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Jensen Untethered

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Jensen maneuvered the rented Jeep around the turns rapidly. He longed to get back to Jared at the hotel and disliked the idea of sending a text because there was too much to explain via text and Jensen preferred to rush back to Jared and tell him instead. His mind bounced back and forth like a tennis ball between the conversation he just had with Katie on the one hand, and the conversation he planned to have with Jared on the other hand.

The sun peeked above the horizon. It’s rays, dimmed by the November day, rebelliously projected an array of colors into the sky, a sight that rivaled the most beautiful scene nature could muster. Into this colorful backdrop, Jensen drove, to the Hilton through the city he loved so much. Avoiding the highway, he preferred to travel on the familiar streets of the city he missed. Each turn required Jensen’s concentration. He was aware of his lack of carefulness in driving now. He calculated that it would get him to Jared faster, but not so fast as to be reckless or dangerous.

His mind ping ponged to Katie. He had all good intentions when he started dating her, the girl next door, from his church. He hated to say it, even to himself, trouble followed that girl wherever she went. He dodged a bullet with her. Not his baby. Not his girlfriend. Not his wife. Not his life.

Exhilarated by the feeling of liberation, like a release from prison, he drove with singular purpose, to reach Jared. His reflected on decisions he made in his life: his high school years, his freshman year, being a model, thinking about going into show business, the pressure to join the football team, the fear of being bullied, the courage it took to join the pep squad, his fear of being called a faggot, of getting picked on by the jocks, or worse, the judgement that might reign upon him from the community for not conforming to the male stereotype.

It only saved him that he was tall and handsome, and the girls liked him. The football players wanted an entrée to meet and hang out with the girls on the pep squad, and Jensen filled that role. He was clever that way, easy to be clever when so much was at stake, social survival. He got away with being considered an athlete because he played basketball in the winter and baseball in the spring. It was said about him in his defense, by the girls on the pep squad, many who liked him, flirted with him, and wanted to make out with him, that he was also a gymnast. It wasn’t true, but he didn’t start the rumor, and didn’t bother to correct it, since it worked in his favor.

He existed in a space in high school where he was good looking and popular enough with the girls, and tall and athletic enough, just barely, since he was slender, that he got away without being teased or bullied. He was in the theater crowd, but that wasn't fatal for him socially because there were a few jocks who also enjoyed the theater. They liked attention of getting up on stage in front of the whole school. A few of them could even sing, and no one made fun of them. It only enhanced their popularity to get cast in a play since those slots were coveted, and there was a lot of competition for those roles. The spring play in junior and senior year was a huge highlight. Everyone looked forward to it. Jensen knew the feeling of worry that came with the choice of being himself when he went against societal stereotypes, and he felt like saying FUCK THAT!!! He got away doing what he wanted to do. He managed and maneuvered and remained free and true to himself. Why should anyone have a fucking say in my life choices!

But there was some ostracism and peer pressure for sure. He was thankful that his parents were cool with his choices, his Dad being and actor and his mom being musical.

Jensen could see now that there was a whole side of Jared that no one knew about or had access to. He was a likeable, fun, gregarious sort. But that was the superficial Jared. 

He realized Jared had it harder. Jared was gay, preferred dating men over women. Jared really was wired differently. And Jared had to hide who he was. And he suffered. He suffered because he was ashamed because society made it shameful to be a gay man. So Jared had to overcompensate, to be the smartest, tallest, most athletic, nicest, best looking guy you could ever want to meet. Jensen knew it was burning Jared out, and what Jared needed was a resting place, a place where he could be his whole self, be accepted, loved, relaxed and happy. Jensen would be that place.

Today Jensen felt certain. He knew he was risking his career and reputation by dating Jared. He knew it was a secret relationship and it would have to continue to be. But he was certain, taking the turns deliberately and aggressively. He was affirmatively choosing Jared. In his bones, he knew that he loved Jared. This pregnancy scare opened his eyes, and he planned to keep them open. He had no doubt about his life choice today.

Finally the semi-circular driveway of the Dallas Hilton came into view. Jensen floored it and screeched into the spot in front of the valet parking kiosk. Things looked quiet at the hotel on this Monday night before Thanksgiving. Most people were home with their families or fixin to be. Jensen, always aware of being polite to strangers who might recognize him from TV, invested the minute in engaging the valet before hastening to the elevator to get to Jared.

“Hey man,” Jensen said as the valet approached him.

“Good evening sir. Are you checking in?”

“I’m already checked in, thank you. I just need a ticket to valet the car, thanks."

“Yes, sir, certainly,” said the valet handing Jensen a ticket and relieving him of the keys to the rented Jeep.

Jensen finally free and close to seeing Jared, walked hastily to the elevator bank. Jensen grabbed the paper envelope from his back pocket that held the key card, reminding himself of the room number, "2116. 21st floor," he said aloud while pressing the button for floor 21. Finally!

The doors closed and the elevator began moving. Ding! The bell chimed for the 21st floor, and the doors opened. 

Jensen moved quickly toward room 2116. He tapped on the door to give Jared notice of his arrival, used his key card, and entered the room calling, “Jared?”

The room smelled steamy like scented soap. Jared walked into the bedroom from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was wet from showering.

“Jared” Jensen repeated, his throat knotted from the emotion he felt just looking at Jared, being reunited with him, and with relief he said ”it’s not my baby!”

“Thank God!” Jared replied approaching Jensen for a hug.

Jensen walked straight towards Jared. Their eyes met, and without hesitation they hugged. Jensen rested his head on Jared’s shoulder, and felt a burn of tears in his eyes. He felt so relieved and out of danger.

He held on to Jared. It was one of the moments in their relationship where Jensen who was perceived as the strong one by the world, relied on Jared for support. Jensen held Jared not wanting to let go, taking comfort in the safety and love of his boyfriend. They kissed on the mouth passionately.

“Cmon let’s sit down” Jared said leading Jensen to the sofa.

“No, I prefer to lay down on the bed” answered Jensen, guiding them toward the bed.

Jared, still holding his towel, walked toward the bed. He sat on the edge. 

Jensen took off his jacket and, sitting on the edge of the bed, pulled off his cowboy boots.

“Lay next to me,” Jensen requested, as he reclined onto the bed.

Jared did. 

“Tell me” Jared solicited. He didn’t need to ask because Jensen was keen to talk. 

“Jared. She’s pregnant by a guy who played a gig at the bar, not by me, not even by the bar owner, Tom. Tom loves her though, and is willing to marry her and be a father to her baby. Her family is having financial problems, her kid brother needs an operation. In order to help, Tom foolishly took up drug dealing in the bar. Pretty misguided. I told her I would try to help her family out. I’m gonna send her some money, and praise God that things worked out, and pray for her and her family. It’s all I can do. I’m sorry. I’m talking a mile a minute.”

Jared listened attentively. His eyebrows went up. “You’re sending her money after what she pulled last night at your house? letting her parents believe it was your baby? and acting out that drama in front of your parents? Man I'd be pissed!”

“Jared, I don’t care about any of that. All I care about is you and me. This whole hellish experience has given me clarity. I couldn’t wait to get back to you tonight. When I was driving here, back to the hotel, I couldn’t get here fast enough, to get back to you. I had a revelation. I knew something very clearly Jared. I love you, and I want to be with you. I want to be with you Jared. Do you understand me?”

"Yes, Jensen, relax, calm down, its going to be alright.” Jared smoothed his hand over Jensen’s face to soothe him. “It’s going to be alright,” Jared repeated.

“I love you so much Jared,” Jensen said kissing Jared on the lips tenderly.

Jensen placed a hand on the narrow dip of Jared’s waist as he lay on the bed on his side facing Jensen.
Between tender kisses Jensen asked, “Why did you shower? You already showered at my parents’ house this morning."

“I felt pretty tense while I was waiting so I worked out. They have a pretty nice gym here.”

“Are you hungry?”

“You know I am always hungry.”

Jensen remembered well that Jared loved to be romanced and Jensen was happy to indulge him in that way.

“Can I take you out to dinner in Dallas? Or can I offer you dinner in the hotel restaurant? They have gorgeous views of the city from the restaurant. Or can I interest you in room service?”

“The last option. I just want to be alone with you and enjoy our privacy. Besides this room has a great view, 21 flights up, and there’s a table and chairs by the window. This room has as nice as any view in any restaurant and is more private.” Jared said. 

“Okay, how does filet mignon sound, baked potato some asparagus or a green salad for a vegetable?”

“Sounds perfect,” answered Jared. 

“Can I interest you in some champagne and strawberries and an accompaniment?”

“You can.”

“And I will order something sweet too, but not chocolates, I know you can take or leave chocolates. And some red wine to go with the steak,”

“That all sounds perfect,” said Jared.

Jensen called in the order while Jared lay on the bed.

“I ordered three desserts, vanilla bean cheesecake, peach cobbler and warm apple crisp, vanilla ice cream on the side. It’s gonna take an hour.”

After hanging up the phone with room service, Jensen asked, “Can we do something about getting you out of that towel?”

Jensen lay on the bed beside Jared. He slid the towel open. Jared looked at him intently. Jensen’s hand explored what lay under the towel. The tender white skin of Jared’s belly below his waistline, the community of hairs that led in a trail down Jared’s belly, the area of skin at the bottom of that trail, like the grass around the base of a tree trunk, Jensen’s touch brought Jared in closer to him.

“Kiss me while you touch me there,” said Jared moving his face in toward Jensen and closing his eyes reverently.

"Be right back one sec don’t move," Jensen got the lube from his duffel bag, and stripped naked quickly before jumping back onto the bed next to Jared.

Jensen lightly lubed his left hand, as he was laying on his right side facing Jared. He gently slid his hand over Jared’s balls and massaged them causing Jared to lay on his back and spread his knees out to the side opening up for Jensen to touch him murmuring soft sounds of pleasure. 

Jensen gently massaged Jared’s balls and slid his middle finger in the crease of Jared’s ass teasing his hole. With that Jensen went down on Jared taking his cock in his mouth while gently pulling on his ball sack and lapping up Jared’s dick, sucking on his engorged head, licking under the rim of the head and devouring the delicious cock before him.

Jared’s majestic cock stood like Big Ben, a towering monument. Jensen liked working it. He liked to bring his big strong boyfriend to his proverbial knees sucking him off until his body trembled and his voice broke into a high register and he begged for Jensen to never stop until he screamed his release and shouted to the heavens with pleasure.

They had talked about it but until tonight one or both of them hesitated for reasons that may or may not have been articulated. Jensen knew they both wanted to go all the way physically, but the insecurity of their relationship prevented them from going through with it. Jensen couldn't take sex with Jared lightly. He knew Jared was not a light kind of guy when it came to love and relationships.

But tonight Jensen felt ready. He was pretty sure Jared had been wanting this to happen. Jensen was clear that Jared was tuned into the situation so that when Jensen asked for that, it signaled a bigger commitment for them. Tonight was the night. It was the night they would make love for the first time.

When Jared was mighty aroused, Jensen took a lubed finger and teased Jared's hole, probing with gentle pressure, sometimes getting his finger in there about one inch. It was something Jared loved, and if he was super aroused, it always made him come.

But tonight Jensen didn’t wait until Jared was on the verge of coming to insert his finger.

The noises coming out of Jared were celestial and Jensen kept the pleasure coming using his mouth and finger.

“Jared, I want to make love to you tonight” Jensen said, “if you’re ready, if you consent. When we started dating you made a big case for waiting and taking things slowly.”

“I’m ready,” Jared answered. “I love you. I want to. I've been waiting for you to be ready.... for the commitment."

"I know. I'm ready Jared."

Jensen kissed Jared on the lips and massaged a second finger into Jared’s hole, then went down on him again massaging his hole while sucking his dick.

Jensen felt ready he did his online research to ensure he would know what to do for Jared's enjoyment and satisfaction.

Wanting to be a considerate lover, Jensen asked, “do you want me to make love to you from behind, or do you want prefer missionary style?”

"I think for the first time I would like it if I Iowered myself onto you, like if I sat on top of you," Jared answered shyly and sweetly.

"Then you shall have what you like Jared."

Jensen applied himself further to sucking Jared’s cock soaking him with saliva, and rubbed it in Jared’s hole.

Jared tapped Jensen to come up and kiss him. Then he gently gestured motioning for Jensen to lay on his back. Jared took a turn using his mouth on Jensen’s cock, which he told Jensen was perfect like a foot long hot dog. Jensen, deeply intoxicated by his feelings for Jared, murmured “Jared, my love” prayerfully.
Jared sat astride Jensen positioning himself over Jensen’s hard, beautiful, cock. Using his hand as a guide, Jared positioned Jensen’s cock at his entrance, and slowly sat on Jensen’s cock, applying gentle measured pressure using the weight of his body.

"Touch me, touch my cock," Jared placed Jensen's hand where he liked to be touched.

Jensen used a lubed hand to gently pump Jared’s cock as Jared bore down on Jensen.

The moment that Jared sheathed Jensen’s cock, “Oh my god” issued from Jensen’s mouth, his hips lifted from the bed instinctively, nature overtook him. He met Jared as Jared lowered himself onto Jensen.

Jensen gripped Jared’s biceps. He thrust his hips up like an animal primally, Jensen's desires ignited.

And when he got close, Jensen chanted, "fuck me, baby, fuck me, fuck me, oh fuuuuuhhhhhccckkkk mmeeeeeeee!" and Jensen came to the heavens and into Jared’s body and sensing it, Jared came and rode out his orgasm with Jensen.

Jared and Jensen lay in bed together. With nowhere they had to be, and nothing they had to do, and without the world intruding on them, they enjoyed each other's company in undisturbed peace and privacy.

Jensen stirred when he heard a knock at the door followed by a male voice announce, “Room service!”

“Just a minute!” answered Jensen.

"Good. I'm starving," Jared commented huskily as he roused himself from his sleepy afterglow.

“You want to stay in bed with the covers over your head? Or go to the bathroom while the room service is delivered?”

“I’ll go the the bathroom,” Jared kissed Jensen, got out of the bed naked, and walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

"You're so sexy" Jensen loud whispered through the bathroom door.

“Coming” Jensen said, quickly pulling on his jeans and tee shirt. He walked over to the door and opened it.

“Good evening sir. Where would you like me to set up your dinner?”

“On the table by the window would be good.”

Jensen held open the door as the waiter rolled the cart into the room. Jensen found the food to be as succulent looing as he hoped. There was an ice bucket with champagne in it. A silver bowl of strawberries graced the tray. The dinner plates were covered with warming covers. A condiment carousel contained butter, sour cream and chives, shredded bacon, and grated cheddar cheese as fixins for the baked potatoes. The desserts appeared delicious, and a bottle of Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon was the piece de resistance.

“The chef sent some chocolate sauce on the side for dipping the strawberries,” said the waiter as he arranged the plates on the table.

“Good thank you. I’m glad you put it on the side, my better half doesn’t care for chocolate, but I love it.”

Jensen heard the shower go on in the bathroom.

“When you’re ready sir, just call room service and we will come back with the cart to collect everything. If you prefer not to be disturbed, you may leave the tray outside the door, and we will not disturb you when we pick it up.”

“That sounds good,” Jensen replied.

Jensen signed the room service bill and added a ten dollar tip, even though he saw that the hotel already added a tip automatically.

“Thank you sir. Call if you require anything further.”

“Will do. Thank you,” said Jensen, closing the door behind the waiter.

Jensen tapped on the door. He heard the shower running so he figured it was safe to enter.

“Jay” he called out.

“Thought I’d rinse off” came Jared's reply.

“I’ll join you.” Jensen undressed and stepped into the shower with Jared.

He let the hot water run over his hair and body and pressed his body up against Jared’s, front to front. They leaned into each other letting the hot stream of water wash over their bodies.

Jensen helped himself to a few, big passionate Jared kisses. He was feeling a combination of super needy and loving today, and wanted to be connected to Jared as closely as possible.

After a few kisses, Jensen squeezed some shampoo in his hair and used it for his hair and body, “it’s quicker” he explained smiling at Jared.

"I’m finished washing. I’m gonna get out," Jared said.

“I’ll be right out” Jensen replied.

Jared dried off while Jensen lingering under the hot water. He enjoyed the pressure of the hot water pelting on his lower back like a massage. After the bathroom was completely steamed up and Jensen was sufficiently relaxed, he decided ti reluctantly end his sweet shower.

“Comin’ out” Jensen turned off the water, and accepted the big, fluffy, white towel Jared handed him. "Thank you. I love these towels. They're so luxurious. Why aren't my towels at home as nice as this?"

"Maybe if you're good Santa will bring you some for Christmas."

As Jensen dried off, he watched Jared pulled on loose sweatpants and sweat socks for lounging in.

"That looks comfortable. I'm going to put on sweats too." Jensen offered.

“I don’t want to do anything other than eat and hang in tonight,” Jared said.

“Ditto” answered Jensen, “I just want to hang in with you,” not passing up the chance to deposit another kiss on Jared's soft pink lips to go with the affectionate admission.

“We can let the red wine breathe while we toast with a glass of champagne” Jensen said while uncorking the bottle of red wine. Jensen poured them each a glass of wine and placed them on the table to breathe.

Pop! Jensen uncorked the champagne and poured it into 2 frosty cold champagne flutes. He raised his glass, watching the mini bubbles ascend from the bottom of the glass to the top like mini elevators.

"A toast," said Jensen, "To you and me. I never want to spend a day without you."

Jensen waited and observed Jared's reaction. Jared was tongue tied, a rare occurrence, but he knew that Jared was unaccustomed to lavish expressions of love and affection from anyone. Plus there was an implied commitment that Jensen knew was not lost on Jared.

Jared smiled in response in a shy manner and looked very pleased.

Jensen interpreted Jared's silence positively. It was a solemn moment. One that would cause Jared to pause from his usual chattiness.

The food and champagne cheered and delighted Jensen. The steaks tasted delicious. The potatoes were hot, yummy and filling. Jared devoured the food confirming Jensen's menu selections. The red wine was a great compliment in Jensen's view, and they switched between it and the champagne.

Jared judged all three desserts and announced his favorite to Jensen was the warm apple crisp with vanilla ice cream. Jensen didn't care. He simply loved watching Jared be this happy and lighthearted.

"Are you sufficiently full?" Jensen asked Jared.

"Yes" replied Jared.

"Would you like to remove to the sofa and watch a movie on TV?" asked Jensen.

"Yes that would be absolutely perfect" answered Jared.