth. He sucked Jared's cock. He found the shaft hard, but the head tender, and Jensen was very careful not to use his teeth.

Jared was transported uttering nonsense but Jensen understood he was enjoying fucking himself into Jensen's mouth. 

Jensen gripped Jared’s shaft like the handle of a microphone, and he sucked on Jared’s head, enjoying holding tightly on to Jared’s shaft, and sucking hard on Jared's cock and alternatively licking just under the head with his stiff pointed tongue. He increased his speed and pressure, opened his mouth wide, and slid his mouth down Jared’s shaft, taking the most he could of Jared’s length into his mouth, and lowering his grip on Jared’s shaft.

Jared went wild, thrashing, trying to resist placing his hands on the sides of Jensen's head and fucking down his throat.

Jared’s cock was soaked with Jensen's saliva that dripped over his balls and down the crack of his ass.

Jensen stroked Jared's cock up and down while sucking him, pulling Jared's shaft out of his mouth to the head, and then forcefully driving down again, taking the shaft into is mouth and sucking forcefully.

Jared groaned loudly like a wild cat, like he could not withstand the intensity of the pleasure Jensen inflicted on him.

Jensen grabbed his lube positioned discreetly on the bedside table in preparation for tonight. 

While kneeling over Jared, Jensen poured a a little puddle of lube on his right palm, and squeezed several big drops on to Jared’s cock, and a few on his own cock. He jerked himself off a few strokes slicking himself up. Then he jerked Jared a few times. Jared's cock was already slick with saliva. Then Jensen wrapped his large hand around both cocks and jerked them together.

Jared raised his head to watch Jensen jerk off their cocks. When he was close, and could no longer stand it, Jared wrapped his gigantic hand around their cocks, over Jensen's, and jerked them off hard forcing Jensen to let go. 

“Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah…,” Jared released a groan with every stroke. 

The voltage coursing through Jensen's body accelerated as he watched his lover's passion rise.

Jared roared without inhibition, followed by, “I’m gonna cum.”

Jared pumped them both hard and fast, and came in a frenzy of jolts.

Jensen hung on as long as he could to watch Jared's facial expression until he too lost control.

Their cum shot wildly through the air, crowning their mutual release, hot and wet, their passion spent, wetting them in the most welcome fashion. 

Present to only this moment in time and space, Jensen wilted onto Jared, sliding across his slick chest, landing on the bed alongside him. Jensen’s head found the nook of Jared’s neck.

Jared, eyes closed, wrapped one arm under Jensen’s neck and pulled Jensen in toward him.

"Sleep over" Jensen murmured as he drifted off. 

"Yes" came Jared's soft reply.

And they slept.

Chapter Text

The Js

 

Jensen awoke skin against skin with Jared, heat emanating from Jared’s body. Jensen nuzzled Jared’s hair and stroked his back with a single finger, kissed a mole on Jared’s shoulder.

“Yum, you’re delicious.”

Jared grunted in reply, ten percent awake.

Jensen arose from bed, took a leak in the bathroom and brushed his teeth. Back in the bedroom, he picked up his cell phone from the night table, and walked into the kitchen to make a call from where he wouldn’t disturb Jared.

“Mike, Good Morning, it’s Jensen Ackles in 10A. Could you please walk Jared’s dogs again this morning? He's tied up this morning……..Yeah, I guess he didn’t make it home last night……thanks Mike. We'll see you later this week.”

Jensen brewed a pot of coffee, fixing himself and Jared each a cup. He knew exactly how Jared liked it after all the time they spent working together, with milk and sugar.

“Made you coffee” Jensen said handing Jared the cup in bed.

“Thanks…need to use the bathroom” 

Jared got up and went to the bathroom, leaving the door wide open. From the bed, Jensen watched Jared standing, one hand leaning against the wall as he relieved himself, a private and intimate act, yet he didn’t close the door. Jensen was impressed with Jared's sculpted back, the curve of his ass, but mostly by Jared’s lack of inhibition, which could only arise out of high degree of comfort with himself being seen in the nude. God did favor him, as any one with eyes could see. At the moment Jensen was privately happy with Jared’s sense of self confidence since he was this moment the surreptitious beneficiary of Jared uninhibitedly strolling around naked. As he watched, smiling and admiring, Jensen felt like a voyeur, guilty in his enjoyment of watching Jared’s long, muscular legs support his lengthy torso and his sculpted ribs. Surely Jensen thought Jared would make a great study for a painter or sculptor.

Taking his long lean body topped with his mess of brown hair, Jared moved to the sink where he sleepily squeezed the tube of toothpaste that oozed a string of toothpaste onto a toothbrush, Jensen’s. He brushed his teeth and rinsed his mouth using his palms and spitting into the sink. Jensen had seen Jared brush his teeth before, but somehow today it felt more intimate. Well for one he was using Jensen’s toothbrush. Rather than grossed out, Jensen felt privileged by Jared’s use of it. He knew it gave him entrée into a society in which there could only be very few members.

Jared came to the bedside and picked up the coffee Jensen prepared for him, he took a sip, smiling, eyes meeting Jensen’s. “Speak” said Jared.

“You’re the talkative one. Though, the cat had your tongue last night. I’m used to doing a lot more listening where you’re concerned. Come back to bed.” Jensen patted the bed. “I want to roll around with you.”

Jared got back in bed, and Jensen rolled on his side up against Jared, stomach to stomach. Jensen kissed Jared on his pretty pink lips, eyes wide open, looking into Jared’s eyes.

“You only came once last night. I had you figured at two or three times.” Jensen said.

Jared chuckled and his mouth formed a wide smile. Jensen kissed Jared’s lips again, and Jared responded by leaning into the kiss, gently opening his lips, giving Jensen access to his tongue and using his own tongue to explore Jensen’s mouth. Jensen warmed things up by brushing his flat palm along Jared’s defined ribs, feeling down his side, along his narrow waist. Jared moved his body closer to Jensen’s so their fronts were aligned and touching, warming each other with their bodies. Continuing Jensen let his desire be known by moving his hand over Jared’s ass where he could not help but squeeze a fistful of flesh of Jared’s fine ass.

"Maybe we could remedy that situation now," Jensen said.

Jared loved the attention and had the reaction Jensen desired based on the hard body part making its presence known against Jensen’s leg. Jensen rubbed his own emerging hard on against Jared’s thigh, letting Jared feel his desire.

“Jared?”

“Yes?”

“There is something I want to do with you – if you’re comfortable”

“What is it?”

“Well last night I used my mouth, I took you in my mouth.....”

“Yes”

“and what I would like is, I would like us to do that to each other”

Jared’s face reddened taking Jensen mildly by surprise.

"Why do you look so surprised? It was a first for me. It can't be a first for you?"

"Yes and No"

"What do you mean by yes and no?"

“Well it will be my first time with you. And as sexy as I think I am with my new hot bod, I can't help thinking that you would be comparing me to women.”

“Jared, I don’t know how to say this delicately, but last night I had your cock in my mouth. It was a huge turn on for me being with you. Do not doubt that I am enjoying myself with you, and I want to do more. How can I make you feel comfortable?”

“Well I know you dated Joanna Krupa, and I have 100 pounds on her, and I’m almost a foot taller than she is.”

Jensen took Jared’s hand, moved it downward over his erection.

“Feel this. This is from watching you get up and go to the bathroom. I’ve gotten a taste of your passion Jared, and I want to more.”

Jensen kept Jared’s hand on his erection and guided him in stroking it. Then, he lodged his mouth on Jared’s, engaging him in a passionate kiss.

“I will not push you into anything you’re not ready for Jared.”

"I want you Jensen. Sometimes I get insecure. I keep telling myself you wont like me or find me sexy because I’m a guy, and a big one."

"And a gorgeous one. You know you are. Jared, I told you, do not doubt me. Have confidence in me. I want you."

Then Jensen took matters into his own hands. He rolled onto his side, switched his head from the top of the bed to lower on the bed.

Jared shifted so he was laying diagonally on the bed, face aligned with Jensen’s pelvis; Jensen's head aligned with Jared's pelvis.

"I want you Jared," said Jensen right before he took Jared in his mouth eagerly and lustfully.

Then Jared reciprocated. 

When Jensen felt the wet heat of Jared's mouth surrounding him, he entered a new dimension of sensation. Jared was right. It was not like it was with Katie. Jared was much stronger, his mouth was larger and it gripped Jensen harder. Jared fondled Jensen’s ball sac and gently pulled it as he sucked cock.

Sweet mother of God, Jensen couldn’t talk because he himself had a mouth full of cock. He focused on how great he was feeling, and at the same time, sucked on Jared’s substantial cock. Jared was right in that he was large. Jensen’s mouth alone could not do the job, so he recruited his hands to help with the part of Jared’s cock that he could not fit in his mouth. He was sloppy and wet in his endeavor, but he didn’t care as long as he could make Jared feel the ecstasy he himself was feeling…the slow rise...the growing intensity...the need for it not to stop

"Don’t stop," Jensen issued, and his body tensed, his cock stiffening to it’s hardest like a storm building up its strength over the ocean before it hits land. 

As Jensen began his ascent to the height of his passion, he could feel that Jared was right there with him, feeling his passion rising.

Jensen enjoyed Jared's sloppy succulent mouth entrapping his cock in a prison of ecstasy, from which his only escape was the oncoming explosion. Seizing and wailing and coming, their bodies shuddered with ecstasy until they were both spent fully and temporarily incapacitated with a blissful inability to move, except to plop their weight down onto the mattress. When they both recharged a bit, they agreed they were starving and needed to go out for food.

***

Without preamble Jensen and Jared arrived for dinner at the Dallas home of the Ackles family on the Sunday night before Thanksgiving. Jensen excitedly entered the front door of his family's house, with Jared in tow, to find a cozy, well heated home filled with the smell of cooking. 

“Hello!” Jensen’s voice called out. Jensen placed his travel bag  at the bottom of the stairs to the right of the front door, and nodded to Jared to do the same.

“Jensen, welcome home!” said Jensen's Mom. 

“Mom” Jensen said as he beheld her beaming face before any other’s. Donna’s face was rosy with the warmth of the heat from the stove and oven.

Jensen's dad followed closely behind Donna.

“Jensen, welcome home.”

Donna reached Jensen first and surrounded him with a big hug. Alan was there right behind her and embraced Jensen tightly.

“I brought Jared with me.”

“Jared, welcome, we are happy to have you,” Donna said.

“Jared, glad you could make it,” Alan extended his hand to shake Jared’s.

“Thank you for having me, Mr. and Mrs. Ackles,” Jared replied.

“It’s our pleasure Jared. Come now y’all sit down. Dinner’s almost ready.” Donna said.

Jensen led Jared through a modest family room.

“Come meet my family Jared.”

In the living room Jensen introduced Jared to his brother Josh, his sister-in-law Ashley, and their new baby, Emily.

“Jared, this is my brother Josh, his wife Ashley, and this is my niece, Emily.”

“Nice to meet you” Jared said.

“Great to meet you Jared. We’ve heard so much about you. It’s nice to finally meet you. How many days off are y’all getting?” Josh asked. 

“We get a whole week,” replied Jared. 

“That’s a rare pleasure. What do you have planned?” asked Josh.

“Jensen suggested I come here and meet y’all, which sounded great to me, and then I suggested he come and meet my family. We thought it was about time we meet each other’s families since we spend so much time with each other,” Jared offered. 

"He talks about his family all the time so I figured I might as well meet them," Jensen said.

"And vice versa," said Jared. 

“Y’all do spend a lot of time together. You’re not sick of each other yet?” Josh asked.

“I know, you’d think so,” Jared replied, “but alas, no, we actually like each other. Go figure," said Jared.

"Working with Jared is a highlight of the job,” said Jensen. 

“We love the job and we know how lucky we are to have these roles, but we are in Canada, we work un-Godly long hours and having each other to lean on is a God send. It would be pretty lonely without Jensen,” Jared added.

“Both being from Texas is probably a key to why we get along so well," said Jensen, placing a hand on Jared's back. "We have a lot in common, the way we grew up, football, food, family, church,” said Jensen.

"That's an amazing coincidence that you're both from Texas. Imagine the odds on that," said Josh.

“Can I hold her?” Jensen asked Ashley, holding out his arms to take Emily from her.

Jensen accepted Emily into his arms.

“Hi Emily” Jensen said kissing her on her chubby little cheek.

Emily pawed at Jensen with her tiny palm and looked into Jensen's eyes.

“Can you say Uncle Jensen?” he asked her. 

“Da da da da da” Emily said as she palmed Jensen’s face with her saliva soaked hand.

“She knows a few words mostly Da Da. And you look like her da da.” Ashley said.

“Jensen you look right at home with a baby in your arms.” Jared said, while looking at Jensen with dreamy eyes.

Jensen made eye contact with Jared while holding Emily. Looking at Jared while holding baby Emily in his arms, Jensen’s imagination wandered for a moment to a fantasy of Jensen and Jared together with their own baby.

“Can I hold her please?” Jared asked.

“Sure” Ashley said.

Jared held his arms out while Jensen handed Emily over to him.

“She’s so cute,” Jared said.

“She’s happy in your arms,” said Jensen watching Jared interact with Emily.

“Hello Emily, Hello” Jared said to Emily in baby talk.

Jensen was feeling very warm inside as he daydreamed about Jared and himself having their own little Emily, their own little house together, and their own coupledom.

“Come to the table,” called Alan, as he helped place large serving trays on the dining table.

“I’ll take her now Jared” Ashley took Emily from Jared. "You’re good at that Jared. Do you have any nieces or nephews?”

“Yes, my brother Jeff has kids, so I am an uncle. It’s pretty awesome.”

“Jensen go upstairs and get Mackenzie please. She’s in her room talking on the phone to her friends,” Jensen's mom asked.

“Sure mom,” answered Jensen.

“Can I help with anything in the kitchen Mrs. Ackles?" Jared asked.

“No thank you Jared. Please you’re our guest, make yourself at home,” answered Mrs. Ackles. 

Mackenzie came downstairs with Jensen, her phone in her hand.

“I found her,” Jensen said coming down the stairs. When they got to the table Mackenzie took her usual seat. Jensen placed his hands on her shoulders and kissed the top of her head.

“I missed you squirt,” he said.

“I know,” she smiled confidently.

Jensen was glad Mack was cocky when it came to him. She never in a million years would doubt that he loved her, and that he would do anything for her. That was because demonstrated it to her every minute he was with her.

“How’s school Mack?” Jensen asked her. 

“Good,” she answered. 

“Mackenzie’s a senior in high school this year,” Jensen told Jared.

“That’s ideal,” said Jared. “Most fun year of high school,” he added.

“I guess,” Mackenzie replied, “except for college applications.”

“Oh yeah, where are you applying?” Jared inquired.

“Early decision to UT at Austin, same as where Dad went, and Josh and Ashley, and that’s where Jensen was going to go too, if not for the acting thing” explained Mack.

“That’s awesome” said Jared. “you were planning on attending UT Austin? he addressed Jensen. "I didn’t know that,” Jared said.

“Yes, I was thinking of a career as a physical therapist, until I got bit by the acting bug. Then when I got the soap opera award for best newcomer, and then when I kept getting cast in new roles, the college years slipped away. Now I’m 27, so let’s hope our show gets renewed because I’m getting too old to be a freshman.”

“Tru dat” said Mackenzie.

Jensen fake swatted Mackenzie on the head.

“We don’t use slang in this house Missie," said Mrs. Ackles. "Sit down now y’all please, the food is gonna get cold after all my hard work,” Donna insisted.

Jensen seated Jared next to him at the table. He rested a hand on Jared's knee for a short moment under the table, and gave Jared's knee a light squeeze. 

“You’re in for a treat tonight Jared because it just so happens that my mom is an excellent cook.”

"Jensen praises your cooking all the time Mrs. Ackles," said Jared. 

“I made all your favorites Jensen” his Mom said. 

“Jensen, would you like to say grace?” his mother asked.

“Yes ma’am,” Jensen replied. “Dear Lord, our thank you for our family members and friends gathered around this table. Thank you for our health and all that you generously provide us. Thank you for this food, and thank you momma for preparing it for us.  Lord Please bless this food to our bodies. Let it nourish us and keep us well. Continue to guide our family along Your path. In Jesus name we pray. Amen”

“Amen” chimed the family members around the table.

As the food got passed around, Jensen felt great to be home in his house, with his family and with Jared.

“Sparkling water Jared?” Jensen asked.

Jared’s eyebrows rose ostensibly realizing that there was no alcohol on the table.

“Sure, I would love some,” Jared replied.

“Thank you for having me for dinner Mr. and Mr. Ackles. I’m honored to be a guest in your home.” 

“It’s our pleasure Jared. It’s about time anyway. Y'all have been working together, two years now. Tell us Jared, how is season two going for you?”

“Oh, thank you for asking Mrs. Ackles. Season two is fantastic really. My favorite episode this season is Nightshifter. Our guest star, Chris Gauthier, who played Ronald Reznick, was hilarious. And our other guest star, Charles Mailk Whitfield, who played FBI agent Victor Henrickson, and he was so good in the role. They wrote Jensen's character really well in the episode. You're gonna love it when you see it. We also filmed an episode called Heart. It was super challenging for me. I had a love scene. I hope it will be a well received episode."

Jensen gave Jared the side when he recalled his jealousy of Christophe, the gay wardrober, who got recirculated to a different show that episode courtesy of Jensen.

“Yeah we have some great episodes this season. I’m really happy with the writing.” Jensen piped in.

“The only rough part is the schedule. We have to be on set filming  14 hours a day, 5 days a week. Friday night filming seems bleeds into Saturday morning. It’s pretty exhausting. I’m sure Jensen tells you about that.”

“Yeah, we spend Sundays sleeping and laying around on the couch watching sports just to rest ourselves for the following week,” Jensen contributed.

“Your Mom and I watch Supernatural every week, and tell all our friends to watch, though we've been told by our friends that it’s not to everybody’s taste,” Alan Ackles said supportively.

“Yes,” Donna added, “we are doing our part here in Dallas to keep those ratings up. Though I myself have to look away from the TV sometimes. Those opening scenes can be so gory!”

Jared laughed heartily.

“Yes they can be bloody and gory Mrs. Ackles. My mother tells me the same thing."

After a deliciously satisfying meal Mackenzie announced, “I’m going to my room,” and she swept up the stairs as if there was a great hurry.

Jensen motioned Jared to follow him to the living room with Alan,  Josh and baby Emily in the baby walker while Donna and Ashley washed dishes in the kitchen.

“Let’s help the wives” Alan said to Josh.

"Jensen and Jared you can sit this one out since you flew in all the way from Canada.”

“then, you’re on Emily duty” Josh said to Jensen leavng to go to the kitchen to help the women.

“I got this” Jensen replied.

Jensen glanced furtively at Jared flashing him a smile, feeling happy and relaxed, well fed and happy to be among his loved ones.

“How ya doin’?” Jensen asked Jared now that they were alone. 

Jared smirked a little.

“What Jensen asked?”

“Um, no alcohol?”

“Oh yeah, my parents are teetotalers.”

“And nice job saying grace.”

“You like that huh?”

“Yes, it was very sexy to see your religious side. You’re so pious, especially when you’re sucking my dick,” Jared taunted. 

“Jared you blasphemer!” Jensen said with mock indignation.

“Later I want to commit a sacrilege on your body,” Jared goaded. 

“Ssshhhh Emily is a few feet away” said Jensen.

“Well it's a good thing then that she can’t understand us, or talk yet. Where am I sleeping tonight?”

“Twin beds in my old bedroom,” Jensen replied. 

“Oh good at least we will be in the same room,” said Jared.

“You’ll have to be quiet though tonight. Think you can handle it?” asked Jensen.

“I will handle it and you later” Jared smirked.

 

Donna got the photo albums out from Jensen's modeling days, which hailed back to when he was a toddler.

"He basically grew up in front of a camera" she supplied.

"Mom, no need to go back that far. You're gonna bore Jared to death."

"Not possible Mrs. Ackles," Jared asserted smiling broadly.

"Yes it is," called Mackenzie from upstairs. 

"Ah we're leaving," Josh announced, as Ashley packed up Emily. "Goodnight!" 

Jensen shook his head, ready to be embarrassed by this walk down memory lane, led by his Mother through her many photo albums of Jensen. 

"Goodnight Josh. Goodnight Asley. Goodnight sweet Emily." 

"We'll see you tomorrow Jensen," Josh said as they were leaving. 

As Jensen suffered through the second photo album, and God only knew how many more Mom had in store, the doorbell rang. Jensen could hear Mr. Ackles talking to people at the front door.

“That's odd we're not expecting anyone at this hour,” Donna said.

"Maybe it’s some fans of Jensen who heard he was in town" Jared teased.

Jensen watched in bewilderment as Alan walked back into the room followed by three visitors.

"Mr. and Mrs. Murphy, and Katie, what a pleasant surprise,” said Donna.

“May I take your coats?” Alan offered. Alan signaled a look of concern to Donna and Jensen.

Jensen was surprised to see the Murphys. They never visited before. It was later than typical visiting hours. His curiosity was quite piqued. Moreover, he and Katie had a thing over the summer, and he wasn’t keen on Jared meeting her. This was odd, he thought to himself.

Jensen politely stood as Mrs. Murphy and Katie Murphy entered the room, as he was taught to do when women entered a room. Jared stood too.

When Katie took off her coat, Jensen's face turned white as a sheet. His stomach leapt as he regarded the protruding belly on Katie. Sensing doom, Jensen sat down on the sofa, his face suddenly ghostly white.

Jared glanced at Jensen, with a perplexed expression on his face.

Katie and her parents sat down on the sofa facing Jensen and the others who were seated on the opposing sofa. 

Jensen's mouth went dry. He felt the cotton in his mouth, and swallowed uncomfortably with a lack of spittle in his mouth. He tried to get the words out.

"Hello Katie," Jensen said. He felt like an asteroid was soaring in his direction, headed directly toward him. He wasn’t sure if any words came out.

Mr. Murphy spoke first. "We've come on a serious matter Alan."

Mr. Murphy addressed Alan and Donna primarily, appealing to their parental authority and moral high ground.

"As you can see Alan, our daughter Katie is expecting a baby. She's more than 5 months pregnant now. Our families have known each other and attended the same church goin’ on ten years now, and seein’ as Jensen and Katie were goin’ together all summer, I’m here askin’ ya to influence your son to do the right thing, and make our Katie respectable."

In the seconds it took Mr. Murphy to say that sentence, Jensen’s world collapsed. By the look on Jared’s face, his hopes fell along with it. Jensen had no spit in his mouth, and therefore he couldn’t get any words out. Katie's protruding belly represented his shameful, lustful acts, displayed for the world to see, even worse, for his parents to see.

Jared looked like he was struck by a tetherball. Dumbstruck, he watched and listened as the situation spiraled out of control.

“We’re askin' ya to give this youngin’ a proper family name when he or she comes into the world Jensen. We know you’re good people Alan and Donna, and you want the best for your future grandchild as much as we do." Mr. Murphy continued.

Jensen stared straight at Katie, who never looked up at him. She sat, her head down and her eyes cast down into her lap.

Jensen had spoken to Jared about Katie in Vancouver, telling him she was the girl he dated over hiatus. It was the same conversation where Jared told Jensen he was gay. Jensen complained that he felt Katie used him because he was good looking. She was into the sex, but Jensen thought she didn’t have much heart, didn't really care for him.

She cheated on me, Jensen had heard from the bartender at The Fat Cat Club that Katie had cheated in him with the owner, Tom. He had confronted her about it. She didn’t deny it. She as much as admitted to it. Jensen kept watching and listening wondering what was going to happen next. Mrs. Murphy sat quietly holding Katie's hand.

Jensen saw his mother’s gobsmacked expression, her eyes glued to Katie. He felt ashamed. Looking at his Dad, Jensen observed his father’s forced neutral expression, but underneath his face seemed stiff, stern and displeased.

Jensen's eyes moved to Katie. He felt like running away, but they all stayed in their seats, as if velcroed to the sofa. Jensen saw his mother's mouth remain closed, her lips a straight line of consternation.

Jensen couldn’t really bear to look at Jared at this point. As well as things seemed to be going this evening, he felt pretty sure Jared regretted this visit now.

"Jensen what do you have to say for yourself?" asked Mr. Ackles.

Jensen’s mind sped. He was Catholic, in Texas. He felt 17 years old, not 27 years old. His face was hot with shame. On the spot, in front of God, these authority figures, his Dad, Mr. Murphy, his Mom, Mrs. Murphy...it didn't matter what he wanted, expected or hoped for in life. In this moment, he had a duty. If this was his baby, there was only one option for him.

"I take full responsibility for my actions. Of course, I will do the right thing,” Jensen said.

Chapter Text

 

 

 

Jensen and his Dad walked the Murphys out to their car assuring them that they would be in communication.

Returning to the living room, Jensen sat on the sofa tense as a statue. Jensen found some solace in the support of his family surrounding him. Feeling low enough, Jensen dropped a notch lower when his sister Mackenzie joined them in the living room.

“She’s lying Jensen. Don’t trust her.”

“What do you mean MacKenzie?” asked her mother.

“Everyone knows she’s dating Tom from the Fat Cat Club. They’ve been seen all over town together. But now that he’s in jail, she’s claiming the baby is Jensen’s.”

“How do you know this Mackenzie?” asked her dad.

“The Murphys have nine kids. Four of them are in my high school, one in every grade, all boys. Brian is in my class, and he’s going out with my friend Shauna. When Tom got arrested, Shauna said it was all Brian talked about.”

“What was he arrested for?” asked Jensen.

“Dealing drugs at the fat cat club,” she replied.

“Is he still in jail?” asked Jensen.

“No, he made bail. But everyone assumed Katie's baby was Tom’s, and I heard they were engaged. Now the baby is suddenly yours?” replied Mackenzie.

“Mom, Dad, I’m so sorry for embarrassing you like this” said Jensen. “and Mackenzie and Jared, I’m really sorry for putting you through this.”

“You were so quick to accept responsibility Jensen,” Jared said in an accusing tone.

“Well what was I supposed to do, start denying paternity, or accusing Katie of cheating on me with Tom in front of her parents?”

“That was weird, I didn’t get why she came here with her parents,” said Jared. “You would think she would take tell you she was pregnant privately Jensen. And why did she keep it from you so long?”

“I was thinking the same thing. Maybe the baby is Tom’s, and her parents no longer think Tom the drug dealer is good a good candidate to be a father to the baby” Jensen speculated.

“Nine kids are a lot of kids. Maybe it’s a financial issue,” Jared propounded.

 “That could be,” said Mr. Ackles. “It is something to consider as a possibility.”

“Jensen, you say it could be yours?” Asked Jared.

“Yes, I mean from the timing, it could be. I was with her five months ago. But we used protection every time. God this is so embarrassing. Sorry Mom. Sorry Mack. But it is why I am so surprised. I found out she cheated on me with Tom, but I don’t know the timing of it. I only found out three months ago she was with Tom. I don’t know if he was in the picture five months ago.”

“Why do you think she was so quiet Jensen?” his mom asked.

“I don’t know, that was curious. I think I’m going to need to have a conversation with her when her parents are not around. Maybe she will feel more comfortable talking freely to me,” said Jensen.

“Do you think she has something to hide?” asked Mrs. Ackles?

“Yes, I hate to say it, but I did not get the idea that Mr. and Mrs. Murphy had the full picture. They assumed that I am the baby’s father. They did not act as if there could be any other possibility,” said Jensen.

“Remember Jensen, the bible tells us that, ‘Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.’ So If Katie is telling the truth, she can be easy, but if she is deceiving anyone, then she will be found out. Be patient, ignore the gossip, and when you know the facts, act accordingly.”

“She did not look easy to me tonight Dad,” said Jensen.

“Yes, I tend to agree with you. We can’t know anything tonight. So, I suggest we go to bed, and take this up again tomorrow morning,” said Mr. Ackles.

“I think that’s a good idea Dad,” said Jensen. “Thank you, Mom. Thank you, Dad. I love you.”

“We love you too,” said Mrs. Ackles.

“C’mon Jared, let’s get these bags upstairs. I will show you to the bedroom we will be sleeping in tonight,” said Jensen, feeling the weight of his own disappointment in himself, in this situation, and of Jared’s concerned expression looking back at him.  

 

 

Chapter Text

 

Jared twitched to get up the stairs but was stymied because he had to wait for Jensen to lead the way to the bedroom. Jensen opened the door proceeding Jared into a boy’s bedroom of moderate size. Jared spied the twin beds. Not bothering to conceal his impatience, he stated shortly, “we should have stayed in a hotel.”

“I’m not going to come home to my parents house for thanksgiving and stay in a hotel,” replied Jensen, his shoulders lowering further, and his head hung as if in shame.

Jared felt his temper rising, ‘this sucks!”

“What sucks Jared, that you have to sleep in a twin bed or that you are spending your thanksgiving weekend with me, or that my girlfriend is pregnant?”

“Your girlfriend?”

“My ex-girlfriend, you know what I mean.”

“I don’t know what you mean Jensen, since you practically said you were gonna marry her downstairs just now. Did you forget I was sitting there?”

“No Jared, I did not forget you were sitting there. Did you see her father and mother there; my mother and father there? I had to accept my responsibility Jared.”

“Yeah well it seems like it might be another guy’s responsibility,” replied Jared.  

“How can I find out?”

“DNA test.”

“Can it be done while she’s pregnant? Or do I have to wait until the baby is born?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well if it’s not my baby we don’t have a problem. If it is my baby, then…. I’m sorry Jared.”

 Jared was laser focused on Jensen. “What do you mean you’re sorry? Are you saying that if she’s pregnant it’s over between us? You’re gonna marry her?”

“No I’m not saying that.  I’m just saying that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for this problem. I don’t know what I will do of it’s my baby. I know I will pay child support. I don’t want to marry Katie. She didn’t love me.”

“Did you love her? Do you love her?”

“I could have loved her. I tried. It was a very passionate relationship. She was really into the sex and so was I. I wanted more with her. I felt I was always in the shallows with her.  She never went deep with me. I couldn’t access her soul and she wasn’t interested in accessing mine.”

Jared’s temper softened by Jensen’s sharing and openness, but he needed reassurance, “what about me, what am I to you? Tell me.”  

“You are my boyfriend.”

“Your secret boyfriend.”

“Hey that’s not all on me, Jared. You’re secretive about it too.”

Jared lay down on the bed and rested his head on the pillow, reflecting on the predicament. “What are we gonna do?”

Jensen came over to the bed Jared was laying in. “Make room for me.”

Jared moved over opening a space for Jensen.

Jensen lay on the bed on his side facing Jared. “Jared you are the best thing I have in my life. I love you.” He kissed Jared on the mouth.

Jared was soothed by the kiss somewhat but that unquenchable need he had in his belly, the need for love and acceptance, burned like a pilot light in his body, never sated.Jared’s stomach tightened and his eyes stung.

“I need you Jensen,” he said with watery eyes.

Jensen responded with a kiss on Jared’s lips. Jared and Jensen kissed for an hour. Jared had a good cry.

Jared knew it was wrong to burden Jensen with his neediness when Jensen was up against a formidable problem, “I’m sorry I’m so needy Jensen. You have a problem and I should be more supportive, and not so worried about myself.”

It’s alright Jared, I knew what I was getting when I signed up with you,” Jensen replied jovially.

“You have to be the strong one,” Jared replied.

“Sometimes, but I rely on you too. In some circumstances, you’re the one who I’m leaning on. You give me more support than you know Jared. Listen, these beds are small. What do you say we sleep in separate beds tonight, and tomorrow I get us a nice hotel room?”

“Sounds good,” Jared replied.

Jensen stayed in bed with Jared until he finally settled himself into a soft slumber, and then got in his own bed for the night.

Chapter Text

 

Jensen got up early with resolute intention, and went downstairs to eat breakfast with his parents. He had a lot to tell them. He left Jared undisturbed in the twin bed, a situation he planned to remedy tonight.

“Good Morning my precious son” Donna kissed her beloved middle child on the cheek, “I love you.”

“I know Mama,” Jensen replied, and pulled his mother in for a firm hug. “I love you so much Mama.”

Jensen sat at the rectangular kitchen table and started eating a slice of buttered toast while his Mama poured him a cup of coffee. She smiled as she poured it, obviously enjoying preparing breakfast for her son.

“’So much love, it’s a beautiful thing,” Alan smiled at his son and wife’s affectionate reunion.

“Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you, and I’m sorry for the timing of this, after Katie dropped a bomb last night, but I know you love me, and that I am the luckiest guy in the world to have you as parents.”

Seeing the effect of his words still his parents, Jensen proceeded slowly.

“What is it Jensen?” asked his Dad.

“As much as I know you love me, and I love you, this is a difficult topic to discuss.”

“Jensen…what is it?” asked his Mom.

“It’s about my relationship with Jared.”

The attentive silence of Jensen’s parents continued, as they hung on his words.

“You may not know this, but Jared is gay,” Jensen paused, then continued his disclosure, “…and I’m in love with him.”

Alan’s eyes opened to their maximum capacity.  

Jensen’s parents showed obvious surprise, but they immediately repressed whatever initial reaction came to the surface, to hide any response that could hurt their son's feelings.

Jensen stared and waited. For a moment he recalled the day that Jared told him he preferred men. It was a stunning surprise, but in retrospect, he realized hat he would never have rejected Jared, just as he was confident now that his parents would never reject him, even if they took some time to get comfortable with the idea of him and Jared together.

“Are you going to say anything?” Jensen followed up.

“Are you gay too?” Alan asked. Donna’s eyes were open pretty wide too.

Jensen was surprisingly cool, expecting that his parents would have questions and ask for more information.

“Well technically dad, I guess some people would call me that since I’m in a relationship with a guy. Our relationship is not for public knowledge, but to answer your question, no, I don’t think I’m easily categorized as gay because I have never been attracted to guys before Jared. I’ve always dated women and been attracted to women.”

“Do you think Jared influenced you to be gay?” Alan asked.

“You mean, did he sell me on it? Talk me into it?” Jensen replied.

“Did he come on to you?”

“No, never. Quite the opposite.  Jared was in a relationship with a guy named Leslie. I met him in the hospital in Vancouver when Jared was hit by the car in the parking lot at Stanley Park. Jared had just told me he was gay the week before, and, this is really personal and a little embarrassing, but I felt really jealous of Leslie’s relationship with Jared. I felt like he was usurping my slot as Jared’s best friend. And I mean, I was jealous, really jealous. I don’t know if I realized I was in love with Jared then, but I reacted so badly. I was awful to Leslie. I basically ran him out of town.  From then on, I pursued Jared while he had a hard time accepting that I was for real. So no, he didn’t turn me gay, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Jensen kind of expected that his parents might suspect that Jared turned him gay. He didn’t want them to blame Jared for turning their son gay since that was not the case, and it was a hostile attitude that he didn’t want his parents to take.

“Have you considered the impact that this relationship could have on your career?” Alan asked.

“The thing is, Jared’s sexuality is only known to his family and closest friends. Our relationship is private. No one knows about us. It’s just between us. We plan to tell Jared’s family over Thanksgiving.”

“But you haven’t really answered the question. If it were to get out, have you considered the impact to your career?” Alan persisted.

“Well Dad, I don’t think it would be fabulous for my career. Gay Dean Winchester, I don’t think that is what the casting director was looing for, and in Hollywood, no, they don’t cast gay leading men, we all know that. It would not be a positive for my career. That's why Jared keeps it quiet, and I will too.”

“But Jensen, it’s bound to get out. You know what they say, the truth always comes out.”

“Frankly dad, it’s no one’s damn business.”

“Public figures do not enjoy the same right to privacy as normal citizens, Jensen” Alan answered.

“I know Dad, so to answer your question, I would like to keep it private, but I am taking the risk because I’m in love with Jared. We spend so much time together in Vancouver. He is my best friend. Most of the time it’s just me and Jared together.”

“Well, it’s a big risk Jensen, as long as you’ve given it some serious thought…… Do you think it’s just a phase? I mean as you said you’ve always liked girls. So, do you think you’re just experimenting? Maybe you're just too lonely in Vancouver. Maybe it's like when men go to prison. It's a temporary fix.” Alan asked.

“Dad, that's outrageous. It's not analogous to prison for God's sake!!"

"I'm sorry Jensen. I just want to know if you think it's forever with Jared?"

Trying to be calm and respectful to his parents and to give them all the information they needed to assimilate the concept of their son being with another guy, Jensen replied, "Jared wonders the same thing, Dad. He seems to have one foot in and one foot out. Or at least he’s half expecting for me to disappoint him. He says maybe I am temporarily gay or reversibly gay.  He’s a little wary of his heart.”


“Well if you marry Katie, you’ll have a beard,” Alan added.

“Dad, that is wrong on so many levels.”

“Jensen, I am thinking of your lifelong reputation and your career. This relationship could be a burst of youthful exuberance. You said yourself that Jared fears the same thing. I’m your dad. It’s my job to worry about you.”

“I don’t want to marry Katie. I don’t love her, and she sure does not love me. When I get married, I want to marry for love.”

“Well same sex marriage is not legal. And you could be in a relationship with Jared, and married to Katie as a cover for your sexuality. Then you could be together all you want, and people would not suspect anything.”

“What about Katie?”

“What about her? Do you think she knocked on our door last night because she loves you?”

“No.”

“People marry out of love. Some people marry for money. Some people marry because of a pregnancy. Some people marry to hide homosexuality. Many marriages around the world are arranged,” Alan propounded.

“Dad, this is about my relationship with Jared. I am sharing my private life with you because you’re my parents, and I love you. This conversation has become unrecognizable to me. I don’t know how my relationship with Jared got so merged with the Katie issue. Mom, please say something.”

“Oh my, Jensen. I am perfectly okay with you and Jared having a relationship. I knew you were struggling in your relationship with Katie this summer when we went to church, and your heart was so conflicted. I thought you might have feelings for Jared. I saw the signs, the way you brought his name into every conversation. I love you Jensen. Nothing can change that. And I love Jared too. I will support you in whatever decision you make or path you decide to take.”

“I appreciate that Mom.”

“I do think you need to find out if Katie’s baby is your baby, Jensen.”

“I will visit her today and at least talk to her privately. I will get as much information as I can. Listen, Mom, Dad, Jared and I are going to check into a hotel for tonight. We will still meet you for dinner, but after Katie showed up at the house last night, Jared was pretty upset.  I think he would be more comfortable in a hotel, and I want to do that for him, after what he suffered through with Katie and her parents’ visit.”

“In light of the relationship you have with Jared, I imagine it was hard for him to hear her news. And if you two are dating, I understand you need more privacy - and a bigger bed!”

“Mom! You’re not supposed to say that!”

“Well, Jared is a big boy”

“Ew, mom!”

“You brought up the topic.”

“Boundaries mom! No sexual allusions!”

“C’mon, come with me to the piano.”

Jensen followed his mom to the living room, where they housed an upright piano. He sat down beside his Mom on the piano bench.

She opened a songbook to a well-worn page. Jensen knew this is where she did much of her parenting. She began to play and sing,

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high

There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

“Sing along with me Jensen,” his Mom asked. And he did…….

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue

And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Jared appeared on the far side of the piano, facing Donna and Jensen. He was such a tall, commanding presense. His hair was wet from just showering, and he wore jeans and a tee shirt. Jensen was happy to see signs of a subtle smile on his face after a tense night. Alan listened and watched from the open kitchen, leaning against the counter, facing the living room.


Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops

Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me


Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly

Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?


If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?"

Jared gently clapped. Jensen put his arm around his Mom and leaned his head toward her so it was touching hers. “Thanks Mom. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Jensen," Donna replied. She stood up and placed her hand on the small of Jared's back. “C’mon Jared, let’s get you some breakfast," she said shepharding Jared into the kitchen.

Chapter Text

 

 

In the car on the way to check into the hotel Jared was full of questions. “Why were your parents acting so strangely toward me this morning Jensen?”

“Stangely how?”

“Like super looking at me, and your mom smiling a lot.”

Jensen smiled and felt good about sharing his news with Jared. He knew it would make Jared very happy.

“You may have noticed a change in them because this morning before you got up, I told them about us.”

“you told them about us?”

“yes, I told them about us” Jensen said, smiling back at Jared as if he wasn’t dropping the biggest news of the century.

Jared couldn’t help but smile in spite of himself.

“What did you tell them about us exactly?”

“I told them that you’re gay, and that you and I are romantically involved.”

There was a pause as Jared took it in.

“And how did they react? What did they say?”

“My father asked me if I’m gay.”

“And what did you reply? Jensen seriously, do I have to squeeze it out of you like toothpaste?”

“Alright, alright.  My Dad had a lot of questions. I said that I didn’t think I was gay because I’ve always only dated women and been attracted to women. He wanted to know how we became involved. I told him that it was from when I met Leslie at the hospital in Vancouver, I felt jealous of him, and I ran him out of town. I told my folks that I have feelings for you beyond any feelings I’ve ever had for anyone else.”

Jared’s mood-o-meter went off the charts on that statement.  Jensen smiled at Jared’s buoyed mood, which was apparent from Jared’s face.

“You’re smiling, you’re smiling, you’re smiling” Jensen sang to Jared.  

Jared smiled ear to ear, and looked straight ahead out the front car window to avert his abashed face from Jensen.

“What else?” Jared asked hoping to sound casual about wanting to hear every word of the conversation.

Jensen indulged him, knowing this was the perfect aphrodisiac as he drove them to the uptown Dallas Hilton Hotel.

“I was clear that I was the one who initiated with you. I told them that you never came on to me. I wanted that to be on the record. My Dad did ask if I might be going through a phase.”

“…and,” Jared waited….

“I told him what I know Jared. I told him that you wonder that too, that only time will tell. But I told them that I love you.”

A bath of elation washed over Jared’s face as he heard that Jensen professed his love for Jared to his parents.  Jared was so warmed by Jensen’s words that he reached his left hand out to Jensen, who took it in his right hand.

Jensen decided to save the part of the conversation where his dad suggested he marry Katie as a beard for their relationship, for after the amours that he hoped this hotel stay would yield.  

“My Mom suggested this hotel,” Jensen said as they neared the driveway. “She said the rooms are nicer here than at the Hyatt.”

They pulled into the semi-circular entrance in front of the hotel’s valet parking kiosk, where they were approached by a parking attendant. Jensen handed the keys to the attendant and accepted the claim ticket. Jensen helped Jared get their duffel bags out of the trunk, and they headed into the lobby.

It was at times like this that Jensen felt a little self-conscious about being recognized. He was with Jared, whose height was a beacon, which added to the likelihood that they would be recognized. Plus, Jensen was in his home town of Dallas. Usually, a faded sweatshirt and ball cap were enough to disguise Jensen, but Jared’s height brought a lot of attention to them. Them being together increased the odds that someone would recognize them.

Jensen didn’t want to be recognized because of the inconvenience factor. He wanted to get Jared into the room and in bed without delay. Jared sat in a chair in the lobby with the newspaper held up over his face hiding out, while Jensen checked in to the hotel, wearing his sunglasses the whole time. 

“So what’s the game plan? Jared asked.

“I’m going to go over to Katie’s house to talk to her. After that, I will come back and we can hang out in the hotel, just the two of us, order room service, watch a movie, do whatever you want.”

“Is Katie expecting you?”

“She’s probably expecting to hear from me. I’m not sure how many social engagements she has on her calendar in her present condition.”

“Yeah, well you should still text her to make sure she is available and willing to meet you on neutral territory. Take her to a coffee shop or a diner. Get her out of her parent’s house.”

“Yeah, that’s the plan. I’m gonna text her when I’m on my way. I’ll let her know I want to take her to a diner. I know of one near her house. It’s a good plan because they’re always open and serving food all times of day. She can’t drink alcohol in her condition, so she will probably appreciate a snack.”

**

Jensen texted Katie when he was waiting for the valet to get his car in the hotel lobby. He let her know he was on his way to pick her up, and that he would like to take her to the Broadway diner to talk.

Katie lowered herself into the car when Jensen got to the house. She was expecting him and came right out when she saw the car. He was glad he was spared saying hello to her parents.

“How ya doin Katie?” Jensen asked.

“Okay thanks Jensen”

“Is Broadway diner okay with you or would you prefer to go somewhere else?”

“I’m fine with the Broadway diner. There is always a lot to choose from on their menu, so I am sure I can find something to nibble on while we talk”

“Okay, Broadway diner it is then,” said Jensen.

After they were seated with menus, a waitress came and took their order pretty fast. Jensen kept the conversation to small talk about the menu until they placed their orders. Not wanting to spoil his appetite and ruin his dinner with Jared, Jensen ordered a cup of vegetable soup, mostly to be polite and so that Katie wouldn’t be the only one eating. Katie ordered a chicken salad sandwich, on whole wheat toast with lettuce and mayo, and an orange juice.

“Orange juice hey?” Jensen asked.

“Vitamin C, and the doctor told me I should be eating about 300 calories a day more than what I normally eat at this stage of the pregnancy,” Katie said.

Jensen could really look at Katie now that he was seated across from her in the booth.  He could see how much her face had changed. Her cheeks were rosy and her skin glowed, pink and warm. Her eyes had a sparkle to them. She looked radiant.

“I must admit Katie, you look well. Pregnancy seems to agree with you.”

Chapter Text

 

“I must admit Katie, you look well, Pregnancy seems to agree with you.”

“Thank you, Jensen”

“How are you feeling?”

“I feel good.  I have a baby bump now and I am starting to put on a little weight. I didn’t show for the first three months at all and could get away with no one knowing even in the fourth month. But now it’s pretty obvious that I’m pregnant. My boobs have gotten bigger. But I feel fine and I’m sleeping fine.”

“That’s good Katie. You seem happy”

“Well it was unplanned. And there’s the catholic shame of being pregnant out of wedlock, but I am happy. I want the baby Jensen.”

“Well if you want the baby - its your body, no one can tell you what to do Katie.”

Just then the food came and Jensen didn’t want to destroy the meal with confrontational conversation so he kept it light-ish while Katie was eating.

“How’s school going?” Jensen didn’t want to be too direct. He knew the topic of his paternity would inevitably come up.

“Great. I really like SMU. This is my last year. I will have my Master’s in Education by spring. I will be a qualified teacher.”

“When is the baby due?”

“The baby’s due date is March 19th Jensen.”

“Oh a Pisces just like me.”

“I know the gender too.”

“what is it?”

“It’s a boy.”

“Oh my God, you’re having a boy!”

“Awesome isn’t it?”

“Yes, a baby boy, that’s awesome.”

Jensen experienced a momentary feeling of pride and happiness, followed by a hope that he was about to learn that he was going to have a son.

“So, you’re 5 months pregnant now?”

“Five and a half,” answered Katie.

“Katie you came to my house with your parents. Your dad said you’re having my baby. He told my whole family. But you said nothing. So what’s going on? Am I having a baby or not?”

“I know this is tough on you. Now that you know I’m pregnant and that we were dating at the time I got pregnant, you wonder if the baby is yours?”

“That is exactly what I am wondering Katie. So can we end the suspense?”

“A girl knows who the father of her baby is Jensen. I have no doubt. I know the exact day of conception.”

“What was the date?”

“June 26th ………. you were out with your family celebrating your sister Mackenzie’s birthday.”

“That’s right, I remember that night.”

“That’s the night Eric Birch came through. He was promoting his album, Sinners Like Me.”

“Ironic title,” quipped jensen. “So what happened?”

“We partied after the show.”

“Don’t they travel around by bus? Where did you even find to hook up?”

“You don’t want to know the details,” she assured him.

Jensen took a beat.

“You didn’t use protection?”

“Would I be here right now?" Katie asked sarcastically.

“So you’re saying that the baby is Eric’s?”

“Yes.”

“But we were fooling around in June – May, June, and July - throughout hiatus.”

“Yes Jensen, and you always used protection. I didn’t see you that week, the week I was ovulating. We didn’t have sex during my fertile days.”

“Have you told Eric?”

“No, I have no interest in seeing him again. It was a one night stand.”

“Katie, when I came home for Labor day weekend, and played at the club, you were already pregnant. You came onto me in the manager’s office between sets.  Did you know you were pregnant?”

“Yes, I knew. I had missed 2 periods by then. I was about ten weeks pregnant then. But you rejected me Jensen. So, I didn’t tell you. What was the point? You didn’t want to be with me anymore.”

“Katie, you never called me in Vancouver. You never agreed to visit me when I practically begged you to before I left, and I heard from the bartender that you were hooking up with Tom. It was you who didn’t want to be with me.”

“Well Jensen, in truth it was a dealbreaker for me that you lived in Vancouver. I wasn’t looking to get too serious about you because of that. Plus acting? My family has always just made ends meet, with dad working at Kroger, with 9 kids, and Mom working really hard at the hospital. I didn’t want the lifelong financial insecurity that comes with being married to an actor.”

“I understand Katie. There are no guarantees in this business. Not everyone has the stomach for it. If I had a wife and kid relying on me, I would have to think twice about being an actor.”

“I’m embarrassed that I was not faithful while we were dating Jensen. I didn’t think you would ever find out. I didn’t think it would catch up with me.”

Jensen sat with Katie in the booth as the November daylight faded into dusk. He remembered Jared, waiting for him in the hotel room, and he realized the gravity of the choices we make. He wanted to have a family one day, and he wanted to plan when, and with whom. And he knew exactly where he wanted to be at this moment, and with whom.

“What is the plan Katie?”

“Well my parents think the baby is yours obviously Jensen. They know we were dating, and they don’t know I was hooking up with other people over the summer.”

“I’m looking like the bad guy to your parents right now”

“I’m sorry for that Jensen.”

“So what’s the plan Katie?”

“Tom loves me. If I marry Tom, and we have a baby as a married couple, that baby is presumed Tom’s under the law.”

“Is Tom on board with that?

“Yes, he loves me and we want to get married. It’s just that my parents are not the biggest fans of his. He was recently arrested for drug charges.”

“And you want to marry him?”

“Yes. He made a mistake trying to help me.  My family needs money because one of my brothers needs an operation and my parents can’t afford it.” Now tears formed in Katie’s eyes.

“Which brother needs an operation?”

“Kevin.”

“The hellraiser?”

“Yes, he has an irregular heartbeat. It pauses and gets very slow at night. He needs a pacemaker.”

“I’m sorry to hear that Katie. That kid's got so much spirit. Is there some way I could help?”

“How could you help Jensen?”

“I’m not sure yet Katie, but maybe I could think of something, a better idea than Tom dealing drugs in the Fat Cat Club, where he makes his living.”

“Between dad’s job at Kroger, and mom’s job at the hospital, we have health insurance, and the hospital is offering a payment plan. But surgery is not free, and coming up with an extra $40,000 is a huge deal for my family.”

“That would explain why your parents want to see you married and taken care of. They want me to step up and take my responsibility, as they understand it. It would alleviate some of the pressure they’re under.”

“Jensen, none of this is your problem.”

“Katie, you know I’m not rich. My family is not rich. Give me a few days to think about this. I will see what I can do to help.”

“Thanks Jensen. I don’t deserve you being nice to me.”

“Yes, you do Katie. Eric had it right. We are all sinners.  We all deserve love and forgiveness.”

Jensen dropped Katie off at her folks' house and headed back to the hotel to meet Jared.  The sun was down now. The days were getting shorter as December neared. He let out a deep breath, relieved that he wasn’t a baby daddy yet. As he drove to meet Jared at the Hilton, he was aware that he was driving toward the one person in the world who was more precious to him than any other.

Chapter Text

 

Jensen maneuvered the rented Jeep around the turns rapidly. He longed to get back to Jared at the hotel and disliked the idea of sending a text because there was too much to explain via text and Jensen preferred to rush back to Jared and tell him instead. His mind bounced back and forth like a tennis ball between the conversation he just had with Katie on the one hand, and the conversation he planned to have with Jared on the other hand.

The sun peeked above the horizon. It’s rays, dimmed by the November day, rebelliously projected an array of colors into the sky, a sight that rivaled the most beautiful scene nature could muster. Into this colorful backdrop, Jensen drove, to the Hilton through the city he loved so much. Avoiding the highway, he preferred to travel on the familiar streets of the city he missed. Each turn required Jensen’s concentration. He was aware of his lack of carefulness in driving now. He calculated that it would get him to Jared faster, but not so fast as to be reckless or dangerous.

His mind ping ponged to Katie. He had all good intentions when he started dating her, the girl next door, from his church. He hated to say it, even to himself, trouble followed that girl wherever she went. He dodged a bullet with her. Not his baby. Not his girlfriend. Not his wife. Not his life.

Exhilarated by the feeling of liberation, like a release from prison, he drove with singular purpose, to reach Jared. His reflected on decisions he made in his life: his high school years, his freshman year, being a model, thinking about going into show business, the pressure to join the football team, the fear of being bullied, the courage it took to join the pep squad, his fear of being called a faggot, of getting picked on by the jocks, or worse, the judgement that might reign upon him from the community for not conforming to the male stereotype.

It only saved him that he was tall and handsome, and the girls liked him. The football players wanted an entrée to meet and hang out with the girls on the pep squad, and Jensen filled that role. He was clever that way, easy to be clever when so much was at stake, social survival. He got away with being considered an athlete because he played basketball in the winter and baseball in the spring. It was said about him in his defense, by the girls on the pep squad, many who liked him, flirted with him, and wanted to make out with him, that he was also a gymnast. It wasn’t true, but he didn’t start the rumor, and didn’t bother to correct it, since it worked in his favor.

He existed in a space in high school where he was good looking and popular enough with the girls, and tall and athletic enough, just barely, since he was slender, that he got away without being teased or bullied. He was in the theater crowd, but that wasn't fatal for him socially because there were a few jocks who also enjoyed the theater. They liked attention of getting up on stage in front of the whole school. A few of them could even sing, and no one made fun of them. It only enhanced their popularity to get cast in a play since those slots were coveted, and there was a lot of competition for those roles. The spring play in junior and senior year was a huge highlight. Everyone looked forward to it. Jensen knew the feeling of worry that came with the choice of being himself when he went against societal stereotypes, and he felt like saying FUCK THAT!!! He got away doing what he wanted to do. He managed and maneuvered and remained free and true to himself. Why should anyone have a fucking say in my life choices!

But there was some ostracism and peer pressure for sure. He was thankful that his parents were cool with his choices, his Dad being and actor and his mom being musical.

Jensen could see now that there was a whole side of Jared that no one knew about or had access to. He was a likeable, fun, gregarious sort. But that was the superficial Jared. 

He realized Jared had it harder. Jared was gay, preferred dating men over women. Jared really was wired differently. And Jared had to hide who he was. And he suffered. He suffered because he was ashamed because society made it shameful to be a gay man. So Jared had to overcompensate, to be the smartest, tallest, most athletic, nicest, best looking guy you could ever want to meet. Jensen knew it was burning Jared out, and what Jared needed was a resting place, a place where he could be his whole self, be accepted, loved, relaxed and happy. Jensen would be that place.

Today Jensen felt certain. He knew he was risking his career and reputation by dating Jared. He knew it was a secret relationship and it would have to continue to be. But he was certain, taking the turns deliberately and aggressively. He was affirmatively choosing Jared. In his bones, he knew that he loved Jared. This pregnancy scare opened his eyes, and he planned to keep them open. He had no doubt about his life choice today.

Finally the semi-circular driveway of the Dallas Hilton came into view. Jensen floored it and screeched into the spot in front of the valet parking kiosk. Things looked quiet at the hotel on this Monday night before Thanksgiving. Most people were home with their families or fixin to be. Jensen, always aware of being polite to strangers who might recognize him from TV, invested the minute in engaging the valet before hastening to the elevator to get to Jared.

“Hey man,” Jensen said as the valet approached him.

“Good evening sir. Are you checking in?”

“I’m already checked in, thank you. I just need a ticket to valet the car, thanks."

“Yes, sir, certainly,” said the valet handing Jensen a ticket and relieving him of the keys to the rented Jeep.

Jensen finally free and close to seeing Jared, walked hastily to the elevator bank. Jensen grabbed the paper envelope from his back pocket that held the key card, reminding himself of the room number, "2116. 21st floor," he said aloud while pressing the button for floor 21. Finally!

The doors closed and the elevator began moving. Ding! The bell chimed for the 21st floor, and the doors opened. 

Jensen moved quickly toward room 2116. He tapped on the door to give Jared notice of his arrival, used his key card, and entered the room calling, “Jared?”

The room smelled steamy like scented soap. Jared walked into the bedroom from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was wet from showering.

“Jared” Jensen repeated, his throat knotted from the emotion he felt just looking at Jared, being reunited with him, and with relief he said ”it’s not my baby!”

“Thank God!” Jared replied approaching Jensen for a hug.

Jensen walked straight towards Jared. Their eyes met, and without hesitation they hugged. Jensen rested his head on Jared’s shoulder, and felt a burn of tears in his eyes. He felt so relieved and out of danger.

He held on to Jared. It was one of the moments in their relationship where Jensen who was perceived as the strong one by the world, relied on Jared for support. Jensen held Jared not wanting to let go, taking comfort in the safety and love of his boyfriend. They kissed on the mouth passionately.

“Cmon let’s sit down” Jared said leading Jensen to the sofa.

“No, I prefer to lay down on the bed” answered Jensen, guiding them toward the bed.

Jared, still holding his towel, walked toward the bed. He sat on the edge. 

Jensen took off his jacket and, sitting on the edge of the bed, pulled off his cowboy boots.

“Lay next to me,” Jensen requested, as he reclined onto the bed.

Jared did. 

“Tell me” Jared solicited. He didn’t need to ask because Jensen was keen to talk. 

“Jared. She’s pregnant by a guy who played a gig at the bar, not by me, not even by the bar owner, Tom. Tom loves her though, and is willing to marry her and be a father to her baby. Her family is having financial problems, her kid brother needs an operation. In order to help, Tom foolishly took up drug dealing in the bar. Pretty misguided. I told her I would try to help her family out. I’m gonna send her some money, and praise God that things worked out, and pray for her and her family. It’s all I can do. I’m sorry. I’m talking a mile a minute.”

Jared listened attentively. His eyebrows went up. “You’re sending her money after what she pulled last night at your house? letting her parents believe it was your baby? and acting out that drama in front of your parents? Man I'd be pissed!”

“Jared, I don’t care about any of that. All I care about is you and me. This whole hellish experience has given me clarity. I couldn’t wait to get back to you tonight. When I was driving here, back to the hotel, I couldn’t get here fast enough, to get back to you. I had a revelation. I knew something very clearly Jared. I love you, and I want to be with you. I want to be with you Jared. Do you understand me?”

"Yes, Jensen, relax, calm down, its going to be alright.” Jared smoothed his hand over Jensen’s face to soothe him. “It’s going to be alright,” Jared repeated.

“I love you so much Jared,” Jensen said kissing Jared on the lips tenderly.

Jensen placed a hand on the narrow dip of Jared’s waist as he lay on the bed on his side facing Jensen.
Between tender kisses Jensen asked, “Why did you shower? You already showered at my parents’ house this morning."

“I felt pretty tense while I was waiting so I worked out. They have a pretty nice gym here.”

“Are you hungry?”

“You know I am always hungry.”

Jensen remembered well that Jared loved to be romanced and Jensen was happy to indulge him in that way.

“Can I take you out to dinner in Dallas? Or can I offer you dinner in the hotel restaurant? They have gorgeous views of the city from the restaurant. Or can I interest you in room service?”

“The last option. I just want to be alone with you and enjoy our privacy. Besides this room has a great view, 21 flights up, and there’s a table and chairs by the window. This room has as nice as any view in any restaurant and is more private.” Jared said. 

“Okay, how does filet mignon sound, baked potato some asparagus or a green salad for a vegetable?”

“Sounds perfect,” answered Jared. 

“Can I interest you in some champagne and strawberries and an accompaniment?”

“You can.”

“And I will order something sweet too, but not chocolates, I know you can take or leave chocolates. And some red wine to go with the steak,”

“That all sounds perfect,” said Jared.

Jensen called in the order while Jared lay on the bed.

“I ordered three desserts, vanilla bean cheesecake, peach cobbler and warm apple crisp, vanilla ice cream on the side. It’s gonna take an hour.”

After hanging up the phone with room service, Jensen asked, “Can we do something about getting you out of that towel?”

Jensen lay on the bed beside Jared. He slid the towel open. Jared looked at him intently. Jensen’s hand explored what lay under the towel. The tender white skin of Jared’s belly below his waistline, the community of hairs that led in a trail down Jared’s belly, the area of skin at the bottom of that trail, like the grass around the base of a tree trunk, Jensen’s touch brought Jared in closer to him.

“Kiss me while you touch me there,” said Jared moving his face in toward Jensen and closing his eyes reverently.

"Be right back one sec don’t move," Jensen got the lube from his duffel bag, and stripped naked quickly before jumping back onto the bed next to Jared.

Jensen lightly lubed his left hand, as he was laying on his right side facing Jared. He gently slid his hand over Jared’s balls and massaged them causing Jared to lay on his back and spread his knees out to the side opening up for Jensen to touch him murmuring soft sounds of pleasure. 

Jensen gently massaged Jared’s balls and slid his middle finger in the crease of Jared’s ass teasing his hole. With that Jensen went down on Jared taking his cock in his mouth while gently pulling on his ball sack and lapping up Jared’s dick, sucking on his engorged head, licking under the rim of the head and devouring the delicious cock before him.

Jared’s majestic cock stood like Big Ben, a towering monument. Jensen liked working it. He liked to bring his big strong boyfriend to his proverbial knees sucking him off until his body trembled and his voice broke into a high register and he begged for Jensen to never stop until he screamed his release and shouted to the heavens with pleasure.

They had talked about it but until tonight one or both of them hesitated for reasons that may or may not have been articulated. Jensen knew they both wanted to go all the way physically, but the insecurity of their relationship prevented them from going through with it. Jensen couldn't take sex with Jared lightly. He knew Jared was not a light kind of guy when it came to love and relationships.

But tonight Jensen felt ready. He was pretty sure Jared had been wanting this to happen. Jensen was clear that Jared was tuned into the situation so that when Jensen asked for that, it signaled a bigger commitment for them. Tonight was the night. It was the night they would make love for the first time.

When Jared was mighty aroused, Jensen took a lubed finger and teased Jared's hole, probing with gentle pressure, sometimes getting his finger in there about one inch. It was something Jared loved, and if he was super aroused, it always made him come.

But tonight Jensen didn’t wait until Jared was on the verge of coming to insert his finger.

The noises coming out of Jared were celestial and Jensen kept the pleasure coming using his mouth and finger.

“Jared, I want to make love to you tonight” Jensen said, “if you’re ready, if you consent. When we started dating you made a big case for waiting and taking things slowly.”

“I’m ready,” Jared answered. “I love you. I want to. I've been waiting for you to be ready.... for the commitment."

"I know. I'm ready Jared."

Jensen kissed Jared on the lips and massaged a second finger into Jared’s hole, then went down on him again massaging his hole while sucking his dick.

Jensen felt ready he did his online research to ensure he would know what to do for Jared's enjoyment and satisfaction.

Wanting to be a considerate lover, Jensen asked, “do you want me to make love to you from behind, or do you want prefer missionary style?”

"I think for the first time I would like it if I Iowered myself onto you, like if I sat on top of you," Jared answered shyly and sweetly.

"Then you shall have what you like Jared."

Jensen applied himself further to sucking Jared’s cock soaking him with saliva, and rubbed it in Jared’s hole.

Jared tapped Jensen to come up and kiss him. Then he gently gestured motioning for Jensen to lay on his back. Jared took a turn using his mouth on Jensen’s cock, which he told Jensen was perfect like a foot long hot dog. Jensen, deeply intoxicated by his feelings for Jared, murmured “Jared, my love” prayerfully.
Jared sat astride Jensen positioning himself over Jensen’s hard, beautiful, cock. Using his hand as a guide, Jared positioned Jensen’s cock at his entrance, and slowly sat on Jensen’s cock, applying gentle measured pressure using the weight of his body.

"Touch me, touch my cock," Jared placed Jensen's hand where he liked to be touched.

Jensen used a lubed hand to gently pump Jared’s cock as Jared bore down on Jensen.

The moment that Jared sheathed Jensen’s cock, “Oh my god” issued from Jensen’s mouth, his hips lifted from the bed instinctively, nature overtook him. He met Jared as Jared lowered himself onto Jensen.

Jensen gripped Jared’s biceps. He thrust his hips up like an animal primally, Jensen's desires ignited.

And when he got close, Jensen chanted, "fuck me, baby, fuck me, fuck me, oh fuuuuuhhhhhccckkkk mmeeeeeeee!" and Jensen came to the heavens and into Jared’s body and sensing it, Jared came and rode out his orgasm with Jensen.

Jared and Jensen lay in bed together. With nowhere they had to be, and nothing they had to do, and without the world intruding on them, they enjoyed each other's company in undisturbed peace and privacy.

Jensen stirred when he heard a knock at the door followed by a male voice announce, “Room service!”

“Just a minute!” answered Jensen.

"Good. I'm starving," Jared commented huskily as he roused himself from his sleepy afterglow.

“You want to stay in bed with the covers over your head? Or go to the bathroom while the room service is delivered?”

“I’ll go the the bathroom,” Jared kissed Jensen, got out of the bed naked, and walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

"You're so sexy" Jensen loud whispered through the bathroom door.

“Coming” Jensen said, quickly pulling on his jeans and tee shirt. He walked over to the door and opened it.

“Good evening sir. Where would you like me to set up your dinner?”

“On the table by the window would be good.”

Jensen held open the door as the waiter rolled the cart into the room. Jensen found the food to be as succulent looing as he hoped. There was an ice bucket with champagne in it. A silver bowl of strawberries graced the tray. The dinner plates were covered with warming covers. A condiment carousel contained butter, sour cream and chives, shredded bacon, and grated cheddar cheese as fixins for the baked potatoes. The desserts appeared delicious, and a bottle of Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon was the piece de resistance.

“The chef sent some chocolate sauce on the side for dipping the strawberries,” said the waiter as he arranged the plates on the table.

“Good thank you. I’m glad you put it on the side, my better half doesn’t care for chocolate, but I love it.”

Jensen heard the shower go on in the bathroom.

“When you’re ready sir, just call room service and we will come back with the cart to collect everything. If you prefer not to be disturbed, you may leave the tray outside the door, and we will not disturb you when we pick it up.”

“That sounds good,” Jensen replied.

Jensen signed the room service bill and added a ten dollar tip, even though he saw that the hotel already added a tip automatically.

“Thank you sir. Call if you require anything further.”

“Will do. Thank you,” said Jensen, closing the door behind the waiter.

Jensen tapped on the door. He heard the shower running so he figured it was safe to enter.

“Jay” he called out.

“Thought I’d rinse off” came Jared's reply.

“I’ll join you.” Jensen undressed and stepped into the shower with Jared.

He let the hot water run over his hair and body and pressed his body up against Jared’s, front to front. They leaned into each other letting the hot stream of water wash over their bodies.

Jensen helped himself to a few, big passionate Jared kisses. He was feeling a combination of super needy and loving today, and wanted to be connected to Jared as closely as possible.

After a few kisses, Jensen squeezed some shampoo in his hair and used it for his hair and body, “it’s quicker” he explained smiling at Jared.

"I’m finished washing. I’m gonna get out," Jared said.

“I’ll be right out” Jensen replied.

Jared dried off while Jensen lingering under the hot water. He enjoyed the pressure of the hot water pelting on his lower back like a massage. After the bathroom was completely steamed up and Jensen was sufficiently relaxed, he decided ti reluctantly end his sweet shower.

“Comin’ out” Jensen turned off the water, and accepted the big, fluffy, white towel Jared handed him. "Thank you. I love these towels. They're so luxurious. Why aren't my towels at home as nice as this?"

"Maybe if you're good Santa will bring you some for Christmas."

As Jensen dried off, he watched Jared pulled on loose sweatpants and sweat socks for lounging in.

"That looks comfortable. I'm going to put on sweats too." Jensen offered.

“I don’t want to do anything other than eat and hang in tonight,” Jared said.

“Ditto” answered Jensen, “I just want to hang in with you,” not passing up the chance to deposit another kiss on Jared's soft pink lips to go with the affectionate admission.

“We can let the red wine breathe while we toast with a glass of champagne” Jensen said while uncorking the bottle of red wine. Jensen poured them each a glass of wine and placed them on the table to breathe.

Pop! Jensen uncorked the champagne and poured it into 2 frosty cold champagne flutes. He raised his glass, watching the mini bubbles ascend from the bottom of the glass to the top like mini elevators.

"A toast," said Jensen, "To you and me. I never want to spend a day without you."

Jensen waited and observed Jared's reaction. Jared was tongue tied, a rare occurrence, but he knew that Jared was unaccustomed to lavish expressions of love and affection from anyone. Plus there was an implied commitment that Jensen knew was not lost on Jared.

Jared smiled in response in a shy manner and looked very pleased.

Jensen interpreted Jared's silence positively. It was a solemn moment. One that would cause Jared to pause from his usual chattiness.

The food and champagne cheered and delighted Jensen. The steaks tasted delicious. The potatoes were hot, yummy and filling. Jared devoured the food confirming Jensen's menu selections. The red wine was a great compliment in Jensen's view, and they switched between it and the champagne.

Jared judged all three desserts and announced his favorite to Jensen was the warm apple crisp with vanilla ice cream. Jensen didn't care. He simply loved watching Jared be this happy and lighthearted.

"Are you sufficiently full?" Jensen asked Jared.

"Yes" replied Jared.

"Would you like to remove to the sofa and watch a movie on TV?" asked Jensen.

"Yes that would be absolutely perfect" answered Jared.