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everywhere i go, every smile i see

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Lena sobbed as she made her way out of Lex's secret lair. What he'd just told her rocked her world. Completely upended it. And she was devastated. Heartbroken. Alone and unwanted. She got in the car she'd used and unlocked her phone screen to send a text.

//Park? When I get back.//
//Ok//

She drove in silence, only broken by the occasional hiccup she couldn't suppress.

Once she got home, she left the car in the building's garage, along with her phone. She took the elevator to the street level, but made sure it went all the way up to the penthouse level after she got off.

As she walked along the street, she maintained a stony silence. Once she walked into the thrift store, she picked out a full outfit, including socks and sneakers, and changed into it, leaving more than enough cash behind as well as every single item of clothing she'd had on, minus her bra and underwear.

She could feel herself slouching underneath the baggy hoodie, assuming the character of someone who would wear such a thing, along with the world's most boring straight-leg jeans and what she thought were Vans on her feet.

Once she reached the park, she walked over to the baseball field and stood in the middle of the outfield. Just standing there, hands in the hoodie pocket, looking at the stars. After a few moments, she sat down, still gazing upwards, deep in thought.

Then someone else sat down next to her. Someone in a similar outfit, but with a huge beanie on, covering their head and any hair they might have had.

"I did it," Lena whispered to the other person. "I did it."

"Did he believe you?" came the soft response.

"I'm sure he did. And I made sure to keep it up until I got out of my clothes in case they'd been bugged somehow."

"You're an amazing actress."

Lena turned her head to face her companion. "He's not dead. There's no way he hasn't already been revived somehow."

"And we will fight," came the soft voice again, shining blue eyes looking deeply into Lena's.

"I'm going to miss you," Lena whispered.

"It's going to be so rough," Kara whispered back. "And I don't want to, I -really- don't want to."

"I'm going to do a lot of horrible things, and they're going to have to be aimed at you." Lena bit her lip.

"And I'm going to have to pretend to believe it," Kara whispered. "My heart already hurts."

"But you're an amazing actress, too. You can do it."

"I just hope this will come to an end soon, so I don't have to miss the real you for too long."

"I'm going to have to toy with your emotions. I don't know how long I'll be able to, but I'm going to do as much as I can. For safety's sake."

"I'll try not to cry too much in front of you. I know you can't stand to see it."

"If I keep running the AI simulations over and over, I can desensitize for the duration. And they'll get ahold of the records somehow and see what I've been doing, so it'll look better."

"Give me at least one punch in the simulation, okay? For lying to you for so long."

Lena nodded. "I can do that. Because it isn't you."

Kara slipped her arm around Lena's shoulders. "I'm going to miss cuddling you."

Lena sighed heavily. "I think I'll miss that most of all."

"Before we part for Rao knows how long, one more thing?"

"Anything."

"I'm in love with you. I don't know how I'm going to get through this."

"Oh, darling. I've known that for awhile too. You wear your heart on your sleeve, -and- you're a bad liar. But believe me, I'm just as in love with you. I've been in love with you for so long. Which is why this is going to hurt so -damn- much after tonight."

"Kiss for good luck, then?"

"A promise of more. When this is all over."

Dark red lipstick met light pink lipgloss delicately, lovingly, afraid to spoil the last tender moment they'd have for a long time. Lena curled her arms around Kara's neck as Kara slipped her arms around Lena's waist, and they continued to kiss softly, caught in the fleeting moment under the bright, twinkling stars.

"I'll miss this," Lena sighed as she relaxed in Kara's arms, reclining but still safely held. "I have some absolutely crazy shit planned. Shortly. To make them think I cracked after he told me."

"I don't -want- to lie to my sister and everybody else," Kara sighed herself. "To keep them thinking you don't know and I still need to tell you."

"It keeps us both safe," Lena replied. "Them as well. It just keeps us all safe. Which is why we can't meet like this again til it's over."

"I just want to be with you, the real you, and be the real me." Kara's sigh was more of a scoff. "When do we get that?"

"If we're lucky, sooner rather than later." Lena nuzzled Kara's neck with her nose. "But we have to stay the course."

"You'll let me know if we can meet again before it's over, though?"

"If it's even remotely possible." Lena sat up. "I have to get back now, it's been too long. Kiss me again, for luck?"

"You are now and you will always be my hero, just so you know." Kara kissed her, trying not to let her newfound anxiety and desperation bleed through.

"See you when I see you...my love." Lena turned away before she got up. Kara's sad eyes could break anyone's hardened resolve.

"See you, my love." Kara dropped her head and waited for the footsteps to recede before she allowed herself to cry.

 

The months ahead would test them severely. But those few fleeting moments in the park with the most important declaration of all finally spoken would keep them both going in their secret heart of hearts. Lena loved Kara, and Kara loved Lena. And when it was all over, they would be together again.